Age 26 - Social anxiety gone, increased confidence & discipline, DE cured, fetishes fading
I'm 26. When I started NoFap, I was not a porn addict. I would only watch porn once or twice a week. But I was a fapping addict. I had been fapping daily to my imagination, girls I saw on the street, Facebook, etc for over 13 years. I started off with more vanilla stuff, but soon developed some more aggressive, disturbing fetishes involving power and dominance, like BDSM, bondage, catfights, that sort of thing. These dark fantasies made me very uncomfortable with myself and my sexuality.
I know we like to vilify porn on this sub, but fapping to porn-induced fantasies every night is really not much better. This was not healthy, and I was developing some major problems I wanted to face head on.
This is my second attempt. My first lasted 30 days before giving in to my brain and relapsing. I was on involuntary hardmode due to not having a girlfriend for almost the entire 90 day streak, with the exception of a one night stand around day 45.
Results of 90 Days NoFap Hardmode
- Social Anxiety Gone This is a massive difference. Before, I would spend most of my time alone in my room, at the computer. When my roommates had a party, I would hide in my room, turn off the lights, and pretend I was asleep so I wouldn't have to talk to anyone. Now, I'm excited to meet new people, and I've really started enjoying parties and social events.
- Eye Contact is Effortless I used to really struggle to maintain eye contact with both men and women. Now, I naturally make much stronger eye contact, and I noticed how this helps make people a lot more friendly and open. I've met some people who avoid eye contact completely, and they look very sketchy and untrustworthy, almost creepy to me when I talk to them. I realize now this is what I must have looked like to others.
- Increased Discipline I realized that I don't always have to submit to my first instinct or urge. I can overcome the body's natural tendencies with higher reasoning and logic. So I've started committing to eating healthy and going to the gym, even if my brain is telling me I should just relax and eat junk food.
- Real Self-Confidence Having the discipline to force myself to do something I don't want to and to control my base desires, I feel a lot more confident in myself and my potential to improve myself.
- Incredible Sensitivity and DE completely cured On day 45, I had a one night stand with an ex. I had always suffered from crippling DE, when I could go for hours withut finishing. This often made sex a chore and a lot less satisfying than it could be. I realize that this was not merely a psychological issue, but simply physical due to years of fapping without lube and death grip. After 45 days, this was completely, 100% cured. Sex felt incredible, better than I had ever thought it could feel, and I finished, shall I say, explosively.
- Fetishes fading away Along with the item above, this was the main problem I wanted to address with NoFap, as it was getting muhc harder for me to be turned on by normal naked women in normal situations. As far as I can tell, this has basically been resolved. I sitll have the fetish deep inside me, but it is buried now, and I don't need it. Regular, vanilla women on the street look incredibly beautiful going about their day to day life. Needless to say, it improved my confidence with women incredibly when I can approach and talk to them honestly, in a healthy way, without feeling unconscious shame that my head is filled with fantasies about tying them up.
- Much Better Posture and Body Language Going through NoFap has taken away a lot of the unconscious shame I had about my fapping habits. I feel a lot better about myself, and it shows in how I carry myself and in my unconscious sub-communication. Women are very sensitive to this and pick up on there signals.
- Incredible Attention from Women This was the biggest unintended effect of NoFap, it kicked in around Day 60, and it really took me by surprise. Everywhere I look, women are smiling at me, touching their hair, and checking me out. Maybe this has always been the case and I was just too inside my head to notice. I'm a very average looking guy, so this is something very new to me. For the first time in my life, women are actually approaching me! I've been on several dates with amazing women in the past few weeks, and will definitely be having even more success with women in the future.
- Take it one day at a time. The first few weeks, every day was a huge challenge, and 90 days of that tension seems impossible. BUt I just made it my goal to go just one more day without fapping, and not to break the chain. It worked. The last 30 days have been flying by, I didn't even notice how close I was to 90.
- You don't need to fap to sleep. I had a lot of trouble falling asleep without fapping at first, but this was just due to years of conditioning myself to associate sleep with fapping. Now, I sleep great without needing to fap.
- The highs are high, the lows are low. Some days, you'll feel like king of the world, and some days you will feel like curling up into a ball and crying yourself to sleep. This is normal, it's just your brain rewiring. There were some days on NoFap where I felt real, absolute depression and despair. I had never before in my life been truly depressed, so this was a shock. My life was going great, I didn't have anything to be unhappy about, but some days I just felt so...empty inside. But these feelings were just misfires in my brain. Push though them, remind yourself how great life can be, and they will pass.
I was really skeptical about the benefits when I started, but now I know NoFap is an incredible experience for anyone, and well worth it. Just stick with it, and no matter who you are, I promise you will see better results than you could ever dream of. It's only 90 days. Think about it. Even if you are just starting NoFap now, by October of this year you could be the man(or woman) you always wanted to be.