Age 50's - I am fearless & confident; S.O. loves the changes she's seen in me
Made the 60 day mark :). Had no internet porn till I was over 30. Porn had negative effects on real life relationships (not as exciting...). Very skeptical about noFAP. Discovered new revelations about myself, and noFAP's positive effects on my life.
Thank you all for your support! Here I am at 2 months. 60 days. hardmode. I can't believe I actually made it.
I was one of the biggest skeptics when I happened upon noFAP.
PMO History - Porn came late in the game for me.
I wasn't weaned on internet porn, like a lot in here. It didn't become available online until I was in my 30's Sure, I fapped a lot to porn in those early years, but then tapered off as the novelty wore off, and also because of the relationships I was involved in.
I've always had a girlfriend, and sex was plentiful, but porn had that extra "something" I couldn't explain. It allowed me to fantasize and idealize, which eventually led to objectification. My relationships took a hit, not catastrophic, but impacted them nonetheless. My expectations started to exceed reality, and I brought up the subject of 3-somes with my partners, both FMF and MFM, but most were a bit surprised, and turned off by the idea. They felt as if they weren't good enough for me just by themselves. I just thought of it as being "adventurous". I had to exercise a lot of damage control in those cases. I thought they'd be as open minded as me, because 2 of them used to watch porn with me, all varieties MF,FF,MM etc.
I've always been a major masturbator, but it never had any detrimental effects on my sex life. I wouldn't masturbate when I knew I was going to be having sex, or we'd incorporate masturbation into our sex play. Never had ED,PE,DE, or PIED from masturbating, and more often than not I would have multiple O's.
I PMO'd on and off for about 15 years, and in the past several years, it's been taking its toll. Over time, I just found my orgasms were better with PMO than with my S.O.
Add to that, the time sinkholes that my solo activities would take up, mostly on the weekends, when I was supposed to be having sex instead.
Decision to try noFAP, and benefits derived
So, I started noFAP, just to see if it would make any difference, and it definitely has! I've learned a lot about myself in the past 60 days.
I developed incredible self-control unlike I ever thought I had. My voice, believe it or not, HAS gotten deeper. I was stunned, and my S.O. noticed it as well. I compared my v-mail intro's from early this year, to the new ones I've created, and I'll be damned if my voice isn't different! My Smartphone stopped recognizing my voice commands, and I thought there was something wrong with it, but in the last month, it's relearned my voice patterns.
My workouts have been more intense, I can go longer, lift more, and my determination to overcome discomfort and push , has increased as well. (This also might be a side effect of 7 weeks of nothing but ice cold showers).
I am fearless and confident.
I didn't expect such changes to occur in the least.
I now know that I can live without porn (that was the easy part). The hard part was abstaining from MO.
I've had a few "day dreams" (I never have had wet dreams), and although they do seem to have a moderate "setback effect". It's not noticeable right away, but in the several days that followed.
Future plans, and THANK YOU
I will continue to not MO, however, I'm going to be switching from "hard mode" to "soft mode" as my S.O. and I have resumed sexual activities. She went along this journey with me. It's brought us closer together, believe it or not. She loves the changes she's seen in me, and she's learned a few things about herself as well :).
I do have to say that having her as a support system has been priceless.
I also have to thank this group, and all of you for your support along the way.
Thanks for simply "being here".
Regards, ...and let's keep on truckin'!