Age 29 - Day 89, two flatlines
24.10.2011 - D(ay) 1
The problems: ED w/girls, premature ejaculation, decreased libido, decreased focus. I started to write it all down on day 54. As a side note: I wouldn't normally discuss this stuff in public but for the benefit of doubters and the guys new to it I present the testimony and hope it helps, just as the testimonies of other guys helped me.
Went completely cold turkey. Since I began my reboot, I don't even stare at ads showing girls in bikinis. I rarely watch movies, but when I see even the slightest part of interesting areas of female body, I close my eyes or turn my head away. Slight urges but one just needs to control one's life (easier said than done for some, nevertheless in my case it works). What gave me an impulse for change? Standard – embarrassment after not being able to penetrate a girl (once during holidays...it was really cold, so I had my excuse. I didn't have a hard-on, the girl was young and pretty hot, 8.5/10. Then it happened again recently).
Other factors one might consider:
- a really good diet, almost all organic food, mostly from local farmers. A general rule: if one's great-great-grandfather didn't know a certain type of food, don't eat it. Moderate consumption of alcohol, red wine during dinners, occasional whisky and vodka during parties. No drugs.
- I got a thorough examination of my health a couple of months ago and all indicators are perfect, sans testosterone which is at about 130% above upper limit and free testosterone (110%) Guys – do get free testosterone checked, as it is the one that really matters. One could have a high overall but low free and the latter is the one that does the all the work.
Sport: I walk a lot - about 3-6 miles daily. Heavy squats almost daily and some weightlifting, but nothing to talk much about, about 20 minutes once per 3 days. Medium-mountain trips once per 3 months. Bicycling and swimming during summer, some skiing during winter. Recently picked up chi-kung, 20 minutes daily.
I noticed a considerable uprise in general mood.
Not quite a flatline, but a definite decrease in libido and erections. Or maybe it's just a manifestation of weak libido and erections previously unnoticed but recently present. I have not experienced shifting moods - rather a step up and a constant plateau. Some days are extremely good though.
11.11.2011 - D(ay) 19
Non penetrative sex w/girl, not on a bed (one might say a two night stand. A considerable urge to orgasm, but erection not as great as one might expect. Could have ejaculated, but chose consciously to end without penetration and O. She climaxed by manual stimulation. Lots of hugging afterwards and falling asleep hugged together. Didn't tell her about anything, just that I want I that way. Generally I'm not a guy who would explain my behaviour.
12.11.2011 - D 20
Lots of hugging w/that girl (a really lovely creature in bed). No more sex (we slept in a 6-bed room). Erection not great at all.
27.11.2011 - D 35
Told my ex-friend-with-benefits about oxytocin and benefits of cuddling. We slept together hugged (she's not much of a hugger, I had to do all the hugging. No sex.
We did it for the second time afterwards, but I don't remember the exact date. I remember that I was slightly afraid and angry, like WTF it doesn't work or am I so screwed up? Of course having read all the testimonials I knew it could go like this and take some time. Nevertheless, subconsciously I just craved a faster change and some visible results. It is truly the non-linearity of the reboot.
12.12.2011 - D 50
Finally something happened down there and there was a surge of libido and much improved erections. Couldn't fall asleep till 4am. Then overslept an alarm clock, woke up 11.45am
16.12.2011 - D 54
For the last 4 days – improved libido, I'd say up to 60% of what one would expect after reboot. Still no morning wood. Not sure about nighttime erections. Some “spontaneous” erections when thinking about girls I met recently and with whom I have a prospect of sex. For the first time since long ago, the erections are really firm, rock-solid, although they fade away rather quickly.
The plan: 8 weeks minimum before sex (that makes next Monday the first date available. No PM at all till the end of world :) I will have my testosterone and free testosterone checked soon as well.
A slight difference I noticed. I'm not becoming monogamous. On the contrary – the more I feel my libido waking up, the more I want to seduce all sexy girls. There is however a great increase in my willingness to cuddle, and it really feels wonderful now, while the desires for some real action have not subsided.
17.12.2011 - D 55
Another oxytocin session w/ my ex-FWB. Now I just have to stop this as I get blue balls after sleeping in the same bed with a girl and not having sex. On the plus side – erections were firm and I had to somewhat conceal them :) A huge difference compared to the last time about 2 weeks ago.
About blue balls – I got it several times recently and just waited it over doing nothing in particular.
Wet dreams – as of now – none. Last night, though, I had a 1st person (always had these dreams 1st person, just didn't have any recently, at all) erotic dream without any conclusion.
22.12.2012 - D 60
WTF, is it the second flatline? I have no intention of checking it manually, but those slight improvements in spontaneous erections have completely vanished. I am determined to follow the reboot and just have not had as of yet an opportunity to have real sex and assess the hopefully present progress. But the sad thing is that my libido doesn't register the girls. Which means I see the obvious beauty and don't react to it. Just as I would react to a Greek statue of a goddess – beautiful but not compelling. I've had a serious urge to join a monastery for several days, if only i were not so f**ing cold. No kidding, folks. The solitude and deprivation of most of the stimuli of the modern world, plus some serious meditation, could just be the impulse necessary to refurbish my inner self (or to attain enlightenment, whichever comes first).
