Age 27 - Clinically depressed: I wake up and I'm not depressed, I have goals and hope again!
Been on this challenge since march this year! I have gone through multiple attempts ranging from 4-5 days to 10-12 days with my max at 19 days 1-2 times! I've been into pmo since 13 years old...but my bad habit escalated after 18 years old when I had my own pc in my room.
And even more when I went to college and I was free to do my ''thing''! I was shy as a kid and teenager and i think i found my escape in pmo (and some video games then but not now)!
2 years ago i was diagnosed with clinical depression but I haven't take any drugs yet (I'm coping with exercise and diet ).
The thing is that after 21 I remember that my happiness baseline went down and I was a lot more different,more depressed, emotional unstable than before! It was the time when I was alone in my own apartment in college and instead of being out partying or hanging out with friends I was PMOing at least every day (some times 2 or 3 times)!
Then at 25 I had a breakup with my girlfriend and I lost my job and I REMEMBER CLEARLY that my PMO use escalated even more (genre and time: sometimes I was edging with P for 8-10 hours,also edging with Facebook chats and cams)!!!! Since then I've started developing symptoms like panic attacks (nocturnal), low focus and train of thoughts. I had goals but low motivation, severe anxiety, mood swings, insomnia and sleep deprivation, no more morning wood, ED in some occasions, unable to have sex with a condom, restlessness and feeling restless in certain clothes, empty feeling, lost some friends, even bigger social anxiety, even lower confidence, neck/mid back tension etc!!
It was clear... I had clinical depression and of course I went to a psychiatrist to talk about this. I refused to take any drugs and I started searching internet for my problems. Then found yourbrainonporn.com and nofap and I've started having strikes (ranging from 4-5 to 10-12) since the start of 2014, with my max at 19 days. Since then I had some very good days ,some medium days and some bad days, my panic attacks went from 3-4 times per week to 1-2 per month,my back and neck pain are much better and I think my mood have starting to going up little by little every time i try to abstain from PMO!
THE LAST 3-4 DAYS I'M IN THE BEST MOOD IN THE LAST 2 YEARS! I mean I wake up and I'm not depressed, I have hope again. I want to hang out with friends, I want to live, my appetite is a little better, my sleep is a little better, I have dreams again! Yes I have some mood swings yes I still have some bad symptoms but it's getting better and better!
I have goals and hope again!!!!!! BUT I know I that I have some hard days ahead (like withdrawals: depression and mood swings) and the battle is not over!
SO for everyone who thinks that he is clinical depressed or depressed in general: please check your habits, please get porn out of your lives because for my case I was starting to become suicidal and my spark for life was completely gone - but now I have started living/participating in the world again!!
GUYS REMEMBER WE ARE NOT DEPRESSED WE ARE ADDICTED AND BECAUSE OF THAT WE ARE UNHAPPY!!