Age 47 - 10 years of ED & DE cured: But I returned to porn, and...

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11-18-2011

Like most I've been looking at Porn since I was 13 or so (I'm 47 now). It has never been a problem for me in the past, that is until I got high speed internet back in 2000. Started noticing problems getting hard and bad delayed ejaculation problems. Up into that point in my life I had always had the ability to ejaculate on command however, after high speed porn I was lucky if I could got off 40% of the time. Sex with my then wife became less and less frequent. I thought my problems were because I was not attracted to her anymore. But that didn't matter cause I had my beloved high speed porn. I could look at 1000's of pictures in a sitting. Killed and entire afternoon just looking at porn.

Sex with my then wife got more and more awkward. When I could get off during sex it was hard work (lot of sweating) and weak reward. It's like for me to get off, I had to picture my wife in a sex scene with another guy. My wife finally left me after cheating on me for months. Once free from her I thought I should have no problem now however - I had the same problem.

If I could get it up I could never got off the first time with a woman. I have the same problems with my current wife. The problem for me, with my now wife, is I abstain from pmo for a few days so on the weekend I would have less problems, and if we don't have sex I go into a withdraw frenzy. Mood swings and the whole nine yards. She told me she hated sex with me. It was awkward and she always felt it was her fault for my problems.

I am getting erection through the night and in the mornings. Never really had a problem losing the erection during sex just takes awhile to get it up. Once I'm up, I'm up for the night. That combined with the delayed ejaculation made me a hit the first few times I'm with a girl however, they get tired of it and so do I. It gets old real fast. Quickies are out of the equation.

This is my first blog and I'm on day 21 with no pmo. I thought it was impossible to do this. I thought I might explode after a few days or die. But I'm doing it. Pretty damn easy too. I no longer feel I'm in that sex frenzy I use to be in. I let my wife tell me when she's ready for sex, at least until I can tell the difference between my addiction needing a dopamine fix and my body just needing sex. This is the longest I've ever been without the big o. Feels good to look at real woman again with lust. No wet dreams yet. Not sure if I'll get them. I suspect I will have sex this weekend the first time since I started. I just want to have sex and get off without thinking about it or trying in less than 10 minutes. Not sure Karezza's for me. Hope it all gos alright.


Day 30 no PMO

It's hard to believe I've made it this far. I have so much sexual energy. Every time I touch my wife I can feel the sparks, and she can feel them too. Never had that when I was on PMO. My movements with her were plastic and predictable, now I touch her with a warmth and passion that can never be duplicated watching a movie. Our sex is slow and satisfying, not rushed and deliberate. Is giving up PMO worth it. You DAMN right!!!!!!!


So after I completed my reboot and everything was working good again. No ED and rare Delayed ejaculation, Successful sex about 95% of the time with spontaneous erections.

Then I started MO'ing again.

At first 1 or 2 times a week then every 3 days till finally it was back to everyday. Delayed ejaculation symptoms came back (successful sex 80% decreasing to about 60% ) but no ED.

After I was MOing everyday it became harder to O so I started to look at porn. Not the hardcore stuff just images. I told myself this was ok. Successful sex was now at 50%. I told myself it's because I'm using my hand so I purchases a fleshlight. I limited use with the fleshlight to every 3 days and no hands. Successful sex now back at 80%. I was having a hard time O ing with the fleshlight so I started looking a harder porn.

Successful sex starts to drop to about 60%. Once I was looking at harder porn I noticed I could O easily everyday with it.

Successful sex drops to 50% and ED starts to creep in. I would say it only took about 2 months to completely desensitize myself and drop my success rate to 40% and introduce the occasional ED into the mix and forget about the spontaneous erection.

The addiction is always there. It may hide for awhile but it is there ready to take advantage of a weak moment and justify it's existence.

Now I'm 30 days into a new reboot. Much easier this time and faster. I was able to maintain a health sexual relationship with my wife this time while in the reboot process. All my porn has been destroyed. I'm proof that this is real. My success rate over the past 2 weeks is 100%. I have just start getting spontaneous erections again just at the thought of having sex with my wife. No hands or fleshlight.

I never told my wife about the relapse however, in the few months of declining success rates and faking O's. She wanted sex less and less. Which meant I was PMO ing more and more. It's a vicious circle. I hope I'm breaking the circle this time. I would like to say that the fleshlight is pretty awesome if used in moderation with no porn. It really does improve sensitivity.

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by gtw294