Age 25 - Increased confidence, genuinely happier, more compassion for others
Praise God I made it. I'm 25, have had prior successful nofap streaks, but this is the second longest ever and a huge rebound for me. I am really, really happy I found this community because it has really kept me going . Anyway, I want to share some improvements, lessons learned/highlights, and new goals.
- No more of that guilty weight dragging me down. I feel so much lighter everywhere I go.
- Increased confidence. I legitimately believe in myself more and don't get intimidated as easily, and don't care as much about what others think of me. Also, just accomplishing something so difficult and so uncommon makes other challenges seem smaller than they used to.
- Got my dream internship for the summer, and had fantastic interviews.
- Went through a breakup, felt real emotions, went low for a while without fapping. This was a genuine human experience, not numbed away by fapping, and I am stronger from it.
- I'm genuinely happier. People smile more when they see me. I smile more when I see them. It's not forced, it just happens. There is a natural high that comes from being with friends that I now feel and did not before.
- Stronger desire to pursue a wife and willingness to commit.
- More love and compassion for others.
- Balance "nofap" with "yes healthy _______." I fap because I get discouraged, frustrated, impatient, and stressed and medicate through fapping. We all have brokenness we medicate with fapping and other things and need to not just stop fapping but fix whatever is wrong. For me, meditating on scripture and praying on behalf of others helped to purify my thoughts and mindset and reset some thought patterns. For you it may be different, but find out what's spiritually out of wack and find a way to replace the negative with positive. If you don't do this, my experience was, instead of fapping, I would find other unhealthy things to do to medicate my brokenness, so really make sure you find healing for whatever's wrong so you don't end up sweeping your dirt under a different rug.
“Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad; for a tree is known by its fruit.... A good man produces good things from his storeroom of good, and an evil man produces evil things from his storeroom of evil."~Mat.12
- Keep upping the ante. Early on I was willing to edge/fantasize but realized that would sabotage my efforts, so I adjusted my goals to month 1 - no masturbating/porn; month 2 - no edging/touching myself; month 3 - no fantasizing. Again, step 1 of purifying my mind was the key to all of these. It all starts in your mind and your spirit so find some way to clean those out. You don't ever want to get complacent.
- Stay plugged into these communities. Many time I wanted to relapse from my usual triggers but was so strengthened by knowing how many others were running this race. It was also so encouraging to see so many stories of people consistently agreeing about the bad effects of PMO and counteracting the lies we trick ourselves into believing, and extolling the benefits of nofap.
- Having a counter/tracking system is super helpful. I made a chains.cc account which I highly recommend. Looking at that thing every day is such a good reminder. Someone else had a bowl of marbles where he transfers one into a jar every day which I think is an awesome system too.
- Apply myself to all my work. I procrastinate, do so-so work just to get it done, and am not nearly at my potential. This needs to end; I have real goals in life that I can accomplish and I need to be able to wake up in the morning and work hard to get them.
- Stay organized. Keep my house, car, notebooks, computer clean and organized. Maintain a todo list and keep my gcal updated.
- Get physically in shape. A huge lesson I learned was that physical exercises strengthens the spirit and helps so much with everything, including nofap. Flexing your willpower to deny the body it's comfort and rest when it's begging you for it makes you so much stronger. I used to competitively swim and plan on getting back in the pool and pushing myself, not just to get in shape physically, but to strengthen my warrior spirit.
Keep on fapstronauts. Those of you who are a few months away, it is so worth it to get this far. 5 minutes of dissatisfaction is nowhere near the pleasure of making it this far. This is only the beginning. To close, here is probably my favorite passage in the bible and one of the key parts of my strategy.
Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of YHWH, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. ~Psalm 1