Rebooting/Porn Use FAQs

Porn addiction questions Welcome to our FAQ page. If you have a question, ask it below. (After registering, click on "Add new comment.") The answers are based on years of hard-won wisdom shared by recovering users, whose comments are sometimes included along with relevant research. Most questions have multiple links.

If you want to understand the underlying mechanisms and brain changes behind porn addiction and related symptoms watch Your Brain On Porn: How Internet Porn Affects the Brain and Adolescent Brain Meets Highspeed Internet Porn. 

For more details on the science, read Start here for an overview of key concepts and follow the links, or visit the Articles section. This 18 minute video addresses common myths and propaganda - PORN MYTHS - The Truth Behind Addiction And Sexual Dysfunctions, by Gabe Deem

Sexual Problems

Rebooting Basics (see rebooting basics page)

Rebooting Challenges

Rebooting With a Partner:

Internet Porn Addiction:

Masturbation, Ejaculation, Prostate:

Odds & Ends:


Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunctions

guy cringing next to keyboard"It's hard to know exactly how many young men are suffering from porn-induced ED. But it's clear that this is a new phenomenon, and it's not rare." (link)

- Dr. Abraham Morgentaler, Director of Men’s Health Boston and Clinical Professor of Urology at Harvard Medical School

This phenomenon may have been new to Morgentaler, but US Surgeon General C. Everett Koop MD warned about it in a keynote address back on May 31, 1985:

"Pornography seems to have what I would call a "persistent presence" in ...sexual dysfunction. Pornography intervenes in normal sexual relationships and alters them in some way. It seems to provoke a dysfunctional response among certain people. I think we need to know how prevalent this is and how it works."

If you have a porn-induced sexual dysfunction (PIED or difficulties during partnered sex), the problem is not in your penis - it's in your brain. And research is starting to catch up with this reality. See Studies linking porn use or porn/sex addiction to sexual dysfunctions, lower brain activation to sexual stimuli, and lower sexual satisfaction. A good first step is to watch these videos:

  1. Porn-induced Erectile Dysfunction
  2. Porn-induced ED Reboot Advice Vlog: Gabe Deem
  3. Porn-induced ED recovery (Noah Church at The Mystery Box Show)
  4. Did Porn Cause My Erectile Dysfunction? TAKE THE TEST! (by Gabe Deem)
  5. TEDx talk by a young gay man who recovered from PIED and reclaimed his sexuality
  6. Porn-induced ED presented at the American Urologic Association Conference, May 6-10, 2016: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.
  7. The Basics of Rebooting, by Gabe Deem
  8. Adolescent Brain Meets High-speed Internet Porn (2013): Very applicable to young men with porn-induced ED or porn-induced fetishes.

Then read the "PIED START HERE" article which covers most of the basics. To delineate performance anxiety from PIED make sure you take the porn-related ED test.

Next, you need to read Rebooting Basics. Everyone wants to know How long will it take? Also read "HELP!" to prepare for the "flatline." See Rebooting Advice & Observations for pages of tips, advice, and motivation from those who have successfully recovered. If needed, here are useful tips for long rebooters.

For recovery stories, scroll down to Porn-Induced ED Recovery Stories. For longer more detailed stories of ED recovery see rebooting accounts1 and rebooting accounts2. Read about the growing numbers of experts recognizing and treating porn-induced ED, and recent studies on young men reporting a sharp rise in ED rates.

Finally, if you still have questions:

  1. look below,
  2. see the Porn FAQ's page, or
  3. read Gabe Deem answers common questions about PIED recovery.

Everything we know about PIED is on this page. Always keep in mind that every aspect of porn-induced ED is on a spectrum. You must judge what's right for you based on your history and current symptoms. Be flexible in your approach.

  • Please do not ask YBOP admins questions specific to your situation. YBOP does not diagnose or provide medical or sexual advice. YBOP strongly suggests you see a competent medical professional to rule out psychological issues, dietary deficiencies, hormonal imbalances, or other organic causes.
  • If your doctor confirms that you do not have an organic (below the belt) issue, and tells you that you are suffering from "performance anxiety," read this: What Experts Tell Guys Suffering From PIED

The Basics

The Basics: More Audio & Video Presentations

Commonly Asked Questions

Other Sexual Problems

Rebooting With a Partner

YBOP Blog Posts on Porn-Induced ED

Tales of Porn-Related ED

Porn-Induced ED Recovery Stories

General Information

Articles About Masturbation

Basic Physiological Research

Studies: Increasing Rates of Sexual Problems

Studies Linking Porn Use to Sexual Problems/Altered Libido

  1. Study: Is Internet Pornography Causing Sexual Dysfunctions? A Review with Clinical Reports (2016)
  2. Study: Male masturbation habits and sexual dysfunctions (2016)
  3. Study: The Dual Control Model - The Role Of Sexual Inhibition & Excitation In Sexual Arousal And Behavior (2007)
  4. Study: Neural Correlates of Sexual Cue Reactivity in Individuals with and without Compulsive Sexual Behaviours (2014)
  5. Study: Study sees link between porn and sexual dysfunction (2017)
  6. Study: Brain Structure and Functional Connectivity Associated With Pornography Consumption: The Brain on Porn (2014)
  7. Study: Unusual masturbatory practice as an etiological factor in the diagnosis and treatment of sexual dysfunction in young men (2014)
  8. Study: Adolescents and web porn: a new era of sexuality (2015)
  9. Study: Use of pornography in a random sample of Norwegian heterosexual couples (2009)
  10. Study: Online sexual activities: An exploratory study of problematic and non-problematic usage patterns in a sample of men (2016)
  11. Study: The effects of sexually explicit material use on romantic relationship dynamics (2016)
  12. Study: Masturbation and Pornography Use Among Coupled Heterosexual Men With Decreased Sexual Desire: How Many Roles of Masturbation? (2014)
  13. Study: Patient Characteristics by Type of Hypersexuality Referral: A Quantitative Chart Review of 115 Consecutive Male Cases (2015)
  14. Study: Sexual Desire, Not Hypersexuality, Is Related to Neurophysiological Responses Elicited by Sexual Images (2013)
  15. Study: Modulation of late positive potentials by sexual images in problem users and controls inconsistent with 'porn addiction' (2015)
  16. Study: Erectile Dysfunction, Boredom, and Hypersexuality among Coupled Men from Two European Countries (2015)
  17. Study: An Online Assessment of Personality, Psychological, and Sexuality Trait Variables Associated with Self-Reported Hypersexual Behavior (2015)
  18. Study: Men's Sexual Life and Repeated Exposure to Pornography. A New Issue? (2015)
  19. Study: Altered Appetitive Conditioning and Neural Connectivity in Subjects With Compulsive Sexual Behavior (2016)
  20. Study: Associative pathways between pornography consumption and reduced sexual satisfaction (2017)
  21. Study: “I think it has been a negative influence in many ways but at the same time I can’t stop using it”: Self-identified problematic pornography use among a sample of young Australians (2017)
  22. Study: Exploring the Relationship Between Erotic Disruption During the Latency Period and the Use of Sexually Explicit Material, Online Sexual Behaviors, and Sexual Dysfunctions in Young Adulthood (2009)
  23. Situational Psychogenic Anejaculation: A Case Study (2014)
  24. Study: How difficult is it to treat delayed ejaculation within a short-term psychosexual model? A case study comparison (2017)
  25. Studies: PDF of a lecture by Carlo Foresta, urology professor (2014)
  26. "Study": Erectile Dysfunction Forums Offer Raw Insight Into How Millions of Men Cope With The Condition. HuffPost (2015)

Porn-Induced ED in the Media: Primarily Experts

Since YBOP came on line (January, 2011) over 100 sexual experts (urology professors, urologists, psychiatrists, psychologists, sexologists, MDs) who acknowledge and treat porn-induced sexual problems have published articles or appeared on radio and TV. Note: Urologists have twice presented evidence of porn-induced sexual dysfunctions at annual conferences of the American Urological Association.

  1. Video of a lecture: Porn-induced ED (parts 1-4) presented at the American Urologic Association Conference, May 6-10, 2016. Urologist Tarek Pacha.
  2. New findings: Study sees link between porn and sexual dysfunction (2017) - Data from an upcoming study, presented at the 2017 American Urological Association Conference.

List of articles, broadcasts, radio shows, and podcasts that involve sexual experts who confirm the existence of porn-induced sexual dysfunctions:

  1. Too Much Internet Porn May Cause Impotence, urology professor Carlo Foresta (2011)
  2. The Young Turks discuss porn-induced ED (2011)
  3. Porning too much? by Robert Taibbi, L.C.S.W. (2012)
  4. Does Porn Contribute to ED? by Tyger Latham, Psy.D. in Therapy Matters (2012)
  5. Urologist Lim Huat Chye:  Pornography can cause erectile dysfunction for young men (2012)
  6. Director of Middlebury College Health Center, Dr. Mark Peluso, sees rise in ED: blames porn (2012)
  7. Sexual Dysfunction: The Escalating Price of Abusing Porn (2012)
  8. "Addicted to Viagra: They should be at their most virile, but a growing number of young men can’t cope without those little blue pills" (2012)
  9. Hardcore corruption of the human hard disk (2012)
  10. The Dr. Oz Show addresses Porn-induced ED (2013)
  11. Erectile dysfunction increases among young men, sex therapist Brandy Engler, PhD (2013)
  12. Internet Porn and Erectile Dysfunction, by Urologist James Elist, F.A.C.S., F.I.C.S. (2013)
  13. How porn is destroying modern sex lives: Feminist writer Naomi Wolf has an unsettling explanation for why Britons are having less sex (2013)
  14. Pornography & Erectile Dysfunction, by Lawrence A. Smiley M.D. (2013)
  15. Urologist Andrew Kramer discusses ED - including porn-induced ED (2013)
  16. Is Porn Destroying Your Sex Life? By Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S (2013)
  17. Too Much Internet Porn: The SADD Effect, by Ian Kerner PhD. (2013)
  18. Solutions for porn-induced erectile dysfunction, by Sudeepta Varma, MD, Psychiatry (2013)
  19. Dr. Rosalyn Dischiavo on porn-induced ED (2013)
  20. Did porn warp me forever? (2013)
  21. Radio Show: Young Psychiatrist Discusses His Porn-induced ED (2013)
  22. Video by Medical Doctor: Causes of ED in young men - includes Internet porn (2013)
  23. Chris Kraft, Ph.D. - Johns Hopkins sexologist discusses porn-induced sexual dysfunctions (2013)
  24. Why A Sex Therapist Worries About Teens Viewing Internet Porn, by Dr. Aline Zoldbrod (2013)
  25. Is “Normal” Porn Watching Affecting Your Manhood? by sexologist Maryline Décarie, M.A. (2013)
  26. 'Porn' makes men hopeless in bed: Dr Deepak Jumani, Sexologist Dhananjay Gambhire (2013)
  27. Need porn diet for three to five months to get an erection again, Alexandra Katehakis MFT, CSAT-S (2013)
  28. Just Can't Get It Up: (2013)
  29. Time-out cures man of Internet porn addiction & ED: CBS video, Dr. Elaine Brady (2013)
  30. Seven Sharp with Caroline Cranshaw - The damage caused by internet porn addiction (2013)
  31. Reality is not enough exciting (Swedish), psychiatrist Goran Sedvallson. urologist Stefan Arver, psychotherapist Inger Björklund (2013)
  32. Why porn and masturbation can be too much of a good thing, Dr. Elizabeth Waterman (2013)
  33. Dan Savage answers question about porn-induced ED (12-2013)        
  34. Irish Times: 'I can’t get stimulated unless I watch porn with my girlfriend' (2016)
  35. Erection problems from too much porn - Swedish (2013)
  36. Internet porn wrecking conjugal ties in India (Porn-induced ED), Dr. Narayana Reddy (2013)
  37. Pornography was the only one who got Donald aroused: Swedish (2013)
  38. Men who watch too much porn can't get it up, warns Manchester sex therapist (2014)
  39. What causes erectile dysfunction?, Dr. Lohit K, M.D (2014)
  40. Has Porn Ruined Our Sex Lives Forever? The Daily Dose. (2014)
  41. Suffering from ED? This Reason May Surprise You, by Michael S Kaplan, MD (2014)
  42. Is porn addiction on the rise in Bangalore? (2014)
  43. YBOP review of "The New Naked" by urologist Harry Fisch, MD (2014)
  44. Behind the documentary: Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction, Global News Canada (2014)
  45. 'Generation X-Rated' (Porn-Induced ED) - Urologist Abraham Morgentaler (2014)
  46. Porn-induced erectile dysfunction in healthy young men, Andrew Doan MD, PhD (2014)
  47. Catastrophic effects of adolescent porn addiction. Wrishi Raphael, MD (2014)
  48. Porn causing erectile dysfunction in young men, by Global News Canada (2014)                                                                                                                 
  49. LIVE BLOG: Porn-induced erectile dysfunction. Dr. Abraham Morgentaler, Gabe Deem (2014)
  50. Watching porn can cause male sexual dysfunction. Urologists David B. Samadi & Muhammed Mirza (2014)
  51. Looking at porn on the internet could ruin your sex life, doctor says. Harry Fisch, MD (2014)
  52. Online Videos Causing IRL Erectile Problems? by Andrew Smiler PhD (2014)
  53. Do You Masturbate Too Much? Urologist Tobias Köhler, Therapist Dan Drake (2014)
  54. How Online Sexual Stimulation Can Lead to In Real Life Sexual Dysfunction, by Jed Diamond PhD (2014)
  55. Too Much Porn Contributing to ED: Urologist Fawad Zafar (2014)
  56. Is Porn Erectile Dysfunction Fact or Fiction? by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC (2015)
  57. When porn becomes a problem (Irish Times). Sex therapists Trish Murphy, Teresa Bergin, Tony Duffy (2015)
  58. Porn Addiction, Porn Creep and Erectile Dysfunction By Billi Caine, B.Sc Psych, RN (2015)
  59. Online pornography and compulsive masturbation cause impotence in young, Emilio Loiacono MD (2015)
  60. Counsellors battle ‘plague of pornography’, psychologists Seema Hingorrany & Yolande Pereira, paediatrician, Samir Dalwai (2015)
  61. Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”, Vanity Fair (2015)
  62. TEDX talk about porn-induced ED & reclaiming one's sexuality: "How to Become a Sex God" by Gregor Schmidinger (2015)
  63. Torn on porn: A look at addiction & pornography. Dr. Charlotte Loppie, University of Victoria Professor in the School of Public Health (2016)
  64. Nurse wants residents to talk about erectile dysfunction. Lesley Mills, a consultant nurse in sexual dysfunction (2016)
  65. How internet porn is creating a generation of men desensitised to real life sex. Dr Andrew Smiler, Dr Angela Gregory (2016)
  66. BBC: Easy access to online porn is 'damaging' men's health, says NHS therapist. Psychosexual therapist Angela Gregory (2016)
  67. What to Do When You’re Dating a Guy with Problems Below the Belt. Sexologist Emily Morse, Ph.D. (2016)
  68. Non-prescription Viagra has infiltrated the bedrooms of today’s young black men. Urology professor David B. Samadi & Muhammed Mirza, MD founder of (2016)
  69. The Devastating Consequences of Pornography. Dr. Ursula Ofman (2016)
  70. "Porn addiction could ruin your sex life and here's why". Sexual function specialist Anand Patel MD, Sex therapist Janet Eccles, Neuroscientist Dr Nicola Ray (2016)
  71. Podcast: Porn-induced erectile dysfunction (PIED). By world renowned urologist Dudley Danoff & Dr. Diana Wiley (2016)
  72. The REAL reason young men suffer from erectile dysfunction, by Anand Patel, MD (2016)
  73. Turn away! Why pornography can harm your sex life. By urology professor Dr. David Samadi (2016)
  74. Urology Times asks: "What is driving younger men to seek treatment for ED?" Jason Hedges, MD, PhD (2016)
  75. Why Men are quitting Internet Porn (porn-induced ED), Andrew Doan, MD, PhD (2016)
  76. How the proliferation of porn is ruining men's love lives. By Angela Gregory Lead for Psychosexual Therapy, Chandos Clinic, Nottingham U. Secretary British Society of Sexual Medicine (2016)
  77. A lot of cases relating to erectile dysfunction relate to pornography addiction and use. Zoe Hargreaves, NHS Psychosexual Therapist (2016)
  78. The insidious impact of internet porn. by Rose Laing MD (2016)
  79. Salvaging sex life from erectile dysfunction, Dalal Akoury MD (2016)
  80. Non-prescription Viagra has infiltrated the bedrooms of today’s young black men. Urology professor David B. Samadi & Muhammed Mirza, MD founder of (2016)
  81. Too much porn can lead to ED, Malaysian men warned. Clinical andrologist Dr Mohd Ismail Mohd Tambi (2016)
  82. The black and white of blue films: How porn addiction damages relationships. by Sandip Deshpande, MD (2016)
  83. Private school principals get a lesson in porn. Sexuality educator Liz Walker (2016)
  84. Six Signs that your Partner has a Pornography Addiction & What you can Do. by Diana Baldwin LCSW (2016)
  85. Is Porn Good For Us or Bad For Us? by Philip Zimbardo PhD. (2016)
  86. How Porn is Hijacking the Sex Lives of Our Young Men. by Dr. Barbara Winter (2016)
  87. A shocking new TV show aired last night and it sees young people encouraged to air their sexual problems and woes. Dr. Vena Ramphal (2016)
  88. How To Solve Common Sexual Issues, Because They May Be Mental, Physical, Or Both. Eyal Matsliah author of "Orgasm Unleashed" (2016)
  89. South African therapists and sex educators say interventions are needed to stop today’s youngsters suffering serious health effects later in life due to pornography addiction (2016)
  90. Cybersex Addiction: A Case Study. Dorothy Hayden, LCSW (2016)
  91. How Porn Wrecks Relationships, Barbara Winter, Ph.D. (2016)
  92. Porn Can Help A Relationship, But Proceed With Caution. Amanda Pasciucco LMFT, CST; Wendy Haggerty LMFT, CST (2016)
  93. How Internet Porn Is Making Young Men Impotent. Sex therapist and associate of Impotence Australia, Alinda Small (2016)
  94. Video - Guyology founder Melisa Holmes MD talks about how boys develop porn-induced erectile dysfunction with many needing Viagra (2017)
  95. Video: Hormone expert Dr. Kathryn Retzler discusses porn-induced erectile dysfunction (2017)
  96. Video: Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction by Brad Salzman, LCSW, CSAT (2017)
  97. Irish children as young as seven are being exposed to porn. Dr Fergal Rooney (2017)
  98. Here's how porn is affecting Irish relationships. Sex therapist Teresa Bergin (2017)
  99. Is Technology Ruining Our Brains? (Comedy Central show). Alexandra Katehakis, MFT, CSAT-S, CST-S (2017)
  100. How to educate our youth about pornography addiction and dangers. Psychosexual therapists Nuala Deering & Dr. June Clyne (2017)
  101. Video - Can Porn Induce Erectile Dysfunction and Impotence? by Paul Kattupalli MD (2016)
  102. 'Porn is a public health crisis': experts call for government inquiry into health effects of porn. Sex therapist Mary Hodson (2017)
  103. Everything You Need To Know About Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction. Dr. Ralph Esposito; Elsa Orlandini Psy.D. (2017)
  104. Don’t let erectile dysfunction get you down. Psychotherapist Nuala Deering (2017)
  105. How watching porn can cause erectile dysfunction. Dr Lubda Nadvi (2017)
  106. This Is How Therapists Treat Young Men With "Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction". Sex therapist Alinda Small, clinical sexologist Tanya Koens, psychotherapist Dan Auerbach (2017)
  107. TEDx Talk "Sex, Porn & Manhood" (Professor Warren Binford, 2017)
  108. Online Porn: Fastest growing addiction in the U.S. Sex addiction therapist, Chris Simon (2017)
  109. Can Watching Too Much Porn Affect Your Sex Life? Jenner Bishop, LMFT; Psychotherapist Shirani M. Pathak (2017)
  110. Young people report 'persistent and distressing' problems with sex lives: study (2017)
  111. 'Tidal wave' of porn addiction as experts warn action is needed to save the next 'lost generation'. Psychosexual therapist Pauline Brown (2017)
  112. Young men who view more pornography experiencing erectile dysfunction, study says (Sex therapist Dr. Morgan Francis 2017)
  113. Erectile dysfunction pills are now the top party drug for British millennials. Sexual psychotherapist Raymond Francis, (2017)


Experts who recognize porn-induced sexual dysfunctions. Along with relevant studies

See this page for the many studies linking porn use or porn/sex addiction to sexual problems and relationship & sexual dissatisfaction (the first 5 studies demonstrate causation as participants eliminated porn use and healed chronic sexual dysfunctions):

  1. Study: Is Internet Pornography Causing Sexual Dysfunctions? A Review with Clinical Reports (2016)
  2. Study: Male masturbation habits and sexual dysfunctions (2016)
  3. Study: Situational Psychogenic Anejaculation: A Case Study (2014)
  4. Study: Unusual masturbatory practice as an etiological factor in the diagnosis and treatment of sexual dysfunction in young men (2014)
  5. Study: How difficult is it to treat delayed ejaculation within a short-term psychosexual model? A case study comparison (2017)
  6. Study: The Dual Control Model - The Role Of Sexual Inhibition & Excitation In Sexual Arousal And Behavior (2007) (Kinsey Institute researchers)
  7. Study: Online sexual activities: An exploratory study of problematic and non-problematic usage patterns in a sample of men (2016)
  8. Study: Neural Correlates of Sexual Cue Reactivity in Individuals with and without Compulsive Sexual Behaviours (2014)
  9. Study: Study sees link between porn and sexual dysfunction (2017)
  10. Study: Brain Structure and Functional Connectivity Associated With Pornography Consumption: The Brain on Porn (2014)
  11. Study: Adolescents and web porn: a new era of sexuality (2015)
  12. Study: The effects of sexually explicit material use on romantic relationship dynamics (2016)
  13. Study: Use of pornography in a random sample of Norwegian heterosexual couples (2009)
  14. Study: Masturbation and Pornography Use Among Coupled Heterosexual Men With Decreased Sexual Desire: How Many Roles of Masturbation?(2014)
  15. Study: Patient Characteristics by Type of Hypersexuality Referral: A Quantitative Chart Review of 115 Consecutive Male Cases (2015)
  16. Study: Sexual Desire, Not Hypersexuality, Is Related to Neurophysiological Responses Elicited by Sexual Images (2013)
  17. Study: Modulation of late positive potentials by sexual images in problem users and controls inconsistent with 'porn addiction' (2015)
  18. Study: An Online Assessment of Personality, Psychological, and Sexuality Trait Variables Associated with Self-Reported Hypersexual Behavior (2015)
  19. Study: Erectile Dysfunction, Boredom, and Hypersexuality among Coupled Men from Two European Countries (2015)
  20. Study: Associative pathways between pornography consumption and reduced sexual satisfaction (2017)
  21. Study: Altered Appetitive Conditioning and Neural Connectivity in Subjects With Compulsive Sexual Behavior (2016)
  22. Study: Men's Sexual Life and Repeated Exposure to Pornography. A New Issue? (2015)
  23. Study: “I think it has been a negative influence in many ways but at the same time I can’t stop using it”: Self-identified problematic pornography use among a sample of young Australians (2017)
  24. Study: Exploring the Relationship Between Erotic Disruption During the Latency Period and the Use of Sexually Explicit Material, Online Sexual Behaviors, and Sexual Dysfunctions in Young Adulthood (2009)
  25. Studies: PDF of a lecture by urology professor Carlo Foresta (2014)
  26. "Study": Erectile Dysfunction Forums Offer Raw Insight Into How Millions Of Men Cope With The Condition. HuffPost (2015)

Since YBOP came online in 2011 over 100 sexual experts (urology professors, urologists, psychiatrists, psychologists, sexologists, MDs) who acknowledge and treat porn-induced sexual problems have published articles or appeared on radio and TV. Note: Urologists have twice presented evidence of porn-induced sexual dysfunctions at annual conferences of the American Urological Association.

  1. Video of a lecture: Porn-induced ED (parts 1-4) presented at the American Urologic Association Conference, May 6-10, 2016. Urologist Tarek Pacha.
  2. New findings: Study sees link between porn and sexual dysfunction (2017) - Data from an upcoming study, presented at the 2017 American Urological Association Conference.

List of articles, broadcasts, radio shows, and podcasts that involve sexual experts who confirm the existence of porn-induced sexual dysfunctions:

  1. Too Much Internet Porn May Cause Impotence, urology professor Carlo Foresta (2011)
  2. The Young Turks discuss porn-induced ED (2011)
  3. Porning too much? by Robert Taibbi, L.C.S.W. (2012)
  4. Does Porn Contribute to ED? by Tyger Latham, Psy.D. in Therapy Matters (2012)
  5. Urologist Lim Huat Chye:  Pornography can cause erectile dysfunction for young men (2012)
  6. Director of Middlebury College Health Center, Dr. Mark Peluso, sees rise in ED: blames porn (2012)
  7. Sexual Dysfunction: The Escalating Price of Abusing Porn (2012)
  8. "Addicted to Viagra: They should be at their most virile, but a growing number of young men can’t cope without those little blue pills" (2012)
  9. Hardcore corruption of the human hard disk (2012)
  10. The Dr. Oz Show addresses Porn-induced ED (2013)
  11. Erectile dysfunction increases among young men, sex therapist Brandy Engler, PhD (2013)
  12. Internet Porn and Erectile Dysfunction, by Urologist James Elist, F.A.C.S., F.I.C.S. (2013)
  13. How porn is destroying modern sex lives: Feminist writer Naomi Wolf has an unsettling explanation for why Britons are having less sex (2013)
  14. Pornography & Erectile Dysfunction, by Lawrence A. Smiley M.D. (2013)
  15. Urologist Andrew Kramer discusses ED - including porn-induced ED (2013)
  16. Is Porn Destroying Your Sex Life? By Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S (2013)
  17. Too Much Internet Porn: The SADD Effect, by Ian Kerner PhD. (2013)
  18. Solutions for porn-induced erectile dysfunction, by Sudeepta Varma, MD, Psychiatry (2013)
  19. Dr. Rosalyn Dischiavo on porn-induced ED (2013)
  20. Did porn warp me forever? (2013)
  21. Radio Show: Young Psychiatrist Discusses His Porn-induced ED (2013)
  22. Video by Medical Doctor: Causes of ED in young men - includes Internet porn (2013)
  23. Chris Kraft, Ph.D. - Johns Hopkins sexologist discusses porn-induced sexual dysfunctions (2013)
  24. Why A Sex Therapist Worries About Teens Viewing Internet Porn, by Dr. Aline Zoldbrod (2013)
  25. Is “Normal” Porn Watching Affecting Your Manhood? by sexologist Maryline Décarie, M.A. (2013)
  26. 'Porn' makes men hopeless in bed: Dr Deepak Jumani, Sexologist Dhananjay Gambhire (2013)
  27. Need porn diet for three to five months to get an erection again, Alexandra Katehakis MFT, CSAT-S (2013)
  28. Just Can't Get It Up: (2013)
  29. Time-out cures man of Internet porn addiction & ED: CBS video, Dr. Elaine Brady (2013)
  30. Seven Sharp with Caroline Cranshaw - The damage caused by internet porn addiction (2013)
  31. Reality is not enough exciting (Swedish), psychiatrist Goran Sedvallson. urologist Stefan Arver, psychotherapist Inger Björklund (2013)
  32. Why porn and masturbation can be too much of a good thing, Dr. Elizabeth Waterman (2013)
  33. Dan Savage answers question about porn-induced ED (12-2013)        
  34. Irish Times: 'I can’t get stimulated unless I watch porn with my girlfriend' (2016)
  35. Erection problems from too much porn - Swedish (2013)
  36. Internet porn wrecking conjugal ties in India (Porn-induced ED), Dr. Narayana Reddy (2013)
  37. Pornography was the only one who got Donald aroused: Swedish (2013)
  38. Men who watch too much porn can't get it up, warns Manchester sex therapist (2014)
  39. What causes erectile dysfunction?, Dr. Lohit K, M.D (2014)
  40. Has Porn Ruined Our Sex Lives Forever? The Daily Dose. (2014)
  41. Suffering from ED? This Reason May Surprise You, by Michael S Kaplan, MD (2014)
  42. Is porn addiction on the rise in Bangalore? (2014)
  43. YBOP review of "The New Naked" by urologist Harry Fisch, MD (2014)
  44. Behind the documentary: Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction, Global News Canada (2014)
  45. 'Generation X-Rated' (Porn-Induced ED) - Urologist Abraham Morgentaler (2014)
  46. Porn-induced erectile dysfunction in healthy young men, Andrew Doan MD, PhD (2014)
  47. Catastrophic effects of adolescent porn addiction. Wrishi Raphael, MD (2014)
  48. Porn causing erectile dysfunction in young men, by Global News Canada (2014)                                                                                                                 
  49. LIVE BLOG: Porn-induced erectile dysfunction. Dr. Abraham Morgentaler, Gabe Deem (2014)
  50. Watching porn can cause male sexual dysfunction. Urologists David B. Samadi & Muhammed Mirza (2014)
  51. Looking at porn on the internet could ruin your sex life, doctor says. Harry Fisch, MD (2014)
  52. Online Videos Causing IRL Erectile Problems? by Andrew Smiler PhD (2014)
  53. Do You Masturbate Too Much? Urologist Tobias Köhler, Therapist Dan Drake (2014)
  54. How Online Sexual Stimulation Can Lead to In Real Life Sexual Dysfunction, by Jed Diamond PhD (2014)
  55. Too Much Porn Contributing to ED: Urologist Fawad Zafar (2014)
  56. Is Porn Erectile Dysfunction Fact or Fiction? by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC (2015)
  57. When porn becomes a problem (Irish Times). Sex therapists Trish Murphy, Teresa Bergin, Tony Duffy (2015)
  58. Porn Addiction, Porn Creep and Erectile Dysfunction By Billi Caine, B.Sc Psych, RN (2015)
  59. Online pornography and compulsive masturbation cause impotence in young, Emilio Loiacono MD (2015)
  60. Counsellors battle ‘plague of pornography’, psychologists Seema Hingorrany & Yolande Pereira, paediatrician, Samir Dalwai (2015)
  61. Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”, Vanity Fair (2015)
  62. TEDX talk about porn-induced ED & reclaiming one's sexuality: "How to Become a Sex God" by Gregor Schmidinger (2015)
  63. Torn on porn: A look at addiction & pornography. Dr. Charlotte Loppie, University of Victoria Professor in the School of Public Health (2016)
  64. Nurse wants residents to talk about erectile dysfunction. Lesley Mills, a consultant nurse in sexual dysfunction (2016)
  65. How internet porn is creating a generation of men desensitised to real life sex. Dr Andrew Smiler, Dr Angela Gregory (2016)
  66. BBC: Easy access to online porn is 'damaging' men's health, says NHS therapist. Psychosexual therapist Angela Gregory (2016)
  67. What to Do When You’re Dating a Guy with Problems Below the Belt. Sexologist Emily Morse, Ph.D. (2016)
  68. Non-prescription Viagra has infiltrated the bedrooms of today’s young black men. Urology professor David B. Samadi & Muhammed Mirza, MD founder of (2016)
  69. The Devastating Consequences of Pornography. Dr. Ursula Ofman (2016)
  70. "Porn addiction could ruin your sex life and here's why". Sexual function specialist Anand Patel MD, Sex therapist Janet Eccles, Neuroscientist Dr Nicola Ray (2016)
  71. Podcast: Porn-induced erectile dysfunction (PIED). By world renowned urologist Dudley Danoff & Dr. Diana Wiley (2016)
  72. The REAL reason young men suffer from erectile dysfunction, by Anand Patel, MD (2016)
  73. Turn away! Why pornography can harm your sex life. By urology professor Dr. David Samadi (2016)
  74. Urology Times asks: "What is driving younger men to seek treatment for ED?" Jason Hedges, MD, PhD (2016)
  75. Why Men are quitting Internet Porn (porn-induced ED), Andrew Doan, MD, PhD (2016)
  76. How the proliferation of porn is ruining men's love lives. By Angela Gregory Lead for Psychosexual Therapy, Chandos Clinic, Nottingham U. Secretary British Society of Sexual Medicine (2016)
  77. A lot of cases relating to erectile dysfunction relate to pornography addiction and use. Zoe Hargreaves, NHS Psychosexual Therapist (2016)
  78. The insidious impact of internet porn. by Rose Laing MD (2016)
  79. Salvaging sex life from erectile dysfunction, Dalal Akoury MD (2016)
  80. Non-prescription Viagra has infiltrated the bedrooms of today’s young black men. Urology professor David B. Samadi & Muhammed Mirza, MD founder of (2016)
  81. Too much porn can lead to ED, Malaysian men warned. Clinical andrologist Dr Mohd Ismail Mohd Tambi (2016)
  82. The black and white of blue films: How porn addiction damages relationships. by Sandip Deshpande, MD (2016)
  83. Private school principals get a lesson in porn. Sexuality educator Liz Walker (2016)
  84. Six Signs that your Partner has a Pornography Addiction & What you can Do. by Diana Baldwin LCSW (2016)
  85. Is Porn Good For Us or Bad For Us? by Philip Zimbardo PhD. (2016)
  86. How Porn is Hijacking the Sex Lives of Our Young Men. by Dr. Barbara Winter (2016)
  87. A shocking new TV show aired last night and it sees young people encouraged to air their sexual problems and woes. Dr. Vena Ramphal (2016)
  88. How To Solve Common Sexual Issues, Because They May Be Mental, Physical, Or Both. Eyal Matsliah author of "Orgasm Unleashed" (2016)
  89. South African therapists and sex educators say interventions are needed to stop today’s youngsters suffering serious health effects later in life due to pornography addiction (2016)
  90. Cybersex Addiction: A Case Study. Dorothy Hayden, LCSW (2016)
  91. How Porn Wrecks Relationships, Barbara Winter, Ph.D. (2016)
  92. Porn Can Help A Relationship, But Proceed With Caution. Amanda Pasciucco LMFT, CST; Wendy Haggerty LMFT, CST (2016)
  93. How Internet Porn Is Making Young Men Impotent. Sex therapist and associate of Impotence Australia, Alinda Small (2016)
  94. Video - Guyology founder Melisa Holmes MD talks about how boys develop porn-induced erectile dysfunction with many needing Viagra (2017)
  95. Video: Hormone expert Dr. Kathryn Retzler discusses porn-induced erectile dysfunction (2017)
  96. Video: Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction by Brad Salzman, LCSW, CSAT (2017)
  97. Irish children as young as seven are being exposed to porn. Dr Fergal Rooney (2017)
  98. Here's how porn is affecting Irish relationships. Sex therapist Teresa Bergin (2017)
  99. Is Technology Ruining Our Brains? (Comedy Central show). Alexandra Katehakis, MFT, CSAT-S, CST-S (2017)
  100. How to educate our youth about pornography addiction and dangers. Psychosexual therapists Nuala Deering & Dr. June Clyne (2017)
  101. Video - Can Porn Induce Erectile Dysfunction and Impotence? by Paul Kattupalli MD (2016)
  102. 'Porn is a public health crisis': experts call for government inquiry into health effects of porn. Sex therapist Mary Hodson (2017)
  103. Everything You Need To Know About Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction. Dr. Ralph Esposito; Elsa Orlandini Psy.D. (2017)
  104. Don’t let erectile dysfunction get you down. Psychotherapist Nuala Deering (2017)
  105. How watching porn can cause erectile dysfunction. Dr Lubda Nadvi (2017)
  106. This Is How Therapists Treat Young Men With "Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction". Sex therapist Alinda Small, clinical sexologist Tanya Koens, psychotherapist Dan Auerbach (2017)
  107. TEDx Talk "Sex, Porn & Manhood" (Professor Warren Binford, 2017)
  108. Online Porn: Fastest growing addiction in the U.S. Sex addiction therapist, Chris Simon (2017)
  109. Can Watching Too Much Porn Affect Your Sex Life? Jenner Bishop, LMFT; Psychotherapist Shirani M. Pathak (2017)
  110. Young people report 'persistent and distressing' problems with sex lives: study (2017)
  111. 'Tidal wave' of porn addiction as experts warn action is needed to save the next 'lost generation'. Psychosexual therapist Pauline Brown (2017)
  112. Young men who view more pornography experiencing erectile dysfunction, study says (Sex therapist Dr. Morgan Francis 2017)
  113. Erectile dysfunction pills are now the top party drug for British millennials. Sexual psychotherapist Raymond Francis, (2017)


"Addicted to Viagra: They should be at their most virile, but a growing number of young men can’t cope without those little blue pills"

disgruntled couple in bedBy Tanith Carey

To the casual observer, bachelor Daniel Atkinson looks like any other healthy, athletic young man in the prime of his life. 

Six foot tall with chiselled cheekbones and a trim physique, Daniel admits he never has any difficulty attracting the opposite sex.

But Daniel, 32, has a very intimate secret. When he wants to have sex with a woman, he needs up to two Viagra pills to perform.

Intimidated: Young men are becoming increasingly nervous of today's confident, self-assured women

The blue tablets, which are available on the NHS, have long been viewed as essential medication for men in their 50s, 60s and beyond.

But Daniel is one of a growing number of young males turning to the drug due to performance anxiety, triggered by a host of psychological issues from the proliferation of porn on the internet making ‘normal’ sex seem boring, to financial pressures.

Viagra was even blamed for its part in the suicide of a 24-year-old writer earlier this year, after his girlfriend discovered he was secretly using it.

James Andrews’s body was found on a railway line between Bristol and Bath on Valentine’s Day. An inquest into his death revealed how he’d rowed with girlfriend Eleanor Sharpe — a ballet dancer who appeared in the Olympic closing ceremony — over his use of the drug, despite the pair enjoying a ‘normal physical relationship’

Daniel, now an entertainment promoter, was just 20 and on a weekend with friends in Amsterdam when he took his first pill. It was supplied to him by a friend, after he had picked up a girl.

Even though he had never had erectile problems, he was so impressed by the extra stamina it gave him he continued to take the drug with subsequent girlfriends. 

On two occasions, he was even prescribed it by his GP, albeit with warnings about the long-term effects such as blue-tinged vision, heart problems and hearing loss.

Now Daniel says he always has a stockpile of the drug — on which he says he spends up to £1,000 a year — either by consulting private doctors or by picking up supplies when he travels to Spain for work.

‘The doctors there will prescribe them to you on the spot. Then you go to the chemist and get a supply. There’s always English people queueing who are after the same thing.’

Yet Daniel, who lives in London, is in despair over his reliance on the drug: 

He says: ‘I diet, I exercise at the gym regularly and I am almost as fit as I was when I was a teenager. I love the company of women and always have. But now I am in my 30s, I have been exposed to so much sex, I sometimes find it hard to do without Viagra.


 Pills: Many men have turned to Viagra to boost their confidence but results aren't always as expected


More than 70 per cent of male internet users aged 18 to 34 visit a pornographic site in a typical month

‘No matter how I’m feeling, what’s going through my head, or how attracted to the woman I’m with, it makes no difference. Now, if I know I’m due to see a woman, I discreetly take two pills beforehand.’

By taking up to six tablets a week, Daniel is aware of the health risks.

'Young men addicted to Viagra' Daniel Harris from Shenley, Herts      

 Performance anxiety: Daniel relies on Viagra

The drug contains sildenafil citrate and works by improving blood flow in the penis. Daniel admits he sometimes experiences ringing in his ears. But despite the dangers, he feels as a single man he has little choice. 

‘I know it’s bad for my health,’ he says. ‘I can hear my heart palpitating when I take the tablets, and I come out in cold sweats. Sometimes the beating is so loud, I think I am going to have a heart attack. I need some help to stop.’

So why is a drug, once linked to greying, paunchy men past their prime, now taking over the sex lives of the young and seemingly virile?

What’s more, what does it say about our sexualised society where even the natural prowess of youth is not enough for the young men of today?

Harley Street psychosexual counsellor Raymond Francis says he sees about 15 men a month who feel dependent on Viagra. The average age is about 32 — his youngest client is just 27.

But Raymond, who is based at the Apex Practice, says: ‘I think this is just a small sample of the problem. These men don’t have any physical problems that would cause erectile difficulties. Instead they feel they need it because they are putting too many expectations on themselves — based on what they believe women want in the bedroom.’

In many cases, Raymond says his male patients have been influenced by seeing internet pornography from a young age. ‘Sometimes these men will have deeply embedded and unrealistic expectations of the women they want to have sex with — or what they should be able to do.’ 

One such patient is Sam, 31, who was dependent on the drug throughout much of his 20s before he sought help two years ago. 

Sam places the root of his problem on internet porn, which he says he started viewing when he was 12 — long before he lost his virginity. ‘Seeing all these studs going for hours on end seemed to underline what I couldn’t do,’ he says.

‘I felt so ashamed. I once mentioned it to my GP but he was very unsympathetic so I never dared bring the subject up again with anyone. I started ordering them on the web, even though I was never sure what I was getting.’

But though Sam found the drugs nearly always helped him perform, ultimately they became a barrier to him finding a long-term, intimate relationship.

Sam says: ‘When I had a girlfriend, I’d take Viagra first thing in the morning, so I’d get the sex over and done with under controlled conditions.’

Man secretly looking at pornography on laptop.      The curse of porn: Internet porn has left many men worrying about their stamina and sexual prowess    

Keeping his reliance on the drug secret, however, placed unbearable pressure on relationships: ‘It meant I could never fully commit emotionally because I couldn’t be honest about this most basic thing. My relationships never got off the ground. It was all getting so stressful I started avoiding sex. The women I met seemed so confident, I felt I couldn’t live up to what they wanted. I felt like a failure.’

It was when Sam fell in love with his new partner Emily after they met at a party that he realised he needed help.

‘The first time we slept together, I took it secretly, but the expectations were high because she was so special to me. So that time, even Viagra didn’t work. I could see she was worried and upset it was her fault, so I decided I had to be candid — and told her everything.’

Sam now has a normal sexual relationship with his partner. ‘It took six months of counselling, but thanks to her, I found the courage to look at the underlying issues.’

Raymond says another common thing is men reporting they feel intimidated by the sexual confidence and demands of modern young women.

‘Women are now so empowered,’ says Raymond. ‘They feel they have as much right as men to dictate the pace sexually. We are not just talking about girls who would once have been seen as promiscuous. 

‘These days a professional career woman who has been brought up in a culture of success wants to exercise that freedom and strength in her sex life, too.

‘In just one or two generations, there has been a turnaround. Before, it was always the expectation that the man was the predator. Now ladette culture has turned that on its head. Faced with this pressure, young men bring performance fears to the bedroom long before any sex takes place.’

One such sexually confident woman is Nicola, an attractive finance worker in her late 20s who admits it was partly the sexual demands she put on her partner which helped trigger the anxieties that contributed to his impotence.

‘When the sex wasn’t great, I was honest about how frustrated I was from the outset, which made the problem worse,’ she says. 

‘We tried Viagra, but it felt like a planned event. So now I don’t want him to tell me if he’s taken it or not. I just want to think the sex was naturally great.’

Nicola says her attitude to sex is typical of her generation, and many of her girlfriends are reporting similar problems in the bedroom.

Confident modern women    Modern: Women today know what they want in bed - and for many young men, that's terrifying    

She says: ‘Women our age probably do have more of a sexual past. I’ve had 15 partners, while my partner’s only had five, so that’s another layer of pressure on him. Because I’m quite skilled sexually, he probably wonders where I learned it from and how he compares.’

Another reason male patients in their 30s turn to Viagra is the pressure on them to produce babies within a strict timeframe.

Raymond says: ‘These are men in conventional partnerships where the woman has chosen to defer birth until her career is established and then finds it difficult to get pregnant.

‘These men feel pressured to perform at a prescribed time and the sex becomes mechanistic, rather than borne out of passion and desire. The pressure on the man becomes horrific and he feels he needs to have Viagra up his sleeve.’ 

The NHS spends around £58 million a year handing out more than £17 million repeat prescriptions for impotence drugs.

At the moment, only men with health conditions — prostate cancer, diabetes, multiple sclerosis or kidney failure — that are known to reduce their sex drive are supposed to get them for free, though many psychosexual counsellors say it is being given to younger men with no physical reasons for impotence.

Managers at several NHS trusts are encouraging doctors to limit the number of tablets handed out to cut costs.

As the drug’s manufacturer Pfizer points out, the drug should be taken only with a prescription from a healthcare professional and used according to the guidance on the label. It says studies have found it is not physically addictive. But even if the addiction is all in the mind, there is no doubt the drug is distorting lives. 

Over the past six years, Janice Hiller, a clinical psychologist who heads the Sexual Health Psychological Services team at Goodmayes Hospital in Essex, says she has seen an increase in the number of male patients dependent on Viagra. Her youngest patient has been 22.

Janice blames the trend on an increasingly sexualised society and the unrealistic expectations raised by the internet.

She says: ‘Young men feel women expect sex very early on in a relationship, perhaps on the first or second date, and that creates performance anxiety if they are not really confident.

‘After they have been exposed to a lot of internet porn, the major stimulus for men can become the pornographic image rather than the girl they are with. That can be damaging. These images go round in their heads and they then cannot become aroused with a real girl.

‘Usually men seek help when they meet a woman they really like and are desperate for it to work. In those cases, we have to talk about how the length of a sex session is not the most important thing for women, and how they really want all sorts of other things in a relationship, too.’

For married couples, the discovery that a husband is secretly taking Viagra can also be devastating, says Janice. 

‘Women who do find out often feel they have become unattractive to their partners,’ she says.

‘Viagra is enormously helpful if used in a managed, thoughtful way among those who need it. But in younger men it does not solve a problem. More often than not it adds a new level of anxiety.’

Chartered Clinical Psychologist Dr Abigael San, who has treated patients caught in a circle of Viagra use, says: ‘These younger men believe they are only satisfying a woman because they are using the drug. The solution becomes the problem.’

The taboo around Viagra use among young men is so great that despite the embarrassment factor, Daniel is speaking up because he feels it’s time the issue was more openly discussed.

‘I am not ashamed of my dependence — I know so many guys my age with the same issues who started off using it recreationally and now find it hard to stop.

‘I think many of us wish we’d never taken it that first time. I, for one, would love to be free of it.’

The Apex Practice: 020 7467 8536, Some names have been changed.

"I can't orgasm during sex, only masturbation"

Guardian - Sex adviceComments: First notice that neither the man asking the question, nor the expert answering it mention Internet porn. Second, notice that several comments (also included below) believe porn use is the cause. One woman's boyfriend had porn-induced ED and still has residual delayed ejaculation.

I can't orgasm during sex, only masturbation

I am a healthy man but I am unable to orgasm after 20 minutes of vaginal sex, so I give up. Am I missing out?


I'm a healthy 32-year-old man, but am unable to orgasm through vaginal sex. I could probably get there eventually, but usually give up after 15-20 minutes, though I'm capable of reaching orgasm while masturbating. I know sex shouldn't be goal-orientated, but I feel I'm missing out.


Self-pleasuring as a youngster is an important sexual step; a way of learning how your body works. However, sometimes a person's masturbating style is one that does not easily bridge to partner sex. For example, if a man gets used to a very rough style of masturbation, no vagina will provide the necessary level of friction. Consider your self-pleasuring style – might you need to practise a different type of stroke or pressure that could be more conducive to a vaginal climax?

Another obstacle to orgasming during intercourse can be lack of focus. Some people are easily distracted, and this interferes with the sexual response. Consider if intrusive thoughts or feelings are getting in the way, and if so, try to focus solely on sensation and the giving and receiving of pleasure.

An underlying fear of pregnancy, disease or loss of control can also be detrimental to satisfying intercourse. But since you enjoy your sex life, I'm not sure you are really "missing out". The more you worry about it, the less likely you are to climax the way you wish.

Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders. If you would like advice from Pamela Stephenson Connolly on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to <a href=""">"></a> (please don't send attachments).



The odds are that you're wanking to porn too much. If you Google "your brain on porn" you'll see that many men who use "too much" internet porn are having difficulties with real life sex. Note, this post is NOT a judgement on the morality of porn or wanking, and neither is that site. There is much useful info on there which can help you get your mojo back.

The best of luck.

BlughGrant to xtrapnel

I googled what you suggested, and the result was both informative and potentially very useful. Genuine thanks!

cbr600 to xtrapnel

Very good advice.

Dunnyboy to xtrapnel

The fact that so many people (presumably men), have recommended your post just goes to show many men have already already been there and taken the advice on board.

petgaijin to xtrapnel

Forgive me, great advice but googling 'Porn on the Brain' would work too. That's the title of that Channel 4 documentary from last year.

bobbymac1956 to xtrapnel

If he's wanking too much then he should not be googling porn anyway .

Dunnyboy to xtrapnel

It's quite interesting really. Men pass around links to these kind of sites in IMs and emails, and usually get a "thanks, best advice ever" reply from their friends a few weeks later, but naturally they never post them on their Facebook profile. There should be a CiF article on it.

petgaijin to bobbymac1956

No,no! There's a lot of evidence out now that masturbating to porn can become an addiction the same as heroin, etc. And one of the search term/s for now anyway is, 'your brain on porn'...maybe hinting at 'your brain on drugs' and 'porn on the brain' possibly after that documentary.

That said, evidence-proven medical and many, many examples of anecdotal evidence would completely agree with you.

raerae25 to xtrapnel

I wondered this.

My boyfriend of over two years had erectile dysfunction when I met him. I discovered that at his zenith he would masturbate to pornography about 9 times per day.

After some discussion - and at the risk of me looking like a jealous girlfriend - I convinced him to pack it in. After a few months he was able to obtain an erection for intercourse. However he still occasionally turns to porn and he can only very, very occasionally (about 4 times in our relationship) orgasm during intercourse. To orgasm he needs to masturbate with an image at a distance.

This Ted Talk illustrates this problem.

Obviously this is not necessarily the writer's problem, but considering the deal of discussion currently surrounding the connection between regular internet porn use and erectile/ sexual dysfunctions I find it strange that Pamela doesn't mention it as a possibility.

It is probably, as you infer in your comment, that folks are very afraid of coming across as positively Victorian if they criticise or even question the pornocopia.

elmondo2012 to xtrapnel

Agreed - Your brain on porn: Evolution has not prepared your brain for today's Internet porn.

whitworthflange to xtrapnel

You're just tossing that off aren't you? How the hell do you know what his internet habits are?

raerae25 to whitworthflange

The writer of said comment is simply making a plausible suggestion, not administering a fact.

A large percentage of men (and a lesser but still substantial percentage of women) watch porn on a regular basis. Social scientists and neuroscientists are getting to grips with evidence of potential effects of this. Not to be moralistic, but one such effect is erectile dysfunction and problems with sexual intercourse based on a number of factors.

Considering this, it seems plausible given this climate that the original writer MIGHT have this problem.
Many men I have spoken to who do, don't consider porn as being potentially one of the reasons they struggle with sexual intercourse because these days, arguably, it is taken as a 'given' that men watch porn and that is, that arbitrary word, 'normal', hence not problematic or potentially damaging.

'How my porn addiction led to erectile dysfunction’ (BBC radio)

'Internet Porn and Erectile Dysfunction' by Urologist James Elist, F.A.C.S., F.I.C.S.

Dr. Elist - urologist“Being in private practice for more than 30 years now, I have seen, diagnosed, and treated many men with erectile dysfunction. While erectile dysfunction (ED) used to be an “old guy’s issue”, in the recent times it seems as if more and more younger men are complaining of erectile issues and seek treatment for the problem”, says James Elist, MD, FACS, a Beverly Hills urologist.

I had been approached by a local paper asking for reasons of ED and treatment options (the above is an outtake of the interview). Indeed, more younger men than before visit us asking for solutions, and I have noticed that more men in their early and late 30′s are using supplements for better erections. Now, why is that so?

Internet Porn and Erectile Dysfunction Correlation in Reports:

A recent study measuring the severity of ED in men seeking help revealed that 48 percent of young Italians had severe ED as compared with only 40 percent of those over 40. The younger guys were healthier, thinner and had higher testosterone. Another study from 2012 found that 30 percent of young men were experiencing some degree of ED.

The data is very alarming when compared to the Kinsey study published in 1949: based on the detailed interview of 12,000 males, stratified for age, education and occupation indicated an increasing rate of impotence with age. Its prevalence was cited as less than 1 percent in men under 19 years of age, 3 percent of men less than 45 years, 7 percent less than 55 years and 25 percent by the age of 75 years. Based on this study, ED in younger than 40 year olds was not even a real issue back then.
The data rang the bell to ask the question why? What has changed when comparing now and then?

Raising Alarm on Porn and Erectile Dysfunction:

One main reason seems to be the easy access to streaming Internet porn, but how could we relate porn and erectile dysfunction? Indeed, many US based urologists and psychologist raised the alarm about addiction to interned and erectile dysfunction in young men. In fact, the number of 20 and 30 year old using Viagra and co. has increased over the last few years, observed in my office but also in the many internet forums with guys reporting their problems and their dependency on erectile dysfunction drugs.

Some would probably say: What’s the problem if it works? Well, if it was that easy of a solution, nobody would be concerned at all, right? Fact is that the early use of erectile dysfunction drugs does not only cause a psychological dependency, but also a habitual response from the body with overtime decreased response and no effects at all over time. Young guys using erectile dysfunction drugs do not only harm their sexual behavior psychologically, but also negatively affect their bodies physiologically. The solution seems to be again in preventative measures rather than treatment. And a behavioral change seems to be the first and most appropriate step towards recovery. The good news is that when men give up Internet porn use, their sexual dysfunctions generally reverse themselves. Some need months, however young men require more time to achieve normal sexual functioning than older men.

Addiction to Internet Porn and Erectile Dysfunction:

In order to stress the severity of porn consumption and its effects on early onset ED we need to consider all possible factors causing ED.

Another possible cause for early onset ED seems to be recreational activities young men engage in like smoking, drug and alcohol abuse. However, such habits cause cumulative problems over many years. These elements seem to be another reasonable explanation as young men generally lack all the risk factors for ED such as vascular deterioration or other diseases that tend to cause ED in older men. However, smoking in young men is at an all time low, and drug use and binge drinking have also dropped in young adults.

One other factor affecting early onset ED might be mental health problems which include substance abuse and addiction. Addiction can sometimes cause symptoms that mimic other mental health disorders: concentration trouble, mood swings, anxiety, sleep disorders, depression, decreased pleasure response, etc.

Addiction to Internet Porn and Erectile Dysfunction Treatment:

As observed in the above statement, recreational drugs, smoking, and mental health seem, compared to internet porn consumption, to be making up rather the smaller portion of elements being responsible for early onset ED.

Last but not least, what is the solution for porn induced ED in young male population?

Withdrawal and cutting porn consumption seems to be the most effective way for regaining the proper sexual function. If you or your partner is able to achieve an erection and ejaculate when watching a porn, but is not able to do so when having sex, you should be concerned about porn induced young onset ED. Cutting porn is the best way, but may take months and sometimes even more to show effects. Regardless of age and duration, if you have noticed any of the above, it is time for you to turn off the PC and possibly think about seeing a counselor for evaluation and advice.

Link to original article


'Porn is a public health crisis': experts call for government inquiry into health effects of porn. sex therapist Mary Hodson (2017)

Martin Tasker 1 NEWS Sport Reporter (Link to Article & Video)

Pornography might be a difficult subject to discuss for many, but experts say it is causing huge damage to individuals and the community. There are calls for a parliamentary inquiry into the public health effects and societal harms of pornography. There are now calls for a parliamentary inquiry into the public health effects and societal harms of what's being described as a "public health crisis".

Anti violence campaigner, Richie Hardcore first discovered porn when he was just 10-years-old.

While he's never been addicted and has since stopped, Mr Hardcore says porn did shape his views of sex and relationships negatively.

"With all the focus on the physical side of things, you know there's never any discussion about mutuality of pleasure or feelings or intimacy, porn's very mechanical and it follows a set narrative," he said.

Technology has made adult content more readily available than ever before.

There's now a generation who've been educated about sex through the internet.

One mother said her son is only 12-year-old and watching pornography.

"He was searching for how to have sex, he was looking at x-rated videos every single day," she said.

"I think long term, there will be issues to do with his social interactions with women."

Mary Hodson is a sex therapist who has seen the consequences of porn addiction first hand.

"Their sexual intimacy skills are not appropriate they're more about what they've learned as they've watched porn and their partners are starting to say things like, ' I feel that it's disconnected, maybe even abusive'," she said.

Ms Hodson represents over 20 sex therapy clinics nationwide and believes New Zealand's at a tipping point. 

"We're seeing a lot of young men now in the early 20s age group, who have met all their needs through masturbation and internet porn and once they get into a relationship they find they have erectile dysfunction."

Now the Chief Censor wants the government and regulators to intervene, with a comprehensive approach that includes education and discussion, suggesting Kiwis need to be concerned about the harm from pornography.

"Porn is a public health crisis," said  Family First director, Bob McCoskrie.

Family First has launched a petition, calling for a parliamentary enquiry into the health effects.

"I think they should be open enough to appoint an expert panel and wait to see what they say, I think they should be open enough and honest enough to say, yeah okay let's look at the research," said Mr McCoskrie.

Labour, the Green Party and Act agree more research is needed. 

New Zealand First and the Maori Party are still unsure. 

But National and United Future say the health impact of porn, for them, is not a priority.


'Porn' makes men hopeless in bed: Dr Deepak Jumani, Sexologist Dhananjay Gambhire

'Porn' makes men hopeless in bed

Lisa Antao, TNN Sep 5, 2013,

It's a known fact that most men watch porn. But are you one of those guys who regularly get their dose of viewing adult material on the internet?

And in doing so, have you become sort of a global citizen in the world of porn? If yes, then you could be heading for trouble, especially if you're under the impression that viewing things people do in videos can actually make you better in the sack. According to a research study, watching online porn can affect men's performance in the bedroom.

The findings of the study states that exposure to porn is desensitising young men to such an extent that they are unable to get excited by ordinary sexual activities. This is the result of over stimulation of dopamine (a neurotransmitter that activates the pleasure centre in the brain) on a continuous basis by watching pornography. In the process, a paradoxical effect gets generated whereby the brain loses its ability to respond to normal levels of dopamine when it gets used to a higher spike of dopamine. This means that individuals need experiences of an extreme nature to get sexually aroused.

Let's cite the case of 31-year-old Abhinav Varma (name changed), an IT professional who's totally hooked on to watching porn online and has been married since the past four years. "Like most regular guys, I too have been watching porn since I was a teenager. However, with the passage of time there's such easy availability of a variety of porn on the internet to suit everybody's tastes. In fact, I prefer watching porn than having sex with my wife," he confesses. Varma and his wife are seeking marital counselling as a result of his addiction to viewing porn.

Sexologist Dr Deepak Jumani agrees with the study saying, "There is an increase in the number of such cases as online pornography is highly popular and exciting because its accessible, affordable and anonymous. In fact, today we live in a sexually saturated society and we are exposed to tons of information, much of which is distorted." He opines that pornography reduces one's sexual currency in terms of pleasure and romance.

Sexologist Dhananjay Gambhire, who has also encountered many such cases in his practice, says, "What is shown in porn is not natural sex. These are actions according to picturisation and titillation, and doing the same produces a lot of discomfort and failure. Especially in the initial days, this can be very devastating on sexual relationships."

As for treatment, Dr Gambhire suggests desensitising the patient, i.e. staying away from porn. Counselling and sometimes medicines too are prescribed.

'The men who look for help online for erectile dysfunction might surprise you' (DailyDot)

This is another article about a recent analysis of ED posts on MedHelp. Like earlier articles on that analysis, it continues to bury the lead that porn use appears to be causing ED in many young men. It doesn't mention that many men heal their dysfunctions simply by quitting. Instead it implies porn problems are a "mental disorder," which suggests that mentally healthy young men don't get ED from porn. This is silly, as anyone can see by browsing self-reports on this website alone.

Click to read the article on the Daily Dot.


'Tidal wave' of porn addiction as experts warn action is needed to save the next 'lost generation' (Pauline Brown)

One leading charity has revealed that regular consumers of online adult porn are more likely to start watching child pornography and other illegal materials to get the hit they crave. Scotland needs more sex therapists to tackle a spiralling increase in the number of porn addicts.

Experts have warned of a “lost generation” of men who have become addicted to watching pornography online.

And one leading charity has revealed that regular consumers of online adult porn are more likely to start watching child pornography and other illegal materials to get the hit they crave.

Glasgow-based psychosexual therapist Pauline Brown said: “Quite simply, there aren’t enough of us in Scotland to cope with the workload.

“We’ve already lost a generation to porn – this is now about salvaging the next one.”

Pauline said more men were seeking help as a result of being hooked on online porn.

She said: “I would never see patients with erectile problems under the age of 45 when I was working 25 years ago.

“Now it’s quite normal for young men, even as young as 19, to be seeking help.

“They watch porn and everything after that in real life is vanilla sex and so they go chasing a buzz.

“Quite often, it’s mixed in with other addictions such as alcohol or fantasy-gaming websites.

“But I’ve seen people whose entire sexual experience is linked to the accessibility of porn and two-dimensional images on a screen.

“It’s no surprise that this can then escalate into criminality.”

Charity The Reward Foundation – who give talks to schoolchildren about the risks of internet porn – say some have become so desensitised to watching extreme sex that they have been driven to seek out images of child abuse.

Mary Sharpe, the charity’s chief executive, said: “The waiting list to get a GP referral to a NHS sexual health clinic is typically nine months to a year – during which time an individual’s habit may have developed into a criminal matter.

“Due to cutbacks, the clinics will typically refer a porn addict to a private sex therapist – and there are only around 30 of them in all of Scotland with the proper training in this area.

“They alone are unable to manage the tidal wave of porn-related problems we’re now seeing.

“There are increasing numbers of men on the sex offenders’ register for watching child porn, not because they’re traditional paedophiles who seek sexual contact with children but because their behaviour was driven by a craving for more shocking images.”

Research by Cambridge University neuropsychiatrists in 2013 found watching porn gives users a shot of the reward chemical dopamine to the brain.

But the satisfaction is always shortlived, driving them on to find a stronger buzz beyond real sex – a classic sign of addiction.

There has been an explosion in the numbers of men seeking medical help for erectile dysfunction. NHS prescriptions for the problem have soared nearly 500 per cent since the turn of the century, from 67,515 in 2000-1 to 324,953 in 2015-16.

Britons now spend an average of 25 hours a week online and three quarters own a smartphone, making access to the internet even easier.

It is estimated that one in six Brits is now a regular porn user, with three quarters of men watching at least occasionally.

Since 2009, the number of registered sex offenders in Scotland has risen 45 per cent from 3637 to 5295 – but the numbers convicted of internet-related offences more than doubled between 2013 and 2015 alone, from 252 to 527.

Link to original article

A Urologist Speaks Out About PIED

I never thought I would see the day when several of my younger patients (under 40) would present to my clinic with varying complaints of sexual dysfunction. As a practicing urologist in the United States, I am very familiar with erectile dysfunction (ED) in older men. This typical ED is associated with organic etiologies such as hypertension, vascular or neurologic disease, or some other external pathology. However, I am treating a shockingly high number of men under the age of 40 for erectile dysfunction with absence of any pathology.

Previous 2002 meta-analysis suggested an ED prevalence in men under 40 to be only 2%.

The presentations vary quite significantly. Some young men present with the inability to have erections with their partner (able to have erection with porn). Other men are unable to orgasm during intercourse (only can orgasm with their hand). Some complain of low sex drive. Some of my patients are in tears questioning their sexuality. That is, many of my patients have developed vastly different sexual preferences from baseline. Also, patients complain of severely delayed ejaculation on one hand while another subset complain about premature ejaculation. Some of the more lucky guys who are able to have an erection sufficient for sex complain that their penis feels numb. They are experiencing less penile sensitivity and a severe reduction in sexual pleasure. Several patients say that they feel no intimacy with their partners. Further, they are unable to orgasm unless they are looking at porn or fantasizing about someone else or some other scenario. Tragically, a few patients have even contemplated suicide. Being able to start a family and have normal sex is expected for any healthy young man. When this expectation is not met, serious health consequences ensue. These presentations baffled me for I had not heard of any of these issues during medical school or during my residency.

I set out on a mission to shed some light on this most peculiar trend. I was surprised to find excellent research on a topic that I ashamedly knew nothing about. I did what most people do who want to know about something puzzling; I searched "Dr. Google." Many of the sites that came up mentioned psychological causes of ED such as anxiety or depression. I was skeptical because anxiety and depression have been around for a long time. The question remained, "Why is there a new escalating trend of ED in young healthy men?" So, I dug deeper in my search and came across the website, I was captivated after finding out that there is a correlation between porn use and sexual dysfunction. I was skeptical at first. Porn has been around for ages. After reading much of the suggested literature on that website, I began to realize a significant compelling connection. The turning point seems to be in 2006 with the birth of the internet "porn tube sites." This enabled men to view porn with endless access and novelty at blazing speeds. I was ashamed because we as urologists would sometimes recommend pornographic material to "help" patients with their ED. Further, we the experts in male sexual dysfunction know next to nothing about this potential public health problem.

A substantial amount of research has emerged regarding this startling trend. Yes, good research! I have many colleagues who are skeptical and even doubt porn's role in male sexual dysfunction (as well as female sexual dysfunction). I will highlight formal evidence below. I encourage all readers to find these primary articles and read them. You will find many scientific skeptics saying there is not enough research. There is a significant lag time with research and its ramifications in real time. Two good examples in recent history that highlight this inevitable lag are the clear harms of tobacco and sugar. To this end, we must act even if there is not "sufficient" evidence. Are we willing to gamble on our intimacy and sexual well being? I know that I am not willing to take that gamble.

Dr. Tarek Pacha DO, Urologist, Michigan Institute of Urology


A lot of cases relating to erectile dysfunction relate to pornography addiction and use. Zoe Hargreaves, NHS Psychosexual Therapist (2016)

Support available for men and women who experience sexual health problems

MEN and women who experience sexual health problems, including younger people, can get specialised support from Lancashire Care NHS Foundation Trust. According to a recent BBC Newsbeat report, there is a surge in the number of young men who suffer from erectile dysfunction due to easy access to online porn.

Health professionals are now seeing more and more people in their late teens and early 20s experience the problem which they say is caused by online porn.

Men and women who experience the problem, including younger people, can get specialised support to help overcome it via the Sexual Health and Relationship Enhancement (SHARE) service which is offered in Blackburn with Darwen.

Zoe Hargreaves, a Psychosexual Therapist with Lancashire Care NHS Foundation Trust, said: “Many people experience some difficulty in their sexual lives at some point. Some people improve by themselves without help while others require more help.

“A lot of cases relating to erectile dysfunction relate to pornography addiction and use and there are increasing numbers of younger people who are affected by this. The majority of such referrals are younger people, but we also see older people as well. We offer various programmes to help people along and these are adapted on a case-by-case basis. If someone has such a problem then they need to see their GP who would refer them to SHARE.”

SHARE is a confidential specialist service. Referrals are accepted from GPs, nurses, contraceptive services, GUM services, mental health services and social care. People unable to approach a professional and discuss being referred into the service can contact the service directly on 07538 475987 or 01254 283333 or email

Lancashire Care NHS Foundation Trust also runs a Contraception and Sexual Health Service (CaSH) across Lancashire that includes contraception choices, and sexually transmitted infection screening and treatment. These services are free and confidential. For more information about sexual health services or help to access support telephone 01772 401140 or visit

By Henry James




A shocking new TV show aired last night and it sees young people encouraged to air their sexual problems and woes (2016). Dr. Vena Ramphal

Link to article

Relevant Excerpt by Dr Vena Rampha:

She also blames the internet for many of the issues that people have in the bedroom, in particular the male population.

She explains: "While the internet has made information more accessible which is a good thing, it has also been detrimental. We are just starting to see the effects now.

"Many men in their 20s are having erectile dysfunction issues that they link to porn 'addiction'.

"While this link is still being debated I can tell you that the young men who experience it are having a really difficult time."

Jaw-dropping new TV show is inviting the public to share their most graphic sex issues... and vows to ease their X-rated worries


02:09, 12 May 2016

A SHOCKING new TV show Sex Pod sees the British public share their most private and personal X-rated questions and woes.

The programme, which aired on 5TAR last night, features a variety of people who graphically confess their intimate sexual issues in a 'pod'.

The Sex Pod is set up in a similar way to the Big Brother diary room and once people have expressed their problems, the computer generated voice provides a solution.

As young people often find it difficult to open up about their private lives, the show is aimed to try and encourage them to feel more comfortable about doing it.

Dr Vena Ramphal, a celebrity sex and relationships expert, takes a leading role in the programme and she uses her experience to coach the guests Twitter

Dr Vena Ramphal, a celebrity sex and relationships expert, takes a leading role in the programme and she uses her experience to coach the guests.

Vena believes the reason people struggle to communicate their sexual issues is because there's a stigma attached to the topic which makes members of society uncomfortable to talk about it.

She explains: "I think that people find it difficult to talk about sex because as a society - all over the world in fact - we have hardwired guilt and shame about it.

"We haven't developed a mature, safe, respectful conversation about sex. I do think that we are in the process of doing that.'

One married couple who starred on the show were Lettie, 22, and Lee, 25, they wanted to discuss a very senstive issue that was affecting their sex life Channel 5

She also blames the internet for many of the issues that people have in the bedroom, in particular the male population.

She explains: "While the internet has made information more accessible which is a good thing, it has also been detrimental. We are just starting to see the effects now.

