I started pmo'ing from early high school days. Started with still pics, graduated to video. I fell victim to the same problem as others, started with normal and moved on to more hardcore videos. It was to the point that "normal" porn seemed boring. I would usually PMO about once daily, sometimes twice but rarely. Then everything went bad.
I'm currently 25 and have what I believe to be porn enduced Ed. I can't get fully hard to save my life. It became obvious to me when I met a girl. My addiction to porn led me to a bdsm website where you could meet others and I met a girl on there. I say girl but she was in her late 30's. She wanted to meet only after a day or two of talking and I agreed. The problem? I was a virgin and scared to death. We met up in a parking lot and before we even left she had given me fellatio (I'm trying to use medical terms do that I don't trigger anyone).
Over the course of the next few months we met up quite a bit. She would always perform fellatio, usually multiple times, and allow me to do things to her too (I'd give details but I don't want to trigger myself so ill pass). After a few times together we decided to have sex. I put a condom on and went limp instantly. I was bothered but figured it was just nerves. We continued to meet up and try but each time I failed. She was very understanding and never made me feel bad.
Over the next few months we would meet and I would have problems getting hard even when not trying to have sex. Even alone I couldn't get fully hard. When I pmo'ed it was always about 70% hard. With her it would be about 80-90%. Eventually we quit meeting, not related to my Ed though
Fast forward a couple months. I'm still pmo'ing daily and I meet a new girl. She's amazing and everything I want. We grow really close and a month later we start to get intimate. We decide to have sex one night and I'm only about 50% hard and think "oh boy, here we go again". We eventually try again and same result and she starts to think its her. I then spent the next month looking at every possible reason. I took handfuls of supplements, nothing. Went to the doctor, he tells me I'm completely healthy, gives me Viagra samples and sends me to a urologist. Urologist looks at me, tells me I'm fine and gives me more samples. I know their doctors but it just seemed weird a 25 year old who's completely healthy can't get hard.
I do some research online and find yourbrainonporn and it all makes sense. I spent 10+ years watching and mo'ing to porn and when I get with a real girl it's not the same and I can't get hard. It's so obvious to me. I decide that day to quit pmo'ing completely and decided not to O at all.
Here's where things get complicated. I still have my gf and she wants to be intimate. On day 15 we started messing around and she did things and I got off. I wasn't hard at all until she started using her mouth and by that time it took less than 30 seconds because it has been so long since I got off. The next day I take some Viagra and we attempt to have sex. I was rock hard but came before we could try. She goes to university and I don't see her except on weekends so the next 5 days we do nothing. And while she's away, I don't pmo at all. Didn't mo at all. Never even crossed my mind
The next weekend, on day 20, we had sex. I took Viagra again and lasted less than 2 minutes. It sucked but it happened at least. Over the next few days I flatlined but never once looked at porn or though of MO'ing.
Now what I need help with:
My erections still aren't 100% but they have improved a lot since I started. I get morning wood now and random ones as well on days I'm not flatlining. I'd saying they range from 70-90%. The pills bring it to 100% but I don't want to use them. I hate having to plan sex. It's not enjoyable. I want to make it to 100% on my own.
What I need advise on is what to do. I have no desire whatsoever to watch or MO to porn. Matter of fact I don't even want to MO at all. It feels good that I've never even had an urge during these 23 days. The problem is Im still not getting fully hard and I have a gf that I want to enjoy. My question is what should I do? I don't feel like messing around with her is setting me back at all. In fact it's building my confidence up a lot. But should I keep using the pills while I'm rebooting or just go without and try even though ill probably fail
Another problem I have is about MO'ing. I really think I could MO without fantasy or porn at this point and I would like to last a little longer than 1 minute in bed. Do you think it would be a bad idea to MO on the same day I see her just so I can last longer and avoid MO every other day? I really think I'm at the point where that would be possible and wouldn't bother me, otherwise I wouldn't try.
Or should I avoid everything and keep rebooting and hope I get to 100% erection? If messing around with my gf wasn't such a confidence booster I wouldn't care to wait but I believe it's helping. My original plan was continue to mess around using the pills until I run out. My guess is that will put me at around 60 days no PMO and I've heard people having success at that range. But I would rather have the opinion of others who are on this journey too. I know my situation is a little different bc there is a possibility of sex but I'm sure others can help me.
February 27, 2013
LINK TO JOURNAL - My Journey to Fix Myself (100+ day Successful Reboot, No More PIED!)
BY - Mracetoday
SUCCESS STORY - Reboot Success Story (100+ Days, PIED sufferer)
June 04, 2013
My name is mracetoday and I am a porn addict and sufferer of porn induced erectile dysfunction.
