Age 25 - 185 days: You can kiss your sexual dysfunctions goodbye
It's hard to believe It's already been 6 months. What started as a quest to satisfy my now, ex-gf, had turned into a new foundation for a lifestyle worth living. Nofap, is not a magic pill. It will not 'give' you any special powers or abilities. However, it is an experience that changes who you are, starting with the mind and continuing throughout the body. It rewires everything from how you become aroused to how you treat temptation and self-control.
Like a muscle waiting to be worked, your mind is a powerful thing. It has the ability to dictate your willpower, ability to focus under stress, how your body reacts to sexual stimulus, and more. With nofap, you begin to realize how much of your life is not under your own control, but controlled by how you feel. We tend to seek comfort over discomfort, even at the expense of growth and new experience.
When I first started Nofap, I was looking to increase my libido to keep up with my GF (at the time). I was not able to have sex much more than once or twice a week. I looked forward to watching porn as it fed my infatuation for women with big tits. It was a mental masturbation that I craved. It became more difficult to get hard-ons for my petite A-cupped cutie of a woman, despite the rest of her body being perfect in my eyes. When I began this journey in January, I encountered many failed attempts. Once I became single, I PMO'd for my last time, I had finally had enough.
I have experienced many ups and downs. Flatlines and Wetdreams being some of the most mystifying. I had wetdreams weekly, at random. I saw this as my body trying to continue it's previous ejaculation patterns of 1-3x / week. Over time the occurrences became less frequent. After about 8 weeks, my sexual craving had come to a calming stand still. Flat line was my fear. I was worried that My libido had dropped even lower. It wasn't until I had my first sexual encounter (8-10 weeks from start) that I realized I was more sexually charged than ever, and have yet to experience ED since.
I was able to fuck for 6 hours with short breaks every 60 minutes or so. Luckily I had been practicing kegels for 10+ minutes a day, 3x a week. Reading books on tantra had also helped rewire my mind's depiction of what sex is really about. By the time I had my first sex session since my breakup my fear of PE had been abolished! There were several reasons for this:
- My sexual focus had been reoriented from mental to physical/emotional- meaning, instead of getting aroused at the sight of big tits, I was aroused by the ways my woman would communicate her pleasure. In other words, I was focused on HER pleasure, and almost forgetful about my own. Granted, I felt great, but watching her enjoy herself was so much more enjoyable than anything I was feeling. I believe this to be the masculine/feminine rolls at their finest. It was simply captivating.
- I had developed the capability of literally stopping orgasms. After about an hour or so of sex, If I felt the urge to cum, I was able to squeeze my PC muscle so tight, It would literally bring and orgasm to a halt, or maybe just release a couple drops. AWESOME!
It's fascinating. What I had interpreted as 'flatlines' was actually a redirection of energy. As if my body was giving up on sending energy to sexual craving and redirecting it toward other things I felt were more relevant in the moment. I was able to focus on my studies, art, and diet with much higher intensity and determination.
When It came time for sex, I would be sexually charged by touch rather than a mental movie playing or mental antisipation. In fact, at this point mental sex movies are almost non-existent. Women are less intimidating because on some level I stopped viewing them as unattainable sex-objects and more like people- sisters, friends, mothers and lovers. I am able to speak with a woman and became aroused by her emotional expression rather than solely on her physique. Rest assured, I still get a jolt from how gorgeous they look, but there is no longer a perception that they are outside of reality, as they were in my world of internet porn. Porn made them a purely physical object that was outside of my personal entitlement, as are ferrari's, rolex's, yachts, etc. You'll never find me in a ferrari dealership, and you'd never find my flirting up a supermodel in starbucks. The fact that I could only view them via computer screen was building block to the version of reality that they are not 'real'-the idea that these things can only be found in movies, or video games.
Since my experience with nofap, I've come to realize that life is what make it, but only if you choose to create it. If you are constantly seeking comfort, you'll live a life of mediocrity, likely to be full of rich-tasting foods, sexual stimulation (from yourself), and mental masturbation (from your tv). What does that mean? you work, you get fat on the couch, and sex is something you hope happens, while you hopeless fall in love with every semi-attractive girl you come in contact with.
Since I've started nofap, I realized what it means to be dedicated. To overcome disabilities through practice and willpower, by breaking through discomfort and internalizing what it right by YOUR OWN STANDARDS, not the ones dictated to you by society. With this understanding, I've developed a lifestyle that revolves around health, fitness, sports, knowledge, art, and social success. All these things take blood, sweat, and tears, but the rewards are well worth reaping. For once life is finally worth every moment, but I'm not here to say that any of it was easy.
Nofap is a part of an awesome lifestyle. It provides a much richer experience than jerking it to midget porn ever could. You can kiss your sexual dysfunctions goodbye, although diet, exercise (kegels), and sexual habits all play their role. Find the depth in sex, and you'll find the depth in women. With an attitude of indifference and abundance real women will be able to flow through you life with plenty of pleasure to be had along the way (for both parties).