"Many men in their 20s are having erectile dysfunction issues that they link to porn 'addiction'.

"While this link is still being debated I can tell you that the young men who experience it are having a really difficult time."

Lettie is unable to climax because her clitoris is too sensitive, she explains: 'It's like it feels too good it's unbearable. It's not a bad pain. It doesn't hurt. It just is literally too good' Channel 5

Vena's erotic expertise extends to the ancient Indian pleasure traditions of the Kama Sutra and she recommends that more modern day Brits learn about it and transfer the skills to the bedroom.

She said: "The most important thing our modern society can learn from the Kama Sutra is that it treats sex as a practical aspect of life that needs to be learnt.

"You don't just fumble about and hope for the best! Give sex the attention it needs. The Kama Sutra is the original sex ed text book."

Woman asks for advice as she struggles with a sensitive 'issue' 

During the first episode of Sex Pod, Lettie, 22, and Lee, 25, a married couple, enter to discuss a very sensitive 'issue' that's affecting their sex life.

The pair have been together for five years but Lettie is unable to climax because her clitoris is too sensitive.

Lettie explains: "It's like it feels too good it's unbearable. It's not a bad pain. It doesn't hurt. It just is literally too good.

"It's definitely too much pleasure to handle I know most women wouldn't be complaining about this but it honestly is quite a big problem."

Another person who featured was Tiffany Rose, 24, a transgender woman who has been receiving hormone treatment for the past five years but now she wants to find out more about surgery Channel 5

And also featured on the show is Tiffany Rose, 24, a transgender woman who has been receiving hormone treatment for the past five years but now she wants to find out more about surgery.

She asks: "I started transitioning when I was 13, so I was very young I told my family very young, and then at 19 I started hormones and since then I've not really looked back. I can't wait to get a designer vagina.

"When I have my surgery will it feel like a real vagina? Will I be able to use it like a real vagina and will I be able to use the toilet properly

Although Vena has been an expert for a number of years, she maintains that some of the guests' confessions still shock her.

"There was one question that made my heart go out to the young person asking it," she explained.

Transgender Tiffany Rose voices her questions about surgery

"The question was along the lines of, 'How do I have sex without being drunk?' Alcohol is often used to let go of inhibitions, but being drunk is not a healthy way to have sex.

"It's important to be sober so you can make safe decisions, be genuinely consensual and truly enjoy sex."

Sex Pod is on 5STAR, Wednesdays at 10pm




BBC discusses porn-induced sexual dysfunctions...again (listen to radio show)

"5 Live" radio show with Emma Barnett. Fast-forward to 1h14min mark.

BBC: Easy access to online porn is 'damaging' men's health, says NHS therapist. Psychosexual therapist Angela Gregory (2016)

[Also watch related video]

A top psychosexual therapist is warning about a surge in the number of young men suffering sexual health problems because of online pornography.

Angela Gregory says more and more men in their late teens and early 20s are suffering from erectile dysfunction. She puts the blame on people becoming addicted to watching online porn. There are no official figures but she says a lot of the time it is via smartphones and laptops.

"What I've seen over the last 16 years, particularly the last five years, is an increase in the amount of younger men being referred," she said. "Our experience is that historically men that were referred to our clinic with problems with erectile dysfunction were older men whose issues were related to diabetes, MS, cardio vascular disease. These younger men do not have organic disease, they've already been tested by their GP and everything is fine.

"So one of the first assessment questions I'd always ask now is about pornography and masturbatory habit because that can be the cause of their issues about maintaining an erection with a partner."

Read more

Can Watching Too Much Porn Affect Your Sex Life? Jenner Bishop, LMFT; Psychotherapist Shirani M. Pathak (2017)

by Kristine Fellizar (link to article)

I'm not against porn in any way. In fact, I have a select few bookmarked videos set for whenever the mood arises. But one of the things that I really dislike is how mainstream porn can affect people — especially guys I've hooked up with in the past. Most of my bad sex stories tend to center around guys who've clearly set their expectations from whatever they've seen in mainstream porn. Long story short, it was always disappointing for me, and as a new study found, maybe even for them.

According to a study presented at the American Urological Association's annual meeting, watching too much porn can take a toll on your sex life, especially if you're a young and sexually inexperienced male.

"Pornography viewing and consumption is usually done with solo sex," licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex addiction therapist Jenner Bishop, LMFT, CSAT-S, tells Bustle. "Solo sex has this kind of mesmerizing feedback loop. The pressure of masturbation that you like, the speed of masturbation — all of which are gauged to what’s going to feel good to the individual. So when you pair the intense and arousing imagery that porn can provide with that perfect feedback loop of self arousal, it's really hard for another real, live, flesh and blood person to touch you exactly how you want to be touched."

The study, which was published in The Journal of Urology, was conducted by lead researcher, Dr. Matthew Christman, a staff urologist with the Naval Medical Center in San Diego and colleagues who surveyed 312 men between the ages of 20 and 40-year-old. All survey participants visited a urology clinic in San Diego for treatment. Although the study found that only three percent of men say they prefer masturbating to porn over actual sexual intercourse, there was a statistically significant relationship between porn addiction and sexual dysfunction. Here's what the study found:

Men Who Prefer Porn Are More Likely To Be Dissatisfied With Their Sex Lives

This isn't entirely surprising, but the men surveyed who prefer masturbating to porn over actual intercourse are more likely to find sex to be disappointing. Younger men, in particular, were more likely to report a preference for porn as well as a dissatisfaction with their sex life.

The Number Of Men With Sexual Dysfunction Issues Goes Up With The Amount Of Porn They Consume

According to the survey, about four percent of men say they watch porn more than 11 times a week. While only three percent say they prefer porn to intercourse, a majority of them (nearly 80 percent), admitted to having sexual dysfunction issues. On the other hand, the rate of sexual dysfunction was lowest in men who said they preferred intercourse without the use of pornography.

While the authors note that sexual dysfunction in younger men tends to be extremely low, there has been an increase in cases recently. Naturally, this led them to conclude that porn-viewing habits may be a key to explain why.

Too Much Porn Viewing Can Increase A Person's Tolerance

One of the explanations for why too much porn viewing can cause dysfunction issues is "tolerance." Similar to certain drugs, regular porn viewers get a sort of high from watching it. They're less likely to respond to real world activity because it doesn't match up to the expectations they have, so they need to rely on porn for release.

"It's really is a no-win situation when porn is used as the mechanism by which we learn about sex and sexuality and relating with others."

As Shirani M. Pathak, licensed psychotherapist and founder of the Relationship Center of Silicon Valley tells Bustle, this really has been a trend. "Many women report to either being unable to get their men off, which leads to the women feeling inadequate and their men feeling frustrated, or men are not able to get or maintain an erection, which leads to the men feeling inadequate and women feeling frustrated," Pathak says. "It really is a no-win situation when porn is used as the mechanism by which we learn about sex and sexuality and relating with others. Sadly, due to the increased accessibility of our digital age, it's becoming more and more the norm."

Women Aren't As Affected By Porn Use As Men

A separate experiment they conducted also looked into women and how porn viewing affected them. Unlike men, there was no significant relationship between porn use and sexual dysfunction.

"I believe this happens because one, women aren't exposed to pornography as early on in life as men are and two, because women tend to rely on feelings and emotions to help them with sexual arousal whereas men tend to rely on visual cues and imagery," Pathak says. "Unfortunately the visual stimulation men are receiving and interpreting as the thing women want is an inaccurate representation based on actresses who are in it for the purpose of pleasing a male driven adult film industry."

So if you've ever wondered if watching too much porn can affect your sex life, it sounds like it can. Overall, this study is a good reminder that most mainstream porn isn't like sex in real life. If you think that, you're likely to be disappointed — and it seems like your sex life could take a hit too.


Catastrophic effects of adolescent porn addiction (2014) Wrishi Raphael, MD

Monday, 27 October 2014

Author / Source: Dr Wrishi Raphael

These days it is impossible to find a teenager belonging to a middle class family without a smart phone or a tablet; therefore without access to portable high speed internet. While a vast majority of parents are totally unaware of the potential dangers of the information highway; it is not uncommon for teenagers to grow up into adulthood with a completely distorted and perverted idea of human sexuality and end up injuring not only their self esteem but also their minds and bodies. While on the threshold of their rebellious and tempestuous years it is only normal for youngsters to have impulses about their sexuality and these impulses can lead to all the wrong choices if not given the right guidance. As sex education is still considered a taboo in our country and no one seems to care what sort of information adolescents have access to thanks to the smart phones, tablets and high speed internet, it is not usual for teenagers to lose their thrive for a better life and indulge in premature sexualisation and immorality.

The enormous amount of adult content high school children have access to, via smart-phones is mind boggling but it is equally important to understand the culprit behind the scene. To know why the multi-billion dollar internet pornographic industry is so popular we must first understand the Coolidge Effect.

Coolidge Effect

‘Males of all species exhibit renewed sexual interest if introduced to new sexual partners even after refusing sex from prior but still available sex partners.’ In simpler terms, greater the number of willing female sex partners stronger the urge for sex in males. When the Coolidge Effect was materialized by the adult film industry it experienced an enormous boost in profits. The average teenager of today has access to more women on the internet in one hour then all his ancestors put together. This unending novelty fuels his brain cells to produce a chemical neurotransmitter called dopamine in abnormally high levels and for damagingly long durations.

This leads to another question. What is dopamine and how does it affect the brain’s capacity to function?

Dopamine is a neurotransmitter released by the brain that plays a number of roles in humans and other animals. Dopamine in pleasure reward seeking behavior Dopamine is the chemical that mediates pleasure in the brain. It is released during pleasurable situations and stimulates one to seek out the pleasurable activity or occupation. This means food, sex, and several drugs of abuse are also stimulants of dopamine release in the brain

Dopamine and drug addiction - Cocaine and amphetamines inhibit the re-uptake of dopamine. Cocaine is a dopamine transporter blocker that competitively inhibits dopamine uptake to increase the presence of dopamine.

Dopamine levels and psychosis - Abnormally high dopamine transmission has been linked to psychosis and schizophrenia. Both the typical and the atypical antipsychotic drugs work largely by inhibiting dopamine at the receptor level.

The teenager who has succumbed to porn addiction will have the following symptoms:

  1. Lower reactions to porn sites
  2. Erectile dysfunction. [Inability of the male genital organs to be aroused by sexual stimulation]
  3. Addiction related brain changes can cause severe depressive symptoms: sleeplessness, irritability, guilt, concentration lack, appetite loss, low self esteem.

Unfortunately the teenager does not realize that he is in trouble until he develops erectile dysfunction. Why the erectile dysfunction? Numb brains produce weaker and weaker messages to sex organs therefore inhibiting erectile response

Do sexual stimulants work in erectile dysfunction? They do not work in erectile dysfunction as such drugs are only capable of maintaining the erection process but not initiating it.

Who are most vulnerable to the porn effect and why? Teenagers are most vulnerable. The brain’s dopamine levels are highest during teenage years.

If for example an adult male requires 2-3 months to fight porn addiction, a teenager may need 4-5 times the same amount of time and that means complete abstinence and difficult life style modifications.

It’s plain and simple. Parents have to be proactive about what their children are doing on their cell phones and how best to prevent inappropriate internet content from slipping into the hands of teenagers. We wouldn’t leave a magazine with explicit content next to the toilet and tell our kids not to look at it when they go to the bathroom. Nor should we hand our kids a smart phone that hasn’t been secured, to keep it from becoming “pocket porn” in the hands of a curious child. 

K9 Web Protection Browser: The K9 Web Protection Browser is doing well to block adult content from emerging on the screen. It is present in the app store and after its downloaded and installed, security settings have to be adjusted so that no other browser can be used for web browsing.

Disable Installing Apps: Unless this is done children and teenagers can easily add another browser from the app store which has no filter.

Disabling You Tube: Children and teenagers enjoy watching videos on You Tube but unfortunately once on the You Tube they are only a few clicks away from watching inappropriate content.

In spite of all precautions and preventive measures teenagers can and will make the wrong choices every now and then and as parents, it will be heart wrenching to deal with such terrible mistakes and forgive them, simply because the child in question is their flesh and blood.

But to allow teenagers specifically boys to use smart phones unsupervised, can be equated to allowing them to brandish lethal firearms in a supermarket without the safety switch turned on. The information highway is a highway like any other and parents must be protective of their children so that they don’t lose their identities or hurt themselves in more destructive ways then can be fathomed.

The writer can be reached at

Chris Kraft, Ph.D. - Johns Hopkins sexologist dicusses porn-induced sexual dysfunctions

A podcast with a fenmale sexologist interviewing a pretty well known male sexologist - Chris Kraft, Ph.D. Sexual dysfunctions seem to be his forte. The first part of the show is a lot like other shows on men and ED. The sexologists suggest that men today may be experiencing higher rates of ED because women are now more "powerful", or it's more stressful, or the economy. Suddenly, the show does a 180 degree turn, and he says a main cause of ED and other sexual issues is Internet porn. This start at 25:00 minutes.

Then he say's its happening in younger men. It's an "emerging" problem due to access to internet porn. The female sexologist who is interviewing him says that "we see 14 and 15 year olds are coming in and saying they can't get turned on by real girls". It is like 2 completely different interviews.

  • 25:00 - 27:30 - porn can cause ED, DE, loss of sexual interest.
  • Commercial
  • 30:30 - 42:20 - continues with porn and hook up culture and college, and affects on relationships and sexuality. Pretty good.

SHOW: Chris Kraft, Ph.D. - Observations of a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Sexual Trend Behaviors in College Age Demographic

Link to page

Description of radio show below:

Wednesday 9th of January 2013

Chris Kraft, Ph.D. - Observations of a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Sexual Trend Behaviors in College Age Demographic

My guest is a long time colleague and friend. Dr. Chris Kraft and I are currently on the Leadership Council for Program in Human Sexuality at U of Minnesota. Chris is a licensed psychologist and AASECT certified sex therapist specially trained to achieve pragmatic and solution-oriented results for couples and individuals. His goal is to improve each person's happiness as it relates to their sexual intimacy, expression and identity.

Dr. Kraft specializes in the evaluation and treatment of all sexual and gender conditions: low sexual desire, erection, orgasm and arousal difficulties, genital pain conditions, sexual addiction and compulsivity, internet pornography, marital infidelity, sexual orientation, cross dressing, gender concerns, and other unique fetishes and sexual attractions.

Dr. Kraft is the co director of clinical services and instructor at the Sexual Behaviors Consultation Unit in the Department of Psychiatry at the Johns Hopkins School of Medicine. Dr. Kraft is also a part-time Lecturer in the Psychological and Brain Sciences Department at the Johns Hopkins University where he teaches two human sexuality courses.

So we're going to look at what he sees from a therapist's standpoint is new in sexual compulsivity, internet pornography treatment...can it be 'cured'? Any new fetishes becoming more common place? And his unique position of teaching 2 different classes in Human Sexuality.





Counsellors battle ‘plague of pornography’, psychologists Seema Hingorrany & Yolande Pereira, paediatrician, Samir Dalwai (2015)

,TNN | Sep 13, 2015


Two weeks ago, at the country's first seminar to battle "the plague of pornography," more than 103 counsellors, youth animators, priests, nuns and therapists from various parishes and secular counselling centres pondered a patient history titled Mathew's story. "Like many people, Mathew looked at porn on the web every now and then," explained the case study before delving into the successful accountant's downward spiral into addiction. "Before long, half of Mathew's work day was taken up browsing the web for porn," the story continued. "Sexual images, urges and fantasies dominate his thoughts... His dearest companion is the laptop." In conclusion, attendees were asked to chart an intervention for the addict, who was now heavily in debt, addicted to hard porn, embroiled in an extramarital affair and eager to leave his wife.The seminar, conducted by Snehalaya Family Service Centre, founded by the Bombay Archdiocese but which caters to people of all faiths, is the result of a six-month-long survey on porn-viewing habits in 16 parishes, seven colleges and eight corporate offices. The survey showed that the habit is widespread and on the rise. Despite aiming for a representative faith-wise sample, more than 50% of respondents were Christian. At the seminar too, 70% of attendees were Christian."Our stand is zero porn," said Fr Cajetan Menezes, who conducted part of the seminar and is the director of Snehalaya. "Even if you watch 20 minutes of porn a week, it will alter your pattern of behaviour and brain structure," he added. Additionally, there is a correlation between porn and violence against women, said Menezes. "For us, pornography is an extension of sex exploitation, and women trafficking, which is why we are taking a hard-line stance on the issue." 

Other city counsellors and therapists have also seen a marked uptick in porn viewing. "Every second patient that walks in practically has a porn obsession," said clinical psychologist Seema Hingorrany. "In the last year, I've seen a 30% jump." Developmental paediatrician, Samir Dalwai, has seen a similar trend among children. "One of the big causes of academic deterioration today is pornography," he said. In one instance, a seven-year-old boy's behavioural and academic problems, including hitting other children, were traced to porn. "The father was watching porn and hadn't deleted the sites from the browser thinking the kid is too small," recalled Dalwai.

One of the worst cases Hingorrany has ever treated was an engineering student, who was watching porn 14 hours a day. "He'd failed his exams, bruised himself by masturbating excessively and was suffering from depression and hallucinations," recalled Hingorrany. Several experts, though, say that not everyone gets addicted. In fact, sexologist Prakash Kothari doesn't see any harm in using porn as an aphrodisiac if it's in moderation. He said some people are turned off by overexposure. "It's like gulab jamun. If you have it every day, the fun is lost."

The number of women watching porn is also on the rise. Hingorrany said that for every 10 male addicts, she has three female patients. In one case mentioned during the seminar, porn addiction was mistakenly diagnosed as post-partum depression until the patient came clean. Another side-effect of excessive porn use can be impotence or erectile dysfunction. Family therapist Yolande Pereira, who conducted part of the seminar, said, "Ninety per cent of men and women, who come to us with erectile dysfunction or low libido, after visiting sexologists and urologists without improvement, have a long history of viewing pornography."

Hingorrany estimated that five out of 10 porn addicts suffer from low libido because of their unhealthy lifestyle, overexposure to sexual images and innate anxieties. "I had a boy who came and told me that he watched excessive porn and when he went to perform with a girl, he couldn't do it and panicked," recalled Hingorrany, "I explained that he had desensitized himself by watching too much of it."

Some of those attending the seminar such as psychotherapist and counsellor Nilufer Mistry, who works at Massena Hospital, are specialists in addiction and were attending to further hone their skills. When asked if she agreed with taking a hard-line stance on porn, she said, "I believe anything in limitation is healthy, but porn is very addictive."

Others were church volunteers hoping the seminar would give them the tools to tackle rampant porn watching.

Noreen Machado from St Theresa's parish in Bandra, who is the coordinator of a family cell, hoped it would help her assist parents whose children are struggling with such issues.

In the future, Snehalaya hopes to start a support group for porn addicts, once more safety and privacy measures are in place. They are treading carefully because abroad such groups have been known to attract stalkers and perverts, who join to prey on vulnerable addicts and their spouses.


Cybersex Addiction: A Case Study. Dorothy Hayden, LCSW (2016)

Link to article

By Dorothy Hayden LCSW 04/28/16

Intense sexual pleasure as escape from unwanted inner experiences.

Following the pattern well-established by other potentially problematic behaviors and activities (gambling, shopping, eating, drinking and using substances), the relatively new realm of sexual activity based on Internet technology has created another challenge for individuals and society. As with other behaviors, the vast majority of people who engage in “cyber sexual” activities (pornography, live webcam masturbation, sending sexual texts, interactive online sexcapades, etc.) do so occasionally, finding these activities to be enjoyable distractions that are ultimately not as satisfying as more intimate connections. For others, though, the ability to engage in cybersexual activities inexpensively and anonymously has the potential to damage lives and destroy actual relationships that is similar to other forms of addiction. Dorothy Hayden has been working with sexual compulsives for almost as long as cybersexuality has been around. Here, she presents a case study that highlights many of the key dynamics of the paradigm…Richard Juman, PsyD

When Steve arrived to his first session with me, he was markedly unkempt and underweight. With head held down, he didn’t make eye contact with me and, once sitting in the chair, was inward and lacking anything much to say. He eventually did communicate that he had received a demotion on his job and that his wife had filed for divorce. He seemed to be in a severe depression around these losses.

Steve reported that he once over-indulged in alcohol and drugs but that because of a serious accident on the job, he quit using substances. However, over the next several months, he found that his urges to masturbate increased. He found that if he did not act on these urges, he would remain “horny” all day and would be unable to focus on his work or pay attention to his wife when she spoke to him. He was constantly preoccupied with his sexual fantasies.

Steve felt lifeless and empty, devoid of energy, interest, or capacity of enjoyment. The only thing that gave him a sense of aliveness was a sexual encounter. For months after his wife declared that she was leaving, he found that his sexual fantasies and urges to masturbate were becoming more and more imperious. He realized that if he did not masturbate, he would remain “horny” all day, which would make him feel restless, irritable and discontent.

Soon enough, Steve found that pornography was not enough to sexually excite him. His use of digital devices to achieve sexual stimulation escalated. He found that being locked into the fantasies and rituals that preceded the sexual acting out were just as compelling as the actual sex act, perhaps even more so. His emotionally-charged high was maintained by the dopamine-enhanced searching, downloading, chatting, texting, sexting and other sexual-based behaviors. Every new video, picture, game, or person released more dopamine, aiding him to maintain lengthy periods of excitement through all of his looking, searching, fantasizing and anticipating.

Steve reported that he could spend endless hours feeling intense arousal without becoming physically aroused or coming to orgasm. His search for the perfect video, image or partner kept him disengaged and distracted from life’s priorities, relationships and life commitments as effectively as heroin, cocaine, or any other mood-changing substance. Cybersex was, indeed, his “drug of choice.”

After a year in treatment, Steve agreed to go to a meeting of Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA). He found comfort there, knowing that he was not the only person in the world who engaged in such sexual behaviors. He felt supported and valued in a way he never had been before in his life. For the first time, he felt he belonged somewhere. He began to feel that he could talk to people and that people could share with him. Most importantly, he reported, he was learning how to be himself and to be comfortable with himself in social situations.

Of course, this affected his treatment. We began to do a cost/benefit analysis of his sexual behavior.  

At this time, Steve made a major breakthrough. His denial broken, he saw clearly the damage he had done to himself and to those close to him. This included:

  • Isolation from friends and family/reduced intimacy with one’s committed partner
  • Broken trust in one’s relationships
  • Increased stress from living a duplicitous life
  • Loss of income from demotion at work and possible loss of job
  • Partners losing self-esteem and self-worth by failing to "live up” to fantasy porn images
  • Emotionally neglecting children
  • Sexual dysfunction (erectile dysfunction)
  • Loss of interest in hobbies and other healthy activities
  • Self-neglect due to lack of sleep and exercise

Life History

Steve was the first of three children, with two younger sisters. Before he was born, his mother had a miscarriage at five months gestation. Steve described his mother as “deceitful”—warm and inviting one moment and rejecting the next. She idolized Steve. He was the apple of her eye who could do no wrong. However, she had exacting standards, and when he failed to meet them she would tell him with contempt that he was disgusting, noisy and boorish and would send him to his room for hours on end.

Steve recalled that his mother had “horrendous” attitudes toward men and would often complain that they were “beasts”—loud, rough, and only interested in sex. She would often undress in front of Steve, and would leave the bedroom door open before she went to bed. When he was afraid, he would often climb into bed with his parents. This continued until his father left the family when he was 12 years old. He recalled that he was lying in bed with her and she wore a flimsy nightgown. Steve reported that he had always had sexual thoughts about his mother.

Steve’s father was a kind, sensitive and depressive man when he was sober, but when he had been drinking, he was loud and aggressive. By the time Steve was three years old, his father was rarely sober. Additionally, he was abusive to the whole family when he was drinking, but he was particularly abusive to Steve. From time to time, he would mention that Steve’s birth was neither planned nor wanted. Steve observed that his father “always made sure that I knew what an asshole was.”

Steve’s father left the family when Steve was nine years old. Steve felt abandoned and feared that his father would never return, but at the same time he also feared that he would come back and shoot them all. He also felt responsible for the breakup of his parents' marriage.

Clinical Procedure

Steve’s core affective experience was intense, searing shame from which sexuality gave him his only relief. He had failed to live up to his parents’ expectations of him and failed to live up to his own. Living in a family where he was either idolized or belittled, his shame had become internalized, that is, an essential part of his identity.

He had primary shame from living with his family and secondary shame from his addiction. Every time he had an orgasm, he was left with shame and self-hatred. It’s shameful not to be able to be in control of one’s own behavior despite one’s best effort.

Steve's low self-esteem and his vacuous sense of self, derived partly from his sense that his father neither wanted nor valued him, partly from his mother’s erratic and narcissistic responsiveness to him and partly from his split and sometimes amorphous sense of identity. Harold’s mother complicated Steve’s task of developing a healthy male identity by devaluing his father, criticizing Steve when he acted like his father and devaluing men in general.

His experience with a 12-Step program helped lessen that shame, and the empathy and understanding I offered him also helped to alleviate his shame.

Treatment was divided into “first order” change and “second order” change. “First order” change is designed to stabilize his behavior. He was sent for a psychiatric assessment to rule out co-morbid psychiatric disorders. The doctor put him on a low dose of Prozac, not for a mood disorder, but to help him manage his obsessive sexual urges.

We then embarked on a Cognitive-Behavioral regime to establish a Relapse Prevention program. He wrote out a series of “triggers”—internal and external events that preceded his sexual acting out. He learned to stay away from high-risk situations. Alternative coping strategies were then devised for each trigger. Ways to manage cravings and urges were then discussed. He saw cravings and fantasies as signals of inner distress. He could more readily observe and verbalize his inner states, rather than simply responding to them with physical action. In addition, we discussed ways that he might handle lapses and relapses. 

Simple behavioral changes were put in place. He exchanged his smartphone for a regular cellphone. The computer was put in the family room. A filter that eliminated erotic material was put on the computer. He installed a family-oriented Internet service contract. When he had to use the computer, he limited himself to specific times when he checked his emails and such.

Steve and I then discussed at length his relationship to his own emotions, because negative emotions are often used as a fuel for acting out. The treatment focused on learning to tolerate negative emotions without using sex to relieve them. Knowing how to cope effectively with strong feelings is essential to sexual self-control. Coping with the issue of immediate gratification was discussed.

A critical part of a Relapse Prevention Plan is working on recognizing and disputing cognitive distortions. Sex addicts have plenty of cognitive distortions about themselves, about women and about sex. I asked Steve to write down what he thought his were and then to write down next to them an alternative, more realistic thought that he was to read a few times a week.

Because Steve had been isolated for so long, we worked on basic communication skills and he agreed to take a course in assertiveness. Both of these tasks made him feel more comfortable in the world with people.

Couples Counseling 

One of the things that propelled Steve into treatment was his wife’s threat of divorce. Although their relationship was in shambles after years of his addictive behaviors, he still loved her and very much wanted her to be in his life. Sara, for her part, had become torn into pieces by Steve’s behavior. His having spent such large amounts of time in the basement engaging in “deviant” sexual behavior made her feel lonely, ignored, unimportant and neglected. Her self-esteem suffered, knowing that her husband preferred to spend his time in front of a computer screen in the company of a fantasy person with whom she could not compete.

She felt a deep sense of shame because of what was going on in the family, heightened by the fact that she was hesitant to speak to anyone about the situation or her feelings about it because she wanted to protect Steve from the humiliation of the situation.

The combination of devastation, hurt, betrayal and loss of self-esteem set the stage for Sara to begin to have an affair with another man. Her motives were both to shore up her sexual self-esteem and to wreck revenge on Steve for betraying her. Sara didn’t continue in the affair for very long, however, because she still felt devoted to Steve.

Steve’s acting out had a deleterious effect on the couple’s sex life. Sara, feeling that she didn’t “measure up” to his fantasy women, worked to make herself especially attractive and initiated lovemaking much more often than she once did. She wore sexy clothing that she thought Steve would like. On some occasions, Sara performed sexual acts that she found repugnant because she thought it would please him. She did everything she could to persuade him that he didn’t “need” to look at those “other women.”

What Sara didn’t understand was that no mortal human being could ever live up to the “erotic haze”—the dopamine-enhanced, highly aroused state that the sex addict enters into when he was acting out that really had little to do with sex with a real woman. A real-life person can never compete with a fantasy. She also didn’t understand that she held no responsibility for the situation, that Steve’s condition resulted from childhood trauma and that he carried the emotional wounds with him well before he ever met her.

In treatment, Sara relayed that it wasn’t the sexual behavior that hurt her as much as the lies and secrets that surrounded the behavior. It was that that she didn’t know if she could forgive. She doubted she could ever trust him again.

For years, Steve would tell her she was “crazy” when she suspected something. She needed to accept that she did not cause the problem and that she could not control it. 

For a number of years, Sara, like so many women before her, became obsessive about “spying” on her mate; repeatedly checking computer hard drives, smartphones, texts, videos, webcams, emails, etc. to see if he was acting out. She said she felt crazy when she did this, but she continued to try to obtain more control over a situation over which she felt powerless.

Sara agreed to begin to attend S-anon, a 12-step program for partners of sex addicts where she met women who were able to give her support and empathy. At the same time, she started treatment with a therapist I referred her to, while they both continued couples therapy.


One year after treatment began, Steve announced that he was terminating treatment. I encouraged him to talk about what had led him to this decision. Our exploration revealed his fantasy that I would punish and humiliate him for having “failed” after having been so sure of himself. Further work indicated relationships between this fantasy and Steve’s shame about his fall from grandiosity and his need for help, his envy and resentment of me, and a number of emotionally significant childhood experiences with both his parents. Steve’s ability to discuss these things in a safe environment enabled him to see me less as a bully and more as a stable and stabilizing mentor who might be able to help him out of the mess that he now knew to be his inner life. 

Effects of Treatment

As treatment progressed, Steve began to realize that these fantasy-based transient sexual encounters were not what he was really looking for, since they would not satisfy him or meet his needs for intimate connection.

Treatment then took the turn of addressing the damage incurred from his relationships with his parents. We looked squarely at the messages he internalized as a child that were affecting his well-being as an adult.  Some of these were:

  • He was not good enough, not lovable and he did not belong
  • He experienced threats of abandonment, neglect and disinterest
  • Parental perfectionism

After we located the most important deficiency messages he received, he went through a grieving process in his life that resulted from these messages. As an adult, he consciously challenged the messages with new messages that reflected his self-worth. Most importantly, he returned his “borrowed shame.” Both of his parents were wounded souls with their own low self-esteem and sense of shame that they gave over to Steve. Steve made a decision that the shame didn’t belong to him; it belonged to his parents and he gave it back to where it belonged—to his parents.

Steve grappled with the idea of forgiving his family. He saw forgiveness as something he did for himself because living life in resentment was too painful. This was demonstrated when he went to visit them. The visits were shorter and his interactions with them were calmer and less angry. He had accepted them as fallible human beings who did the best they could to parent him.

Three years after treatment had begun, Steve had made tremendous changes in his life. He continued to come to therapy and he worked an active program in Sex Addicts Anonymous. He had a network of supportive friends and developed new hobbies. He exercised regularly. He and Sara were doing well. They adhered to a “sobriety contract” which consisted of a list of behaviors that he would adhere to. Over time, he showed her that he could once again be trusted.

Steve did still experience cravings, but he had acquired skills with which to deal with them. On a few occasions, he lapsed. However, because of the relapse prevention work we had done, he did not move into a full-blown relapse and he understood that a lapse meant that he had to make some changes in his relapse recovery plan.

His self-esteem rose. He was no longer a victim of self-loathing and shame. He was comfortable in his own presence. Through his involvement in his 12-step program, he had the satisfaction of being a member of a caring community and of helping others.

With the help of therapy, his perspective on life changed. He moved from being an immature, narcissistic person who viewed others as “need-satisfying objects” to appreciating them as individuals with needs, thoughts and feelings of their own. He learned to be a good listener and to be empathic. As a result, he developed the satisfaction of having a network of close, supportive friends, including and especially, his wife.

Through couples counseling, bitterness and anger had been put behind them and, through their separate therapies, they learned to be “allies” in treatment. They each claimed that having gone through their crises, they enjoyed a deeper, richer and more sexual relationship.


Love and sex are part of the human condition and, as such, they are matters of concern for the clinical community. It behooves those of us who work with the clinical population, especially young people, to have some familiarity with the effects that digital technology is having on human sexuality. 

Dorothy Hayden, LCSW, is a psychotherapy in private practice in Manhattan. For 20 years she has been treating sexual compulsives and their partners. She has written 40 articles about sex addiction ( and has authored the book “Total Sex Addiction Recovery – A Guide to Therapy”. Ms. Hayden has been interviewed by HBO, “20/20” and Anderson “360” about the impact of cybersex on society.


Dan Savage answers question about porn-induced ED (12-2013)

Dan savage answers a question about porn-induced ED on his podcast. The segment runs from 27:05 to 32:03. Surprisingly, Savage is open to the possibility of Internet porn causing ED. Maybe this isn't the first time he's been asked about it.

Episode 373 Season 16 posted December 17, 2013



Director of Middlebury College Health Center, Dr. Mark Peluso, sees rise in ED: blames porn

Parton medical clinic sees rise in erectile dysfunction

By Saadiah Schmidt. Thu, 05/03/2012

The last three years have witnessed an upsurge in the number of male students reporting erectile dysfunction and other sex-related problems at Parton Health Center, according to Director and College Physician Dr. Mark Peluso.

“They can’t get an erection or maintain an erection with a female partner,” Peluso said. “They think they need Viagra.”

In a typical office visit, Peluso will ask his patient a series of questions: Are you attracted to your partner? Are you intimate? Do you have a sexually inhibiting medical condition? Are you using substances, such as alcohol, that impair sexual performance? Do you feel attracted to other men? According to Peluso, the answer to all of these questions is usually “no.”

However, “in the majority of cases, the patients were habitual viewers of pornography, and had no difficulty with sexual performance when they were by themselves,” Peluso said.

Noting the increased use of online pornography, Peluso suggests an inverse relationship between porn and potency — as porn use increases, so do sexual insufficiencies.

Senior Nurse Practitioner at Parton Health Center Laurel Kelliher often talks to female students about their partners’ erectile dysfunction.

“I would say in the last couple of years, it has been more prominent,” Kelliher said. She also believes that porn use is a major factor and advises women to encourage their partners to abstain from its use.

Both Peluso and Kelliher reported that the majority of patients who seek help for erectile dysfunction are starting a relationship.

“I see both, but more often people are in relationships than just random hookups,” said Kelliher.

Men “come in because they want Viagra,” said Peluso. “They are going to be with a female partner, going to visit a girlfriend, starting a new relationship and feel bad about [their erectile dysfunction].”

“You feel inadequate and ashamed,” said a male sophomore who has suffered from erectile dysfunction. “It’s a very awkward situation.”

Awkward though it may be for men, erectile dysfunction affects women as well.

“You automatically assume that [erectile dysfunction] is your fault,” said a female sophomore, “even though it doesn’t make any sense, because it is a guy’s body’s reaction to you.”


How can pornography consumption affect sexual performance?

“The exact mechanism has yet to be determined,” Peluso said, but there may be neuroadaptive changes in the brain that impair sexual function in habitual pornography users.”

Peluso cited a study in which researchers treated Internet sex addiction with naltrexone. They found that dopamine and other neurotransmitters in the brain may be impacted by habitual pornography use in a manner similar to drug addiction.

Italian urologist Carlo Foresta carried out a 2011 study in which he found a strong link between pornography and erectile dysfunction. Seventy percent of men in the study who suffered from erectile dysfunction were regular pornography users, and interviews suggested that the actual figure was greater than this. The team concluded that “regular use of Internet pornography leads to hyper-stimulation of young men’s erotic sensibilities and … desensitization.”

According to some medical professionals, pornography can become an addiction.

“Studies suggest that there might be some people who would be vulnerable to pornography taking on an addictive quality to the point where it is interfering with their lives and they can’t seem to manage their viewing,” said Executive Director of Health and Counseling Services Gus Jordan.

According to Assistant Professor of Spanish Juana Gamero de Coca, who has done research on the topic of pornography and teaches a first-year seminar called Heterosexual Relationships, today’s pornography is significantly more “hard-core” than it was even 15 years ago.

“Pornography is somehow based on crossing a limit,” said Gamero de Coca. “It has to be in order to indulge people with erotic imaginations … Porn has become more violent, more perverse [in recent years]. At the beginning of the 20th century, novels like Madame Bovary and Lady Chatterley’s Lover were illegal because they were considered ‘pornographic.’

“I think that porn as we know it will end,” she continued. “Torture, rape and child molestation are becoming normalized.”

According to Gamero de Coca and other scholars, the trend affects users: tastes change to be more extreme as they become normalized to what previously aroused them.

The Campus has withheld the names of students who feared social repercussions.

“In the beginning it was always pictures,” said a male first-year. “Now it’s videos on the Internet. I guess it was easier to get erect before.”

Pornography consumption may further divorce students’ porn-inspired fantasies from the private intimacies with another person.

“For many, real sex does not always live up to the expectations pornography provides,” said Peluso. “Therefore, [men] might experience sexual difficulties when they are faced with the real thing.”

Another male first-year said that he compares real sex to porn.

“I see things in porn and want to try them out,” he said. “But I do not compare the girls I sleep with to the girls in porn.”

“There is a closed line of communication when talking about sex with boys,” said a female sophomore. “So much of what we do is based on what we think guys want and what we think they watch in porn, but you never know.”

Gamero de Coca cited a recent study that showed the average worldwide age at which boys begin to use pornography is nine.

“This is very scary,” she said. “All the information that they are learning about sexuality — a fascinating subject for every boy and girl — is being fed to them by the media and porn.”

Many male (and female) students at the College admit to having watched pornography before they had experienced sex.

“I watched a lot of porn before I had sex for the first time,” said a male first-year.


Some students remain skeptical about the link between porn and erectile dysfunction.

“Becoming used to any specific mode of arousal can render a person less erotically flexible, but to vilify pornography is misguided,” said Claire Sibley ’13. “I’m not convinced that’s the issue our campus is dealing with. It’s telling that we’re talking about erectile dysfunction and pornography — after all, the stereotype dictates that men watch porn.

“What I suspect is being ignored is dysfunction in general — less obvious in the case of women, but just as real. If the problem really is porn, the solution is — try masturbating without porn. If that doesn’t work, get some sleep and reduce your stress.”


Men also face “condom collapse syndrome,” or the inability to maintain an erection when using a condom. Foresta’s Italian research team also found that porn-influenced erectile dysfunction was linked to a decline in condom use.

“Condoms are definitely desensitizing, and a porn addiction will not help the problem,” said Peluso. “In a way, you are being desensitized twice.”

“I think that sometimes men use [condoms] as an excuse [for] why they cannot have or sustain an erection,” said Kelliher. “However, more often than not there is some porn viewing going on as well.”

Condom-collapse syndrome can lead to risky behavior — sexual partners frustrated by the man’s inability to maintain an erection with a condom might choose to forego protection altogether in favor of having sex immediately.

Kelliher claims to have seen a large increase in demand for Plan B since around 2005. She also claims to have seen more cases of genital herpes in the past five years than previously. The test for genital herpes, at $110, is the most expensive sexual transmitted infection test.

“It is sad to see that [the porn] industry has taken something so simple and basic away from your generation,” Kelliher said. “This should not be a problem for kids your age. Hopefully we can start talking about it more and make it more comfortable for students to come in if they have a problem. We can help then and we can get them through this.”

Peluso, Jordan and Kelliher encourage students who are suffering erectile dysfunction to seek help for erectile dysfunction at Parton Health Center.

Do You Masturbate Too Much? Urologist Tobias Köhler, Therapist Dan Drake

See when spanking the monkey becomes a serious problem

By Markham Heid, July 16, 2014

What’s your number? Whether you masturbate twice a week or twice a day, you probably have a set figure in your head when it comes to your favorite pastime. Match or exceed that mark, and you start wondering whether you’re doing it too much. 

Here’s the good news: There’s no magic number when it comes to a healthy masturbation habit, says Dan Drake, a certified sex addiction therapist and clinical counselor. “However often you masturbate, it’s not a problem until it starts affecting your life in negative ways,” Drake explains.

So when does a harmless exercise turn into a harmful addiction? Here are the physical and psychological symptoms that may indicate you need to holster your hand and give your boner an extended breather.

You’re hurting yourself. Yes, some guys beat off to the point of injury, says Tobias Köhler, M.D., a urologist at Southern Illinois University. That injury could be something as mild as skin chaffing, or a more serious condition like Peyronie’s disease—a buildup of plaque in the shaft of your penis that can result from using too much pressure while stroking it, Dr. Köhler explains. (Basically, you can choke your chicken too hard.) If you’re hurting yourself, you need to cut back, he warns.

It’s affecting your relationships or your job. Maybe you stay in on Friday nights to flog instead of meeting up with friends. Or you’ve been late to meetings because you were giving yourself a hand in the men’s room. If you find your habit is harming your social life or your job—or preventing you from getting out and finding a partner—those are signs you need to adjust your routine, Drake says.

You have problems ejaculating. Some guys who masturbate a lot using specific types of stimuli—say, certain categories of porn coupled with specific hand movements—find that they can’t recreate the same type of excitement during sex, Dr. Köhler explains. Basically, rubbing it out teaches your brain and body to get off only in response to your solo act, and you experience problems getting it up or finishing with a real-life partner. “If that happens, you have a problem that needs to be addressed,” says Dr. Köhler.

You can’t stop thinking about it. If you often feel distracted by thoughts of when or how you’re going to yank it next, that’s a strong indication you're dealing with a serious behavior, Drake says.

You’ve tried to cut back, but you’ve failed. “One of the major criteria of any type of addiction is a loss of control,” Drake explains. Just like a problem smoker or gambler, if you can’t manage to curb your habit when you recognize it’s out of control, that’s an issue.  

On top of all this, there are some times when masturbating just isn’t a great idea. For example, Dr. Köhler and his colleagues have found that diddling every day for 2 weeks depletes a man’s sperm count by nearly 50 percent. “If you and a partner are trying to get pregnant, masturbating could be hurting your chances,” he explains.

If you realize you have a problem, what should you do about it? Drake says there are two main techniques of addressing the issue: Cutting yourself off cold turkey, or the “harm reduction” method, which entails trimming your habit while still allowing yourself the occasional five-knuckle shuffle. You could attempt either on your own, but if you fail, seeing a therapist or sex addiction counselor could help you craft a smarter game plan, says Drake.

“There’s nothing unhealthy or problematic with masturbating,” he’s quick to add. “But if it becomes detrimental to your life, then you need to treat it like you would any other harmful habit.”


Does Porn Contribute to ED? by Tyger Latham, Psy.D. in Therapy Matters

Link to this Psychology Today post.

Growing evidence suggests that too much porn can diminish sexual performance.

Published on May 3, 2012 by Tyger Latham, Psy.D. in Therapy Matters

I often see men in my practice who are referred by their urologists for “sexual performance issues.” Frequently, these men present with erectile dysfunction (ED), premature ejaculation, or in some cases delayed ejaculation. By the time they reach me, most of them have undergone all kinds of medical tests, only to be told that their “plumbing is just fine” and so their problems must be in their heads. Maybe in some cases this is true, but often I find the problem is more complicated. In fact, I’m starting to see a growing number of men whose ED appears to stem from a combination of both physiological and psychological factors.

Over the past month, several male clients have sheepishly asked me whether I think their ED might be related to their frequent reliance on pornography when masturbating. Like many health professionals who work with sexual dysfunction in men, I use to think that a man’s ability to get an erection and orgasm while viewing pornography was by definition a rule out for ED. “If you can get it up and climax during porn than the problem can’t be physical,” I erroneously concluded; but anecdotal evidence has got me thinking otherwise.

In researching this topic, I quickly discovered that my male clients are not alone. A cursory search of the Internet unearthed dozens of websites and message boards inundated with personal accounts of men who attest to the fact that excessive masturbation to online pornography has seriously interfered with their ability to be sexually intimate with a partner.

Pornography on the Internet has gone viral, with large numbers of men (and women) taking advantage of the ease, affordability, and anonymity that comes with watching pornography online. And the type of pornography available on the Internet is astounding. This is not your father’s Playboy magazine. “Soft-core” erotic images have been replaced with a dizzying array of material depicting all kinds of kinky themes and fetishes. This imagery is not only more graphic but it’s also available through video streaming which can provide the viewer with instantaneous sexual gratification. The ease and immediacy with which one can view pornography is part of the problem say experts.

The study of pornography has been an area of interest for academics for decades but the impact of chronic pornography viewing on sexual performance has only recently been taken up by the medical field. A preliminary search of medical journals found very few citations directly referencing pornography and ED, although, I suspect this is likely to change as more men (and women) present with pornography-induced sexual dysfunction.

One such study I am aware of was conducted by a group of medical experts affiliated with the Italian Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine. According to a survey of 28,000 Italian men, researchers found “gradual but devastating” effects of repeated exposure to pornography over long period of time. According to the head of the study, Carlos Forsta, the problem “starts with lower reactions to porn sites, then there is a general drop in libido and in the end it becomes impossible to get an erection.”

So what accounts for the correlation between pornography and erectile dysfunction? In an excellent blog post in Psychology Today (“Why Do I Find Porn More Exciting Than a Partner?”), Gary Wilson, an anatomy and physiology teacher breaks down the neurophysiological links between pornography and ED. Wilson explains that there is a detrimental feedback loop that can emerge between the brain and the penis when men rely heavily on pornographic images to masturbate. With Internet pornography, Wilson writes “it’s easy to overstimulate your brain.” Specifically, overstimulation brought on by viewing pornography can produce neurological changes—specifically, decreasing sensitivity to the pleasure seeking neurotransmitter dopamine—which can desensitize a person to actual sexual encounters with a partner. These neurochemical changes not only contribute to a person becoming “addicted” to pornography but they can also make it incredibly difficult to abstain from viewing pornography entirely.

Men who rely excessively on pornography to reach orgasm will often complain of withdrawal-like symptoms when they decide to go cold-turkey. Such men describe feeling “sexless,” leading many to become anxious and depressed about their diminished libido. Evidence suggests, however, that libido does eventually return—usually within 2-6 weeks of continued abstinence—as evidenced by the gradual return of morning erections as well as spontaneous erections throughout the day. “Recovery” is possible and many men have reported going on to experience extreme physical pleasure during intercourse with their partners after abstaining from pornography.

So, if you are finding the only way that you can climax is through porn, it might be time for you to consider abstaining and consulting a professional. As many men are painfully discovering, real sex involves touching and being touched by another person, not simply touching a mouse and then yourself.


Tyger Latham, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist practicing in Washington, DC. He counsels individuals and couples and has a particular interest in sexual trauma, gender development, and LGBT concerns. His blog, Therapy Matters, explores the art and science of psychotherapy.

Don’t let erectile dysfunction get you down. Psychotherapist Nuala Deering (2017)

Friday, April 28, 2017, By Sharon Ni Chonchuir

With one in 10 men experiencing erectile dysfunction, specialists urge men to seek help and avail of a growing range of treatments, says Sharon Ní Chonchuir.

ERECTILE dysfunction (ED) affects one in 10 men at any given time. According to the Irish Heart Foundation, 18% of men aged 50 to 59, 38% of men aged between 60 and 69 and 57% of men aged over 70 suffer from the condition.

“It’s a common problem and it’s actually a natural and expected part of the ageing process for many men,” says Dr Ivor Cullen, a consultant urologist at University Hospital Waterford.

As anyone who followed Charlotte and Trey’s storyline on Sex in the City will remember, there is a lot that can be done to treat ED. 

One of the best-known ways is with a little blue pill called Viagra.

“It’s one of four different drugs called PDE5 inhibitors which revolutionised the landscape when they came online in the mid-1990s,” says Dr Cullen. 

But new forms of treatment are coming on stream.

Former cricketer Ian Botham dominated the cricket pitch in the 1980s but, off the pitch, it was his sex life that generated headlines, with one lover claiming their trysts were so energetic that they broke the bed. 

It’s why eyebrows were raised when the 61-year-old spoke about receiving treatment for erectile problems last year. 

However, he didn’t opt for Viagra or any alternative pills. He received a course of low-intensity shockwave treatment (LIST), which is newly available in Ireland.

It’s easy to see why he chose this treatment. It is said to have a high success rate and to show visible results within three weeks.

According to a 2015 study in the Scandinavian Journal of Urology, researchers took 112 men who were unable to have sex without medication and gave half weekly doses of LIST and the other half a placebo. 

By the end of treatment, 57% of those who had LIST were able to have intercourse compared with 9% of those who received the placebo.

Despite such promising results, Dr Cullen cautions against concluding that LIST represents a miracle cure. 

It doesn’t work for everyone and in up to 40% of cases, it won’t work if the ED is the result of diabetes, prostate surgery or pelvic fracture.

In just the same way, Viagra and PDE5 inhibitors aren’t a cure-all.

Viagra can have side effects such as nasal stuffiness, headache and heartburn. Then there’s the fact that it cures only the symptoms and perhaps not the causes of ED. 

Over time, the underlying cause may worsen and Viagra may not produce the same desired result.

ED often occurs because of a diminished blood flow and drugs like Viagra restore the supply. But if the blood vessels surrounding the penis are narrowed, it’s likely other blood vessels are too. By prescribing the likes of Viagra or LIST, doctors may be ignoring the primary problem.

“The penis is seen as a window on the heart and a problem with the penis can be an indicator of cardiovascular problems,” says Dr Cullen. 

“ED can also result from diabetes, prostate problems or the side effects of drugs such as antidepressants. When doctors are assessing patients, we have to ask them questions and run blood tests to see if there are any previously undiagnosed problems of which ED is just one symptom. That problem will then have to be treated before we treat the ED.”

The manopause (or male menopause) may have a part to play in ED too.

Just as women’s hormones change in middle age, causing low libido, so too can testosterone decline in men, with much the same results.

This has led some experts to believe that testosterone replacement therapy could help improve men’s erections. Dr Cullen has seen this work, especially when combined with other treatments. 

“There is unambiguous evidence that improving testosterone levels in men with low levels can improve ED and enhance their response to Viagra-type medications,” he says.

It’s not just medical interventions that can help. Diet may be a factor too. 

“79% of older adults are overweight according to the Over 50s in a Changing Ireland Study published in 2014,” says Orla Walsh, a dietician with the Dublin Nutrition Centre. 

“Overweight men are more likely to suffer from ED as their blood vessels are damaged and their blood flow is affected.”

This means that losing weight can make a difference. Walsh recommends taking 30 minutes of exercise a day, stopping smoking and drinking moderately.

She also suggests adding elements of the Mediterranean diet to your meals. 

“Basically, anything that is good for the heart is good for the penis,” she says. 

“So add things like beans, peas, lentils, olive oil, fish and nuts like walnuts and brazil nuts.”

She particularly recommends beetroot juice. 

“It’s full of nitrates which help the blood vessels to dilate and the blood to flow more easily,” she says.

In up to 20% of cases, ED stems from a psychological or emotional problem, which means that counselling can help.

Nuala Deering is a relationship and psychosexual therapist and ED is one of the most common issues she encounters.

She works primarily with couples who are in committed relationships and includes the man’s partner in the counselling sessions. 

“It’s important they work as a team to overcome this issue,” she says. 

“It’s not good if the partner is angry, upset or annoyed. That will only make the man feel guilty or bad.”

Deering also treats a significant number of young men in their 20s. Even though their issues are different, they do have a lot in common with her older clients.

“Their confidence and self-esteem are affected,” she says.

“They often feel hopeless by the time they come for therapy, believing they can’t be helped. But in almost all cases, therapy helps.”

There are many psychological causes of ED. 

“Stress, anxiety and depression are all factors,” she says. 

“Performance anxiety is something many men mention too. With the amount of sex in the media around us, it’s easy for them to believe that everyone else is having great sex and that they’re inadequate because they are not.”

Porn also has an impact. 

“Lots of young men have learned how to be sexual through porn rather than through an intimate sensual relationship with an ordinary human being,” she says.

“They have learned to have an unhealthy fixation on the end result — the orgasm — rather than on the sensual pleasure. This can cause big problems.”

Treatment begins with the men stopping all sexual activity. 

“They have to go back to the beginning, with no pressure or anxiety,” she says.

“They have to build confidence and understanding and they do this by focussing on sensual pleasure. They take time to work up towards full sexual relations again.”

While they do this, they also tackle their problems with self-esteem, anxiety and depression in their therapy sessions. 

“My bio-sexual-social approach takes everything into account,” says Deering. 

“This allows them to deal with underlying issues and it affects how they feel, their relationships and their intimacy levels. It doesn’t just improve their sex life. It improves their whole life.”

Ian Botham appears to have done men a favour. ED is a problem that most men experience in their lifetimes and yet it’s still a taboo subject.

Viagra may be the best-known treatment but as Ian Botham’s story shows, it’s not the only one.

Men often find it difficult to open up, says Deering. 

“But they should because they might just discover that they can be helped.”

They might be helped by diet or lifestyle changes, psychosexual therapy or medical interventions.

“The range of treatments is expanding all the time and the more options we have, the better the chances of improvement,” says Dr Cullen. 

“There’s a lack of understanding and embarrassment around this topic but men should see their doctors about it. They will be helped.”

There is a range of medical treatments for erectile dysfunction:

1. Viagra is one of four PDE5 inhibitor drugs. All are taken in pill form.

Some — like Viagra — are taken up to an hour before intercourse while others are taken on a regular basis in low doses. 

While Viagra drastically increases the blood flow to the penis in the short term, the low-dose option increases blood flow over time, with a view to improving the quality of erections in the long term.

2. LIST is a procedure where doctors use an ultrasound probe to deliver 1,500 shocks to five points along the penis. This procedure is carried out over four to 12 sessions over the course of four weeks. It works by encouraging the growth of new blood vessels to the penis.

3. Injectable therapies involve a drug called prostaglandin being injected directly into the penis. They are effective within five to 10 minutes.

4. This same drug can also be taken by inserting a pellet into the urethra or by massaging a cream onto the end of the penis. 

“There are drawbacks to both of these options,” says Dr Cullen. 

“With the pellet, the end of the water pipe can become sore and with the cream, you can’t have oral sex or use a condom.”

5. Surgery is an option. A permanent prosthesis can be implanted into the penis. Nothing is visible externally. The resulting erection is as hard and sensitive as before and the man can achieve climax.

6. There’s a less complex option involving a malleable implant or the non-invasive option of a vacuum device. 

“This involves the penis being inserted into a vacuum tube where negative pressure draws blood into it and a constriction ring then traps that blood there,” says Dr Cullen. “The resulting erection is different to a normal erection but some patients are very satisfied with it.”


Dr. Rosalyn Dischiavo on porn-induced ED

This comment can be found under David Ley's post -   An Erectile Dysfunction Myth: Pornography is not the problem. It is the second comment by an expert disputing Ley's assertions.

re: the problem with conclusions

I'm sorry, Dr. Ley, but your conclusions are not valid because the research you quote does not address the specific type of sexually explicit material that these men are watching. The problem with most pornography research is that it almost always uses still porn (pictures of sexual acts or nudes), or films chosen by the researchers. These films are often uninteresting to the participants in the study.

I don't know of a study that has allowed users of internet porn who state that they have ED to simply cruise the web as they normally would, look at what they normally look at (from most accounts, multiple, brief clips of a huge variety of sexual acts, sometimes more and more extreme), and then measure something relevant over an extended period. These men could then be compared with a control group. I would like to see a study done this way. If there is one, will someone on this thread please forward it to me? I need it for my research. But I don't think it exists yet.

In the absence of such a study, I have to agree with the young men here. They have removed one variable, and they are seeing consistent results. And no one is giving them credit for figuring out what their problem is and finding a simple solution. I read the Reddit threads. Hundreds of posts, I read. What I found was that over a year or so of conversation about it, the men who stopped masturbating figured out (with the help of others on the thread) that they could return to masturbation after a short period, as long as they didn't turn back to internet, video porn.

What is not being said here is that many of my colleagues and fellow sexologists are tremendously concerned about the rhetoric against pornography. They are afraid, and rightly so, of censorship. Censorship is pernicious, and undermines all research. It kills curiosity, debilitates progress. I have NO INTEREST in censoring anyone's use of sexually explicit material (though I do agree with the control of depictions of children or non-consenting adults, or animals, who cannot consent).

But as a professor and a professional who teaches daily about human sexuality, I think we can certainly afford a scientific, multi-disciplined look at all of these issues. Indeed, we can't afford not to. As a human being and as a former therapist, I am tired of people who halt conversations midway because they refuse to look at their own motives, fears, and interests. Let's keep having the conversation. Let's deal with WHY we don't like what "the other side" is saying. Let's remain CURIOUS about each issue. And let's continue to LISTEN to each other as well as declare our lines in the sand.

Erectile Dysfunction Forums Offer Raw Insight Into How Millions Of Men Cope With The Condition (HuffPo)

"They found that nearly 60% of men posting on the forums were under 24 years old. This was a surprising finding for researchers, as erectile dysfunction is generally considered a condition that strikes older men."

Erectile dysfunction (ED) is a common condition among men, where they are unable to get and maintain an erection. The condition can contribute to relationship problems, erode self-confidence and cause untold stress.It can also signal underlying health conditions such as diabetes.

There's no denying that ED can be an embarrassing issue for lots of men. And for many, it is easier to turn to an internet forum for help rather than their doctor, as they feel more comfortable talking anonymously about their problems.

In an analysis of posts and comments from internet forums focused on ED, researchers were surprised to discover a large number of younger men opening up about the problem.

Forum participants opened up about deeply personal issues including reliance on porn, mental health and injuries to the penis.

Superdrug Online Doctor's research team [who work for a company that is trying to sell drugs, including sexual enhancement drugs] analysed 7,835 comments and posts on a prominent ED forum, which had been posted over a period of eight years.

The research offers a fascinating insight into what men are saying about the condition.

They found that nearly 60% of men posting on the forums were under 24 years old. This was a surprising finding for researchers, as erectile dysfunction is generally considered a condition that strikes older men.

Researchers also discovered men were talking a lot about their reliance on internet porn and medications such as Viagra, Cialis and Levitra.

The semantic analysis looked at words which were commonly located near the word "penis" and found that many of them highlighted health problems and injuries to the penis.

The most common mentions were of words like "problem" and "problems", followed by "curved", "injury" and "curvature".

This, researchers believe, indicates that forum users could've also been discussing "curvature of the penis" or Peyronie’s disease, which can be caused by injuries during sex.

Other disconcerting mentions included terms such as "numb", "damage", "broken", "snapped," and "sound" – indicating that penis injuries might be more common than expected.

One man, aged 20, wrote: "Two years ago I had an incident. As I was about to achieve full erection something kinda snaps… I’m scared that I might have fractured my penis."

According to health experts, men are more likely to sustain such injuries if they have priapism or prolonged erections caused by taking Viagra.Another common theme was the link between mental health issues such as performance anxiety and watching porn.

One man wrote on the forum: "I have been viewing internet pornography frequently (4 to 5 times a week) for the past 6 years. I am in my mid-20s and have had a problem getting and maintaining an erection with sexual partners since my late teens when I first started looking at internet porn."

Researchers found that the most common phrase after "erectile dysfunction" was "internet porn", "performance anxiety" and "watching porn".

The forum also highlighted that many people discussing ED also discussed mental health issues such as "depression" and "stress".

Original article

Link to Full "study"

Second article about the study


Porn Is A Real Problem...

Like, huge. Basically, there is a whole section called "Mental Health: Anxiety, Performance, and Porn" because when it came to mental health aspects of ED, porn was mentioned 1,850 times. In fact, according to the research "common terms include 'porn' (which is mentioned more than twice as often as second most–common phrase), 'anxiety,' 'issue,' 'psychological,' and 'stress.'.

While porn dependence can sometimes be a cause of ED (one man said “I am in my mid-20s and have had a problem getting and maintaining an erection with sexual partners since my late teens when I first started looking at internet porn"), there is also an issue of watching porn causing unrealistic performance expectation. And then there's all the anxieties and stresses that arise from that. In fact as far as common phrases went: "internet porn", ""performance anxiety", and "watching porn" were all close to the top.

Erectile dysfunction increases among young men, sex therapist Brandy Engler, PhD (2013)

There are various cases of male erectile dysfunction today. These cases are on the rise especially in men below the age of 40 years. The Journal of Sexual Medicine has published a recent study, where every single man below the age of 40 years among a group of four seeks help for a problem of erectile dysfunction. A sex therapist with a PhD, Brandy Engler and also the author of The Men on My Couch says,” In the past couple of years I have seen the number of men coming for this on the rise.” There are various reasons why young guys are having a hard time getting hard and there are various ways to deal with it.

Chronic health conditions like diabetes and low testosterone levels are normally the causes of erectile dysfunction amongst many men but with younger men, things are different. According to the study one contributing factor is smoking and use of illicit drugs which is very common among these young patients. Director of male reproductive medicine and surgery at Mount Sinai Hospital, Natan Bar-Chama says that other contributing factors to erectile dysfunction among younger guys are: excessive drinking, lack of exercise and poor nutrition. A solution to this problem is quitting smoking and staying fit. Bar-Chama adds that anxiety is not only causing this problem in women but also in men. Work related stress or failure to perform can lead to having problems rising to the occasion or even maintaining the erection.

Another major thing that causes erectile dysfunction among the younger men is what Engler calls the porn effect. Unlimited novelty is what results in the younger men from viewing porn. When this turns into addiction and becomes too much, it leads to a desensitizing effect, says Engler. If constant novelty lacks, it becomes much harder to have a hard on.

When your partner experiences this problem, don’t get mad at them. If your first reaction when your partner doesn’t get a hard on is getting mad, this will just add him more stress. It will give them emotional pressure because he will feel his erection is only needed to validate her. Engler says that instead, show him you still enjoy having sex with him and tell him this is no big deal. Focusing on getting you pleased and taking off these demands on his manhood can help easing the anxiety. Slow things a bit and Engler says this will even help alleviate his erectile dysfunction problem.

If the problem keeps on happening on many occasions, discuss it with your partner and do not use confrontational language, instead be supportive and use “we” when talking. Do not bring up the topic when you are both naked in bed, a less vulnerable situation will do good. Do things together like working out together with your partner and stop watching porn for some time to resolve your problem but if it persists, it’s time to see a doctor or a psychologist.


Date: 24 July 2013

Posted By : by Pauline



Erectile dysfunction pills are now the top party drug for British millennials. Sexual psychotherapist Raymond Francis, (2017)

Coke, MDMA, speed… Viagra? This is now the standard pitch of UK drug dealers as more and more young people are buying the erectile dysfunction pills on the black market for recreational use on a night out.

The black market has seen a boom in Viagra sales as the pills become an integral “part of the party.” According to Sky News, cocaine is losing its prime position as one the most-craved drugs, as people instead turn to the little blue helpers to enhance their sexual performance or counter the effect of alcohol and other drugs that can render people impotent in bed.

Drug dealers say they are increasingly targeting freshers at universities looking for some “skirt.” According to a drug dealer from Greater Manchester, he and other pushers are “making a killing” from the sale of the blue pills. Dealers are able to buy pills for as little as a pound, but can sell them for a minimum £5 ($6.60), he told the Daily Star.

“Freshers week, when all these youngsters are away from home for the first time, s**gging anything in sight, is a time when we make a killing,” the dealer said. The pills are becoming so widespread that even 99p stores are stocking them, and prescriptions for them have tripled over the past 10 years.

They now account for 90 percent of all seized counterfeit drugs, with £17.4 million ($23 million) worth of illicit pills being seized in 2016. That is up from £2.5 million ($3.3 million) in 2012-13. The total value of the seized drugs over the past five years therefore amounts to £49.4 million ($65.2 million).

Sexual psychotherapist Raymond Francis, who works at Harley Street's Apex Practice, claims he has seen an increase in patients using the pills who are typically under the age of 35 and who are not in fixed relationships.

 “I believe their dependence on Viagra for recreational reasons, if you like, is driven to some degree by the plethora of sexual imagery through pornography which is so instantly available,” he told Sky News.

He claimed that, although his patients did not report any physiological issues, they had become physically dependent on the drugs in their struggle to reach the unrealistic portrayal of male sexual performance in porn.

“This is one of the last few remaining taboos in modern society today, even in this day and age of openness, male sexual performance is one of the few matters in life which is really considered deeply confidential,” Francis added.

Danny Lee-Frost, head of operations for Enforcement Group, told Sky News: “They dwarf anything else we seize. When I first started doing this you'd get people flying out to India for a fortnight holiday and then coming back with a couple of suitcases, their mates designed them a little website and they were dealing it all from their spare bedroom.

“Now you've got organised crime involved, you’ve got the websites hosted in places like Russia, you've got the money going out to the Cayman Islands, you’ve got this stuff being smuggled in. It’s a big, big business,” he said.

16 Nov, 2017



Erection problems from too much porn (Swedish), psychiatrists Inger Björklund, Goran Sedvallson

Posted on May 7, 2013 , by Linda Hjerten (Google translate)

  • Too much porn can make young men impotent.
  • The reality is simply no longer exciting enough.
  • increasing number are now being hit by porn impotence.

This is something we discussed and researched for some time in the U.S., including the site's that caters to men who have watched a lot of porn and now find it difficult to get an erection when they are trying to be with a partner of flesh and blood. The problem seems now to have taken hold Sweden. If this writing today Dagens Nyheter inside.

A quick search on the net on the words "impotent of porn" you will find several threads on some of the biggest discussion forums where men, many of them young and even some women, discusses the issue. While pornography is becoming easier to find and consume it becomes increasingly common to masturbate to porn, which can sometimes be very rough and far from reality.

For some, this can cause problems.

DN has spoken with Inger Björklund, psychotherapist at RFSU Clinic in Stockholm where you meet more and more young men with erection problems from too much porn viewing.

- It seems that reality is not sufficient to create a strong enough excitement. Man "teeth" is not a real partner. This is not a new phenomenon, but today's porn available around the clock. I-phones, I-pads, computers, televisions - anytime and anywhere you can see more and more advanced films, says Inger Björklund to Dagens Nyheter.

At the hospital in Karlskrona is a specific sexological reception. The manager Goran Sedvallson think the problem with porn impotence will grow with that pornography is becoming more accessible. Those who watch too much porn can trade in a bad ignition pattern he says to DN:

- It may be that men may not be able or feel pleasure when they have sex for real. They are so influenced by porn movie's fictional world that they can not handle a normal intercourse in real life. Obviously this can cause problems for the individual and in a relationship, says Sedvallson to DN.

According to a survey study Ungdomsstyrelsen done so watching nine out of ten young men and three out of ten young women more or less regular porn.

Erektionsproblem av för mycket porr

Everything You Need To Know About Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction. Dr. Ralph Esposito; Elsa Orlandini Psy.D. (2017)

Can XXX Movies Cause Erectile Dysfunction? Here's What You Need To Know

So things are got hot and heavy in the bedroom and you find yourself unable to perform. You wonder what it is — you love your partner and really want to connect with her. She's saying all the right things, she's doing all the right moves — but for some reason, you're just not able to get a strong erection and give her what she's begging for.

“You are a virile young guy and your partner is way hot, so what’s the problem? What’s really weird is that this never happens when you're looking at porn, only with real-world stuff,” says Robert Weiss, a digital-age intimacy and relationships expert specializing in infidelity and addictions, author of Out of the Doghouse.

If this sounds familiar, you may be dealing with porn-induced erectile dysfunction (PIED), an issue that is affecting growing numbers of physically healthy men. “PIED is tied to what psychologists call a “conditioned response.”


1. Is Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction A Myth?

Basically, if you spend 70, 80, or even 90% of your sexual life with online porn — endless images of sexy, exciting, constantly changing partners and experiences — you become conditioned to that level of sexual intensity,” says Weiss. Then, by comparison, you find your real-world partners significantly less stimulating, regardless of how much you like a particular in-the-flesh partner.

Erectile dysfunction is, of course, complicated. There’s a lot of reasons it may happen. So, if you're suffering from it, you shouldn’t necessarily immediately assume it's related to your porn habit.

“There are a variety of serious medical issues that are complex and not easily corrected that can affect ones ability to obtain and maintain an erection, and there are a number of causes of erectile dysfunction (ED) that are well within our control to address,” says Magnus Sullivan, creator of and its sister site,

If you're experiencing ED, it's important to understand the cause in order to take the appropriate actions to correct the issue. “Diabetes, MS, prostate surgery and kidney failure can cause ED and these are complex issues that require skilled medical attention. General stress, drug use, relationship problems, lack of fitness and smoking are also common causes of ED, and these causes are more within our personal control to moderate,” says Sullivan.

Most men experience some form of erectile dysfunction at some point (also a loss of sexual appetite or sexual anorexia), but our culture doesn't recognize it as such. And in often cases, masturbation, sometimes via porn, is actually a way to train yourself to last longer and have more endurance.

“Masturbation is dick training. If approached with creativity and a sense of possibility ('How long can I remain erect before orgasm? How can I remain erect after orgasm? Can I orgasm after my first, second or third orgasm?'), masturbation is the best way to not only address ED, but also understand the reach of your sexual potential,” says Sullivan. Unless you have one of the medical issues cited above, you can remain erect after orgasm, you can have multiple orgasms, you can have a vigorous sexual life well into your twilight years.

But, of course, everything in moderation. We’re in no way suggesting porn or masturbation is a bad thing. It's actually very good for you. But there is a point that you're watching so much porn that it enters into an addictive tendency. You need more graphic, more intense, rougher sexual situations on that screen to stimulate you, and real life starts to just not be enough.

