Age 25 - Took the initiative, threw a house party...and got laid!
Well I’ve made it to day 90 and I just wanted to share a few thoughts and explain my journey in a bit more depth to hopefully motivate others in the same way success stories did me on my way to get to 90 days.
Initially it had not been easy but I can say it has paid off and the effort is totally worth it. For me Its not so much the 90 days that is the main thing but the journey and transformations you go through to kick what has been for me as Im sure it has been for a fair few others nearly a lifetime issue that holds you back in all the wrong ways.
Where I was: Just to give you some background, I’m 25 and had been PMO’ing probs from around 11 if not younger and it gradually escalated to becoming more frequent and more extreme to the point where I had enough. I don’t want to go into too much details as I want to avoid any possible triggers in this post and these factors are not really that important no me more. I have been lucky enough not to have experience ED but have been victim to DE at times. I initially started breaking the pattern by only wanking once a week. But then I joined this community about five months ago as a result of relapsing after a period of noPMO for four weeks. The relapse pissed me off greatly that the first thing I did was get an online accountability buddy from here. I would recommend anyone to get an accountability buddy. Mine has been great, it’s good to share thoughts and motivate one another especially if they’re from the same country, roughly the same age group and have similar motivations/targets to you.
What Happened: The first couple of weeks were challenging with porn still fresh in the mind and the temptation to give in always being an easy option. For me it was especially the worst after drinking on weekends and being hungover and binging, but will power and determination got me through though first weeks. I think I had experienced flatlines within the first 2-3 weeks but this gradually faded. I would have the occasional wet dream, which for me was a first, these cant be helped so I just ignored these. When I was able to progress beyond my previous best of four weeks where everyday after that was new progress and a new record, I got to a point where the urge to keep going with noPMO was greater than the urge to relapse and this was a good motivating factor.
I referenced YBOP several times a week for maybe 10-15 minutes. This site is packed full of useful information on a range of interesting topics but further to that, I think it helps you keep grounded on your path as well as reinforcing why you are doing this. There are too many threads to mention that have helped me, I would mention the Noarousal method having helped significantly. I was very sceptical about this method and to an extent still am. But what it does teach you is further self control and for me it created an awareness to the extent you ogle women in a sexual/fantasising manner as well as other sexual cues in your environment. I feel the more you actively tune yourself away from these triggers the less likely you are going to relapse. I also began and continue to write thoughts in a written journal for myself terms tracking my own progress as well as other areas in my life which is a great way to reference and see the progress you make over time.
As the weeks progressed further I did not experience ‘superpowers’ like every girl in sight checking you out or benching stupid amounts. But what I did notice is that I was more incentivised to take action on tasks and goals I had set previously but never really acted upon before or trying out new things in general. I’ve been into self development for awhile as I feel anything that can better yourself is worth acting on and this challenge has definitely been part of it (Currently listening to ‘The Slight Edge’ as recommended by Underdog and its been brilliant so far and would urge anyone to read/listen to it) As a result I’m working out much more regularly at the gym, taking Kung-Fu lessons, learning music production, cooking, learning French, drawing to name a few. I had also been going through a dry spell with girls for nearly a year and with no girlfriend, noPMO or MO’ing this was made even tougher. So I took initiative and even threw a house party round mine (something I never really dared of doing before) which was awesome plus I got laid. I cant emphasise enough how important the rewiring process is.
Where I am going: I began to see real progress towards the final weeks where I really felt I had a control over this. I also felt more aligned with who I wanted to be without that seediness of PMO being involved in my routine. From not PMO’ing I believe you will have gained a discipline in your life that can easily be transferred to other areas. And the additional motivation and energy should help stop procrastination and hopefully make you a more productive, happy and well-rounded person.
I’m at the point where porn serves me no purpose other than ridding me of my life force and making me less than I deserve to be. I’m at day 90 now but I could easily still be susceptible to relapsing after these days. I still do get tempted at times but Ive gone way too far to turn back now. Reaching 90 days isn’t necessary the goal as many others have said but just a stepping stone. The long term goal for me is noPMO for life. I had initially said noPMO for life and with no target in mind and I ended up relapsing after the four weeks. I think its good to have realistic but challenging expectations to reach for and obviously this will vary person to person. Im going to aim to go for another 90 days now and see how that goes. Chains.cc app is also quite good to see your progress within noPMO and developing other habits also. Im currently quite happy with the way things have gone so far and don’t intend to stop any time soon.
I feel my life getting more balanced in different areas, Im more productive with my time and for now things are going better than what were compared to when I was PMO’ing I feel. Its really hard to say how much noPMO has had an effect on these improvements but I believe that it can play a significant part both directly and indirectly.
I know this is one long ass post but I say all these things not only because I’m proud to have made it this far, but I want others who are on this path to rid themselves of PMO and hopefully better yourself in the process the same way I have managed to and truly start living in a way you should be without the burden of PMO in your life.
Cheers and good luck,