Age 25 - (ED) Contact with women during reboot helped
Technically, I think I still have about 6 more days of this technique to go through... but I didn't follow the method to the letter. As a disclaimer I will say that I tried this originally in the summer of last year and lasted for about 60 days, I count my 90 day mark beginning on January 13th of this year (no relapses), keep that in mind during my story.
First some background, I'm a 25 year old male that had been suffering some ED for the past year and some. Prior to having these problems I could get hard easily with even the slightest touch, and could last forever during sex. That last part was the problem for me, as I had trouble achieving orgasm. My conclusion was that I had masturbated so much (1-2 times daily) and so rigorously to porn, that I had lost all sensitivity in my penis. My partner's could still get off, but when you're not enjoying sex it kind of gets to you... and you start to wonder what you're missing out on.
I found YBOP and decided to stop masturbating for a while. This is where things get complicated... I was hoping to simply restore sensitivity to my penis, but after about a week or two, my flatline completely destroyed my libido and what more my ability to get rock hard at will became a thing of the past. To be honest, I was pissed off at this and felt like YBOP had not only not given me back my sensitivity, it destroyed what little semblance to a sex life I had. [However, keep reading.]
I figured I had nowhere to go but all in at this point, so down the 90 day rabbit hole I went. Again, not a completely linear journey... but I feel like I should share some things that helped me through this difficult time:
- first and most importantly you need female interaction, especially if you're a younger guy or someone who doesn't have a lot of sexual experience this is crucial to the rewiring of your brain to real women. Going on dates with several women (some weren't even my type attraction wise) was a big first step, by around the half way mark I was dating a very attractive girl - contact included lots of kissing, cuddling, groping, and nakedness but nothing sexual (oral or any orgasm) which she was cool with.
- exercise and generally keeping busy, you feel like you have a lot more time when you're not constantly preoccupied with sex... so use that time instead of thinking about how long it will take before you get better, live life!
- be social, this is coming from an introvert... but hanging out with friends and taking an initiative to do things was part of my recovery, I felt much more happy to be around people and attribute that to no PMO
- I was seeing improvements almost immediately, though there were huge flatline slumps even near the end... don't get discouraged.
- For sensitivity issues, I'd recommend Vitamin E cream or oil on the penis, I'm not sure if this is what did it for me... but I've noticed an improvement.
- This one is important: know when it's time. If I had waited for sex until my day 90 it may have actually been detrimental to my recovery. To elaborate, if you abstain for a long enough period of time without any kind of sexual stimulation you may very well be doing just as much damage to your libido as PMO, by rewiring your brain to become asexual. I feel like simply waiting isn't the way to go, there needs to be more to your recovery. Just to be clear, if you're not MO'ing, are repressing all sexual thoughts and fantasies, and not having any physical contact with a female... this could be bad for your recovery.
In short, I feel like I'm in a better place than I was even before the ED. There is increased sensitivity, my erections and libido are back, and the best part? MO'ing hasn't messed up my progress as I've heard can happen on this board. I MO'ed prior to sex, and have been doing so since my recovery once a day (when I'm not having sex). The difference from last time? No PMO. I fantasize about real life scenarios and women, and focus on the sensory pleasure.
LINK - My 90 Day (ish) Experience
BY - Dirk25
INITIAL POST - New to the Board... in it for the long haul!
Hey guys, I just stumbled on this forum and just have to say that I am extremely grateful for its existence! I think having a supportive online community is going to help my recovery tremendously.
A little about my situation: I'm a 25 year old PMO addict that has attempted a reboot (without any knowledge from these types of forums) in August of last year... I was in a healthy relationship at that point, though my girlfriend found it incredibly damaging to her self esteem that I didn't want to have sex (and we've since parted ways). I made it to about 50 days before relapse and had been masturbating once a day with porn ever since, up until January 13th, when I discovered yourbrainonporn.
I've been a PMO addict since I was about 13, and since I've stopped I realize how messed up some of the porn I watched actually was. Things that wouldn't get normal people turned on, some videos weren't even 'porn' per se, just fully clothed beautiful women talking dirty. But I still craved them, and it was still part of my addiction. I'm currently getting out of what I think is my flatline phase, but very rarely does my penis become erect (and definitely not at 100% hardness).
My questions are... do those first 50 days I had still help with the reboot process? I definitely saw improvement but falling back into my old habits I feel like it was all for nothing. My second question is that I had morning wood the day before last (pretty hard) but didnt this morning... is this normal? Will morning wood come back to me regularly after a long enough period? I don't dare test myself out, and I'm hoping to use that as an indicator that I might be good to go.
And there it is, my introduction to the community. Hope I can of help to people as they come here looking for answers as well, because as I said... I'm in it for the long haul (15 days and counting).