That girl in your bed is just not exciting you as much as the virtual reality you have gotten yourself absorbed into. If you're having ED issues here, the chances are this is psychological, not biological. Your porn habit has made you suffer loss of sexual appetite (or sexual anorexia) in real life. It happens. More than you’d think.

Quite simply, that’s a point where you may be going too far. “Men tend to become desensitized to erotic stimuli over long-term porn use,” says Dr. Ralph Esposito, a functional medicine practitioner at Armonk Integrative Medicine and an expert in integrative urology and men's health. “It's as if their body craves the porn when they're in front of a naked woman. This has to do with dopamine receptors and the pleasure seeking system, which produces a high of some sort.”

There’s been a lot of research done on the relationship between watching porn and our own in-real-life relationships. The Journal of Sexual Medicine recently completed a study, finding that porn watchers fall into several categories. These categories include recreational, compulsive and those considered at risk.

Another study linked porn consumption to erectile dysfunction. The risk for this will largely depend on where you fall on into those three categories — recreational views have a lot less to worry about than at-risk viewers — but the ultimate results say that if you're watching a ton of porn, you may get so used to those over the top erotic scenes than the real life girl in front of you is less able to arouse you. You're becoming desensitized to the real thing, via the virtual world. Brave new world, indeed.

Porn is healthy and should never be shunned or treated as a sin (we had moms for that!), but too much of a good thing can be a bad thing, no matter what that good thing is. The truth is, people are watching porn more than ever. A study in 2014 found that a third of men were watching porn every single day. That was three years ago. It's just getting higher, especially as the world grows more virtual and more interconnected.

“I used pornography as a tool to enhance my sexuality and try to achieve erections,” says Dan Canfield, an erectile dysfunction expert, and life long sufferer of the condition, author of the forthcoming book Hack the ED Code.

“I was born with a form erectile dysfunction and tried almost everything to get an erection. Unfortunately, since I had Corporal Erectile Tissue Fibrosis, any stimulus I attempted failed. Keep in mind, porn did stimulate my mind and led to me getting extremely aroused, viscerally,” says Canfield.

Research has shown that overdosing on pornography can, over time, lead to desensitizing certain receptors in the brain. “The three main causes of E.D. can be categorized as Biological, Psychosocial and Musculoskeletal. Addiction to porn would most certainly be Psychosocial. In my work, I have found that communication with your partner is key to dealing with any form of erectile dysfunction,” says Canfield.

So many men who now frequent pornography sites have developed overstimulation and too much masturbation and have taught themselves to only be stimulated by newer and more unrealistic stimuli. Over stimulation is making it harder to be stimulated, basically. In order for them to have any arousal with their real meat requires a lot of focus and concentration.

“This can be very distant heartening for both parties as the woman may find herself not desirable and thinking there something wrong with her,” says Elsa Orlandini, Psy.D.. licensed clinical psychologist and certified sex therapist.

As an example, see this story of one user on Reddit:

“Recently I met this girl at work who I found extremely attractive and I decided I wanted to lose it with her, I took her to a hotel and all and we did the usual, foreplay and everything but when it came to doing the deed my friend was not up for it. It was extremely strange for me because I assumed a 25-year-old virgin would have a rock solid cock ready to bang this chick's brains out. But nothing, it just got flaccid and it was extremely embarrassing for me. We have tried again on a few occasions and pretty much the same thing, and I'm pretty sure she won't bother with me again. What I found strange at first was that when I watch porn I could get it hard, extremely hard and have the most amazing orgasms. I have been watching porn since I was 16 and pretty much discovered that you could cum after masturbating almost accidentally and have been regularly masturbating for almost 9 years now.”

The man who lives with the burden of secrecy and knowing that he has an alternative sexual life with porn stars — virtual entities he will never meet. This behavioral pattern can be distractive addictive and very costly.

“Many of my clients find themselves not going to work not sleeping and not participating in their daily activities to find pockets of time within which to have these relationships with these virtual entities. Their partners progressively become more distant and angered and challenge their fidelity and challenge their ability to perform,” says Dr. Orlandini.

At times, by the time the person decides to get better, the partner is no longer available nor willing to open themselves intimately.

2. What To Do If You're Suffering From Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction

The quick answer to this is that you need to stop looking at porn. Putting porn aside and replacing it with real-world fun with other people — recreation with friends and loved ones — will cause your conditioned response to porn to fade. “Usually, if you walk away from porn, your sexual performance will return to its normal level within a few months. That said, returning to baseline can take a year or more in some men,” says Weiss.

Of note, medical issues can cause erectile dysfunction, even in younger men. “If that is the case for you, medications like Viagra may help. Similarly, early-life trauma issues can lead to erectile dysfunction. If so, therapy that helps you process this trauma might help. If your issue is solely related to porn, however, medications and counseling are unlikely to help, and you’ll need to quit the porn,” says Weiss.

How To Talk To Your Partner

If porn-related erectile dysfunction is causing problems in your relationship, it's best to tell your partner that the issue is not a lack of attraction, it's a conditioned response to the porn you’ve been looking at. “Then you can tell your partner that you're quitting porn, and you expect your real-world sexual functioning to gradually return as your brain’s pleasure center normalizes,” says Weiss.

“Whenever I work with in a erectile dysfunction couple I do address each person individually first to understand the cost of the dysfunction,” says Dr. Orlandini.

“If I see it's pornography-induced what I do is I tried to put them in a complete diet and not allow them to have any type of intimacy for a while and only allow them to see their partner as any sort of stimuli. I encouraged her partner to understand were undergoing some type of recalibration without much collaboration with the hopes that they will offer their partner the space and time to change the way their brains see sex and what is the source of stimuli and desire for them,” says Dr. Orlandini.

It is, however, common for partners to know that there is some variety of masturbation going on and pornography is involved. “In those cases it allows for clarification as what has happened to their partners brain and what can be done to improve and strengthen their intimacy. Rarely do I encourage pornography to be used as part of healing the sexual intimacy as we are risking a regression into pornography addiction.,” says Dr. Orlandini.

“A number of men I've spoken with described how women broke up with them after finding them masturbating to porn or magazines,” says Sullivan. Others described how their wives entered couple’s therapy to address their ‘porn addiction’ or ‘sex addiction.’

“A therapist friend mentioned that about 80% of all of the heterosexual couples that see her do so for the first time because the female partner thinks the man has a sex problem. If more women better understand the broad spectrum of motivations to masturbate and the benefits of masturbation, men would be able to more easily shed the shame and fear and, ironically, become the attentive, creative lovers their partners seek. If we can recast masturbation not only as fantasy fulfillment but also as an important part of understanding ourselves and becoming a more expansive lover, maybe women wouldn’t be put off by a man who masturbates three times a day?” says Sullivan.

If someone senses that their partner has issues with masturbation, it's important to understand what their concerns are and how you can mitigate them. That is where some couples run into trouble. They start to associate blame and shame before moving past it.

“The reason extends far beyond the importance of the personal pleasure associated with masturbation: this issue — the fear, stigma and shame associated with male sexual fantasies and solo sex — is directly linked to increased risk of health-related problems, increased relationship stress, increased personal stress, problems with sexual performance and extends its reach into rigid social mores around sex and gender,” says Sullivan.

It's not only a barrier to your own personal sexual growth, but it also limits the reach of your potential as a person, the potential of your relationship and your potential to positively affect those around you.

“It cuts to the core of who we are as people and how we feel about our most basic needs. And this is not new-age musing: There is strong evidence that shows masturbation dramatically reduces the risk of prostate cancer, prevents erectile dysfunction and incontinence as you age by strengthening pelvic muscles, reduces stress, boosts the immune system, elevates mood, helps manage premature ejaculation, improves sleep and improves ability to orgasm. That alone justifies the effort to reposition masturbation and sexual fantasy in the eyes of your partner. But the real reason to address the issue is tied to something more nebulous but far more meaningful: Embracing the totality of your sexuality is a critical part of understanding and accepting who you are,” says Sullivan.

And that's the bedrock of confidence: clarity and empathy.

3. How Long Does It Take To Recover From Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction?

Of course, this is going to vary from person to person, and as with anything, you’ll probably see good days and bad days. You may experience feelings of withdrawal and cravings: If you have an addiction, and you're abstaining, you''ll still crave that drug for a while. But you should see a gradual return to better erections, sexual desire (for your partner, not for the porn), and you’ll get pleasure from real sex again.

RELATED: Five Ways Quitting Masturbation Helped Me Succeed

“At first I like to encourage my clients to take a one-month vacation from all intimacy both masturbation and with any partner,” says Dr. Orlandini. “This allows for a diet to occur and for the brain to develop healthier desire and a healthy appetite for stimuli that's real. Then the healing begins and a time varies from person to person how long the healing will take,” says Dr. Orlandini.

It really does revolve around compliance and the ability of both partners to prioritize fixing the problem at hand.

Of course, as with any recovery, you need to follow the steps. Are you being consistent in avoiding porn, or having some slips? Do you currently have a sexual partner? It's easier to rewire to enjoy real sex if you're having real sex! Also, the type of porn you're watching may matter. If you found yourself going for increasingly shocking and intense stuff, real life may take a while to live up to it.

But rebooting can have really exciting results, as one user on Reddit shares:

I've suspected PMO to be the cause of my ED for some time now. I've only had a hand full of sexual encounters within the last couple of years, because each time I tried, I was barely able to summon a semi. It was embarrassing and very frustrating. I decided to take up the challenge, hoping that perhaps it would solve my problem. I've been doing NoFap for 2-3 months, with 2-3 relapses. But even though I relapsed during this time, I made sure that at least the relapses did NOT involve porn. So last night, I decided to try and have a sexual experience with someone I met on OkCupid. I wasn't overly interested in this person; it was essentially just a test. We met, I didn't find the person very physically attractive, and we didn't seem to have much chemistry. And taking all of that into consideration, when this person started touching me and made their way down to my junk... BAM! Almost immediately, FULL MAST. I am so, so happy about this! I was able to summon and maintain an erection with someone I was only mildly interested in, simply from their touch. I don't want to say I'm completely cured until I try this with someone I'm VERY interested in. But I'm extremely encouraged! I think I'm finished with porn for good. This test proved to be a great success. If you think you may have porn-induced ED, you probably do! Give it up. It isn't real - and there is no comparison to true human interaction.

If you take longer than expected to reboot, you may want to see your doctor and make sure there’s not something other than porn going on.

4. Can You Go Back To Porn After Erectile Dysfunction?

If you experienced PIED (or any other porn-related issues), and then you quit using porn and returned to normal functioning, that’s great. And you should probably stay away from porn in the future. Why mess with success, right? “Sure, you might be able to use porn in moderation and without consequences in the future, but there’s an equal or better chance that you’ll start to use it heavily again, leading a reemergence of PIED (and possibly other problems),” says Weiss.


Guyology founder Melisa Holmes MD talks about how boys develop porn-induced erectile dysfunction and need Viagra (2017)

Guyology founder Dr. Melisa Holmes talks about how boys who become addicted to porn end up being college students who have erectile dysfunction and need Viagra. She spoke at a sex and teens forum on May 17, 2017, at the Warehouse Theater, Greenville. S.C.

Also by Dr. Holmes: The digital revolution could be the reason teen pregnancy rates have fallen....

Follow-up article about the forum

Warehouse forum explores porn addiction, teens, and social media

 “There are so many boys with porn addictions that we see boys in student health on college campuses requesting Viagra and Cialis weekly because they have erectile dysfunction.”

Dr. Melisa Holmes is an author and the founder of Girlology and Guyology.

So said Dr. Melisa Holmes at special panel discussion Wednesday at the Warehouse Theatre.

Holmes is founder of Girlology & Guyology, a national sexual education platform for children and parents that relies on medical facts.

On the topic of ED drugs and college-age men, Holmes says the problem with youth and porn is that boys who use it are conditioning their sexual response cycle. Eventually, porn is the only thing they can respond to – hence the need for erectile dysfunction drugs.

Boys are not alone in facing their own sexual woes. For girls, the problem is the ubiquitousness of sexual messages.

“Every website they go to shows something sexualized,” Holmes says. “Billboards – get your Brazilian here. Everything is sexualized, yet we’re so timid in our society to talk about sex openly that we don’t develop the ability to have healthy conversations about sexuality.”

Esther Hall is a parent of a teenage girl.

Holmes was one of four teenage sexuality speakers at the Warehouse’s “Sex Ed: The Education and Oversexualization of our Country” discussion. The forum was the last in the current season’s series about controversial topics.

The Sex Ed forum was related to the theater’s current production, “Spring Awakening,” a tragic musical about youth and sex. The play runs from May 19 to June 20.

For Esther Hall, the parent of a teenage girl, the most frightening thing is that cell phones make it easy to find pornography or send photos and messages that could result in huge legal and social problems.

With smart phones, the message to kids is, “You can run, but you can’t hide,” says Esther Hall, a Michelin North America events coordinator. “You have sex in your pocket at all times.”

If teenagers’ phones have a texting image of a peer’s naked body, then the underage youths could be arrested for child pornography, Hall says.

Mike Quint is a sexual risk avoidance specialist and abstinence educator.

These types of explosive issues didn’t exist when parents of today’s teens were growing up, and society is leaving it up to parents to handle, Holmes says.

“Our culture presents an oversexualization to young people without giving them the tools and the skills to address it,” Holmes says.

Girls are maturing at younger ages than in previous decades, says Mike Quint, an abstinence advocate and certified sexual risk avoidance specialist at Live Free Inc.

“When we walk downtown we see [middle school] girls out on Friday night, and they look like college students,” Quint says. “My wife and I were talking about how when we were in middle school, that was your awkward phase. Yet, all of these girls are skipping their awkward phase.”

His comments drew laughter from the audience of about 50 parents and teens.

Social media mistakes, those of a sexual nature or otherwise, could also end up hurting a teen’s chances for internships, work-study programs, and jobs, says Meghan Meier.

Meghan Meier of Pure Romance

Meier is a senior director of Pure Romance, which offers relationship products, including lingerie and adult toys. She is also involved with Pulse Young Professionals.

“When I was a fresh college grad, I ended up working at a college, and one of the things I was hired to do was to stalk my students,” she says.

Any students who were considered for internships or work-study positions were checked out through their social media accounts.

“So, I’ve always been very aware — am I holding a red solo cup [in a posted photo], and what does that look like?” Meier says.


Hardcore corruption of the human hard disk

COMMENTS: this article is all over the place, but it's here because it quotes one of the top sexologists in India as saying that Porn can cause ED and other sexual disorders.

Link - Hardcore corruption of the human hard disk

Watching porn in not illegal in India, so a sizable section of the society satiate their libido because of easy access. With recent reports linking proliferation of porn with the spiralling rape cases in the country and the Supreme Court asking the govt to formulate its response on the issue, Daniel Thimmayya takes a wide angle view of the subject

Two labourers raped a five-year-old and left her for dead; a husband’s erectile dysfunction resulted in divorce proceedings. Two starkly different events that have little in common, barring one little element - porn. While the rapists had been aroused by watching porn and allegedly went hunting for prostitutes, prior to their rather gruesome act, the soon-to-be-divorced husband’s therapist told the court that his ability to ‘perform’ had been hankered by his habit of watching porn on the internet. Whichever way you look at it, porn or pornography - defined by the dictionaries as the ‘explicit portrayal of sexual subject matter for the purpose of sexual gratification’ - is certainly in the spotlight now. And even the liberalists cannot argue about the fact that it’s for all the wrong reasons.

To address the more dangerous question first, does watching porn make a person seek out sexual intercourse? That answer is a resounding YES - studies have revealed that a person who has been stimulated by watching porn is 400 per cent more likely to seek out sex than someone who hasn’t. “Watching pornography affects the frontal lobe, altering the personality of the individual. It will persuade him to watch more and more porn and lead to satyriasis where a man is dissatisfied even with sexual intercourse and wants to either have more sex or watch more porn. The same mania in women is called nymphomania,” explains Dr Narayana Reddy, one of the top sexologists in South India, who runs the DEGA Institute in T Nagar. He goes on to add that the physical manifestations of watching porn for long periods of time can be dangerous as erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation and other sexual disorders have been linked to compulsive masturbation while watching porn. “It’s like being withdrawn – a completely different phase of their life if they become addicted to porn,” he adds.

But hold on: not everyone who watches porn can be branded as an addict or sex-offender-in-the-making. Though Indian clinics are yet to use it, porn magazines and videos are commonly used in labs and semen collection centres in the West as it makes the extraction process smoother. Sexual medicine analysts frequently use pornographic aids in their line of work and have established that some amount of sexual stimulation is good, as long as it is with a consensual partner or preferably (at least in India), a spouse.

“Watching porn is not a mistake nor is it a crime,” states Dr Rajani Nandakumar, psychological counsellor at Bharatmatrimony. Having worked with several couples and marital mangles in his practice, he adds, “It’s when they spend more than an hour on it everyday or neglect other work just to watch porn that they can be called addicts.”

While porn addiction, by itself, can be treated psychologically with a few interventions, the fact that not speaking about sex because it is a taboo is a huge deterrent, says Dr V Vinayak, a psychiatrist who worked with VHS for almost five years.

“It becomes dangerous when it is combined with other problems - like drinking, drugs and sexual depravity. This could end up being dangerous,” he says. Psychotherapy can help addicts as long as they catch it early, but the family needs to be honest enough to admit that their child has a ‘serious’ issue and not just sweep it under the carpet. “Maybe then, such cases of child abuse and rape will reduce,” he says.

With the Supreme Court also mulling over how to stem the porn supply, legal experts say that the framework needs some work first. “You see, IPC Section 293 specifies that it is against the law to sell obscene objects to minors but till date, there is no law which states that watching pornography is illegal,” says Babitha Sunil, a lawyer. The only prosecution that can be done in any case relating to porn is when it is ‘transmitted’ or sold en masse. According to an amendment to the IT Act, 2008, any person who captures, publishes or transmits the image of a private area of a person is liable for three years in the slammer and a Rs 2 lakh fine. Transmitting porn on a mainstream basis will earn you a slightly larger jail time of three to five years.

Unfortunately, very few people are prosecuted because they aren’t caught in the act.

“As the mobile phone and tablet platforms are major stakeholders for such porn videos and content, it is not easy to find and prosecute the main producer or accused. So banning websites becomes that much more difficult,” says V Alamelu, a High Court advocate.

(With inputs from Harrita Narayan, Srimathi Sridharan, Pavithra Ravi and Anita Raghuraman)

Has Porn Ruined Our Sex Lives Forever? (The Daily Dose)

We may occasionally get off, but bringing in that third-wheel has changed the way we have sex. If we get to have it at all. - See more at:
We may occasionally get off, but bringing in that third-wheel has changed the way we have sex. If we get to have it at all. - See more at:
We may occasionally get off, but bringing in that third-wheel has changed the way we have sex. If we get to have it at all. - See more at:

may occasionally get off, but bringing in that third-wheel has changed
the way we have sex. If we get to have it at all. - See more at:

Don JonWe may occasionally, get off, but bringing in that third-wheel has changed the way we have sex. If we get to have it at all.

Finding porn used to take some effort. It involved bravery, stealth, and location scouting (try under Dad’s bed). The prize—huzzah! Hidden stack of Playboys!—was almost laughably tame by today’s standards.

Now anyone, anywhere, is a few clicks away from being like John Mayer who, in his famous Playboy interview, bragged-slash-confessed, “There have probably been days when I saw 300 vaginas before I got out of bed.” But the observation he revealed was even more provocative. “Internet pornography has absolutely changed my generation’s expectations,” said Mr. Body-Is-a-Wonderland Man. “How does that not affect the psychology of having a relationship with somebody? It’s got to.”  

What does it to do our psyches, our libidos, and our relationships when in .0001 seconds we can find whatever sexual stimulation our dirty little minds demand? 

As it turns out, a lot. Porn is mucking with our sex lives, relationships, and even the way we look. Let’s count the ways:

1. Porn leads to disconnected sex.

“Nothing else does it for me, not even real pussy” says Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s porn-addled character in Don Jon. There are lots of people like him out there having sex with—or at least near—unsatisfied partners. 

“Having sex with men who are avid porn users feels like I’m being masturbated into. It feels void of intimacy,” says 19-year-old Alaska*. “My partner would watch porn and masturbate while I was laying in bed with him. My role was just to be there. Sometimes he would watch porn for a little while and then want to have sex with me, but most of the time he would prefer to finish himself,” says Elizabeth, 19. Brian Moylan, editor-in-chief of Nerve and former VICE columnist, generally likes watching porn with his boyfriend, but has felt the disconnect, too. “There are times when we’re fucking and watching porn and I feel like I’m just an extra added sex toy in his masturbation fantasy (and sometimes vice versa).”

Behavioral therapist Andrea Kuszewski explains that “if someone relies too much on a certain type of stimulus in order to get excited, it might make it difficult to get aroused in the absence of that particular stimulus.”  She says, “This is the main problem with watching too much porn--the person begins to thrive on the novelty and deviance from the norm to excite them, and all other stimulation, including intimacy, begins to appear dull in comparison.”

For people who know—or sense—what they’re missing, the lack of emotional connection is a real loss. “I think we’re missing out on intimacy and the chance to have a real personal connection. Porn sex teaches young people to have sex without feelings,” says Alaska.

2. Hook-ups reign supreme.

Hook-ups are nothing new. And they can often be fun. Except now they seem like they’re the main option. “The guys won’t date. They want hook-up sex, and go from girl to girl,” observes Dr. Gail Dines, author of Pornland: How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexuality, and founding member of Stop Porn Culture. Dines says that young women often suffer what they describe as “an emotional hangover” after having hook-up after hook-up and blame themselves, thinking they are doing something to attract the wrong guys.

“Dating young guys sucks,” says Madison, 26, who prefers to get involved with older men. “A readily hard cock is a fantastic thing, but with the advent of Viagra, I’d much prefer to be wooed, looked after, and adored (then well-fucked at preordained hours) than to be texted with requests to ‘hang out’ after not having heard from someone for a week.”

3. Porn often sets the sexual agenda.

“When I was 21, I’d never imagine someone asking me, ‘Hey, can I come in your face?’,” says Anastasia, 32. “That wouldn’t have even been a question. But it is now.”

If you’re into trying new things, porn can be a handy source of inspiration, but younger women can be freaked out by men who quickly ask for threesomes or daily blow jobs. “These girls are the casualties of porn culture,” Dines told DAME. “The guys want anal sex. They want the rough sex. They like to slap, they like to pull hair, they call names. What the girls don’t understand is that this porn culture is being played out directly on their bodies.”

As porn becomes the visual equivalent of background music in dorms and bedrooms, viewers can get desensitized. Plain old regular sex—which, incidentally would have sent kids a couple of decades ago into sexual paroxysms—becomes dull, and the sexual ante must be upped. This leads to hard-core strains of porn, with increased displays of violence and extreme acts.

“It’s really about how far you can push it,” says Dines. “They want to see just how far you can humiliate a girl and push her body until it breaks.”

Oddly, the rise of extreme porn might actually be indicative of a craving for emotional connection. “If you think about what makes sex interesting, it’s your emotional connection to the person you’re having sex with. If you take that away, as you do in porn, you’ve got to fill it with some emotion. So the emotion you fill it with is anger, rage, hatred,” says Dines. “Pornography, bizarrely, is ultimately boring and tedious so you have to keep bringing in something new and interesting.”

4. Increased scrutiny of body parts we thought were perfectly fine a decade ago.

Women have always felt insecure about their bodies. But younger women + porn watching = welcome to body dysmorphia (population: everyone). “My vagina never quite looked like the vaginas in porn. My stomach was never flat as theirs, and my breasts weren’t as big. When I was younger, it made me feel really insecure with my body, like there was something wrong with me,” says Alaska.

Anastacia has now become comfortable with her body and her own porn-watching habits, but was initially threatened by her boyfriend’s habits when she was younger. “I thought ‘These people don’t look like me. Does this mean he’s into blondes with double-D breasts?’ I’m a brunette so I was pretty insecure about it.” 

Now there are ointments to bleach our vaginas and buttholes or—what the hell?—pink em up. Pubic hair is non-existent for women under 30. (Though now, pubes appears to be making a comeback.) And there’s been a sharp uptick in labiaplasty, elective surgery to cut off perfectly healthy sexual bits. Yes, you read that right.

Because, creepily, the parts facing the harshest judgment—labia, boobs, pubic hair—are the very parts that define our feminine sexuality (see also: Naomi Wolf’s The Beauty Myth). This creates an effed-up situation in which something that is an unmistakable sign of feminine arousal—say, a dark, engorged labia—might be altered to be shaped into a tinier, lighter one. How might this be screwing with the biological sexual signals we send to one another?

5. Men who don’t know how to properly shtup a woman.

“The positions men try to do with you because they see them in porn. Ugh. They hurt,” says Alaska. “And they clearly weren’t designed with the female orgasm in mind.”

But maybe it’s not necessarily the guys’ fault. Porn has become our primary form of sex education.

“The average 12-year-old boy is not putting ‘porn’ into Google because he wants to see ‘gag me and fuck me,’” says Dines. “He thinks might see breasts or naked women, then he gets catapulted into this world of violence. Remember they have not had sex before. When you’re 12, it’s the only thing you’ve got to measure against.”

Because porn isn’t exactly concerned with portraying the nuances of female desire and how to truly pleasure women and bring them to their peak. If viewers are looking to it to learn technique, they’ve definitely come to the wrong place. “Women are designed to receive pleasure, and experience triggers to orgasm from skillful caressing and rhythmic pressure of all kinds over many, many parts of their bodies,” wrote Naomi Wolf in Vagina. “The pornographic model of intercourse—even our culture’s conventional model of intercourse, which is quick, goal-oriented, linear, and focused on stimulation of perhaps one or two areas of a woman’s body—is just not going to do it for many women, at least not in a very profound way, because it involves such a superficial part of the potential of a woman’s neurological sexual response systems.”

Robert Kandell, who works with men teaching sexual mindfulness at One Taste, explained, “Guys are enthusiastic and they want the connection and intimacy but they’re getting bad information. The cum shot is the ultimate moment in porn and sex is just not like that. The climax of a symphony is the cymbals crashing at the end, but that’s not the main draw. We educate guys to enjoy the whole ride.”

6. Men suffering from sexual anxieties.

“The fallout from porn shows up in my practice in the form of several different issues,” says sex therapist Don Shewey. “Guys who try to duplicate the extremely formulaic contortions of porn and find that it’s not that enjoyable, and they think it’s their problem; guys who think it’s their job to perform like a porn star (get hard on cue, fuck like a jackhammer, and spurt without fail every time), or think that their partners expect them to do so, and therefore develop mild to crippling anxiety that makes it impossible to function sexually; guys who are so accustomed to masturbating looking at porn that they find it difficult to impossible to climax in someone else’s presence and guys who don’t have much real-life experience with sex who are afraid even to date because they assume that any partner will expect them to be ready to engage in every conceivable sex act.”

No one’s arguing here that porn should go away. Most of the experts I spoke with said that porn has a place in healthy, good relationships. It can be helpful for a disease-free sexual experience, lending companionship to the lonely, opening people’s minds to variety, allowing couples to talk openly about what gets them hot, or just providing a convenient route to orgasm. “My life is so busy right now, I just want to find something that gets me excited and just get it done. A couple minutes and I’m good,” says 27-year-old Stevie.

Porn can be superhot, all kinds of fun, and a lot of us use it and like it. And yet ... for some of us, it has become a third-wheel in our relationships, making many of us disconnected, desensitized, formulaic lovers. Are we willing to risk becoming lonely masturbaters, fueled by dopamine, endless variety, and ever-increasing stimulation, unable to handle the subtler, more sublime pleasures of real-world sex?

Moylan who detailed his efforts to (temporarily) get off porn in How to Quit Porn and Not Entirely Ruin Your Life sums up the conundrum: “Porn is great if you know it has its place and use it in moderation. I think it can lead to desensitization and habituated behaviors, but nothing gives me a boner faster.”

Original article:

Written by

Here's how porn is affecting Irish relationships. Sex therapist Teresa Bergin (2017)

By Anna O'Rourke (link to article)

Whether you admit it or not, porn plays a role in Irish lives.

We have never had as much access to a wide variety of porn as we currently do, thanks to the internet, but what does that mean for us?

We recently did some digging to find out about our readers' porn habits and learned that over half of ye (55 per cent) admit to watching porn, either alone or with a partner. This wasn't too surprising, though what did surprise us was another set of research we came across this week.

A US study showed a strong link between men who watched porn frequently and those who reported a lack of sexual desire, as well as erectile dysfunction - but also showed that women's sex drives weren't negatively.

If this is anything to go by, we ladies can watch porn 'til the cows come home without any consequences while men risk their sex drive if they indulge in too much of it.

Sex therapist Teresa Bergin told Her that this is indeed the case for Irish men.

"Some men have real difficulty managing their day to day lives because of the amount of time they're spending on pornography," she said.

"For other men, it's not an addictive problem but nevertheless impacts on their ability to become sexually aroused and connect with their partners."

"When men masturbate to pornography too regularly, their arousal circuit becomes connected to that stimulus. Interpersonal arousal can never match the intensity of pornography and so, over time, it ceases to be enough. When this 'mis-wiring' occurs, the man can experience a reduction in his sexual desire with his partner or they develop P.I.E.D., porn induced erectile dysfunction."

She pointed out while erectile dysfunction is traditionally associated with middle aged or older men, she's now seeing it in men in their twenties and thirties.

"This is now a very common issue among younger men who have grown up with pornography readily available on a phone or tablet," she said.

"In essence, their sexual arousal has become hard-wired to the device they use."

But if you think that women are off the hook when it comes to porn, you'd be wrong.

According to Teresa, both men and women suffer from performance anxiety because of porn.

"Women will often say that they are worried that their partner is comparing them to the porn stars being viewed, or will have expectations of similar activity," she said.

"When this is not discussed, it has the potential to be quite a problem between partners."

But being honest may not be so easy for Irish couples.

"We still struggle in this country to talk about sexual problems," said Teresa.

"Also, because porn is now so widely used and normalised, people may not be aware of it as a possible factor within a sexual difficulty - 'it's only porn, sure everyone watches it'."

She had this advice for anyone who is concerned about their partner's porn habits or the effect of porn on their relationship.

"Talk with him. Open up a conversation about your concerns and try to talk together about what pornography means to you both and how it might be affecting your sexual relationship. Try not to accuse, blame or criticise.

"If your partner is experiencing erectile difficulties, encourage him to see his G.P and if necessary, seek therapeutic help, and even better, go along with him."

You can find out more about Teresa's work at



Hormone expert Dr. Kathryn Retzler discusses porn-induced erectile dysfunction (2017)

Hormone expert Dr. Kathryn Retzler discusses porn-induced erectile dysfunction (PIED)

PIED is from 15:00-28:00


How Internet Porn Is Making Young Men Impotent. Sex therapist and associate of Impotence Australia, Alinda Small (2016)

A look at the science behind porn-induced erectile dysfunction.

03/06/2016 6:26 AM AEST | Updated June 21, 2016 12:39

Emily Blatchford Associate Lifestyle Editor, HuffPost Australia

Ever come across the acronym PIED? It stands for 'Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction', and it's a condition affecting young Australian men.

In fact, according to relationship counsellor, sex therapist and associate of Impotence Australia, Alinda Small, not only are cases of PIED on the increase, it's what she deals most with at her Sydney private practice.

"Porn-induced erectile dysfunction is actually the biggest presentation I'm seeing at the moment," Small told The Huffington Post Australia. "A lot of guys I'm seeing are addicted to porn and are having erectile dysfunction issues as a result."

So what is PIED?

First up, let's talk about erectile dysfunction. ED is a condition whereby a man is unable to get or keep an erection firm enough for sexual intercourse. There can be numerous reasons as to why a man might have ED (both physical and psychological), including health reasons.

One of the psychological causes, which is a fairly recent phenomenon, is thought to be an over-dependence on Internet pornography for stimulation. This is PIED.

"We have a situation whereby a whole generation of men have grown up looking at porn on the internet," Small explained. "It changes the way the basic systems of our brain -- the reward system -- actually operates."

"It gets to such a point where the expectation of pleasure is so high, normal sex with a real life partner doesn't provide that same hit.

How does it work?

"Basically, what happens is your dopamine levels get a kick when you have a 'novel' factor, and porn is the most novel factor of all," Small said.

"Once you get hooked, porn gets more and more extreme, and so people start upping the ante on it.

"It gets to such a point where the expectation of pleasure is so high, normal sex with a real life partner doesn't provide that same hit. It's not as novel, especially in a situation where, for instance, the guy is with a long-term girlfriend.

"In many cases they would actually prefer to be wanking alone because they get that hit."

If preferring the fantasy of on-screen sexual scenarios to actual, real-life sex sounds strange to you, Small says it's because the availability, accessibility, diversity and sheer amount of porn out there is just too much to compete with.

"Not one [real-life] story can beat 20 different stories on 10 different screens all at once," Small said.

"And we're talking anything from [sexual relations] with animals to pissing all over each other -- the viewer's brain just goes into overdrive.

"Instead of one picture you have five or six and you just get addicted to that particular hit.

"Sadly, with a real life partner, you don't get that same rush. It's actually very, very scary."

Why is it happening now?

Though pornography has obviously been around for ages, the internet has ushered in entirely new levels of demand, and it continues to rise. In fact, it has been suggested because so many people are accessing porn today, the porn industry is making more money than all professional sports combined.

"Porn addiction is an incredibly huge issue at the moment," Small said. "It's particularly scary for younger kids because [accessing porn online] is all they know.

"For instance, one client I am seeing is a 23-year-old virgin. He can keep it up until the point of penetration, but then loses his erection.

"It's because he doesn't know what he's in for. He has no idea what a vagina will actually feel like, and he is incredibly anxious about it. All he knows is what he has seen online.

"In fact, scientists are discussing now how we are losing that natural pair bonding humans have always had. There are changing ideas of what love is, what romance is.

"The truth is, sex is fumbly and messy for the first time. But they don't see that when they are looking at porn. It's perfectly choreographed and perfect and the woman going crazy with pleasure."

What science tells us

While PIED is yet to be fully understood and researched, an increasing number of experts are recognising porn-induced sexual issues and the problems they represent in modern day society.

As Small touched on previously, there is a developing scientific belief that porn addiction can lead to an interference with pair bonding, and as a consequence, "less attraction to one partner may be the outcome of over exposure, according to research."

Consuming too much internet pornography also appears to affect the brain's reward circulatory system and the way it works, an outcome which only becomes more pronounced given how easy it is to access inexhaustible novelties with only a single click.

In short, too much porn consumption can impact sexual function as well as emotional interaction, and, as Small wrote in a recent blog, "Given the fact that 35% of all internet downloads are pornographic we can be certain that porn is here to stay and we will find out more about the impact... in the future."

What to do?

According to Small, one of the biggest issues facing those who may have porn-induced ED is the fact they often refuse to talk about it.

"The problem is a lot of people don't talk about it, especially young guys," Small said. "It takes a lot of courage to go and present to your GP, which is what people tend to do. A GP might give out some numbers of sex therapists but often men don't have the courage to call for some time.

"It's part of human nature. Men see it as a reflection of their manhood, so it stands to reason that presenting something that's essentially them in all their masculinity, and to admit it's not functioning... well, people don't talk about it because it's embarrassing."

This can also present major challenges to those involved in a long term relationship.

"When you are with a partner, especially a hetero partner, it can be difficult," Small said. "Women take it personally. They think they aren't sexy enough or they are are not doing something.

"What they don't realise is it's never that -- it's the male thought processes."

"Don't live with it. It's not something you can overcome on your own.

Small recommends those who are concerned they might have some issues with erectile dysfunction should seek out professional help.

"Go to your GP or go and see a sex therapist, first and foremost," Small said. "We deal with sexuality on a daily basis. There's never any judgment, it's something we see all the time.

"It's important to have the courage to make that first phone call, because there are options out there.

"Don't live with it. It's not something you can overcome on your own. Sitting in your room reading a book won't help you overcome it by yourself."

How Porn Wrecks Relationships, Barbara Winter, Ph.D. (2016)

Pornography seems to be everywhere today — in advertising, on online sites, on phone apps, on screens ad nauseum. And that easy access is challenging the way many couples interact with each other, often with devastating consequences.

Porn has become so prevalent in American culture today that the Society of Human Resource Management estimates 70 percent of porn use occurs at work, between the hours of 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. By using their own phones for it, people don’t have to work through an employer’s internet. In one study, 52 percent of men ages 18 to 30 said they viewed porn at work, while 74 percent of men ages 31 to 49 claimed to view it at work.

That’s a lot of job risk. But another direct impact of all this porn viewing is attracting attention, as doctors and therapists treat an increasing number of men for Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction (PIED).

At one point, Tamara Thompson (not her real name), age 30 and from St. Louis, Missouri, didn’t think her online relationship with a handsome physician would ever turn into the real thing. A few weeks later, she wished it hadn’t.

Thompson still describes him as “the most perfect guy I’d ever met.” He was educated, cultured, funny, highly intelligent and extremely good-looking. That description, however, didn’t prepare her for their third date.

“After only a few minutes of kissing, he helped me undress, pushed me on the bed, then arranged my body until it was to his liking. He sat in a chair and began masturbating. At first, I didn’t know what was happening. I slowly realized, as his eyes moved into a constant scanning motion, that to him, I was a body on a computer screen.”

Research is emerging on both sides of the harm/no harm debate about porn, but physicians are also seeing physical evidence of a disassociated user. That’s the man or woman who has ceased to get experiences from life and real partners, and instead is attached to arousal through nameless and often faceless focal objects that can be constantly changed at will.

“I thought I was using pornography as a ‘space holder’ between relationships, but I can’t manage a relationship at all now.”

A study from the Max Planck Institute showed that the pleasure center (the striatum) of the brain is markedly diminished in heavy porn users.

In 1992, only 5 percent of men age 40 and younger reported difficulty getting an erection. The figure is now 33 percent — shown in both European and American studies. A person’s overall health, the presence of obesity, and drug use are the biggest factors that contribute to erectile dysfunction, but otherwise healthy men are pointing at porn as the reason for their ED.

For John Vargos (not his real name), age 28, of Atlanta, Georgia, erectile issues showed up when he got married to the woman he called his “soul mate.”

“I had been using porn daily for many years,” he said. “Jane and I met on a vacation cruise. Over the next year, we saw each other when we could, and I continued to use porn when we were apart. I assumed it would end when we finally lived in the same city and moved in together.”

John relocated — but within a few weeks, he experienced difficulty in getting an erection or having sexual feelings for his wife.

“I was having an affair just to boost my confidence after some disastrous experiences with Jane. I’d never had an affair and I felt out of control. Once we were married, I was bored so fast.”

He also sought out group activity to boost his sexual esteem, and he spent more time online looking for sex partners.

"I thought I was using pornography as a 'space holder' between relationships, but I can't manage a relationship at all right now," he said.

His wife had two children, so the impact of the ill-fated marriage on them haunts him.

Barbara Winter, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist and certified sex addiction therapist in Boca Raton, Florida, treats young men struggling with PIED, as well as women impacted by it, and couples.

"Many addicts become obsessed with ordering their images, changing them, and the variety they can create," she said. "While men, in particular, are susceptible to porn addiction, women are showing similar reactions."

Some view pornography as an efficient means to address a common need. Today's over-busy, overstressed lifestyles may leave little time for relationships to develop and unfold. Rocco Amazzi (not his real name), age 32, of Long Beach, New York, works two jobs to keep up with child support and the needs of aging parents.

"I turn on the computer [and] I never have to deal with a woman's feelings. I admit I don't know how anymore. It's life today."

"I think about the time it takes to get to know someone ... I skip it all, because I can turn on the computer and be done in 10 minutes with a lot less hassle. I never have to deal with a woman's feelings. I admit I don't know how anymore. It's life today. It's everywhere. Nobody thinks it should be different."

Kathy and Matt Karsten (not their real names) of Kansas City, Missouri, say PIED is just one of many battles they have faced as a couple. During his deployment to Afghanistan, Matt began relying on pornography. He described it as "so readily available that it was hard to avoid it."

Kathy Karsten began to doubt herself sexually after realizing her husband used hundreds of pictures of women, including of friends, for arousal, but that he had lost interest in their own sexual relationship.

"It was so painful to be constantly pushed away and rejected," she told LifeZette. "I was angry. I cried daily. I distanced myself from other people, because I felt they wouldn't understand. I lost myself, but his self-respect and pride was gone and he lost himself, too."

The couple broke up and began separate journeys to rediscover themselves. "It almost ruined our relationship, because it didn't allow us to connect as a couple physically and emotionally," she explained.

"It created a lot of self-doubt and a negative view of myself," Matt Karsten said. "I couldn't achieve orgasm without porn. I didn't know what intimacy actually was."

Today, the couple explained they feel closer than ever. They've begun several blogs to help other couples and want to ease communication between couples about the issue.

Sandy Iyler of Washington, D.C., was not so lucky in her relationship. Her first marriage ended because her ex-husband's porn addiction grew into PIED and a complete obsession. Through her own research and work with a therapist, she came to understand the complexities of addiction, including the chemical releases her husband was experiencing, though he was not able to change behaviors to rebuild the trust between them.

Today Iyler's second marriage is quite different.

"We are both happy to try new things. But I would say the stark difference in emotional intimacy is the biggest difference. I have an intimate life that has honesty and candor now."

Pat Barone is a professional credentialed coach and author of the Own Every Bite! bodycentric re-education program for mindful and intuitive eating, who helps clients heal food addictions.

Original article

How Porn is Hijacking the Sex Lives of Our Young Men. by Dr. Barbara Winter (2016)

LINK TO ARTICLE  April 27, 2016 by Dr. Barbara Winter

Sex therapist, Dr. Barbara Winter says teenagers addicted to porn may develop intimacy issues and trouble connecting with their partner.

Two days ago my soon to be 18-year-old-son came to me and inquired …  “mom, why are you soo focused on porn,?” as he has heard me so often speak of the good, the bad and the ugly as well as our culture’s preoccupation with digital sex, my obsession with oculus rift notwithstanding. Most of this has been recent. The next day during his capstone class, he was surprised (or not so) to receive from me a pic of the days snail mail cover of Time entitled “PORN, … and the threat to virility.”

Does he wonder if I partake? Perhaps. Well, I do on an almost regular basis lately—in my office.

As addictions go, this one can be fast and furious. Porn is rampant—it is anonymous, affordable (free in most instances) and, most pertinent, accessible.

For a while now, I have seen arrive in my office a cluster of men, young adult men, whose sexual functioning is limited. That is, their penises aren’t working at least not the way in which they want them to when they are with real people. And while young adult men may present for treatment with difficulty in the bedroom due to social anxiety, drugs, Asperger’s and other issues of intimacy, the numbers are increasing and porn is often the culprit.

The inability to get or maintain an erection with a real person is showing up in the office of sex therapists. PIED—Porn-induced erectile disorder—as it has recently been labeled, has become another behavioral addiction or process addiction. It is showing up in mine.

Technology is often blamed these days for rewiring our brain and interfering with our connections. Now it seems that our obsession with digital media is affecting our performance in the bedroom. And while this problem has been reported for a while now, the numbers appear to be growing.

By definition, an addiction involves two components—tolerance and withdrawal. Tolerance refers to the notion that we need increasing amounts of the substance to achieve the same effect. Withdrawal means that with the removal of the substance we have some sort of debilitating symptomology until we get back to baseline. Both involve physiological dependence. Habituation—novelty, surprise, and anxiety, elevates the brain’s dopamine—and our basic pleasure and reward pathways can be accessed anywhere, anyway at any time. The process has been equated to the use of drugs such as cocaine. Porn is a fantasy drug and the movement from one screen to another is the dangerous part because it heightens the ability for intense stimulation and for the difficult to reverse conditioning. It’s not what happens in real bedrooms with real people.

Before these boys have a real chance at intimacy they are online and some of them have become hardwired to function inadequately.

As addictions go, this one can be fast and furious. Porn is rampant—it is anonymous, affordable (free in most instances) and, most pertinent, accessible. Belinda Luscombe, author of the Time’s article, noted two statistics on first exposure to porn; she said that two separate studies found the average age to be 12 and 13.

We have seen growing numbers within the population as well as those who have begun anti-porn movements. Gary Wilson’s, anatomy and physiology teacher, ( Ted-X Talk in 2012 entitled The Great Porn Experiment today has over six million views. His thesis—porn effects the neuropathways, creates isolation and, as the Time piece highlights, compromises the “virility of young men.” Gabe Deem, 28, is the founder of Reboot Nation. Having become addicted to internet porn at a young age he teaches men how to reboot their brains. He is clearly aware of the need for speed and cites having felt like a zombie when he went cold turkey, something which is critical in order to reverse the behavior and all of the physiological sequale, (a condition that is the consequence of a previous disease that accompanies it.) While the process may be evident (we have no research as of yet) young men will need help in walking through it as well as the associated shame and inadequacy.

Porn addiction is not sex addiction for these boys and while certain groups mentioned earlier may be at greater risk the recovery may be easier for some. There is suspicion and anecdotal evidence that recovery for older men is more rapid than for these men in part because they know what a sexual relationship with a real person looks and feels like. They can often get back to baseline faster because they have one.

Before these boys have a real chance at intimacy they are online and some of them have become hardwired to function inadequately. This scenario doesn’t give them the opportunity to know if they are even capable of having a close connected relationship which not so often happens at the first sexual encounter anyway. Failure, rejection, and awkwardness as well as much more abounds in these first experiences where the experience is a negative one. They need to learn how to have sex without fantasy and to be more in tune with their partner. They need to learn how to have a healthy relationship with their bodies and sex, not so, pornography. Sex will often involve some fantasy; porn is a fantasy drug and despite the current move into mindfulness they are clearly still somewhere else.

In the April 23 Vanity Fair tribute, Prince is quoted as saying “”I think there was some sort of plan to initiate me heavy and quick. I was given Playboy magazine, and there was erotic literature laying around. It was very easily picked up. It was pretty heavy at the time. I think it really affected my sexuality a great deal.”

Who knows exactly what my son was doing at that moment when I sent him that cover in the middle of a school day. We know that millennials are wired 24/7; log-on equates to turned on. While the girls might have been on Instagram, he was likely checking his fantasy status (football that is) or sending a Snapchat. I’m hoping at least that neither he, nor any of his classmates, were watching porn.

- See more at:


How To Solve Common Sexual Issues, Because They May Be Mental, Physical, Or Both (2016). Eyal Matsliah author of "Orgasm Unleashed"

Link to article

Relevant excerpt:

If you’re active and your t-level checks out though, it may be a mentalissue surrounding performance anxiety or even by watching too much porn. To help overcome this issue, sex expert, Eyal Matsliah tells Bustle that they should try masturbating without porn and without ejaculation, teaching themselves how to arouse more naturally.

Lindsay Tigar

April 26 Lifestyle

No matter how hot it is, sex is messy business. And by messy, I don’t just mean the aftermath, the sweat or what happens when naked bodies get together — I mean the whole act of it. The tough fact to face is that even when both parties really (really!) want to have each other, there are many messy but common sex problems that happen along the way. From finishing too early or too late to mismatched sex drives, even happy couples will have to navigate the bedroom territory with sensitivity, patience and well, endurance.

If you’re experiencing any of the issues below, it may be tough to decipher if what you’re dealing with stems from a physical issue or a mental one. Most experts agree that before you start seeing a therapist, it’s important to rule out anything medical, first. “A sexual issue can be a number of things. It can be a functional issue, a lack of sex issue, a wanting sex issue, or infidelity,” psychologist Dr. Nikki Martinez, Psy.D., LPCC says. “Functional issues can be physical or emotional. If your physician has figured out that there is no medical reason, we are probably looking at issues of anxiety surrounding performance.”

So how do you know if the issue you’re experiencing is mental, physical, or maybe a mix of both? Sex experts give their best advice below and make sure to see a physician before doing anything extreme. But first, check out our video on how to last longer in bed:

1. Unable To Get Or Maintain An Erection

While you may think that erectile dysfunction aka trouble getting or staying hard is only for middle-aged or older men, there’s a growing prevalence in men under 40, so it's nothing to be embarrassed about. For most young guys, the issue can come from an unhealthy diet and exercise, or a low testosterone level. If you’re active and your t-level checks out though, it may be a mental issue surrounding performance anxiety or even by watching too much porn. To help overcome this issue, sex expert, Eyal Matsliah tells Bustle that they should try masturbating without porn and without ejaculation, teaching themselves how to arouse more naturally. Dr. Rachel Needle, a licensed psychologist and sex therapist tells Bustle that therapy can help most men with a mental block causing erectile dysfunction from stress, worry, or anxiety.

2. Finishing Too Quickly

While penis-in-vagina sex lasts around five minutes on average, if your partner is consistently finishing quickly, they may need to build up their sexual endurance. For this issue, your partner may be experiencing hypersensitivity and needs to be introduced to intense pleasure gradually, instead of all-at-once. “Try a technique called ‘sensate focus’ where you learn to deal with more and more stimulation over time, until you can finally have sex at greater lengths and strengths,” Martinez says. Condoms can also help prolong sex and having your partner spend more time masturbating to build their time.

3. Mismatched Sex Drives

So you want it in the evening, she wants it in the morning. You’d prefer a handful of times a week, while he’d like it every single day, a few times a day, if he could. The majority of couples will deal with mismatched sex drive at some point in their relationship, and it’s totally normal. For this issue, the key to success is communication. “The couple needs to be open about what each of their drives and needs are, and then they can talk about it and find a happy medium where both feel OK about the amount of sex that they are having,” Martinez says. “They also might agree to supplement the actual act of sex with other acts to take care of the partner’s needs.”

4. Inability To Get Wet

For some women, even when you’re really turned on, you might not seem like it down there. Levels of wetness are different for everyone, but if you’re typically pretty dry, experts recommend seeing a physician to rule out any medical issues that could cause this issue. If all is well, Martinez recommends using lube or spending more time on foreplay to get you more in the mood. Matsliah also says spending more time masturbating can help you figure out what zones turn you on the most, and thus, you can show your partner how to make you moan.

5. Not Being Able To Orgasm

If you feel like you’re trying everything and your partner is trying everything and you’re still not orgasming, it can wreak havoc on your relationship. “If she is not able to get to the point of climax in the time the partner is able to maintain, you actually want to do the same thing, be verbal, say what you like and need that can help you move this along,” Martinez says. It may also be helpful for women to seek a sex therapist who can help them relax in the bedroom, and for their partner to realize that you may need more time than they do.

Whether mental, physical, or both, remember that these issues are nothing to be embarrassed about — or impossible to overcome.


How internet porn is creating a generation of men desensitised to real life sex. Dr Andrew Smiler, Dr Angela Gregory (2016)

Porn-induced erectile dysfunction is becoming increasingly widespread

A masculinity expert says he fears heavy internet porn usage may have left up to one in 10 young men with erection problems. Dr Andrew Smiler said that easy access to endless streaming porn is leaving healthy young men with the sexual problem. He told The Independent: “The guys I see, most of them are between 13 and 25. The vast majority are, for the most part, the picture of physical health.

“So if I’m masturbating to porn once a day for 15 minutes but I do that every day for five years, I’m pretty well on my way to being an expert to having an orgasm to porn.”

He warned that because many heavy users are young, the habit becomes even more concerning.

“If I’m 17 and that is 90% of my sexual orgasmic experience, then I’ve put a lot of effort into that particular variety/flavour of sexual development but I’ve put in very little time developing my sexuality with another person, so it makes it more challenging to become aroused to another person and you find yourself in this other direction which is often very different to sex with a person.”

A 2014 study found that one third of men watch porn every day, and given that porn consumption has been increasing over the past few years - largely due to the advent of the smartphones and super-fast data connections - it’s likely that number is now even higher.

Dr Angela Gregory, psychosexual therapist at Nottingham University Hospital, said: “Men are becoming both physically and psychologically desensitised to normal sexual stimulation and arousal with a sexual partner.”

For some men, however, they develop hypersexuality and are constantly aroused. “It’s like an itch they can’t scratch and is always on their minds,” Dr Gregory said.

Students watch porn together at Bristol Uni

Despite the prevalence of porn-consumption, as of yet there is no official diagnosis for “porn addiction” so Dr Smiler, author of Dating and Sex: A Guide for the 21st Century Teen Boy, doesn’t like to use the term. Gregory, on the other hand, believes some men do develop very real addictions to porn.

She frequently sees young men with erection problems but often they don’t make the link to porn as it’s deemed so normal to watch it.

Fortunately, porn-induced erectile dysfunction is fixable, most easily if you’re a healthy young male: “If you can stop [masturbating], you can reboot your system to normal arousal,” Gregory explains.

She recommends going cold turkey for 90 days - some men find it easy, others really struggle. And Dr Smiler points out that you have to retrain both your body and your mind, so he talks to a lot of his clients about what they find attractive. 

Whilst porn-induced erectile dysfunction is a huge problem for men who regularly masturbate to porn, simply watching it is also creating an unrealistic idea of sex in their minds.

“In porn, sex always happens very easily, everybody has a great time and nobody ever refuses or says ‘I don’t want to do that’,” Dr Smiler said.

“But in reality, people aren’t always in the mood. Sometimes you fall over when you're taking off your pants and it’s funny. But none of that happens on screen and so guys go in expecting it to all be easy and they don’t know what to do,” he explained.

There’s also the issue of the majority of people not looking like porn stars. Dr Smiler, who works predominantly with young men aged 13-25 and wrote a book on masculinity, believes high porn consumption “alters perceptions and expectations of who is attractive,” meaning a lot of these men find they develop extremely narrow tastes.

Gregory believes that as porn becomes more harcore, explicit and ubiquitous, more men will suffer from intimacy problems and sexual compulsion.

So is there a safe amount of porn a man can watch? It really depends on the person, but Dr Smiler believes that a man can masturbate to porn once to three times a week and “it’s not going to have any more effect on his sex life than 50 years ago when guys were masturating to posters of pin-up girls.”

But when you find yourself masturbating to porn every day - and that’s the only way you masturbate - that’s when you’re heading for problems.

by Rachel Hosie

How porn is destroying modern sex lives: Feminist writer Naomi Wolf has an unsettling explanation for why Britons are having less sex

  • Couples are having 20% less sex than they did just ten years ago
  • Wolf connects this to the rise of pornography
  • Porn poses health problems...
  • It desensitises those who watch it and has long-term consequences
  • As a result, it has a negative effect on sex and relationships

By Naomi Wolf

PUBLISHED: 19:44 EST, 11 December 2013

  • New survey: A major study has revealed that British couples are having about 20% less sex than they did just ten years ago

A lovely young mother of three boys asked sadly how her husband, in an otherwise happy, sexually fulfilled marriage, became 'lost to porn' to the point that she had to leave him. She now wonders how to  protect her sons.

A bright, male college student confessed that he is worried about what he calls 'the kink spiral' - the term he uses to describe feeling trapped by his need to see more and more extreme porn to get aroused.

Couples in their late teens tell me no one they know can have sex without porn playing on a screen. A guidance counsellor at a private school asks where he can find help for his students - many of whom are so addicted to online porn that the obsession is affecting their schoolwork and social development.

Recently, aA major British study, the National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles, which questioned more than 15,000 people aged  16 to 74, showed couples are having about  20 per cent less sex per monththan they did justjust ten years ago.

  • New discoveries: Wolf's new book Vagina: A New Biography discusses how neuroscience shows how pornography negatively affects both sex and relationships

As someone who has been researching in this field for over 20 years, I believe we must take seriously the rise of pornography. New research shows it is having a detrimental effect on men's and women's sexual responses  and harming relationships as a consequence.

My latest book, Vagina: A New Biography, about female sexual desire, has a chapter on new discoveries in neuroscience that show how pornography negatively affects both sex and relationships.  

Popular culture is reflecting this trend: the new film Don Jon centres on porn addiction. The hero is sleeping with Scarlett Johansson but sneaks off to watch porn, since he says nothing with a real woman (even Johansson!) is as good. Meanwhile, sex scenes in mainstream movies are getting more violent. In The Kids Are All Right, I was startled to see Julianne Moore's character start slapping her partner's face as he neared orgasm.

Young women tell me that hair-pulling, and even pressure around the neck at orgasm, are normal parts of courtship sex these days. These are 'porn cliches', as one young woman put it. I am not surprised by these shifts because  we all know about the pornification of society.

I believe more voices would be speaking out if the new research on this issue were better understood. What we're not being told - and this is a view which many scientists now confirm, but too few ordinary people understand - is that porn use poses health problems.

Mine is not a moral position. I think adults should be able see whatever they want in the privacy of their own homes (if the images are not based on a crime or any cruelty being committed).

Yet the neuroscience of porn addiction is clear: watching porn causes sharp spikes in the activation of dopamine, a neurotransmitter in the brain, which makes people feel focused, confident and good.

The trouble is that this  short-term neurological arousal has long-term consequences. Firstly, it can cause desensitisation to the same erotic simuli that turned you on recently and, over the longer term, it can cause a greater likelihood of sexual dysfunction.

The user then craves more and more extreme pornography - violence and taboo images activate the autonomic nervous system, which is involved with arousal -  in order to reach that same level  of excitement.

  • 'Young women tell me that hair-pulling, and even pressure around the neck at orgasm, are normal parts of courtship sex these days.'

This acclimatisation and desensitisationdesensitisation explains why images that were seen as fetishistic, taboo or violent ten years ago are now mainstream fare on porn sites.

A second effect, confirmed with men and anecdotal with women, is trouble reaching orgasm. Doctors are now reporting an epidemic of healthy young and middle-aged men, with no disease or psychological issue that would otherwise explain their difficulties, who are having sexual problems such as impotence or delayed ejaculation due to this desensitisation.

A final problem related to desensitisation is that men start to see their own partners as less attractive, and less able to arouse them by ordinary sexual behaviour.

And, of course, one woman can't provide the ever-changing novelty, that constantly renewed boost to the brain that porn artificially delivers by a mouse click of the mouse.

There are other ways porn use can negatively affect female arousal. If a woman feels uneasy about her partner's use of porn the stress of her resentment and anger can affect her own ability to become aroused.

If you understand the neuroscience of female arousal, wWomen need to have their autonomic nervous systems (heart rate, breathing, blood circulation) highly activated to get turned on. Emotions such as stress,anger, a sense of threat and  resentment can function like throwing a bucket of freezing water on the female system.

  • Detrimental: Porn does not teach men sexual skills that are useful in arousing women

I have also done a lot of research into the fact that sex portrayed in most porn does not teach men, especially young men, sexual skills that are useful in arousing women. As Dr Jim Pfaus, a pioneer in the field of the science of sexual behaviour from Canada's Concordia University, puts it, porn use can take an emotional toll on relationships because men who use it are 'neurologically bonding' not with their partners, but with the porn.

Relationship expert and couples' counsellor Michael Kallenbach says: 'Couples are far more aware of porn now than they've ever  been. With everyone owning iPhones and tablets and being constantly bombarded with sexy ads and imagery, porn is leaking into our lives and affecting  our relationships.

'When one partner watches surreptitiously, it's a very dangerous avenue to go down. Their imagination, and relationship, will be put at the mercy of fantasy. This often results in affairs.'

A recent University of Sydney study, in which two professors surveyed more than 800 men, found that excessive porn consumption was reported by almost half the respondents (85 per cent of whom were married or in a relationship), and was harming their professional success and relationships.

The numbers were dramatic: 47  per cent of the male subjects watched between 30 minutes to three hours of porn per day, one in three said it harmed their work efforts, and one in five would rather watch porn than have sex with their partners.  

I can understand why the porn industry is keen to keep the addictive nature of its products quiet and promote the libertarian notion that there are no consequences. It is a global industry that wishes to turn men, and increasingly women, into addicts for financial reasons.

The situation very much resembles the marketing of cigarettes without health warnings in the Sixties.

So why isn't government-mandated disclosure of the risks obligatory, as it is now with cigarettes?

The answer is our politicians don't yet fully understand the damage that is being done.

  • Less sexually liberated: Porn is taking over our thought processes and corroding our ability to sustain meaningful relationships

Recently, the Daily Mail won a victory whereby the Government agreed that all households should opt in if they want to be able to view porn on the internet.

I believe that with good health information, people can make more informed choices about how, when, and if they want to use porn, and even better choices about what kind of imagery they might seek out or avoid.

Those who wish to end their addiction - like ending any addiction - can do so with effort.

Men who have done so - that is for whom we have data - report a great sense of regaining psychological control, and heightened arousal with their wives or girlfriends. Mostly they are relieved not to be at the mercy of something that many of those who write to me feel they need - but don't especially like.     

Are we 'sexually liberated' if porn is taking over our thought processes and corroding our ability to sustain meaningful relationships? I think we are less sexually free.

A powerful industry is manipulating us - and ruthlessly exploiting some hard-wiring in the male brain - to turn us more and more into sexual and emotional robots, only capable of achieving sexual fulfilment in a room with a computer, alone.


How the proliferation of porn is ruining men's love lives. By Angela Gregory, Lead for Psychosexual Therapy, Chandos Clinic, Nottingham U. Secretary British Society of Sexual Medicine (2016)

Some people don't believe in porn addiction, but I've seen its effects first hand.

By Angela Gregory August 19, 2016 (link to original article)

There is an increase in men (and sometimes women) who recognise that their sexualised internet use is out of control, says NHS sexual and relationship psychotherapist Angela Gregory

For the past 16 years I have worked full-time as an NHS sexual and relationship psychotherapist, treating men and women with a range of sexual difficulties. Sexual problems can have a medical or psychological ethology or a mixture of both.

In our clinic we see adults from 18 years onwards.

Erectile dysfunction is commonly associated with cardio vascular disease, diabetes, prostate surgery, spinal cord injury and multiple sclerosis. However over the past five years there has been an increase in young men being referred to our NHS clinic with erectile dysfunction and delayed/inhibited ejaculation, and I soon realised that their masturbatory habit alongside their online porn use was a significant maintaining factor for their sexual difficulties.

It is also of concern that there is an increase in men (and sometimes women) who recognise that their sexualised internet use was "out of control", damaging their relationships and, in essence, taking over their lives.

The past 10 years has seen a digital revolution that has facilitated accelerated communication; Western culture is being shaped more and more by the internet, smart phones and social media. Via the internet sexual contact and pornography is accessible and anonymous; it has created a cultural context that is educating young people about what is "normal". Gone are the days when our exposure to something explicit was the underwear section of your grandmother's Littlewoods catalogue or a centre page spread of adult magazines like Playboy and Penthouse.

What happens when the adolescent brain meets high-speed hard-core pornography? Well we can only begin to guess at the long term consequences, but what we do know is that as human beings we can all experience feelings of inadequacy, that on some level we don't measure up when compared to others. But young people are particularly vulnerable and online they can view a kaleidoscope of sexualised images and Olympic-style performances to compare themselves with, just one click away.

Porn sex is based on performance, on the penetration of any orifice with a guaranteed orgasm every time. What it is not about is love, teasing, sensuality, eroticism or emotion. The message is very clear, hard, fast penetration equals great sex and any personal "failure" to measure up can be immediately posted on social networking sites.

Some will experience erection problems and ejaculation difficulties due to performance anxiety or from psychological and physical desensitisation due to high-frequency masturbation. According to the website the younger a boy is when he starts watching porn the longer it can take to reverse the conditioning effect of highly arousing stimulation. To put it bluntly, they will have to learn to find their girlfriend or boyfriend sexy or real life sex, arousing.

Read more: Try giving up porn - it changed my life

In the field of sexology/sexual medicine there is much debate about the existence and use of the term "sexual addiction". Many years ago there was a newspaper report about a Hollywood A-list actor who was seeking help for "sexual addiction", and I remember thinking that it sounded like an excuse for his infidelities. However, over the past few years I have witnessed first-hand the personal devastation that online sexual activity/porn can have on young people and on their ability to form and maintain regular intimate and loving sexual relationships. And make no mistake, older people are equally vulnerable to explicit imagery and online sex.

Below is an example of a 19-year-old man who feels his life totally revolves around viewing pornography and sex chat rooms:

  • He feels his problems started when at the age of 13 he was introduced to explicit images online by his school friend.
  • Using his smart phone he currently he masturbates five times per day, in his bedroom, at work and sometimes in public places.
  • He has had one sexual relationship but this ended when she found out he also had numerous casual sexual encounters with partners he met online.
  • He has also started to see escorts.
  • He rarely socialises with friends and feels isolated from "normal"' life.
  • He has smashed up two smart phones in his efforts to stop but this hasn't worked.
  • He feels his life isn't worth living and he doesn't know what to do.

Read more: When it comes to oral sex, being a woman sucks

Sadly for many people in this situation there is very little NHS help available so many will turn to online forums for help such as www.yourbrainonporncom and Private therapists can be accessed via College of Sexual & Relationship Therapists (COSRT) and organisations such as Relate. Also useful is Understanding and Treating Sex Addiction by Paula Hall.

For parents, blocking porn sites is an option but sadly online pornography is only the tip of the iceberg. Twitter, Snapchat, and chat rooms also expose young people to sexual images, explicit chat and videos. Equally worrying is that children and young people are willingly putting indecent images of themselves online.

In 2012 the Child Exploitation & Online Protection Centre (CEOP) found that the vast majority of sexually generated indecent images of children are uploaded onto the internet by the children and young people themselves without any external coercion.

Social networking sites and peer pressure are powerful and persuasive weapons and rarely will they be challenged by an embarrassed teacher responsible for their sex education. As adults, the first step in the fight to challenge the power of the internet and social media is to be aware of what's accessible online and to create an open and frank dialogue with each other.

Angela Gregory is the Lead for Psychosexual Therapy at the Chandos Clinic, a sexual dysfunction service for men and women based at Nottingham University Hospital Trust. She is currently the secretary of the British Society of Sexual Medicine.


How to educate our youth about pornography addiction and dangers. Psychosexual therapists Nuala Deering & Dr. June Clyne (2017)

Tuesday, January 17, 2017. Link to article

Men as young as 20 have erectile dysfunction, desensitised by their use of porn, which can easily become an addiction, says Gwen Loughman

THE dark side of the internet is pornography. “Pornography has become very much an epidemic in our society,” says Nuala Deering, relationship and psychosexual therapist with Relationships Ireland. “We are not addressing it as we should. It is unregulated and freely available to any age group who has internet access. We cannot stem the tide of pornography, but we can educate and help families prepare their children to deal with a world of unprecedented change.”

Cyber-sex addiction is predicted to be the next tsunami in mental health. Men in their late teens and early twenties have scant recollection, if any, of plastic-covered lad mags on the top shelves of newsagents. The erotic world is seconds away with the touch of a button.

These young men are presenting with what once was the older man’s affliction: erectile dysfunction. These are physically healthy young men, with no medical issues, but their use of pornography, which sometimes becomes an addiction, is having a debilitating effect on their sexual relationships.

Dr June Clyne, psychosexual and relationship therapist (, sees an increasing number of men in her practice reporting difficulties getting, and keeping, an erection, when intimate with their partners.

“Men in their 20s, 30s, 40s, and so on, present with problems in erectile functioning. For some, they do not have a problem getting an erection, but have difficulty with keeping one.”

Dr Clyne says many relationships have ended because of porn. “Internet pornography use is becoming increasingly socially acceptable, so, maybe, this is one of the reasons why people are slow to connect their pornography viewing with their sexual difficulties. After all, ‘isn’t everyone watching it’?” She says that online pornography offers short-term pleasure, but results in long term problems, including erectile dysfunction, which may necessitate the early use of Viagra.

Nuala Deering says men of 19 and 20 who are experiencing erectile problems are often aware their use of porn has desensitised them and many of them want Viagra. “They may, initially, get a prescription from their GP, but often obtain it online, which is not safe practice. Erectile dysfunction is very distressing at such a young age and Viagra can be seen as a quick-fix and give confidence in the short-term. However, long-term dependency on Viagra is not sustainable and it is advisable to seek professional help to deal with any underlying issues.”

Dr Clyne agrees. “We need to look at the reasons why people are viewing porn. Is it boredom, low confidence, easy availability/accessibility, suppressing emotions? Is it that we have become so used to connecting to screens, and so isolated, that we don’t know how, or where, to approach a ‘real’ person? And for those already in relationships, a disconnect? The good news is that research is showing dopamine levels in the brain can return to normal levels in as little as three months, after abstaining from viewing online porn. I would suggest that if anyone is having difficulty in quitting porn, that they look for professional support from someone knowledgeable in this area.”

Can pornography in moderation be educational for young people?

June Clyne doesn’t think so. “Really, this is not the education they need. There are other sex educational sites online that are not pornographic. I am not ‘anti’ porn, but the more I see of the damage it causes the more it leaves me questioning if there is any value in it, outside of financial income for a select number.”

Nuala Deering says: “With young people, their script around sexuality, pleasure, and what a relationship is about is developed at an early age. This is difficult to change. Without appropriate and adequate public information for safe sexuality, young people can blindly stumble into sexual dysfunctions, relationship problems, and sex addiction.”

How do we educate our youth about the dangers of pornography and its potential for addiction?

Deirdre Seery, CEO of The Sexual Health Centre, Peters Street, Cork, says their drop-in clinic offers sexual education to young people. They can ask questions and have them answered by professionals. She says talking to young teens isn’t rocket science. “They have a natural curiosity about sex and many 13- and 14-year-olds use the internet in complete innocence.”

This is why parents should talk to their teenagers about sex.

