Age 31 - ED: slow progress is better than no progress! my story
I've never posted here before, But I have been reading the info here and have found it helpful.
31yrs old. Have had plenty of sex in previous relationships. Last relationship ended about 3 years ago, which co-incided with a change in job. new job was terrible hours but paid well. all night +weekend shifts. this left little time for a social life and meeting women. enter porn. within this span there had been some sex with an ex, where-in I had no issues. but I went close to a year without any sex with women. Within this time I started watching porn pretty regularly. I didnt think I had a problem. PMO'd probably about 1-3 times daily. "everyone watches porn" was the ideal mostly people i know had, so I didnt think it was an issue. I didnt have any fetish type tastes for porn....reg run of the mill porn Id think. About 2 months ago I met a girl who I thought was awesome in everyway, when we first attempted to have sex, my mind was racing to get into it, but I was 100% flaccid....was very embarrasing and was especially confusing for the girl. I had recently sustained a pretty serious injury so I blamed my pain medication on the issue (which could happen with opiates, but I had no issues getting arroused by porn, which lead me to believe that porn was the issue). I stumbled upon YBOP and this site and then decided to try a reboot.
After about 6 days I went into a deep severe flatline.....low mood, shrunken junk, loss of interest in many things. this lasted about another 3 weeks. closing in on the one month mark, I was noticing some random erections, as well as erections when thinking about this new girl. Right after the one month mark this girl had invited me to a weekend away where sex was implied. I tried not to get too worried about it and felt that if it happens it happens, and if it doesnt I will deal with it and move on. A couple weeks before this trip, I decided to mention the issue to my doctor. She (yes I discussed this with a female doctor) said it could be transient and decided to run some blood work to see where my testosterone levels were amongst other things (my testosterone levels were actually on the high 80% end of the spectrum). I did not mention porn, but just that I was having issues performing sexually. She gave me samples of cialis 20mg. Seeing as I wanted to test out how far I'd come in my reboot, i decided to quarter the tablets and use 5mg daily whilst on this trip.
Long story short, I was able to perform flawlessly multiple times a day over the course of 3 days. I did have trouble climaxing, but i was able to maintain an erection the whole time. This was approximately 5 weeks after starting the reboot.
Do I think I am cured, no. Although I feel I was obtaining 100% erections (due partly....or mostly to the cialis) I did flatline again sometime within the 3rd day and had some trouble obtaining an erection, but it worked well enough to have sex a couple more times and had an even more severe flatline after the trip for 1-2 days.
What I am trying to say is that the system works. Rebooting and abstaining from porn (and masterbation, which I also avoided in entirety) takes time, but outcome is worth it. Whilst you make think your case is more severe than mine, and it might be, its more reason to commit to the cause and improve your life and your relationships or potential relationships....you're better than porn and you deserve more.
Here are some things that helped me.
- Working out. Lift heavy ass weight. and thats a relative term. if you dont lift, then start, if you do, train hard and keep trying to progress. its not only a way to constantly improve yourself in a way you can quantify. but it will help with your self esteem. This was already a huge part of my life, I just paid more attention to it. As I mentioned in my story, I had an injury that kept me out of the gym for 8 weeks prior to me experiencing PEID. Even with my injury i tried to get back into the gym and do the exercises I could safely do. It helped a lot. Even if your issue isnt related to testosterone, lifting heavy can help increase testosterone, and that isnt a bad thing.
- Sleep. I used to get by on very little sleep. put more effort into sleep hygiene and try your best to get 9-7 hours....it helps with everything.
- re-wiring. When you are comfortable with women, try meeting some. I noticed I was right on track when I was getting semi-erections to full erections during kissing/making out after weeks of no response. if you arent ready for sex, let them know you want to take it slow. either way, you have nothing to lose and a lot to gain. maybe some humiliation, but it will gauge where you are in the process.
- Focus. on the other areas of your life you can be improving on. work, school, friends. personal development. This is a psychological barrier but by focusing on Rebooting as opposed to using your energy on productive things you can end up becoming more anxious about it and that doesnt help. as an aside, think about before you started this process. When you were PMO'ing regularly, and you went a few days without porn (ie. work trip or vacation with friends) did you flatline? low mood and such? probably not...I never did. but when you tell yourself you are actively abstaining it becomes a different process....and thats what im trying to say, if you focus on the process itself and not the goal (to be a better you) then it could defeat the process or at least slow it down.
- discuss it with your doctor if you are comfortable with it. my doctor said it has happened in people a lot younger than me. and said its probably just nerves. also, using something like cialis or viagra during this process will help with your confidence. It may be a crutch, but if its early in your reboot, it could help. I also (and this is strictly anecdotal) feel that these drugs can help with re-wiring in helping develop your response and reminding you how your fully erect unit should feel especially if you have been flatlining for a long time. and getting bloodwork done is worthwhile in case its any other issues contributing to your problem.
thats my little, unorganized, somewhat random story....but after 5-6 weeks I feel like im on the right track, and dont even think about porn of even masterbating anymore, the thought of sex itself is getting me aroused now and I feel that once I hit that 90 day mark (although progress isnt linear and im not expecting any "miracle" at day 91) I will be in a better spot than I was when I was PMO'ing with regards to sex, relationships and all things outside of sex.....
Thanks again to everyone who posts on here, and best of luck with your journey.
BY - BulkHogan