Age 40s - Married: Sex with my wife became more intense and special.

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guy in his 40sI'm in my forties and have been using porn off-and-on since I was a teenager. I wouldn't call myself an addict but I suppose I have wasted my fair share of time on porn over the years. It so much harder to avoid these days. I really pity young people growing up with high-speed internet.

Porn was around "back in the day" but it was kinda embarrassing to get hold of it so I mostly didn't bother.

Anyway, I've just grown tired of porn and I've some to resent it having any place in my life. I can always find something better to do than PMO!

My Journey

I heard about nofap via "The Great Porn Experiment" TED talk like many here. It made me realize how tired I was of the whole PMO routine.

0-30 days

The first few weeks were a relief to tell you the truth as I was so sick and tired of PMO! After that came what most of you would call "flatline". Actually, I'm a bit skeptical about the whole flatline concept. I thought of it more as my brain putting sex into perspective with the rest of my life. I was just thinking about it less because I'd taken PMO "off the table". But if labeling it as flatline helps people get through I don't think there's any harm.

31-60

I worked hard on my music. Whenever I wanted to fap I just played my guitar instead. EVERY time. And my progress with my music helped motivate me to keep things going.

Sex with my wife became more intense and special. We were going through a bit of "coming in ways other ways than though intercourse" phase so there was a bit of "coming like a firehose" action which was super hot! Coming after not coming for a week is ... 'nuff said .. you all know it's just better people!

61-90

I did a bit of "badge watching" during this period. Things seemed to go so slow. I really wanted to get there but feared I wouldn't.

I was never one to keep a porn cache but I ran across some porn vids when cleaning up my hd. Had a peak, bad idea - so close to a relapse. Since then I've bought a new computer. I like the idea that it has never been used for porn. It is totally clean. I hope to keep it that way.

There was something that had been weighing on my mind since the start that I realized I needed to deal with. I hadn't spoken to my wife about it. Initially I was telling myself I wanted to get a decent stint under my belt but I knew now it was time. I knew while ever I didn't share my goal with her I giving myself and "out". During a late night chat I told her, she literally said "I wasn't expecting that!". She knows I have watched porn but has never been really comfortable with it. I don't know that many women "like" there partners watching it. It is mostly just tolerated. Anyway, we were able to have share a laugh about the whole "challenge" thing and it brought us closer. She appreciates the effort but also loves "occasional porn" me. I don't know that she understands the "slippery slope" aspect of porn for guys. For some things it's just best to say "none, ever". She joked about baking me a "90 day" cake. It didn't happen 'cause we got busy with other stuff. But, I think I'll hold her to it and get her to bake me 120-day one (if I get there)! Maybe I'll post a pic.

91-infinity and beyond!

Sorry to say, it's still hard sometimes but I think about PMO less and less.

My Tips

  • have a list of "go to" activities to substitute
  • check-in on nofap instead of going to a porn site
  • share you "secret" with someone you trust to make yourself more accountable
  • think of yourself as someone who doesn't do "that"

Wind up

Thanks for reading. Sorry about the long post. And all the best nofappers! Imagine if we could harness all the energy we've all refrained from expending by avoiding PMO!

Thread - 90 day report - thank you nofappers

by drivereights