Age 28 - Increased sexual sensitivity, more confidence, I feel my feelings
I don't like to share many details about my personal life (sorry about that). This post is just intended to share my experience about the NoFap challenge. I do believe this is in the interest of others, so that you guys can determine which are the true common benefits of NoFap:
Little bit of background
- My parents have never talked to me about to sex. We have only talked about it in an indirect way (commenting about a movie, or other people's life experiences). I do not share much of my life with my parents...
- I started fapping at a young age, somewhere between 10-13 yo.
- Non-frequent porn use (due to unavailability) started at about 15, and got more frequent (but not much) at 17 yo.
- Modern kind of porn use (1 video per click in an instant gratification setup) started at 22-23 yo.
- I must say that the happiest years of my life have been 1-[10-12] and 17-27, with two a little bit bad years between 22-27 and one definitely bad year between 22-27. Note I am 27-28 yo now.
- My P taste has not gone wildly exotic/weird. The worst I have gone are compilation, street sex and anal videos. My favorite lately was just cute girls with nice make up following the usual bj/"natural" intercourse/facial sex cycle. I feel that it is important to add this; as I believe that this addiction effects are highly related to the amount of guilt you are emotionally experiencing.
I have fapped in about a daily basis (excepting sporadic dry periods) since I discovered that I could instant gratificate myself. When I started modern PMO use, it got worse; I would say that the average stayed in 1 PMO/day, but I had strong binges, specially under stress (1-3 strong binges/month, that is to say 2-5 PMO/day binge).
As a matter of fact, I think that frequent PMO use leads to loosing contact with ones' feelings. I feel certain about this as I have experienced it myself. I mean, believe me on this guys; it is true, PMO fucks up your feelings and kills rapid emotional exchange with others :-(.
About my current streak
The fact that my parents have never talked to me directly about sex has made me feel guilty about MO in general. Thus, surprise!, I have tried to give up PMO and MO in the past (maybe once a years since everything started). Result, surprise!, failed until I discovered this forum.
I discovered this forum just afterwards a soft binge of PMO. I was feeling guilty because my task-list (I keep tasks lists, because they help me concentrate on each task individually) where not stopping to grow; and some of the tasks I could have accomplished several times that week (but PMOed instead). I discovered the NoFap reddit forum and I started my current streak that very day, I did not even watch the tedtalk until some days later... Such was/is my urge to give up this time wasting habit.
So, short description of my current streak:
- I am currently in a foreign country, so I don't see my SO in a daily basis.
- Basically had 14 days of sex with my SO when she came to visit me.
- The rest of my streak has consisted on no sex whatsoever (no PMO, no MO, no P; and I have managed to avoid looking at girls pictures except for maybe 3-7 days [looked "only" at hot chivettes]). So that means 63 days in hardmode.
(PMO) Fapping negative effects (based on personal experience)
- Low sexual sensitivity (not everytime, but I must admit that it was most of the time)
- Low/slow emotional response during interactions with other people
- Low confidence and general state of mild to strong depression. As a consequence, low motivation.
- That haze/cloud in your mind that you have after fapping until you sleep; and of which you still have remnants during part of the next day.
- There are only three kind of attractive girls: the ones you have fun with (because they have a similar sense of humour), personal (tv/culture induced) fetishes [personal example, hot japanese (AV) models] and the 9+/10 girls.
- Waste of time and energy in general.
Positive effects of NoFap
This is easy, as they are the opposite of the prior negative effects in a varying value:
- High sex sensitivity. This is really important guys, for everyone of us. But I believe that it is specially for those that want to be loyal to their SOs.
- You connect with your feelings. This change is gradual and getting better every week. Is really like feeling alive again :).
- Confidence is going better, also in a weekly basis.
- Clearer state of mind. The backslash is that sometimes I don't sleep really well. But that's ok because sleepy-haziness is so much milder than PMO-haziness.
- Now, there are all sorts of attractive girls: because you like their emotional response, because you admire them in some way (intelectually, socially or other), because you like their eyes, because you like their smiles, because you like something about them. That is enough to feel uninterested interest (lol) on a girl... I can't say whether this leads to wanting sex or not; as I have an SO; and so far I have been the loyal kind of guy. I am really bad at lying and I usually like to stay on the safe side of things. I have to admit that some days, as I am terribly horny (mentally, more than physically), that I cannot stop thinking of some girls I feel strongly attracted to (suprinsingly, the whole group of girls I have fantasized to have been only 3-5 girls, specially to 2 of them). But I don't feel guilty about it... I have not acted upon it in any way (other than fantasizing :P); I mean, I have not tried to date them and I have kept my distance (which is probably bad, as I usually don't make friends with girls I am strongly attracted to; other than my SO. I do believe this is bad, but yet there it is).
- My sexual fantasies have gone "traditional"-like. I mean, there is nothing bad about having all kind of fantasies. [By "traditional" I mean that 70% are passing time with the girl in a fun/foreplay/kissing way and the other 30% are sex bj/"natural" intercourse/facial sex cycle type]
- I have extra time and energy. Although I spend a lot of time in this forum (you guys are so motivating in general!!), I still have extra time to advance my work faster than before. The extra energy is very much welcome!!
Anyways, feel free to ask me anything you are interested in. Just want to add that I have tried to remain on the facts (I do strongly not believe in NoFap superpowers...) that I think are truly thanks to the NoFap challenge experience.
Note: thanks for reading
Note2: my nickname comes from an awesome book series. If you like "The lord of the rings", you should definitely read at least the first three books of "The wheel of time" series.