Age 39 - Gay man, ED - the best decision of my life
I am a 39 year old gay man who is American but has been living and working in India for the past 2 years. Today I celebrate my 30 days of no porn or masturbation. I stumbled onto www.yourbrainonporn.com one night after fapping in hopes of looking for proof that there is a way to harness the energy from fapping to bigger pursuits in my life. I never really considered myself to have a big problem since I had no problems being sexually active and previously I use to commend myself for JUST using P and M.
I use to make comments to myself like "oh good, I am saving money by not going out" or "Oh look, I am putting myself at less risk by not being sexually involved" I was completely ignoring the fact that I had no energy, I would lose HOURS of good social time with friends and hours of productive time I could have been meeting my goals because of fapping. I wasn’t able to maintain healthy romantic relationships.
When I would be sexually involved with another person, I wouldn't use a condom because I had a difficult time keeping it up. As recently as 8 months ago I started using ED meds (they are over the counter in India) and then because of porn I would really act out sexually and go to clubs and bathhouses where I would be unsafely sexually active with many people when I would visit the United States. It was unhealthy, unsafe, unproductive, and after it was over quite unsatisfying.
Before I started the reboot I had the opinion that any attempts to curb my extreme sexual behavior (whether it was hours of P/M or unhealthy hooking up) was a means by society to further "oppress gay people." That it was my "RIGHT" to have as much extreme sexual behavior (either alone or with others) for not having the same rights as my heterosexual counterparts.
After being fap and porn free for 30 days I am more at peace, have more energy, and am more clear about what I want in life than I have been in almost 20 years. This website played a HUGE role in my being able to do that. I recently (2 days ago) had my first sexual experience since starting the reboot. I required no ED meds, I was able to last MUCH longer than I have in years, and I felt more virile than I did at 21 when I first became sexually active. It was a date, with dinner, sight seeing, conversation, and a meaningful exchange instead of a 20 minute hook up to scratch an itch. If I had any doubts about whether I wanted to continue to be fap and porn free...they are now gone.
I just wanted to take this time to thank everyone for being so brave to share your story. For sharing your wisdom, your successes, your relapses, your determination to get back on the horse when you have fallen off, and your UNWAVERING support for each other.
If one person gets 1/100th of the value from this post that I get from this site and your posts, then I will have done a great thing. Truly, bottom of my heart I thank you all. There are no words that come close to expressing the gratitude I have for this site.
Best of luck in all your adventures fellow fapstronauts. I am rooting for you all the way.