Teenagers are harder to influence than younger children. It’s impossible to chaperone their every movement, hence their access to pornography. An older teen should be able to hear, and know, about the dark underbelly of pornography. How can a parent impart this information in a productive way?

Who can the parents reach out to when all else fails and their teen continues to use, and be fascinated by, pornography?

Catherine Hallissey, education and child psychologist, says if teens really want to view pornography, they will find a way. She says it is a mammoth task and that, even with limits in place, parents cannot hold sway over what might be seen outside the home. She has outlined an action plan for parents and teens alike.

1. Sex and sexuality is not a one-time talk. Be open, and start a conversation early, with ‘a little and often’ time-frame, rather than a deluge of information in one session and at a later age.

2. It is wise to have limits. However, the primary focus should be on building your relationship with your child, so they have the emotional skills and resilience to cope with their developing sexuality as they get older.

3. Remember, sexual curiosity is normal and healthy and porn is one, albeit troublesome, way to satisfy that curiosity. Teens can often be overwhelmed by what they come across. When this happens, you want them to feel they can come to you.

4. Your conversations should not be focused on ‘porn is bad’. Explore what your teen thinks and feels about porn. Let them know the dangers in a non-judgemental way.

5. When talking about these issues, use a calm, neutral voice. No lectures, no blame, no shame. Do not engage in power struggles. Practice your talk in advance! Do your best to never be visibly shocked. This will increase the likelihood that your child will continue to talk to you.

How watching porn can cause erectile dysfunction (2017)

Updated 21 July 2017

An international study found that the percentage of men below 40 who suffer erectile dysfunction has skyrocketed in the last 15 years, from between 2% and 5% to 30%.

Many young men who should be in their sexual prime are suffering erectile dysfunction as a result of watching pornography from an early age.

Prolonged exposure to porn, via the ease of technology, creates a demand for more extreme and “novelty” material in order to maintain arousal, to the point where sexual experiences with partners are no longer arousing.

Real sex 'disappointing'

One international study in Behavioural Sciences, a medical journal, said the percentage of men below 40 who suffer erectile dysfunction has skyrocketed in the last 15 years, from between 2% and 5% to 30%.

The study was conducted by a team of US uroligists, neuroscientists and psychiatrists who analysed extensive neuroscientific research.

It said for those suffering with Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction (PIED), real sex registers as “disappointing” in comparison with porn, and there is great difficulty maintaining an erection.

Sheryl Rahme, addiction specialist at Changes Rehab Centre, said porn addiction mirrors addiction to drugs.

“With porn-induced erectile dysfunction… the urge to masturbate is not true libido – they are addicted to porn. They are addicted to seeking a fix and a temporary high.

“Porn can become your greatest need. If they have been using porn regularly to ‘get high,’ withdrawal can be as filled with agitation, depression and sleeplessness, as detoxing from alcohol, cocaine and other hard drugs.”

Cape Town-based Standing Together to Oppose Pornography (Stop) director, Clive Human, told Weekend Witness that those they were treating were “getting younger and younger”.

Effort and willpower

“We have kids in grade seven and early high school with compulsive masturbation. I do talks at schools and there’s an anonymous box for issues and questions and that’s how we get notified to many of the problems.”

He said Stop recommend no porn, masturbation or sex as an intervention strategy.

“They got erectile disfunction after a diet of porn and a person is just not as exciting. It takes about three months, sometimes six, to rewire the brain and for the damage to be repaired but that takes effort and willpower.”

He said a lot of the time young children look at porn out of curiosity, but abuse, loneliness and low self-esteem were other factors.

“Intervention can mean telling parents to restrict [children’s] access to phones or using adult content blocks.”

Human said teaching children about porn addiction should be part of the school syllabus.

Boys need to be warned

Board member of The Advice Desk for the Abused at UKZN, Dr Lubna Nadvi, said pornographic images can lead to sexual violence, especially toward women.

“The desire to obtain sexual gratification can often extend to beyond just viewing an image to actually wanting to carry out sexual acts against vulnerable persons without their consent.”

Nadvi said there needed to be an education campaign that warned young people, especially boys, that porn can lead to behaviours that perpetuate gender-based violence.

Researcher at the Wits City Institute specialising in gender and violence, Lisa Vetten, said porn could give young men a skewed view of what women wanted sexually.

She added: “If they are using porn to avoid dealing with actual women, that is a problem. They may lack the ability to be intimate.”

Kerushun Pillay, The Witness


Internet porn wrecking conjugal ties in India (Porn-induced ED), Dr. Narayana Reddy

R. Sivaraman (Link to article)

When an engineer working in a multi-national company in the Middle East approached the Family Court here for divorce from his wife, a software engineer, on grounds that she was sexually dysfunctional and he was unable to consummate his marriage, the woman was shell-shocked.

She vehemently contested the claim and the judge asked for expert assistance.

Under psycho-diagnostic evaluation, the truth tumbled out. It was the man who was avoiding normal sex from day one of their marriage.

The reason: he was psychologically affected by watching pornography, leading to erectile dysfunction.

His is only one of many cases that the Family Court here is hearing: divorce cases set off by excessive or addictive exposure to internet pornography.

Some common facts are that men demanded that wives repeat what they see in hard porn videos, often played in the bedroom itself.

In some cases, unable to disclose this to anyone, and under pressure or abuse, women leave the matrimonial homes, setting the stage for disputes in courts. Experts say internet pornography addiction is now a silent epidemic that is ruining marriages.

As courts tend to view obstinate refusal to consummate conjugal ties as cruelty towards one’s spouse, the problem is passed off as ‘cruelty’ in divorce proceedings.

“In more than three years as a family court judge, I have seen a number of cases of porn-induced sexual dysfunction in men that resulted in unusual and unbearable torture, both physical and mental, to the wives,” says T.C.S. Raja Chockalingam, Judge of the Family Court here. He said wives were often uneasy with demands that they imitate acts done by porn actors. “When husbands insist on this, there is a devastating effect on the conjugal relationship. This kind of porn addiction is the bottom line in a number of divorce cases filed on the ground of cruelty.”

In one case, a husband in an upper middle class family sought divorce on the ground of cruelty on his wife’s part. After detailed evaluation, it was found that the husband wanted to tie his wife’s hand or whip her with a belt during sex.

Her refusal led to the divorce petition. In another case, the husband was averse to normal sex, but wanted his wife to repeat acts appearing on a porn video he played in the bedroom.

Addiction to pornography could lead to loss of concentration at work, withdrawal from close circles, loss of self-esteem and even sleep.

What are the symptoms of porn addiction? Says Dr. Narayana Reddy: surreptitious browsing, getting irritated at suggestions that they should spend less time on the computer, withdrawing from family circles, committing mistakes at work and over-spending.” Psychiatrists say the advent of internet has added elements like accessibility (at minimal or no cost), anonymity and interactivity (in some cases) to pornography, constituting a heady cocktail that has led to widespread addiction.


Irish Times: 'I can’t get stimulated unless I watch porn with my girlfriend' (2016)

February 27, 2016, by Suzi Godson

Q. I’m 25 and am addicted to porn. I have a new girlfriend but I find that I can’t get stimulated by her unless we watch porn.

She’s very understanding but I feel disgusting — should I go cold turkey? How should I rehabilitate myself? I don’t want to lose her.

A. Porn is not a new invention. 

It is notoriously difficult to estimate the number of people who use porn but a survey carried out by the University of Southern California found three quarters of men and more than a third of women had intentionally viewed or downloaded porn. 

Those figures suggest that the majority of people who use porn come to no harm but a minority, men in particular, become hooked on the novel sexual stimuli porn provides abundantly.

“Compulsive” porn use is defined as more than 11 hours of viewing a week. 

Any man who spends that amount of time searching for and masturbating to porn is likely to experience sexual difficulties, from loss of libido and erectile dysfunction to delayed ejaculation and/or genital desensitisation, when they try to have sex with another person rather than on their own.

Cognitive behavioural therapy is a good treatment option, but if you are determined to kick the habit you should also try the NoFap ( porn recovery method. 

Developed by former porn addicts, Alexander Rhodes and Mark Queppet, the online programme is free and the approach is practical and straightforward. 

On the website, compulsive porn users describe how their increased tolerance towards sexual novelty, super-stimulation and exaggerated sex acts eventually rendered them physically incapable of performing during normal sex. 

Some, like you, were motivated to change because they met someone special and they wanted to have a normal sex life. 

Others had no choice because their addiction had taken over their lives.

NoFap advocates a 90-day abstinence programme to reboot the brain and get you back to a state where you respond to sex in the way you used to. 

It will not be easy because rebooting is not a linear process. 

There are highs and lows and some days will be easier than others. 

Previous research has also found people who used a lot of porn experienced higher rates of depression, anxiety, impulsiveness, and vulnerability to stress.

Whether those findings ring a bell with you, or not, it would be worth asking your GP for advice about what to expect before you start. 

Although your doctor might not know much about porn addiction, he or she will know about the best ways to cope with the withdrawal symptoms you are likely to experience. 

Going cold turkey from any dependency is physically and psychologically stressful, but the more support you have, the more likely you are to succeed.

Distraction is important. 

Plan your time so that you keep active; take exercise, do yoga, eat well and avoid spending long periods of time alone.

Porn users who have rebooted their sexual selves report a surge in energy, a reduction in anxiety and an improvement in sexual function, however, they also experience strong urges, discomfort and spontaneous emissions while they are awake and asleep. 

Some also describe a complete loss of libido, which can panic them into using again to ensure that everything is still working. 

Avoid this trap — it is temporary, your libido will return.

Your girlfriend is obviously aware that you have become porn dependent and she knows your decision to detox is an expression of commitment to her and to your relationship. 

Being able to talk to her about what you are experiencing improves your chance of success, and if you can overcome this challenge together, you are likely to feel much closer as a result.


Irish children as young as seven are being exposed to porn. Dr Fergal Rooney (2017)

By Sylvia Pownall (link to original article)

Ireland is in the grip of a porn addiction epidemic with children as young as SEVEN being exposed to x-rated material online. We now rank fourth in the world for per capita porn use behind the UK, Canada and the US – and our obsession with it is driving couples apart and wrecking lives.

Therapists and support groups have reported a stark rise over the past year in the numbers seeking help for their obsession with it. A spokesperson for Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous Ireland said: “There seems to be an enormous increase in the use of cyber sex including porn.

“Now kids as young as seven or eight are getting involved with it, inadvertently in most cases, but it can lead to huge problems.

“We’ve had someone seeking help at the age of 25 who first started using porn at the age of 10.”

He said the emergence of laptops, tablets and smartphones had made online sex more accessible for people to view in secrecy.

The spokesman added: “The increase is frightening. This ruins lives. Many people are at rock bottom when they come to us. In most cases it’s destroyed their marriage and their families.

“Suicide could often be the next step because they are feeling so low.

“The problem is there’s no regulations around it. It’s just like a gambler who can walk into a shop and feed their addiction, it’s the same with porn, there seems to be no barriers to accessing it.”

Psychotherapist and author Trish Murphy says she has seen a huge rise in the numbers seeking help for their obsession.

She said: “It is fairly prevalent. I see a lot of people who are unable to stop porn use, who extend it and feel disgusted that it takes over their whole life, who can’t function with another person as a result of it.”

She said most users had a healthy relationship with porn – but for some what starts out as curiosity can lead to years of deceit, guilt and shame as they get more and more hooked.

“Not everybody has problems,” said Trish. “Most people grow out of it, but people who are particularly socially anxious seem to get sucked in because porn facilitates that and it’s solitary.

“At first it can seem harmless enough, but it can move into live webcam and escort stuff, which can mess up relationships.

“It’s very easy to get into that dark area where you’re disgusted because what you’re getting off on is appalling. You’re frightened that someone will discover that about you.

“Some people keep going further and further to get a bigger hit. They find themselves getting excited by and involved in stuff that disgusts them afterwards.

“I know people who would spend eight hours a day watching porn and be very socially isolated as a result.

“We have people in relationships where one partner goes to bed and the other partner goes online for a couple of hours. There is a sense of betrayal and of an intimate part of their lives not being shared.

“Or perhaps the person has sexual fantasies which are not acceptable to the other person and so intimacy gets less and less over the years.”

Trish warned of the dangers of sexting and said young people were becoming exposed to x-rated material before they were ready to cope with it.

She said: “It’s very dangerous stuff, but it’s everywhere and we need to be conscious of it. Parents need to start a conversation with their children around the whole issue of sex and porn.”

A specialist mental health service was set up at St John of God’s Hospital in Dublin three years ago aimed at addressing porn addiction and extreme sexual urges.

The issues covered include erectile dysfunction, excessive use of porn and paraphilic behaviours - when someone is aroused by fantasising about and engaging in extreme sexual behaviours which can involve an object, animals or inflicting pain.

Dr Fergal Rooney, the psychologist who co-ordinates the service, said: “We’ve found an increasing number of people in difficulties because of porn use.

“Occasionally their use of it moves into illegal territory where they would be looking at images of child abuse, but that would be the extreme.

“Mostly they are using porn to the extent that it disrupts their daily lives and they can’t connect sexually with their partner.

“Porn is not benign. It’s not a pleasant thing for somebody to be sitting for hours on end viewing porn. It’s not fun at that stage and has become a compulsion.

“The more people use porn the more extreme types of sexual behaviour they encounter, and that skews their own sexuality.

“They can find themselves interested in all sorts of behaviour that normally wouldn’t interest them, such as the obsession with anal sex which is driven by porn.

“This leads to intimacy issues and we would see a good proportion of younger men who have issues around erectile dysfunction.”

According to Pornhub the average Irish user spends nine minutes and 48 seconds per visit viewing porn. Kim Kardashian’s sex tape with Ray Jay remains the most viewed worldwide racking up 150million views.

The most common search words used in Ireland include MILF, mammy, tractor, gay, shift and lesbian, and one quarter of visitors to the site are women.


Is Porn Destroying Your Sex Life? By Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S

Posted: 09/24/2013 - LINK TO POST

Statistics on Internet porn use are typically inflated. Porn providers pump up their numbers in an effort to increase advertising revenues, and anti-porn activists grab the most inflated stats they can find in an effort to show the all-pervasive nature of the supposed problem. Even the most conservative statistical estimates show that porn use -- driven by online accessibility, affordability and anonymity -- is very much on the rise. What you may find more alarming than the sheer volume of pornography we consume is the effect it could be having on your sex life.

Porn Use Goes Up, Happiness Goes Down

In a recent survey of 68 leading sex and relationship experts, 86 percent said they believe porn has had a negative effect on their relationships. Nearly two-thirds, 63 percent, said they think porn use changes men's expectations of what sex with a real-world partner should be like, and 85 percent said they think porn has had a negative effect on women's self-confidence, primarily because women feel as if they now must behave like porn stars in the bedroom.

Other surveys provide similar findings. For instance, one study revealed that women whose partners look at pornography frequently (in the woman's estimation) are less happy in their relationships than women partnered with men who either infrequently use porn or don't use it all (to the woman's knowledge). The same study found that a female partner's self-esteem decreases as her male partner's porn use increases. The most common complaint by women whose partners use porn frequently is that they can't measure up to the images shown online.

Perhaps, however, it is men who should be worried about measuring up. Consider Robert, a 26-year-old computer programmer:

My girlfriend Melissa is a sales rep who spends her weekdays traveling, coming home and spending time with me on weekends. Our sex life was great until about a year ago. I used to really look forward to Friday nights because I knew the first thing that would happen after she got home was we'd hop into bed for hot, sweaty, incredibly intense sex. Our (my) pent-up sexual energy usually resulted in a quick session, followed by a shower (together), a romantic dinner out, and more leisurely lovemaking later that night. Over the last year, however, I've struggled to achieve and maintain an erection, and sometimes I can't ejaculate. And we're definitely not doing it twice in one night like we used to. I've actually faked an orgasm a couple of times just to get things over with. What I can't understand is why I'm ready, willing, and able when logging onto my favorite porn sites -- something I do regularly when Melissa is on the road -- but I can't function when I've got the real thing right there in front of me. I am NOT bored with Melissa, and I still think she's very sexy and exciting.

Robert's inability to perform sexually is more common among young men than one might expect, and it is directly related to his porn use. In fact, it is becoming increasingly apparent that online porn is a leading cause of both erectile dysfunction (ED) and delayed ejaculation (DE) in otherwise healthy men in their sexual prime. In one study, male porn users reported increasing difficulty in being turned on by their real-world sexual partners. When asked if this phenomenon had any relationship to viewing pornography, subjects answered that it initially helped them get more excited during sex, but over time it had the opposite effect. So, thanks to pornography, growing numbers of women now find themselves in relationships with men who are suffering from sexual dysfunction, which affects the women as much as the men. After all, if your man can't get it up, keep it up, or reach orgasm, your sexual pleasure is likely to be diminished.

Common complaints about porn-induced male sexual dysfunction include:

  • He has no problem achieving erection or orgasm with pornography, but in person, with his willing partner, he struggles with one or both.
  • He is able to have sex and achieve orgasm with his partner, but reaching orgasm takes a lot longer than it used to and his partner says he seems disengaged.
  • He can maintain an erection with his partner, but can only reach orgasm by replaying clips of Internet porn in his mind.
  • He increasingly prefers pornography to real-life sex, finding it more intense and engaging.
  • He keeps porn-related secrets from his partner (amount of time spent looking at porn, types images seen, etc.)
  • His partner feels like "the other woman."

This problem is not simply due to the frequency of masturbation and orgasm; it is more related to the fact that men in general are both visually stimulated and turned-on by new stimuli. Essentially, a man who spends 70, 80, or even 90 percent of his sexual life fantasizing and masturbating to porn -- countless images of young, exciting, constantly changing partners and sexual experiences -- is, over time, likely to find his in-the-flesh encounters less stimulating than the endless parade of new material in his head. So what we are now seeing on a relatively wide scale is an emotional disconnect with real-world sex partners that is manifesting not only physically as sexual dysfunction, but emotionally as a lack of interest in real-world intimate connections. And sexual enhancement drugs -- Viagra, Cialis, Levitra, and the like -- won't fix things because these drugs only dilate the blood vessels to sustain an erection, not to create one. The brain and body need to become aroused first of their own accord. Without that, no dose of "erection enhancing" drugs will help.

So... No More Sex?

Actually, the news is not all bad. For encouragement, we need only to look at the brains of recovering drug addicts. It is well-known that chronic use of addictive drugs causes the brain to "rewire" itself. These neurobiological changes are, in large part, what makes stopping so difficult and relapse so common among the people who do try to quit. However, numerous studies have shown that if a drug addict remains sober for six months to a year, the brain nearly always returns to something very close to its normal state. Anecdotal evidence suggests that behavioral addictions -- including porn addiction -- are the same, and the brain can repair itself when it has the time it needs to heal. According to the Web site Your Brain on Porn, turning off the porn will in most cases "reboot" the brain, allowing dopamine receptors that are damaged from overstimulation (and causing sexual dysfunction and emotional disinterest) to recover, eventually restoring the brain's reward circuits to something approaching baseline. In other words, the longer a porn abuser stays away from porn, the more likely it is that his in-the-flesh sexual dysfunction and/or disinterest will dissipate.

Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S, is senior vice president of clinical development with Elements Behavioral Health. An author and subject expert on the relationship between digital technology and human sexuality, Mr. Weiss has served as a media specialist for CNN, the Oprah Winfrey Network, the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and the Today Show, among many others. Mr. Weiss is the author of Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, and co-author with Dr. Jennifer Schneider of both Untangling the Web: Sex, Porn, and Fantasy Obsession in the Internet Age and the upcoming 2013 release, Closer Together, Further Apart: The Effect of Technology and the Internet on Sex, Intimacy and Relationships, along with numerous peer-reviewed articles and chapters.


Is Porn Erectile Dysfunction Fact or Fiction? by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC (2015)

Posted by Kurt Smith, LMFT, LPCC, AFC on Fri, Feb 27, 2015


Porn is a pretty uncomfortable subject for nearly everyone to discuss. Something that typically accompanies porn viewing that can be particular embarrassing is masturbation. And now a new problem has surfaced around porn and masturbation in the form of porn erectile dysfunction.
But wait a minute, isn't it just older guys who have erectile dysfunction? Yes, that is usually true, although men of any age can have this problem. Porn erectile dysfunction, however, is a new problem, different from regular ED, and affecting men of all ages.

Obviously, not being able to get an erection is a physical problem, but a number of things, including medical or physical problems, as well as mental and emotional issues can cause it. Here are a few of the most common causes: high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes; some prescription medications; alcohol and drug use, smoking; depression, stress, anger, anxiety; overweight, self image, low libido. As exhaustive as this list seems, the thing most unlikely to be seen on any description of causes of erectile dysfunction is porn.

But shouldn't watching porn help with getting an erection, not inhibit one? Maybe, maybe not.

Before the Internet, access to porn was limited to porno videos and magazines, like Playboy and Penthouse. While some men had collections of these, most guys had limited access. But the Internet has now made the availability to porn images and video clips nearly instantaneous and limitless.

This endless supply visual sexual images has fed men's natural desire to both "hunt" and fantasize about sex. As a result, the pleasure of sexual fantasizing combined with an infinite supply of stimulating images has turned looking at porn into a game of seeking ever increasingly exciting images and fantasies for many, many men. This is one of the big reasons why men watch porn, and how it can become so habitual and consume hours upon hours. Here's what one woman told me:

"My spouse is 35 years old. He has struggled with porn before it even hit the Internet. Since he was 12. Boxes and boxes of magazines. Now in his phones... There are 14,000 photos. Yes. 14,000. That's an old phone. The new one has 5,000. And now there is a back up phone and I don't know how many there are. He admits it's an issue. Says when he feels it taking over."


As shocking as this may be, I've actually had men confess to me in counseling of having even more porn saved up than this guy. Like this husband, so many men have no idea how big of an issue their porn watching really is. After all, isn't it normal for men to want to look at a naked woman? Yes, but an excessive amount of anything causes problems -- even good things (however porn isn't a good thing).

Now an increasing number of men are reporting difficulties getting and keeping an erection when being intimate with their partners. I know men who also have problems reaching orgasm when having sex with their wives or girlfriends. And some men can even lose interest in having sex at all with a real woman. Now aren't men suppose the think about sex every 6 seconds? Aren't they supposed to be so sex focus they'd have intercourse nearly any time? What gives? Porn can cause erection problems.

Sexual arousal releases the pleasure chemical dopamine in the brain. Like anything, too much dopamine can be a problem. When viewing porn becomes habitual it can cause the nerves in the brain to become less sensitive and responsive to dopamine. This results in normal sexual intimacy (with a real woman) being insufficient to produce enough dopamine for arousal. The result of this change in the brain (which is reversible by the way) can be seen in the prior descriptions of men needing more and more porn to get aroused and reach orgasm.

There are some clinicians who say that porn erectile dysfunction is a myth. But there are also a lot of people who believe porn is harmless too. Neither of which I agree with.

The truth about porn is that it gives short-term pleasure but along with that comes long-term problems. Masturbating to porn repetitively over time raises the threshold necessary for sexual arousal, as well as orgasm. As a result sexual stimulus, whether real or digital, that used to immediately create excitement no longer does, and so more and more, and newer and newer stimuli is required.

Understanding all of this it's really not hard to see how normal sex with someone you've been with before would not arouse a porn user like it used too. One man I treated for porn addiction would need to masturbate and orgasm again after having sex with his wife.

The good news is that porn erectile dysfunction is reversible. Stop viewing porn and masturbating, and typically within 3 months the dopamine levels in your brain will return to normal levels. However, stopping porn viewing is much easier said than done. Despite good intentions, the addictive power of porn and its easy accessibility make it very difficult for most men to stop on their own without professional help.

There are a number of mom myths we all heard as kids. One of the most famous mom sayings has been, "Put on a jacket. You'll catch a cold." But another one involves the male anatomy, "If you keep playing with it, it will fall off someday." I actually thought it was, "Masturbation will make you go blind." Obviously, it's not going to fall off nor are you going to go blind, but it's a myth that looking at porn is harmless and the reality is that porn erectile dysfunction can be one of the consequences.

Related Posts

Is Porn Good For Us or Bad For Us? by Philip Zimbardo PhD. (2016)

New research suggests watching porn may lead to some undesirable consequences

People continue to ask the same questions about porn that they have for decades – is porn good for us or bad for us? Is it immoral or is it empowering? Damaging or liberating? Asking these questions inevitably leads to an intense clashing of opinions and little else. One question that is not being asked is: what is porn doing to us and are we OK with that?

There is a growing body of research that says watching porn may lead to some not so desirable individual and social outcomes both in the short and long-term.

Some people can watch porn occasionally and not suffer significant side effects; however, plenty of people out there, including teens and pre-teens with highly plastic brains, find they are compulsively using high-speed Internet porn with their porn tastes becoming out of sync with their real-life sexuality.

Just visit the sites YourBrainOnPorn and Reddit’s No Fap (no masturbating to online porn) forum to see stories from thousands of young people struggling to overcome what they feel is an escalating addiction.

In the first-ever brain study on Internet porn users, which was conducted at the Max Planck Institute for Human Development in Berlin, researchers found that the hours and years of porn use were correlated with decreased grey matter in regions of the brain associated with reward sensitivity, as well as reduced responsiveness to erotic still photos.[1]

Less grey matter means less dopamine and fewer dopamine receptors. The lead researcher, Simone Kühn, hypothesized that “regular consumption of pornography more or less wears out your reward system.”[2]

This is one of the reasons why Playboy, the magazine that introduced most of us to the naked female form, will no longer feature nude playmates after early 2016. As Pamela Anderson, who is featured on the cover of the final nude issue, said, “It’s hard to compete with the Internet.”[3]

A separate German study showed users’ problems correlated most closely with the numbers of tabs open and degree of arousal.[4] This helps explain why some users become dependent on new, surprising, or more extreme, porn. They need more and more stimulation to become aroused, get an erection and attain a sexual climax.

A recent study led by researchers at the University of Cambridge found that men who demonstrate compulsive sexual behavior require more and novel sexual images than their peers because they habituate to what they are seeing faster than their peers do.[5]

Another recent study from the University of Cambridge found that those who have compulsive sexual behavior exhibit a behavioral addiction which is comparable to drug addiction in the limbic brain circuitry after watching porn. There is dissociation between their sexual desires and their response to porn – users may mistakenly believe that the porn that makes them the most aroused is representative of their true sexuality.[6]

It may be no coincidence then that porn users report altered sexual tastes,[7] less satisfaction in their relationships[8] and real-life intimacy and attachment problems.[9]

A lot of young men especially talk about how porn has given them a “twisted” or unrealistic view of what sex and intimacy are supposed to be, and how they then find it difficult to get interested in and aroused by a real-life partner. 

Indeed, for many of them a real-life sexual encounter can be a foreign and anxiety-provoking experience. This is because communication skills are required, their entire body needs to be engaged and they must interact with another three-dimensional flesh-and-blood person who has their own sexual and romantic needs. 

The book Sex at Dawn offers a relevant metaphor:

There's an old story about a trial of a man charged with biting off another man's finger in a fight. An eyewitness took the stand. The defense attorney asked, "Did you actually see my client bit off the finger?" The eyewitness said, "Well, no, I didn't." "Aha!" said the attorney with a smug smile. "How then can you claim he bit off the man's finger?" "Well," replied the witness, "I saw him spit it out."[10]

Think about this in the context of young people watching online porn. Though the effects that online porn has on the brain and behavior have not yet been fully determined, never before in human history have young men experienced the phenomenon known as porn-induced erectile dysfunction (PIED).

In the first comprehensive study of male sexual behavior in the US, which was conducted by Alfred Kinsey in 1948 and published in the subsequent book Sexual Behavior in the Human Male, just 1 percent of men under 30 years old and 3 percent of men between 30 and 45 years old, reported erectile dysfunction.[11] Yet, in a recent study, more than a third of young military servicemen reported experiencing erectile dysfunction.[12] Other recent studies had similar findings among non-military youth around the world, with rates showing a marked increase after high-speed Internet porn became widespread.[13] [14] [15]

For our upcoming book, Man Interrupted, we interviewed a number of young men regarding their concerns about porn and how there is a lack of guidance for the overuse of porn. A common sentiment among them was: “I'd like to know that more psychologists acknowledged porn addiction at all degrees of severity. If that were the case I'd be less pessimistic about telling them about my problems.” 

They also talk about how other areas of their life are affected, such as concentration and emotional well-being, by watching excessive amounts of porn because they notice massive positive shifts in their personal lives and outlooks once they stop masturbating to it. 

These young men often recount how their social anxiety drastically improved – including an increase in confidence, eye contact, and comfort interacting with women. They also report more energy to get through their daily lives, concentration becoming easier, depression being alleviated, and stronger erections and sexual responsiveness after voluntarily engaging in a “no fap” challenge.

Regardless of how one might feel about porn’s value, more and more studies suggest porn users suffer detrimental effects. Ultimately, more research needs to be conducted. However, if in the meantime we continue to deny that porn can be a problem for some people, we are effectively denying these people, many of them underage, help and guidance.

This post was co-written with Nikita Coulombe. Also see our book, Man Interrupted, and my TED talk on the "Demise of Guys."


Is Technology Ruining Our Brains (Comedy Central show). Alexandra Katehakis, MFT, CSAT-S, CST-S (2017)

Link to the show: Is Technology Ruining Our Brains. The segment with Alexandra Katehakis starts at 11:40

More info about  Alexandra Katehakis, MFT, CSAT-S, CST-S




Is online PORN wrecking your sex life? Sexpert Dr Harry Fisch says explicit images are like 'fast food' and reveals how they destroy your libido

  • Dr Harry Fisch is an expert on sexual behaviour and a TV doctor
  • His book, The New Naked, reveals why sex lives are suffering
  • A major reason is spending too much time looking at porn
  • Says porn addiction is becoming an increasingly common problem

Link to article

Porn has never been more prevalent. Easily accessed online, the adult entertainment industry has been blamed for everything from unrealistic expectations in bed to the depraved behaviour of killers such as Vincent Tabak.

Now porn is in the firing line of sexual health specialist and TV personality Dr Harry Fisch, who in his latest book, The New Naked, claims watching too much is making sex lives suffer.

In this exclusive extract, he reveals why porn is the sexual equivalent of fast food and explains what to do if your partner likes it a little bit too much.

'Watching porn and masturbating is the sexual equivalent of fast food. It’s instant gratification, and it’s fine once in a while when you’re craving some French fries or nachos smothered in that fake orange cheese goop, but for nourishment? Forget about it. 

Like many other things that are bad for us yet can sure taste good in the moment, pornography can start out as a harmless, once-in-a-while indulgence.

But for a lot of men, it can be surprisingly easy to get sucked into the vortex of a true addiction to porn that will be hazardous to his health, both physically and emotionally, without even knowing it.

That’s why porn addiction is the number one issue that sex therapists deal with.

Countless experts have discussed the shocking amount of porn consumed in this country but here’s the thing I have yet to hear any of them talk about: For the overwhelming majority of men who watch a lot of porn, it creates unique sexual performance problems. 

Yes, the very thing that is supposed to stimulate and arouse men (or women) sexually can actually destroy their overall libido and performance.

So why isn’t anyone talking about the Effect on Sexual Performance--the ESP—aspect of porn? They’re discussing why a guy watches it--and not what happens to his penis when he watches.

I can tell how much porn a man is watching as soon as he starts talking candidly to me about any sexual dysfunction he has.

When a man chronically watches porn and gets off on it, or watches porn with his hands on himself so he can masturbate at the same time (which is what usually happens), the sensory stimulation he gets from the virtual world makes it much more difficult for him to get aroused, stay aroused, and be happily aroused by the real, live woman in his life.

Not good: Too much porn can also have a negative effect on male arousal according to Dr Fisch

Not good: Too much porn can also have a negative effect on male arousal according to Dr Fisch


Every addict is different but there are certain behaviours that would suggest porn addiction. If you answer yes to any of these, it might be time for a heart-to-heart.

  • Is he asking for rougher sex or more unusual positions? 
  • Is he suffering from any ejaculation problems? 
  • Is he being more critical about your body, particularly your breast size? 
  • Is he asking you to make any changes to your body, such as getting a Brazilian wax, that you are uncomfortable with? 
  • Does he have particular favourites that he likes to watch repeatedly? 
  • Does he get angry if you don’t want to watch with him? 
  • Does he withhold sex if you tell him you don’t want to watch?
  • Does he want to act out different scenarios he might have seen, even if you make it clear you don’t want to? 
  • Does he have secret or password-protected sites online? 
  • Has he ever watched porn in an inappropriate public place (such as on an aeroplane)? 
  • Does he have another mobile phone account or credit card? 
  • Will he cancel social engagements because he’d rather watch porn? 
  • Are his friends dropping hints to you about the porn he watches? 
  • Is he evasive or defensive when you ask him about porn? 
  • Does he choose porn instead of wanting to have sex with you?

In other words, his frequent porn-fuelled masturbation leads to sexual dysfunction with a partner. If he can only have an orgasm when watching porn, and if he becomes accustomed to having orgasms only in a certain way or while watching a certain thing, he’s in trouble and so are you. 

There’s also a flip side: Some porn addicts they want sex on their terms, in order to fulfill whatever fantasies have been “inspired” by what they’ve been watching.

The porn and his masturbating are having the opposite effect on his performance when having sex—it’s called retarded ejaculation.

His lasting 'too long' is the opposite of what most men experience when they watch a lot of porn—they can’t last at all.

While it sounds like it might be a good thing, lasting too long can be just as troublesome for a relationship as when he’s finished too quickly: feeling sore, bored, or fed up, wondering when he’s going to get the job done. Not to mention that the constant friction can actually be painful after a while. 

What’s disheartening for me is that so many of the people I talk to have yet to realise that there’s such a downside to watching pornography.

Unfulfilling: Spending too much time with the computer can lead to a dull sex life on both sides of the couple

Unfulfilling: Spending too much time with the computer can lead to a dull sex life on both sides of the couple

Not at first. I’m the first person to tell you that a little porn can be a lot of fun—and that a man who likes to watch once in a while is not necessarily verging on porn addiction.

But people can easily develop an addiction to it without even realising because it’s such an easy habit to indulge in.

A man can tell himself he’s not really harming anyone or 'cheating'. He may have starting watching as a way to spice up his sex life or because it was fun—but viewing habits can quickly escalate, in part because it’s so easy to stream porn 24/7.

He can always find something to watch when he’s in the mood, no matter where he is or what time it is, either.

How does anyone get over a porn addiction? It’s not easy but it is doable. Have your partner try these steps first:

Improvement: According to Dr Fisch, porn addiction can be overcome and sex lives put back on track

Out now: The New Naked: The Ultimate Sex Education for Grown-ups is available from Amazon

Out now: The New Naked: The Ultimate Sex Education for Grown-ups is available from Amazon

• Take an immediate break—from all sex and masturbation, not just porn. When a man doesn’t ejaculate for several days, he will be a lot more sensitive (and a lot hornier!), and he’ll be more likely to climax within a normal period of time. 

• Try to schedule something absorbing during the time he usually spends watching porn. If you can take a short trip, great (just don’t turn on the TV, as there is usually porn available in hotel rooms if that’s where you’re staying). Or have him do additional chores around the house (like the long-overdue garage cleaning, painting, or gardening, for example—something that is physical and makes it impossible to do while any electronic devices are around).

• Try to make your foreplay into more play. Ask him what he likes to do when he’s watching porn, and replace his hands with yours. When you touch him where he likes to touch himself, he’ll relearn how to get that same sensation when he’s alone with you. Do this together—no cheating for him and going back to porn!—and I promise that you won’t need thirty minutes for an orgasm any more. 

• It’s important you both talk about how much you love each other, and how much you cherish the emotional aspects of your sexual relationship so you can refocus on the qualities of your partner that you first were attracted to. Act the way you did when you were first courting—I’ll bet porn was not part of the equation then. This way, your desire will build naturally so that you both can enjoy the pleasure of real sex, and leave the virtual sex to the robots.

• If this doesn’t work because your partner is truly addicted and/or unwilling to discuss the matter with you, you should consult professional help. Look for a sex therapist experienced with porn addiction and sexual dysfunction. Be prepared for the addict to have a hard time. If addictions were easy to kick, there wouldn’t be any addicts.

Just as smokers need to find something to do with their hands when they quit—drinking coffee, chewing gum, or eating (which is why ex-smokers often gain weight), so do you need to find a better substitute. Luckily, you already have one lying next to you every night. 

The New Naked: The Ultimate Sex Education for Grown-Ups, £9.05 (Sourcebooks) is out now and available from Amazon. See for more information

Read more: Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

Is porn addiction on the rise in Bangalore? Therapist Rajan B Bhonsle


Jan 19, 2014, 12.00 AM IST

Karnataka is said to be ranked third when it comes to viewing pornography. TOI explores...

IT professional Amit Singh, 33, (name changed) lives the good life. He earns well, has a good circle of friends and a loving family. But he stood to lose this all to an addiction. Amit started viewing pornography in his early 20s out of sheer curiosity.

Around two years ago, his behaviour started to change. The normally social man began distancing himself from his friends. He became withdrawn and his wife would find him on his laptop on most nights. Initially, she suspected Amit of having an affair, but after looking at his browser history one day, she realized that his habit of watching porn had consumed him.

"I had become extremely withdrawn. I didn't think addiction was even possible. I would stay up all night to watch porn and I had even started viewing it at work. This started affecting my work. I didn't feel like going out and started distancing myself from my family as well," says Amit, who, with professional help, has been able to deal with his addiction.

With 199 cases booked under the Information Technology Act, 2000, in the last three years, Karnataka ranks third in the country when it comes to viewing pornography. While the actual number may be much higher, the fact is that more and more people are getting hooked to porn.

Ali Khwaja, an educationist, attributes this to the ease with which people can access porn. "With the internet making its way into phones, people now don't even care about who is sitting next to them. A case in point is that of the MLAs viewing porn in the Karnataka Assembly," says Ali, who has observed that a growing number of middle-aged men are getting addicted to pornography. While one may expect such men to have a roaring sex life, the opposite is true. According to Ali, addicts are unable to have sex with their wives, and can only perform if they watch porn. What's worse is that they can become aggressive and, at times, this leads to violence.

"Everyone who watches porn is not at a risk of becoming an addict. Those that watch regular acts of sex are less likely to get hooked, but if a person enjoys watching deviant sex, then there is a higher risk of becoming an addict. This is an indication of a minor mental illness, and if left unchecked, it can result in criminal activity," says Ali.

Counsellor Rajan B Bhonsle sees couples whose relationships are on the brink of ending at least once a month because one partner is addicted to pornography. But can this be termed an illness? "All addictions are illnesses. Addicts have a compelling urge to indulge in a particular act or substance, which affects their everyday life and makes them dysfunctional. Porn also falls in this category," says Rajan.

Porn addiction is rampant today. More and more disturbed parents and spouses have been seeking help, and there is even a growing concern in schools. Rajan remembers how on a trip to a small town in Assam, teachers told him that they were worried because many of their students were addicted to porn.

"If addiction can be so high in a small town where access to internet is not as easy, imagine what the numbers in a big metropolis will be," adds Rajan. In India, there is no scientific study yet on the access of pornography on mobile phones. Supreme Court advocate and cyber law expert Pavan Duggal believes that this corrupts young minds who can easily view this content. "The law has not done much to prevent this. In fact, the IT Act has done a huge disservice. Publishing porn, which used to be a non-bailable offence, is now a bailable one. Pornography is not high on the priority of law enforcement agencies," says Pavan, who believes that concrete changes are required to curb access to porn.

"The Indian cyber law needs to be amended and made more effective to curb access, use, transmission and publishing of porn. Also, cyber education and etiquette need to be inculcated in school curriculum to sensitize children about the huge porn content available and how they should protect themselves from it," he adds.

Signs of addiction - People who are addicted have a secret life and spend unusually long hours in privacy
- Their work gets affected and productivity decreases
- They stay up all night and look tired and sleepy throughout the day
- Social life of addicts gets hit as they rarely go out and meet people
- They have a low libido

Is “Normal” Porn Watching Affecting Your Manhood? by sexologist Maryline Décarie, M.A.

Is “Normal” Porn Watching Affecting Your Manhood?

I see it over and over with my clients.  Men come in for a consultation with complaints of lowered libido, delayed or absence ofejaculation, and problems with their erection not being as firm and full as it used to, or even no longer having erections at all.  The first thing I ask them is whether or not they watch porn on a regular basis and the response is invariably yes.

Porn addiction is the buzzword right now in men’s sexual issues and I often have a problem with the nomenclature.  Calling it an addiction means that we look at it from an addiction model perspective: Does your porn habit affect your social life? Your relationships? Your work or school performance? Your financial situation? Cause legal problems? If you answer yes to one of more ofthese questions then you have a porn addiction.

My issue with this perspective is that even if you have a “normal” level of porn consumption that doesn’t impact any of the above, your
porn habit could still have a detrimental effect on your sexuality.  In my opinion the “Do You Have A Porn Problem?” screening questionnaire
should look something like the following:

  • Do find you need to masturbate and climax more often than before?
  • Have your erections gotten less firm and full?
  • Do you have times were you cannot get an erection?
  • Do you find it takes longer to climax than it used to?
  • Are there times when you can’t orgasm at all?
  • Do you find it takes more stimulation to climax than it used to?
  • Do you find it difficult to climax from intercourse?
  • Do you find it difficult to climax from oral sex?
  • Do you find that some sexual images aren’t arousing at all?
  • Do you play porn imagery in your head during sex to help you climax?
  • Is sex with a partner not as satisfying as masturbating to porn?

If you answered yes to a few of the questions above, then it’s possible that your porn watching has begun to have an impact on your sexuality.  It’s called desensitization.  Basically the more you masturbate to porn the less real life events are able to elicit appropriate levels of arousal.

So what do you do?  One successful program had men stop all sexual climaxes for 90 days: no porn, no masturbation, and no sex.  This gives time to the brain to reset to its original standard. Obviously it’s easier said than done but with some information, support, counseling, and lots of willpower it’s possible and worthwhile judging by the testimonies.

LIVE BLOG: Porn-induced erectile dysfunction (Dr. Abraham Morgentaler, Gabe Deem)





Looking at porn on the internet could ruin your sex life, urologist says (Harry Fisch, MD)

Hey, Alanis Morissette. This actually IS ironic. Probably. Scientists have discovered that the more online porn you consume, the less you want the real thing.

Sexual health expert Dr Harry Fisch reveals in his latest book The New Naked that, ahem, actively enjoying porn can cause sexual dysfunction – meaning you are less able to get it on for real.

The TV doc says it can be ‘surprisingly easy’ to get sucked into the vortex of a truly hazardous addiction to porn and that having too much ‘hands-on’ experience while watching it can make it ‘significantly more difficult’ to get aroused – and stay aroused – in a real-life situation.

Also – bad news all round – it could impact upon how arousing men find their own lovely wives or girlfriends.

He says that when he meets men complaining of sexual dysfunction, the Effect on Sexual Performance (ESP) of porn is ‘instantly apparent’.

‘Watching porn and masturbating is the sexual equivalent of fast food,’ he says. ‘It’s instant gratification, and it’s fine once in a while when you’re craving some French fries or nachos smothered in that fake orange cheese goop, but for nourishment? Forget about it.’

That’s not to say he thinks all porn is really, really bad. Just when men watch it ‘chronically’ with, as he delicately puts it, their hands on themselves. Try someone else’s hands, he recommends.

Basically, step away from the laptop (a bit) and get back in the bedroom.

You can read more in Dr Fisch’s book, The New Naked: The Ultimate Sex Education For Grown-Ups.

Wednesday 16 Apr 2014


Link to Dr Harry Fisch's website

Men who watch too much porn can't get it up, warns Manchester sex therapist

A Manchester-based psychosexual therapist has warned that pornography addiction causing a rise in the number of healthy, young men seeking medical help for erectile dysfunction.

Porn-induced erectile dysfunction (PIED) is a relatively new sexual issue affecting a generation of men who have grown up with unlimited access to explicit material.

Having unrestricted access to the maximum stimulus that pornography provides can lead to a number of sexual dysfunctions, according to psychosexual therapist Janet Eccles.

“Sex with a long-term partner might suffer because the porn user just isn’t excited enough anymore,” she explained.

“What gets lost here is the idea of one’s sexuality being for oneself and one’s chosen partner.”

Hundreds of men struggling with the effects of PIED have reported experiencing this exact problem on addiction forums – some of which are being inundated with millions of hits a day.

One forum user writing of his experiences said: “My porn and masturbation habits had ground my ‘poor little man’ into a desensitized, permanently flaccid, useless addition to my body that simply didn't want or fancy real female attention.”

Another man, aged 22, said: “I used to get nervous about having sex with my girlfriend because I had the constant threat of erectile dysfunction looming over me.”

“I used to resist her advances and make excuses as to why we couldn't have sex because I had either already masturbated that day and wasn't in the mood or because I was terrified of not being able to perform and having to suffer the shame, embarrassment and indignity of erectile dysfunction.”

A rising number of young men are turning to Viagra to solve the problem – but the medical approach often proves useless because the issue with PIED begins in the brain.

 “The problem is that dopamine – the hormone released that enables that pleasurable state – is part of the reward circuit in the brain and it can become desensitized to triggers,” Janet explained.

“We might see one image one day that excites us and return to it again and again, only then we find that it doesn’t excite us anymore.

“I’ve seen many clients, who despite consciously not wanting to use porn, find themselves returning to porn sites over and over again compulsively.”

Users end up seeking more extreme stimuli to achieve the same ‘high’ and research at Cambridge University has likened the brain activity of compulsive pornography users to that of drug addicts.

One 20-year-old man writing about his experiences said: “I thought it was normal, but the truth is that I was a dopamine junkie.”

“The more porn you watch, the more you need and the more hardcore porn you need to feel fully aroused.”

“At my worst, I was dabbling into occasional bestiality, frequent incest scenes or else always another hardcore type of porn.”

The compulsive need to find a greater stimulus means that the brain’s pleasure centre becomes numbed to ‘normal’ sexual experiences, resulting in a lack of arousal and erectile issues with real-life partners.

“It may be that the idea of intimate sexual contact with someone they know well just ‘doesn’t do it anymore’ for them so they may become withdrawn from their partner and avoid sex altogether,” Janet continued.

Many men sharing their experiences online have spoken of similar issues, explaining that their addiction led them to feel isolated, depressed and unconfident.

Some have even reported suicidal thoughts as a result of the addiction.

“They lose their own natural sense of being a sexual being – the natural ebb and flow of libido, the closeness and comfort of a partner and forget what sex is actually about for them,” Janet went on.

“It becomes a robotic, emotionally sterile experience, instead of a sharing, bonding one.”

As a result, men suffering from PIED and addiction are encouraging each other to quit the habit and begin ‘rebooting’ – the process of re-wiring the brain into being stimulated by natural sexual triggers.

Those in the back-to-basics stage have reported much higher sensitivity to more subtle sexual triggers such as touch and smell.

One 19 year-old man describing his ‘reboot’ said: “The first weeks were the hardest with raging cravings, complete and utter brain fog, decreasing confidence and overall happiness as well as brutal mood swings.

“My porn-wired – now unsatisfied, dopamine-deficient – nervous system turned me in to a complete wreck.

“Then I started making serious progress; urges were going down, my nervous system slowly rewired itself to respond with arousal to touch and smell, instead of just to the cold light of a computer screen.

“As my mind got clearer, my confidence got greater and my social anxiety diminished.”

Many others have described the ‘rebooting’ journey as ‘life-changing’, affecting not only their sex lives – but their entire self-esteem.

“Good sex is about having fun, it’s about being able to express yourself and share yourself in a safe, loving, exciting or tender way,” Janet concluded.

“It’s not about just copying what you see on a computer screen.”

For more information, visit Janet Eccle's website.

May 6, 2014 | By Kat Woodcock



Need porn diet for three to five months to get an erection again, Alexandra Katehakis MFT, CSAT-S

LINK TO ARTICLE - 'Youth and Pornography Addiction' (The Fix)

  • Young viewers are unintentionally training their bodies to become aroused by the unique conditions provided by internet pornography, explained Katehakis, who is also a certified sex addiction therapist and clinical director of the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles. “What happens is when these neuronal networks start to fire together, they become wired together,” she said.
  • The simplest treatment may also be the hardest. “The most important thing to do is to stop looking at it,” Katehakis said. “For the young men we've treated, they literally have to go on a porn diet for three to five months to get an erection again.”


Letting teens get their quick fix of sex on the net could cause long-term physiological and psychological damage.

Men younger than ever are reporting difficulty achieving intimacy in relationships and are struggling well into adulthood to regain normal sexual function, according to sex addiction experts.

High-speed Internet pornography, more specifically the addiction to seeking novel and increasingly shocking images, is to blame for these sexual problems, according to therapists who counsel men and boys as young as preteens.  “There seems to be a classic pattern that is emerging which is that the addiction to pornography develops in the adolescent years, stays hidden for a time, and not until the teen grows into adulthood and experiences serious marital conflict [does he] seek treatment,” said psychotherapist Matt Bulkley, counselor at the Youth Pornography Addiction Center in St. George, Utah. 

For the young men we've treated, they literally have to go on a porn diet for three to five months to get an erection again.

Young viewers of Internet pornography are more likely to suffer long term physiological and psychological damage lasting into adulthood because the exposure happened during a time when their brains were not yet finished developing, Bulkley explained. “In some cases, erectile dysfunction is the result of the brain being trained to be aroused by pornography,” he said.

The problems arise when a younger viewer who has not yet had any real life romantic or sexual experience learns the “birds and the bees” from watching pornography. Teens may immediately experience feelings of confusion, isolation and shame when they view pornographic content. When that teen moves into adulthood seeking a relationship, he may have problems with sexual interest, arousal and monogamy. “When it comes to understanding intimacy, porn is masterful at distorting what it is that is involved in a real relationship,” Bulkley said. 

How is Internet Pornography Addictive?

Scientists are just beginning to link heavy pornography viewing with the same pleasure-reward responses that occur in drug addiction. When viewing pornography, the brain releases large amounts of the neurotransmitter dopamine, the same chemical that drives reward-seeking behavior in substance addictions, according to Psychology Today contributor Gary Wilson.

Wilson is co-author of the book, Cupid's Arrow, and the mastermind behind, a website that explores topics relating to neuroscience, behavioral addiction and sexual conditioning. In his article, “Why Shouldn't Johnny Watch Porn if He Likes?” Wilson shows how younger brains are particularly susceptible to the thrill-seeking effect of dopamine as compared to adult viewers. Teen brains are the most sensitive to dopamine at around age 15 and react up to four times more strongly to images perceived as exciting. On top of the increased thrill-seeking, teens have a higher capacity to log long hours in front of a computer screen without experiencing burnout. Additionally, teens act based on emotional impulses rather than logical planning. These traits combined make the adolescent brain especially vulnerable to addiction.  Pornography addiction during adolescence is particularly troubling because of the way neuron pathways in the brain form during this period. The circuitry in the brain undergoes an explosion of growth followed by a rapid pruning of neuron pathways between ages 10 and 13. Wilson describes this as the “use it or lose it” period of a teen's development. 

“We restrict our options—without realizing how critical our choices were during our final, pubescent, neuronal growth spurt,” Wilson wrote. “...This is one reason why polls asking teens how Internet porn use is affecting them are unlikely to reveal the extent of porn's effects. Kids who have never masturbated without porn have no idea how it is affecting them.”

Teens are left without an understanding of normal sexual behavior because they have been repeatedly exposed to the superstimuli of constant novelty and constant searching provided by Internet pornography. 

Lasting Effects of Internet Pornography Addiction at an Early Age

The very components that define Internet pornography—isolation, voyeurism, multiplicity, variety—also explain why online porn is more addictive and damaging than the pornography of yesterday. “There was a time when people looked at pornography in print magazines and some [viewers] were specifically drawn to it more than others,” psychotherapist Alexandra Katehakis told The Fix. “Then, over time, there was video pornography and that grabbed the brain differently than print did. Now, internet pornography is so powerful that it is literally rewiring the brains of men.” 

Young viewers are unintentionally training their bodies to become aroused by the unique conditions provided by internet pornography, explained Katehakis, who is also a certified sex addiction therapist and clinical director of the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles. “What happens is when these neuronal networks start to fire together, they become wired together,” she said. “With internet porn, the images are so incredibly powerful and visceral that it is shocking to the system and a person gets a massive dose of dopamine...over time, they need more and more [dopamine]."

While most of those who identify as having a pornography addiction are male, females are also susceptible and can experience lasting damage as well, Katehakis said. 

The same principles apply—sexual response is wired to what was learned by watching porn. For females, this can distort perceptions of validation, pleasure and their role in sex. “Parents need to have conversations with their kids,” Katehakis added. “They need to talk about what is the purpose of sex, what is the meaning of sex and why people have sex.” Without those conversations, teens move into adulthood without real knowledge of healthy relationships. “Later in life there may be intimacy problems, the inability to connect with another human being and the inability to maintain a long-term monogamous relationship,” she said.

Seeking Help for Pornography Addiction

The stigma surrounding pornography addiction—many treatment centers do not yet recognize it—leads many of the afflicted to feel isolated and depressed which can heighten the need for the feel-good response triggered by the addiction itself. 

The simplest treatment may also be the hardest. “The most important thing to do is to stop looking at it,” Katehakis said. “For the young men we've treated, they literally have to go on a porn diet for three to five months to get an erection again.”

“Also, stopping looking at images isn't enough,” she continued. “Often a person can find himself still looking at images in his head. Some people can look at [pornography] like some people can have a glass of wine and not have another, while other people can really never look at it again.”

Centers which treat sex addiction will often also treat pornography addiction, although the two are very different: pornography involves pixels and not another human being.

“The main thing that the general population needs to understand is that [pornography] can really become a bon-a-fide addiction and to not underestimate the potential impact of this on a teen's life,” Bulkley said. Teens who are addicted to online pornography may show symptoms such as increased time spent in isolation, increased time spent viewing technological devices, changes in attitude or behavior such as hypersexual language or dress and decreased focus in school and other activities. 

Counselors at the Youth Pornography Addiction Center in Utah help teens reset their thinking by uncovering the underlying issues that existed before or were aggravated by the addiction. "An addiction is a coping mechanism,” Bulkley explained. “Rather than solving the problem, they turn to this temporary escape.” Helping teens create an action plan to identify problems and how to overcome urges is one formula used for outpatient counseling at Bulkley's center.

For more intensive treatment, the center also has a wilderness program where teens “detox” from not only technology and internet pornography, but also from the highly sexualized images that are prevalent everywhere from bus bench advertisements to cosmetic product packaging. 

However, as with many things, problems can be averted early on by having conversations with your family, Bulkley said. “Parents need to understand, like it or not, kids are going to be exposed to pornography...You can do everything you can to protect them, but with the sexualization of our culture and the ease of access, it's not if, it's when.”

“It's about having an ongoing conversation with your kids,” Bulkley continued, “and it really has to be an early discussion and ongoing dialogue that continues through their growing-up years.”

Sarah Peters has written for the Los Angeles Times, The Daily Pilot and the California Health Report. This is her first story for The Fix.


Non-prescription Viagra has infiltrated the bedrooms of today’s young black men (2016). Urology professor David B. Samadi & Muhammed Mirza, MD founder of

Comments: Article contains quotes from two well known medical doctors concerning porn-induced sexual problems. Excerpts:

According to, evidence increasingly suggests that erectile dysfunction may be one of the side effects of men’s fascination with porn, and it also may be turning into a more common problem of men’s sexual health.

“Due to the pornography available on the Internet, we are finding out that this type of sex dysfunction is a real entity,” said David B. Samadi, MD, chairman of the urology department and chief of robotic surgery at Lenox Hill Hospital in New York City. “It is a problem in the brain, not the penis.”

To some extent, porn-related ED can affect anyone, but Dr. Samadi said he sees it mainly in younger men who are in their teens and early 20s.

Benchmark research from the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health in Baltimore found that about 18 million American men have ED, meaning they’re unable to achieve or maintain an erection sufficient for sexual intercourse. The problem can be physical, relating to blocked blood flow to the penis; psychological; or a combination.

“Most of the time, chronic disease, such as heart disease or diabetes, contributes to erectile dysfunction, but in my particular practice, I will say 15 to 20 percent of the erectile dysfunction I see is related to porn consumption,” said Muhammed Mirza, MD, an internist based in Jersey City, N.J., and the founder of

It’s not necessarily how much porn a person watches. The type can also play a role, Samadi said. Unlike the soft-core porn images seen in such magazines as Playboy or Penthouse, online pornography is generally more graphic and often depicts kinky, deviant, or even violent behavior. It’s also available 24/7.

Porn can lead to unrealistic expectations that increase a person’s tolerance for sex. Samadi likened the phenomenon to what occurs when someone consistently drinks more and more alcohol. Eventually, that person has a harder time feeling inebriated. The same happens with porn and sexual performance.

Link to article

Prostitutes & Non-Prescription Viagra Causing A Spike in STDs Among Elderly Black Men

“Non-prescription Viagra, commonly known as a male-enhancement drug for the elderly, has infiltrated the bedrooms of today’s black men (young and old).”

May 19, 16 by Cory Alexander Haywood

*Clinton O’Neal is a genetic marvel. He’s nearly 6 feet 4 inches in height, his physique consists of layer upon layer of hulking muscle and is devoid of visible bodyfat. He also wears a size 14 shoe, so you know what that means. According to a handful of his past lovers, each of whom asked to be kept anonymous, Mr. O’Neal is the proud owner of a big, brown…fudge sickle. It’s his most prized possession aside from the multigenerational collection of pornography he has tucked away in his closet.

In the past, whenever an opportunity arose for O’Neal to pleasure himself, he would gleefully dig into his special treasure trove of erotic films and pull out footage from the modern era as well as those from previous decades, starting with the conquests of 1970s porn-king “Big” John Holmes. On occasion, Clinton would scour the web for material, mostly Asian, and mostly Lesbian. However usually, his cravings were satisfied by old recordings of golden-haired Jane Fonda types being “jackhammered” to oblivion by their well-endowed counterparts. Some of these men, one in particular, resemble Clinton in appearance—and girth, a whopping 9 inches of pure Mandingo power.

As far as male pornstars go, Clinton’s muse is a veteran porker whose glistening, shaved head and chiseled frame can be seen in dozens of films, more than 24 hours worth. “My favorite porn star is Wesley Pipes,” explained O’Neal with adulation in his eyes. “He [Pipes] has gone through every kind of woman—white, Hispanic, Asian, black…his d*** could be an ambassador for the United Nations.”

Clinton’s appetite for watching adult movies was nearly on par with his desire to engage in the real thing. He’d regularly forgo meet-ups with female acquaintances in exchange for solitary moments on his sofa, or in his bed, while the acoustics of premeditated ecstasy oozed from his television. The severity of Clinton’s pornography-fetish eventually morphed into a supersized problem. One night, after splitting an entire bottle of Don Julio tequila, he and a voluptuous guest succumbed to their primal inclinations. “I whipped out my Jimmy and was ready to go,” recalled O’Neal. “I started with a bang, but it wasn’t long before my cannon turned into a noodle. She kept saying, ‘deeper,’ ‘deeper,’ but I couldn’t hold my erection. I kept thinking, bit*h, I can’t go [any] deeper.”

O’Neal continued, “She tried getting it up. She used her mouth, her hands—she even jacked me off with her feet to get it [his penis] back up [erect]. When all that didn’t work, she picked up her clothes and marched out the door. She didn’t even bother to put her panties back on—the ho was practically naked. [I] haven’t seen her since.

“That ordeal really messed with my head. I would watch porn, even my favorites, and I couldn’t get hard. I turned the key but my engine wouldn’t start. It was alarming because in high school, my d**k would get so hard that it was painful. For a while, that stopped. The most vivid thing I can remember from that night is her calling me a ‘shrimp d**k nigga’ before she walked out of my crib.”

This embarrassing moment prompted O’Neal’s decision to experiment with Viagra and other penis-enlargement products. He initially resisted the prospect of soliciting outside help to solve a very personal problem. But eventually his ego was usurped by a mounting fear that at some point he would again experience the humiliation of a woman’s eyes glazing over in response to his “deflated” genitals. Rather than relying on late-night infomercials and Google, O’Neal made the practical choice of consulting a physician’s expertise in regard to the effects of Viagra. He assumed the meeting would end with a doctor’s note prescribing that he receive a brand new set of shiny, blue pills. What ultimately transpired, however, was an impromptu lecture about the myths behind erectile dysfunction as well as those regarding the influence that race has on the size of a man’s sexual organs.

Clinton’s physician—bespectacled and gray-haired—assured him that most adult males, regardless of their nationality, are equipped with plumbing that on average ranges from 5-7 inches in length. However, a man’s girth, the doctor explained, typically “varies from one patient to the next.”

In a study conducted at the Nnamdi Azikiwe University Teaching Hospital (Nnewi, Nigeria), a group of 115 adult males were examined to once and for all determine whether there’s a correlation between penis size and race. The results were compared with reported similar main studies on males of other ethnicities, which were accessible to the authors. Examinations were performed in various cities across the globe, including Italy, Greece, Korea, Britain, and the United States of America. In conclusion, the mean full-stretch penile length of Blacks was the largest (13.37cm) and the mean flaccid length was 9.36cm.

“This aspect, if anything, is what separates the men from the boys,” O’Neal’s physician explained half-jokingly. “Length plays a minimal role in giving a women sexual pleasure. If I can make a food reference, when a woman is hungry for intercourse, she won’t be satisfied with beef jerky. She’ll need a porterhouse steak.”

“Tell your girlfriend that she’s lucky to have what you’ve got. It’s by no means inadequate. But watching too much porn has the potential to delay, or in some cases, impair a man’s ability to have erections, even if he’s in the company of an affectionate woman. You may be struggling with that problem.”

According to, evidence increasingly suggests that erectile dysfunction may be one of the side effects of men’s fascination with porn, and it also may be turning into a more common problem of men’s sexual health.

“Due to the pornography available on the Internet, we are finding out that this type of sex dysfunction is a real entity,” said David B. Samadi, MD, chairman of the urology department and chief of robotic surgery at Lenox Hill Hospital in New York City. “It is a problem in the brain, not the penis.”

To some extent, porn-related ED can affect anyone, but Dr. Samadi said he sees it mainly in younger men who are in their teens and early 20s.

Benchmark research from the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health in Baltimore found that about 18 million American men have ED, meaning they’re unable to achieve or maintain an erection sufficient for sexual intercourse. The problem can be physical, relating to blocked blood flow to the penis; psychological; or a combination.

“Most of the time, chronic disease, such as heart disease or diabetes, contributes to erectile dysfunction, but in my particular practice, I will say 15 to 20 percent of the erectile dysfunction I see is related to porn consumption,” said Muhammed Mirza, MD, an internist based in Jersey City, N.J., and the founder of

It’s not necessarily how much porn a person watches. The type can also play a role, Samadi said. Unlike the soft-core porn images seen in such magazines as Playboy or Penthouse, online pornography is generally more graphic and often depicts kinky, deviant, or even violent behavior. It’s also available 24/7.

Porn can lead to unrealistic expectations that increase a person’s tolerance for sex. Samadi likened the phenomenon to what occurs when someone consistently drinks more and more alcohol. Eventually, that person has a harder time feeling inebriated. The same happens with porn and sexual performance.

Most likely, a case of porn-overload is what caused O’Neal, then 27 years old, to experience his first bout of ED on that fateful night in his apartment.

“Every now and then I get flashbacks of her yawning while I tried to regain my composure,” he joked. “I’m hung like a horse, but it didn’t want leave the stable.

“It doesn’t help that women expect black men to have big d*icks. It’s a cultural thing, and if we can’t deliver, they [women] lose respect for us as men. All you have to do is listen to music these days. Rihanna, Nicki Minaj, even Beyonce, they all write lyrics about how they can only be satisfied by a certain size. Other women hear that crap and it influences their expectations of how sex is supposed to feel, and how big a nigga’s d**k should be. It’s a lot of added pressure. Some guys believe they need an extra boost to get the job done. For a while, that’s how I felt, and I aint small.”

Looking for a quick fix to exorcise his demons of self-doubt, O’Neal woke up one morning and made a beeline for his laundry room. Like a man possessed, he rummaged through a heap of stale clothes, hoping to locate a pair of jeans containing a business card given to him three months earlier by an underground pharmacist.

“He calls himself the Dick Doctor,” O’Neal explained with a sheepish grin. “I met him through a co-worker. Before that, I wasn’t aware of how many young guys, especially black guys, were taking this stuff. He had all kinds of pills and sold them out the trunk of his car and for cheap. The pills had names like “Black Gorilla,” “Kangaroo” and “Sea Monster” — they were all supposed to make your d*** swell up. I played it safe and chose Viagra. I figured that if senior citizens could use it without dying, there wouldn’t be much risk for me.”

Viagra (sildenafil), and other prescription drugs created to improve male performance, relaxes muscles found in the walls of blood vessels and increases blood flow to particular areas of the body. It was synthesized by a group of pharmaceutical chemists working at Pfizer’s Sandwich, Kent, research facility in England. The little blue pill, as its often called, was initially studied for use in hypertension (high blood pressure) and angina pectoris (a symptom of ischaemic heart disease). Viagra was patented in 1996, approved for use in erectile dysfunction by the FDA on March 27, 1998, becoming the first oral treatment approved to correct erectile dysfunction in the United States, and offered for sale in the United States later that year. It soon became a great success: annual sales peaked in 2008 at US$1.934 billion.

Viagra is certainly the major player in regards to enhancement drugs, but senior citizens today have access to numerous alternatives including brands like Cialis, Levitra, and ExtenZe. That’s right, as I type these words, thousands of old men across the country are slapping Father Time in the face with their scientifically-hardened ding-a-lings. This phenomenon is due to medical science extending the human shelf life, which means people aren’t spending their twilight years hunched over a bowl of porridge — they’re actually living…and having sex. A new study finds up to 54 percent of elderly men and 31 percent of elderly women report having sex at least twice a month. With all these old bodies rubbing together in ecstasy, it’s no wonder why the market is saturated with an overabundance of “boner medicine.” But there’s a catch, most insurance companies aren’t willing to shell out the hundreds of dollars it costs to purchase Viagra and other impotence-fighting supplements. When it comes to buying 10 Viagra tablets of 100mg each, costs are as follows at each of these chain pharmacies:

  • CVS: $446.99 ($44.70 per tablet),
  • Walgreens: $420.99 ($42.10 per tablet),
  • Walmart: $421.20 ($42.12 per tablet).

To avoid breaking the bank, a growing number of middle-aged and elderly men are opting to acquire medication like Viagra through illegal means. In a classic case of supply and demand, the outpouring of concern over these high-priced prescription drugs has given rise to several underground pharmacies, particularly within the confines of inner-city Los Angeles. In the parking lot of a Winchell’s Donut shop (located on Florence and Main St.), a street dealer has made a living for the past 6 years by selling Viagra illegally to African American males of a certain age. He believes his hustle provides a service to seniors, many seeking excitement in their golden years, unwilling to submit to the mundane activity of languishing in a dayroom with other elderly peers. Asking to be kept anonymous, the dealer, who for the sake of this article will be given the name Charlie, has cultivated a sizable roster of horny clients, mainly old geezers looking to get “that feeling” back. He sells his (presumably stolen) merchandise at such a low cost, you’d think its the1980s and that he’s pushing crack cocaine. His rates are as follows: 10 mg ($5), 20 mg ($15), and 50 mg ($25).

One of the regulars and a fellow entrepreneur who has also set up shop at Winchell’s selling single cigarettes considers Charlie a predator of the elderly.

“That motherf*cka is preying on old men, he takes their pension money selling them Viagra so they can get young hookers,” said 60-year-old Terrance Brown, a retired city worker. “He needs to be selling condoms to his customers before they catch something. Most of the prostitutes out here have STDs.”

Ironically, emerging reports suggest an increase in HIV and AIDS diagnosis among elderly black men across the country. In many cases, they transfer these diseases (and others) to their wives or significant others, who at a certain age see little to no reason for using contraceptives. According to Ellen A.B. Morrison, a researcher at Columbia University Mailman School of Public Health, the greatest rise in geriatric AIDS cases have been among elderly persons of color,  This “alleged” phenomenon is clearly a sign of the times, where society’s culture of self-satisfaction often overrules logic and personal safety. On the bright side, however, if an old man (or young buck) in Los Angeles is suffering from ED, all he has to do is make a stop at Winchell’s on Florence and Main St., where Viagra is cheaper than a glazed donut.



Nurse wants residents to talk about erectile dysfunction. Lesley Mills, a consultant nurse in sexual dysfunction (2016)

It's Valentine's Day and a consultant nurse at Warrington Hospital wants to get residents talking about erectile dysfunction. February 14 is traditionally seen as a day for romantics, but scores of men across Warrington will experience trouble in the bedroom today.

Lesley Mills, a consultant nurse in sexual dysfunction at Warrington Hospital, says the problem can be psychological as much as it is physical.

She said: “You have people with a physical problem and then the psychological factor as well.

“There was a big campaign about if your waist circumference is over 40 inches for every inch above you have a much bigger increase in getting erectile dysfunction.

“If you can be healthier or do exercise it can prevent you from developing that.

“You will always have a psychological factor – if you think I didn’t get an erection the last time I tried the next time that will be in your mind.

“It’s about educating people to understand and teaching people how to get over those psychological influences.

“In Warrington we have a psycho-sexual counsellor at Bath Street and they provide psycho-sexual counselling for couples and individuals which some areas don’t have.”

Sexual dysfunction can be a signal of more serious underlying health problems, as Lesley explained.

