Hey all. Been a "nofapper" for almost a year. Have tried the 90 day challenge with multiple relapses. :( Longest streak was around 66 days. I realized that I didn't do a 30/60/90 day report, and maybe that is why I wasn't successful in this challenge? Also, in my previous tries, I was still watching porn. So that definitely didn't help! hah
Background info on me: 29/m. USA. Serial underachiever. First experience with porn was when I was very young.. maybe 12 or so? My parents weren't very good at hiding their VHS tapes.. Lost my virginity at 14. Had a daughter at 16. Started really (more than once a week) looking at porn sometime after that.
I'm a serial underachiever. I have an IQ of 130, and have the metabolism of a race horse. Basically very fit, without much effort. Considering the hand I've been dealt, I should be at a higher lot in life. Now, I don't want to say that fapping is the cause for this underachieving, but I'll say that it's not helping.
While the physical act of constant masturbation is bad (unbalanced dopamine receptors), I like to think that the psychological aspect of it is what is causing the problems in my life. Specifically, my inability to maintain focus/discipline in the constant face of stress/temptation, without respect to future consequences.
Anyway, here's what I noticed: Please keep in mind that all this anecdotal, and my own experiences. :)
- Increase in confidence. Probably stems from the fact that I don’t have this “secret” to hide. I can look a person in the eye without giving off this creepy, hypersexualized vibe. Honest to god, there have been instances in the past where I saw a girl and thought to myself "wow i masturbated to a video of a girl that looks just like her." that... i have to say... is not cool. hah!
- More "bold" when it comes to dealing with members of the opposite sex. I went on a date 2 weeks back. At the time, I was at day 21, and horny as shit. When I dropped her off at night, I went in for the kiss, although the entire night no real “kino” was made. Ended up sleeping with her on the next date. We’re not seeing each other anymore, but I like to think that if I didn’t have that urge, I wouldn’t have gone in for the kiss, and consequently got laid.
- More time to set my life right. Since I’m not wasting hours a day looking for that “perfect” scene, I can apply it towards more productive things. (Like surfing reddit? Ugh.)
- energy/motivation. Obvious reasons. I’ve heard that the sexual energy we all possess is one of the strongest on earth… Why spend it on fake/digital partners?? Fucking lame, right?
- more discipline/self-control. When you are disciplined in one part of your life, it spreads to others. For example, I used to get easily upset. Now, not so much. When people disrespect me, I’m able to deal with the situation calmly, and effectively. Although this could also be attributed to me reading the book “The Chimp Paradox.” I suggest that all no-fappers read it!
Well, that’s about it… Sorry for the wall of text. And anyone that took the time to read this… thanks!
PS – What do you guys think of having a list of “suggested reading material” to the side bar. I’d like to add that book “The Chimp Paradox.” It’s really effing good!