Age 34 - ED since 16: This thing can be conquered on ALL levels
I've been on no porn/masturbation for about 3 months now and I wanted to give some background and share my thoughts on my experience so far.
- Some quick info- 34 years old
- Exposed to porn at a young age-10ish. Been masturbating frequently since but got heavy into porn at about 20.
I have had sensitivity issues for as long as can remember. I also couldn't get a solid erection the first time I had sex at 16. I would say my batting average was probably about .300 as far as getting hard enough for sex (this was tested with many different girls.) At around 21 I got my first steady girlfriend and things gradually got better. She was patient and we eventually had a pretty healthy sex life. In retrospect I think I went through an unintentional, albeit slow, reboot with this girl. Spending a lot of time with her, no porn or masturbation, and her support made for a healthy return to normalcy. I wish I had been consciously aware of what was happening then. As we parted our separate ways I gradually relapsed (again, unbeknownst to me) to my old poor erection state. I eventually gave in to the idea that this was just how I was. I guess I was going to have to live with it.
Fast forward 10 years to me stumbling upon the TEDx Talk and having a light bulb go on over my head. I instantly went on no porn/no masturbation again, but I was (and still am) sexually active. I'm sure this process has been slowed due to the sex, but I have seen incredible changes that I am very happy with. Some things I have noticed-
- Sensitivity - I can feel sex on a level I have never felt in my life. It's amazing.
- Sexual energy/excitement- enjoying kissing, touching a girl instead of rushing to sex asap before I "lose it."
- Everything about female contact feels better and more enjoyable, right down to simply holding hands.
Here's the kicker, and I'm sure some of you have been in this boat. When you can't get fully hard most of the time you develop bad performance anxiety. If you've experienced it you know what I mean. Heart pounding, nervousness, and BAM, you're on the fast track to limpville. This happened to me during a sexual encounter last night. All the regular symptoms including the extreme nervousness BUT I stayed hard. The erection simply overpowered the anxiety issues (I'm picturing a knockout punch in a fight ) This, for me, is the BIGGEST breakthrough of them all. This thing can be conquered on ALL levels. And I'm only about 3 months in. I can only see things getting better.
One more thing I'd like to add that I know made a big difference is cardiovascular exercise. I have been a lifetime weight lifter so I've always been in good shape, but I never did cardio. Before I started the reboot I incorporated intervals into my routine and I saw instant harder erections (literally the same day.) Having a strong heart and circulatory system absolutely cannot be understated and should be included in any reboot.
Finally I want to say thanks to everyone who has posted on the forum. I have been lurking for a while and have absorbed a lot of fantastic and encouraging information. I hope my post has contributed in a similar fashion.