Age 24 - Healed my ED, but PMO binges set me back during last 18 months
I have been rebooting since early January 2012 (posted on September 16th, 2013) and have also written a success story here almost a year ago. I managed to have sex with a girl after a long time of rebooting and we stayed "fuck buddies" until almost a month a go. She told me she had found someone new, after i repeatedly had told her that I only was interested in sex with her.
I want to write here because, even though I rarely contribute to the forum, I read It almost daily. The reason is that I'm not cured yet. Many times I have rebooted, got my libido back and fucked this petite little chick and felt like a sex God. My erection is great and I can have sex 2-3 times in one night. Usually with my old girlfriend I could only perform one time per day. The problem is that the sex was only a thing that happened 1-3 times a month, even though it helped me rewire, I would often binge to porn maybe a week after, because of the classic chaser effect.
I know you have heard many times that you cannot watch porn ever again, so I want to make this really clear. I have been doing this for a looong time, and a binge will put you almost back to square one, I promise you, because this have happened to me at least 7 times after my libido is restored. You might get a way with one quick peek and masturbate, but if you do it 2-3 times on day and the day after you will get into flatline again, and all your progress will be gone. Even one small session will fire up the pleasure response in your brain, and your libido will feel weaker. Don't do it man, it's not worth it
I'm rebooting again and have managed to stay 1 1/2 month clear of porn, MO'ed one time on day 32 and one time the day after. The amount of porn that I have watched the last 2 years is ridiculously low compared to what i used to do (maybe 10 times this year), but the small binges takes me back every time. I'm starting to get out of flatline now, and hope that I will get the opportunity to rewire with a new girl sometime soon.
- You can never ever watch porn again. I mean it !! You will never heal if you masturbate to porn, even tough it's only one time a month. I think that is the reason that so many of us don't beat this addiction. It's like 1 step forward and 1 step back. For those of you who need to reboot + 150 days, it will really break your spirit to go back to square one.
- Rewiring is the key. I'm lucky that I had a girlfriend for 4 years, so I think those of us that who has sexual experience will reboot faster.
- Controversial opinion: I have seen benefits from masturbating with pure touch, after my libido is back. This also means a type of edging/balloning were I stop myself from coming several times and stop before I come. Do this 2-3 days before you finally orgasm. This will learn your brain to feel the sensation of pure touch and build up your libido. Don't do it too long, but don't come in 3 minutes either. You need to "rewire" your brain to normal penis stimuli, not 2D hardcore porn fetishes.
- Be careful when you finally get your libido back, it's really easy to slip up. If you really need a release, please MO without porn.
- Try to find a nice girl, one night stands may be too much pressure, and the performance anxiety (and alcohol) will work against you. A failure in bed can easily result in a relapse.
- A clear sign of libido getting back, at least for me and I have seen many other write it as well, is that your flaccid size is starting to grow and morning wood is coming back regularly. You will start to feel hornier.
- Sometimes a slow masturbating session to the touch can pull you out of a long flatline. It has happened to me many many times, and may be beneficial. But it's a double edged sword, because if you MO too many times after restoring libido, it may pull you back into flatline.
At last: Every person is different, but this has worked for me before and I will conquer this shit again.
I will no longer be the Masturbator & Commander