Age 37 - Years of porn-induced ED

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The bad news is you suffer from porn induced ED, the good news is you control your destiny and path to recovery. But "easier said then does" applies, and boy does it ever. It is a very difficult thing to recover and beat; But it's only difficult because the candy you're brain is addicted to is so easy to get. It's in your room with the door closed. If you live alone, it's in every room of the house. And your brain craves it so much, that physically your body craves it also.

For years I battled the addiction to MTP (masturbating to porn) an hour or two on weekdays, 5-8 hour binges on weekends. Before seeing my girlfriends, rushing home after being with girlfriends to jump on porntubes and see what's new. Sex was never as it should be. NEVER. I lost my virginity at 25 to a prostitute. And only had sex with prostitutes I would hire. Or when I visited brothels in Mexico. This lasted from 1999 when I lost my virginity until 2004. In late 2004 I installed broadband internet in my apartment. About a month after I was masturbating to porn every chance I could get. A couple of months later a joined a swingers site and started to communicate with couples. This couple invited out for a drink with the intent of me having sex with the wife while the husband watched. After a couple of drinks ended up at a hotel where I was able to get a 70% erection as me and the lady made out for about 10 minutes then nothing. My erection died. I could not get hard enough to place a condom on. We called it a night and the husband said that I was to nervous.

 The next year I had me first real serious girlfriend at 30 ( yes I was a very late bloomer). I had seen a couple of prostitutes earlier and really could not perform either, but learned to jerk myself to get hard and have some type of sex. But with my new GF, it became a problem. She said I needed to see a doctor, and I thought it was still a combination of nerves and anxiety. But in the back of my mind I knew that masturbating has something to do with it, but it was not until 2011 ( 7 years after I began to have porn induced ED) that I read an online article on porn and the ED it causes. It was like a ton of bricks. Now I knew what was causing my  ED. The past 7 years of pointless sex. Jerking myself to stay hard for 5 minutes and then having to stop cause the erection was gone. I'm a good looking guy with a large and thick penis( when a prostitute tells you that your penis is big, then your penis is big). But I could never satisfy a woman or her feel the pleasure of my endowed penis cause it would not stay hard.

For the next year I tried to recover, quit the first of the month, but would last 2 days. Quit at the beginning of the year, then masturbate 5 days later. Then I tried to quit masturbating to porn and just masturbate in the bathroom. That lasted 10 days. I realized that I needed porn to masturbate. I was addicted to this horrid thing. ADDICTED.

There is no magic formula. Rituals, habits, etc, might help in assisting you to recover and reboot. But at the end of the day, just like board member GHOSTDOG writes, you have to be able to quit cold turkey and walk away. Do no look at porn. It's a pathway to get off the wagon. I fell in to that hole so many times. Actually avoiding porn, pictures, all that stuff is very easy. It's the easiest thing to do in rebooting and recovery. If guys understood that, the process would be a lot easier. If your tempted to look at porn or adult related material, simply walk away. Do anything for the next 10-15 minutes and you will be amazed at how easy it was to walk away and forget about the temptation and feeling to look at porn and the desire to masturbate to it. You might have to do it several times a day for the first couple of weeks, or even a  month. But walking away is the easiest thing to do in recovery.

As far as me, will I started February 1st, walked away from it. But here was my jump-start. I went and visited my mom for 5 days. That first 5 days was my jump-start. There was no way I could stay away from MTP at my place for 1-2 days let alone 5. But I knew visiting my mom for 5 days and not looking or masturbating to porn would be a great jump-start to recovery and rebooting. I got back to my place 5 days free! I thought that was so awesome and I knew that 5 day jump-start was something I did not want to ruin. So I quit cold-turkey that day. Within 60 days, I was having great sex again. And I did have sex while I was recovering. And I would even jerk myself to get erect while I was with a female. I have read that you can not have any type of sexual interaction while you are recovering, which I disagree with. But if that's a course that best suits you, then go for it.  But the one thing that I had going for me is I was sexually active and functional before I was addicted to masturbating to porn online. I have read that the new generation of addicts that started the addiction when they were 12-17 years old, and pretty much started to masturbate to porn at a young age, have a longer recovery and reboot time.

I started to masturbate again a couple of weeks ago. Like a normal guy. In the shower, in my bed after a night at the bar. But not more masturbating to porn, etc. And I had sex last week like a porn star. So obviously it's ok to masturbate after a rebooting.

The best piece of advice in my recovery and rebooting was something I read from a doctor on yourbrainonporn. And that was don't get so addicted to the reboot and recovery. Don't let it become such an overwhelming part of your life that it weakens and distracts you so much that you go back to porn cause it will be an escape from the pressure of it all. Times before the recovery and reboot was such a distraction, it would actually beat me down and I would go back to porn. You have to let it all go, the porn and everything that comes with it.

It's not easy, but stay focused. Every battle you win against masturbation and porn is a victory. You might have 8 battles a day, you might have 1. But they all count toward the goal of beating your addiction and having a great sex life again.

I can sit here and write with no shame, I will place my addiction and all the dirty habits that went with it against anybody on this board. I did not think I would be able to beat it. But I did. There was no magic formula, no one piece of advice, no one person who motivated me, no one experience that did it for me. It was the realization that this could be done and why it needed to be done. Was it easy? No! The easy part was after I fully rebooted and recovered was understanding and realizing that I has it in me to quit.

Guys feel free to contact me if you have any questions, etc. As a person who lived through the horrors of this addiction, if there is any way I might be able to help, please feel free to email me anytime.

MEDHELP

by staroftexas

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Mens-Health/Too-much-porn-masturbation-caus...