Around 40 per cent of men over the age of 40 will experience erectile dysfunction, and in people with underlying condition the number shoots up.

She said: “Erectile dysfunction is almost a red flag now – if someone goes into their GP with erection problems they will automatically check them for heart disease, diabetes and their blood pressure because it’s a precursor for that.”

Lesley’s patients have ranged from 18 to as old as 92, and she says that internet pornography has become a big factor in increasing levels of erectile dysfunction in younger people.

She said: “I do a lot of teaching around sexual dysfunction and 10 years ago I wouldn’t even mention porn, whereas now it is a really big factor.

“Young people tend to think that that’s what normal sex is and it isn’t necessarily – it’s almost taking it back to romance, it isn’t is about hardcore sex that a lot of young people think is normal.

“I get young lads coming in who can’t get an erection because they’re so used to watching porn that they can’t have one in front of their partner because they’re desensitized.”

Erectile dysfunction can cause serious confidence issues in both patients and their partners.

Lesley, who has worked at Warrington Hospital for 19 years, added: “You see people who will avoid relationships or trying to get into a relationship because they know that they have a physical problem and it puts a barrier up.

“It’s sometimes about getting their confidence back that they can get an erection and that’s where psycho-sexual counselling comes in as well.

“I see so many couples and it could be a major problem for the partner but not for the patient – so many people come in and say my husband’s gone off me and it’s not necessarily about that.”


14th February 2016, By Adam Everett

Online Porn: Fastest growing addiction in the U.S. Sex addiction therapist, Chris Simon (2017)

Link to article: Pornography addiction grips young Americans, compared to crack cocaine

Molly Hendrickson, May 23, 2017

DENVER — Porn addiction is the fastest growing addiction in our country, and one of the most hidden.

"This thing doesn't go away, it's like cancer in the brain, but it's cancer in the thoughts," said a recovering porn addict who asked to be called Joe, as he didn't want to reveal his identity to the public. "You need darker things, harder things, more violent things often."

For this addict, the seed was planted when he was in 6th grade and watched an R-rated movie. Over time, his addiction slowly escalated.

"I know that in our society, it's not understood how detrimental it really is. It destroys the mind, it destroys the ability to function, you can't look at women in the same way," Joe said.

Pornography is often compared to crack-cocaine. Nobody knows that better than certified sex addiction therapist, Chris Simon. 

"That's really why I have this treatment center is to help people who have my similar experience," Simon said.

Simon founded Denver's Restorations Therapy Center in 2014 after battling his own pornography addiction. He said most parents don't realize the biggest users are kids between the ages of 12 and 17 with their first exposure averaging around 8-years-old.

"The pornography industry is really out to get kids hooked on it at an early age because they know that's when they're most pliable, they're most easily influenced because of their brain development," Simon said.

That's where it all starts, the brain. Watching internet porn floods your brain with dopamine and opioids, drugs that makes you feel good; and you can keep it high for prolonged periods of time, with the click of a mouse.

"It was intoxicating, it was like all my pain, all of my self-hatred, all of that was muted, was gone as soon as I looked at pornography, it was like it all washed away," Joe described.

Joe said that feeling of relief was always temporary and was always followed with feelings of guilt and shame.

"Shame is the reason the addiction continues and becomes stronger as time goes on because you don’t want anyone to know," Joe described.

"Rather than developing healthy coping skills, they learn to go to pornography and those difficult feelings will go away, they'll numb out," said Simon. 

For Joe, that false sense of freedom from his depression, ultimately chained him to his addiction. You see, viewing porn over time, causes your brain to form new neuropathways. The more you view it, the stronger those pathways become. That flood of dopamine in your brain, overloads your receptors and eventually you need harder stuff and more of it to get the same high.

"This is the exact same experience heroin addicts have when they talk about chasing the first high," said Simon.

Simon said the earlier a child starts watching online porn, the worse the consequences. Multiple studies show porn users struggle to keep relationships, are unhappy with their partners, have low libido and often prefer porn over sexual relationships with a person. Experts like Simon, are seeing a new phenomenon; porn induced erectile dysfunction, or PIED and it's skyrocketing for men in their 20's. 

"Medications for ED don't actually work that well because it's not about a physical response. The body works fine, it's about an emotional response," said Simon. "Reality just can't compare."

Pornography addiction doesn't just effect men. Simon said more women are watching porn and he's seeing a big increase in women needing treatment for online porn addiction.

There is hope. Therapists like Simon said the first step is quitting porn altogether, something that's known in the recovery world as "rebooting." This allows your brain to form new, healthier neuropathways. It can take anywhere from 3 months to 3 years depending on how often the person was watching internet pornography.

"That is the real power of the pornography addiction. Those neuropathways, get built so strongly and so engrained, it takes months even years to recreate bigger ones, so that those are no longer primary," Simon said.

Simon also recommends getting rid of any visual stimulus that could trigger a relapse, like Facebook, Instagram and dating sites like Tinder and Bumble. Simon said make sure your therapist is a certified sexual addiction therapist and recommends group therapy like sex addicts anonymous.

Simon said parents should begin talking to their kids in an age-appropriate way about sex and intimacy beginning as early as age 6. Parents should talk to older children about what is and isn't appropriate to see online and look into putting parental control software on their kids' electronic devices.    

Joe said the addiction isn't something many can beat on their own without help. 

"We don’t understand the ramifications of porn on the brain. I know what it feels like but I don’t know how deep it goes, I don’t understand the roots to why it’s so addicting, I don’t understand any of that. A therapist is required to obtain sobriety. A 12-step group, a support group is required to have friends who understand you. These are tools that have to be in place for it to work."

Joe has now been in recovery and clean from internet pornography for 7 months. He said the urges to watch porn are still there, but he's learning new, healthier ways to cope with his depression.

"I stepped into that 12-step group and I stopped falling. It was like that. It saved my life," Joe said.

If you or a loved one is struggling with pornography addiction, here are some resources to get help:


Online Videos Causing IRL Erectile Problems? by Andrew Smiler PhD


November 19, 2014 by

Andrew Smiler discusses a straightforward and often effective solution to adult video-induced erectile difficulties.

NSFW: This article contains adult themes and frank discussion of human sexuality and health.*

Jim came to me for therapy because he was having a hard time getting it up during sex. I asked him what he thought was causing the problem, and he said it was porn. He told me that he’d been cruising online porn sites for about a year, since his last relationship ended. Jim didn’t think he was looking at that much porn, but he couldn’t figure out what else it might be. He knew it wasn’t alcohol or pot, because he also problems getting hard when he was sober.

Jim could get it up during sex, but it usually took a lot of effort from both him and his partner. He rarely “just got hard” the way he used to. Now, he needed a few minutes of “direct penile stimulation” as it’s called in the jargon. That means his partner would need to play with or suck his cock before he’d get hard. And we’re not talking just a bad night every now and again, but almost every time he had sex.Neither Jim nor his current partner were happy about it. He’d also had problems when he hooked up with strangers.

Jim and I worked through the following three steps. They’re fairly simple, but the first one can be very difficult. This is becoming one of the common treatments for guys who are having difficulty getting an erection because they’re watching too much porn.

Let me be clear about two things before we start. One is that the problem we’re addressing isn’t watching too much porn, the problem is jerking off to porn too frequently. I’m not saying that porn is good or problem free; that’s a different conversation. What we’re going to deal with here is erectile dysfunction due to jerking off to porn too often for too long, say at least 5 times per week for the last 6 months. The result is that you’ve (re)trained your system and created a particular set of muscle memory for what causes an erection.  In essence, this is the same training that helps a quarterback throw a perfect spiral every time, allows a carpenter to saw a straight line with regular strokes, and allows a chef to make cut veggies quickly into even slices.

I’m making an assumption that you do not have any health problems that might contribute to an erectile problem. That’s more common than you’d expect for guys at midlife and beyond, but it’s pretty rare among 20- and even 30-somethings. Conditions that contribute to erectile dysfunction include anything that effects blood pressure, like hypertension and heart problems, many disorders that make it hard to breath, like COPD and lung problems (but not most forms of asthma), and obesity. If you suffer from one of these conditions, or even if you haven’t had a physical in years, you  should get checked out by your doctor.

I’m also making an assumption that at some point, your ability to get turned on and get hard used to function properly with another live person, or at least your imagination and your hand. If you’ve been masturbating to porn since the early days of getting a stiffy, you may need more serious treatment with a therapist who specializes in sexual disorders. What I’m recommending here may not work for you because it’s trying to take  you back to a place you’ve never been to.

As with any medical advice you find online, this treatment may not apply to you or be effective for you. For the best possible treatment, you should consult either a sex therapist or another medical professional.

Here’s the plan. It’ll take approximately three months before you (re)gain normal functioning.

Step 1. Stop watching and jerking off to porn. Yes, really. You – your body – needs to unlearn what you’ve been teaching it every day for the last however long its been. And lets face it, you’re not watching porn for the plot, dialog, or cinematography, you’re watching it as a masturbatory aid. Find something else to do with that, what, 20? 30? 60? minutes of your time. The important thing here is that you start to break the connection between seeing all those naked bodies and getting a hard-on.

I also want you not to jerk off for a month. Yes, a month. Really. Again, this is part of breaking the connection and resetting your system.  In essence, you’re giving your sexual arousal system a month off from masturbation. If you’re having sex with someone else, you can keep going, just don’t have sex with yourself.

Step 2. After you’ve gone a month without porn and without jerking off (and especially without pulling your pud to porn), you can start to masturbate again. Don’t do it every day, try to go three or four days between sessions. You need to start slowly, just like an athlete returning from an injury.

Use your imagination and play with your whole body, the same way a partner might touch you.

Do NOT start watching porn again. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Instead, use your imagination and play with your whole body, the same way a partner might touch you. After all, getting turned on is about more than your dick. You don’t need to take a hot bath, light a bunch of a candles, and play some Barry White, but if that’s your thing, go for it. This is “me time” after all.

In all seriousness, it’s very important that you don’t jerk off to porn at this point. When you were watching porn, it was all about what you saw on screen and what your hand did in your lap. With a live partner, you may – or may not – keep your eyes open and you’re certainly going to be touched. By closing your eyes and imagining sex, and especially by touching various parts of your body, you can help retrain your body to feel aroused by your sense of touch instead of your sense of sight.

Believe it or not, jerking off this way might be challenging at first. You might discover that you can only do it in certain positions or that only some of your fantasies are arousing. For example, you might find that the easiest – or only – way to get hard is to be in exactly the same place you were in when you were watching porn: seated at a desk or maybe lying on your back on your bed. That’s ok. This is training, after all, and it’s important to get the basics right.

If things are going alright after two weeks of masturbation, change your motion. The build up to orgasm comes from the motion. Jerking off to porn is usually about the motion of your hand, but sex with a partner is usually about the motion of your hips. Instead of moving your hand back and forth around your cock, start using your hips to push your penis into your hand.

Another thing to start trying after two weeks of successful masturbation is to stop part way through.  Get hard, count slowly to 10 with your hand off your cock, then continue. If you stay hard, then count to 15 or even 20 next time. If you lose your hard quickly, then count to 5 next time. This is important because when you’re with a partner, you need to be able to stay hard long enough to put on a condom or change positions.

Step 2 can take as little as 3 weeks and as long as 6 weeks. You must spend at least 3 weeks in step 2; this is training and training takes time. If you’re not having success after 6 weeks, consult a professional. If things are starting to work properly after 6 weeks, move on to the next step.

Step 3. After you’ve been jerking off for two to three times per week for a month, and you’re still not watching porn, it’s time to add some variety. Variety is the spice of life, after all, and it certainly helps make for a more interesting sex life. It’s time to change it up.

If you’ve only been masturbating in one position, try something else. Sit, stand, lie down (back or belly), get on all fours, whatever. Get hard, stop, get a condom and put it on, then continue, just like you would in real life.

Your masturbation – or rather, practice – should be more like real sex and less like sitting in front of a screen.

Here in month three, your masturbation – or rather, practice – should be more like real sex and less like sitting in front of a screen and petting your snake.

That’s it guys. If this doesn’t work, and if you’ve really worked the program, you need to consider other possibilities. One is that you have a physical condition and need to see a medical doctor. Another possibility is that you need to see an individual therapist to work through some issues regarding sexuality. A third possibility is that you and your partner may need to see a couples therapist because you’re not able to get hard with this partner.

About Andrew Smiler - Andrew Smiler, PhD is a therapist, evaluator, author, and speaker residing in Winston-Salem, North Carolina (USA). He is the author of “Challenging Casanova: Beyond the stereotype of promiscuous young male sexuality” and co-author, with Chris Kilmartin, of “The Masculine Self (5th edition)”. He is a past president of the Society for the Psychological Study of Men and Masculinity and has taught at Wake Forest University and SUNY Oswego. Dr. Smiler's research focuses on definitions of masculinity. He also studies normative aspects of sexual development, such as age and perception of first kiss, first “serious” relationship, and first intercourse among 15-25 year olds. Follow him @AndrewSmiler.  - See more at:


PDF of a lecture by Carlo Foresta, urology professor (2014)

Dr. Carlo Foresta is a urology professor, president of the Italian Society of Reproductive Pathophysiology, and author of some 300 academic studies. Foresta has been investigating the effects of porn use on young people for several years. In the following 2014 lecture (pgs. 45 - 79) Foresta discusses studies and surveys showing strong relationships between porn use and sexual problems. Articles from Italian press

The Lecture - Project ANDROLIFE: Health & Sex

The lecture contains the results of longitudinal and cross-sectional studies. One study involved a survey of high school teens (pages 52-53). The study reported that sexual dysfunction doubled between 2005 and 2013, with low sexual desire increasing 600%.

  • The percentage of teens that experienced alterations of their sexuality: 2004/05: 7.2%, 2012/13: 14.5% (pictured below
  • The percentage of teens with low sexual desire: 2004/05: 1.7%, 2012/13: 10.3% (that's a 600% increase in 8 years)

Foresta also mentions his upcoming study, "Sexuality media and new forms of sexual pathology sample 125 young males, 19-25 years". Italian name - "Sessualità mediatica e nuove forme di patologia sessuale Campione 125 giovani maschi"

Below are some of the results from the study which used the International Index of Erectile Function Questionnaire to compare 4 domains of sexuality between porn users and infrequent users (pages 77-78). Dr. Foresta circled the sexual desire domain where he found that regular porn users scored 50% lower than infrequent users. So much for the claim that heavy porn uses have higher sexual desire.

Also notice the disparity in erectile function scores between porn users and non users. I'll add that this questionnaire is not ideal, and may be understating porn's effects as guys could still masturbate to porn for their "sexual activity". We also don't know if he was asking both virgins and sexually active young men, or those who were sexually active only. Obviously, most virgins don't realize they have a sexual dysfunction until they attempt sex with a partner, so their inclusion would lower rates.

NOTE: To understand the scores in the box below, read this link: International Index of Erectile Function Questionnaire. The scores below are not percentages. Maximum scores on the items the study measured range from 30 to 10, depending upon the item. Foresta circled sexual desire highlighting


Dr. Foresta Interview where he discuses the above findings and more


Article with Foresta

Teens regular consumers of spinels and cyber sex

  • One in two regularly smoking marijuana.
  • And 8 out of 10 are connected to porn sites

By Elisa Fais

December 1, 2014

Alcohol, marijuana and cyber-sex: young Paduan can not help it. New and worrying habits were photographed by the project andrology permanent "Androlife", now running for ten years. The survey of almost 1,500 students olds revealed that over 70% had tried at least once to smoke a joint. Among these, only 40% admit to taking marijuana or hashish less than once a month, while 48% regularly and 12% daily. Ten years ago, in 2004, the frequency of intake by young people was much lower: 72% claimed to make use of soft drugs less than once a month.

Over the years remains high and the same number of young people who say they drink alcohol but doubles the number of those who like to raise the elbow on weekends.

But the youth of the third millennium, immersed in the world of technology and the web, spend hours surfing on pornographic sites to explore the little known world of sexuality. Eight out of ten teens connect to porn sites and more than half do it more than once a week. "When the frequency of access to pornographic sites become routine, 40% of young people report a change of perception in these sexual stimuli. This also results in a reduction or loss of sexual desire, "says the urologist Carlo Foresta, president of the Foundation.


Study: Low sexual desire and ejaculation disorders higher in young internet porn users

Urology professor Carlo ForestaUrology professor Carlo Foresta, President of the Italian Society of Reproductive Pathophysiology, has completed a study on 893 young people between 18 and 20. Low sexual desire and ejaculation disorders were higher in regular internet pornography users.

Marijuana users had the highest rates of disorders.

The data collected by the research team showed that 78% of young people regularly consumed porn online. 29% of respondents said they used internet porn at least monthly; 63% more than once a week and 8% accessed pornographic sites daily or even several times a day. Typically, a visit lasted approximately 20-30 minutes. 

10% of the young people felt they had become dependent on (addicted to) porn use. It appears that sexual behavior is compromised in about a quarter of those who use more than once a week.

Related links:

Dr. Foresta Interview (in Italian)

Podcast: Porn-induced erectile dysfunction (PIED). By world renowned urologist Dudley Danoff & Dr. Diana Wiley (2016)

Link to podcast

Dr. Dudley Danoff, MD, a world renowned urologist, returned to the program for the ninth time. His book is “The Ultimate Guide to Male Sexual Health – How to Stay Vital at Any Age” ( The main focus of this program was porn-induced erectile dysfunction (PIED). A growing number of young men are convinced that their sexual responses have been sabotaged because their (still developing) brains were virtually marinated in porn when they were teens. The result is often less arousal to sex with a real person. Porn is bad for sex.

Besides ED, men can have hang-ups about penis size, can experience PE, ejaculatory difficulties, and have unrealistic expectations. In addition, girls are learning the false notion that women’s sexuality exists for the benefit of men; all the while, learning little about what brings them pleasure. A helpful website is Listen to this program – and learn a lot! Dr. Danoff is always a wealth of information.

Porn Addiction, Porn Creep and Erectile Dysfunction (E.D.) By Billi Caine, B.Sc (Psych) RGN

"Porn creep" is defined as "a condition that results from the constant or excessive watching of pornographic material. It is characterised by an inability to get an erection under circumstances that do not involve the watching of pornographic material."

Erectile dysfunction (or E.D.) is the inability to develop or maintain an erection in males and is rampant in those with a pornography addiction in our Internet Age - far more so than was the case pre-Internet.

Disturbingly, what my 2 year research into porn addiction found over and over again was adult males who were not only virgins but who also suffered from extreme erectile dysfunction. Even more disturbing was that younger virgin males too - even those as young as 14 to 16 were also already suffering with erectile dysfunction.

Many males describe their "love lives" as being 100% pornography and that this had been the case since they first began porning when exposed to it in their younger years. These virgin men range in age from teenagers to men in their 30s. A few have sex dolls. One had 10 dolls yet had never touched a real live person. He was 20. Another virgin was 27, had erectile dysfunction and was being led to "total self destruction" masturbating with other people on webcams and also had never felt the sensual touch of another human being in the real world. Others were on Viagra yet still struggled to get or keep an erection.

One young man wrote "I'm 18 and a porn addict for a few years and have E.D. I started out watching straight porn, then lesbian porn, transgender porn, gay porn, bestiality, bondage, older women, young men and what have you. Am I gay? I've never ever felt any attraction to men before. I've even started going to the Ads. I don't know if it's due to the escalation or if I am secretly gay. It's eating me alive. I'm a virgin."

Sadly, many young men are caught in a catch 22 situation. They know their porn use is what is preventing them from getting into real live relationships yet are powerless to stop. This leads to cycles of extreme sadness, loneliness and often boredom which then drives them to do more porn which leads to more self loathing and helplessness. And so the cycle just keeps going round and around. One addict wrote "It's a catch 22. I've never had a girlfriend so I feel lonely and do porn - then porn stops me from getting a girlfriend." Another wrote "I always porn when I am depressed, sad, lonely, feeling rotten or feel that I will never get a girlfriend."

Still others delude themselves that a relationship will fix their pornography addiction and E.D. problems. One addict wrote "I'm 23 now and my porn addiction started very early. I hoped that when I got a girlfriend that I'd stop masturbating to porn and it would solve the problem. However, I did get her and my body wouldn't respond. It only wanted masturbation. It wanted me to sit in front of a computer watching porn. It's been the loss of that girlfriend due to my disease which has triggered my own realisation that I am a porn addict." Another addict wrote "Getting into a relationship will not "fix" my porn addiction. The fantasy is it will but it won't as relationships are separate altogether to porn addiction and most likely the porn addiction will doom the relationship anyway. This is similar to thinking getting into a relationship will fix any addiction. It won't."

Other males know a relationship will not fix their porn addiction and become used to not having relationships in their lives. One wrote "I began porn at 12. Am now 19 and never had a girlfriend or date in my life. My love life is 100% porn. I know porn is the reason I've never had a girlfriend. You just get used to porn and don't want to put the effort into getting a girlfriend. I also have no confidence either."

One 24 year old virgin wrote the following deeply sad testimony... "I lead a terrifying double life that alienates angers and depresses me. Normal sex with a female no longer stimulates my mind. I get E.D. immediately. I've never been erect enough to penetrate and hence why I am still technically a virgin. Just to even try and have sex I have to fantasize about porn. I now have extreme loneliness and a detachment from the rest of the world. For a while I thought I must be gay and even came out to a couple of people only to find sex with men even less stimulating. I masturbate 3-5 times daily - increasingly in VERY inappropriate places - work, people's houses, public bathrooms, airports, airplanes, restaurants, hotel rooms - you name it. The skin on my penis wears down causing immense pain that takes months to heal because I can't stop masturbating. If I have the "itch", I have to scratch it - no matter the setting. I stopped once for 13 days. Towards the end of that time, and for the first time since the beginning of puberty, the simple things about a woman turned me on - hair, smile, style etc. It was like a fog has been lifted. But on day 14, I relapsed and entered a major relapse and it was to be the darkest one yet. All that hope that I would be able to be with a woman vanished."

Other addicts have the same frustrations. One wrote "I'm a 24 year old virgin. Been doing porn for 4 years. My view on sex has been altered by porn to the point that I need porn in order to get aroused. Being with real women just doesn't arouse me. It's driving me crazy." Many men's stories are similar to this mans.

For those addicts who are not virgins and are - or have been - in relationships or marriages - their stories are equally as distressing. One wrote "Sometimes I will watch porn before having sex as it is the only way I can get aroused and in the mood but even then I can't keep an erection yet with porn I can no problem and can and do compulsively masturbate. Other than that I have no sex drive at all. I only ever have one night stands and never had a relationship where we were sexual on a continuous basis. I also masturbate VERY aggressively and VERY fast that is not replicable by a vagina."

Men have trained themselves - through masturbation such as this man described - to only respond to a grip tighter than any vagina is likely to be able to grip. The penis nerves become over stimulated so now the man cannot respond to more subtle sensations. And many porn addicted men are becoming to know this all too well. One wrote "The masturbation effect is greater than the normal effect of sex and why my body doesn't respond as it should. I can't perform."

One of the things which astounded me in my research was how the gay and straight loved ones of pornography addicts were always having to BEG their male partners for sex. This was unheard of pre-Internet and frankly more shocking in a way than a lot of things I came across in my research. Women NEVER had to beg men for sex pre-Internet. Quite the opposite in fact. It was often a running joke amongst females in particular how men were always hungry for sex and were a nuisance as a result and why the term "I can't have sex. I've got a headache" was born. A woman only had to briefly touch a man and he would get an erection and want sex immediately. Women, in the end, became hesitant to even touch their partners due to their constant desire and need for sex. With women, in the main, being like water and needing to be warmed up slowly sexually before they are ready for sex (it takes a womans vagina 20 minutes to become fully aroused ) verses men who are like fire and need dosing down, the imbalance was ever prevalent between the sexes and why men were, at times, "nuisances". Not any more it seems now we have the Internet and Internet pornography...

One man wrote "Sex with my wife is changing. I'm wanting to have sex with her less and less and want to be acting out my addiction more and more. She has commented that she frequently is the initiator of sex and I pretty much can never achieve an orgasm when I have sex with her. This has a compounding effect and I now seek orgasms exclusively from the pornography. I see my life slipping away and I see all the lost potential. I'm 26." Another man wrote "I've got erection problems with my wife and in general and find myself withdrawn and down a lot of the time. I stop using porn and the erection problems go away and I think I'm okay now and go back to porn and they start again. It's a vicious cycle."

Another man wrote "I can get an erection very very easily as soon as I power up my laptop but cannot get one when having sex the normal way (porn use has been heavy for 6 years). Also when in bed with my wife I have to think of porn scenes to help me get and keep an erection." Another addict wrote "I am a 28 year old gay porn addict. Porn filled my sexual needs when I didn't have a sexual partner. Now I've met a man and my problem is I can't get aroused when I am with him. I can only get aroused when I look at porn. I feel ashamed and a failure."

Porn addicted men constantly describe how their libido with their partners is almost completely destroyed due to their pornography addictions. One man wrote "I feel as if my sex drive has completely gone to sleep unless I awaken it by looking at hardcore porn." Another wrote "My porn and masturbation addiction has been going on for 16 years (since aged 13). Now when I try to have sex I lose arousal. I have a lot of suicidal thoughts." Another young man wrote "I have, for as long as I can remember, been unable to climax during intercourse. This makes sex frustrating for me. Yet I can compulsively masturbate to porn." Another wrote this common theme said over and over again in porn addicted people... "I find real sex disappointing and prefer doing porn to actual sex. It makes me cry though to think I would rather satisfy myself in front of a computer screen than with a gorgeous woman. It needs to end now."

Another addict wrote "I established high standards of fantasy due to porn intake and now nothing will live up to my expectations in the real world and I can't get aroused with normal sex." Another wrote "I can't get fully erect when I am with a partner. Sex is boring after so much fantasy." Another wrote "I don't feel the same high with real sex as I get from masturbating and porn." Another said "I get bored with normal sex unless the woman acts in a porn way." Another wrote "I've been addicted since aged 13-14. I've had sex 3 times - all with prostitutes and failed to keep an erection. I've never had a girlfriend."

Another addict wrote "I don't enjoy sex much. I've been addicted to porn most of my adult life. The advent of the Internet just made things tremendously worse." Another wrote "I see sex and porn as 2 different kinds of orgasms and after watching porn, it feels like I have to rewire my mind to be able to climax during sex. If I hadn't watched porn, I'd not have a problem climaxing."

Another addict wrote "I'm 22 and my libido is almost completely destroyed. I don't get turned on EVER anymore. It's just started to feel like glorified urination - even during masturbation." Another wrote "It's escalated to scat (faeces) and urine porn. I can't perform with real women and leave them wondering if there's something wrong with them (not intentionally) then go home and gross out to a nasty video where I am erect in a second - then I masturbate and go to sleep. This is typical. I just want a good healthy sex and emotional life."

Along the same theme, another addict wrote "It's progressed to scat porn and other extreme fetish stuff. I started doing porn at 11 (am now 27) and despite how attractive a girl was, I couldn't get a proper arousal." Another said "I always need more "forbidden" porn to maintain an erection and orgasm. I'm 26 and never had sex or a girlfriend."

This kind of testimony is written over and over and over again by pornography addicts. One wrote "I have weak erections now even while doing porn and can't stay erect." In response, this recovering man wrote this... "I had to constantly raise the bar to get my erections. The addiction makes you get bored very easily. I had to keep clicking until something triggered me to get erect. As you begin to stay away from porn, within even a month, normal erections return."

One tormented addict wrote "I plan to marry my partner but am scared I am already experiencing issues with being able to stay or even get aroused and am scared it will only get worse." Another addict wrote "My first sexual experience was very underwhelming after years of porn and masturbating. I'm technically still a virgin." Another wrote "I've been doing porn since I was 12 and had my first sexual experience today at 27. It was not as exciting as I thought it would be and I never ejaculated. Is this to do with my addiction?" Another wrote "When I had sex with a beautiful woman, I found it (after 2 years of not having sex) PLAIN. It felt like "Is this it?" The coupling effect of 2 years without a woman (my choice) and the desensitizing effect of porn I think is what did it to me. Having sex with her just felt like work and nowhere near as easy and pleasurable as sitting in my chair over my laptop."

Many addicts write time and time again that "It is easier to do porn than it is having sex. So is masturbation." Many men also write things along these lines... "I have intimacy issues. It's easier to reach out to porn than real people." Or... "I've started to watch hardcore stuff like humiliation. The more I watch porn, the less emotions I feel towards finding a girlfriend." Or... "Once I started Internet porn, my confidence around sex became so low I was almost afraid to do it. This still affects me today." Or... "I find cybersex safer than risking the drama of a real relationship. It's ruining my life though." Or... "I've been hooked on porn since I was 10 when I found my father's collection. I've been addicted ever since - 25 years. I've stayed somewhat single most of my adult life - an occasional date here and there. Magazines and videos were easier to have a relationship with than the real thing." Another wrote "Pornography was my first love/ lust. I viewed it before I'd even come into contact with a woman."

Along similar themes, another addict wrote "I've been watching porn since I was 12. I first found my uncle's magazines and since then could not put porn down. From when I was young I never felt girls found me attractive so my porn addiction enabled me not to care about cultivating meaningful and intimate relationships with females. I am now in my 20s and feel the constant pain of being alone. Only cynicism and hate fill my heart because of the deep void porn and masturbation addiction have thrown me into. My life is a sham. As I see my friends get married, have children and enjoy life, I sometimes feel like I want to kill myself."

Another deeply saddened addict wrote "As I ended up watching harder and nastier porn, my own sexuality became completely absent. What's worse is that I've never had a girlfriend or sex so it's confusing for me. I'm 18 and already feel like a 70 year old man who has erectile dysfunction. Now non-hardcore porn doesn't arouse me and I need riskier and riskier porn to get aroused. I now need really really hardcore and nasty perverted porn to arouse myself. Watching porn over the years has destroyed my whole sexuality. I've tried to quit but it's so hard. I feel ashamed because I really want to quit this whole shit once and for all. I want to have a NORMAL sexuality with a REAL girlfriend and REAL sex. I just have no idea how to get away from all this - every attempt to quit has failed."

Yet another young addict said "I opened my first bank account to buy webcam credit. I'm 18. Paying for a girl to get naked makes me feel terrible. I've now met a real girl but can't face cutting off web contact with this other girl on the webcam. When I get taken over again though I won't care and that's horrible. It's a pattern that just goes on and on and will only get worse. I know that."

If you carry on porning like you are doing, chances are you will never again experience the sensual touch of a real live human being - especially as Virtual Porn is about to be the next big thing in porn. Escape whilst you still can. Let Billi Caine show you how you can free yourself from the prison you are in and not only become a fully functioning sexual and sensual human being again but also how to have the best sex of your life. See

Article Source:

Porn Can Help A Relationship, But Proceed With Caution. Amanda Pasciucco LMFT, CST; Wendy Haggerty LMFT, CST (2016)

Love Notes: Porn Can Help A Relationship, But Proceed With Caution


The primary problem with porn is that it creates unrealistic expectations. Well, and other things.

Back when pornography meant getting a copy of Playboy from the convenience store down the street, we didn't hear too much about people with porn addictions or porn-induced erectile dysfunction.

(For a moment, please imagine what the search history on my laptop is going to look like by the time I finish writing this column. Yes, I had to look. The take away? The plot lines were pretty predictable, and the character development left a lot to be desired. )

But today, an infinite number of video clips can appear on your computer or smartphone with the click of a button. And while the easy access alone can lead to some of these problems, experts say it's the over-the-top sex scenes that can cause trouble in the bedroom.

Sex therapists report that when viewers allow themselves a steady diet of waxed, extremely pleased women, they can become disappointed when in contact with a non-professional naked person.

"There is a correlation between men watching pornography and their inability to become aroused with people in real life," says Amanda Pasciucco, a certified sex therapist in West Hartford. "They become desensitized and their partner can't compete. The bodies they see are not realistic."

I realize that pornography is fantasy and is not supposed to look like a typical loving relationship between two middle-aged people with back hair and drooping parts. But when fantasy is all an individual sees, it's easy to imagine trouble ahead,.

Pasciucco counsels couples of all ages, and says the way back to a good sexual relationship is to create fantasies together.

"Talk about what you can do to bring some of the fantasies they've seen to their own relationship," she says. "Get your mind excited about the person you're with."

Your mind? I thought we were talking about, um other organs.

But studies have shown that there's a big difference in the way the brain reacts to looking at a still picture and watching a video. Pasciucco suggests a 90-day porn fast to "reset the fantasy part of the brain."

Because of porn's easy access, new research estimates the average age that young men begin watching porn to be 12 years old. (But not your kids, and certainly not mine.)

"When people are using pornography as their sex education, that can lead to trouble," says Pasciucco.

Wendy Haggerty, a certified sex therapist with offices in Glastonbury, Guilford and West Hartford, says there are real concerns about pornography use by young people.

"Overuse has been shown to lead to social isolation and patterns of behavior that can negatively impact one's ability to form and sustain healthy relationships," she says. "Issues around integration of love and attachment with sex and pleasure may come into play. Body image and performance related issues are also potential consequences ."

But porn's not all bad in terms of marriages and relationships, Haggerty says.

"I can think of plenty of good examples where I've seen it benefit individuals and relationships. I've also witnessed some people have compulsions that need to be addressed," Haggerty said. "In balance, pornography can be inspiring and stimulating. A healthy use of erotic material can aid in self-loving practices and...sexual relationships."

The Boyfriend and I decided to test her theory , and watched some soft-core porn on Showtime. Aside from the impossibly round and immovable breasts, viewers aren't shown any private parts and the actors aren't actually engaging in sex. We got distracted by the bow-chicka-wow-wow music and ended up in a discussion of whether musicians creating music for porn films ever get a number one hit.

Haggerty offered specific examples of how pornography can help.

"A high desire partner may find that self-pleasuring with the aid of visual stimulus effectively satisfies his or her needs and takes the pressure off the lower desire partner to participate," Haggerty said. "In addition, a lower desire partner may choose to use pornography as a way to incite his or her sexuality and be more available for partner intimacy."

So, aside from the misogynistic nature of the majority of porn, and issues of addiction, and the bad things it can do to relationships, and the way it has created an entire generation of people spending lots of money on body waxing, pornography can possibly be a positive addition to a relationship (just not for those easily distracted by bad acting, and mediocre music).

Teresa M. Pelham is an author of the children's books "Roxy's Forever Home." For more:


Porn Causing Rise in Sexual Dysfunction (Urology professor David Samadi MD)

Sexual dysfunction among men under 40 is increasing, and the U.S. Navy thinks porn is to blame. In a new review published in Behavioral Sciences, Navy urologists, neuroscientists and psychiatrists report that 15 years ago erectile dysfunction rates were negligible (2 to 5 percent) in sexually active men under 40. Now, the research indicates that rates are as high as 30 percent in this same age group.

It's not that all these men are unable to achieve erections. Many experience sexual dysfunctions such as difficulty climaxing, low sexual desire, and sexual dissatisfaction during partnered sex.

The Navy scientists uphold that this rapid increase in sexual dysfunctions in men under 40 cannot be adequately explained by smoking, diabetes, obesity, or cardiovascular disease – factors commonly associated with such problems in older men. None of these factors have increased proportionately during this time period. What has changed since 2006 is the widespread availability of broadband connectivity and – as a direct consequence – streaming porn.

The paper suggests that viewing porn may be especially problematic for those who start using it during key developmental periods of puberty and adolescence. The research indicates that the younger the age at which men are first exposed to internet porn, the greater their preference for it over partnered sex, the less enjoyment they report from partnered sex, and the more porn they use. This pattern of usage suggests that internet porn may be conditioning sexuality in ways which show up as sexual dysfunctions during partnered sex and debilitating distress in some men.

The paper advances a theory that the motivational systems of porn-watchers' brains are assigning undue importance to porn. This, in turn, can set up what is called a "negative prediction error" when users engage in sex with a partner. If real sex, even with a desired partner, registers as disappointing in comparison with internet porn use, the sexual centers of the brain may not produce adequate neurochemical response to attain and maintain an erection or climax without difficulty.

The authors are calling for more research, “intervention studies,” which would qualify and quantify how risky watching internet porn is for some otherwise healthy users.

The study warns that healthcare providers should not automatically assume that poor mental health is the cause of otherwise unexplained sexual dysfunction in men under 40. They suggest that a man who can achieve and sustain a satisfactory erection and climax as desired when masturbating without using internet porn, and only has difficulty when with a partner, likely has just a classic case of "performance anxiety." If, however, he cannot sustain an erection and climax without internet porn, the authors suggest the dysfunction is likely related to watching internet porn. The authors caution that false diagnoses of “performance anxiety” run the risk of prescribing needless psychoactive medications and phosphodiesterase-5 inhibitors, such as Viagra® or Cialis®. 

Original article

Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction: What the Experts are Saying (The Porn Effect)

sad guyI've put this article together for two reasons: First, if you're a male trying to break free from porn, one really potent, self-interested argument for why you should stop is that you may develop porn induced erectile dysfunction.

Not the most noble reason to quit, but hey, it's a start. The second reason is for those of you who are wanting to convince others about the negative effects of porn from a non-religious perspective. Each of the ten quotes and findings I present here are footnoted at the bottom for your convenience. I'd like to thank my good friend, Clay Olson from Fight The New Drug for pointing me to some of these findings.

10 Findings by Experts

1. “It’s hard to know exactly how many young men are suffering from porn-induced ED. But it’s clear that this is a new phenomenon, and it’s not rare.” [1] - Dr. Abraham Morgentaler, Clinical Professor of Urology at the Harvard Medical School  

2. I can tell how much porn a man watches as soon as he starts talking candidly about any sexual dysfunction he has. . . . A man who masturbates frequently can soon develop erection problems when he’s with his partner. Add porn to the mix, and he can become unable to have sex. . . . A penis that has grown accustomed to a particular kind of sensation leading to rapid ejaculation will not work the same way when it’s aroused differently. Orgasm is delayed or doesn’t happen at all.” [2] - Dr. Harry Fisch, Clinical Professor of Urology at Weill Cornell Medical College

3. “It starts with lower reactions to porn sites. Then there is a general drop in libido, and in the end it becomes impossible to get an erection.” [3] - Carlo Foresta, former president of the Italian Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine.

4. In Italy, research looking at porn specifically and its impact on sexual problems in men ages 19 to 25 found that on a scale ranking sexual desire from 1 to 10 (10 being the highest), porn users averaged a score of 4.21, while non- porn users came in at 8.02. Erectile function was also 30 percent lower among porn users compared to non-users, and those on porn also earned lower scores on overall sexual satisfaction and orgasm function. [4]

5. A study done at Cambridge University looking at men with porn addiction found that more than half of the subjects reported “that as a result of excessive use of sexually explicit materials, they had . . .  experienced diminished libido or erectile function specifically in physical relationships with women (although not in relationship to the sexually explicit material). [5]

6. “Pills [such as viagra] will do something physiologic. They can provide blood flow to the genitalia. But what they can’t do is stimulate the most sexual organ, which is the brain. So when the brain is desensitized, you create a mismatch. And some men will even say, ‘Well I do get an erection’ even in these men who are able to be treated. Even with that erection, they do feel desensitized. They don’t get pleasure. So it doesn’t treat the pleasure component, and they feel that maybe I’m watching someone else having sex or it’s not even my penis; I feel dissociated from the experience. And when they have that they have this brain-penis mismatch created where the brain is simply not feeling pleasure even if they may or may not achieve an erection.” [6] - Dr. Andrew Kramer

7. Researchers have found that even moderate porn use was correlated with having a lowered response to sexual cues in the brain. While it didn’t conclusively show that porn had caused the changes, that was the theory the researchers found most likely. They even subtitled their study “The Brain on Porn.” [7]

8. When a person is continuously strengthening the brain maps linking sexual excitement to porn, those maps enlarge and can crowd out maps linking sexual excitement to a real person or real sex. [8]

9. Researchers in Italy took brain scans of men with ED for which there was no obvious physical cause. They found that their brains showed reduced grey matter in the reward center (which means reduced dopamine signaling) and the sexual centers of the hypothalamus. [9] Porn is associated with having reduced grey matter. [10]

10. Doctors and past porn users have found that leaving porn behind can fix erectile dysfunction problems. [11]

Interested in Learning More?

Check out my my interview with Gabe Deem about how porn use lead him to porn-induced ED.

Original article by Matt Fradd


Porn addiction could ruin your sex life and here's why. Sexual function specialist Anand Patel MD, Sex therapist Janet Eccles, Neuroscientist Dr Nicola Ray (2016)

Erectile dysfunction is experienced by ​ 75% of British men aged 18 to 25 – the first generation to grow up with porn 'on tap'

By Joe Madden, 30 September 2016

"Basically, porn broke my dick so that it didn't work with real fannies."

Link to Full article


I've known Alec for more than a decade. He's in his early 30s, London-based, and a successful writer. He's funny, popular and charmingly gutter-brained. But for a while there, unbeknown to me, he was struggling with a uniquely 21st-century problem.

During an extended period of bachelordom, Alec fell into some bad habits in the crotch department. With little else to fill the quiet midweek nights, he'd fire up porn sites and tug himself insensible – again and again. And again. "I'd still have been wanking a lot if it wasn't for porn," he admits, "but the porn tipped me over into wanking like a subhuman." 

Time-consuming as they were, Alec's chimp-like masturbation habits didn't seem anything to fret about – until he finally got himself a girlfriend. And that's where it gets complicated, because there, faced with a real living, breathing body, he failed to get an erection – again and again. "Thankfully, she was extremely patient and understanding," he winces, "because it took a properly long time to fix." (Spoiler alert: the two are now engaged.) 

Alec's story is by no means unusual. Porn-induced erectile dysfunction (PIED) amongst young men is the hot topic in sexual health right now. It's highly likely you know a man with PIED, and you may even be in a relationship with one: if your man is often unable to 'keep his end of the deal up' during adult funtime, you may well be a porn widow. In fact, the unprecedented accessibility of X-rated material is creating thousands of new porn widows every day. According to the Sexual Advice Association, a staggering 75% of British men aged 18 to 25 – the first generation to grow up with porn 'on tap' – have experienced erectile dysfunction issues.

Alexander Rhodes, founder of (more on which later), is convinced of the link between porn's rise and the decline of the boner: "Depending on which study you go by there's been anywhere between a 600% to 3,000% increase in erectile dysfunction in men under 30 since the internet arrived. It's a little alarming, right?"


With its sunlight-filled rooms and cheery décor, the practice of sex therapist Janet Eccles – nestled in an idyllic Greater Manchester village – doesn't feel like a place where dark sexual turmoil is tearfully confessed. That is, of course, the point: disarmed by her upbeat scatter cushions and warm Mancunian frankness, Eccles's clients reveal things they've never dared tell a soul. 

Having greeted, seated and offered me coffee, Eccles turns to the subject at hand: the increasing numbers of young men coming through her doors whose malfunctioning genitals are a result of their porn use. 

"Some men are growing very accustomed to clicking a button and getting quick 'n' easy sexual stimulation," says Eccles. "They're then finding that a real-life, flesh-and-blood woman doesn't give them that same sexual hit, which leads to problems. 

There's been between a 600% to 3,000% increase in erectile dysfunction in men under 30 since the internet arrived

"Erectile dysfunction is the issue everyone talks about, because in young men it's the most noticeable, and the one that'll leave their partners thinking, 'Oh, he doesn't fancy me!' But premature ejaculation can also occur, or even retrograde ejaculation, whereby the man can't ejaculate."

Absent boners aside, PIED can also manifest itself as a sustained and stealthy avoidance of sex. "The man may be making excuses; going to bed at different times from his partner; even becoming critical of their partner's appearance," says Eccles. This unwillingness to face the issue head-on stems from the two-pronged embarrassment of PIED: not only can he not perform sexually, he's also probably lost control of his porn use. 

But while not every PIED sufferer is also a habitual porn user there is, as you might imagine, a hefty overlap between the two groups. And it's not merely a case of guys carelessly wanking their libidos away – something far more insidious and deep-rooted is at work.  

"Porn works on the brain like any addictive substance," says Manchester Metropolitan University's Dr Nicola Ray, a neuroscientist specialising in behavioural addictions. "The thing you're addicted to takes hold of your neural circuitry and hijacks the pathways related to more natural rewards so that they become unresponsive. So porn becomes the only thing the brain understands in relation to sexual stimulation; basically real sex becomes increasingly less exciting."  

Exacerbating this neurological reaction is the widespread practice of 'edging' – holding off climax for as long as possible, hopping from video to video in a zoned-out fog. Every porn user has done this to a certain degree, but some men are taking edging to the next-level: "There's a big difference between logging on for 30 minutes, three times a week," says Eccles, "and watching porn for five, six hours straight without orgasming."


During such sessions, the porn being viewed will inevitably escalate in strength: videos that seem gross and beyond-the-pale during hour one may be just the ticket by hour three. 

"For long-term porn users the stimulation levels needed to achieve the same high increase and increase and increase," says Eccles. "It's like a long-term alcoholic who needs to down a bottle of whisky before they even feel a buzz. Before you know it you're looking at some pretty extreme stuff."

This downward spiral understandably plays havoc with the brain – which in turn plays havoc with the genitals. "Your brain releases less and less dopamine – the neurotransmitter that makes you feel pleasure – the more porn you watch," explains Dr Ray. "You need increasingly intense and shocking material to keep the dopamine flowing, and eventually 'boring' real-life sex barely registers in the brain at all." Yikes.     

Women, of course, watch porn too – so why isn't it decimating your sexual behaviour in a similar way? Well, not only do you consume porn less habitually – almost a third of men admit to viewing it every day, compared with just 3.8% of women – you also prefer different kinds of porn to us. As Eccles says, "most of the stuff on the big free sites is aimed only at men – and it's just grim." 

My own wanking career – thanks for asking – began during the final days of the 'analogue porn' era, when softcore nudey mags – procured during red-faced trips to newsagents – were still the norm. Occasionally I'd come into possession of a VHS tape – a grainy copy of a copy of a copy – containing some excessively hairy '70s porn that was usually more comical than arousing.

At the tail end of the 1990s internet porn arrived, but it was often more effort than it was worth. Dial-up speeds made the concept of edging a madman's dream: video streaming was still years off, and I can't tell you how many impatient boners I had wilt away waiting for a single jpeg to slooowwly materialise onscreen. (Too much information? I'll stop now, I promise.) The struggle, as they say, was real. 


Back then I'd have killed for the constant access to porn that today's teens and 20-somethings have. Viewed from the vantage point of my late 30s, however, that wanking paradise seems more like a prison, and I'm genuinely thankful to have missed out on it. It's no coincidence that the first generation to journey adolescence in the age of the smartphone, wi-fi and Pornhub are also the first to suffer PIED on a dramatic scale. Got a 20-something boyfriend? He's probably been looking at weapons-grade porn since his earliest pubes, and that's not been great for his brain. "We're all engaged in a huge global social experiment right now, because there's never been a time before when everyone – including children – has had easy access to very hardcore pornography. We don't yet fully know what the ramifications will be," says Jon Brown, the NSPCC's lead on tackling sexual abuse.

'I was masturbating 14 times a day. I decided I needed to give it a rest for a few days, but I just couldn't.'​

Men who've viewed porn since childhood have a comparatively tougher time de-porning their brains – a process known as 'rebooting'. GP and sexual function specialist Dr Anand Patel has dealt with countless PIED patients: "If they're over 35 it'll take them eight to 12 weeks to reboot," he says. "But if they're under 35, and so grew up with online porn, they'll need six to 12 months." 

Daunting for younger PIED sufferers, maybe, but Dr Patel is keen to focus on the positive: "As ashamed as they may feel, these men need to know that they're not 'stuck' that way," he says. A full recovery is possible – if they work at it. Something worth passing on to the men in your life. 


I'm Skyping with 26-year-old Pittsburgh resident Alexander Rhodes, founder of porn recovery community website, and the internet's poster-boy for men wrestling back control of their sexuality in the internet age. ("Fap", by the way, is onomatopoeic slang for male masturbation, from the fap-fap-fap noise a rapidly tugged penis makes. Yes, really). The wi-fi is down in the NoFap office, so Rhodes has hot-footed it to a nearby Starbucks for our video chat. I can see genteel frappuccino-sipping customers behind him looking increasingly perturbed. 

"So, I'll just jump right in and say it," sighs Rhodes, bracing for the cringe. "At one point I was masturbating 14 times a day, and I decided I needed to give it a rest for a couple of days, and I found I just couldn't. And I felt powerless." 

Rhodes became increasingly unnerved – and fascinated – at the control porn exerted over his life. It deadened his attraction to real-life women; he'd replay porn in his head during sex. So he set up the NoFap community on Reddit, which swiftly attracted thousands of fellow "Fapstronauts" from across the globe and eventually blossomed into

"It's a platform that provides tools and support for those who've decided to abstain from, uh... certain behaviours for a period of time," Rhodes explains, self-censoring for the sake of his Starbucks eavesdroppers. NoFap is not, he emphasises, an anti-porn organisation. "We don't want legislation against porn. We believe it's a human right to do whatever you want to do, provided it's not hurting anyone else. But if you're in a relationship, chances are that heavy porn use will hurt your sex life, and if your sex life is affected, that spreads to every area of the relationship."

When that happens, says Rhodes, a cold-turkey reboot is the only way forward. Dr Patel agrees. "You treat PIED the same as you would with any addiction, by stopping the stimulus. It's difficult to withdraw from using porn, but you will get the return of normal sexual excitement and erectile function without resorting to medication."

Nobody I spoke to for this piece was in favour of regulating porn or wiping it off the face of the web – but everyone agreed that something had to change to prevent further generations having their sex lives warped. 

"Porn isn't discussed in sex education," says NoFap's Rhodes, "and it's often not even discussed in relationships. It shouldn't be a taboo subject."

Speaking as a man I do think we need to be far more honest and open about our porn use and the impact it's having on both us and you, our wives and girlfriends. If the stats are to be believed, a third of men are consuming, on a daily basis, a highly potent stimulant that leaves a stark and lasting effect on our brains. We're all cool with being warned of the potential pitfalls of drinking, smoking, gambling and so on, so it's about time we accepted that cranking one off to Pornhub carries certain responsibilities too. And if we refuse? Well, you'd be fully within your rights to leave us – alone, hunched over a screen, pitifully lost in synthetic pleasure while the real thing walks out the door.  


Porn causing erectile dysfunction in young men (Global News Canada)

Porn impotence (Swedish) Göran Sedvallson.


Adult Depending makes male impotent

Posted Tuesday, May 14, 2013

listen to the sexologist: "Sex with partner means greater demands"

More and more men in Blekinge seeking help for his porn addiction. The past five years have sexology clinic in Blekinge received more and more men stuck in front of pornography on the Internet and are no longer attracted by sex with partern.

Simply stated, there are two categories of men seeking help for his porn addiction. It says Göran Sedvallson, doctors at the County Council sexological reception.

On the one hand, he explains, it is men living in a relationship that will be damaged by addiction.

- The man is not as interested in sex with their partner, without masturbating just to porn, he says.

"Adult Impotence"

This condition, called for porn impotence, or with another term male malaise.

- When you are surfing porn, it's very simple. You have control over your computer and your own body. Will you then be with a partner so down the other requirements that inhibit explains Göran Sedvallson.

 In cases where the man has a partner, there is often feelings of inadequacy, which the partner almost feel deceived.

- You think more about where the computer than me, is a common sense, says G Sedvall says.

8-10 hours per day

Then there are men without partners who spend so many hours in front of porn on your computer. It can be about 8-10 hours, alongside a job.

- It becomes like a drug that can be likened to an alcohol addiction, says Göran Sedvallson.

Why do men then do not break the pattern itself? Often porn use an anxiolytic effect, just like drugs or alcohol, says Göran Sedvallson. In addition, the availability of porn on the net a villain.

- A few clicks so you are inside the pages, he says.

Porn-induced ED (part 2) presented at the American Urologic Association Conference, May 6-10, 2016. Urologist Tarek Pacha (Video)

Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction Part #2: Stages and Science. Delivered by Dr. Tarek Pacha at the American Urologic Association in San Diego 2016. Link to conference bio of Tarek Pacha

Porn-induced ED (part 3) presented at the American Urologic Association Conference, May 6-10, 2016. Urologist Tarek Pacha

Pornography induced erectile dysfunction (PIED): Understanding the scope, science, and treatment. Delivered by Dr. Tarek Pacha at the American Urologic Association in San Diego, May 2016. Link to conference bio of Tarek Pacha

Porn-induced erectile dysfunction in healthy young men, Andrew Doan MD, PhD

This is your brain online: How technology can affect the brain like drugs

By , Deseret News National Edition

Thursday, Jan. 8 2015

For Cosette Rae, the end of her marriage was death by a thousand clicks.

Rae and her husband — who both worked as computer programmers in the early 2000s — spent hours in front of a computer screen at home and at work.

“We avoided dealing with our problems by working hard," Rae said. "A lot of things that should’ve been dealt with in the moment weren’t dealt with.”

Rae didn’t know that she had developed a disease that has different names in different psychiatric circles — technology addiction, compulsive Internet use or, most commonly, Internet addiction disorder.

What she knew was she couldn’t find time to put her own children to bed.

“There were many times when I didn’t read to my children, even though I wanted to. My interactions with digital media interfered with my ability to be the kind of parent I wanted to be,” Rae said. “It was always, ‘Just five more minutes,’ and then four hours would go by.”

Rae became a psychotherapist and co-founded reSTART, a Washington state recovery center for people who struggle to manage their digital consumption.

Today, digital addiction — whether the fixation is social media, texting, video games or pornography — is a murky term. It's hard to know how many people are affected, but a 2009 study focused on gaming found that about 8 percent of kids ages 8 to 18 worldwide qualify as addicted.

That's about 3 million kids, a number that alarms Dr. Andrew Doan of the U.S. Naval Substance Abuse and Recovery Program in San Diego.

"There is no other drug of choice that you can get for the cost of an Internet connection or for free at a WiFi hotspot that’s as addicting as a painkiller," Doan said.

It isn't unique to America. A 2014 study by psychologist Daria Kuss at the U.K.'s Nottingham Trent University put the digital addiction rate at about 26 percent in parts of Asia. In 2008, China became one of the first countries in the world to declare Internet addiction one of its top public health risks, estimating that more than 20 million of its citizens are Internet addicts.

Yet the American Psychiatric Association has not classified Internet addiction as a disorder in its diagnostic manual, the DSM. Rae says it's high time to make changes.

"We didn’t intend for this to happen when we marched into this brave new digital frontier. But it has," Rae said. "We need to ask ourselves how to erect these safety nets around our activity so we can have a sustainable relationship with technology."

Digital potency

The parameters of digital addiction are not defined, but digital addictions are similar to behavioral addictions like compulsive gambling.

Kuss says there's evidence that Internet addiction can alter brain chemistry.

When the brain experiences something pleasant — for example, winning a video game — the good feelings come from a rush of dopamine, she said. When someone becomes addicted to the activity, neural receptors in the brain become flooded with dopamine and essentially turn off, leading the addict to seek out those feelings aggressively.

When the activity is cut off, it takes time for the receptors to wake up, resulting in depression, mood swings or sleep deprivation. Doan says science needs to classify different kinds of media based on what he calls "digital potency."

"You don't see people getting addicted to PowerPoint," Doan said. "Our challenge is to figure out how potent something like Facebook is compared to something like gaming."

Doan has been studying digital addiction in the Navy. He recently published a landmark paper about the case of one serviceman he diagnosed as being addicted to Google Glass.

Doan reported that the patient used Google Glass about 18 hours a day, became irritable without it and even experienced dreams as if he was viewing them through the Google Glass viewer.

Doan doesn't speak for the Department of Defense, but he says Internet addiction has reached such a level that the U.S. military is actively investigating it as an obstacle to troop readiness. He's frank about what he's seen affect troops so far — a fixation with online pornography.

"We're talking about young, healthy men that come in here with erectile dysfunction," Doan said. "Young men who can't have intimacy with their spouses."

Doan says what he's seeing is an example of the Coolidge Effect — based on the idea that a male mammal will mate to the point of exhaustion for as long as he is exposed to different females. Thanks to the Internet, men now have unlimited access to more pornographic content than ever. Doan says digital-age porn addicts often need to have multiple windows and images open at once to become aroused.

"You use more and more until you can't get an erection without it, so you seek out the next level," Doan said. "It's a drug that triggers a response, just like Viagra."

Finding help

For three years, Matt McKenna lived and breathed video games. McKenna's game of choice was EverQuest — nicknamed EverCrack for its addictive qualities, McKenna said — an online role-playing game.

As a college student, McKenna played 30 hours at a time, stopping essentially when he passed out.

“The best way I can describe it is I would get a buzz from a headshot or a victory,” McKenna said. "I would eat the fastest food I could find — cereal or something — and I would just play until I couldn't stay up anymore."

McKenna flunked out of school and broke up with his girlfriend, whom he lived with at the time ("I can't believe she stayed with me as long as she did," he said) — all for what he calls his empty reward.

"All I wanted was that buzz. In real life, you have to work hard for that feeling of accomplishment and it's usually well-earned. But in gaming, you don't work hard for it," McKenna said. "Then you start realizing what you're willing to give up to get it."

McKenna tried to find help through recovery website Online Gamers Anonymous, but craved face time with other addicts he could talk to in person, rather than venturing online where he could be tempted to play.

"If it's bad, you don't even want to go on the Internet," McKenna said. "But so many support groups are online."

McKenna turned to Alcoholics Anonymous, but didn't find much support.

"You can't go in there and say you're addicted to gaming," McKenna said. "They don't understand it. They look at you like you're some sort of alien."

McKenna's experience mirrors the same struggle practitioners face to get Internet addiction recognized as a full-fledged behavioral disorder like compulsive gambling.

"(Internet addiction) has serious repercussions we shouldn't overlook," Kuss said. "There are many people out there who are suffering."

The road to recovery is paved with ways to relapse, as McKenna learned. The worst, he says, are free games he can get on his phone. His Internet browser is also a constant reminder of his past.

"I can't choose to not see gaming ads ever again," McKenna said. "All it takes is one click and I'm back into gaming."

Parent trap

When Dr. Hilarie Cash took on a young patient who was addicted to a video game version of Dungeons and Dragons in 1996, she thought of one thing: Her own son.

“What I was seeing was the trickle before the flood,” Cash said. "I didn't want him to end up like that."

Cash, who co-founded reSTART with Rae in 2009, says that technology-centered addictions begin at home.

"I had a husband tell me that his wife checked Facebook on her phone whenever she breast-fed. Disastrous," Cash said. "Many parents have this delusional, self-serving fantasy where they think their kids are going to be smarter because they’re on these devices. But often it's because the parents want to be on their devices."

Because the Internet is part of modern life, reSTART doesn't preach abstaining from digital media, but devising individual use plans.

"I once worked with a woman who was addicted to porn who said that as soon as she sat at her console, she was turned on," Cash said. "This is a very difficult addiction because they can’t just stay away."

Rae says managing digital use can mean website monitoring or filtering software, setting online time limits or buying analog phones rather than smartphones. It's not an easy process, Cash said, which is why families need to start setting up limits from the beginning.

"Many of our social needs can get hijacked on a computer. They can hold a child's attention, but it stops them from interacting," Cash said.

For parents who aren't sure if their children are developing addictive behavior, Kuss suggests an experiment.

"See what happens when you take it away," Kuss said. "Make sure they have good experiences outside of the Internet."

Since she's addressed her habit, Rae says she's rejoined the world in ways she didn't know were possible. She calls it her "reconnecting."

"We all crave human connection. I don’t care how many Facebook pages you have, it is not a hand on the shoulder, the hug, a smile, a laugh, a kiss. That can never be replaced virtually," Rae said. "I didn't know how enjoyable life could be outside the digital world. That's why sustainable technology use is probably one of the most important conversations of our time."

Email:, Twitter: ChandraMJohnson


Porning too much? by Robert Taibbi, L.C.S.W.

guy with screenWhen it is controlling you rather than you controlling it

December 14, 2012 by Robert Taibbi, L.C.S.W.

Porn is becoming a widespread and increasingly serious problem. An estimated 20-30 million Americans (okay mostly men) are viewing porn daily. The saturation with porn is causing a host of young adults (yes, men again) to need Viagra to deal with erectile dysfunction because of changes in their brain chemistry. Even more disturbing is the impact on children (some as young as 10) who are watching porn and creating major changes in their brains because of their age and because the porn comes before they have any reality-based relationships with another person. 

Finally there are the porn addictions that are disrupting not only the sexual side of couple relationships but obviously the emotional side as well. And like alcohol or drugs, there is a fine line here between dependence and addiction. 

Dependence is a pull, the craving – the checking out the liquor cabinet to make sure you’re not going to run out by Thursday or the looking forward at 4 pm for the evening cocktail. With addiction the drug is the boss of you. You build around it, you can’t control it, skipping is not an option, even the thought of doing without creates a panic. 

Porn is particularly powerful thanks to the internet. Just as the heroin addict or alcoholic’s tolerance increases, so does it for those drawn to porn. Fortuanately or unfortunately there is an endless variety of types and sites, ready to fill whatever new level you desire – you literally never run out. 

And finally we have oxytocin. This is what clinches the addiction for guys. Oxytocin is the chemical that helps new parents bond to their babies, causes couples who fall in love to bond to each other. On any given day a woman’s oxytocin level can be as much as 10 times higher than that of a man. With that it doesn’t take much (he unexpectedly washes the dishes, brings her flowers) for her to literally feel connected. What increases oxytocin for men? You guessed it – sex, specifically orgasm. As men watch porn they usually have orgasms (thanks to mirror neurons and the interactive nature of porn sites) which increases their oxytocin and they then bond to the porn. (For a good summary of porn and the brain check out Oct '12 Men's Health)

While all this chemistry and physiology is going on, there is also the psychological component. Like other problems, porn is a bad solution to other problems. What are those problems? Some likely suspects: 

Stress. When stress overflows its banks, it’s easy to move into more forbidden territories that we would ignore in saner, daytime hours. With stress goes our natural defenses. For some it is about porn, for others another drink or joint, or shopping online for shoes. Pick your poison. 

Boredom. Boredom often comes from 2 sources – a filling of your life with a lot of “shoulds” rather than wants, and a lack of stimulation. By shoulds I mean doing what you are supposed to do rather than the want that captures your soul and passion. If you are going through the motion of frying hamburgers at McD’s it’s probably a should – a job, not your passion – and you can quickly get bored. You might be less bored if there is stimulation – a coworker to talk to about his weekend or the activity of those around you at lunch rush. Take away to coworker or lunch rush and you’d get bored. Porn provides lots of stimulation when you are feeling unsatisfied and unstimmed.

Resentment. Resentment mixes well with shoulds. If you are doing what you should a lot because someone (or that critical voice in your head) says so, it’s easy for resentment to eventually build up. When it gets big enough, the tendency is to act out because you deserve it. So you sneak online on your job at 4 pm because you are physically tired and emotionally tired of what you have done all day. You sneak online at 11 pm because you feel your wife has been nagging you since you got home, and feel you deserve it, because it is, in some weird way, getting back at her (even if this is all in your mind and she has no idea what you’re thinking). 

Sex. Or lack of. You would think this is ought to be at the top of the list, but often it’s not. But obviously it’s there. If you feel sexually deprived, disconnected, sexually bored, Internet porn seems like a great solution – as close to reality as you can get without reality.

The problem again is any of these can be a trigger and once you become dependent on the porn to deal with them, you get hooked, brain chemistry takes over, and you’re on the road to potential addiction. 

The way out? Like most potentially addictive behaviors you need to address the 2 elements simultaneously. Behaviorally you need to break the pattern. What is recommended to the those developing ED is not more Viagra but cold turkey – abstinence – no porn, no masturbating (because you easily recreate the Internet fantasies while masturbating) for 6 months or longer (you can find websites where folks are willing to talk about this) to help break the cycle and re-regulate your brain. 

The other is to fix the underlying problem. If it is about doing what you should but not what you want, find ways of increasing your wants into your life. If about stimulation, find other outlets to offset that 4 pm drag and walk away from your computer. If stress, ditto. If resentment at others – your boss, your partner -- try figuring out what you want them to change and then speak up – need more challenging assignments, need some time to decompress when you come home. If it's about sex, do the same – figure out what you want and speak up. 

You don't have to do it right, just do it different. Baby steps count, just start. If you keep doing the same thing you'll keep feeling the same way. 

Finally, I realize this is all easy to say, but often hard to do. So get support – from partner, friend, professional. Get help to change what you do so you can change what you do.

Maybe it's time to pull the plug.

LINK TO ARTICLE - Porning too much?

Comments: Robert Taibbi, is a very well known therapist, writer, and author of textbooks for counselors and their supervisors. In this PT post he describes porn-induced ED, and suggests 6 month without porn & masturbation may be needed.


Pornography & Erectile Dysfunction, by Lawrence A. Smiley M.D.

Lawrence A.Smiley MDThe following is a comment under David Ley's Psychology Today blog post entitled "An Erectile Dysfunction Myth: Pornography is not the problem."


In theory anything that gets a man an erection is good for his erections. Each time a man gets an erection the penis is flushed with oxygenated blood and the different expandable layers of the penis are expanded. This keeps the tissues and blood vessels healthy and elastic - which is good for the penis. So at first glance pornography should be a good thing for a man's erections.

This is however, not always the case.

If a man has no sexual partners and the bulk of his erections are through watching pornography and masturbating, then these erections are better for the penis than that man not having them at all.

Pornography plays an entirely different dynamic for a man who has one or more sexual partners. The internet makes it possible to not only find pornography, but to find exactly the type of pornography that you want. So whatever a man finds to be most erotic - young women, heavy woman, married women, young men, older men, animals, cars, etc. - whatever it is - it can be easily and quickly found online. Here lies the problem. When a man who has no history of erectile dysfunction and who is watching pornography on a regular basis and who is watching what to him is the most erotic of all things, when he is with a partner after that - the real thing (his partner) may be less erotic or stimulating than his optimal pornographic experience.

I see men almost every day in my sexual dysfunction practice in exactly this situation. They have developed over time, the inability to easily get a good solid erection with their partner and sometimes find it difficult to ejaculate with their partner.

I advise these men to dramatically cut out the pornography they watch and after a few months their erections and ability to ejaculate with their partners almost always returns to normal for them. They can still masturbate all they want during this period of time - but not to erotic pornography.

While the author makes an excellent point that clinicians, myself included, cannot support these observations with hard data and studies, the observations are so uniform among clinicians that it is logical to assume a that there is a direct correlation between a pornography addiction and erectile dysfunction, even while awaiting formal studies that conclusively prove this to the authors satisfaction.

Lawrence A. Smiley, M.D.

Men's Medical New York, P.C.

Submitted by LAWRENCE A. SMILEY, M.D. on September 2, 2013 - 8:31am.

Pornography was the only one who got Donald aroused: Swedish

young couple in bed(Google translate) When Donald would have sex for real for the first time, he felt no desire. However, he was easily aroused by porn videos. And sex problemen just continued. 

Donald is one of a growing number of young men who felt that they suffered porn impotence. That is, it does not work when trying to have sex for real.

- The first time when I would sleep with a girl I was not able. I lit simply do not and it was as if something was missing. I thought that I was just nervous, but it was the same the next time. I simply had no desire, says Kalle.

First, he felt a tremendous shame and thought then that maybe he was gay. For a few years he went about with their concerns and fears. Then he looked online and found that many young men shared experience that too much viewing porn in connection with masturbation could be a cause of the problems.

- Then I simply stopped trying to meet someone to have sex, continue Kalle.

He is nineteen today and feel that he was "healed" from his porn impotence. Sex life with his girlfriend works well and he does not look at porn anymore, would not be at risk again.

When Donald was thirteen years old , he looked for porn sites on the net. There were many movies and short videos to download - and was free. Even for those who are not of age.

- I often sat in front of the computer and masturbated. In the end, it could become three four times per day. In the movies, it was normal sex, normal sex and a lot more. I watched most of "normal" movies.

Donald says he was quite shy as a young teenager. When he was sixteen, he met a contemporary girl at a party. He followed her home. They kissed, necked and was finally naked in her bed.

- I noticed that she was pretty excited, but I felt more nervous. And nothing happened with my penis. It was loose and I did not get a position. She asked if it was the first time and said it did not do anything - but it still felt incredibly awkward.

Next weekend met Charlie and the young girl friend at his home, the parents had gone to the country. They watched a film, ate chips and drank some beer. They hugged, made out for a while - but then the same thing happened as last time.

- Neither this time I got something about. Now I felt even more embarrassed. The next week called the girl again, but then blamed me that I was busy all next weekend. Then ran it all out on the sand. I saw her at school and every time I was terrified that she told me what had happened and that I would be teased.

Donald continued to look at adult movies while he masturbated. Then it was no problem to get a position. After six months, he met a new girl at a party and they gave each other their phone numbers. They met at her house one afternoon and tried to have sex.

- The same problem again. I did not feel so light and did not get a position now either.

Now the Donald age of 17 years and their thoughts that maybe he was gay came more frequently.

- My uncle is gay, so for me it was not scary or unnatural. I have no bögfobi ... Though I had never experienced any attraction to boys or men, and I never looked at porn where men had sex with each other.

Then one day came across Donald on forums online where others told of similar experiences. He found several discussion threads where young men reported that they suffered porn impotence, that is to say that it did not work when they would have sex for real.

- I recognized myself in the stories, but also read that there was a way to become "good" again. Many had stopped while masturbating and watching porn, and after a few months it had worked when they tried to have sex for real. I decided to follow the "recipe".

