Age 24 - PMO almost destroyed my life. Now - So much happier & healthier
tl;dr - PMO almost destroyed my life.... discovered NoFap... drastically changed things... got happier :D... NoFap challenge works I swear. 100 days baby!
Hi non-fapping community I reached a 3 month milestone with the help of all your inspirational posts on this sub. It was a privilege to read ya'll stories and it seems like most of you had a similar upbringing like me.
I'm a 24yr old M and I've been exposed to pornography at a very young age. Exposure to porn as a child was probably the most destructive force to my young developing brain. Started to masturbate since I was 12 years old. Throughout my adolescent life I chronically masturbated. There were even times I would masturbate 3 times in a day and made my penis hurt.
My Physiological Symptoms of PMO:
- Hormonal imbalance. It really does mess up your hormones I lost alot of hair masturbating 100% causes balding.
- Estrogen levels too high for a male I developed gynecomastia. My nipples look too feminine and puffy.
- Acne all over my back and face.
- Damage to my urethra made urinating difficult. I remember in my early teens how easy it was to pee in the toilet. Now my stream is not steady and I would pee on the bathroom floor many times it was difficult to aim properly.
- My dick is darker than than rest of my body!! I think all that friction from my million hand strokes made my dick dark.... it looks weird yo.
I learned a lot about how ejaculating affects the body. We are animals we cant forget what we are!! we are mammals!!!. Blowing your load multiple times sends a false message to our bodies that we are reproducing at a high clip. So then we get weaker and less alpha male because we dont need to attracting mates anymore since we are already mating our hand. By ruling masturbating as not an option it gives us the drive to measure up to the competition to snap a female.
I've endured my darkest times where I felt depressed and couldn't even look in the mirror to see the man I've become. I would literally take shits and brush my teeth in the dark because I didn't want to see my face. Even had brief thoughts of suicide at some points. My mother told me many times that "you look sick" and she was right, I didn't look healthy at all. For as long as I can remember I was always shy and had anxiety issues. Talking to the opposite sex was always difficult. Had many stretches of unemployment and I'll I did was play video games, smoke weed, and watch porno before sleeping. A never ending cycle. I didn't make much friends because of PMO. I also only had sex with one girl in my entire life.
Then.... I got a new job and got back into an exercise routine which kept me busy, too occupied to think of masturbating for around 2 weeks. I was lucky to accidentally find this sub NoFap during the time I stopped masturbating. The timing was perfect. Without discovering Nofap I would have surely ended my streak, so I kept it going. The badge counter is super useful to track my progress and it made me proud as the number keeps stacking.
SO WUT CHANGED?
My emotions and mood took a good 180 turn. I become much more happier and appreciative of what I have. I'm no longer feeling depressed. My friends can sense the positive change in me and they seem to want to hang out with me more, they call me more, txt me more, and enjoy my presence. My energy levels are without a doubt better. I can function on 5 hrs of sleep. My social anxiety lowered alot. I gained more confidence. I deleted instagram and facebook. I am motivated to improve myself one step at a time.
During my 3 month streak I made drastic improvements for my health. Hair loss seemed to stop and the acne on my back is clearing up. I try to hit the gym 5 times a week and got my strength training routine on lock, this is the biggest and strongest I've ever been. I'm 5'7" and currently weigh a little over 220 pounds and I'm still gaining weight every month that passes, in the last 3 months I gained 30 pounds.
My diet has also been much healthier, I get my daily vegetables in look up "green smoothies". I puree my vegetables in a blender and chug it down in one shot. Much more easier than chewing.
Yoooooooooooooo I quit smoking for 30 days!!! (including weed). For 10 years I smoked cigarettes and marijuana and now I stopped that garbage. The reason why I smoked weed was to get high and escape reality. Weed made life better, but now I feel happy naturally without the use of drugs. I'm trying to not ingest drugs of any kind including alcohol, caffeine, pharmaceuticals.
Once in a while I drink some sort of beverage that has caffeine like an iced cappuccino or cola but I don't drink coffee because you can get dependent on it. I was addicted to playing videogames my whole life I mean I played 2000 hours of DOTA 2. Now I dont even have to urge to play video games there are even days where I dont play at all for the whole day.
Still Have to Get Better
Seminal retention was the easy part but I still slip up and watch a porno maybe once in a week but there have been some weeks when I didn't watch any porn at all. It is hard to completely avoid porno forever because all it takes is a click and you're there. I never ended up edging watching porn but still It gave me erections. Erections should only happen when a real woman is in front of you.
Also I have to stop fantasizing!!! urghhh. Fantasizing is even harder to avoid than porn!!. geez. Maybe meditating will help me I've never tried it. I still had no luck with girls yet but its a process. I know a girl will accept me in her life once I evolve into the best version of myself. I just got to be patient I don't care if It takes year I will get a partner when the time comes. This one particular girl I'm attracted to and she seems to enjoy my company. I am motivated to become successful and show her that I got what it takes. Rushing will only lead to rejections. I will wait till the time is right.
Thank you to all the contributors of this sub. It made me feel better when ever I read your inspirational posts, or when I can offer encouragement and advice to the nofap novices. This sub has been a godsend. I'll continue fight the addiction for my fellow fapstronauts. My whole life is ahead of me now, many good years to live without PMO.
I'm sticking with the program. There is still so much to achieve without porno interfering with my life. What keeps me going is my desire for happiness, the void that needs to be filled.
LINK - Made it to 7 months today!