Age 60 - Rediscovered my own sexuality; can finally make love to my wife without porn fantasies

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couple kissing100 days ago I owned up to a long term porn addiction and took a 30 day challenge. It was hard in the early days and I leaned on many folks here for advice and support. So what have I learned that I can pass on to others?

First of all, the most important thing to recognize in the beginning is that you ARE a porn addict. Don't fool yourself by trying to just cut down or pretend you can be cured and that it will one day be safe again to peek at porn. Read all the posts on here, especially the success stories and the educational material explaining the effects of porn on your brain. Spending a few hours on the forum every day in the beginning will not only eductate you, it will condition you to use your internet time for non-porn viewing. You have to get to a point where you understand the effect of porn on your brain and make yourself a promise to undo the damage.

Second lesson for me was to take on new activities which do not involve looking at the internet- community service volunteering, excersising, starting a major house refurbishment are a few examples. Diverting your time away from porn temptation is crucial in the early days. If you get tempted while on line just go straight to this forum until the urge subsides or take a cold shower, run out of the house.....

Third lesson for me was use the success from beating the porn addiction as a confidence booster to take on new challenges. I decided to focus on getting fitter and losing weight. Dont try this to early, I started my additional challenges after meeting my 30 day goal.

Fourth lesson for me was the importance of sharing your thoughts with others. I am lucky to have a loving wife who has supported me throughout this 100 day journey. Simply telling somebody all about your addiction and desire to self improve lifts a huge weight of your shoulders. Remember you are not alone on this journey, if you dont have a partner, friend or counsellor to talk to, just send a PM to somebody on this forum.

Fifth lesson for me was adapting to be PMO free in a world surrounded by erotic images, explcit advertising and of course the totally unintentional click which throws up a link to a porn site on your screen. I slowly came to understand that I used to see every woman, real or in pixel form as a potential porn fantasy subject because my mind was in a constant state of sexual fantasy. After 100 days PMO free, my brain is being weaned of the porn high and my first thoughts when meeting somebody new is to relate to them as a person and not fantasize about them sexually. Yes you can eventually get over this addiction and see a hot babe on the beach and appreciate her natural beauty in a non sexual way. You can also watch movies with explicit nudity and just relate the scene to the plot.

Final lesson for me was to rediscover my own sexuality and learn how to make love to my wife without porn induced fanatsies. You can have lots of fun in the bedroom without porn on a screen and more importantly without porn in your head. Yes it does take time and a lot of patience but the pleasure from porn-free lovemaking far exceeds the short term buzz from PMO and as an added bonus you don't get that post PMO guilt or emptiness feeling.

So after 100 days how do I feel right now? My mind is much clearer, I used to wander around in a fog between PMO sessions. I am much more productive because I dont waste hours on PMO. I feel sharper, more confident and basically at peace with myself. My only regret is that it took me so long to get here but better late than never. I have decided not to reset my counter with another longer term goal, unless they put up an option for "The rest of my life"

I hope these lessons help you, if you are still reading this long post then you probably do need help!

Stay healthy my friends"............

Lingham

Thread: 100 days what lessons can I share?

BY - Lingham