Age 31 - Rebooted, but got hooked again. Completed second reboot

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31-yr old guyThis is the second time I reach 90+ days. I've been on NoFap for about 1 year. This time has felt different all the way though. Really short background: A year ago I PMO'd about once every night. I did have a social circle and friends but all I really wanted to do was to be home by myself, watching movies, TV series and of course P. I was afraid of talking to women and I didn't even consider it as an option for me.

When I started this about a year ago, I got 90 days on my first try. I was a little obsessed by NoFap and did everything you suggested - exercise, cold showers, get things done, read NoFap on reddit a couple of times a day etc. And it worked! But I had not let go of PMO yet, I wanted to at least MO real bad. So on the 90th day, the time was about 00:01, I did the deed, and it felt good. Then I did it again the day after. Then I kept up just the MO, without P. But after a while I started to look at P again. I thought that if I just watched porn on my cell phone, then it's not really porn, so I did that for a while. Then I started to look at porn again on my computer and that was it. I was hooked again.

I struggled to reach one week after this. I usually could get 2 or 3 days. Then after a couple of months I usually reached 1 week or so every time, and that was cool. I did not feel bad about M. I don't think M is bad. But for me, I just can't handle it. I feel drained after I've MO'd. I get really introverted and I'm "in my head" all the time. I can't think of anything to say and I get this sad, depressed feeling and a lot of worrying.

This is why I kept going. I never let NoFap go. I felt the benefits of it and thought about it as a process without goal. I didn't really care if I reached 90 days again, I just wanted to be in the process. Now when I fapped maybe once every week or two, it didn't take more than 2-3 days for me to return to my awesome self. I know when I had 5 days or so, I felt really good every time.

After a while, maybe when I had 3 weeks or so this last time, fapping became less attractive to me. Instead, I wanted to improve myself, and I needed the energy from NoFap to have the motivation and courage to do so. From that point I've tried to do things that are good for my self. One thing that has been rewarding is to face my fears and do things that I'm scared of. One example is that I started to talk with everyone - cashiers, colleagues, random people in the city - everyone! :) I've also picked up social hobbies where I meet a lot of people. This has been really good for my social skills and what not. Also, hitting the gym a couple of times a week is good for my well being and self esteem. NoFap has been a great tool for me to have the motivation and balls to do all this.

So, these 90 days I went hard mode. I met a girl a couple of weeks ago and now I'm not on hard mode any more. :) I'm still in the process of improving my self, my life and the lives of people around me. I've had my ups and downs but it has also been really fun! Life is now and it's good. Keep at it all fapstronauts around the world! You've helped me immensely!

Thank you NoFap!

kidikaros

LINK - 90 days of hard mode. Day 91+ not so hard mode

by kidikaros