Six months ago, Donald began dating a girl in high school class. And after two months it happened he dreamed of and yearned long after. He was capable and could complete sexual intercourse - for the first time.

- I was crying and the girl took first nothing, but when I told my story, she was also very taken.

Why do you think that you have previously had problems to light in connection with real sex?

- I've thought a lot about it. In porn movies moaning women directly and they are willing to do a lot of things, sets up in just about everything. I do not know if I subconsciously thought that it would be so, and therefore, I did not get a position. Now it works, anyway - and I'm going to drag me to look at porn again.

LINK - Pornography was the only one who got Donald aroused: Swedish

Porren var det enda som fick Kalle att tända

Publicerad 2013-05-08 11:01

Private school principals get a lesson in porn. Sexuality educator Liz Walker (2016)

August 24, 2016 - Link to article

Henrietta Cook

Victorian private schools are tackling a confronting issue.  

It's a topic that makes parents squirm, and they avoid discussing it with their children. And according to experts, it's having a devastating impact on young men and their attitudes towards women.

For the first time, Independent Schools Victoria will run a seminar on porn for principals and teachers.  

How do you deal with pornography?

For the first time, Independent Schools Victoria will next month host a seminar for principals and teachers examining why young people are driven to watch porn. It will also discuss the impact of pornography on relationships, and give teachers skills to discuss pornography with young people.

Related Content

It follows a spate of recent incidents where male students circulated offensive and graphic photos of females online.

A now former St Michael's Grammar student is being investigated by police over circulating naked photos of his female classmates, and last month, Brighton Grammar expelled two senior students who set up an Instagram account featuring photos of young girls and invited people to vote for the "slut of the year". A website which posted explicit photos of Australian schoolgirls is being investigated by the Australian Federal Police and was taken down last week.

Independent Schools Victoria chief executive Michelle Green said schools needed to consider some confronting questions about pornography.

"It's clear that  schools face a complex challenge in addressing an entrenched society-wide problem - the fact that some men and boys still engage in totally unacceptable and abusive behaviour towards women and girls," she said.

Ms Green said the seminar had been planned months ago, but was timely in light of recent incidents. "There's an emerging concern that this behaviour is influenced by access to pornography that portrays women in demeaning and degrading ways," she said.

She said schools were unable to tackle pornography by themselves. "It involves our entire community, including parents who need to be more aware of their children's online activity," she said..

The seminar will be run by psychotherapist Hugh Martin, a former porn addict who is the founder of Man Enough.

Mr Martin said pornography was a public health issue and had the potential to create the next generation of predators.

"Pornography is often brushed aside as something puerile, something that offends women, but it could create real perversion," he said.

"This will give schools the skills to have a discussion with students about what they are watching and let them know that it is not real, and this is not how consenting adults usually behave."

Sexuality educator Liz Walker said schools felt uncomfortable dealing with pornography.

"They have no idea what young people have access to. They know it's there but don't know what it is," she said.

Ms Walker – who is running a separate seminar for teachers on pornography at Deakin University on Friday – said pornography was having a dreadful impact on young people.

She said girls were suffering internal injuries and felt like they had to perform like porn stars, while men were experiencing high rates of erectile dysfunction.

"If that many people were hooked on cocaine there would be an uproar," she said. 

High school students will analyse pornography, sexting and raunchy music videos as part of an Andrews government's revamp of the school curriculum. The respectful relationships curriculum is designed to counter violence against women. 

A Senate inquiry is looking at the harm being done to children through online pornography and will finalise its report by December 1.


Reality is not enough exciting (Swedish), Psychiatrist Goran Sedvallson. urologist Stefan Arver, psychotherapist Inger Björklund (2013)

This article (Google translator) quotes three experts who say porn is causing sexual problems: Socionomen Inger Björklund, psychotherapist at RFSU Clinic; Stefan Arver's chief physician and head of the Centre for Andrology and Sexual Medicine at Karolinska University Hospital in Hudding;  Psychiatrist Goran Sedvallson.

More and more young men suffer from "porn impotence." On the web, they search for people with the same problem. "I was just about when I was looking at porn - not with my girl," said one of the victims.

The U.S. site Your Brain On Porn caters to men who tend to watch a lot of porn and can no longer get a position when they try to have sexual intercourse. The focus is on how extensive consumption of pornography affects the brain's reward system and leads to disturbed "lighting patterns", namely that one can not get excited by a "real" partner.

Now it seems these developments have reached Sweden. On the net there are several discussion threads where thousands of men, mostly young, discusses the problem of getting a position during intercourse. Common to many is that they very often masturbated while viewing porn.

Questionnaire studies by including Youth Board shows that nine out of ten young men looking at porn more or less regularly, the corresponding figure for young women are three of ten. Girls often respond that they use pornography to get excited, guys, however in order to simultaneously satisfy themselves.

A 19-year-old man writes on a nätsajt he sensed that something was not "quite right" and sought information as to why he could not get a position when he was with his girlfriend. He was just excited if he watched porn and masturbated while. When a nude woman lying in front of him in bed, nothing happened, she and the whole situation was not enough excited.

Socionomen Inger Björklund, psychotherapist at RFSU Clinic in Stockholm for five years, says that more and more young and older men seem to have erection problems after watching a lot of porn. She and colleagues have not considered the difficulties porn impotence without trying to see the problem in context.

- But it seems that reality is not sufficient to create a strong enough excitement. Man "teeth" is not a real partner. This is not a new phenomenon, but today's porn available around the clock. I-phones, I-pads, computers, televisions - anytime and anywhere you can see increasingly sophisticated films, says Inger Björklund.

She says that the phenomenon sometimes partly can be about it for various reasons may seem daunting to have an intimate contact with another human being. Then it's easier to live out their sexuality in a virtual fantasy world.

- In the "real" life, you're more vulnerable. Anyone who looks at porn does not establish any relationship to others. Therefore, a high consumption of porn make it difficult to find a common and normally functioning sex life.

Is there any solution to this kind of problem? Yes, answers Inger Björklund. The most important thing is to realize that you stuck in negative behavior. A first step is to self-define their behavior as a problem or something you want to change.

- If you want help to break the pattern and try to understand more of how it fits together to talk therapy as a means to regain a functioning sex life.

On an Internet site writes a young man he was a virgin and without sexual intercourse until the age of 18.

When he would have sex for the first time, he was "not up Willie" and the "blåvägrade" how much they tried. The young man began to search for information online. There he found many of the same problems. He continues:

"It turned out to be porn and masturbation as was culprit. If you for some time - for me it was a six-year period - masturbating and porn usually heavily so get used to the brain about the dopamine receptors to light on visual stimulation. In other words, the body can become horny and excited about it may look at porn and masturbate at the same time. Would a naked girl lying in front of my bed so nothing happens, the body does not think it's enough exciting. "

Stefan Arver's chief physician and head of the Centre for Andrology and Sexual Medicine at Karolinska University Hospital in Huddinge. He has heard of the phenomenon of "porn impotence" that someone exposes so much about sex through porn that he eventually lose interest.

- I can imagine that especially younger men who are not as sexually experienced may have a disturbed sexuality if they watch too much porn. To live in a fantasy world without living people, as the porn offers, can create unrealistic expectations of how a functioning sex life should look like. It can also lead to difficulties to experience a closeness and security with their partner, which in turn can lead to problems such as getting a position.

At the hospital in Karlskrona, a specific sexological reception since 1984. The manager Goran Sedvallson, with extensive experience as a psychiatrist and psychotherapist, says that those who watch too much porn often end up in the wrong ignition patterns.

- It may be that men may not be able or feel pleasure when they have sex for real. They are so imprinted on the porn film's fictional world that they can not handle a normal intercourse in real life. Obviously this can cause problems for the individual and in a relationship.

The problem with porn impotence will grow, given the increased availability, believe Goran Sedvallson. He and his colleagues in Karlskrona took last year against some fifty new visitors. Patients were between 17 and 80 years - and all felt that they had more severe problems with their sexuality.

- We have not yet received the young boys and men who experienced "porn impotence." My assessment is that in the first place looking at youth clinics and the like - they are now seeking help at all. For a teenager, it is not easy to admit that, for example, may not be able when you're with a girl.

Thomas Lerner

Original article -

Salvaging sex life from erectile dysfunction, Dalal Akoury MD (2016)

Salvaging sex life from erectile dysfunction (December 9, 2016 by carrenak)

Salvaging sex life from erectile dysfunction will not work by watching pornographic literature

This may sound like anti-onanistic propaganda, nonetheless, medical professionals say that masturbating too much is actually a pretty standard form of addiction, which is worsened by pornography. Watching porn creates a huge flood of dopamine in the brain. Over time, the receptors that were once very sensitive become less sensitive, and normal physical intimacy does not produce enough dopamine to stimulate the dopamine receptors. In other words, the more porn you watch, the harder and more graphic porn you’ll need in order to get firmer erection. If the trend continues, men can find themselves physically unable to maintain an erection, much less enjoy sexual contact with their partners and that is why salvaging sex life from erectile dysfunction in this manner becomes necessary.

Experts from AWAREmed Health and Wellness Resource Center under the leadership of doctor Dalal Akoury reiterates that, besides all this, it is important to note that, porn-induced ED can create further performance-anxiety concerns, compounding into a problem that is both biological and psychological which may necessitate an individuals to start developing real self-confidence issues like feeling irritable, sleeplessness, frustration and anxiousness. This can occasioned one to lose a relationship quite easily because there is no specific number that indicates that one is masturbating too frequently.

The good news is that masturbation as an element that can cause erectile dysfunction is treatable at AWAREmed Health and Wellness Resource Center. Professionally, doctor Akoury is registering that, most men often experience flat line libido which may last for several weeks depending on the sensitivity of addiction. However the effect should not raise any alarm since it is temporal and will eventually go away. And because this is treatable, calling doctor Akoury for help, will be very ideal for the commencement of your recovery process.

When one becomes addicted to sex, there is a problem because sex is supposed to be enjoyable and pleasurable to all participating parties. Addicts do not actually enjoy sex and therefore, if you are seeing any or all of the following behaviors in your life, then you need to seek for help from the experts and doctor Akoury who besides being a sexual dysfunction expert, is also an addiction expert and she will help you overcome your twin problems of ED and addiction respectively. The following are some of the behaviors that may be associated with sexual addiction which should concern you;

  • Compulsive masturbation
  • Simultaneous or repeated sequential affairs
  • Pornography
  • Cybersex, phone sex
  • Multiple anonymous partners
  • Unsafe sexual activity
  • Partner objectification/demand for sex
  • Strip clubs and adult bookstores
  • Use of prostitution/escorts
  • Sexual aversion/anorexia
  • Frequenting massage parlors
  • Sexual paraphilia’s (a need for unusual sexual stimulation) and/or any sexually offensive behavior

Finally, having gone through this article, you can now to tell whether you’re addicted to sex or have a problem with masturbation which is causing you erection problems and distorting your sex life. If this article has pointed out this condition in your life, I want to encourage you to seek for treatment professionally by calling doctor Akoury to book for an appointment today.



Sexual Dysfunction: The Escalating Price of Abusing Porn, By Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S

By Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT-S

Mark’s Story

Mark is a married, 35-year-old realtor. His wife, Janet, is a pharmaceutical sales rep who spends several days each week on the road. Both report that their sex life was great until just a few years ago, and Mark is not sure what happened. He used to look forward to the days Janet was home because he knew the first thing they were going to do was hop in bed and make passionate love. Even after the birth of their first child, the two always made time late evenings and weekend mornings for lovemaking. But no longer. These days when being sexual with Janet, Mark struggles to reach orgasm. He’s even started faking orgasms, just to get things over with. What Mark can’t understand is why he’s ready, willing, and able when he logs on to his favorite porn sites—something he does regularly when Janet is on the road—but he can’t function when he’s got the real thing right there in front of him. Mark is quite clear in saying he is not “bored” with his wife, and he continues to find her “sexy, exciting, and arousing.”

Is Porn Ruining Sex?

Mark is suffering from Delayed Ejaculation (DE), a problem that is more common than most people realize. Symptoms of DE include: taking longer than normal to reach orgasm; only being able to reach orgasm via masturbation; and not being able to reach orgasm at all. At first Mark didn’t mind because “lasting longer” is generally viewed as a sign of virility. He chalked it up to maturing as a lover, thinking he was now better at pleasing Janet. Unfortunately, as he and many others have discovered, there really is such a thing as too much of a good thing.

As with all sexual dysfunctions, there are numerous possible causes of DE, including: physical illness/impairment; the use of SSRI-based antidepressants, which are known to delay and in many cases eliminate orgasm; psychological factors with stressors like financial worries or family dysfunction—all of which can mentally distract men during intercourse. But one increasingly documented cause of both delayed ejaculation and erectile dysfunction is an over-involvement with—for some, addiction to—pornography and masturbation as a primary sexual outlet. This seems the most likely culprit for otherwise healthy men in the prime of life such as Mark.

It appears that the tsunami of accessible, affordable, and increasingly graphic Internet pornography accessed via home computers, laptops, smart-phones and other mobile devices we now carry in our pockets can, for some, cause not only emotional, relationship, and financial problems, but also sexual dysfunction. In a way, this confirms what many in the sexual addiction treatment field have known for quite some time—that among the many symptoms and consequences of sex and porn addiction is reduced or even nonexistent interest in sexual, physical, and emotional connections with spouses and/or longer-term sexual partners. This problem is not simply due to the frequency of masturbation and orgasm outside a primary relationship; it is more related to the fact that men in general are both visually stimulated and turned-on by new stimuli. The man who spends 75% of his sexual life masturbating and fantasizing to porn (endless images of young, exciting, different partners and sexual experiences) is, over time, likely to find his longer-term partner less interesting visually and less stimulating than the endless supply of new and exciting material in his head. What we are now seeing is an emotional disconnect with spouses and partners that is manifesting physically as sexual dysfunction, be it DE or its better known cousin, erectile dysfunction (ED). Common complaints by men experiencing porn-induced sexual dysfunction include:

  • They have no problem achieving erection or orgasm with pornography, but in person, with a willing spouse or sexual partner, they struggle with one or both.
  • They are able to have sex and achieve orgasm with their spouse or partner, but reaching orgasm takes a lot longer and their spouse or partner complains that they seem disengaged.
  • They can maintain an erection with a spouse or partner, but can only reach orgasm by replaying clips of Internet porn in their heads.
  • They invite spouses and partners to join them in watching porn—not as an occasional addendum to a healthy sexual life—but as a necessary tool toward erection and orgasm.
  • They increasingly prefer “porn sex” to real sex, finding it more intense and engaging.
  • They have increasing secrets from their spouse (amount of time looking at porn, images seen, etc.), which can lead to feelings of guilt and detachment.
  • Their spouse or partner reports that they are beginning to feel like “the other woman.”

When People Eat Too Much, They Diet; What about Too Much Porn?

It is unlikely that everyone who suffers from porn-induced DE is a full-blown porn addict. Nevertheless, porn-induced sexual dysfunction should at the very least be viewed as a precursor to porn addiction. Any man who uses porn and suffers from sexual dysfunction with a spouse or longer-term partner should consider a respite from porn and masturbation for 30 days to see if the problem clears up. If it does, that’s great. If that individual thereafter stays away from porn and masturbation, his sex life should be fine. If 30 days of porn and masturbation abstinence doesn’t clear things up, the individual may need to look deeper for the cause, which could be either physical or psychological in origin.

If it turns out the problem is porn addiction, the individual will need to understand that, like all addictions, porn addiction “rewires” the brain in ways that make it more difficult to experience “natural” pleasures, including pleasure from sex with a willing spouse or partner. As such, he should not expect the problem to remedy itself overnight. In fact, neuroscience tells us that it can take a year or more for the dopaminergic or pleasure pathways in the brain, when altered by addictive behaviors, to normalize.

Possible signs that porn use has escalated into addiction include:

  • Continued porn use despite consequences and/or promises made to self or others to stop
  • Escalating amounts of time spent on porn use
  • Hours, sometimes even days, lost to viewing pornography
  • Viewing progressively more arousing, intense, or bizarre sexual content
  • Lying, keeping secrets, and covering up the nature and extent of porn use
  • Anger or irritability if asked to stop
  • Reduced or even nonexistent interest in sexual, physical, and emotional connections with spouses or partners
  • Deeply rooted feelings of loneliness, and detachment from other people
  • Drug/alcohol use or drug/alcohol addiction relapse in conjunction with porn use
  • Increased objectification of strangers, viewing them as body parts rather than people
  • Escalation from viewing two-dimensional images to using the Internet for anonymous sexual hook-ups and to find prostitutes

Sadly, porn addicts are often reluctant to seek help because they don’t view their solo sexual behaviors as an underlying source of their unhappiness and/or inability to perform sexually. Others simply feel too ashamed. And when these individuals do seek assistance, they often seek help with their addiction’s related symptoms and not the problem itself—visiting a doctor to ask about potential physical causes of sexual dysfunction, masturbation related penile irritation, or to seek counseling for “relationship problems.” Sadly, many porn addicts visit medical doctors and attend extensive psychotherapy without ever discussing (or even being asked about) their use of pornography and/or masturbation. Thus, their core problem can remain underground and untreated.

All professionals treating men with arousal/desire related concerns—in the psychotherapy, sex therapy, and medical fields—have to be ready to ask questions about porn use and masturbation. If porn addiction is uncovered, extensive counseling with a trained and licensed sex addiction treatment specialist is required, often in concert with couples therapy, group work, and, if useful, involvement with a 12-Step recovery program. It is important to note that porn addiction is most often a symptom of underlying emotional and relationship concerns that will require longer-term psychotherapy and support to overcome, but this psychotherapy and support can be successful only after the presenting behavioral issue has been identified and eliminated.

Six Signs that your Partner has a Pornography Addiction & What you can Do. by Diana Baldwin LCSW (2016)

Via Diana Baldwin

on Nov 30, 2016

As a sex and relationship therapist, I have recently seen a very significant increase in partners coming in devastated after finding out their significant other has a serious problem with pornography.

This is becoming more and more of a problem in relationships, so if you feel that your partner may have a porn addiction, you are not alone. 

Many people report feeling betrayed, disgusted and devastated after finding out the depth of a partners issues. This is often just as quickly followed up with  “but everything else is great” or “I know they really love me”.

Often this is true; they probably are great, and they are struggling with a problem that is taking a toll on them, you and your relationship. The constant need to justify or make excuses for our partners though, is what keeps us in negative cycles where we are hurt again and again.

Like other addictions, an intense pornography problem does not just hurt the person, it hurts everyone in their life. The likelihood that you have suffered negative impacts and pain from this problem is almost guaranteed. Let’s look at six ways that pornography is likely impacting you and your relationship, and then talk about some ways to strengthen you and set appropriate boundaries.

1. Your sex life is suffering.

Your sex life is diminished or gone away entirely. When you do have sex, the connection is not there, and they do not seem present.

For men, this may show up as erectile dysfunction or struggles to perform like he used to. This often leaves partners wondering what they are doing wrong. They often start questioning themselves and whether they are attractive enough, skinny enough, fun enough and so on.

2. Their tastes have changed.

They have developed different attractions to things that they were not interested in before. These may be things that you are uncomfortable with or are not interested in. They may be more demanding, aggressive and rough in bed.

3. They are more withdrawn and detached.

In general, you feel that they are withdrawing. The connection you once had is no longer lit and it feels like they are detached and distant.

This is a painful issue for a partner to handle and can be even more painful because it’s hard to put your finger on and describe when someone is being detached. They may turn it on you when you try to describe this to them, saying you are being needy or emotional.

4. They are more critical of you.

This may be most noticed in bed, but likely it is happening overall as well.

People who are heavily into pornography tend to objectify their partners and are much more critical. This leaves you feeling bad about yourself and feeling that nothing you do or try is good enough. This is very damaging to a person’s psyche and self-esteem.

5. They are spending a lot of time online.

You find that your partner is spending way more time online, especially late at night or at odd times. They are not sitting next to you and doing this, but are isolating themselves and spending a lot of time alone. This can feel like a betrayal in itself, as a partner may feel that the computer is being chosen over time with them.

6.They are more secretive.

You notice that your partner is very protective and secretive with their devices and is careful not to leave anything open or unguarded. You may be catching them in more lies or they may become very defensive when confronted, even about seemingly small things.

So now what? You know that your partner has a problem and you’re starting to see the ways that it is negatively impacting you. So what do you do?

The three main things you can do are set boundaries, understand and change your negative cycles and take care of yourself.

1. Set boundaries.

Unfortunately, you cannot make someone change or overcome an addition. You can be supportive and set clear boundaries for yourself and what you are willing to give as well as what you need to receive. Partners often give so much to try and help the person struggling that they end up with nothing left.

Setting clear boundaries and expectations for yourself will not only keep you sane and grounded, but it will help them as well. This does not mean that we give ultimatums or threats—that does not create real change. This also doesn’t mean that we put up with anything that they do or say. Set boundaries for you and your relationship with care and then hold to them. Setting a boundary and then moving or changing it when it is crossed is not really setting a boundary and will only set you up for more pain.

2. Change your negative cycle.

Many couples in this situation are unknowingly going through the abuse cycle, even if it’s to a mild degree. After they relapses again or you find something your partner’s been trying to hide, there is often a blow up. They may become defensive, angry, blame something or someone else, makes excuses or turn it on you so you feel that you did something wrong, aren’t good enough, aren’t helpful enough etc.

After this there usually is some sort of reconciliation: they apologize, promise they will get help, promise they are serious this time and tell you how much they love and appreciate you. Some people instead harden at this stage and say things to the effect of “I’m not making you stay.” This is often effective in making the partner stay because they are now thinking of why they want to stay and how much they care about the relationship. After the reconciliation there is a honeymoon period where everything is great and happy (or at least back to baseline) until they relapse or act out again and you are back in the same cycle.

This cycle can be emotionally taxing at the least and abusive at the worst. It is intensely stressful and can make you feel like you’re going crazy. Take some time to look at your cycle and identify if this is something that is damaging and needs to be changed.

3. Take care of yourself

This is really the only thing you have total control over. Maybe this means seeing a therapist and getting some support, spending time with friends, reading or getting back into a class or activity you enjoy. Whatever it is, take some time to do something for you and fill your own cup. This will make you feel better, less stressed and better able to cope with all areas of life. This will also leave you with more energy to give back to your relationship and supporting your partner.


Solutions for porn-induced erectile dysfunction, by Sudeepta Varma, MD, Psychiatry

Video: Solutions for porn-induced erectile dysfunction, by Sudeepta Varma, MD, Psychiatry

Sudeepta Varma, MD,

Psychiatry, answered

Solutions for porn-induced erectile dysfunction include discussing the issue openly, rewiring the brain so that porn isn't the only factor in arousal, and sensual touching. Watch psychiatrist Sudeepta Varma, MD, explain how to overcome this issue.

South African therapists and sex educator practitioners say interventions are needed to stop today’s youngsters suffering serious health effects later in life due to pornography addiction (2016)

‘Eight-year-olds are exposed to porn’

Kwazulu Natal / 13 Jun '16

Kerushun Pillay

Durban - South African addiction therapists and sex education practitioners say drastic interventions are needed to stop today’s youngsters suffering serious health effects later in life due to pornography addiction.

A selection interviewed by The Mercury said the ease of access to porn through technology increased the likelihood of addiction, which stifled male virility and ruined the capacity to form “healthy and loving” relationships.

South African addiction therapists and sex education practitioners say that porn addiction in children was a growing "epidemic".

They said porn addiction in children was a growing “epidemic”. One child as young as 10 had been treated.

“What we found years ago in our talks and workshops on sex education is that Grade 5 pupils, 9- and 10-year-olds, have been exposed to porn”, said Heather Hansen, whose organisation, Teenworx, runs school development workshops.

“There are few young boys and girls who can honestly say they have never seen sexually explicit material,” said Clive Human, director of Standing Together to Oppose Pornography.

He said the average age at which children were exposed to porn was now 8.

“The youth start experimenting when they are too young to process the emotional impact that the visual stimulation and lack of boundaries of pornography present,” said Sheryl Rahme, an addiction specialist at Changes Rehab Centre.

This early exposure, all agreed, damaged sexual health in later life. Frequent viewing of porn caused a “rewiring” of the brain, said Rahme.

“Young porn viewers are training their bodies to become aroused specifically in unusual circumstances... presented by pornography. Porn introduces them to usual, multifaceted approaches to sex. They are not ready to process it.”

Hansen said this caused an eventual craving for “heavy stimulation” to become aroused. “You find 18-25-year-olds, who should be at their sexual peak, with erectile disfunction,” she said.

In later life, porn addicts struggled to show or receive love and intimacy from a partner, she said.

Porn addiction “causes a disturbance of the really fragile bonds of intimate family and marital relationships”, said Human. “This is where the most serious pain, damage, and sorrow occurs.”

Most people told their children not to watch it but didn’t know enough to support, educate and nurture them through it, Rahme said.

“Without having these conversations in a safe and loving way, young people move through their developmental milestones without a deeper understanding of what constitutes a healthy sexual, loving and mutually beneficial relationship,” she said.



Study Links Sailors' Porn Use, Sexual Dysfunction

A case study of three active-duty service members who saw Navy doctors found their heavy use of pornography to be connected to erectile dysfunction and other sexual problems within their romantic relationships -- a finding the Navy is watching without comment, for now. The independent study, undertaken by four San Diego-based naval health professionals, seeks to explain "sharp increases" in sexual difficulties among men under 40 in recent years and correlation with the prevalence of internet porn available for streaming, a technology that dates to 2006.

Published in the journal "Behavioral Sciences" in August, the study suggested health care providers need to more thoroughly take internet pornography use into account when diagnosing sexual problems, noting that some problems can be reversed simply by having a patient stop using pornography.

According to the report, diagnoses of erectile dysfunction in active-duty male service members more than doubled between 2004 and 2013.

"Future researchers will need to take into account the unique properties and impact of today's streaming Internet delivery of pornography," the study's authors wrote. "In addition, Internet pornography consumption during early adolescence, or before, may be a key variable."

One of the study's authors, Dr. Andrew Doan, head of the Addictions and Resilience Research department at Naval Medical Center San Diego, said in a statement that the study did not reflect the views of the center or of the Navy and declined to discuss the research more in-depth.

"Research on this topic is still underway by the authors," he said. "Therefore, it is too early to discuss this topic in open forum."

While multiple studies and reports have described the connection between pornography use and sexual and relationship problems, this may be the first to study active-duty service members on the topic. Doan said the study did not explore the effects of deployments, or other issues specific to the military, on the problem.

But his comments about the study's most significant finding suggest this is an issue that may be tied to mission readiness.

"Emotional health is linked to sexual health, directly affecting human resilience and service members' abilities to perform at their best," Doan said.

The three service members described in the case studies had previously seen doctors, two for problems including erectile dysfunction, low sexual desire and sexual difficulties with their partners, and one for mental health reasons. All three reported a trend of increasing internet pornography use, and two reported escalation to more extreme genres of internet porn.

In the first case, a 20-year-old enlisted service member, whose service branch was not identified, reported erectile dysfunction and inability to climax beginning during a six-month overseas deployment. When he returned, these persistent sexual issues began to cause problems in his relationship with his fiancee. When he cut back significantly on his internet porn use and stopped using a sex toy he had brought during his deployment, relations with his fiancee improved, and so did the relationship.

The second report described a 40-year-old service member with 17 years of service who had increased his use of internet pornography after his youngest child left for college and had begun to find his wife less stimulating than the online images. Care providers recommended he cut back on pornography use, but he found he couldn't. While he was referred to sex behavioral therapy, he declined to make an appointment, preferring to work the issues out on his own, according to the report.

In the third case, a 24-year-old junior enlisted sailor saw a doctor after attempting suicide by overdose. When his medical history was taken, he revealed he had spent more than five hours a day viewing online pornography over the last six months, and had noticed diminished interest in his wife during this time.

"When he became aware of his excessive use of pornography, he stopped viewing it completely, telling his interviewer he was afraid that if he viewed it to any extent he would find himself overusing it again," researchers wrote. "He reported that after he ceased using pornography his erectile dysfunction disappeared."

More study is needed, the authors wrote, to prove causation between internet pornography use and sexual difficulties by removing the variable of pornography and observing how study subjects respond.

Doan declined to comment on plans for future research, citing policy.

Study Links Sailors' Porn Use, Sexual Dysfunction |

-- Hope Hodge Seck for


Study: porn blamed for decreased sexual desire & increased sexual dysfunctions in teens, Dr. Carlo Foresta (2014)

Thumbnail of article in ItalianComments: The following (roughly) translated articles contain quotes and describe studies (in press) by Italian urology professor, President of the Italian Society of Reproductive Pathophysiology, and author of some 300 academic papers, Carlo Foresta. See this page for descriptions of the studies and his 90 page PDF of the lecture where he presented his results.

Foresta quotes:

  • "Of course - adds Carlo Foresta - there 'is no moral judgment [about porn use], but it is clear that this generation grew up with unconditional access to sexually explicit web, began to show serious problems with physical relationship."
  • "Among young people who make extensive use of pornography on the net, one in four also risks the loss of sexual desire and premature ejaculation."


Generation no sex

They have eighteen, and their heaven is in a closed room. Friendships, love, pleasure, everything is there. And there 'is a need for a real physical body to caress, touch, feel, someone to look into the eyes: sex for them is lonely, traveling in the network, communicates with strangers, it feeds on extreme emotions. So all-encompassing that it can happen, indeed happens, that not a few guys used to frequent the sites hard from an early age, then begin to lose interest in sex true, what lived, what implies the relationship, contact, and maybe, who knows, l ' falling in love. As if reality were then far less exciting than fiction. 

The doctors call them "hypoactive" sex, teens, twentysomethings who confess that they do not feel any desire of physicality with a concrete or a partner, but to be fulfilled by the solitary pleasure of cyber sex. That is the game erotic consumed in the shadows of their room. Hikikomori sentiment in Japan so the boys are thousands, and they are called "herbivores." 

But the phenomenon is contagious, global. And what emerges is a surprise from the data of the Italian Society of Andrology directed by Professor Carlo Foresta. Eun survey of more than seven thousand students of 'last year of high school in Padua, carpet screening on health and sexual habits of young Italians. The surprise is that in the 'age when the desire should be to' peak, and so the curiosity and the desire to discover the 'eros and its mysteries, a band of males (12% of respondents) states instead of being so used to have virtual relationships do not want more real ones. C 'is that of wonder. 

It's like watching a nightmare digital watch from outside. Yet the trend is real. Even more so if you think, as it adds Carlo Foresta, a leading expert on male infertility, which ten years ago, in 2003, "in response to this same survey, the number of sexual anorexic stopped at '1.2% of the respondents ... . " What has happened in these 10 years?

Forest extends his arms: "He fell the sense of mystery. Ever since teenage boys come into contact with any kind of explicit sexuality through pornographic sites on the internet. An avalanche of raw images, direct, and stun them forever alter their emotions. And though for many - thankfully - this remains at the level of the game, for others it becomes a 'habit, even an addiction, which then leads them to neglect the real sex.

"Expanding on that desire for isolation technology that is already a disease of contemporary youth. And which are the famous Japanese hikikomori, adolescents autoreclusi of the Rising Sun, are the most striking manifestation. 

"But the refuge in the virtual relationship, the one that hides the body and the contact is the first step of the syndrome of those who decide not to go out from your room, and they suffer in Italy already more than a hundred thousand young people," warns Antonio Piotti, psicoterapeutae author of a seminal book on hikikomori of our house, "The empty bench. Diary of a teenager in extreme confinement, "published by Franco Angeli in 2012

We read in the research on the seven students interviewed: 'L' habit of frequenting pornographic websites has a significant influence on the sexual desire of the young Italian, and 25% of visitors has resulted in sexual behaviors deemed negative. " These are the same guys to realize that something is wrong, to confess (in 3% of cases) their dependence, while over 50% say that they suffer from premature ejaculation.

"Of course - adds Carlo Foresta - there 'is no moral judgment, but it is clear that this generation grew up with the' unconditional access to sexually explicit web, began to show serious problems both physical relationship." 

Francis is 21 years old today, does not have a girlfriend, but finally some "adventure". He says he closed the door of his room when all 'sudden parents are separated. "The web has become my world, there is not suffering, there could love, enjoy, find friends, 'were crazy women with whom to have sex, of course c' was the middle of the screen ... I did not care, it was how to attingerea an excitement continues ... I did not go anymore, I did not care, did not sleep: I had a nervous breakdown, I was admitted to a clinic. It was my salvation. I went back to live with others.

"Fortunately, the number of "disinterested" sex realeè still small. And maybe, who knows, one day the desire of 'the other or of' other may become so strong as to cause them to open the door of their room. But something has changed and Gustavo Pietropolli Charmet, a psychiatrist at the forefront in understanding bambinie guys, invites adults to look at reality. Without turning your head to the 'other side thinking that "maybe will pass." 

"We are witnessing today a sea change in the system of romantic relationships among young people, who have gone from 'romantic love to' narcissistic love. That is a kind of love where everyone tries to satisfy itself, even in pairs. But above all, for them there is no barrier between real and virtual: we adults think of the web as a world of shadows as opposed to the physical world ... ". A metalanguage in short almost incomprensibilea who has more than twenty years'. 2.0 The loves can come and go on the computer in real life, or on the wall of the school start and finish with a text message. 

"Every revolution - says Charmet - poses his questions, and this is a sexual revolution. After all, the web is a free space, where we are shown without barriers, even the timid or the nasty feel of the game, for this is considered to be more exciting. C 'is then an extreme fringe of guys chea fury to train in this solitary eroticism, without a body, if not his own, ends up not being able to live a sex with a real person. " 

But the phenomenon is, in fact, global. And if in Japan, the syndrome of "alienation of carnal intercourse," now affects 35% of young people between 16 and 19 years, who their friends and companions prefer cybersexo inflatable dolls, even in England the virtual sex is now considered a 'emergency.

With a major survey titled "Do you know where your child surfs," the Guardian has launched a campaign to urge parents to control their children who are victims of sexting, solicitations, or dangerously addicted to 'love online. And always in England has started a campaign against the music videos too explicit (see Miley Cyrus), that too would upset the younger members of MTV. 

Emilio Arisi, gynecologist of Sigo (Italian Society of Gynaecology and Obstetrics) the race to take refuge in the shadows of the virtual sexuality by males, may depend in part on the "asymmetry" of maturity between boys and girls in post-adolescence, now more determined than ever. "The boys are scared: 18 years the desire is very strong, but often the same age are not available, there are myths of power and virility. Next to this, c 'is the universe of the internet where everything seems possible, it looks like an escape, especially for the most vulnerable, the least secure. Instead, it happens that the end is the virtual pornography to take the place of concrete relations with a partner. "

In his story-essay on Henry, a young man who chooses the 'autoreclusione in his room, Antonio Piotti describes the steps and stages that gradually lead a teenager to break ties with the outside world. "This is such a massive appeal to sexuality online is the indicator of how well among young Italian the risk of 'autoreclusione is present. It is as if there were two hemispheres: some young people looking at the sites you hard "schools", it's like a practiced 'initiation, then passed to the physical relationship, true. And this also applies to girls. Others isolate themselves, in sexuality as in everything else, what Contae pleasure in itself, the 'altroo the' other do not count.

And day after day you become self-sufficient within the four walls of his room. The outside becomes only virtual. Autoreclusi precisely. "



Sex in young decreases, the desire to blame porn online


In ten years, the sexuality of eighteen Italian has changed a lot: have doubled those who report a sexual disorder, and increased premature ejaculation with little desire and erectile difficulties in the presence of the partner. A problem that vanishes when sex becomes virtual and multimedia

Carlo Foresta, president of the non-profit Forest Foundation and professor of clinical pathology at the University 'of the University of Padova, yesterday presented the project andrology permanent, or a screening program of sexuality' in the very young men, carried out together with the alderman Services Social of the Province of Padua, which so far has involved 10,000 children.

And 'merciless photograph taken by Forest. In ten years, according to the professor and agree to the collected data, the sexuality of eighteen Italian is "changed a lot : have doubled those who report sexual dysfunction, premature ejaculation and together are increased lack of desire and erectile difficulties in the presence of the partner. A problem that vanishes when sex becomes virtual and multimedia. " A problem that does not exist, therefore when the teenager is located just in front of a pc, and on the monitor transmits porn movies erotic images or otherwise.

For students olds last year of high school in the province - and supported by the Province of Padua, ULSS 16, by the University 'di Padova, the Municipality of Padua and the Office of the Provincial School - a project carried out by Forest "There has allowed early detection of a range of issues, but also to understand how and 'changed sexuality' of the very young."

Also according to the data collected during the research, issues such as changes in erectile function and loss of libido, are greatly increased in ten years . On the contrary, during sex chat online, for example, young people "react" better. For Professor Forest is very important "intercept these problems as soon as possible, and to encourage the very young to not live alone with their difficulties, but face them to overcome them."


Teens and Sex online August 5 2014

Sexual dysfunction and pornodipendenza are just some of the risks associated with the alarming rise of teenage "sick" sex online. From the data collected by the Italian Society of Andrology and Medical medicine of sexuality (Siams) and presented at the Festival of Knowledge, Instructional, a picture emerges quite alarming about the dependence of young people from cyber-sex.
25% of teenagers between 14 and 16 years would pass too much time in fact connected to porn sites unsuitable for children under 18 years, with the risk of developing sexual dysfunction, such as premature ejaculation and decreased desire and addiction psychology.

The research shows that since 2005 the number of regulars sites porn has almost doubled: 5000000-8000000 in Italy. Of these, 10% are minors.
Federico Tonioni, director of the Center for psychopathology from web del Policlinico Gemelli in Rome, the author of the manual "Psychopathology mediated web, internet addiction, and new dissociative phenomena" (Springer), commented: "80% of our patients are were just boys aged 12 to 25 years, users of chat rooms, social networks and role-playing games. In young web mediated the relationship can lead to a dissociation of the mind-body relationship. In practice cybersex missing in the training phase: sex via Web puts away by emotions, sensations but also by the problems of the real world. There undresses and makes texting by sending images hard to get refills, but then we live in is embarrassed because it is not real experiences. Here the danger is that of a block, an extreme shyness with others in the flesh, which then leads to a new flight release on the web. "


Porn and Memory  April 1, 2014

... But the problems for pornonauti not seem to end here. According to research from the University of Padova, among young people who make extensive use of pornography on the net, one in four also risks the loss of sexual desire and premature ejaculation. "The kids of today - said the urologist Carlo Foresta, lead author of the study and president of the Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine - are the first generation that has had an experience of sexuality different from previous generations: internet, web cam, chat and images they have created a new form of sexual communication that affects more than 800,000 in a month minors. This experience gives an imprinting no real evidence and builds a media and instinctive sexuality that does not take into account the sensory as well as affectivity. "

The data also shows that more than 12% of the sample of young people do not look real relationships. 25% has declared to suffer from reduced real interest and premature ejaculation and this explains Forest, is because ejaculation occurs in times of movies, which generally on the internet can be over in a few minutes.

Suffering from ED? This Reason May Surprise You, by Michael S Kaplan, MD

Posted on April 15, 2013 by Dr. Michael S Kaplan,

Could pornography be a cause of ED? Most people assume it would have the opposite effect, but recent reports have stated that pornography can indeed be a cause of erectile dysfunction.

The chemical dopamine is responsible for experiencing pleasure, including sexual pleasure. However, when the brain is overloaded with dopamine it loses the ability to respond the way it should, making people less susceptible to feeling pleasure.

Pornographic images have been around for a very long time, but with the Internet it’s possible to access triple-X material easier than ever. Watching too much porn leads to an overproduction of dopamine in the brain, causing less of a response and more dopamine required to achieve an erection.

After exposure to dopamine, the brain needs a chance to allow levels to return to normal, which can take as long as a few months

If you are having problems with ED, visit for more information and to schedule a consultation.

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The Devastating Consequences of Pornography. Dr. Ursula Ofman (2016)

The Devastating Consequences of Pornography

By Richard Simmons III - Sep 27, 2016 - Marriage Personal Growth Relationships

There is a woman who shared with me a story of a couple she knew personally. They were newly married, both virgins on their wedding day. Yet, on the first night of their honeymoon, the husband could not perform sexually. He reluctantly confided that he had been hooked on pornography for years. Can you imagine having such an obstacle being thrown into your marriage on your very first day as husband and wife? Needless to say, the couple’s marriage was not off to the start they had hoped for.

In another scenario, we find supermodel Christie Brinkley, considered by many to be one of the most physically attractive women in the world today and featured three times on the cover of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. Brinkley married architect Peter Cook, who was addicted to a $3,000-a-month porn habit, which may or may not have contributed to his affair with a teenager. Cook was married to one of the most beautiful women in the world but still looked to porn to satisfy his sexual desires, destroying his marriage.

An experienced, well-regarded counselor recently told me that pornography is the 500-pound gorilla in the world of addiction. He commented that it is easy to hide from others, is very difficult to overcome, and can have devastating effects on your relationships and your future sex life. Many young men, and even some young women, are graduating from college heavily addicted to pornography. We are only now beginning to understand how pornography influences regular users, particularly those who have viewed it for a number of years.

There are those supporters who argue that pornography has no effect on individuals who consume it, but that’s like saying people are not influenced by what they see. The advertising industry will gladly tell you, without question, that what you see enters your mind and heart, impacting who you are and what you do.

Sex therapists and educators Wendy and Larry Maltz authored the well-documented book, “The Porn Trap.” The writings share how people are shocked when they first hear about the destructive force of pornography. Many consider it to be harmless fun; it’s not a drug, alcoholic drink or even an actual sexual experience. So, how can it be so destructive? The Maltzes put it this way:

The truth is, using pornography can make you so blind–blind to the power and control it can eventually have over your life. 

Pornography makes a major impact on brain chemistry. It stimulates an area of the brain, known as the “hedonic highway,” whereby the chemical dopamine is released when someone is sexually aroused. Pornography causes a huge spike of dopamine production in the brain. Many researchers believe that the dramatic increase in dopamine caused by the viewing of pornography is similar to that of the high someone experiences when using crack cocaine.

The Maltzes further add:

Porn’s power to produce experiences of excitement, relaxation and escape from pain make it highly addictive. Over time you can come to depend on it to feel good and require it so you don’t feel bad. Cravings, preoccupations and out-of-control behavior with using it can become commonplace. Porn sex can become your greatest need. If you have been using porn regularly to “get high,” withdrawal from porn can be as filled with agitation, depression and sleeplessness, as detoxing from alcohol, cocaine and other hard drugs. In fact, people in porn recovery take an average of 18 months to heal from the damage to their dopamine receptors alone.

Pornography can easily give a person an easy escape from real life and all of its pain, but it creates all types of problems, many of which evolve slowly, so you never see them coming until they are serious. The most alarming consequence is that it causes sexual desire and functioning difficulties, and it often shapes one’s sexual interests in destructive ways.

Naomi Wolf’s New York magazine article, “The Porn Myth,” posts this:

You would think porn would make men into raving beasts. On the contrary, the onslaught of porn is responsible for deadening male libido in relation to real women, and leading men to see fewer and fewer women as porn worthy. Women are not having to fend off porn crazed men, but are having a hard time keeping their attention.

Dr. Ursula Ofman, a Manhattan-based sex therapist, has seen many young men coming in to chat about their porn-related issues.

It’s so accessible, and now, with things like streaming video and webcams, guys are getting sucked into a compulsive behavior. What’s most regrettable is that it can really affect relationships with women. I’ve seen some young men lately who can’t get aroused with women, but have no problem interacting with the Internet.

Journalist Pamela Paul, in her well-researched book, “Pornified,” says:

While some men try to keep pornography and real sex separate in their heads, it’s not so easy; pornography seeps in, sometimes in unexpected ways. The incursion can even lead to sexual problems, such as impotence or delayed ejaculation.

Sex therapist and psychologist Aline Zoldbrod is convinced that a vast number of young men are destined to be terrible lovers because of pornography. Too many men assume women will respond to them as the porn stars do in the videos. Zoldbrod says they are in for a rude awakening and will make horrible lovers because they do not know how to relate to a real woman.

In her book “What Are You Waiting For?,” Dannah Gresh details a common delusion most young people have about pornography: the belief that their issues and problems with porn will go away when they are married. The young women whose fiancés are hooked on porn certainly hope that is true. Gresh says this is the number one question she gets from young people.

“But, the lure of porn is never quenched by marital sex,” Gresh adds, “because porn has almost nothing to do with real love and real sex. It’s as counterfeit as a counterfeit can be.”

In simple terms, author Nate Larkin imparts that pornography corrodes all relationships between men and women because lust kills love. Here is a telling excerpt from Larkin:

Love gives; lust takes. Love sees a person; lust sees a body. Love is about you; lust is about me and my own gratification. Love seeks…knows…respects. Lust couldn’t care less.

The bottom line is this: Porn satisfies lust, not love. Lust is about me and my own satisfaction. In the end, porn destroys relationships and love. Its impact can be devastating.

(If you are a parent with teenagers, I want you to know that they have in all likelihood viewed pornographic videos on their smartphone. I encourage you to be very proactive with your children. I challenge parents to put a healthy fear into the lives of their children by continually sharing with them this kind of teaching.)


The Dr. Oz Show addresses Porn-induced ED

  1. View Part 1 of Can Porn Cause Erectile Dysfunction?
  2. View Part 2 of Can Porn Cause Erectile Dysfunction?
  3. View Part 3 of Can Porn Cause Erectile Dysfunction?
  4. View Part 4 of Can Porn Cause Erectile Dysfunction?


It's clear that all 3 panelists have dealt with porn-induced ED in their clinical practices. The show was about as good as one could expect, except for the comments by sexologist Ian Kerner, who ran an infomercial for porn to close out part 4. How inane is it to ramble on about the virtues of Internet porn at the end of a show about how Internet porn is now causing ED and loss of libido. He stated that 50% of marriages lack spice. Could Internet porn be the cause, rather than the cure, as it was for the couple on the show?

Weaknesses in the segment:

Despite its many strengths, there are some weaknesses in the show:

Age-dependent advice - The couple on the show are married, and not in their early twenties. The doctors assure them that the man will recover his sexual performance within a month of no porn/masturbation. This may be so—assuming the man hasn't developed an addiction. However, most guys need more than a month, and guys who started early on Internet porn can need six to nine months to regain their sexual performance. See Young Porn Users Need Longer To Recover Their Mojo

No mention of addiction - The show ignores the possibility of addiction and its more stubborn, longer-lasting brain changes. Indeed, the sexologist on the panel irresponsibly, and without anything to back up his advice, encourages couples to return to porn use once the man has recovered. Unbelievable. Guys heal from a medical condition caused by Internet porn use, and a porn-loving sexologist tells them to return to its use? As a doctor familiar with addiction noted privately,

"As far as trying to control porn use, it's like trying to control cocaine use. Porn is not evolutionarily developed sex; it is, like cocaine, a supranormal stimulus. As such, it doesn't share well or leave easily. It likes to be the only camel in the tent."

Encouragingly, although the doctors on the panel didn't mention addiction, their explanations about "desensitization" accord with the public statement of the American Society of Addiction Medicine. It's certainly possible that not every guy who experiences porn-related ED has slipped into addiction, but he has definitely experienced brain changes that are "on the addiction slippery slope." Desensitization is an addiction-related brain change.

In any case, if someone has become an addict, he will not only need far longer to recover from the addiction-related brain changes, he is also unlikely ever to be able to use porn safely. If his brain changed in response to extreme stimuli once, there's no reason to think he is bullet-proof if he turns to such stimuli again.

Possible confusion - Although the urologist's explanations were excellent for the most part, he didn't specifically warn guys to stop watching porn during their time-out. While viewers may think that's self-evident, we see guys all the time on r/nofap who willing forego masturbation, but continue watching porn—without seeing any improvement in their symptoms. Dr. Kramer also advised men to consider "masturbating with their non-dominant hand" to improve sensitivity. That is dated advice. Today's young porn users tell us that they all learn to masturbate with their non-dominant hand, so they can mouse with their dominant hand. This is perhaps another indication that their top priority (sexual wiring) is the porn, not masturbation/climax.

No "flatline" warning - As stated earlier, the show doesn't address the fact that most younger men need far longer than a month of no porn/masturbation to reboot their brains. This young guy, for example, discusses how he needed nine months to recover fully.  Worse yet, many young guys go through a "flatline" of no libido, no erections and "shriveled" genitals during their recovery from ED. It can last weeks, or months, and many will be in this phase after just a month. Watching the segment, they might well conclude that they are "broken," when they simply need more time to restore their brain's normal pleasure response.

No discussion of teen brains - Teen brains are hyper-reactive to stimulation, and hyper-plastic. That is, they easily wire to new stimuli. Hopefully, a future Dr. Oz segment will focus on the plight of younger porn users and their symptoms. It's likely that many of their unique problems are related to the fact that they start out on super-stimulating highspeed during a critical period of brain development, and use it for years prior to attempting real sex. In early adulthood, as their brains grow less plastic, some find it tough to respond to real partners. See Adolescent Brain Meets Highspeed Internet Porn

Sexual conditioning - Animal models are demonstrating that high-arousal states (produced by drugs that mimic dopamine) can alter an animal's sexual behavior—even to the point of changing his apparent sexual orientation. Today's highspeed porn encourages overconsumption as never before, and overuse appears to keep dopamine surging to the point of dysregulation in some users. Sure enough, some users are reporting escalation to erotica that doesn't match their sexual orientation. Interestingly, Parkinson's patients who have been prescribed drugs that mimic dopamine also report unexpected sexual tastes and fetishes.

Other symptoms ignored - The show, of course, also doesn't address the many other symptoms guys reverse as they restore their brains to normal: depression, social anxiety, lack of attraction to real partners, concentration problems, lack of motivation, escalation to unexpected porn tastes, and so forth. It is important for those affected to know that Internet porn use may be a factor in diverse symptoms.

Science marches on, and it's great to know that guys—who didn't need Viagra or implants, and whose problems didn't stem from performance anxiety or other emotional issues—are being diagnosed correctly and recovering their sexual performance and peace of mind.

The REAL reason young men suffer from erectile dysfunction, by Anand Patel, MD (2016)

For some, internet porn has replaced the drive to have sex, reveals Dr Anand Patel (link to article)

By Anand Patel 7 September 2016

Erectile dysfunction sounds like an old man issue, right? Wrong. A recent Italian study found 25% of all new patients with severe erectile problems were under 40.

This reinforces what more and more doctors are seeing: physically healthy men without the usual causes of erectile problems, like low testosterone or early heart disease which occur in older age groups, struggling to get it up. 

So what's going on? While illicit drug use and smoking may be to blame, porn use is also significantly higher in the under 40s.

Porn-induced erectile dysfunction

We are starting to uncover why some men have developed 'porn-induced erectile dysfunction' or PIED. I believe that for this group, porn replaces the drive to have 'real' sex. 

Your brain on porn

A brain chemical called dopamine drives us to seek food and to mate. It's produced during activities that are useful to us and aid survival. During sex, the amount of dopamine released is much higher than other everyday pleasures such as eating food or a nice walk. That's because there should be nothing more rewarding than ensuring the survival of your genes! So whilst eating is important and fun, for your evolutionary brain, nothing beats sex.

Looking at images of naked bodies is certainly pleasurable but it's not usually enough to replace the natural brain circuit that rewards physical sex. But pornographic videos are different; there are new changing images all the time.

The high levels of dopamine that the brain begins to release as you surf a variety of porn tells your primitive brain that this is really rewarding activity and that you should do it again and again.

Misery of addiction

It's why some porn users eventually prefer internet porn to actual sex. And, as with many addictions, you begin to experience less pleasure with actions that were previously enjoyable — so the search begins for something new.

Porn-related masturbation

It's true that the sexual experience of porn-related masturbation is significantly different to the reality of sex with another person. Why?

Well firstly, using your imagination or a single image — for example a naked woman in Playboy — is very unlikely to stimulate enough dopamine release over a long period to override the real-life sexual urge, unlike the response some men develop to online pornography. 

But also, masturbation often uses a different form of grip to penetrative or oral sex and a different part of the penis may be stimulated, and with much greater pressure, and in many without lubrication. It's often why men lose their erections during sex or can't achieve orgasm without masturbating themselves. Their brains have learnt that higher levels of pressure and sensation are required to be aroused and more so to get to orgasm.  So you can have great sex with yourself but fail to maintain an erection with an attractive partner.

For the other partner this can be upsetting — sometimes they feel their mate is having an affair or they themselves are not attractive enough.

Unrealistic expectations

Early exposure to porn reduces the satisfaction rate in teens with their relationships and their partners according to studies (particularly those conducted in the US).

From discussions I've had with younger adults teaching sex ed, there is a greater expectation that women have hairless bodies, men have enormous penises and that anal sex and ejaculating over someone face is a norm, when this is not actually the case. And some doctors say peyronie's disease where microfractures of the penile shaft cause a curvature due to scarring is on the increase, in young men likely due to the vigorous thrusting young people are picking up from porn.

When you then try and have 'real' sex, the dopamine reward is lower. It means there are fewer signals going from the brain down the spinal cord to the penis.

And if there's less nerve triggering of your penis, there's less blood flow so you become brain impotent rather than having a genital problem.

Many men then take medicine to compensate and help their penis work better. But as Viagra only restores genital blood flow in the presence of adequate nerve supply — so your brain needs to be firing — they don't work very well — or for long.

Break the cycle with penile rehab

So how do you solve this vicious cycle and break out of PIED?

Treat PIED same as you would any addiction: stop the stimulus. This means no porn including erotic literature – this embargo includes semi-naked bodies on Instagram for some people who are severely affected. It's tough to do, especially the first few days as the cravings are really strong. But these usually rapidly fade and there's a week or so of return of libido and confidence.

Men usually find that following this they then have a period where they lose their libido significantly, they don't get erections, or even notice their penises are smaller than normal even when not excited. This is because there is no nerve stimulation from the brain via your porn-preferred circuits going down the spinal cord to plump the organ up. 

This period can last a few weeks and is often the time when men return to porn as this worries them so much. BUT it's completely normal. In your brain, the porn-induced circuits are slowly withering due to lack of use and the low dopamine levels mean there is a lack of excitement and pleasure at this stage.

Why does recovery take so long?

This porn-based brain circuit that you've been triggering day after day for months or years has to be dismantled and the old circuits have to start firing again.

And the longer you've been watching porn and especially the younger you started makes a big difference as to how long it takes for recovery.

Gradually, morning erections, desire and erections that even occur spontaneously begin to return. Desire for real sexual partners begins to come back.

Some men recover to 'normal' sexual circuit functioning within several weeks although lots of masturbation will actually slow this recovery down.

Others may take several months — again those that started on internet porn young and have used it a long time are slowest to recover.

Whilst it is difficult to withdraw from pornography, the return of normal sexual excitement and erectile function is totally possible without medication.

This is a key message – some patients are so desperate and have had such significant ED and failure of tablets like Viagra - that they are offered surgical penile implants.

Whilst this may be considered in a small, very select group of patients, perhaps medical professionals are not exploring the real possibility of psychological brain impotence.

It's tough to get out of the cycle of porn surfing and get back to reality but it can be done.

Sites like are brilliant at explaining why PIED happens and how to get out of porn use. Do speak with your doctor - most areas have psychosexual therapists on the NHS that can help with PIED or see


The black and white of blue films: How porn addiction damages relationships. by Sandip Deshpande, MD (2016)

The black and white of blue films: How porn addiction damages relationships

A couple struggles to consummate their marriage. A young man is unhappy with his partner’s lack of engagement in certain sexual activities. A young woman is unsatisfied with her partner’s knowledge of how to touch her in bed. All of it as a result of expecting reel over reality.

Pornography is the depiction of sexual activity, sexual organs or sexual experiences. Research has shown that while men are more prone to watch films, women are more likely to engage in an online sexual encounter, popularly known as cyber-sex.

The evolution of pornography has followed the same path as that of technology. Whenever a medium was invented, pornography became available in it. In the 1830s it was photographs; in the 1900s, blue films entered the cinemas; In the 1970s the VCR helped one watch a porno in the comfort of their homes.

It may have grown slightly when personal computers and CDs became items in every household but since the advent of the internet, there has been an unprecedented growth in the use of pornography.

A scientific paper by Al Cooper and his colleagues in 1998 describes this as a result of a Triple-A Engine effect which is the combination of accessibility, affordability and anonymity. With access to internet now available at our finger tips with high speed wifi and smart phones, people are now watching pornography a lot more easily. This is what makes internet pornography stand apart from its earlier mediums.

Is it okay to watch pornography?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with watching pornography as an adult. It can work as a great stimulus for self-pleasuring and can help individuals and couples explore different ways to pleasure themselves.

It is also completely alright not to enjoy pornography. Some like and some don’t. Contrary to popular belief, women also do watch pornography. It is not an activity that is restricted to one gender. However, it is imperative that children not be exposed to it as an early exposure to sex can have negative effects on them.

Watching pornography can be a pleasurable activity especially when combined with masturbation. But it is this characteristic of pornography that causes it to become an object of addiction. Much like drugs, alcohol or gambling, one can develop a dependency on watching pornography.

Drug addiction happens because the body begins to enjoy the chemical released in the brain during drug use. This has been tested on rats and confirmed. Although there is no way to really test porn addiction on rats, it has been observed that large amounts of dopamine are released in the brain when one watches pornography. It is this dopamine that one may crave when they fall into porn addiction.

Porn addiction

Much like other addictions, porn addiction tends to interfere with life. If you are watching pornography in a healthy way, it is not likely to have a negative impact on your life or relationships. But if you are experiencing any of the following due to your porn habits, it would be important to consider the role of pornography in your life.

  • Watching porn excessively until it interferes with daily life and responsibilities
  • Spending more time watching porn or looking for other types of porn that can stimulate you because arousal has become difficult
  • Feeling a sense of withdrawal when you are unable to watch porn
  • Continuing to use it even after it is negatively impacting your life
  • Compulsive masturbation
  • Sexual dysfunctions like premature ejaculation or impotence
  • Inability to get aroused by a partner or decrease in sexual activity with partner
  • Watching porn as a way to change your mood (treating it like a high)

There are a number of ways in which porn addiction can affect individuals and those in relationships. Young men who have never had a real sexual encounter may begin to have really high expectations that are far from reality. When they do engage in sexual activity, this distortion of reality can cause a lack of arousal and performance.

In some cases one may get used to watching a very specific genre of pornography like bondage, cuckoldry (where the woman is dominating the male), swinging (group sex or swapping) or even a foot fetish. This can cause them to not be aroused unless these conditions are met.

Often, in relationships, spouses or partners may see the dependency on porn as a sense of betrayal. It could interfere with not just the sexual activity between the couple but also cause body image and self-esteem issues.

When it comes to families, there is a risk of children being exposed to the pornography and this could hamper not only the child but also the dynamics of the entire family.

Why pornography distorts reality

There are so many portals for pornography, even for different kinds of fetishes. It is a market much like any other with the intention of making as much revenue as possible. There are multiple camera angles in use and there is a lot of editing involved. Everything from the bodies of the porn-stars to the sexual activity shown in the film is designed as it is to play into the viewer’s mind-set.

It is heightened fantasy and much of the real sex in private bedrooms is nothing like it. For example, girl on girl pornography which is a very popular genre often shows women with long nails and women inserting stiletto heels into their vaginas. In reality, this is far from what happens between lesbians.

A lot of pornography has been made keeping a male audience as the target. This brings two issues to the table. One is that very little of the films focus on what pleasures the woman. Secondly, it normalises certain activities that aren’t as common as we think. For example, oral sex, anal sex and ejaculation on women are common in most pornographic films but may not be welcomed by a partner in real life.

Yes, there is BDSM and yes, there are people who indulge in oral sex, anal sex and may like being ejaculated on. Pornography can be a great way for couples to explore the world of sex and find new ways to pleasure themselves. But consent and communication always come first.

This is a part of the Sexual Health series bought to you by The News Minute in association with Happy Relationships. Happy Relationships is an enterprise that works in the field of sexual health and relationship wellness.


The insidious impact of internet porn. by Rose Laing MD (2016)

By Rose LaingWednesday 12 October 2016, 10:45AM

Christchurch GP Rose Laing finds it is time to add internet porn addiction to her checklist of pathologies

The checklists of patholo­gies we should be thinking about in primary care seem to get longer by the day, but I am adding a new one to mine – internet porn addic­tion and its consequences.

I thought I knew about the dangers of pornogra­phy. I had talked about it many months ago with the teenager in the context of a friend of his, a previously stellar student, who had a problem, was staying up half the night online and was starting to fail at school.

We had discussed the differences between porn, ordinary sex and making love, as well as the whole objectification line of argu­ment, and he had told me most of his friends consid­ered porn was for losers.

Mother was content with this but things change, and now my son tells me most of his friends regularly ac­cess porn and feel unwilling, or even unable, to stop. He is, rather bravely, doing a school speech on why porn is bad for everyone and has shown me the talks online that he has used as research to support his argument.

They make disturbing viewing.

On top of this, porn remains an abusive, exploit­ative industry which makes huge money for a few, and destroys the lives of many.

It is so easy for kids (and I do mean kids; US studies suggest that 90 per cent of children have viewed porn by the time they are age 12) to click on sites that take them into a violently distorted view of human sexuality.

Parents who check the histories of their children’s browsing can easily be fooled by sites that don’t leave a trace. It is simple to navigate from the entry-level porn sites to increasingly fetishist and violent sites as “ordinary” porn loses its allure.

Porn taps into the same dopamine-release axis as many hard-core drugs. As in other addictions, tolerance and salience develop, so that searching for the increas­ingly exotic thrill becomes the norm; available at a keystroke on a mobile phone.

Side effects can include depression, anxiety, ADHD-like presentations, and erec­tile dysfunction is common.

Even for those who are not addicted, porn provides a disturbing role as a sex education tool for teens. The entire focus of porn is genital/orifice contact. Porn stars don’t speak, except to issue instructions, don’t caress, kiss, relax or laugh together. How does watching this kind of mate­rial set up young men or women for any kind of intimacy?

Disastrous impact on early sexual experiences

Teacher friends tell me that porn im­pacts disastrous­ly on the early forays into sexual contact between teens.

Young women are repelled or traumatised by what they seem to be expected to tolerate, and many young men are more bewildered than ever by the difference between what they think sex should be and the need for emotional intimacy from their partners.

On top of this, porn remains an abusive, exploit­ative industry which makes huge money for a few, and destroys the lives of many.

I still haven’t quite worked out how to bring my new awareness of this problem into a general practice context without frightening off patients, but it is certainly something I would consider raising with a young (or not so young) man who presents with depression, insomnia, anxiety or rela­tionship issues.

Read more blogs from Rose Laing at



This Is How Therapists Treat Young Men With "Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction". Sex therapist Alinda Small, clinical sexologist Tanya Koens, psychotherapist Dan Auerbach (2017)

"Their sexual script has become someone else's story so they can't build their own fantasy."

Posted on September 13, 2017 Gina Rushton BuzzFeed news reporter, Australia (link to original article)

Dominic* was 12 years old when he first watched porn online and masturbated.

"Up until two months ago I browsed [porn] at least two hours a day," the 28-year-old from Sydney's west told BuzzFeed News.

"I had watched loads of hardcore stuff beyond any normal person's vilest imagination.

"I had probably masturbated to everything that wasn't in the rape or paedophilia genre."

By Dominic's estimate, he had watched more than 6,000 hours of porn online before his first real-life sexual encounter in his early 20s.

"I realised it was a problem when I started having sex with the girl of my dreams and I just simply couldn't perform as well as I should."

He had trouble getting aroused and ejaculated prematurely.

"With extreme embarrassment and confusion I did some research and found others who are experiencing similar problems," he said.

Dominic connected with other young men on Reddit who "encourage each other" to abstain from masturbating to porn.

"I have tried in earnest to stop watching porn all together for about two months now," he said.

What has been termed "porn-induced erectile dysfunction" is the inability to get or maintain an erection during sexual activity because of a high exposure to pornography.

A recent Victorian study of 15 to 29 year olds found almost 70% of males surveyed had watched porn for the first time at age 13 or younger and most (84%) young men and 19% of young women watched pornography on a daily or weekly basis.

"So between the ages of 11 and 17 they're watching an average of two to four hours a week and if they're having their first sexual experience at 17, they have a bachelors degree in porn before they've even had their first sexual encounter," Sydney relationship counsellor and sex therapist Alinda Small told BuzzFeed News.

"I deal with porn addiction with young men who can't actually leave the house because they spend five or six hours a day watching it, sometimes with two or three screens open."

"I have so many clients in their early 20s who call me and say they have erectile dysfunction and it is related to porn use."

There were two main ways that porn could disrupt a man's sexual dysfunction within their relationship, Small said.

"They might be able to have intimacy with their male or female partner but when it gets to the point of penetration they actually lose their erection because porn shows this unrealistic expectation of having a huge erection and keeping it for a long time," she said.

"The male ego is incredibly fragile sexually."

The other issue associated with porn addiction was the development of an "idiosyncratic masturbation technique".

"If you're used to really pulling hard on your penis no vagina or even anus will replicate that sort of friction and that hardness."

When Small asks her clients "what is your sexual fantasy?" she said she is often met with silence.

"Generations ago they would have looked at Playboy and made up their own stories but men, in particular, can't do that anymore," she said.

"When they watch so much porn, their sexual script has become someone else's story so they can't build their own fantasy."

Small asked some clients to masturbate with a picture instead, but complete abstinence was "sad and not necessary" so it was healthy to masturbate around every three days.

Porn also distorts the expectations that young women place on themselves, Small said.

"Their model of normalcy is looking at pictures of no pubic hair and perfect labias and they now ask for it hard and fast because they think that is normal."

*Angus first masturbated to online pornography when he was 13 years old.

“When I was at the height of my addiction I was having anywhere from four to eight porn masturbation orgasm (PMO) sessions a day," the 27-year-old told BuzzFeed News.

He noticed his tastes changed over the next decade.

“It started out pretty tame, vanilla hetero sex and girl-on-girl,” he said.

“Eventually it evolved into [female dominance], transsexual porn and gay porn.”

Once he became sexually active at 16, Angus found it difficult to orgasm.

“I never really enjoyed sex when I was masturbating to porn because sex in real life isn’t as hardcore as it is in porn," he said.

“It is like going from a rollercoaster to a swing-set.”

After reading a few studies online, Angus decided at age 25 that his obsession with porn was affecting him “mentally and sexually”.

Angus hasn’t watched porn for the past 20 days.

“I went 170 days at the start of this year, but relapsed.”

“Porn is very addictive and I’ve experienced withdrawal symptoms from quitting.”

“This will sound ridiculous but I would recommend smoking cigarettes over masturbating to pornography.”

Since he started masturbating without pornography, Angus has noticed his erections are “thicker and more solid”.

"The touch and the sight of a real woman is much more exciting to me now that I’ve quit."

Clinical sexologist Tanya Koens said she saw patients with a range of sexual dysfunction issues which arose due to the regularity with which they masturbated to porn.

"Because porn is so readily available these men go down a porn rabbit hole where they look at this and this and this and they end up spending a long time in a heightened state of arousal and it takes a long time to get themselves off," Koens told BuzzFeed News.

She also referred to patients who had an "idiosyncratic masturbation style" which couldn't be replicated with a "soft, warm, squidgy human": "You'd fuck them into the headboard if you tried it with a partner."

"Basically, I get them to masturbate standing up and for every minute they are looking at the porn for 10 seconds they have to look away and think about their body and not the screen," she said.

"It is an embodiment technique that gets people out of their head and into their body which is where the fun is."

Koens sometimes asks clients "masturbate with their other hand" and also does "breath and movement work" based on tantric principles.

Pornography involving "extreme savage sexual imagery" was distorting men's understanding of "how female bodies work".

"People are thinking that they have to go at it like porn stars and it is a surefire way to make sure they have not very good sex," she said.

"It is very cock-centric sex and it is not healthy or what is going to keep their girlfriends interested for more than three months."

The female partners of her clients often took the sexual dysfunction personally and were left feeling "unloved and unsexy", Koens said.

But porn wasn't a substitute for sex, she said: "These men are never comparing their girlfriend to images of women in porn it is not a replacement or a comparison to their existing sex life."

Some people "never find their way back to their partner" from constant porn use, Dan Auerbach, psychotherapist and relationship counsellor at Associated Counsellors and Psychologists Sydney told BuzzFeed News

"The sexual energy has been taken elsewhere and a hostile truce becomes an unspoken staying away from each other or sex becomes very mechanical and this becomes the norm," he said.

"Porn addiction can have a lot in common with gambling because you have this limitless smorgasbord and variety of stimulation that you can see actor's facials, noises, shapes, colours and sizes and gambling devices are built to give you incremental rewards which you wait and seek out."

"But pornography, like drug-induced sex, can give us a quick win and relieve a lot of frustration but like all things that are ever more exciting in small doses we become desensitised to them and it spoils the soup."

*The names of the men interviewed for this article have been changed to address their privacy concerns.

Gina Rushton is a breaking news reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in Sydney.

Contact Gina Rushton at



Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”, Vanity Fair (2015)

COMMENTS: Although this srticle is about Tinder, a few excerpts reveal the commonality of porn's influence, including porn-induced erectile dysfunction.