And now the fun part. I wrote the above in the evening. Around midnight I was watching a movie and there appeared a scene with two young people starting to make out in bed, zero nudity or any kind of perversion. The scene lasted for about 15 seconds. To my great joy, I started to feel a slight tingling in the private parts. This gives me some indication that should the real deal happen with a girl it might not be the second flatline and things would go great.
Still no morning wood. No blue balls for the last couple of days.
25.12.2012 - D 63, Week 9 just passed
I tried last night to get erection just by touching, no fantasies at all and – although not in 2 seconds as described by some – I got erect and the erection was firm. Maybe not 100% firm, but at least 90% On the other hand, it faded away pretty fast. On the third hand – the fact that I am able to get an erection just by touching is reassuring and comforting. This is the first time since long ago.
On the fourth hand – I feel like I would cum rather fast, and this could mean that PE has not subsided yet, but take into consideration that this is just a feeling and has not been tested in a real situation. As many guys write here, the first time could be rather quick, and it normalizes after several consecutive experiences of intercourse. The graph from the main page with rats and minutes until ejaculation related to the number of female presentation is again reassuring and by the fifthpresentation things should drastically improve.
Blue balls this morning and for some weird reason I got furiously happy about it ;)
26.12.2012 - D 64
I did the Male Deer Exercise today after waking up and plan on doing it everyday. What really bothers me is that I have not had a single instance of morning wood. While doing this exercise I did get an erection, maybe 50%. The second thing that bothers me is that the erection quickly goes flaccid after stimulation ceases. Quickly like in 5-15 seconds.
11.01.2012 - D 80
I started a self massage as described here. It got me up pretty quickly, definitely quicker than I would have assumed a couple of weeks earlier.
I have come to a conclusion that I have actually been through two flatline phases. Still no morning wood. No wet dreams either.
Since Western medicine says I am perfectly healthy, I began seeing a Traditional Chinese Medicine practitioner and was told that I have weak kidneys, a symptom of possible sexual depletion. I got some Chinese herbs, general directions about diet (all meals hot, some specific spices like basil or oregano, etc.) and acupuncture. Bear in mind that TCM is highly personalized and only a thorough diagnosis leads to these conclusions, so do not rely on “bro-science” in this field.
As written here:
It was noted that premature ejaculation (tsao-hsieh), spermatorreah (hua-ching, or post-orgasmic illness syndrome), and nocturnal emissions (meng) were associated not with a high level of sexual energy, but with deficiency, often resulting from what the Classic of Su Nu calls, “expenditure without restraint.”
15.01.2012 - D 84 , 12 weeks
17.01.2012 - D 86
I rubbed one out with condom, twice, about 20 minutes apart. I just had to know the deal with premature ejaculation. First time – couple of seconds. Second time – maybe 3 minutes. No fantasy, just purely mechanical. Which is good, but on the other hand, if I performed like this with a girl it would mean that I am seriously fucked up, and the only viable thing would be to buy myself 4 wives in some eastern country.
20.01.2012 - D 89
“Successful” sex with a newly met girl, not beautiful but not scary either :). When it comes to erection, about 80% of what one would expect. Rather unsuccessful when it comes to premature ejaculation – first time, about 15 seconds. Second time, about 4 minutes. In the morning we were ready to do it again but the external circumstances were not favorable.
My penis has truly become over-sensitized. Bearing in mind the masturbation experience from 3 days ago, I gave her an orgasm manually and orally before insertion, both times, and she was very pleased although surprised at how fast I came. I just told her that I had not done it for the past 2 months. While it is a huge improvement in the ED department, PE is the next target, especially as I can remember my performance at the age of 19. The goal is set and it will be attained :)
I will also discuss the matter again with my TCM practitioner.
One thing that differs from other testimonials is that I don't see the benefits of monogamy. I have a group of female friends with whom I have had sexual encounters, and the future is rather tending towards a multi-sexual relation. While they do not necessarily know about each other, it's rather friends with benefits on a larger scale I'm aiming for than towards a serious and committed relationship.
Another thing worth noting is the fact that I can see the difference among the females I spend nights with (sex or just sleeping cuddled) – with some I can't sleep at all, and with some I just fall asleep and wake up really fresh. They all claim a perfect night's sleep and look well rested. And as much as I am a down to the earth person it has crossed my mind that all the new-age stuff might be right in terms of energetic pairing, be it “real” energy, pheromones or something other unknown to me. No other explanation is viable.
10.03.2012 - D 139
Since last update several things have changed.
Namely during the last week I just wanked three times with the slightest fantasy and erection quality is rather good. Still not 100%, but definitely acceptable. Regular sex with a woman - same thing.
The challenge is not to get up, but to not end so quickly. I mean, I can remember the days maybe 5-10 years ago when I could go for ages without cumming. Now it's really a couple of seconds, maybe a minute or two.
Yesterday I had a first dream that I watch porn, being precise - the dream came and immediately popped up some porn images or movies, I saw the computer and screen with some movies on it. The dream ended pretty quickly without conclusion. Nevertheless - a weird experience. Hopefully by not watching porn for 139 days the brain remodels itself.
10.04.2012 - D 170
A noticeable change has occurred and what a change :) While having sex I can once again fully control when I end. Last time – about an hour of heavy pounding and although it does require a certain dose of concentration, I was for the first time since ages been able to control myself fully without condom. Erection quality – I'd say 90% of my teenage days, which is pretty awesome for such a marathon. And the change was pretty abrupt, one day I finish in seconds, the second all is back to a long awaited normal.