The nofap journey is an unpredictable one. It has it's rough patches, and fear of PE, ED, flatlines, and wetdreams, are all part of the process. TRUST in yourself. Trust in your nature, and understand when you remove the man-made poisons that are disrupting your natural experience of sex, your entire sexual experience will be revolutionized and reverted back to it's purest of essence.
Goodluck nofappers, a fulfilling life awaits you all.
TLDR: been around the block with nofap. It's good shit. Ask me anything!
BACKGROUND: 24yo male:
When I started attempting nofap in feb, I was having a lot of difficulty breaking 7 days. At the time I had a gf, who needed sex 2-4x a week. It was incredibly difficult to control my sexual desire during the remainder of the relationship. Every time I had sex, it reinforced all past conceptions of sex, including the ones i've picked up from my porn viewing and social media in general. After each ejaculation, I experienced these sexual 'hangovers'. During those hangovers, I would lose motivational drive, focus, energy, and have spikes of high sexual desire. This made my workdays (often spent in an office along for several consecutive days) very difficult.
Nofap was something I wanted to do for a couple years now, but hadn't taken seriously, until I decided to stop letting my life be dictated to me by my environment and take control of what's my rightfully mine.
Shortly after I began this last attempt at nofap, I also began a strict diet, measuring all my calories, and regulating fat/carb/protein intake. I began going to the gym 3x a week, and following a specific regulated workout program.
Once these new endeavors were incorporated into my lifestyle, It free'd up willpower for more interesting hobbies, reading/video blog/guitar/'pickup' etc.
Very difficult at first, my nights alone were a challenge. I was more anxious than normal, as if I drank too much caffeine. Likewise, sleep was difficult, and I couldn't stop thinking about sex. PMO was previously my outlet for this energy build-up that I simply was not use to. I was addicted to HUGE BOOBs. It caused a lack of libido/arousal with my tiny gf who had very small boobs, which lead to some ED experiences.
Besides the ED I've had many experiences with PE as well. More so than ED.
After 4 weeks, sexual urges began to shift into high-energetic focus. It became fuel for my new motivations. This lack of sexual indulging lead me to see the value of self-discipline, which inspired me to start a strict diet/workout routine, as suggested by napoleon hill. My life without porn leaves me with more time to do things, more mental energy for focus, and the dissipation of lust. There has always been a thin wall between me and women, and I feel that porn really emphasizes that into my subconscious. Porn is very impersonal, and an impersonal encounter with a live female is....well...probably not going to last long. When porn was cut out, I stopped simply lusting and became much more proactive about meeting women. I won't say that nofap gave me courage/confidence, but it definitely helped mental clarity, focus, and the loss of lust. I began to talk to people more in general, and along with that came meeting many new and attractive women.
NOFAP + NO SEX::
That lack of orgasm in my life was very interesting. It was a contributor to all the mental clarity and physical centeredness. At first, I had wet dreams weekly. After about 6-8 weeks, the wet dreams stopped. Each day after a wet dream I felt mentally scattered, horny, and had a loss of motivation. This was one thing I've noticed a while before nofap and lead me to look into full-body orgasm without ejaculations as taught by tantric and Taoist cultures. With this, I knew consistent kegels were necessary. Luckily, I've been doing them consistently to rid my life of PE forever.
FIRST SEXUAL ENCOUNTER AFTER AT LEAST 8 WEEKS OF NOSEX/NOFAP/&KEGELS:
First time I'd had sex since my relationship had ended was about 70 days into nofap, 56 days of no sex, and 6-8 weeks of kegels every other day for 10-20mins.
Long story short, had sex 4 times. first session lasting 1 hour, the next 3 sessions lasting about 30mins each, all spanned over 3 hours. I came after the first hour, but stopped the ejaculation mid-flow, and maintained a boner for the next 2 hours. It was insane. I was blown away, as was my lady friend.
While I've been away from PMO and SEX, I decided to read a couple books on tantric sex. This has helped rewire the sexual experience in my head, and take on a new perspective of how sex should be, what it should look like, and most importantly what it should FEEL like. This new mindset paired with kegel dedication was explosive and highly recommended.
The process of the reset is a tricky one when observing any short period of it. However, when you see the process as a whole it is quite simple to me. It is the body's way of taking over what your brain had fucked up. All this exposure to porn and instant-gratifying masturbation had conditioned my body correlate sexual desire w/ visual & mental stimulation. When in fact, GOOD SEX, is about feeling and has nothing to do with these mental/visual images. When you starve yourself of this level of fantasy, your body freaks out. it goes through stages of weird/unpredictable behaviors. Once it reunites with its natural way of being, all is how it should be: In life, in the world, in the bedroom.
Nofap is not a magic pill. It will not solve all your problems. However, paired with a few healthy-habits, it provides an excellent foundation to a life of your own design. Nothing is more fulfilling then the feeling you get when your actually thriving and not just surviving.
Stick in there nofapstronauts. This goes beyond what lead you here. It is truly an endeavor worth succeeding in.
Note: it's hard to include everything that has taken place over the last 3 months, so feel free to ask any questions in regards to women (especially their responses to nofap, nonejaculatory sex, etc) , pe, ed, hangovers, flatlines, kegels, wet dreams, lifestyle, libido changes, meditation, tantra, etc