The rain comes down harder, and they move inside to the living room, which has a couch, a coffee table, and tie-dyed tapestries everywhere. The talk turns to sex again:
“A lot of guys are lacking in that department,” says Courtney with a sigh. “What’s a real orgasm like? I wouldn’t know.”
They all laugh knowingly.
“I know how to give one to myself,” says Courtney.
“Yeah, but men don’t know what to do,” says Jessica, texting.
“Without [a vibrator] I can’t have one,” Courtney says. “It’s never happened” with a guy. “It’s a huge problem.”
“It is a problem,” Jessica concurs.
They talk about how it’s not uncommon for their hookups to lose their erections. It’s a curious medical phenomenon, the increased erectile dysfunction in young males, which has been attributed to everything from chemicals in processed foods to the lack of intimacy in hookup sex.
If a guy can’t get hard,” Rebecca says, “and I have to say, that happens a lot, they just act like it’s the end of the world.”
“At four in the morning this guy was so upset, and I was like, Dude, I’ll just go to fucking sleep—it’s O.K.,” says Sarah, 21, the one with the long curly dark hair. “I get really tired of faking.”
According to multiple studies, women are more likely to have orgasms in the context of relationships than in uncommitted encounters. More than twice as likely, according to a study done by researchers at the Kinsey Institute and Binghamton University.
When I see limp dicks coming at me I’m like, Oh my God,” says Courtney, putting her fingers in the sign of a cross, as if to ward off a vampire.
They laugh.
“It would be great if they could just have the ability to perform and not come in two seconds,” says Rebecca.
“I think men have a skewed view of the reality of sex through porn,” Jessica says, looking up from her phone. “Because sometimes I think porn sex is not always great—like pounding someone.” She makes a pounding motion with her hand, looking indignant.
“Yeah, it looks like it hurts,” Danielle says.
Like porn sex,” says Jessica, “those women—that’s not, like, enjoyable, like having their hair pulled or being choked or slammed. I mean, whatever you’re into, but men just think”—bro voice—“ ‘I’m gonna fuck her,’ and sometimes that’s not great.”
“Yeah,” Danielle agrees. “Like last night I was having sex with this guy, and I’m a very submissive person—like, not aggressive at all—and this boy that came over last night, he was hurting me.”
They were quiet a moment.

Too Much Internet Porn May Cause Impotence. Urology professor Carlo Foresta (2011)

Porn effects may include erectile dysfunction

February, 2011

It may not make you go blind, but Italian scientists have identified a worrying side-effect of watching too much pornography.

Researchers said Thursday that young men who indulge in "excessive consumption" of Internet porn gradually become immune to explicit images, the ANSA news agency reported.

Over time, this can lead to a loss of libido, impotence and a notion of sex that is totally divorced from real-life relations.

"It starts with lower reactions to porn sites, then there is a general drop in libido and in the end it becomes impossible to get an erection," said Carlo Foresta, head of the Italian Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine (SIAMS).

His team drew their conclusions from a survey of 28,000 Italian men which revealed that many became hooked on porn as early as 14, exhibiting symptoms of so-called "sexual anorexia" by the time they reached their mid-twenties.

There was some good news, however, as the condition was not necessarily permanent. "With proper assistance recovery is possible within a few months," Foresta said.

Other data presented at the SIAM'S annual conference in Rome suggested that Germans are the biggest consumers of online porn in Europe, with 34.5 percent of internet users logging on to watch smut.

France ranked second (33.6 percent), ahead of Spain (32.4 percent) and Italy (28.9 percent).

An Italian source included further statistics:  Of the most frequent users, 73% were men. Some people, 3.9%, start before they turn 13, rising to 5.9% in the 14-18 age bracket, 22.1% in the 25-34 bracket and 25.4% between the ages of 35 and 44. This falls off to 20.1% between 45 and 54 and declines to 12% among the over-55s.

Links to other articles on the SIAMS survey:

  1. Link to an Italian article on this survey
  2. Link to another Italian version
  3. Link to another Italian version
  4. Link to another Italian version
  5. Link to another Italian version



Since Feburary 2011, Dr. Foresta continues to study the effects of porn on men's sexuality and report his findings.

  • For example, the two articles below came out in 2012.
  • This 2014 PDF of a Foresta lecture, contains more observations and statistics, including a dramatic rise in percentage of teens reporting sexual problems and loss of libido. Foresta also mentions his upcoming study, "Sexuality media and new forms of sexual pathology sample 125 young males, 19-25 years". Italian name - "Sessualità mediatica e nuove forme di patologia sessuale Campione 125 giovani maschi"


Pornographic sites, warning young people: Italian is a two-user to adjust

ROME - Sex on the web? This can result in disorders of the intimate sphere, fantasies and impulses obsessive-compulsive disorder. A risk a young man out of two, which usually imbambola front of pornographic sites. About 60% of teenagers between 19 and 25 years old approached by the project for the prevention of Andrology Androlife (4,000 on the whole Italian territory), organized by the Italian Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine (Siams), has claimed to be a constant user of "hot site". The data were disclosed to the X National Conference of Siams going to Lecce.

The widespread habit among children ranges from 2 times a month to several times a week, with an average stay of 16 minutes in front of the monitor. The working group led by Carlo Foresta, head of the Service for the Pathology of Human Reproduction of the Hospital University of Padova, showed that 75% of users of portals with explicit sex scenes finds them stimulants, 14% is a 'habitual visitor of these sites and 3% complaint already an addiction. The team compared the Paduan real sexuality of these young users to porn sites with non-users.

What emerged was a different sexual behavior, in real life, between the two categories. The non-users 83% have a normal activity under the sheets, compared with only 70% of the users. Obvious differences in the loss of desire (13% vs 1% of the users of the other), the precocity of orgasm (13% of internet porn vs 9%). Among the most frequent visitors shows that 20% say multiple masturbatory activity even in the same day.

Addiction is not only visual, but going to take on the characteristics of sexual addiction real, caused by sexuality in the media. The young people who attend most internet sites have auto-eroticism more stringent, but less frequently seek forms of sexuality real. Sexuality media and behavioral consequences that can result from this new form of intimate relationships have been studied by the group led by Forest, who has analyzed the consequences of assiduous study of pornographic sites by comparing the habits of 2,000 adults aged between 20 and 35 with those of about 2,000 young 18 years.

Result: young people are more at risk of suffering the consequences of navigation red light on the Net. Analysis of data shows indeed a substantial difference of modes of behavior between adults and children. In adults, the study of sexuality media expresses a volunteer and stimulating sexual behavior, while in the young 18 year olds attendance is seen as routine and normal in 10% of cases reaching the traits of obsessive addiction. In young people frequenting pornography sites leads to a reduction of the search for real sexuality and a major activity of auto eroticism that in some cases assumes pathological features. Both young people and adults the excessive use of multimedia sexuality causes, compared to non-users, diseases of the sexual response in 25% of cases that occur with anorexia sex, orgasm disorders, erectile dysfunction.

17 November 2012 14:03 - Last Updated:


Online Sex: adolescents and women increasingly at risk addiction

Mariateresa Marino

More than seven million Italians who surf the sites and enjoying hard porn content: a number equal to 29 percent of total navigators.A fact that has seen an increase of 58 percent within five years.The Italian Society of Andrology Medical and Medicine of sexuality came from these numbers to make a specific investigation, monitoring between 2005 and 2010 a sample of 28 000 users, to analyze the impact that addiction has on porn sites sexual health.The study, led by Professor Charles Forest, President of the Siamsa and professor of Clinical Pathology at the University of Padua, was born, as the urologist says "the need to include a new clinical phenomenon, which involves mainly young people under 25 years: sexual anorexia ".

It appears from the Siamsa shows that the target of the navigation is in 73 percent of male cases in the remaining 27 percent female.The age group 'involved is that between 24 and 44 years."But the most worrying - Forest report - is that 10 percent of frequent online sex under 18 years. The initiation into the porn sites is already 14 years, the habit becomes very widespread from 25 to peaked between 35 and 44 years and then decline gradually. "

"Of the 50 boys who have come to our clinics for diseases of sexuality, decreased libido and erectile dysfunction - continues Professor Forest - 70 percent for years had the habit of frequenting pornographic sites very driven. The use of such everyday slowed the ripening brain images of sexuality, freed sex from affectivity and, even worse, canceled the real interest in sexuality. "

Sexuality on the Internet is cold and repetitive, kills fantasy and desire."Sexual Anorexia - explains Professor Forest - is a disorder in which completely lacks sexual desire, but not only. The person who suffers from an addiction to porn virtual, is devoid of erotic fantasies and physical stimuli. This is even more serious when you are dealing with teenagers who already suffer from these disorders, since the maturation of sexuality and emotional brain undergoes a sudden stop and a block that is likely to continue for years. "

Getting rid of the addiction?

"In our clinics we have experienced as a change in behavior of these young people had significant improvements: the complete abandonment of the sites hard, accompanied by the reading of books focusing on the relationship between sexuality, affectivity and imagination has contributed to the strengthening of a sexual healthy and responsible. "

The study of Siamsa joins previous research studies conducted by the Centre on the new dependencies "Nostos" of Senigallia, on a sample of 500 people."Very often in the scientific literature in Cybersex addiction, is also included in the pathological use of pornographic material online or Cyber-Porn Addiction - explains Lavenia, psychiatrist and head of the center Nostos - is important, however, to separate the two because sexual addiction In our opinion, the two antithetical phenomena have certain characteristics: interactivity in Cybersex, Cyber-Porn in liabilities. In the first case there is a preference for erotic chat, in the second users are attracted primarily by pornographic images. "

"These two phenomena - Lavenia added - there are also gender differences. From our studies has always emerged more women in chat rooms and greater male interest in pornography. In particular, in the category Cybersex addiction, 60 percent of users are women between 27 and 36 years, heterosexual, married (68%), university students (37%). Cyberporn In the category, 80 percent are male between 17 and 46 years, married and, in most cases, professionals. In general, we can say that in recent years, the female sex-dependence on the network has grown by 10-15 percent. "

One thing, this was also confirmed by a recent survey conducted by Quit Porn Addiction, a portal for those who abuse counseling in the pathological form of online porn.According to data from the UK site, including users who turn to the service, one in three are women, with an increasingly lower age threshold: teens, twenties, students and young workers.A subtle trap in which more and more women are likely to remain trapped.


NOTE: A few old blogs from 2011 continue to state that Dr. Foresta doesn't exist, and that the first press release is a hoax. As you can see from the above updates, and Dr Foresta's 2014 published lecture, the aforementioned blog posts are a hoax. Dr. Carlo Foresta is real (see this pubmed search) as is the conference described in the 2011 articles. In addition, the Parliamentary Assembly of the Council of Europe quoted and cited the 2011 survey in this motion for a resolution. Watch The Young Turks discuss this survey.

The Italian urologists are no longer alone as many other medical professionals are beginning to treat men who have porn-induced sexual dysfunction, see- Porn-Induced ED in the Media: Primarily Experts

Too Much Internet Porn: The SADD Effect, by Ian Kerner PhD. (2013)

Too Much Internet Porn: The SADD Effect

By Ian Kerner

Easy access to internet porn and the sheer variety of novelty it contains have affected average guys who wouldn’t normally have a problem.

As a sex therapist and founder of Good in Bed, I’ve seen a sharp increase in men who suffer from a new syndrome I’ve dubbed “Sexual Attention Deficit Disorder,” or SADD. And the source of this problem is just a click away — too much internet porn.

Just as people with ADD are easily distracted, guys with SADD have become so accustomed to the high levels of visual novelty and stimulation that comes from internet porn that they’re unable to focus on real sex with a real woman. As a result, guys with SADD often find it difficult to maintain an erection during intercourse, or they experience delayed ejaculation and can only climax with manual or oral stimulation.

Bored in bed?

Men with SADD tend to find themselves getting bored or impatient during sex. They may be physiologically aroused and erect, but they’re not at peak mental arousal. Guys with SADD may also simply lack the mojo for real sex because they’re depleted from masturbation. They’re not running on a full tank, physically or mentally.

Believe it or not, I first became aware of SADD via the complaints of women who wondered why their guys couldn’t ejaculate (and were often faking it) or who noticed that their partners seemed disconnected or uninterested during sex. When I dug a little deeper, or talked to the guys themselves, I realized that these men were masturbating more than usual due to their easy access to internet porn. Sometimes, they were masturbating about the same as always, but hadn’t realized that their natural refractory period — the recovery time between erections — was increasing as they aged.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of masturbation. It helps a guy blow off some steam and is like a 30-second spa day. But easy access to internet porn and the sheer variety of novelty it contains have affected average guys who wouldn’t normally have a problem. Because of this, these men have rewired their brains to crave the instant gratification of a porn-enabled orgasm. This means that they’re developing what’s clinically referred to as an idiosyncratic masturbatory style: They’ve accustomed themselves to an intense type of physical stimulation that’s not approximated during real sex. Their overall levels of sexual desire for their partners are down, and they need to fantasize during real sex in order to maintain a full erection.

Think you suffer from SADD? Here's what to do...

What’s a guy with SADD to do?

First, give yourself a masturbation break. Save your mojo for your partner. If you’re single, decrease your frequency of masturbation. When you do masturbate, try using your non-dominant hand. For example, if you’re a righty, touch yourself with your left. You won’t be able to apply the same levels of physical intensity as you can with your dominant hand, so you won’t be as physically numbed to the sensations of intercourse.

Second, lay off the porn. When you masturbate, use your mind to create the pictures and try to recall single episodes of sex. Think of it as the difference between reading and watching TV. Use this opportunity to reconnect with your erotic history and your own catalog of sexy memories.

Increase the mental novelty with your partner: Share fantasies and experiment with role play. Before you have intercourse, get yourself to a point where you’re at peak physical and mental arousal. SADD doesn’t have to be sad for you or your partner. Step away from your computer and toward your bedroom, and you can put your attention back where it belongs — on your real sex life.

Ian Kerner, Ph.D, is a sexuality counselor and The New York Times best-selling author of numerous books for Harper Collins, including She Comes First. He is the founder of and most recently authored a guide to overcoming premature ejaculation.

Too Much Porn Contributing to ED: Urologist Fawad Zafar

Urologist Des Moines: Too Much Porn Contributing to ED

 Your Des Moines urologist Dr. Fawad Zafar warns that addiction to porn is contributing to an increase in the number of healthy, young men seeking medical treatment for erectile dysfunction (ED).

Porn-induced ED (PIED) is a comparatively new problem affecting a generation of men who have grown up with unlimited access to explicit pornographic material.  And having unrestricted access to the maximum stimulus that pornography provides can lead to a number of sexual dysfunctions, according to your urologist Des Moines.

Hundreds of men struggling with PIED have reported experiencing this problem in online addiction forums, some of which are receiving millions of hits per day.

A rising number of young men are turning to Viagra to rectify the problem, but the effort often proves useless because the real issue with PIED reigns in the brain. The problem is that the hormone released that enables that pleasurable state is part of the reward circuit in the brain and it can become desensitized to triggers.

Your urologist Des Moines explains that the compulsive need to find a better stimulus means that the brain’s pleasure center becomes numbed to sexual experiences that are considered to be normal, resulting in a lack of arousal and erectile issues with partners in real life.

Many men sharing their experiences online have spoken of similar issues, explaining that their addiction has resulted in feelings of isolation, depression and a lack of confidence.

As a result, men suffering from PIED and addiction are encouraging each other to quit the habit and begin rewiring their brain into being stimulated by natural sexual triggers.  Those in the back-to-basics stage have reported much higher sensitivity to more understated sexual triggers such as touch and smell.

Many others have told your urologist Des Moines that the ‘rebooting’ journey as life-changing, as it affects not only their sex lives, but their entire self-esteem.  Good sex should be about having fun, it’s about being able to express yourself and share yourself in a safe, loving, exciting or tender way; it’s not about imitating what you see on a computer screen.

Posted on May 14, 2014 – 6:36 pm in Erectile Dysfunction

Too much porn can lead to ED, Malaysian men warned. Clinical andrologist Dr Mohd Ismail Mohd Tambi (2016)

Link to article and video

Clinical andrologist Dr Mohd Ismail Mohd Tambi says the number of young and middle aged men suffering from porn-induced ED is rising. - Filepic

KUALA LUMPUR: Many Malaysian men are unaware that excessive pornography consumption can lead to erectile dysfunction (ED).

Clinical andrologist Dr Mohd Ismail Mohd Tambi said there has been an increase in the number of men who view porn excessively and are unable to perform or enjoy sex with their partners.

“What happens is that, they get turned on and reach a height, and then it slows down and dies. After sometime, this leads to sexual exhaustion,” he said in an exclusive interview with Astro AWANI.

“I have patients from Terengganu and Kelantan who tell me that they view pornography as a cure to their ED. They don’t realise, pornography is making their condition worse,” he said.

Dr Mohd Ismail said the number of young and middle aged men suffering from porn-induced ED is also on the rise. Dr Mohd Ismail said there are many misconceptions about pornography, especially among those living in rural areas. Many Malaysian men are unaware that excessive pornography consumption can lead to erectile dysfunction.

Online video portal Pornhub in 2014 reported that people from Kuala Terengganu were the top pornography viewers in the country, followed by Kuala Lumpur and Kota Bahru.

Meanwhile, TIME magazine earlier this year reported that 46% of men and 16% of women aged 18 to 39, intentionally view pornography in any given week.

According to the report, in 1992, about 5% of men suffered from ED at the age of 40.

By 2013, the figure had gone up to 26%.

And a 2012 Swiss study reported that one-third of younger men, aged 18 to 25, struggled with ED.

Apart from citing medical reasons for the rising ED among younger men, the report also noted that pornography was also to be blamed.

Torn on porn: A look at addiction & pornography. Dr. Charlotte Loppie, University of Victoria Professor in the School of Public Health (2016)

Where do we draw the line between overuse and addiction in an internet-obsessed culture? Charlotte Loppie, a UVic Professor in the School of Public Health, Social Policy, and Community-Based Aboriginal Health Research, has recently noticed a significant increase in the number of male students seeking advice about erectile dysfunction in relationships due to extensive viewing of online pornography.

Internet porn can be “eventually desensitizing material,” Loppie explains, because the “rapid fire stimulation” of unrealistic explicit content leaves the viewer unable to become aroused by sex with a real person.

One case of this phenomenon is self-proclaimed porn addict and fourth-year Creative Writing major, Spencer Thompson, who addressed Loppie about his personal experience with addiction last year. Loppie says Thompson was her first encounter with a case precisely like Thompson’s but adds, “I’ve had students contacting me for years who have struggled with this.”

Thompson explains that his interest in porn began in Grade 10 and that he continues to suffer from the addiction. “I still struggle,” he says. “There’s no remedy.”

“At times I wish I was a kid from the eighties. They didn’t have to deal with [computers].”

In a 2015 volume of the Texas Review of Law & Politics, Alexandra Harrison writes: “Internet pornography addiction contains elements of both sexual addiction and Internet addiction, making it potentially more toxic than other addictions. The American Bar Association (ABA),  defines sexual addictions as a ‘compulsive dependence on any sexual behavior that preoccupies the addict, who continues to act compulsively as the consequences mount and who experiences the compulsion as beyond his or her ability to resist, control, or stop it.’”

In his “darkest” days, watching porn provided the only happiness in Thompson’s life. He used to skip school to watch online pornography, and eventually became incapable of connecting sexually and emotionally with potential romantic interests. “When [I] have the urge, my conscious mind is just gone and I’m all motivated by body,” says Thompson.

Harrison continues in the Texas Review: “The ABA notes that while ‘the addiction develops, the addict needs to engage in more frequent or riskier behaviors to produce the same biochemical rush,’ and the ‘preoccupation, persistence, and compulsive need to continue,’ rather than specific acts, mark the addiction.” So the gratification no longer becomes about sex per se but about the specific activity of online porn watching.

“You move on to more extreme stuff because [the previous genre] isn’t doing it for you anymore . . . but at the same time, your conscience is saying that’s [awful content],” Thompson explains.

According to Emma Carter of the Center for Addictions Research of BC (CARBC), no research is currently being done regarding online pornography addiction. As sufficient research lags behind new issues in pornography, contrasting medical viewpoints abound. What is fairly well-established is the divide between male and female experiences with online pornography. “In all my years [working in sexual health], I’ve never heard a woman say [she’s] watched so much porn that [she] can’t get excited with a real partner,” says Loppie.

Dr. Daniel Linz’s 2007 book Online Pornography: Opposing Viewpoints argues that “labels such as ‘sex addict’ or ‘pornography addict’ may tell us more about our society and gender roles than shed light on any new syndrome.” Linz suggests that since those diagnosed as “sex addicts” are disproportionately men, some researchers believe that society’s expectations of hyper-sexualized males may lead men to express their masculinity through sexual excesses.

According to Harrison, the “Coolidge Effect,” described as the novelty-seeking element of male sexuality, means that the infinite pool of fresh internet stimuli is ideal in facilitating male addiction.

However, Loppie questions whether addiction is the correct term. “I think what we’re seeing [with so-called online porn addiction] is overuse of a certain type of stimuli.”

Regardless, some online communities work to address those who suffer from online pornography overuse or addiction. In 2011, a subreddit called NoFap sprung up and eventually became available as an app. Another website called educates users on the scientific effects of porn and promotes a process called Reboot where users abstain from masturbation and pornography for 90 days. Thompson confirms that the Reboot process successfully works for him in correcting erectile dysfunction caused by online porn.

Thompson offers some advice for those who worry they may overindulge in online pornography: “Even if you’re seeing some weird [stuff] online, [and] you think that’s what . . . you’re really into, I wouldn’t make that judgment until you’ve stepped away.”

If you think you may be addicted to online pornography, UVic counsellors are available to help. Visit Thompson’s blog to learn more about his experience:


By Cayden Johnson February 4, 2016

Turn away! Why pornography can harm your sex life. By urology professor Dr. David Samadi (2016)

Porn is more accessible than ever, and many couples use it to enhance their sex lives. But it does more harm than good, Dr. Samadi says.

BY Dr. David Samadi Daily News Contributor. Friday, September 9, 2016

Who can forget the harrowing ordeal of Elizabeth Smart, a 14-year-old abducted from her bedroom in Salt Lake City, Utah in 2002 and held by her kidnappers for nine long months?

Fortunately, her story had a happy ending as she was rescued on March 12, 2003, just 18 miles from her home.

By all accounts, this brave young woman, who suffered horrible trauma of not knowing what her fate would be, has weathered her painful experience with grace and dignity since that time.

Recently, she has come forward to bravely talk about and share new details of how pornography made her nine months of hell even worse. She has come out with a video for an anti-porn group that is raising awareness of the harmful effects of pornography based on science, facts, and personal accounts.

Elizabeth Smart: porn 'made my living hell worse'

The group, called, has a goal to educate the public of pornography's influence on creating huge problems for relationships, its destruction for families and how porn production is often connected with sex trafficking and sexual exploitation, particularly of women.

The internet has made pornography more accessible than ever. With a few simple clicks anyone can view just about any type of pornography they desire.

Many couples may view it as an enhancement to their sex life, yet is it really the best way to bring a couple closer together? Or is it driving more of a wedge between them?

Here are ways in which pornography has a bigger, more harmful effect than we realize:

Married people watching porn alone jack up their risk of divorce

Addiction to porn escalates

You may think viewing just a small sampling of porn won't be harmful. But the more you watch, the more you need an ever-increasing dosage, whetting the appetite for more hardcore porn to reach the same level of arousal.

What used to disgust you now turns you on

After viewing a steady diet of porn, in time your behavior begins to change in that what used to be disturbing and disgusting to you, now seems more normal and common.

Pamela Anderson pens op-ed urging people to not watch pornography

Your brain is rewarding you for watching porn by pumping the chemical dopamine, making you feel terrific — but only temporarily.

What may have started out as being a “connoisseur” of soft porn can eventually turn more hardcore in order to get the same sexual response.

Porn destroys love

Shaun White sued for sexual harassment by bandmate

Research has shown men exposed to pornography are often more critical of their partner's appearance, sexual performance and displays of affection. Women are portrayed as sex objects needing to be dominated. Frequent users of porn may find that they have lost interest in finding love, making them more cynical of loving relationships, unable to trust others and have a view of marriage as being confining.

Porn harms our sex life

When watching porn, everything seems surreal as the viewer falls into a fantasy world of perfect sex, more sex and better sex than what is happening in their real life.

Exposure to soft-core porn displaying women with perfect bodies can create feelings of dissatisfaction with our partner's looks, with less willingness to try new sex acts, which caan lead to feelings of falling out of love with our significant other.

A dramatic downfall for men who view porn frequently is the inability to achieve an erection. Viewing porn hijacks the reward center in our brain by flooding the brain with an overload of chemicals.

This results in the user's brain responding by reducing the amount of pleasure chemicals it produces so that it stops responding to the chemicals being produced. This leads to a man experiencing erectile dysfunction when with a real person in that they are unable to get an erection without viewing porn.

Porn destroys relationships

Some people may view porn as just another type of sexual experience, but in reality it deceives our sense of judgement.

Porn teaches just the opposite of what real loving relationships are all about — equality, trust, honesty, respect and love.

Instead, porn demonstrates that relationships are based on domination, disrespect, abuse, violence and detachment. The more a person views porn, the harder it will be for them to have a real loving relationship or sex life.

At this time there is no medical consensus on whether pornography is addictive or not, but the short-term pleasure it may provide can easily turn into long-term pain, proving to be a problem for many couples.

Dr. Samadi is a board-certified urologic oncologist trained in open and traditional and laparoscopic surgery and is an expert in robotic prostate surgery. He is chairman of urology, chief of robotic surgery at Lenox Hill Hospital and professor of urology at Hofstra North Shore-LIJ School of Medicine. He is a medical correspondent for the Fox News Channel's Medical A-Team Learn more at Visit Dr. Samadi's blog at Follow Dr. Samadi on Twitter, Instagram, Pintrest and Facebook.

For more DAILY VIEWS, The News' contributor network, click here.


Urologist Lim Huat Chye: Pornography can cause erectile dysfunction for young men (2012)

Young men who have the habit of watching porn may be putting an end to their real sex lives, experts warn.

Gleneagles Hospital urologist Doctor Lim Huat Chye told Shin Min Daily News that men who watch too much pornography can find it increasingly difficult to be satisfied when having sex. In time, these men might lose their appetite for sex and suffer from erectile dysfunction as a result.

Dr Lim says that he sees as many as four or five such cases in his clinic every year.

Aside from the risk of losing interest in sex, men who watch pornography might also become addicted to it, he added.

This is harmful as the addict can become easily worn out, suffer from insomnia and face problems trying to concentrate or focus at work.

The same topic has also sprung up all over the Internet, with many netizens questioning whether easy access to Internet porn can lead to an increasing need for more extreme sex methods.

Experts quoted in various Internet portals suggest that those who suffer from porn-induced erectile dysfunction may need up to 12 weeks to recover. They need to avoid watching erotic material for a start.

LINK - YourHealth, Thursday, Dec 27, 2012

Urology Times asks: "What is driving younger men to seek treatment for ED?" Jason Hedges, MD, PhD (2016)

Jason Hedges, MD, PhD

Excerpt: I have had some younger patients who presented who had become obsessed with pornography and they found it difficult to keep and maintain an erection in an actual physical  relationship. I think it has a bit to do with arousal speed. With excessive exposure to pornography, it changes their level of arousal and in their own personal relationship, they may not be  getting that type or level of arousal. I haven’t seen tons but I’ve definitely seen it within the last year.

Dr. Hedges:

I would say were probably seeing a slight increase in younger men here in Oregon. My gut tells me it has a little bit to do with the prevalence of the discussion of testosterone. There are a lot more of these universal men’s clinics that are not really run by physicians. Men come in saying their erections aren’t working as well as [before] and they want their testosterone checked.

I have had some younger patients who presented who had become obsessed with pornography and they found it difficult to keep and maintain an erection in an actual physical relationship. I think it has a bit to do with arousal speed. With excessive exposure to pornography, it changes their level of arousal and in their own personal relationship, they may not be getting that type or level of arousal. I haven’t seen tons but I’ve definitely seen it within the last year.

I don’t think their testosterone is actually low, but they feel it should be higher because they’re experiencing symptoms which sometimes are attributed to low testosterone but can also be attributed to life stresses, such as jobs or relationships.”

Jason Hedges, MD, PhD

Portland, OR

November 01, 2016

By Karen Nash

Video - Can Porn Induce Erectile Dysfunction and Impotence? by Paul Kattupalli MD

Can Porn Induce Erectile Dysfunction and Impotence? by Paul Kattupalli MD

Video: Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction by Brad Salzman, LCSW, CSAT (2017)

Video: Porn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction by  Brad Salzman, LCSW, CSAT

Watching porn can cause male sexual dysfunction. Urologists David B. Samadi & Muhammed Mirza (2014)

Can Watching Too Much Porn Really Lead to Erectile Dysfunction?

Is there such a thing as watching too much porn?  Absolutely.  Too much of anything can turn into an addiction, and as everyone knows, addictions are hard to overcome.  There have been many relationships and even marriages that have been torn apart because one party has an addiction to porn.  When it comes to a man having this addiction, the problem gets worse because he will often end up suffering from erectile dysfunction, which only complicates the porn addiction.

Why do men watch porn?

The answer is simple; they have sexual desires that are fulfilled by watching women/men or both take part in sexual activities.

How does watching porn lead to ED?

A representative of the Italian Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine states watching porn excessively “can cause male sexual dysfunction by lowering libido and eventually leading to an inability to get an erection.”

And according to David B. Samadi, M.D., the “problem [is] in the brain, not the penis.”  Samadi goes on to say that even though porn-induced ED can happen to anyone, it’s primarily seen in teenagers and men in their 20s.

Muhammed Mirza, M.D., says that even though a large percentage of the patients he sees suffer from ED as a result of a medical-related condition, such as diabetes, about 15 to 20 percent of the patients have ED due to too much porn consumption.

Does it matter what type of porn is watched?

Samadi believes that certain types of porn lead to more severe forms of ED.  Online pornography for example tends to be more hardcore, which can worsen a man’s ED issues.  Furthermore, this type of pornography is available 24/7.  It’s because of porn that both men and women sometimes get to a point in which they have unrealistic expectations in the bedroom.

It can be helpful to think of porn-induced ED as being similar to alcoholism, or any drug addiction.  Over time, the user builds up a tolerance, and it takes more and more of the substance to give off the same effect.  With porn, the more it’s watched, the harder it will be for it to cause arousal in a man.  And as a result, he sometimes will get to a point where he can no longer sustain an erection, otherwise known as having ED.

Is there a way to treat porn-induced ED?

Since the penis is not the problem with porn-induced ED, there’s no real way to treat the condition with medication.  However, if a person watches porn because he’s depressed or suffers from anxiety, these conditions can be treated with medication, which could possibly deter him from watching porn, thus helping him overcome his issues with ED.

For most men, a four to six week recovery program is suggested in which they take part in certain activities “to desensitize certain receptors in the brain.”

As with any type of addiction, watching porn excessively does not come with any easy fix, but it’s most certainly a condition that is treatable.



Erection Problems? This Habit May Be Why

Watching porn may extinguish erections in the bedroom. But the brain, not the penis, is the problem.

Your Internet porn habit may be causing your erection problems.

Tuesday, February 04, 2014

Can watching too much pornography possibly cause problems with men’s sexual performance, such as erectile dysfunction (ED)? Evidence increasingly suggests that this may be one of the side effects of men's fascination with porn, and it also may be turning into a more common problem of men's sexual health. 

One survey of 28,000 Italian men found that "excessive consumption" of porn, starting at age 14, and daily consumption in their early to mid-20s, desensitized men to even the most violent images. According to the head of the Italian Society of Andrology and Sexual Medicine, this can cause male sexual dysfunction by lowering libido and eventually leading to an inability to get an erection. 

“Due to the pornography available on the Internet, we are finding out that this type of sex dysfunction is a real entity,” said David B. Samadi, MD, chairman of the urology department and chief of robotic surgery at Lenox Hill Hospital in New York City. “It is a problem in the brain, not the penis."

To some extent, porn-related ED can affect anyone, but Dr. Samadi said he sees it mainly in younger men who are in their teens and early 20s.  

Benchmark research from the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health in Baltimore found that about 18 million American men have ED, meaning they're unable to achieve or maintain an erection sufficient for sexual intercourse. The problem can be physical, relating to blocked blood flow to the penis; psychological; or a combination.

“Most of the time, chronic disease, such as heart disease or diabetes, contributes to erectile dysfunction, but in my particular practice, I will say 15 to 20 percent of the erectile dysfunction I see is related to porn consumption,” said Muhammed Mirza, MD, an internist based in Jersey City, N.J., and the founder of

Are You at Risk for Porn-Related ED?

It’s not necessarily how much porn a person watches. The type can also play a role, Samadi said. Unlike the soft-core porn images seen in such magazines as Playboy or Penthouse, online pornography is generally more graphic and often depicts kinky, deviant, or even violent behavior. It's also available 24/7.

Porn can lead to unrealistic expectations that increase a person’s tolerance for sex. Samadi likened the phenomenon to what occurs when someone consistently drinks more and more alcohol. Eventually, that person has a harder time feeling inebriated. The same happens with porn and sexual performance.

“You need more and more stimulation as you build up this tolerance, and then comes your reality with a wife or partner, and you may not be able to perform,” he said. Too much porn can desensitize a man to sex, and, eventually, he can be unable to get excited by ordinary sexual encounters, Samadi explained.

Chronic porn consumption can cause a shift in brain chemicals that may contribute to organic erectile dysfunction, said Dr. Mirza. “Your expectations become much higher than normal,” he said. "If you look at any porn video image, they are magnified. This is not what the normal anatomy looks like.”

Samadi agreed. “Many of the images seen in porn are unrealistic and magnified," he said. "No one can go on for hours.”

"'Reel' life is very different than real life," said Nicole Sachs, LCSW, a social worker in Rehoboth, Del., and the author of "The Meaning of Truth." The unrealistic imagery seen in some pornography can make men or women feel self-conscious, which could lead to problems with sexual function or intimacy, she said.

“What seems so easy when watching porn takes work in real life,” she said. “Sex in pornography or even with prostitutes is quick, easy, and impersonal,” she said. “Intimacy is hard and can be embarrassing.” Queuing up the porn may seem like the easy way out, but this can lead to a vicious cycle. “Impotence begets impotence, and interest in porn can grow from there,” she explained.

What Is the Treatment for Porn-Related ED?

Porn-related ED is not treated with drugs designed to help men achieve an erection, said Samadi. “Medications are not the treatment for this because the problem is not the penis, it’s the brain,” he said. “There is a mismatch between the brain and penis, so you may get the erection with these medications, but not the satisfaction.”

Samadi first takes a history to find out what may be responsible for the ED. “Shame and guilt may play a role if someone is watching lot of pornography, so I always talk to the individuals separately,” he said.

Treatment is similar to a 12-step recovery program, he said. It starts with a 4- to 6-week plan to desensitize certain receptors in the brain. Talk therapy also helps address some of the underlying issues. “We also encourage men spend more time with a partner," he said. "We try to have [partners] touch one another, reconnect, and slowly build the relationship back up.”

It’s not a simple fix, Sachs added. “Sex is half in your head and half in your body, and it takes work to treat the psychological component," she said. "There is no pill to treat these issues.”


What to Do When You’re Dating a Guy with Problems Below the Belt. Sexologist Emily Morse, Ph.D. (2016)

by Hannah Hickok


When it comes to awkward dating and sex scenarios, dealing with bodily malfunctions is up there with condom breakage and being walked in on unexpectedly. But it has the potential to be even worse, actually, because there are often some pretty complicated emotions that come along with physical SNAFUs in bed. To be clear: I’m talking about when you’re with a guy who struggles with erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation. (There are plenty of other ways our bodies can malfunction in bed—and we women face our own challenges—but here, we’re focusing on the men.)

Erectile dysfunction—or the inability to get or keep an erection—affects millions of men in the U.S., with the number increasing with age. But that doesn’t mean millennial men don’t experience it: According to the University of Wisconsin Madison’s School of Medicine and Public Health, mild or moderate ED affects 10 percent of men per decade of life—meaning 20 percent of men in their 20s, 30 percent of men in the 30s, and so on, though we’ll assume with a drop-off at some point. Premature ejaculation, on the other hand, is when a guy can’t stop himself from ejaculating shortly after penetration. Some sources estimate that 20 to 30 percent of men might struggle with PE at some point or another (the condition can come and go).

That’s all to say that the number of women who’ve slept with a guy dealing with one of these disorders is also likely very high. (If we’re going just by my group of friends, that’s certainly true.) And no matter how empathetic you are to the problem, how patient, or non shame-y and blame-y, it’s still just that: A problem. You know it and he knows it, but the question of how to fix it remains.

Below, five smart suggestions from top sex therapists about where to start.

Don’t Make it About You.

Though it might be tempting to cave to insecurities the minute something goes wrong—especially when it’s ED—try hard not to turn the focus onto yourself, says sexologist Emily Morse, Ph.D., host of Sex with Emily. “This doesn’t mean he’s not sexually attracted to you,” she says. “Men put so much stock in their penises working properly because of our culture’s idea of masculinity. But the same way that how wet you are doesn’t always reflect how turned-on you are, what’s happening below the belt for him isn’t always an accurate reflection of how badly he wants to be boning you.” Take a deep breath, quiet those inner voices, and resist the urge to ask him why you’re not hot enough to get him hard. Trust: Whatever negative things you’re hearing inside your head, he’s telling himself stuff that’s ten times worse.

Keep the Convo Casual.

Along with avoiding talking about yourself, don’t bring an air of gloom, doom, or super-seriousness to the conversation when you do talk to the guy about it. It’ll just freak him out more than he is already. “Don’t have the conversation in the bedroom,” says Morse. “Try doing it over breakfast the next day. Another tip is to do it when you’re in the car or walking the dog—it’s a sensitive topic, so giving them the option not to make eye contact can be a big relief and make the conversation go smoother.” Your tone and vibe matters more than what you actually say, but your message should be something along the lines of, “What happened last night was no big deal! I’ve heard a lot of guys struggle with this, so maybe it’s worth having a doctor check it out.”

Rule Out Physical Factors.

In young men, odds are the problem has psychological roots, says sex therapist Laurie Watson, LMFT, host of the podcast FOREPLAY: Radio Sex Therapy. “Here’s how to rule out that it’s physiological: If he has morning erections; if he can get an erection but can’t keep it; and he can get an erection by himself and ejaculate without any problem when he’s masturbating, the problem is not physical.” Instead, there’s probably something going on emotionally or intellectually that he may need to look at. Depending on how serious and invested you are in him and the relationship, that’s something you may be able to help him with.

Address the Ways He’s Psyching Himself out.

There are some lifestyle or psychological factors that you can help him address. For instance, is he regularly drinking before you have sex? That can kill a boner. Has he been overdoing it on porn? “Porn keeps raising the bar of stimulation, meaning that men need a higher stimulus to get off because it’s what they’re getting used to,” says Morse. “Tell him—nicely—that if he backs off or takes a break, it could help your sex life.” Also, if you’re fighting in other areas of life, it could be spilling over into bed, says Watson. “If he’s angry at you, he can lose the ability to function properly,” she says. “Some men who cheat have trouble getting hard because they feel guilty and their penises are literally conflicted about sleeping with two women at once.” If it’s nerves, reassure him that you’re having fun no matter what happens with his D—and that he can always pleasure you in other ways. Once he takes his mind off it, he might find that he’s able to get it up or control how soon he comes.

Take Your Cues from Him.

If you’re not able to home in on what’s causing the PE or ED, and his doctor says it’s not physical, you could consider seeing a sex therapist, says Watson. Hey, that’s what experts are for! But ultimately, he’s the only one who can get help. “Men are afraid to see sex therapists because they’re afraid they’ll be told they’re inadequate,” she says. “But if he delays getting help for very long, it might indicate that he is not a sex partner who will be willing to grow and change over time.” And that’s a whole other issue in and of itself.

If he’s being a dick about the situation and his ego’s too bruised to work together and find a solution, pay attention to what that’s telling you about him. Is he someone you want to keep sleeping with, let alone dating? “If there’s a pattern of delays, excuses, or anger when it comes to this subject, think twice about staying in the relationship,” says Watson. “It’s not a question of sexual incompatibility, but incompatibility with a person who isn’t a learner, won’t be open, and isn’t willing to change.”

Read more:

When porn becomes a problem (Irish Times). Sex therapists Trish Murphy, Teresa Bergin, Tony Duffy (2015)

Click on graphic to see ED rates, which show higher rates in young men than in men 35-49.

Kate Holmquist

Rachel thought she had “a healthy view of sex and pornography”, before her partner became a porn addict. “He pulled me down into a darkness that made me feel so dirty I could never scrub myself clean again.”

Having seen her partner go from spending hours every day on porn sites to using prostitutes, she now believes “pornography is a criminal industry created and manipulated by men; where women are treated like lumps of meat . . . they don’t have a voice and neither do we as women. And pornography is in every bedroom in the country – on the Luas, in the sittingroom. It’s cyber kerb-crawling.”

Therapists say pornography is not only damaging to women. Many of the men who view it are also being deprived of healthy sexual relationships.

Pornography is not quite as widespread as some people think (it is commonly said to constitute one-third of internet traffic, though 4 per cent is a more realistic figure). Nevertheless, it is more accessible now than at any other time in history: available to anybody with a smartphone, tablet or computer.

The broad term “porn” ranges from apparently benign videos, photos and accounts of sex, to dark, abusive content and “torture porn”.

In this latter category, the “victims” are often actors, but pornography also includes material in which participants have been forced to take part: eastern European sites have the worst record in this regard, according to anthropologist Laura Agustin.

‘Rape porn’

By contrast, so-called “ethical” porn, in which actors have fair, health-aware working conditions is available through some Californian paid sites. “Amateur” – ostensibly home-made – videos are another popular form, although the “amateurs” are likely to be actors too.

Though some porn sites charge for access, neither the mild nor the hardcore material is hard to find free of charge. An internet search for “rape porn” offers pages of results. This material is at the darker end of the pornography spectrum, but porn takes many forms and often begins innocently enough.

On the train to work, I witness two private-school first-years on their way home from hockey practice – a boy and a girl in muddied socks.

As they look at the boy’s iPhone, a series of his nude selfies pops up. The girl grabs the phone, swipes through the pictures and threatens to send them to her friends. He tries to wrestle it back. The girl’s blasé reaction suggests she’s seen this before. These are children distributing what they don’t realise is one step away from child pornography.

“The more young people see, the more normal it becomes,” says Teresa Bergin, a therapist who works with sex-addicted young men. “Teenagers’ brains are especially plastic,” she says.

Bergin treats men in their late teens and early 20s with erectile dysfunction caused by the continuous hyper-arousal of pornography. Unable to relate sensually to real women, they seek more intense “novelty” to become aroused, which can’t compare with real life, she says.

Distorted view of sex “The teenage brain is at its peak of dopamine production and neuroplasticity,” says Bergin. “It makes the brain highly vulnerable to addiction . . . and these young men have been misled about the sexual act with all of the intimacy taken out of it.”

“Boys are being sexualised in a very different way now than before. Some are showing an inability to have intercourse. For them, the intensity of what they see on the screen can’t be matched. They click on stronger and stronger images, straying from the traditional and going into areas such as S&M.”

Teenagers pose a particular problem, but pornography has become part of our imaginative sexual landscape and is common among all age groups.

The Irish Times recently conducted an online survey of Irish people’s sexual habits. Though this was a voluntary survey whose results should be seen as indicative rather than definitive, 83 per cent of respondents to the survey said they had viewed pornography, including 99 per cent of men aged 17-34.

In The Irish Times Sex Survey, a significant number of young men (17 per cent of them aged 17-24) said they used porn daily. One third of female respondents had viewed porn, and just 1 per cent of women viewed it daily.

For heavy users, pornography can be very damaging. “For those who use it daily, their porn use can be a cause of huge difficulty,” says Trish Murphy, psychotherapist and Irish Times columnist. “It often takes over their thoughts and lives and they may find it very difficult to break the habit.”

Margaret Dunne, a sex therapist, says: “Porn actively harms real sexual relationships by damaging the development and experience of intimacy. It tends to be very focused on male pleasure. Porn viewing generally tends to be done in secret and therefore leads to a sense of betrayal when the partner finds out.”

Dunne treats porn users who “very quickly spiral downwards to addiction, which results in the man having difficulty having an erection with his partner.

“Pornography clearly remains a solitary pursuit,” says psychotherapist Brendan Madden. “This reflects the idealised nature of pornography where it represents an opportunity to fantasise and imagine having access to sexual partners and indulging in sexual activities that may not be available in real life.”

Sex and relationships therapist Tony Duffy has also seen porn use damaging men’s ability to be sexual in the real world.

Those who work in the area of sex addiction obviously encounter the worst cases, but they say they are seeing them with increasing regularity.

“Addiction to porn is becoming more evident and I think most sex therapists would agree. More men are spending more screen time interacting with porn, and this is problematic in terms of sexual behaviour,” Duffy says.

Is pornography always negative? Not necessarily. Half of those who answered our survey (see page 2) said they did not believe pornography negatively affected real-life sexual relationships.

And Teresa Bergin says that while sex therapists are seeing a huge increase in sexual problems caused by porn, it’s not always damaging. “It has some instructional value for people with no sex education, like most of the population, and young men have said that they’ve learned how to incorporate variety into their love-making, while couples who watch porn together say it can help develop a sense of adventure, as long as both are in agreement.”

Sex therapist Emily Power Smith says it can be enjoyable for women as well as for men. “Historically, women have been less drawn to porn due to what was available. Mainstream porn was and still is largely aimed at young to middle-aged straight men.

“However this is changing with a new wave of ‘feminist porn’, with a storyline, and sex that involves women having real orgasms. The films are made ethically, which means that everyone is paid well, healthy and not in it due to coercion or force. More women and men are demanding this kind of porn so they can enjoy it free from worry or guilt.”

Couples in agreement can watch it together to enhance their relationships (the Irish Times survey suggests many older Irish couples use it in this way).

Not all couples can make this work, says Bergin. “The intimacy-boosting effects of pornography may be confined to couples who are already well synchronised in their sexual tastes. If both partners aren’t equally open to porn and one of them feels it may be detrimental, then the effect can be negative.”

Dunne adds: “Using porn to spice up a relationship where libido is low can be great if two people want to watch it [but] when he goes off and watches it alone, there is a veil of secrecy and shame.”

Secrecy Dermod Moore, a psychotherapist who works with sex addicts, agrees that secrecy is a key problem. Watching porn can be an enjoyable experience, as long as it’s discussed.

“My point is that not that pornography per se is unhealthy; it is that anything that fails to get discussed becomes unhealthy. There are many arguments about it politically, especially from feminists; but what is lacking from both popular culture and in our private relationships is [a discussion of] the emotional impact it has on us.”

Rachel – who feels no one can really understand unless they were in her situation of living with a secretive sex addict – lost her partner, her home and was left penniless with a young child after spending tens of thousands of euro in legal expenses to extricate herself from the consequences of a sex addiction that her partner still denies. She doubts she will ever trust anyone enough to be in love again.

“They do it right under your nose on their laptops and phones. It’s the lying – even when discovered, there’s no contrition, they’re devoid of empathy at that point.

“And it escalates as they go into more and more extreme material, then turn to the purchase of women for sex.”

Rachel discovered her partner’s use of prostitutes after he gave her a sexually transmitted disease. Hers is one story, but similar ones have been repeated to me several times in interviews with sex therapists for this article. They say it is not unusual for pornography to become a gateway to prostitution.

“After starting with porn on the phone, he ends up answering the associated ads for ‘massage with a happy ending’,” says Dunne.

“In therapy, men will tell you that they would never have anticipated going down that route,” says Dunne. “If you could show them a picture on the day they first start out on this path, of the extreme pornography and prostitution they will end up in by the day they are in treatment, they would be shocked.”

Open discussion The 11 per cent of men using porn daily should question themselves. “Daily use means you are either a sex addict or on the way to becoming a sex addict,” says another therapist who works in a major hospital.

Among the problems he treats are infertility as a result of erectile dysfunction caused by porn, and depression in women whose partners have rejected them in favour of online porn. He has had clients who have lost jobs because they were so porn-obsessed they became incapable of “clear judgment”.

“They live in a second world of their own and become so disconnected from real life that they lose houses, jobs and homes. It’s not a big jump to start using prostitutes, swinging clubs and expensive chatlines. The deeper they go the less intense the thrill and some have four or five ‘affairs’ going at the same time on the company credit card,” he says.

“Their female partners are totally and utterly shattered. You could be an alcoholic or a gambler and there is a certain acceptance of that, but porn/sex addiction is different in the enormous amount of shame involved so that no one talks about it, causing isolation for the man and the woman.”

The “demeaning and misogynistic” portrayal of women , gives boys and men “a distorted view of what sex and intimacy should be”, says Dunne.

“I have heard secondary school girls saying that their boyfriends are quite rough. They are finding that while they want emotional connection and intimacy, pornography is affecting their boyfriends’ expectations of sex.”

The Irish Times Sex Survey suggests many young men now also use porn to learn about sexual technique. Fifty-four per cent of 17-24-year-old men said they found porn “instructional”, a finding that is of particular concern to Margaret Dunne.

This, she says, suggests “a very messed up idea of what intimacy and sexuality is about. There is a real risk now that younger men’s sexual scripts will become heavily influenced by, and distorted through, excessive porn use.”

Porn teaches people about sex, but not always in a good way, says Madden. “People learn a lot from watching pornography and it’s more engaging than the average sex education lesson. Pornography online spans sexual practices that are relatively realistic to sexual practices that are at best misleading and at worst encourage sexually exploitative behaviours. For young people, in particular, it can be hard to distinguish between them.”

Moore comments: “For all the freedoms that the internet has brought over the past couple of decades, I am not sure that we in Ireland are anywhere near the stage where we can discuss sex and/or pornography in a healthy way.

“We avoid talk in Irish culture that is sex-positive; by which I mean honestly and directly. Yes there is plenty of it about; it’s in the media, but the hardest thing of all, it seems, is to bring up the topic of sex in a way that is not comic, or shame-filled, or needing Dutch courage to address it. Practically all men have used porn; how many have discussed it, openly?”

Seeking stories

Kate Holmquist is seeking accounts of pornography use by Irish people. Share your experience confidentially by emailing tellkate@irish

Why porn and masturbation can be too much of a good thing (Dr. Elizabeth Waterman)

Late night porn userLike fat, salt and booze, masturbation is one of those touchy health-related topics for which the latest medical news always seem to contradict the advice of the past. Eat no fat! Or, just good fat – but not too much! But not too little, either! And hey, salt is a killer – but it can be deadly if you don't eat it! Such is the progress of science.

Similarly, studies have long shown that masturbation is perfectly normal and can even be a physically healthy activity – in middle-aged men it cuts the risk of prostate cancer. It can also reduce anxiety, and thereby help restore stress-racked immune systems. And yet according to experts, there is now emerging evidence suggesting that overly frequent masturbation – aroused by the vast cornucopia of freely available porn we enjoy today – is leading to serious cases of erectile dysfunction (ED).

That may sound like anti-onanistic propaganda, but medical professionals say that masturbating too much is actually a pretty standard form of addiction, but it's worsened by pornography. "When people start watching porn, there is a huge flood of dopamine in the brain," explains Dr. Elizabeth Waterman, a psychologist at Morningside Recovery Center in Newport California. "Over time, the receptors that were once very sensitive become less sensitive, and normal physical intimacy does not produce enough dopamine to stimulate the dopamine receptors." In other words, the more porn you watch, the more – and harder and more graphic – porn you need in order to get it up. If the trend continues, men can find themselves physically unable to maintain an erection, much less enjoy sexual contact with another person.

Not surprisingly, porn-induced ED can create further performance-anxiety concerns, compounding into a problem that is both biological and psychological. "People can start developing real self-confidence issues," Dr. Waterman says. "They can feel irritable, sleepless, frustrated, anxious. One can lose relationships quite easily from it." According to Dr. Waterman, there isn't a magic number that indicates you are masturbating too frequently. Even masturbating every day isn't necessarily a problem; it's conditional – only if it's interfering with your work, your social life, or your sex life (i.e., erectile dysfunction) should you be concerned. Fortunately, if you do have an issue, the cure is simple: Stop watching porn and resist the urge to masturbate as much as possible. Within six to 12 weeks your brain will rebound to a more typical dopamine sensitivity (though recovery time varies). "Some people's brains reach homeostasis [or, physiological equilibrium] much quicker," Dr. Waterman explains. "Time is your best friend when it comes to reestablishing homeostasis in the brain."

The rub, as it were, is that during their recovery period, most men experience a libido flatline, possibly for up to several weeks depending on the severity of addiction. But Dr. Waterman assures that the effect is temporary and eventually passes. She advises that the key to recovering is holding yourself accountable, but also remembering that recovery is a process, so you shouldn't feel like a jerk if you aren't a complete saint. "If you do slip up, it's not the end of the world."


YBOP review of "The New Naked" by urologist Harry Fisch, MD

Eminent urologist Harry Fisch, MD has performed a much needed service by saying some things that need to be said about missing pieces in today's naive understanding of human sexuality. For example, he addresses the adverse effects of excessive internet porn use on men's sexual function and expectations, as well as the adverse effects of too much sex toy use in women. He also advises people who need help to get it from therapists who actually understand sexual addiction. (Many sexologists still deny its existence!)

Here are some excerpts from "The New Naked":

"[Porn], something that is supposed to stimulate and arouse men (or women) sexually can actually destroy their overall libido and performance. So why isn't anyone talking about the effect on sexual performance ...? Probably because they flunked sex ed for grownups. They're discussing why a guy watches it--and not what happens to his penis when he watches."

"When I say that porn is killing America's sexual behavior, I am not kidding, nor am I exaggerating."

" Porn addiction ... is far more common than most people think."

" Look for a sex therapist experienced with porn addiction and sexual dysfunction."

"I can tell how much porn a man watches as soon as he starts talking candidly about any sexual dysfunction he has."

" A man who masturbates frequently can soon develop erection problems when he's with his partner. Add porn to the mix, and he can become unable to have sex."

"A penis that has grown accustomed to a particular kind of sensation leading to rapid ejaculation will not work the same way when it's aroused differently. Orgasm is delayed or doesn't happen at all."

"What drives me crazy is that so many teenage boys have their first relationship not with a person, but with what they're watching on their computers. ... The only way to learn about women is to spend a lot of time with them. And the only way to get really good at having sex is by having real sex with real women."

"I don't think [proposing a vibrator is] good advice for those who are sexually active, because the ultimate goal is for them to have orgasms with their partners, not their sex toys. The vibrator is so good at stimulating the clitoris that if you use it regularly, you may soon become unable to orgasm without it. ...The goal with any sexual relationship is to enjoy it together, not to enjoy yourself more than the relationship. ...This one of the big disagreements I have with sex therapists."

"Masturbation can become an enormous problem in your relationship if one partner gets so used to self-pleasuring that he or she can't get aroused by regular sex anymore."

Fisch also has insightful things to say about putting relationships back on track, but this review is already long enough.

My one criticism of this book is its style. In my view it is a bit too breezy for the seriousness of the material. But no book is perfect, and the content is sound.


Young men who view more pornography experiencing erectile dysfunction, study says (Dr. Morgan Francis, 2017)

PHOENIX (KSAZ) - Young men who prefer pornography to real sexual encounters are unable to perform well with other people when the opportunity presents itself, according to a study recently conducted by a San Diego based urology clinic. Watch video.

"Over time, a person can become over stimulated. Over stimulation causes the brain chemicals to change, specifically the neuro transmitter dopamine. Dopamine is responsible for feeling good, for feeling pleasure."

Sex therapist Dr. Morgan Francis especially agrees with the findings of the study that indicate porn-addicted men are more likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction.

She says the findings are necessarily shocking, but the age of those most affected is eye opening.

Porn could set an unrealistic expectation in young, inexperienced men.

"We are seeing a younger demographic of men, 18 to 35 year olds, that are experiencing erectile dysfunction. That's pretty young for a male to experience," Francis said.

The study surveyed 312 men from the ages of 20 to 40.

Twenty-six percent said they viewed pornography less than once a week, while 21 percent said three to five times a week. And five percent said they watch pornography up to 10 times a day.

Seventy-two percent used a computer, and 62 percent used a smart phone.

"Some of the things I look for to determine if a person is struggling with pornographic addiction would be, 'are they having problems stopping?' despite negative consequences," Francis said. "Is there problems with their interpersonal relationships with spouses or partners?"

Dr. Francis also warns that when a pleasurable distraction becomes a compulsion, such as when you start feeling lonely, depressed or ashamed, you might have a problem.

Original article

Young people report 'persistent and distressing' problems with sex lives: study

FREDERICTON -- A University of New Brunswick researcher says a new survey dispels the myth that most young people are enjoying fun, pleasurable sex lives.

Lucia O'Sullivan, a psychology professor at the Fredericton university, said more than three-quarters of young men and women struggle with bad sex lives -- with one or more "persistent and distressing" problems in sexual functioning.

"We have this image that partnered sexual life for young people, particularly at the beginning, is fun, pleasurable and really hedonistic," she said Wednesday. "But what we found once we started tracking them over time is that many young people have sexual problems they are dealing with."

The survey of more than 400 young people aged 16 to 21 in New Brunswick found 79 per cent of young men and 84 per cent of young women reported sexual problems over a two-year period.

Common problems for men included low sexual satisfaction, low desire and problems in erectile function, while women reported an inability to reach orgasm, low satisfaction and pain.

"It's scarily common amongst young people to have really bad, painful, unwanted sex," O'Sullivan said. "If they're not enjoying it ... they're doing it because they feel they should."

Some of the problems could be chalked up to a learning curve, she said, especially issues related to controlling ejaculation for men or learning how to orgasm for women.

But O'Sullivan, whose research focuses on sexuality and intimate relationships, said the high rates of disinterest, low arousal and poor satisfaction are a bigger concern.

If sexual problems go unresolved, she warned they could develop into a more serious sexual dysfunction later in life, putting a strain on relationships.

O'Sullivan launched the survey after a doctor at the university health centre remarked on the high number of students with erectile issues, pain and -- in particular -- vulvar fissures, or tearing.

"The standard of care was to hand them this lubrication and to let them know they are at high risk for sexually transmitted infections," she said. "But then she started asking them 'Are you having sex that you want, that you are interested in? Are you aroused?' and she began to realize that there was a more serious problem."

Part of the issue lies with sex education in Canada, O'Sullivan said.

"We have always educated young people about the problems of sex. We think about it in terms of 'Don't have it and if you do have it, make sure you prevent this calamity,"' she said. "We never say 'By the way, this should be a fun part of your life."'

Despite improvements in sexual education, O'Sullivan said Canada continues to lag many western European countries including Denmark, which she called the poster child for sex education starting in kindergarten.

Proposals to improve sexual education in Canada are often met by a small but vocal minority that is "screechingly loud" in its opposition, she said.

"It creates so much fuss that everyone freaks out," O'Sullivan said. "But we know that providing comprehensive sex education gives people options, choices, power and decision-making capacity. They actually delay sexual activity, they have safer sex and lower rates of (sexually transmitted infections) and pregnancy."

Another issue influencing the sexual lives of young people is media exposure and the prevalence of pornography, she said.

"Access to porn is broader, greater, bigger, more frequent and more extreme than ever before," O'Sullivan said. "You don't just rely on your dad's porn magazines anymore.

"We're beginning to worry that it's actually shifting what they think is normal."

Original article

Dopamine agonists instead of ED meds - a thread on YBR

See this discussion of dopamine agonists for porn-induced ED

Dopamine agonists instead of ED meds


Erectile Dysfunction & 3 Uncommon Cures!

HELP! I quit porn, but my potency, genital size, and/or libido are decreasing (Flatline)

"The most common path people seem to have is Hyper-Arousal --> Flatline --> Natural Arousal, where the final end is a natural, healthy attraction/drive towards women that didn't exist at the beginning. Now there are quite a few variations on this, but congrats on getting out of the flatline." (link)

This is a typical phase of recovery in men who have porn-related erectile dysfunction, delayed ejaculation or just plain porn addiction. We call it “flatlining.” It’s temporary, but it can be very disconcerting, because it can make quitting porn seem like the cause of sexual dysfunctions, instead of the solution. (See accounts below and these threads - Gentlemen, why do flatlines scare us so much?, List all the flatline symptoms?, Anyone else asexual now?)

Why this happens, no one knows for sure. It seems reasonable that your brain has conditioned (rewired) itself to require a certain level, and type, of sexual stimulation. When it's removed your libido drops because your subconscious expectations aren't met, and your body registers its "disappointment" by dropping your dopamine. In scientific terms, this is called a "negative prediction error."

Also read this thread in which guys suspect they have been living in a flatline for years.

Maybe prolonged abstinence leads to a slight drop in libido, even in healthy young men (reversible, when they become sexually active again). However, the severity of flatline symptoms (lifeless genitals, no libido, loss of attraction to real people) points to chronic porn use as the primary player in the flatline.

Growing data point to porn as a possible culprit in depressing libido for sex with partners: Studies linking porn use or porn/sex addiction to sexual dysfunctions, lower brain activation to sexual stimuli, and lower sexual satisfaction.

We know of no research on the flatline itself (yet), but here's what recovering porn users have observed themselves.

  1. A decade ago older men (28-50) with PIED experienced short flat lines and relatively quick recoveries.
  2. In the last 10 years the length of flatlines has increased, primarily in young men who grew up using high speed internet porn. Now, even some in their 30s report severe flatlines.
  3. Ejaculation can knock younger guys back into a flatline. It's far rarer for ejaculation to set back older men.
  4. Many men on the forums abstain and never experience a flatline. Most are not heavy porn users, or say they weren't addicted.  

It's likely the flatline is related to neurochemical events occurring during withdrawal from porn addiction. It's well known that during withdrawal from an addiction dopamine drops even further, and stress hormones such as CRF and norepinephrine rise. This combo can kill libido.

With less dopamine, the further desensitized reward circuitry in the brain provides insufficient stimulation the brain's erection centers (hypothalamus). Less stimulation results in fewer impulses traveling down the spinal cord to reach the penis.

Although all addictions share the same fundamental brain changes, it's clear that internet porn use can adversely affect brain circuits governing sexuality, as witnessed by the many reports of morphing sexual tastes, loss of libido, and sexual dysfunctions. My hypothesis is that deeper brain structures governing male sexual behavior and erections (the hypothalamus) are altered by a long standing porn addiction.

The good news is that it will pass, and your libido will come back. Everyone's recovery is a bit different, though, and it is not necessarily linear. Even after you start to notice signs of life, it's quite normal to see them followed by phases of sleepy-libido before you are completely back to normal. A few men with longer reboots experience a return of libido for a few weeks, followed by a few weeks of flatlining libido, or several of these cycles.

The bad news is that this unnerving “flatline” phase can last weeks to months. However, we know of no one whose sexual performance issues are related to heavy porn use, who hasn’t ultimately improved—provided that he avoids intense sexual stimulation (ideally PMO and sexual fantasy) while allowing his brain to return to normal sensitivity. For the science behind your condition, and why it’s necessary to avoid intense stimulation, watch this video series Erectile Dysfunction and Porn.

If you want to shorten the misery, here are some tips that others have recommended:

Be consistent.

Those who recover fastest (“reboot”), are consistent in avoiding porn and porn substitutes (surfing Facebook pictures or YouTube videos). Depending on your situation you may choose to temporarily reduce or eliminate masturbation & orgasm. If you choose to mix in occasional orgasm with a partner, that’s great, but some men with PIED find it sets them back early in their reboot. At first, any orgasm or intense arousal can trigger a powerful “chaser effect," and the result is a porn binge, which slows recovery. If you can masturbate based on physical sensations alone, without intense stimulation, it is less problematic—especially later in the process.

Edging to porn without orgasm is particularly detrimental, because 1) porn is the cause of ED, and, 2) dopamine levels are elevated for very long periods, which can lead to desensitization. Edging, with or without porn, is far worse than simply ejaculating and then moving to other activities (see - What if I masturbate (edge) or watch porn without orgasm?). One man reported that he ejaculated only once every ten days (because he saw benefits from conserving his sexual energy). Yet he still watched Internet porn every day…and developed ED.

Eventually, you may want to masturbate without porn to see if it kickstarts your libido. Examples of guys who did this appear later on this page.

Do not test with porn.

When your libido flatlines, or you have other symptoms, such as “lifeless penis,” it is easy to panic and want to test yourself with porn to see if you can still force an erection. This tends to slow recovery. Be courageous and patient. Remain in “The Void” until your body gives you signs that your brain and sexual responsiveness are back to normal.

Forcing or "checking" your erection process = pretty much worse thing you can do - 9 out of 10 times it's not up to expectations and ends up stressing you out.  I mean lets be honest your doing it not for anything sexual but just to check your erection, which means you really aren't thinking in a sexual fashion, should your penis really get hard to begin with?  The more you break down how faulty the logic is to "check" yourself, the better you'll understand that it serves zero purpose and usually just causes you to be down the rest of the day. (from this thread: Forced erection)

Do not overdo it when the moment arrives.

You may want to take it easy once you decide to reintroduce regular ejaculation. Several ejaculations in a row have sent guys back into a flatline. A vague recommendation, I know. If you severely sprained your ankle, does it make sense to  play six hours of full court basketball the day after you stop using crutches? A thread on orgasms throwing guys back into a flatline - just when i thought i was out of the woods...

Do not compare yourself with others.

It’s true that those who started masturbating long before high-speed Internet porn, and those who only started watching high-speed fairly recently tend to recover from porn-related sexual performance problems the quickest.

However, the severity of the problem is also tied to less tangible factors. First, brains differ in their sensitivity and response to excess dopamine (stimulation). Your brain may have adapted more quickly, and may need more time to return to balance. Second, the numbed pleasure response, which is the cause of your problem, doesn't appear to be directly tied to hours of viewing according to research. It's tied to "intensity of experience."

This can obviously vary for people. This guy even got lucky and recovered without much in the way of symptoms:

I really never had any withdrawal symptoms . I may have had blue balls for 10 minutes once. Other than those ten minutes, nothing. ED is as bad as it gets...always working to stay hard, not enjoying the sex. Man, I am glad to be over it.

Another guy:

Not everyone has a flatline, and it doesn't always begin around the same time. Most have it happen after about a week, but others (myself included) may have it much later. For the longest time I figured I wouldn't have one at all, but I ended up having a short one for most of week 7. It can also vary wildly in terms of length. There are many theories about why one experiences the flatline, but nothing is certain. Personally, I believe the flatline is a transition stage as you start giving up on the porn and stop thinking about it at all. Because you aren't sensitized to real-world cues yet, the libido plummets as neither real-world nor porn thoughts stimulate your brain. (I really noted a strong correlation between the beginning of my flatline and the disappearance of any porn-related cravings.)

Try beneficial stressors to "kickstart" a return to normal sensitivity to pleasure.

Beneficial stressors include cold showers, exercise and fasting. For a scientific discussion of why these mild stressors can improve mood and increase sensitivity to pleasure and satisfaction, visit

One guy thinks that careful edging for a few days ended his flatline: Age 17 - Porn-induced ED cured. Used "edging" to beat the flatline

If recovery or your flatline is taking a long time see - Started on Internet porn and my recovery from porn-induced ED is taking too long

Flat line

If you need a laugh: The Time I Doubled My IQ (Dilbert's creator)

Flatline Stories (we have seen countless of the same)

Age 24 - ED healed, but sex initiated a 7-week flatline. I am finally healed

Almost 5 months in, my thoughts on flatlining

A fellow NoFapper messaged me asking about my experience with flatlining, because he's going through it right now and hates it. I figured I'd write my response here in case others find it handy:

Flatlining has actually turned out to be a godsend for me.

It would have been a lot tougher to make it to 147 days if it wasn't for me coasting through a large part of it because of the flatline. I was flatlining probably through half to two-thirds of my current streak. It's like your best friend in this game.

It actually tells me I'm doing something right. For the first time since I started masturbating, I feel like I'm on top of my sexual arousal in non-sexual situations! Flatlining just means you're not feeling turned on for no goddamn reason (which only happens because without NoFap you realize sexual release is just a few strokes away at any time).

Been in a flat line for months now and here's why I dont care

here's a list of long flatlines to give you hope!

Hey guys. For me and many others, the dreaded flatline and it’s accompanying side effects (low energy, anhedonia, insomnia, etc) is the most horrifying part of the reboot. We sometimes worry we are in a permanent state of being broken. I have compiled a list of long flatlining accounts I have found from r/nofap, ybop, yourbrainrebalanced, and rebootnation. This list is not comprehensive, but can hopefully give you the hope and courage to continue without relapse and without losing faith in the reboot process. While “90 days” is thrown around a lot, many people flatline from between 2 months and 2 years!

Here are some longer flatline accounts, from 2 months to 2 years, in order. I have tried to simply cut and paste them, in a few instances I had to splice sentences together to make the account make sense without the context of the whole original topic it was found in. Text within parenthesis I have added myself, for clarification.

Here they are:


Unfortunately, after only two/three weeks of sex i crashed dramatically into flatline. Flatline ended the relationship and i sat in it for 7 weeks (~2 months), until the last week of August 2013, with no libido, depression, no confidence…

I hit 3 flatlines before recovering permanently. First flatline was from days 0-28, second one was from days 31-38, third was from days 47-52 (essentially a 7 week flatline: ~2 months)

I had only one, but long flatline, more than 50 days (~2 months). So don't worry, eventually it will get better.

My flatline lasted 50 days (~2 months)

at day 75 till today: super hard erections after a super long flatline of 50 days (~2 months) (i almost gave up and thought i'd never regain my libido but boom!)

