Age 28 - Married: I had to think of porn in order to orgasm in my wife

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happy coupleToday is a milestone day for me. I have reached 150 days since MO, and 90 days since P (after I last PMO i have P'd a couple times W/O MO). This has not been hard mode as I am married and continue sex, but it has been hard none the less.

I feel a little bad that I don't contribute much to this community, but I do want to say thanks. I have tried to quit many times since I started with excessive MO at about 13, and PMO at about 18. I had seen P earlier, but never had access to it until I went to college and got high speed internet.

I always was able to keep this habit somewhat in check (nude pics, stip videos and missionary sex videos), but it was a significant time waste and truly decreased my ability to concentrate (and I don't really think it was in check as I couldn't control myself, it just never really escalated in all the years I looked at it, I'm 28 now). Whenever there was a task that was in any way undesirable I defaulted to wanting P and usually PMO'd, thus ruining whatever chance I had of completing the task. I work from home in IT and web/database programming, so this has proved many times to cause great stress and missed deadlines.

I have had regular sex through all my marriage (6 years now), but have always found that unless the sex is especially good I had to think of P in order to O in my wife, and found that about 5% of the time that I couldn't finish at all. Now though I don't think about this at all, just enjoy the time with her. It's almost like starting over and learning sex again, it can be such a different with a clear mind not clouded by P.

Before finding /r/nofapp and yourbrainonporn.com I really never had any lasting success in quitting PMO. I talked to people at church, or my wife (who is amazing and understanding), but that never translated into stopping PMO for and significant amount of time. So it feels good now to be seeing PMO have so much less of an impact on my life. I still find that I am tempted to PMO at least daily, but it is no longer a hopeless feeling that I cannot overcome. I can feel the desire to PMO and not actually waste the time doing it.

So thanks for the support everyone, and sorry for never posting before, Porker86 (Pork was a nickname as a child, ironic as I have always been thin)

LINK - First Post Here, but Long Time Benefactor of this Community

by porker86