Age 32 - Overcame some serious PIED. have a healthy relationship with an amazing woman
I have seen numerous benefits from NoFap, and the community. I gained discipline, self-respect, overcame some serious PIED, and have a healthy relationship with an amazing woman.
Life couldn't be better, but somehow I needed more. Here are some insights into the mental states I was in before relapse, and some realistic counters if these thoughts creep in.
"I am past 90 days, so I don't need to worry about NoFap any more"
- This is a tough one, especially if you are goal orientated, the daily counter can act like a crutch, but can also bring you down. Some people don't use the counter at all for this reason. It is important to know your true reasons for continuing on, and keep those in mind, it is not a day counter that you are trying to achieve, it is life changes.
"I am no longer suffering from PIED, so it is ok to take a peak, I won't 'O' so it's OK"
- This was a reality for me, I was getting into a justification loop where I continually would slip deeper and deeper back into browsing, then more browsing with edging and then failure. Don't let the slightest slip come in, don't browse sexy girls on Facebook, don't look and celeb shots, stay clear of it, and you will avoid this slippery slope. There are numerous distraction methods (cold shower, run, meditate) that are great tools to help get away from this mindset, just do it!
"I have a high libido, so I need a release, or else..."
- Not sure if I'm alone with this one, and I know it sounds selfish, but I often get it in my mind that I deserve to have 'O's in order to release the tension. While I still believe this, I also know that there are so many in this community that go on hard mode for hundreds of days. Keep in mind that this tension and drive is there to be harnessed. You need to grab the bull by the horns and make it submit to your will, not the other way around. Use the energy to accomplish something that you have always wanted to work on, have some damn discipline! You will thank yourself.
I am not too frustrated that I relapsed, I have made some huge inroads, and look forward to facing these challenges again, and continuing to learn. I hope you gained some encouragement from my slip up.
EARLIER POST - 30 day report, honest and hopeful
To give some context, I'm in my early thirties, and have tried NoFap before, and fell off and away after a tuff breakup for a few months.
This time is different, I have made up my mind and I know that the reason I'm doing this is to face life head on and to truly live. I refuse to medicate away the boredom/anxiety/loneliness/pain that life sends our way, I openly let it come, and stand strong.
Some notes along the way for this last 30 days:
- Flatlining was really evident this time. I thought I was going asexual, I didn't really get erections as often and felt like I wasn't as attracted to girls. I think this really was just a change in outlook, I see girls as awesome and sexy people now, not just sex objects.
- Met an amazing girl that seems to be a great fit for every aspect of my life, I'm really excited!
- ED has been plauging me off and on, I know about PIED, and how your body's responses change overtime, but I think my confidence was not there with a new partner. ED was there at the start with my girl, but we took things really slowly and smoothly, and I'm happy to say that it is not an issue any longer :)
- I have been very diligent in stepping away from the computer when I start down a bad path. Be vary of cruising facebook and looking at hot girls, it opens your mind to crave more!
- I have been spending more time outside and doing more activities.
- My energy levels are higher, I notice that my brainfog is clearing up, I feel more articulate, and less anxious.
Overall, I hope this is a permanent change, and my aim is to never PMO again, the difficulties that you face become easier as you start changing your habbits and behaviors. You can do it!