Age 29 - Increased libido, confidence & assertiveness, heavy alcohol use plummets
I started NoFap in late September of 2012. I relapsed on 7 October when I... came in my pants. Since then I've been in hard mode with no PMO at all. The first two weeks were the most difficult ones. Then it gradually got better, and I got the confidence and assertiveness I've always wanted. The reasons I started NoFap are explained here, so is a description of how my first month was like. It was in that period I made out with a woman for the first time in more than three years (at around day 5 or 6). She virtually said to me "You have such a positive aura! I think... I think I'm falling in love with you!"
Whether it was just dumb luck, or my increased testosterone levels, is open to interpretation. Regardless of the causes, it was a most powerful experience, and only the fact that she got blind drunk and collapsed in the bar stopped us from having sex that night.
My professional life improved as well. By an odd coincidence I suddenly got a new job, a job I've wanted for years. An amazing set of circumstances were the cause of it: My flatmate works there, and her boss had been very eager to hire me for quite some time. However, my former boss always stopped her. As soon as my former boss went on maternity leave, my new boss was free to hire me without anyone stopping her. A couple of weeks ago I got another surprise call from my new boss: She offered me a one-year temporary employment which I accepted. When I finish my education, there's a very high likelihood that a permanent position will be available for me.
Apart from the increased libido, one of the first changes I noticed was that my sleep improved greatly. My "tossing and turning" nights ended, and my dreams changed as well. They went from being sad and/or disturbing into becoming more pleasant and/or neutral. Whether it was NoFap or the fact that I had started lifting weights, I'm not sure of. Point is, I sleep better now than I had in years.
Another aspect of NoFap was that my alcohol consumption decreased noticeably. Before NoFap I drank until I passed out. Now I'm perfectly fine being slightly tipsy - and I no longer have the urge to drink alone.
As the days progressed, I became more and more daring when it came to women. Before I would never look them in the eye, but rather look submissively to the ground while fidgeting. Now I started looking them in the eye and standing upright, speaking with a firm voice. Once I flirted with a beautiful girl while waiting for the bus, essentially eyeballing her into a giggle-fit. At day 55 I yet again flirted with a friend of a former study buddy of mine, a woman who turned out to be in a relationship, yet still she was flirting too (and she never told me about the boyfriend herself). At day 57 I got the phone number of a girl on my course, however she later flaked out on me and I haven't seen her since. Despite my new-found confidence I had to deal with rejection, as everybody else has to.
Day 70 literally opened my mind. Although the night started with flat-out rejection, I did manage to get in touch with two young women of which one of them appeared very interested in both me and my musical projects. That night I realized that the perceived hostility of women at night is just a defense mechanism to keep troublesome ruffians away; although they appear untouchable with a "holier than thou" look on their faces, in reality they're just as scared and nervous (perhaps even more) than I am. "Night game" is significantly more challenging than "day game", as women are much friendlier and more receptive in daylight. These experiences made me focus on having fun, not getting a woman. Getting a woman is a byproduct of having fun.
At around Christmas I entered a period of low self-esteem and lack of energy and motivation. The most probable cause was a stinking cold I caught after spending an afternoon in my father's outdoor yakuzi. And the fact that I found an unholy object from my disturbing fap past. Christmas and New Year's Eve were difficult times, and I was deeply unhappy most of that time. I'm still somewhat in the rut, but it's getting better every day.
So now I've completed the 90 day challenge. The battle is far from over. Although I've seen dramatic improvements in my life, I still have a long way to go. There's a wonderful world out there and I try every day to be as much a part of it as I can.
Good luck to all of you who've just started NoFap, or still haven't made it to the glorious day 90. And great respect to those of you who've made it way past day 90 and into three-digit numbers.
If there's ever an "endgame" or "final round" of NoFap, I think I have reached it. Lately I've found that my stories are more suitable for Seddit than for NoFap. Now that I've actively started approaching girls I feel that my experiences would be better told on that other subreddit. I feel that masturbation to porn is no longer an issue in my life, and that a relapse into that old life of shame, sticky tissues and self-loathing is highly unlikely.
Many posters on /r/nofap have called NoFap a catalyst. It sure is. It makes you get out of your comfort zone and challenge your fears. Which I have done quite a bit. I had fears, and I still do. I still have bad moments where I feel scared and insecure, and where I worry about the future. Is my ED cured? Will I be able to enjoy sex normally with a woman? Will I die tomorrow? The fear is there, but it's no longer in control. It's more like a silly-looking background character in a movie where I am the protagonist, the author and the director. My past is written in stone. The future, however, is still clay which I can mold. I now use my hand to create.
The ultimate challenge lately has been to approach women I find attractive. I practice Daygame out of personal preference. I have been scared out of my mind, but approached them anyway. I look confident and I sound confident. Rejection is no longer an issue like it used to be in the past.
To sum up my new life and my new game, I want to tell one last story. It will be amusing for those of you who remember "T", the shy, cute girl from my Monday course who's been featured in some of my posts:
She was standing just outside the school with Y, her friend. It's an unusually sunny and pleasant winter's day. I boldly approach them with my now trademark confidence and say, with a clear, firm voice:
"I have an unusual suggestion, T[...]. Come to my place and I'll draw a picture of you." The fact that I said precisely the same to a woman at the gym yesterday, is irrelevant.
She looked at me like I was mad, wondering why I would draw her. Then I said:
"Because there's something very special about your eyes. When you listen to something really interesting, you get bedroom eyes." I looked her dead-center in the eye.
"What?" she asked. - "Bedroom eyes? Huh? What do you mean?"
"They get narrow. It's incredibly attractive."
She froze, not quite knowing what to say.
"Oh..." she eventually said. - "I must have been really tired, then."
"Think about it," I said, before walking away. Not two minutes later I texted her my address, ending it with a ;)
So, with that final story that for now ends in a cliffhanger, I move my business over to Seddit, and I want to thank everybody who commented on my posts, and wish you all the best of luck. You have been great! And to those who've lasted longer than me: You Rock!
Tl;dr: My time on NoFap is over, there's nothing more for me to learn here. I'm heading over to Seddit. Thanks for all the support and many great stories. You rock!