Age 34 - I do not want to ever go back to that living hell
So where to start, what to say? 34 yo male, been PMOing since at least 1992. At the beginning of December of last year, shortly after Thanksgiving, I discovered this community (and reddit in general) after reading an article on TheBlaze.
Didn't expect to start this journey, but after reading a few posts here, I decided that I better not even have "one last hurrah" so I just pulled up a chair, created a profile and dove in head first.
The title of my first post was something along the lines of "Get busy livin or get busy dyin..."
Well my brothers and sisters, I am happy to report that I have been living, and I've been living well. This is obviously the longest streak of my life, but more than that, I feel like I've opened myself into an entirely new lifestyle. Much cleaner, without the guilt, shame, remorse, regret, lust, dirty sheets, bags under my eyes, and on and on.
In these past 90 days I have:
1) not fapped
2) not looked at pornographic images or videos or erotic stories
3) not edged
Consequently I have been able to get a lot of things in my life back on track and I've reached out to try things and do things that I've always wanted to try. Such as:
1) I went to a country that I've never been to before
2) I have volunteered my time in many different ways
3) I found a church that I think suits me
4) I started taking lessons in a foreign language
5) I have woken up each morning with a feeling of victory rather than a feeling of defeat.
Furthermore - my business has been going well, and I am NOT NEARLY AS SOCIALLY ANXIOUS AS I WAS BEFORE.
As for the question that that everyone has: What about the superpowers?
Well, I can't tell you that I've lost those extra 25 lbs that I'm carrying (yet), or that 19-year old sex kittens are throwing themselves at me (yet), or that I can shoot flames out of my eyes (yet)...
But I can say that I'm starting to get back to the gym a little bit, but for now I've been keeping it light... (it's a process)
And, (perhaps to the chagrin of some, but whatev) I have begun in the last 10 days or so to start frequenting the /seduction area to begin working on gaining back my confidence and determination to attract women... I am currently challenging myself to approach 100 women for no other reason than to practice interacting with them. (I'm about a 1/3 of the way into it and has really been good for me socializing in general).
So to sum it all up. I came in here pretty broken and weak. I just hung on for dear life, staying in the forum until 4am a few times. Started taking on more challenges and risks. Now I feel solid within myself to try and do this dating thing again.
Finally, it is my personal belief that Pornography and the damage it does to men and women - is something that is demonic and really is a supernatural evil in our society. It was something that had its hooks into me just as if I were a heroin or crack addict. It made me a junkie and it took so many things from me. 90 days is a start - but only a start.
I DO NOT WANT TO EVER GO BACK TO THAT LIVING HELL.
Thank you all for helping me get here. I count you all as my brothers and sisters. One love.