Age 33 - My marriage has improved, as well as my sex life.
Wow, it's been 90 days. I decided to drop in and give an account of my journey and hopefully a little advise.
I'm 33 and had been fapping since I think I was around 4. I fapped every day generally 3 times a day but if left alone I could fap all day long. I was proud of it. Or so I had thought. In the last few years I have been self employed and work from home, and my PMO addiction was causing real problems in my life. My work was going to hell , I couldn't get things finished. My marriage was getting stressed. And really I was living like a gross troll. I was generally slim but had put on weight and also drinking way too much. 90 days ago, after a morning of fapping I stumbled on this , and my life has changed for the better.
I no longer fap, I no longer watch porn. I took an interest in my life. I noticed that I was responsible for my life. I was the one who called the shots. How I choose spend my limited time and energies is important. What we do with ourselves matters. That decision where you can either do something important and fulfilling or just hit up a habitual pattern for a few moments of pleasure is of vast importance. Everything matters.
Initially I focused that nervous energy into many of the life changes that other here do and I HIGHLY recommend it. Some of them stuck and other I let go. I changed my diet and I started a calisthenics routine. I've lost 15 lbs and am now fit and lean . I cut out all the junk food and try to just eat clean whole food. I run every day. I started meditation for a while, but I had previously studied zen for several years with a monastery and honestly I rapidly lost interest in it. I have been looking into Jungian dream analysis though and it's very interesting. I spend alot of time reading and involve myself in study about the world in general. I am tidy now where before I was a slob. I take care of my appearance more. I focus more energy into work. I won't call these super powers. I decided to do these thing every day and still decide to do them every time I do. There are many benefits from making these changes and I feel and look better than before.
Sex feels much better. I didn't realise that I had made my member so numb. Lol I have actually had to re-learn how to have sex as I was having orgasm like a schoolboy. It has been a funny and humbling experience.
As for advise, I would say that the number one thing to look out for is probably apathy. Around day 60 I began to loose excitement over nofap and I think that is entirely natural, but with that change came more opportunities to drop out and follow old habitual patterns again. Watch out for this. The only thing I can say is that I simply kept up doing what I was doing. I reinforced the why and whenever I feel like giving in I would do just that. I spend a few moments gathering my wits and look at the situation, I look for the choice then I decide what is the best thing to do then I follow that. Sometimes that was easy, and sometime it felt like dragging my tired legs up a muddy hill, but here I am.
I return here often and I am grateful of this forum on which to learn and share our experiences I wish everyone the best of luck on their journey with nofap regardless of why you do it. Remember to take an interest in your life, it's a truly amazing and wonderful thing.
LINK - 90 day report.
Well, it's been 180 days. I've been doing nofap on married mode and I gotta say it's been worth it. My marrage has improved, as well as my sex life. I really appreciate this sub. Reading the experiences of others has been a big help. I dont' have tales of women suddenly throwing their panties at me in the steets, but giving up porn and masturbation has been one of the best things I have ever done in my life.
So, for everyone else on this journey, I say keep at it! We only have so much time in this life, and I feel that how we spend it is important. A 17 year old up in his room fapping to porn can, in the blink of an eye, turn into a 30 year old upstairs in his room fapping to porn, or a 50 year old.
UPDATE - One Year
Well , it's been a year. I honestly had no idea I would ever see it through this far. I started this because I'm married and I work from home . Internet porn was getting in the way of my work and was likely going to be a threat to my marriage, as my wife hates porn.
Things I have noticed are improved penis sensitivity. This was a big surprise actually. I've actually had to re-learn how to have sex. I'm also no longer worried about accidentally leaving a window of porn open, or having not cleared my history. I don't carry the guilt and self loathing of having just wasted an entire day watching porn when I should have been doing something productive.
As far a super powers are concerned women aren't stopping me in the street to throw themselves at me and my hairline is still gradually receding. I can see how a person may have more attraction from the opposite sex however. Take a pale skinny fella who spends far too much time behind a computer jacking off and get him outside in the fresh air, maybe some sun and exercise and he's feeling better about himself . Walk around with some pride and self confidence and people notice.
Cravings. After a while they get easier , but they never really go away . I don't avoid triggers and I never did. I just deal with the urges. At some point you need to just own the feeling and live with it when it come up. This approach helped me to quit smoking a number of years ago as well. I never FELT like quitting. I kept waiting for a time it would feel right. That doesn't happen. At some point you have to face the craving and deny the urge and just own the experience and deal with it.
I've used nofap as a catalyst to make other changes in my life, some have stuck with me and others I've let go. The two big ones are developing a moral code/ sense of honour and establishing a personal fitness regime. I've delved through history books and philosophy books to help me here. But working on a personal code is important to me and I think most people should spend some time thinking about this I also lost about 15 lbs of fat and have added about 12 lbs of muscle. I live in a remote area and did all of this from my own home with very minimal equiptment. . I use a combination of progressive and weighted calisthenics and cardio for an all around fitness routine. At some point I will get a barbell so I can add some of the big lifts as well. If you are interested in fitness but for whatever reason cant get to a gym don't let that stop you.
Anyway, I wish everyone here good luck.