Age 25 - From 0 to 100. The rebirth!
From zero to 100. Hi every1, I’m Aiyuris, a 25 years old guy who lives in Italy. I discovered this community something like 10 months ago. For me now, it is like decades away from reality. But let’s start slow….
In the January of 2012 I decided to change my life, I was lonely, sad and close to a big depression, I was playing all day video games, convinced that, the video gamers life, and was the only way to keep myself away from the sad reality that I created. For not thinking about it. The only way to keep myself away from suffering, waiting for an external input to change myself…
OFC, I had really few close friend in that period, few people were my reality, and a lot of times, I had contacts with them only by playing online games or chatting. No real contact at all.
my sexual life was indeed zero, had no female friends, no people to help me find 1, and no idea how to interact with any girl at all….
I had no idea how to solve those problems, and I didn’t have the strength to do anything. Until 1 day, a friend of mine introduced me to a side of modern literature that for me was completely hidden in the shadows: The self-improvement world…
it was like a ray of light in the dark sky… something shifted… the forgotten faith and happiness that I had once started to come back. I started to read some books, and I regained faith and strength to believe in changing and improving myself. I started to have FAITH AGAIN!!!
So, from January to the summer, I started to give myself, AT LAST 3 HOURS per day of reading and watching materials online about SELF IMPROVEMENT (really a lot of work in this section), SOCIAL DYNAMICS and PSYCHOLOGY OF DATES AND PEOPLE. I was keeping ofc a calendar, of the progress, so I could see if 1 day I had done few hours or jumped totally, so I could regain the hours in another day.
The months passed by, and I kept getting all fired up, and started to believe in myself more and more, day by day. This increased dramatically my self-confidence, my happiness and my social life.
I was happy anyway, from January I had done a lot of progress, knew a lot of new people. The machine was moving in the good direction.
Something was still missing, something that could give me the last PUSH to the COMPLETE change!!! And… I had no idea what it was.
I was chronically attached to porn and masturbation; I realized by myself that this was a huge issue, since it was making me all weird and not motivated. Then I did some research and went looking some information about the effect that it was making on our body, and what I found SHOCKED DEEPLY ME…
Every that is in this community and is reading those boards probably know everything that happens when you look at porn, or masturbate, so I won’t go in any detail of how the brain react and the body too, at those animal acts…
I realized then that I had TO STOP totally masturbation and PORN. It was start of June. I wanted to give a try and see the effects, as every1 here knows; it was a hell of run… nothing harder I ever did in my life until that day. I FAILED.
BUT I woke up, and tried and tried, I kept increasing my counter, day by day, then failed, then woke up again, etc. etc., until, I got a good streak and motivated myself to DO IT, I WANTED TO DO IT, I WANTED TO CHANGE MYSELF AND ALL OF YOU WANT!!!!
I realized that after the first week, I didn’t want to masturbate anymore, BUT my urge to look at porn was still really HIGH, I can tell, INSANE. This was the biggest problem for me, stop looking at those horrific shows, I was still virgin in that period, so I had no idea of how the real sex tasted, so I kept helping myself looking at that stuff, so when I was going to have sex for the first time, I was ready… NOTHING MORE WRONG, SILLY ME….
I had really hard times trying to stop, but with a lot of strong motivation and the help of this big community I stopped looking at it. I even installed k9 protection filter, as password: “Don’t do it!” so I had to type even that I was an idiot.
After august, I still was struggling in complete the challenge, and fix myself in that part of my life. I was still looking at porn, torturing myself, but was not masturbating. I was still weird sometimes around people, and not feeling good talking with them. So this porn stuff had to stop, or nothing would change.
After august, the 30th I completely decided to stop looking at porn, and masturbating, and this I where my last counter started, I decided to have a life without it, so I could focus more on reality.
From then, I started to see a girl; the evolution of the story is really complicated, a lot of trouble and bad things happened in those periods between her and me, but I HOLD THE SITUATION.
I TRULY TELL YOU, I REALLY COUDN'T HAVE DONE ANYTHING OF WHAT I DID TO KEEP THE RELATIONSHIP ON IF I WAS MY OLD SELF, AWKWARD, INSECURE AND WEIRD.
I did sex with this girl for the first time, since then, a shit loads of trouble with her, but I hold myself to the ground, I was STEEL, I’M STEEL, nothing could move me.
I’m totally sure that a normal guy, without the super power of believing on himself and the insane power that stopping masturbating and porn could give you, would have FALLEN apart that relationship.
Now I’m happily in relationship with her, and since I had a empty little house I took the opportunity to live there with her, and since January we are living together happily and I’ll work everything to keep it as it is now!
What I wanted to tell you is: Believing in yourself, working in yourself, it’s the only way to increase the happiness in your life, there is no other way. YOU MUST DO IT. I DID IT, AND I’M STILL DOING. And the results are there. DO NOT DISCOURAGE FROM FAILING. KEEP THE GOAL in mind where there are hard times. YOU CAN DO IT, AS I DID IT. REBIRTH GUYS. YOU CAN!!!!
This community and the people here together with my motivation, faith and mind strength have helped me rebirth, you can do the same.
Good luck and help the community always, since there always be some1 that needs your help, spread the words of this world. Every1 must know. I thank again myself to have demonstrated that I can do it, and I deserve it. You all deserve the best situation that you can imagine. We are a power, nothing can stop us.
Good luck to you all.
YES WE CAN!!!!
See you all, Aiyuris.