Age 30s - (ED) Second, and LAST, time doing this
About 2 years ago I finally made the connection between PMO and failed attempts to have sex. I went cold turkey for 17 weeks. Then i had sex which was fantastic. I got into a relationship with the girl and we were together for about a year. During the relationship she got me back into watching stupid porn a couple of times with her. I don't know why i agreed - after all that misery it had brought me. Anyway, it wasn't a big deal. She and i had a great sex life throughout the entire relationship. Then the relationship ended and, being so sexually charged up, i continued MO-ing, and then PMO-ing again. I PMO-ed for 3 months, until 2 weeks ago. What happened 2 weeks ago is that i met a great girl with whom we have awesome chemistry. Things went to the bed stage very quickly. And I failed.
this was 2 weeks ago. then i quit PMO-ing again. a couple of days ago, said girl and i were in bed once again, where i failed once again. extremely embarrassing... nevertheless, she was nice enough to give me an orgasm through masturbation. even so, my penis was not as hard as it should have been.
So as of today my count is No P: 16 days, No M: 2 days; No O: 2 days. the M and O were done with her. i now think that this was a mistake, too, but anyway. i am continuing on with the program.
i feel like a complete idiot having once conquered this nonsense by making it to 17 weeks and not having learned the lesson. i was so proud of myself back then and felt so strong. until a couple of months ago i was able to have sex on demand with my ex. whenever - at times, several times a day. i am very sexual and really enjoyed this. and now it really pains me that knowing how sexual i am and knowing how much i like girls in my bed, i am again failing to get my mojo back after the 3-month PMO binge. i am pissed at myself, to put it mildly.
i am really hopeful the girl would be patient enough with me and that things will end up well. from personal experience i know that this is totally doable as i have done it before. still, the lack of libido is stressing me out - as if i am experiencing it for a first time. this stuff is very upsetting, especially when there is a person we want to please and satisfy, especially when knowing that under normal circumstances, with a normal brain, we are completely capable of this.
i will post here periodically to mark my progress. i wish everyone else fighting the ugly shadows of PMO success. this is doable and it is completely worth it.
5 weeks Later (LINK)
i am writing today to share some good news and to encourage everyone doing this.
i had successful sex several times (4) this weekend, with a condom and to orgasm. i had one orgasm Friday night, one Saturday during the day, one Saturday night, and one sunday during the day. my girl and i are doing well.
i'm still learning how to use condoms, but it's getting better. during two of the times, once the condom was on, my erections went down a bit, but then, with a little patience, they recovered both times and we managed to have sex, with her orgasming, me orgasming, etc. last night she wanted to have more sex, but i think i was orgasmed out for the weekend, so we took it easy. (i still went down on her though and she still orgasmed). still, i managed to have sex with penetration a number of times this weekend and it was great. my penis looks healthy and full, and there is more and more sensitivity in it. it is starting to get hard from simply her kissing me.
so, guys, don't give up. to remind you, i have been PMO-free for 5 full weeks. 5 weeks ago, i met this awesome girl, and tried to have sex with her. i failed, which is when i realized i needed to become PMO-free. 4 weeks ago, i still had no libido and the condom did not even go on. 3 weeks ago, we managed to put the condom on my penis, and she masturbated me to orgasm in the condom twice. last week, we managed to have sex using condoms twice. then i failed once. this weekend, we managed to have sex using condoms 4 times. the third time she wanted to have sex this weekend, i wasn't even thinking about it and my sexual desire wasn't high by any means. but once she started kissing and touching me, my penis became hard, we put the condom on and still had our fun.
the PMO-free program definitely works. there has been improvement, to the point where now we are having sex using condoms. and i feel that once it starts working there is a positive feedback loop. this is the first time i use condoms successfully in my life. overall, i have been orgasming with the girl and that has probably slowed me down a bit. so in fact i haven't been entirely PMO-free - she masturbated me to orgasm twice and and i have orgasmed through sex. but porn and masturbating solo have been completely eliminated from my life. even though i have orgasmed - which as others' experiences show is probably not the best thing to do - i still feel fine: i think the bonding experience has been great. i feel relaxed with her and things are improving. 5 weeks after meeting her and after quitting PMO i am feeling closer and closer to her, very attracted to her, and more and more sexual. my libido is coming back in a positive and healthy way.
it is important to stop watching porn and masturbating, guys. we can all do it!