Age 27 - ED: 8 month journey
8 months ago i figured out I had major PISD. I had been a heavy porn user since I was about 14. I always thought it was good for me. I have had a few sexual partners in my life (I am now 27) but the sex was never really that good and I often ended up drifting off, visualising scenes from my favorite videos to stimulate myself.
I confess, I faked my O quite a lot of the time as I just couldn't perform.
It was only about 8 months ago I realised I had PISD. I was with a lovely girl that I fancied like mad. I just couldn't get wood, no matter how much I tried. She eventually managed to give me a HJ but only after I slipped back off into the porn theater of my mind. I couldn't blame it on alcohol, nerves or anything else, there was something else happening here.
I booked an appointment with the doctor. Then I stumbled across an article on PISD and started researching the subject. I cancelled the appointment with the doctor. I knew what was wrong with me.
So for the last 8 months I went cold turkey. I not only stopped watching porn, but I came to hate it. The whole industry, for what it does to us.
I experienced everything we all do; mood swings, flatlining, lack of concentration, edging. Slowly but surely, I managed to push through it, and life was getting better every day.
The first thing i did was to go on a dating moratorium. No dates, no flirting, no real desire to see women in a sexual way.
It did the world of good. Although I had always been good with girls, my success was now going through the roof. i guess it was a combination of my not trying actually coming across as more genuine and relaxed. I was getting dates, but more importantly, I was enjoying the interactions more, getting to know people as individuals, not just people I wanted to sleep with. None of them turned into intimacy, but I was ending it with girls I didn't like and lost my outcome dependency.
Then, last Saturday, I was intimate with a girl for the first time since 8 months ago. It was incredible. I got wood effortlessly and I was able to enjoy and delve into the physical sensations rather than have to visualise. I was totally in the situation, it felt like it should do and when I O'd, I thought I'd gone to heaven. I would rather have 1 of them than 100 PMOs.
So the work has paid off but this is not the end, it's just the beginning. I need to keep this as my lifestyle and continue to improve every day. I thank you all for your support, and I hope that one day at a time, we can eliminate the horrors of PISD and porn addiction.
A few things I found helped:-
-Reading "No More Mr Nice Guy" by Robert Glover. A brilliant book, a real kick up the ass, and made me appreciate the mental, as well as physical barriers I faced. I can't recommend it enough.
- Going on a moratorium. The length of time may vary from person to person, but when you are ready to get out there and date confidently you will know
- Take some supplements. I found Zinc, Omega 3, Multi Vitamins and Vitamin D good for general health. L arginine good for wood and D aspartic Acid good for a general boost. These are all natural and should be available from your local health store or online
- If you edge, it's not the end of the world. Use it as a reason to strengthen your resolve rather than see it as defeat. This process takes discipline, but you can push through anything.
Thanks for reading. I hope this is just one of many stories that will be added to the Success Forum.
BY - Werther09
November 27, 2012
First post - Age 27 - Day 21. Some thoughts
I'm 27 and have been using porn since I was 14. I'm sure, like many of you, I never found out I had a problem until it was too late.
I'm not too bad socially but have been through some pretty bad dry spells (longest 2 years) however, this year I have really improved and found that I was getting much more success with women. The problem was, when I got down to it, I just couldn't get an erection. Most of the time I just blamed it either on alcohol or on nerves. Three weeks ago, I was with a lovely girl and totally failed to perform, twice, over 2 days, where alcohol or nerves couldn't possibly have come into it.
It was then I realised it must be something else. So after a bit of research I concluded that it must be porn that is doing this to me. I used to PMO at least once a day, sometimes more. However, I was under the impression that it was perfectly healthy and normal and regular excitement was a key part of keeping libido high for the real thing.I realise now that porn had become my mistress, one that needed no investment, just a few clicks. It replaced the relationships I had in real life and made me feel safe in a place which is in fact dangerous.
Now, I realise I have a problem. I was never into extreme porn or felt like I had to push the boundaries. I just had a number of "go to" scenes and girls that I could depend on, stored away in either my laptop or my mind. When I found myself having to rely on these memories for stimulation when with a real girl, I knew something was wrong.
So I have now been porn free for 3 weeks. There have been pros and cons. I don't miss the porn, not in the slightest but I flatlined pretty badly after a few days.I've had some awful mood swings as well but I am turning it into a positive and seeing it as an exercise in self control. I am still struggling to banish the indelible images of the girls I used to rely on from my mind, but I am working on it.
On the plus side, I have been much more focused on stuff that matters. I have reapplied myself at work, started some new courses and found more time to read and take care of myself rather than waste time on the web. I am filled with an optimism that as time goes on I will be much better and I am using this as a chance to banish other harmful habits from my life such as smoking and drinking.
I am always glad to read your stories and am inspired by the recoveries people have made. I am grateful for the chance to share this with people who know.
It's a long road ahead, but it will be well worth it. I hope to see you on the other side but until then, you have my support.