I know that sounds like some AA line but it's true. While what you are about to read seems positive, I realize this is not something that I can consider "finished" or "complete". This is an ongoing journey and I may never fully recover.
My story is like a like of others here. If you want specifics try ready my journal (link is in my sig) but basically I started porn in my early teens and it got more and more extreme and frequent as I went through my teens. My first sexual encounters didn't occur until my mid 20's and because of my porn use I couldn't stay hard. It was the most embarrassing thing of my life to have a naked girl in front of me wanting to have sex and I'm sitting there with a completely limp dick at age 23.
I went to several doctors who told me I was fine and have me ED pills to try. They worked but I hated using them because I had to plan sex. After feeling more and more depressed about my situation I started searching the web looking for answers and found YBOP. After reading through everything I realized there was a good chance my problems were porn related and decided to go through a reboot.
I had a steady girlfriend at the start of my reboot and we were beginning to be intimate. Not wanting to say anything about what I was suffering (although we had tried to have sex and couldn't because I couldn't stay hard) I just decided to allow whatever happened between us to happen. I read that rewiring could help speed up the process so I didn't feel like it wa a big issue as long as the only time I was getting off was with her.
Over the first 60 days I only got off a few times and only MO'd once. Not once did I look at porn. By the end of the reboot period I was able to get and maintain an erection long enough for sex but it still wasn't exactly what I wanted as far as consistency so I decided to continue with my reboot.
Around the 90 day mark my gf and I split. It was a really bad breakup and mentally I was destroyed. I was devastated and turned to porn to fill that void. After going almost 90 days I fell back into PMO and almost ruined all the progress I had made to that point. Signs of PIED returned and I began to panic but I was such a mess I didn't know what to do.
Around day 100 I decided that I needed another reboot. This time it was more about gaining back my mental clarity and staying away from porn and PMO. Unfortunately (or luckily depending on how you look at it) I ended up meeting another girl and we became very close quickly and intimacy followed soon after. I realized that porn was hurting me again and gave it up again and focused on her.
After almost a month past my initial 90 day reboot I'm proud to say that I've been having a healthy sex life and I'm able to get 100% erections and maintain through sex. Considering at Day 1 I wasn't able to get hard at all, alone or with a girl, I'm so happy that the reboot process has helped me to gain myself back. I feel like I should and I feel like a man again. My life has completely changed for the better and I haven't been this happy in a long, long time.
For those of you who are just starting or wondering if this works, I'm living proof it does. I remember when I first started here I would read success stories and think "this seems too good to be true" or "this seems like it's going to take forever". Yes, it is hard work and yes, it might take a while but it's soooooooo worth it. Your life will be so much better and you will feel the benefits. Isn't giving up 90 days worth having a healthy sex life?
For those who are already in reboot and doubt is creeping in (it does with everyone, myself included) keep going. You're almost there and there is light at the end of the tunnel. Stick with it and come here for support. We're all in this together. Porn is ruining all of our lives and we need to stick together to make sure that doesn't happen.
If you have any questions feel free to ask and ill try to answer and check our my journal for a more detailed summary and to see what was going through my head during the reboot (I still update periodically).
Above all else, never quit...
June 12, 2013,
Here's my theory on the erection problems:
You have abstained for so long without stimulation that your body is "forgetting" what it's like to be turned on. That's what you want because it balances itself out and stops the dopamine hits that it usually gets from porn.
I had trouble getting hard while MO'ing. I still do. It's harder now to turn myself on. But who cares? The main issue is getting turned on by woman. And guess what, your body is naturally wired to do that. So when you are going through reboot you are bringing it back to its natural state. You will get turned on by women. Your body is designed to do that. I still struggle to get myself to 100% erection on my own but one touch from my gf and I'm ready to go.
If you can't get hard, don't worry about it. That just means you need some more time. The fact that you are getting hard in your sleep is a great sign. But you can't put everything on how hard you are. Base things in how enjoyable they are. Don't think "how hard is my dick right now, I hope I don't lose this, I hope she's enjoying this..." Etc. Just go have fun.
This morning I was messing around with my gf. We had sex last night and started to again this morning but my body had just had enough and couldn't handle it so I had to stop. She was upset that I lost my erection and didn't get off but I smiled and said "that just means ill get off better next time". Before my reboot I'd be completely embarrassed by that but now I know that it's just a minor problem and I just wasn't ready. It's no big deal.
The fact is even if we never had PIED before, there would be days where we couldn't perform like we think we can. It happens. And if it does, don't freak out. Your body needs some rest. I didn't sleep much last night and I was dehydrated too. The combination of the two made it hard for me to keep it up. If my confidence would've been low, that would've mentally been devastating. But I know next time she and I get together everything will be fine