I have been hesitant to write this for few days now because my experience doesn’t fit with what a lot of people on here report but after much consternation I figured an alternative perspective might be valuable at least to a few. Sorry, this is a little long-winded.
Like many people on here I deal with serious depression and crippling social anxiety. These were the main driving forces that pushed me to take nofap seriously. I believe it was also why I was more successful than doing it to improve my chances with girls. It seems like the people who make the most gains on here are doing for themselves first and foremost. This makes sense to me as internal motivators can be more consistent than the outside world which we have little if any control over.
There was always this sense that I knew I could be successful with nofap and that it would be like flipping a light switch. My previous serious effort only got me to the end of two weeks. Now, I can’t even imagine going back to it. My approach was very unorthodox though, which is why I have so much trepidation with sharing this. I do not wish to offend with relaying this but if so I apologize in advance.
So instead of trying to become a more positive person to fight my depression and addiction to PMO I decided to face it head-on and embrace my negative side (the Shadow archetype as Carl Young talks about). I now see that depression has unveiled the world for what it truly is, behind the facade of false marketing. I can see the rampant sexual degeneracy, the narcissism and arrogance, hyper consumerism and more; while it is a bitter pill to swallow I was inevitably grateful for getting closer to viewing an objective reality (if you believe in such a thing). I am the type of person who, if in a prison with vr goggles portraying a beautiful island resort, would rather rip them off and deal with suffering face-to-face. Though I try hard not to judge those who leave the goggles on or see myself as above them in anyway. That is an issue I see on this sub sometimes, and it is understandable to a degree. You make a change and see yourself as detached from society and thus more ‘evolved’. Try not to let it get to your head as that would just be another form of illusion.
On the topic of this sub, let’s talk about SuperPowers. At best, they will be extreme hyperbole for most. Unless you have very severe PMO addiction you might notice them, but even then what is really happening is you are returning to baseline-normal and only feel like a million bucks because you were so many standard deviations away from normal that you feel amazing. I’m not here to deny you that feeling of accomplishment. Yet, at the same time I don’t want to have other beginners become discouraged when they don’t see the same changes take place in themselves.
People here are right to say Nofap is just one piece of the puzzle. You really need to be improving in other ways as well to get the benefits. I stopped drinking and doing drugs entirely and even though I really didn’t have a problem with them in the first place, I still noticed a substantive change. Others have mentioned cold showers, and unlike superpowers this is not just a meme. Well, maybe it is a meme but a very good one. It doesn’t just help fight urges but clears brain fog right the heck up. I don’t even need caffeine anymore. Meditation and Exercise are also key, and admittedly where I have been the worse at practicing. This is probably why I am still so depressed and angry all the time. You need an outlet, it really is so critical to growth. If you have shit diet like me at least try to take a multivitamin, I can also recommend fish oil and b-complex as those help with mood and energy too. Others talk about zinc, magnesium and vitamin D for testosterone and I might try those soon too.
Now, if you have gotten this far you might find my early qualifying statement strange. “This hasn’t been offensive at all” you might say to yourself. Well, fasten your seatbelts as we prepare for landing to bring this all home. Let’s talk about monk mode.
I honestly don’t think I would see triple digits without going full monk. Everyone has their reasons for doing it but I did it because frankly, it was easier than dealing with women. I have seen within my own family, the constant nagging and accusations that wives make towards their husbands. My dad and uncle work so hard at their respective businesses but still it’s never enough that they provide a life of luxury for their spouses. “Now Saturn, this is all anecdotal, surely there are women out there who don’t act like that.” And you may very well be right, it’s just that I haven’t seen it yet. And the opportunity cost of searching for ‘the one’ is outweighed by all of the other things I’d rather spend my time pursuing. Many of you have been following the news of sexual allegations against celebrities, many have been publicly shamed without any evidence beyond the claim. I just don’t want to take on that risk. Also, women have more sexual partners over the course of their life than men and because of their anatomy are more likely to spread STDS/STIs. (You can look at various surveys by dating sites and the CDC among others to show this so please don’t take my word for anything. Research and question everything. It’s really the only way.) Beyond legal and health risks, there is also the financial burden. The majority of homeless people in America are men, by a substantial margin. I believe this is due, in part because of horrible court precedents involving alimony and child support. Did you know that if a man is paying child support and gets a higher paying job he has to pay more for the child, even if it’s still a baby? Women have also been allowed by the court to take away men’s pets that they owned. This is also I think, a major contributing factor to the disproportionate suicide rate between men and women. We kill ourselves 2 to 4 times at much as women depending upon the age range, and the suicide rate is rising every single year.
I don’t mean to turn this into a mensrights or mgtow post because its not, but I feel obligated to explain how I was able to go monk. To me the cost/benefit analysis shows that for me it isn’t worth dating girls, but maybe that will change in the future. I try hard not to become dogmatic in my ideology and am open to new possibilities. I hope that this post helps you and if not, again I apologize for wasting your time.
I am 26. Social anxiety is much better but depression remains because I haven’t been exercising. That will change this year.
If there is any tl;dr: Think for yourself, don’t take my words or anyone else on this sub as gospel. Research everything. Question everything. Sometimes the way out is through.
LINK – How I reached 100 days (in hard/monk mode)
By Saturns_Son
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