I just did 105 days of the reboot with no relapse. The first two months I experienced flat line

I think it’s safe to say my libido is back, but it was eight weeks (2 months) of no porn, masturbation or erotica, and minimal fantasy.

I started to flatline around day 7 ….lasted until about day 80 (2.5 months)

70 days of flatline!(2.5 months) There was simply nothing happening under my belt, my D was totally dead!

I started to flatline around day 7 ….lasted until about day 80 (2.5 months)

70 days of flatline!(2.5 months) There was simply nothing happening under my belt, my D was totally dead!

after a 7 week (~2 months) flatline, lots of sex in the last 5 days


had a flatline for 3 months and i started to slowly recover from it about 2 weeks ago

i flatlined for about 100 days (over 3 months)

I flatlined for 86 days- no orgasms/clean reboot.

I started flatlining on day 90 and it went for like 100 days (3 months). Was pretty insane.

As for the flatline, I had “dead dick” and “lifeless penis” from day 1 till 125 at least! (3.5 months)


I recently broke 120 days of hard mode (4 months)….My sex drive recently came back with a vengance.

for the first 100+ days I felt no superpowers and was mostly in flatline. Since about day 120 (4 months), I have felt great. I have so much energy, drive and determination.

I had a flat line pretty much the entire time up until 120 days (4 months)

(after 130 days=4 months): amazing libido. NO brain fog. Emotions I didn’t know I had.


I am almost at the 5 month mark..of hard mode…(most of it in flatline but starting to come out)

[flatline was] about 4 or 5 months. I wouldn’t say it was one flatline but a few ups and downs.

Only recently have [I] felt a decent libido returning….That’s a whopping 5 months or so

[I flatlined] at least 120 days. may have been as much as 150 (5 months), but can’t remember.


I got a huge. fucking. flatline. I’m talking 6+ months of no drive.

Took me about 6 months to get over my flatline. I was in a similar boat (12+ years of constant fapping to porn). Stay strong, and don't give up!! The porn will never cure you :D Great job!!!


I have reached a stage that I feel like my natural libido has almost evened out and I am no longer going through peaks and troughs. This took somewhere between 6 or 7 months.

In the 7th month my libido finally came back


I started 8 months ago, and am only now apparently off my flatline. The key was to cut out all stimulating images.

Each time [after orgasm] I’d wake up feeling like fucking hell. not just flatline but full on depression. orgasms no longer make me feel like shit. This was after going 7 or 8 month with zero PMO.


I was in and out of flatline up until 9 months (Gabe)

I had a flatline for 9 months. Unable to focus or concentrate on things, brain fog, zero libido, no motivation or emotions.


Hey man, I had flatline symptoms for almost a year so I can relate.


I am 26 years old, 19 months into a no-PMO reboot (~1.5 years) and have just begun feeling functional in society again.I had zero libido, many worsening mental symptoms and a near-inability to get hard


Months 2-24: FLATLINE. (~2 YEARS) No libido. No desire to have sex. No desire to masturbate. Feeling asexual. (Note: user made it clear that he had no medical or psychiatric conditions)

(He says socializing cured his flatline)

So I still can't believe what happened today. I've been in a severe flatline last weeks. Today I decided to take the bus to the city centre to walk around and have some people around me.....

Link - Still cannot believe what happened today. NoFap FTW!

The Dreaded Flatline comes and goes. The last few mornings I have woken up with raging hard-ons...something I haven't experienced in a very long time. The flatline really hit me around day 3, and it was the classic symptom of feeling like your dick/balls have shrunken into a lifeless piece of skin. Now my genitals seem more normal. As of this moment, my dick seems like what a dick should normally feel like, if that makes sense. 12 days down, on day 13.. My report thus far

There were a couple of 2-week cycles, for 2 weeks I would have a boner every day and strong sexual urges, and then for another 2 weeks nothing (flatline?). I've become more assertive, honest, confident and sociable. I'm getter more done.

My flatline of 100 days just ended holy shit

I almost fucked a 48 years old colleague at work today not even joking - I was hugging her and grew the biggest fucking boner and she refused to let me go and would just keep touching me and hugging me back, I almost ripped her clothes off and fucked her right on the desk even though I’m not even attracted to her. What the fuck is this.

God have mercy on my soul, no wonder I thought this journey was pretty ez, I had forgotten what it feels like to actually have a libido, and a hell of a fucking libido that is.

70 days of flatline! There was simply nothing happening under my belt, my D was totally dead!

That's what caused me to masturbate too much in the first place. I'd be sitting on my computer or doing some work and all of a sudden, out of the blue, I'd feel this intense feeling arise that compelled me towards seeking orgasm. I wasn't even thinking about anything sexual prior to that moment! So I would just masturbate, simply scratching the itch. But in these last 5 months, during the flatlining periods, sometimes a couple of days would go by and it wouldn't even occur to me to jerk it, and rightly so because in those times I wasn't around an attractive woman or in a sexual situation.

But don't worry, you haven't lost any of your libido or mojo.

Here's the best part: When I'm in a sexual situation or with a woman, or occassionally when I let my mind wander into the realm of sexual fantasies (not a good idea, makes things more difficult for you), my arousal feels so much richer and deeper, a fuller experience, and far more sexy. Feels damn good. Just trust that when you are with a girl, your erection will be there, right on cue, enthusiastic as ever and harder than ever before. In fact, I'm getting so turned on these days that just grinding on a woman is enough to make me cum. Yes, I've jizzed in my pants with more than one girl during NoFap :)

If you're worried about losing the energy and desire to go out and meet women because you're less horny now, it's got little to do with your flatline and more to do with your lifestyle. I suggest that you take advantage of other things to trigger your horniness.

The most important thing is start putting yourself in front of women. Go out to social events, or nightclubs, or meet friends of friends, or join evening extra-curricular classes and lessons. Even if you're 'not feeling horny anymore', I bet that once you start actually interacting with women more, your body will start to kick into high gear and the horniness will start to come back as your body responds to the women around you. Start talking to them, teasing them, laughing with them, flirting with them, and your body will reward you with the beautifully natural desire to put your dick in them.

I find I'm least horny when I'm not meeting women in the course of my daily life, because now with no promise of sexual release in my own hands and no women around me, what else is my mind to do but shut off its own arousal? It's like when you go without food for a while, first you're really hungry then you stop being hungry. Your body adapts. Put a nice steak dinner in front of you and all of a sudden that hunger comes right back.

If you're flatlining, put some real life women, sexy women, in front of you and tell me you're still not feeling the horniness.

And as much as it is said on this subreddit, do work your body!

Lift weights, or even cardio is better than nothing. And consider kegel exercises. All of these things get your mojo going, I don't know why or how, all I know is they do work. There were times where I'd sit at home and do nothing, and blamed only NoFap for my flatline. Now that I'm working my body hard, I'm finding the flatline is diminishing (making NoFap tougher for me). Now when I see attractive girls on the street, I get that electric feeling buzzing through my body again.

Let's just say that flatlining were to occur in cycles, and I dip in and out of flatline phases for as long as I NoFap, I'd never use it as a reason to quit NoFap...I'm enjoying the feeling of self-discipline too much.

For people who are considering masturbating once a week or so in order to remove the flatline, realize how tough that actually is.

I think people who masturbate exactly once a week have way more discipline than me, even though I'm almost at 5 months. Because those people will never get to the flatline phase, and will be in a constant 'chaser effect' phase. I'd much rather not make my life about constantly fighting the desire to masturbate. I'd rather be in an onoing 'flatline' phase (I'm putting it in quotes now quite deliberately), but where everytime I'm in a situation with sexual overtones my sexual response is always there and even more potent than it would have been pre-NoFap. These ideas of masturbating once a week were something I had too, then I realized these they were just rationalizations caused by 2 things: horniness and self-sabotage.

Don't let your horniness get the better of you under the guise of eliminating the flatline to help you meet more women, that's you trying to sabotage yourself.

If you've told yourself you're going to do NoFap, then just do it, flatline or not.

Very long flatline!

I just wanted to add for any worried about flatlining. I last masturbated October 25 2012. I had absolutely NO libido for 18+ months. I was curious why, and this was before I discovered the flatline. However, it was the best thing for me! For 35 years I was in the pit of sexual addiction that caused multiple disasters in my life. The flatline allowed me to forget sex (I was also divorced at this same time) and concentrate on getting my life in order. A main piece of this was healing the underlying wounds that were causing me to use sexual addiction as medicine.

I now have a very good libido, I'm 52yrs old, I get very hard in my sleep and love waking up with wood that could kill! Lol I look forward to someday being reconciled with my wife and being able to have the type of sexual love affair we both dreamed of but never had.

Things seem more.. More REAL!!

As stated above, things are more REAL. More vivid! It's crazy. As soon as I started NOFAP I hit a MAJOR flatline. I'm talking anxiety, depression, dull, crappy mood. No drive to do anything. Music and videogames were not even enjoyable and negative thoughts were ramped 24/7. It got better as time went on. I'm on day 46, I just created an account to tell you guys.. LIFE DOES GET BETTER.

Maybe you are questioning the point of NOfap, I mean we all know, it's easier just to give up right? But no, push through the hard points. It gets better. The past few days I have been feeling much better. Sex drive is back, excitement and joy for life is back full-force, I feel like I did as a young teenage boy. Life is just awesome.

Allow your brain to Re-wire to REAL stimulus. Hanging with friends, working out, going hiking, natural things we are made to ENJOY are now enjoyable. Start on healthy eating, cold showers & weightlifting. Don't forget meditation. Things do improve, I promise.

My flaccid size has decreased dramatically. Since the second or third day since starting this (I'm 30+ days in now), I haven't had any morning response. I don't know if it's endocrine or neurologically driven.

(Age 24) Next 6 weeks - FLATLINE this was the worst. It felt like someone had "pulled the plug." My little man felt lifeless and dead it was scary! I kept reading posts about the flatline to keep me encouraged that I was gonna come out of it. And I did! Had my first wet dream in years and it was amazing. Then I felt back to normal. So please don't give in. The flatline will end.

The flatline is kind of scary. Even tried wiggling it around a bit but, nope, lifeless. Might as well have had a gherkin hanging down there for a week.

After a few days of brain tantrums (cravings), flatline for several weeks. Basically I just felt totally indifferent about girls, sex, everything. There’s a little nagging voice from the PMO beast that nagged at me in the back of my mind, but mostly, I just didn’t care. And my penis was just very lifeless and small. It was like somebody just pulled the plug on whatever machines provides my sex drive. No libido at all.

I flatlined for 3 weeks. My penis was completely dead and useless, but now it's big and firm.

Day 6 - As for raw, physical observations regarding my penis; since the start of my streak, I haven't had one full erection, no morning wood, and it looks smaller (like when it's cold out or when you get out of the shower).

I think I have been through about three flatlines so far. To describe them is easy. It's a cloudy, depressing feeling most of the time, with a very flaccid penis. I would say it feels like sitting in darkness for a long time. Each one has lasted about a week and an half with brief periods of peace in between. I am really hoping this was my last one. My erections are back to 85-90%.

It has been 2 weeks since I used porn or orgasmed. I just had sex with my girlfriend, and wasn't feeling very turned on. Lackluster erection and early ejaculation. I used to be rock hard for hours a few years ago! Will this get better? I'm worried.[A few days later] It really helped to clarify how common these symptoms are! I am seeing positive signs: morning wood twice and a middle-of-the-night erection last night, both of which felt about 70-80 percent full! It's great to see these physical changes early.

I'm also past the dead penis stage, which was pretty weird. My penis just feels fuller at all times. I am beginning to feel stimulated and get half hard without touching, and only thinking about my girlfriend. All good signs; I'm on the yellow brick road!

After 1 week, it felt as if my penis had no life. That it basically was dead. I was afraid as hell. But after two-three weeks, the morning erections started returning. They were not strong at all (Only like 20% strong) but they have improved and I would say they regularly are around 70% [at one month] .

Over 60 days...No Libido 

As I write this, I'm 63 days into nofap and I have seen some positive signs throughout my journey. I started mainly because of ED as well as finding myself using porn as a crutch to have sex with women. I've had sex infrequently (maybe 4 or 5 times) and i enjoyed it very much. I noticed I was much more sensitive and i felt very in the moment....not withdraw, not thinking of porn. At times, I've also had very strong erections when I wake up in the morning.

One thing I have not experienced yet is my "real" libido coming back. Throughout the whole journey, I have not been horny. The times I have had sex I was not in the mood although my partner eventually got me there. On top of this, last week I started noticing that I was flatlining again (this is the second time during nofap) to the point where my penis felt lifeless.

I just wanted to post somewhat of a status update and see how my experiences compare to others'. I know everybody is different, and that's what I'm interested in.

[Age 37, Day 40 no PMO] For me the flatline thing first went for about 20 days. Then there was a super-intense urge to O. I would feel drunk on horniness, but wouldn't have an erection. Some days, if I wore silk boxers and drove on a bumpy road, I would feel like I might have an O while driving, even though I didn't have an erection at all. Just these waves of warm, erectionless horniness.

Just observing, it seems to me that these washes of total horniness without an erection are some kind of leftover process from watching porn. When I first watched porn, I felt like I was going to have an O without an erection. That's how powerful an effect the porn had on me. I think my brain probably just dumped an overdose of dopamine, and yeah it certainly feels great.

I'm guessing the tolerance is way up there for people who have watched porn for years, and we don't feel this wash anymore. They need the porn-level stimulation just to function, like a junkie who needs drugs just to feel like they are at their own baseline.So anyway, after will-powering through a few days of intense desire for an O, I went into a sort of a flatline again, for a few weeks. There is something ok about this.

Actually, now I have to say I think it's a good idea to be ok with the flatline. Here is why. We have been obsessed with sexual imagery. Not just imagery, but forms of stimulation which don't exist in real life. In porn the camera moves around, one scene cuts to the next, magical orgies, etc.

Our flatline comes because we are not yet re-acclimated to real life. In real life we get aroused because we are sitting next to our lady at the movie theater and she is saying intelligent things and playing with her hair, or because she keeps taking sips of cranberry juice and fluttering her eyelashes, or we are just thinking about making out with our girl on the couch.

So, we need the flatline period to get from artificial dopamine overdose levels back to being able to get aroused by the real world. And over the past few days I have been. I've noticed all through this process there have been fairly regular erections in the morning, though generally they are on the weak side and only last a few seconds after I wake up.

But these past five days or so, I've been waking up with fairly normal fantasies in my head and the erections have lasted for quite some time. They've also started happening at random times, while driving and not thinking about anything.

One thing I REALLY hate about beginning a reboot is that the balls tend to get really, really small before they start to get big again. A lot of the time it feels like they're trying to crawl back into my body. Surely as I've stopped emptying them, they should maybe at least stay the same size, not shrivel?

(Age 38 - Day 60) When I go noPMO, there is a period in which my penis feels like a cold dead withered fish. It's small, nothing seems to stimulate it, and it actually looks white and dead. It's a little nerve-wracking. Right now, after 60 days, I'm getting spontaneous and huge erections. It comes and goes though. Last night, it had the cold dead fish syndrome again. It's still kind of in that phase, but some stimulation will help it grow a little. However, I pretty much always wake up with morning wood now. Hardness and duration vary. A few weeks ago I had an erection in the morning that was probably the biggest, strongest thing I've had in years. I was amazed.

(Day 12) I'm still flat lining, my penis is unresponsive and small but I knew that was to be expected going into this so I'm not too worried and honestly I'm enjoying not being ruled my my PMO cravings.

Shrinkage is a common experience and pretty scary while your member looks like it's getting reabsorbed into your pelvis. After a while things return to normal and maybe even improve. Hard to tell unless maybe you're measuring with calipers etc. In sum, don't worry about it. It is definitely part of the process.

[Report on symptoms after a month of rebooting]-ED (Working on it with some progress)- No morning erections (Some progress)- Cold penis (Gone)

I’m desperate. My penis is dead and my libido is dead after 3 weeks, is this normal? I'm getting so depressed. I think I’m worse than before, doing no PMO. I’ve used lots of porn stimulation, but with time it caused me ED. I’m desperate and fear to lose my 8-year relationship.

My libido kind of plummeted this week (week 10). The problem I had a few weeks ago, where my penis retracted itself appearing like I just had a cold shower, came back. I'm not stressing about it though, I figure it's just another phase in my recovery. (Read his full rebooting account.)

[Day 35] I never realized how serious my ED problem was until I came to this site. My penis feels so tiny and lifeless in general right now, which worries me a little bit.

I've noticed the 'dead penis' syndrome. After about 4-5 days my libido is absolutely shot and my penis shrivels up to nothing. It's terrifying actually.

I wake up every morning hoping there is something...anything....but nope. Day after day there is just nothingness. I felt better fighting The Urge because at least I knew there was something going on, but there is no Urge now. Also, does anyone feel that their penis feels cold? Or maybe it's just my mind playing tricks on me.

My penis is limp. I get random erections, but it's extremely, if that makes any sense. Like it's just there. It's shrinks a lot. And I don't know why. I can have sex if the time comes around, but when I'm not aroused, it just goes completely dead!!!

Apart from mild headaches and restless sleep, I haven't had the withdrawal symptoms many people mention. Instead, I feel nothing. It's like I just don't have a libido. No morning wood. No wet dreams. No spontaneous erections. No cravings. Haven't been horny. I've had opportunities to have sex but my body is not responding.

I'm taking tango classes, so I'm reasonably social but still no sign of my libido. I can dance with a beautiful girl and have no physical reaction whatsoever. I'm aware cerebrally that a girl is attractive, but I don't feel it physically.

The softness and shriveling are absolutely part of it. I would go a week or so no PMO and then give in because I was so horny, or else I would do PM just in hopes it would charge up my libido. This only made things worse. You will have to go through some weeks—some people go months—where you are worried that your libido is going away forever and even more worried your penis is getting so small you think it's retracting into your stomach like the head of turtle. It's terrifying. It really is.

Age 34 - 8 years of ED (graphs showing progress over several months)

The weeks where the my daily boners were low I found to be the hardest weeks of the process. These are the "flatlines," and it's very easy to turn back to porn just to try and get your daily boner count back up. You start thinking that maybe this isn't working, but I'm telling you, these are the most important times to stick to your resolve.

I wanted to be with girls, as my solo sexual experiences were just depressing. So I decided to quit masturbation and said to myself, "Orgasms could only come from girls." This forced me to go out approach, and flirt with, girls. One side-effect of the 'I am not allowed to masturbate' is that I stopped watching porn. I didn't know about this website or porn addictions at this point, so I was sort of giving up PMO by accident.

I was surprised. I quickly started to feel attraction for girls. I was horny and knowing I could only get sexual gratification from a girl (my self-imposed rule) started to actively approach and pursue girls. I met this amazing girl one night when clubbing. We had a surreal connection, with stupidly high levels of attraction, kissing, grinding, and feeling each other's bodies all over on the dance floor. I asked her to come back with me that night, but we said she didn't know me enough. I went home and despite wanting some release, didn't allow myself to masturbate.

We met again and ended up in her room. I was nervous, as it had been so long since I had been in bed with a girl. We kissed passionately and undressed each other, but I wasn't getting an erection. Nothing. In fact, my dick was tiny and completely limp. Nothing she did had any effect. She was really understanding, and said "It's your body there is nothing to be ashamed of".

She was totally comfortable with her own body, and loved being naked. We spent the whole night lying naked together talking, relaxed and comfortable. It felt great.

The next day I got home and went to my room to masturbate to see if everything was still working. The experience was disconcerting. First, I struggled to get hard, and then when I did I would lose it. It took about 1.5 hours before I had an orgasm, using the most intense fantasy and hand action I knew.

At this point, I assumed that abstaining from masturbation was not a good thing! No PMO forced me to meet girls—but it also seemed to kill my erections. A Catch 22. (I didn't know about rebooting, flatlining etc.)

[Two weeks since porn use and orgasm] I feel more relaxed, but my penis is extremely shrunken and so are my testicles. I don't know why, but they are.

It's amazing how the great libido pendulum swings around. The last week or so, as I have been purging sexual fantasy out of my mind and dealing with the grubby withdrawals from that, I have felt lost, lonely, confused, almost asexual, worried, anxious and depressed. The only thing that was keeping me going was faith in my creator, nature and in the reboot process.

Getting fantasy out of your system starts out as a hard task. It starts to get easier after a while. Then you notice that your libido starts to completely depart from you, even in your mind. You start to lose all desire for sex. At that point, I started to panic, I tried to force fantasy with little to no results on the penis. Many times I would try to fantasize and I had a hard time constructing a fantasy at all. It was like a skill that I was losing the ability for. At some point I just completely let go. I figured if fantasy was going to be that hard to conjure, I might as well just relax and let it truly pass away.

This results in a flatline of the libido, both in the pants and in the brain (was scaring the SH*T out of me).

But, as I said in my last post, the night is darkest before the dawn...Today was incredible! For the first time since I can remember, probably when I was 23 or so, I had spontaneous erections in public induced by nothing more than the presence of beautiful women. I felt like an animal! But in a good way! I knew something was different on my drive into town. I saw a woman jogging and suddenly I felt a rush of blood down there. I wasn't fantasizing at all; it just happened. I saw another woman and it happened again, only stronger. And another and again and stronger still.

What was going on?

I was in orientation for my new job and there were quite a few very well dressed hotties in the room - one was sitting next to me. About five minutes into one of the presentations (I was actually paying attention believe it or not), the girl next to me started playing with her hair. I was instantly aroused - I couldn't help it! There were probably a total of 5 very attractive women in my field of view, and I started really noticing them. Some were making eye contact and some weren't. I started feeling like a damn baboon! Before I knew it, SSHHWWWIINNG! We have liftoff!

The funny thing is, I was capable of paying adequate attention to the presentations while covering up my boner with my books. I had probably a 50% 60% erection for about a total of half an hour or more during the pres. NO fantasy, truly spontaneous - just from looking and eye contact. There were probably times where it spiked up to about 80% which was enough to cause the books to start jumping up and down (I am a compulsive PC muscle flexer lol!). I scooted back in my chair and sat forward to cage the madness. All day I have felt as horny as ever. It probably has something to do with being at Vanderbilt all day surrounded by angels.

Seriously guys, I am 30 and, until I discovered my PMO addiction and this site, I was convinced that this level of virility was simply gone with age. I was buying in to all that western medicine corporate propaganda with viagra commercials starring guys in their 30's.

Have you all noticed that? It seems that lately viagra and cialis have been targeting younger and younger guys. Anyway, it is all BULLSHIT! Though the great libido pendulum in my brain is not likely done with all of its bouncing around, I am seeing dramatic improvement.

Today was simply incredible. 48 days and pressing on. I plan to go 90 days or until I feel like the improvements have reached a general plateau.

I stopped PMO over 2 weeks ago, and to my surprise, I have had literally no cravings for porn at all. It seems like I've jumped straight into flatlining?? I've had some tiny flashes of horniness here and there, but they are very few and far in between. I have only had 2 strong erections in the last 16 days, and one I believe was caused by a semi-awake dream of porn-related images, which I couldn't really control. Otherwise I have been as limp as a noodle.

This cold turkey thing is just so brutal. Seriously, it's almost like my dick freezes off, like some necro-organ or something.

(Day 52) Today, after about six weeks of what seemed like the flatline which people talk about, I was hit with the strongest and most persistent urge of the war so far. It was like a sucker punch from George Foreman. Thank God I was at work and keeping busy when this wrecking ball hit me, for I would surely have fallen if alone at home. For almost the entire work day, sexual thoughts were constantly entering my mind. That in itself is not so peculiar, but the ferocity with which it consumed me was precisely that. The fiercest erections threatened to puncture my dress pants -- erections unlike any I experienced in the midst of my addiction -- a blessing but also a curse. Many times I had to raise myself off my chair to vainly relieve some of the undue pressure in my loins and what I assume is the area of the prostate.

It was a battle that subsided eventually, and while I never touched myself (I was at work for crying out loud), I certainly edged in my mind, considering how I let the sexual thoughts drag on unnecessarily. I will not be resetting my badge, but I think it's essential to point out that edging always begins in the mind. There is always a mental submission to the urge that precedes the physical submission. I gave in mentally, and only my temporary circumstances prevented it from maturing into physical fruition.

One positive thing I noticed about the battle today -- my thoughts were no longer about porn, nor was my first inclination to masturbate. I realized my sole desire was for actual sex with a woman. I lack a key component for that to happen at the moment, but it's very encouraging to know that the reboot is working.

(Day 30) My flatline basically started after the first week. Or at least what I call flatline. I will try to elaborate. I do get morning erections to about 70-80% percent strength I guess. Some days I have sex drive or rather feel horny, but always with dead-dick symptoms. I call it that my Libido makes these jolts, and they last for maybe an hour.

But the rest of the time, maybe 95% of my time awake, I have absolutely no sex drive. No spontaneous erections. It's a very strange feeling when you look at a beautiful woman and in your head you have your normal thoughts like "Wow, shes beutiful I would like to get to know her"! and yet you have sexual thoughts or intentions. It's a very strange and for me quite a scary experience. It's like you've been castrated...

[Sometimes the flatline shows up as flat emotions.] At 87 days I have had a long flatline with spurts of life in between. I've almost gotten used to the feeling. I know this can't be normal. It will pass. The signs of life have shown me the light. I have some of my personality back, but I know it's not the whole story. I felt very very bland at one point though.

(2 weeks into reboot) A few other withdrawal symptoms have sprung up. I feel tired all the time, and my head feels like it's stuffed with cotton. I don't really feel "present" in life right now. My penis still looks and feels dead; haven't been able to get much of a reaction out of it.

I'm dealing with severe shrinkage of my genitals. WTF? My balls are bigger then my dick. Really weird. On the other hand the fact that my morning wood is returning is definitely a positive sign.

(Day 28) My penis is comically small - just about non-existent (sometimes I even have issues holding it while urinating).

Day 17 no pmo now. Some days I feel like I have a sex drive or feel horny - but always with dead-dick symptoms! It's like my dick won't wake up lol. Today is the first day I'm feeling more horny, but not as dead as before!

About my flatline. When people say they feel like their dick is dead, they arent exaggerating. Iit literally feels lifeless. It feels like a burden to have to carry it around.

So a few days ago I posted about having successful intercourse after PMO-induced ED. At the time, it felt great and I was really pleased. Had nice morning wood for several days afterwards and felt like I could easily have PIV sex with my significant other again.

Starting yesterday, I feel like I'm flatlining again. "Dead dick" and no spontaneous erections to speak of save weak morning wood. I haven't been fapping and I can't think of anything else in my life that might be causing this.

My Flat-lining Experiment- Warning: Anecdotal Evidence

I wouldn't say any 'super powers' have been particular evident, other than a consistency in personality. I am no longer hostage to the random highs and low associated with frequent PMO, and it is this quality that i would attribute my recent ability to maintain a healthy relationship:

After meeting a girl 20 days in, and following up to the point where we are now in a relationship (despite her being waaayy out of my league) i soon found myself in a terrifying position. One night we go out with friends, im drinking, shes see where this is going. When it came to actually doing the deed however my little fella wasn't up to the task :( No worries, i pass this off as whiskey-dick.

However what followed was the strange phenomenon known as flatling. It lasted for a week after this night, and with a complete lack of sex drive i start worrying heavily about whether i'll be able to get it up next time.I have never had erectile dysfunction, however i also never gone so long without masturbating before.. i did not know what to expect.

Despite a complete lack of sexual desire towards anything over this week, when it came to actually being with my girl, i was out of my mind horny...throbingly so. I feel i can take this as evidence my brain has been rewired to be stimulated only be real life interaction, and am proud i have stuck it out to experience this wonderful realization.

Flatline success

Last September I broke up with the girl I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with after finding out she was cheating on me. I was with her for just over four years, she was my first love. Can't say I PMO'd loads during the relationship, maybe 2/3 times a week or so, but was used to regular sex with her, maybe 3/4 times a week. I was down in the dumps for a long time after we broke up and long story short was fapping to porn, a lot, sometimes 3 times a day on a weekend. I knew it wasn't healthy and I should stop but I didn't. Had a wakeup call when I got with this amazing, gorgeous woman (my now current gf) and my erection was just non-existent, I'd never had ED before and it was terrible as fellow sufferers will well know. Luckily she was very good with me as she has had issues with sex before because she has endometriosis. I immediately stopped masterbating cold turkey and the flatline hit me like a tonne of bricks, just completely lifeless, long story short this went on for around 3 months where I couldn't get it up for sex and was worsened by my worrying that nothing would happen, I remember a couple of times she'd give me a blowjob and I couldn't get anywhere past a semi, demoralising for both of us to say the least.

Jump to last weekend, I hadn't seen my girlfriend for about 2 weeks and for the first time in months felt horny and couldn't wait to see her and have sex. I wasn't worried about ED, I almost knew it was going to be fine. We met and had the most amazing sex, I can't remember any better than that. Not only that, after sex I maintained my erection after we had stopped, she noticed after about 10 minutes and said let's not let it go to waste.

I feel like a totally new, more confident person with a raging libido. I said to myself I'd write a post when I get through this to thank everyone here for everything I've read, good luck and cheers guys you da real MVPs.

 Sometimes your penis comes alive when it needs to:

  • (NPH to thegreat123) I'm over 145 days and I have zombie penis but when I have sex I do get an erection. The morning wood and spontaneous erections have gone. The recovery is not linear so it's frustrating to suffer zombie penis after such a long time without porn and masturbation. I find it really easy to avoid porn and have no desire to watch it even when my sex drive escalated. We all just need to be patient
  • (thegreat123 replies to NPH) Yea I have a dead penis too but I haven't attempted having sex to see how I am doing in that regard. Morning woods were happening around days 30 to 35 or so but now there is not anymore morning wood and no spontaneous erections. I too find it easy to avoid porn and masturbation. Thanks for sharing that you are 145 days in and still are having issues. I was beginning to think that I was the only one suffering from a dead penis this late in the reboot process but I am just getting started.

Not everyone finds the flatline unpleasant:

  • I'm having very little fantasies and also very little erectile activity and no morning wood. I guess I'm giving my brain finally that needed rest.. there have been some days with more libido, but still no real erections. It seems like I've hit this state where I seem able to continue forever this way. It took many months to develop the mindset that is required for this, and every relapse was part of that process. So don't give up.
  • Also, letting desire go feels good. It's not that I want to be desire-less forever, but right now I'm having all the success I want with women. I don't have to get them in bed. Just having fun with them and fooling around is already success. And the women seem to appreciate that. And I in turn appreciate female contact more than ever. It helps so much in this process.


  • I think that realizing that flatline symptoms are a normal body response is key. A lot of men's self-esteem and identity actually revolve around their penis :), or better saying about their perception of their sexuality. And the erection being an involuntary and unconscious process, this trap is actually a very common and strong one for men.
  • I will read with interest What do I tell my girlfriend? Actually I have been able to share this with a girl (female) friend and was the very reason behind my initial motivation to look for more information. I think that being able to share this experience with a woman, in the context of a relationship, is something that I do want. I mean, I think that falling into the trap of porn also means that I was not able to share my feelings and myself in the context of a working relationship with a woman. So I even see a positive intention of porn induced ED: sort of having a signal from my whole being that I want more, that I want to share myself and connect deeply with a woman. Strangely enough, I see porn induced ED as a great opportunity and motivation to achieve this, as I strive for recovery. :) I mean: if I didn't have porn induced ED, I would probably be hooked to porn ad eternum, and would never actually want to connect with a woman on a deeper level. 


Another angle on the science behind the flatline

This scientist doesn't speak in terms of addiction-related changes, but he describes how learning changes the brain. Addiction is pathological learning. This exchange appeared on under "AskScience."

Why does abstaining from porn/masturbation/orgasm temporarily decrease as opposed to increase libido?

In /r/nofap there's a move to 'reboot' one's overstimulated brain to restore the sensitivity to sexual arousal. (The whole mechanism is described at However there is a period during this abstinence called 'flatlining' where you have little to no libido, and it happens to pretty much all the guys who do it. For some there's only one flatlining period, for others there are more. For some it lasts days, for others months.

My question is why does this happen? I would have expected that abstaining from these things would increase libido, so I'm wondering about the scientific explanation for this (either physical/chemical or mental). Thanks.


I think the reason we might assume libido to increase is because we intuitively accept the idea that our behavior is controlled by basic drives (hunger, sex, etc) and that we work to return these levels to some kind of homeostasis. This is essentially what the psychoanalysts argued with their "steam engine" theory of anger (also known as 'catharsis theory'), in that you have to "let off steam" sometimes so that you don't take it out on other people and so you can get it under control.

Turns out, these ideas of behavior aren't very accurate. Drive theory turned out to be a very poor explanation for behavior, and it reached the point where to explain behavior, we had to keep creating new "drives" like "money drives" and "exercise drives" etc. It became unscientific, unparsimonious, and was dropped from science (a good discussion can be found in Mazur's "Learning and Behavior"). This isn't to say that there aren't foundational or basic biological elements which influence, direct, or control certain behaviors, but just that thinking of them in terms of "drives" or us trying to "satisfying urges" doesn't explain behavior very well.

Whilst it may make sense to us on an everyday level to believe that "venting" can relieve an urge to do something, the actual fact is that the opposite occurs. What happens is that standard behavioral laws still apply to our behavior; that is, if the consequence of an action is pleasurable, then we are more likely to repeat it (operant conditioning). So instead of relieving our urges, we actually start to strengthen these associations and make them more likely to occur again in the future. This means that if we're angry and we go beat up a punching bag for 30 minutes, our anger will increase and we will be more likely to snap at people.

The same principle applies to all behaviors, and so it should apply in the case of abstaining from sexual gratification. When you abstain, you are not only reversing the effects of habituation on sensitivity, but you're also putting yourself through a kind of "extinction procedure" where you are decreasing a behavior (in this case the "urge" or "libido") by removing the positive reinforcement that comes along with it.

And then there's the fact that you're breaking a number of behavioral chains and sequences by abstaining - so previously turning on your computer late at night might have led to a certain activity, now all it signifies is that you're browsing reddit or ebay or something. These cues that trigger behaviors are discriminative stimuli, and just like people who try to quit smoking but find it more difficult to resist when they're drinking (because they used to do the two together), you can get the same thing with activities like masturbation. Changing your behaviors can break these behavioral chains, which in part account for the associated feelings of arousal and our libido.

tl;dr: Basic behavioral mechanisms can account (at least in part) for the phenomenon you described - operant conditioning, habituation, extinction, etc.

Original poster (again)

Interesting, do you imagine the pleasurable stimulus (libido in this case) would settle a new lower baseline permanently, or would it eventually go back to original levels after the body has become 'accustomed' to the new sensitivity?


Well I have no evidence or research to back this up, but I would have assumed that it would be temporary - at least for most people. This is due to the simple fact that 1) there are many, many cues which can trigger a behavior that can be difficult to get rid of for ingrained patterns (which is why it's hard to shake bad habits), and 2) genital stimulation generally feels pretty good, so even when you're not actively engaging in masturbation, there's still touching from cleaning genitals in the shower, accidental effects of fabrics rubbing against them, for guys there are erections from arousing visual stimuli, etc, and all this will usually make people want to keep doing it rather than abstain completely.

Whether it returns to the "original levels" or not is dependent on the consequences of the behavior. Different patterns of reinforcement whilst re-creating similar behavioral sequences may result in it being less frequent, or perhaps even more frequent.

How do I know if my ED is porn-related? (TEST)

A lot of guys don't notice that their performance problems are becoming more serious. Logically, they (and their doctors) assume that if they can get off to porn, they don't have sexual dysfunction. They assume that any problem lies with drug or alcohol use, or their choice of partner. Perhaps she's not hot enough, not their type, reminds them of their ex, or is too sexually aggressive.

Most have to fail repeatedly with different partners before they start looking for answers. If they were masturbating without porn most would quickly realize that neither intoxication nor performance anxiety can fully account for their problem (although performance anxiety can certainly contribute to the problem once the performance problems begin).

Wondering if your problem is porn-related?

The first bit of advice is to see a good urologist and rule out any medical abnormality. Once you have ruled out organic causes, try this simple test to isolate porn-induced ED from performance anxiety-induced ED.

  1. On one occasion masturbate to your favorite porn (or simply recall it).
  2. On another masturbate with no porn/porn fantasy. That is, no recalling of porn.

Compare the quality of your erection and the time it took to climax (if you can). A healthy young man should have no trouble attaining a full erection and masturbating to orgasm without porn or porn fantasy.

  • If you have a strong erection in #1, but erectile dysfunction in #2, then you have porn-induced ED. 
  • If #2 is strong and solid, but you have trouble with a real partner, then you have anxiety-induced ED.
  • If you have problems during both 1 and 2, you may have severe porn-induced ED, or an organic problem. When in doubt, see a good urologist.

The above test is helpful to differentiate porn-induced ED from performance anxiety because you cannot have anxiety about performance with your own hand. (You've known each other for a long time.)

What this test cannot do:

  1. It cannot necessarily help you differentiate between organic ED (hormonal, vascular) and severe porn-induced ED, as many men with porn-induced ED cannot maintain an erection even with porn. This is why you need to see a doctor.
  2. It also cannot assess if your ED arises from severe psychological issues such as clinical depression.
  3. It is not meant to assess whether you have recovered from porn-induced ED or not. Only time with a real partner can answer that question. (see How do I know when I'm back to normal?).

Other symptoms that may be associated with porn-induced brain changes:

  • Difficulty reaching orgasm with a partner (delayed ejaculation)
  • Experiencing greater sexual excitement with porn than with a partner
  • Decreasing sensitivity of penis
  • Ejaculating when you are only partly erect, or getting totally erect only as you come
  • Needing to fantasize to maintain erection or interest with sexual partner
  • Earlier genres of porn are no longer "exciting"
  • Declining sexual arousal with a sexual partner(s)
  • Losing erection while attempting penetration
  • Can't maintain erection or ejaculate with oral sex

"masturbate all you want, that is not the problem" said the therapist....(May, 2015)

One of the first questions he asked me was about my porn consumption. I immediately got defensive and asked why he was asking that, and he said that it is a standard question he asks, because it has become such a problem. For some reason I felt comfortable with the guy and I just opened up and started telling him everything.

I asked him what he could do to help, if he knew any methods etc.... and his response has always stuck with me. He said something like "Do you think it's your body that needs release or your brain that needs entertainment?" I had never thought about it in those terms, but after a pause, I replied it was my mostly my body.

He then said "My professional opinion is that you should masturbate all you want between now and our next appointment. I only give you one condition. Do it ONLY thinking about how good it feels. NO visualization or stimulation. Doesn't matter if it's triple X hardcore or the Victoria's Secret catalog that came in the mail; don't close your eyes and imagine anything, past experiences or fantasies etc.... When you have an itch, you simply scratch it. You don't need to watch videos of others itching, or close your eyes and think about itching."

It was amazing how right he was. I could not do it! I soon discovered that my masturbation was an excuse to look at porn or dip in to my fantasy world, more than the other way around. Every time I tried to just clear my mind I started to lose the desire and my mind would race for some simulation.

That talk was several years ago and since then I have continued to struggle. What I can absolutely share is that we are not fulfilling a physical need when we fap. I used to think 'I need to get a nut' and 'it's just natural' but those are both wrong. I don't need to get a nut, if I did then I could do so easily without any porn.

I am not encouraging anyone who has gone hard mode to relapse, but if you are still doing it, try it next time with your computer turned off, and your eyes open. Don't think about your favorite fantasy. You will soon really feel an almost uncontrollable 'need' to fantasize.

From a forum post (September, 2012)

Yeah, I have had a talk w/ my urologist about this bc I was being tested for lowish testosterone.  He mentioned that more and more young men were coming in talking about having ED and that he estimated that over the past year about 50% of his patients for ED were probably younger than 35.  So either we are just having huge effects from increasing toxins that are in our world that affect men (which may play a part and is possible) or (more likely) this porn stuff is REALLY screwing with us.  He also mentioned that although a lot of these patients have lower than normal T levels, they aren't low enough that they should be seriously complaining about ED.

How long will it take to recover from Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunction?

Dangers of rebooting

Video: How long to recover from porn-induced erectile dysfunction (PIED)? by Noah B. Church

This is the number one question we get from guys suffering porn-induced ED. However, we cannot predict how long it will take for your erectile health to return. Among those who stick with it, progression is surprisingly similar—when guys completely stop pornography, porn fantasy and masturbation. Symptoms and feedback indicate that eliminating or drastically reducing masturbation produces a deeper withdrawal and shorter rebooting period. Here's one guy's account:

I'm very close to 90 days and just want to share my thoughts. In a nutshell, there IS light at the end of the tunnel, but there can be a good month of flatline [no libido] before you get there. From what I've read, the flatline seems to put people off. They go for 7 days and feel like superman. Then it just seems to die. I believe that a short-term reboot will bring short-term benefits. (i.e., 7-day testosterone spike, which is just a taste of things to come).

Only after a few months have I now begun to feel the long-term benefits. After around 70 days, I pretty much felt good all the f**king time! My anxiety is gone; my depression is gone; I'm fitter, healthier, and am no longer a slave to the opposite sex. I no longer see women as goddesses because I'm not craving them to begin with.

Although the recovery process is not linear (good days are followed by bad days and vice versa), here's what often occurs:

  1. Withdrawal symptoms and cravings usually occur immediately. However, some guys notice a rapid return of libido and confidence for a week or two...followed by a flatline that goes on for for weeks. See number 3 below.
  2. Absence of libido and erections, increased flaccidity ("shrinking or lifeless penis"): Often begins towards the end of week one, but can be highly variable. Continues for 2-8 weeks, dependent upon age one started and severity of porn use. However, some guys take longer and exit, then reenter flat-line period,
  3. Gradual return of morning erections, libido and occasional spontaneous erections at other times (still with "flat" days interspersed). Not all men experience a return of spontaneous erections.
  4. No more "semen leakage" during bowel movements, etc.
  5. Return of good erections, sexual desire for real partners, reports of extremely pleasurable sex, contented condom use even if it was once a problem.
  6. May be continued improvements in erection quality, libido and sexual pleasure for months following the return of quality erections.

A few rare fellows recover very quickly, within a few weeks. It's unlikely they had developed addiction-related brain changes. A few guys recover within 4 - 6 weeks. Most older guys, who did not grow up with the Internet, recover after 8-12 weeks of no porn, no masturbation and no orgasm. However, they will continue to see improvements after their erections return.

More than a few take 3-6 months, or longer to regain erectile health. Recent rebooting accounts indicate that young guys who started on high speed Internet porn at an early age can take 9 months or longer, and will continue to experience improvements for months after the return of healthy erections.

A list of possible factors that may affect length of recovery:

  1. How consistent one is with no porn (and probably no masturbation or orgasm)
  2. Age one started porn. Younger means stronger brain wiring for porn, and weaker wiring for the real deal. If masturbation began with Internet porn use, the pathways can be very deep. If you started masturbation and Internet porn in early adolescence (or if porn use preceded masturbation), recovery may take 3-6 months, or longer. Please be patient and see - 1) Adolescent Brain Meets Highspeed Internet Porn 2) Started on Internet porn and my reboot (ED) is taking too long; 3) Young Porn Users Need Longer To Recover Their Mojo; 4) Gary and Gabe discuss recovery from porn-related ED (show #9)
  3. Little or no contact with real partners usually mean longer. Guys who started porn early, and have experienced little or no sexual intimacy, need to rewire their sexual arousal to real partners.
  4. If you have a partner, it may speed up the process. Helps rewire your sexual response to a real human.
  5. Length of porn use. Longer may mean longer recovery.
  6. How often porn was used for masturbation. Always or occasionally.
  7. Frequency of PMO sessions (per week, per day)
  8. Previous periods of abstinence from porn. Recent periods of abstinence means faster recovery.
  9. The genre of porn currently used for masturbation. The more shocking or disturbing it is for the user, the more the brain has adapted.
  10. If you have developed porn-induced fetishes, it may take longer to be aroused by "vanilla" sex.
  11. Initial sensitivity of the brain to addiction (genetics, childhood traumas).
  12. Type of masturbation used. Was a "death grip," very fast movement, or prone position employed?
  13. Edging without ejaculation while rebooting. Really bad idea.

What about fantasizing about porn? A bad idea, as it strengthens sensitized addiction pathways. But fantasizing about the real deal may be OK, especially for guys with little sexual experience.

What about having sex while trying to reboot? Probably a good thing. If you fool around or have intercourse and purposely avoid orgasm, it may be fine, even beneficial. If it's too soon, orgasm with a partner can set you back, or throw you into a relapse (see below). Porn-induced ED is your brain saying it has had enough. If you have ED, attempting to force an erection with porn fantasy or other methods, seems to be counterproductive to your recovery.

On the other hand, if you're back in balance, but not experiencing a lot of spontaneous erections, sex with a partner will show you you are, in fact, back to normal. For example, here's what one guy said:

Spontaneous erections might be a sign, but I'm not sure if they are a real sign. You don't have to walk around with a boner in order to feel things will work out. Last week, for example, I hadn't seen my girlfriend for a couple of days. I had no spontaneous erections during that time. Given my old troubles, I even worried a bit... Was I losing it again? But when I saw her everything was just fine. Her touch and smell totally turned me on and the penis worked. So things will work out, when your brain is in balance, even if you don't have a constant boner (spontaneous erections).

Finally, there comes a time when young guys who trained their sexual responses to porn need to rewire to real partners. If not sexually, then socially. You need contact with others. You may need to fantasize or start self stimulation. See - Started on Internet porn and my reboot (ED) is taking too long. Unfortunately we cannot tell you at what point you need to integrate sexual stimuli.

From this thread - Just started today. How long on average does it take to return to full function?

As others have said, it's highly variable. I found the following things sped things up:

1. Removing any stimulating images, even normally fine things like Facebook and OkCupid. I'm fine with them now, but it helped starting out when my brain was sorting things out
2. Rewiring with a woman. Find someone you can cuddle with, as often as possible. This will speed you up enormously.
3. Going no orgasm. I made the most progress when I went 98 days without orgasm, while rewiring. I added orgasms once I had 100% erections
4. Change your attitude towards sex. You say "I can't please a woman as I am", but that's completely false. You can do a lot to please women with your mouth and hands, usually more than you can with a functioning penis.

A lot of guys on here post "tried sex, failed, waaaaa", which indicates a flawed mindset. You can have sex, and cuddle, etc. It's rewiring. If you do that for a while, your ED should disappear.

The hard cases on here typically aren't doing much rewiring.

Stick with it. It feels great to be able to have sex again, it's all worth it. It'll come back for you too :)

It's really important for young guys to rewire their sexual response to real persons, this succesful rebooter said Rewiring has sped up my reboot!

Hi everyone! So I'm at 100+ days no PMO and I've been spending some time with a great girl.

The almost all of this reboot I've been in a flatline - while my morning woods have slowly been getting harder and increasing in frequency, I've still had very little libido and zero spontaneous erections.

About 7 days ago I spent a comfortable, relaxed night with a girl that seemed to have reawakened something in! We kissed, cuddled and did some touching all with clothes on. It was an amazing feeling - I've been feeling an increase in libido and healthy sexual perspective on women since!

I'm definitely still not recovered - my erections aren't hard enough yet, and I'm pretty sure I couldn't have successful sex, but I just wanted to write because I really, really, really think that kissing, cuddling and being intimate without orgasming can accelerate your reboot by leagues

The "Chaser Effect"

When men first learn that their ED is caused by porn use, they tend to become quite enthusiastic about stopping all porn, masturbation, and orgasm. Some succeed, but most relapse a few times, or add in occasional masturbation or sex with a partner. The challenging thing about a relapse before you're rebooted is that it can kick in the "chaser effect" over the next couple of days. Knowing about this can save you a binge, when strong urges hit you out of "nowhere."

Whatever you do, realize that it was porn that caused your erectile problems. Staying away from porn is your top priority. So if you have an uncontrollable urge to masturbate to ejaculation, do so without porn. If you can't masturbate without porn, then it's not true sexual desire. Instead, your urge is "only" an addiction cue that has been triggered by a thought or a visual.

From all reports, the men who regain their erectile health the quickest completely abstain from masturbation and orgasm. The more often you masturbate, the longer it takes. That said, all your efforts are somewhat cumulative. Here's what one guy said:

I went 6 weeks and had slight relapses [viewing soft-core to test for erections - not recommended] once every 4 days or so. When I finally went back to celibacy, I didn't start from zero, I started from like week three. I know this because when I first started I could not get hard from just masturbation. But after a relapse I did not go back to that beginning state.

Back in the saddle

When you do have sex again, it may be a good idea to approach it with a new mindset—not focused on sexual performance. Apprehension due to past failures is common and it may take a few tries to overcome anxiety   Here's some advice from other men who had ED, rebooted, and then had sex.

  • In my 3 times of "connecting and bonding" with my wife since beginning my reboot, there were no expectations of intercourse. We started out just playfully fooling around, enjoying each other's bodies, caressing and kissing, and the next thing you ... WHAM!!! It was all very relaxed.
  • I knew I had a problem when I was in my late teens. I eventually had successful intercourse in my early 20's, but I didn't consider myself cured, so I had performance anxiety, and 9 times out of 10, couldn't perform. I guess my thinking now is that if 4 days of intercourse in a row don't convince me that my libido is ok, then what will?I might have expected too much in the past. I assumed that I should be up and ready to go at a seconds notice, no matter how stressed I was. I expected to get a boner every time I looked at a beautiful woman. Now my expectation is to eventually get erect if I'm relaxed in the presence of a woman I like (i.e. my wife). So it's a combination of reason and a slight change in expectations I guess. I will say that I would have never dreamed of giving up masturbation for 90 days if it wasn't for this site. Also this site convinced me that the connecting aspect is so important.
  • Performance anxiety is a really tough thing to beat. Anytime you are in bed with a woman and you start observing yourself, an erection probably won't happen. I know full well it's not fun to enter into sexual relations worrying about performance. The key is to enter into it not worrying one iota about erection. It's easier said than done, but that's the challenge that many men face. I faced it, and I'm surprised I got through it.

In other words, forget porn-style sex and just be playful. Relaxation actually promotes erections. In fact, oxytocin (the "cuddle hormone") is vital to erections, and you produce oxytocin when you engage in affectionate, generous touch. Go figure!

Also see recovery accounts here and here, and How do I know when I'm back to normal?

If I have ED, don't I need to "use it or lose it?"

Porn addiction can bring on erectile dysfunctionI'm rebooting, so I haven't watched porn or orgasmed in 43 days, however I've recently begun to masturbate again. I end up stopping short, but I really need to ease up. I think I'm feeling some anxiety due to the fact that I've been on a couple of dates and the chances of me having sex in the near future have increased. I guess I'm trying to make sure it works. I even took half a Cialis today..though I have no chance for sex this weekend as the girl I'm seeing is away on vacation.

There's a strong meme out there that says, "Use it or lose it," and when people have used porn heavily enough to squelch their erections, they fear to stop masturbating, thinking their lack of responsiveness will get worse. Or they think they need to "remind" their penises what to do by using porn to achieve erections.

"Use it or lose it" may be a factor when men don't have sex for ages, because intercourse (even without orgasm) is good for reproductive health. Erections pump blood through the genitals, preventing congestion (stagnant blood flow), etc.

However, "use it or lose it" isn't the problem for porn-related ED sufferers. Their problem is overuse, which has temporarily numbed their brains. Their genitals are perfectly healthy, as explained by Norman Doidge, MD.

Heavy porn users need to reboot to restore potency. In other words, ED from heavy porn use is an entirely different challenge, physiologically speaking, from the challenge faced by someone who has stopped all sexual activity for a long period of time.

Among visitors here with ED symptoms, a couple of months without "using it" increases potency. When the brain is back to normal, normal sexual responsiveness returns. Meanwhile, however, some experience even less sexual responsiveness. This is normal, and can last for weeks. Don't panic; just be patient.

It may be counter-intuitive, but you don't increase your potency by masturbating, with or without orgasm. Let your brain rest, and it will soon be ready for action. Remember, if you had broken your ankle, you would know to stop using it until it healed. You wouldn't keep "testing" it by walking on it, because that would only slow your recovery. Key points to remember:

  1. Erections are not off limits, and neither is sexual stimulation from a partner.
  2. Rebooting is temporary. We do not suggest long term abstinence.
  3. Chances are you will continue to have nocturnal erections.
  4. If your libido isn't returning try the suggestions found in this FAQ - Started on Internet porn and my reboot (Erectile Dysfunction) is taking too long

Incidentally, Cialis and Viagra work by temporarily altering your body's vascular response. They do not work directly to heal the plastic changes in your brain that have caused any impotence. Your brain needs time and an absence of stimulation. That's what will enable it to return to normal sensitivity and sexual responsiveness as quickly as possible. This happens automatically; you don't have to do anything to make it happen.

Comments from guys who rebooted:

  • I have now first-person experience with the 'use it or lose it' concern. As far as I can tell, there is nothing to be concerned about. I orgasmed on day 32 with a woman. It was a good experience, although too early in my rewiring. It set me back moodwise, and I experienced a mean-ass chaser effect. But I haven't discussed one of the positives - the quality of the ejaculation. Yes, in fact, I have NEVER felt my cum be so thick, abundant and warm (almost hot). There was a TON of it - I was soaked. Anyhow - 32 days of no O and, although I didn't have lab work done to test my sperm count, I can assure all of my fellow PMO recoverees that your prostate and testes are working just fine. The problem is truly in the brain and nowhere else. If anything, I feel like my junk needed a long-overdue rest after years and years of 2-4 orgasms per day. Oh the sperm I have squandered lol!
  • My penis still works down the road, too. I was worried about it at first. Especially during some of those reboot stages where it feels like you are like a sexual eunuch. It's normal to flatline at first, since you have been ramping yourself up with all the stimuli for so many years.

For more on understanding erectile health, see Gary's Erectile Dysfunction and Porn slide show

Also see: Ejaculation: How Often for Good Health?

And if you want to strengthen your erections and meet potential mates, try sexercise.

Internet Porn Addiction: Exposing Misconceptions, by Gabe Deem

How could I possibly have erectile dysfunction? I was only 23 and physically healthy. I went searching and found long threads of guys saying they thought porn had caused their ED. Unbelievable, but turns out it potentially had for me, too. It took me nine months to recover normal sexual function.

When people hear about porn addiction or porn causing problems, many are skeptical. However, the medical field is starting to recognize that this is actually happening, even though research has not yet caught up with reality. In fact, earlier this year the popular Dr. Oz show covered porn-induced ED. More recently, scientists at Cambridge University performed a study that found people addicted to porn show similar brain activity to alcoholics or drug addicts when exposed to cues.

After realizing Internet porn use may be linked to my ED, I did a lot of reading on the subject. I came across many people claiming things about porn addiction and related dysfunctions that simply did not match reality. Here are some of the common misconceptions.

Misconception #1 -- "The only guys who get addicted to porn or have porn-induced ED have underlying issues."

I was raised with a loving family and a great support system. Never had a traumatic experience, never was abused, no history of addiction in my family. When I was 8 years old I found a Playboy magazine. This might sound crazy, but as a young boy I liked looking at naked girls (gasp).

When I was 12 my family got high-speed Internet. Immediately I was watching hardcore porn. Kids at school would share the best sites and ways to hide it. It was a normal part of teen culture. For the first time in human history kids had unlimited access to hardcore porn. I did not have issues that caused me to seek porn -- I just had access. Now, of course, some people addicted to porn have an underlying issue. But not all.

Three of my good friends have also experienced porn-related sexual dysfunctions. All were normal dudes with normal lives. We thought it was awesome looking at naked girls having sex, and we were unaware that it might have a negative physiological impact.

It took me a year to figure out why I had ED. After all, I could get it up with porn, so clearly my penis wasn't broken. It wasn't performance anxiety, because I had already had a lot of sexual experience and was not nervous. Didn't drink anything, so couldn't blame alcohol. Even got my hormones checked and the results came back fine.

In fact, I didn't believe porn could possible be linked to my ED until I did the porn-induced ED test -- where you try to get an erection without porn or any fantasy, just to your hand's touch alone. To my surprise, I could not. I was a normal, healthy, sexually-experienced and confident guy who could only get an erection to porn.

Misconception #2 -- "Guys who claim they have porn-induced ED are just not attracted to their partner."

Many guys on porn recovery forums say they are extremely attracted to their partners and find it very confusing that they cannot get aroused. I was one of those guys. I had a beautiful girl who I found very attractive, yet I could not physically feel any arousal when going for sex. Why is this important?

The partner may feel she is not attractive enough or "can't compare to the porn stars." It is very important to let these heartbroken girls know that it is not always an attraction thing, but rather a brain-wiring thing. If a guy has wired his sexual arousal to a screen and porn, it does not matter how sexy or attractive he finds his partner... he may not be able to get it up. Once I made it clear to my girlfriend that she was very attractive but my brain had just been numbed, and wired for porn, it helped her feel a lot better about waiting and less devastated when Mr. Happy looked sad.

Misconception #3 -- "People giving up porn must have a moral issue with it."

Many of the guys giving up porn have no moral objections to it and used to love everything about it, until they developed erectile dysfunction, or delayed ejaculation. When I realized I could only get a boner to a screen and not the real thing, I decided to stop watching it. The fact is that many guys have now realized that simply giving up porn has fixed their ED. For them, it is a "neural issue" and not a "moral issue."

Some popular forums for quitting porn are run by non-religious people -- including Reddit's NoFap and PornFree groups and, which together have over 100,000 members as of now. The members, mostly under 30, are different in every way imaginable, including morals. Those with ED may eliminate the single variable of porn use and can usually recover after several months.

Now that we know why people are giving up porn, what do we do next? One thing is for sure: We need more research. But until that day gets here, my hope is that sharing my story will lead to more logical conversations and insightful dialogue about pornography and how it can affect us.

LINK - Internet Porn Addiction: Exposing Misconceptions

My recovery from porn-induced erectile dysfunction is taking way too long.

"Why haven't I healed yet from porn-induced ED?" is the hardest question we attempt to answer. That's why this FAQ is so damn long - we packed it with as many suggestions as guys say worked for them, and as much info as possible.

Porn-induced sexual dysfunction rates in young men are soaring. Men under 40 virtually never needed sexual enhancement drugs until streaming porn arrived. See Research confirms sharp rise in youthful sexual dysfunctions.

If you are under 30 and started early on Internet porn, I strongly suggest you educate yourself on the differences between an adolescent brain and an adult brain. The difference is not simply quantity of experience, and learning the differences will help you understand why you (and those in your generation) were more vulnerable to developing porn-induced sexual dysfunctions than some older guys, who "set' their sexuality before they found streaming porn. The following resources will help:

Rebooting accounts of a few "long rebooters":

The Problem:

We hear this story far too often:

I'm in my mid twenties and a sufferer of this apparent new-fangled 21st Century broadband driven ED disorder. I've had three chances to lose my virginity with real flesh and blood women and I've failed every time (as in, these women were in my bed and ready to go, clothes off, but I couldn't do it. I've had other chances, and even other girls sleeping in my bed, but I didn't make the move because I knew I wouldn't be able to do it... even between the ages of 18 to 22). I won't go into the details but each time felt incredibly embarrassing, depressing and emasculating. I'm not gay in the slightest (I am in fact a raging heterosexual) but I simply could not have sex with these women.

If I could choose one word to describe what it felt like when I tried to have sex with them, I'd use the word 'alien.' It felt artificial and foreign to me. It's like I've gotten so conditioned to sitting in front of a screen and jerking it with the death-grip all these years that my mind considers that to be normal sex instead of real actual sex. I can get hard for porn, no problem, but not for the life of me can I get hard for a real woman.

Some brains just need a long time to re-train:

First guy: Age 27 - Severe ED cured after 2-year flatline

Second guy: Age 26 - Reboot took 3 years: No more ED, anxiety, sweating or panicking

Third guy: Honestly, I think more and more 2, 3 and 4 year recovery stories will start cropping up as the committed young rebooters start writing success stories. I know it's hard for some people to believe and accept, but reboots are becoming longer and longer now days. It doesn't necessarily mean everyone is going to take 2 years to recover...but if you are a guy in your 20s who started very young in life on high speed porn, there's a good bet that you are looking at 1+ years. So many people (including myself) have been on the forums for 1+ year now and are still in the process of recovering - and it's nothing to get discouraged from! Even though my ED isn't fully healed yet, I have grown as a man and I have a much more fulfilling life than I did two years ago. Seriously, I could not get it up for sex or porn at anytime no matter what a few years ago...and now I'm capable of having sex weekly. There's more work to be done, but the point is I'm recovering and growing and living a better life....and a reboot (no matter how long) is worth every ounce of commitment.

Fourth guy:  While I've had a few relapses (although no binges) my reboot has taken an entire year. It is only recently that I can say that I am seeing real progress with ED, and have a desire for real women as opposed to porn. I started the reboot only when I realized that porn was an addiction. I realized "Man, PMO is the reason I get out of bed every morning". Giving up something like that is not one bit easy. Its almost comical, but you have to re-learn how to interact with people. I felt like I wasn't human when I was learning this because interaction is human 101. Little kids even know how to do it. I felt like a robot with artificial intelligence.

Another guy:

I almost wanted to give up hope. Thought I was incurable. Thought a lot of people like me were, those started at age 11 and didn't even have a first kiss till 18, and with no responses whatsoever down there with about 15 different girls when my times finally came....  It took me over a year of the worst ED you can imagine, until I finally found out: I was wrong. It took:

  • 9.5 months absolutely no Porn
  • the last 5.5 months were no Masturbation or Orgasm
  • these last 4 weeks having sex again (low quality at first) to rewire

It got better and better each day of rewiring, and then today: I had the most amazing sex of my life. Just thinking about the feeling turns me on now. Don't give up hope. It takes time, even up to a year, but if you give up porn and even M for awhile and then rewire: YOU. WILL. HEAL. And it will be more worth it then you know... Good luck out there :)

Another guy

I agree with "internal_idiot". You need much more time. You have to be patient and take this brain damage of yours very seriously. Gary Wilson has warned us about this. He said that some of the youngest guys need up to 9 months to recover. I myself have done 7 months now, and think that the "rebooting" takes a lot of time. But now I am sometimes able to have sex. 207 days ago I had completely ED just like you describe. I could use 3 hours every day to seek for the best bootys on the net.

The changes started after day 180. The difference in my life is like this:

Now I am able to focus on my work. Now I don't stop working every hour to look for porn. I can go through the hole day without thinking about sex. But when I suddenly see a nice ass, then I immediately almost go crazy about it. Then I find my self - opening my mouth and eyes wide up and stare like mad at her. As you see - I think much less about sex, but when I suddenly do, then it's because I see a real woman and then the feelings are suddenly intense. I like this new life much better.

When guys first showed up with porn-related sexual performance problems, they generally recovered in about two months of no porn, masturbation, porn fantasy, and a minimum of orgasm (See: How long will it take to recover from Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunction? ). Most were computer wizards who had started using highspeed Internet ahead of the curve, and arrived when they noticed that they were having uncharacteristic performance problems.

When they started masturbating at puberty, most weren't using the Internet at all. Depending upon their ages and circumstances, they started masturbation with a catalog, a magazine, a video, a grainy TV porn channel, or amazingly (to today's young guys), their imagination. Most had some sex with a real partner before they were able to access highspeed Internet porn. (See this 25-year old's account. He had more real sex early on, and didn't develop ED until he started using porn heavily.)

Their history is important, because they were training their brains differently from today's young guys who masturbate to highspeed Internet porn from puberty onward (or, in some cases, from before puberty). The latecomers-to-highspeed, who are usually older:

  1. on average, didn't start masturbating to porn as young because extreme stimulation wasn't as easy to access,
  2. typically focused on the sensations of masturbation a bit more, because visual stimulation wasn't always accessible,
  3. used their imaginations much of the time, often fantasizing about realistic encounters, instead of being force-fed extreme visual stimulation, where the only role they had was "voyeur,"
  4. didn't masturbate as often, because without constant novelty, it often takes a lot of work to climax if one tries to do it too frequently,
  5. couldn't overstimulate their brains to the extent one can with today's constant, ever-novel Internet porn, and
  6. didn't need to masturbate with a death-grip, because they weren't desensitizing their brains to the same extent. This also meant that normal sex wasn't so far removed from their masturbation experience.

All this has changed. Said a woman under a reply to one of our posts:

I have a limited sample (N=2), but I can tell you that I have seen first-hand the effects of overuse of porn. My ex-boyfriend was a habitual porn user. He had erectile dysfunction and started using Viagra at the age of 28. (However,  his erectile dysfunction was limited to live partners, as he was able to attain and maintain an erection while watching porn.) He had delayed ejaculation and often could not ejaculate during intercourse, and instead had to pull out and self-stimulate. Contrast that with my current boyfriend. In his mid-40s, he has no problems with the quality of his erections and easily ejaculates during intercourse. He specifically does not watch porn as he is concerned about its effect on his performance. The difference is VERY noticeable. And appreciated.

Young guys who, from puberty, masturbate to Internet porn can easily overstimulate their brains, which, in turn, dampens their sexual responsiveness. They need a tighter and tighter grip, and increasing novelty to climax. This sexual experience bears little relationship to actual intercourse or oral sex with a real partner.

Given that pubescent/adolescent brains evolved to wire up sexual cues into strong brain pathways, today's guys are unwittingly forcing their sexuality into a fairly narrow groove, which is difficult to break out of. One reason is that, as they reach adulthood, their brains prune back unused circuitry. So brain circuits for courting and mating, that is, the circuits for the skills adolescents once typically strengthened via socialization and tamer masturbation habits, are weak, or perhaps gone.

Worse yet, these guys never suspect that they are developing sexual performance problems. Why?

  1. They don't know what normal male sexual responsiveness looks like, because they've been locked into the porn spiral for years, as have all their friends.
  2. The deterioration in erection strength is gradual.
  3. They often use Internet porn for many years before trying to have sex with a partner. And they never think to try masturbating without porn, which would show them the desensitization.
  4. Porn's constant novelty is a powerful, but unnatural, aphrodisiac, so they can always get off to porn if they watch enough, or more extreme material. Some unwittingly also undergo addiction-related changes that render Internet porn uniquely capable of stimulating the reward center of their brains, even though their brains are, over all, less responsive to normal stimuli, such as real sex.
  5. When they can't perform during real sex, they can always blame it on something else: alcohol, weed, the wrong hair or skin color of their partner, the absence of anal sex, whatever.

So what to do?

Chances are, if you're one of these young guys who grew up on internet porn and you want to experience normal sex, you need to get a fresh start.  Your recovery is likely to take longer and be more gradual. Here's a rebooting account that should give you a good idea of what to expect: Age 18 - No sensation during intercourse. (More sample rebooting accounts here, here and here.) Even after you are recovered enough to have normal sex, you are likely to see continued improvements for months.

Recovery from porn-induced ED usually involves not doing and doing:

  1. No porn or porn substitutes.
  • This restores the brain's sensitivity so you can respond to normal pleasure (rather than only to the extreme stimulation of constant novelty and a death-grip). Most guys report positive changes in mood, concentration, confidence, attraction to real potential mates and magnetism, and so forth within a couple of months.
  • Time allows the sensitized porn pathways to weaken.
  1. Rewire your sexual arousal to real partners: Dating snuggling, touching, kissing, thinking about, having sex. If your erections remain sluggish or extreme undependable, your brain has probably not yet wired to normal sexual touch and real potential partners in the way that your ancestors' brains would have (in the absence of Internet porn).

Suggestion #1 - Wire Your Sexual Arousal to Real Partners:

Tip: Contact with potential mates is very beneficial at any point during rebooting or rewiring, as long as you do not push yourself to perform sexually before your body is ready. Dancing, kissing, fooling around, exchanging massage, and so forth, are all helpful in rewiring your brain to real partners. Cuddle buddies are excellent. Also keep in mind that research shows that oxytocin (which is released during affectionate touch and close, trusted companionship) is vital for erections. If casual hook-ups aren't working, try a relationship. See Guys: Where Do You Fall on the Monogamy Spectrum? for a better understanding of why your brain may be seeking more connection (than a typical hook up) when it comes to real partners.

Advice from a guy who coaches others for relationships and sex:

It's a really bad idea to put yourself into a "must perform" situation when you first try having intercourse again. Give your partner this: Boyfriend Quitting Porn? 5 Tips

You have to take a long term view of this. And do things that will get you there in steps rather than just go for do-or-die situations, or just say "screw it" and give up altogether. You may have to find yourself a woman who is patient and willing to just cuddle for a bit. They are out there.

Rewiring has sped up my reboot!

Hi everyone! So I'm at 100+ days no PMO and I've been spending some time with a great girl.

The almost all of this reboot I've been in a flatline - while my morning woods have slowly been getting harder and increasing in frequency, I've still had very little libido and zero spontaneous erections.

About 7 days ago I spent a comfortable, relaxed night with a girl that seemed to have reawakened something in! We kissed, cuddled and did some touching all with clothes on. It was an amazing feeling - I've been feeling an increase in libido and healthy sexual perspective on women since!

I'm definitely still not recovered - my erections aren't hard enough yet, and I'm pretty sure I couldn't have successful sex, but I just wanted to write because I really, really, really think that kissing, cuddling and being intimate without orgasming can accelerate your reboot by leagues.

Age 20 - Erectile dysfunction: You need to think and concentrate on sex with the body in front of you!

One night saved my life. I was with a girl kissing in my friend’s room at a party and we ended up both naked and guess what... I had a ROCK hard boner. she didn't want to have sex so i took a bj BUT I realized what the problem was and how I was able to have sex if i wanted it. You NEED to think and concentrate on sex with the body in front of you! This might sound obvious but to a kid whose been watching porn his whole life and never had to concentrate during masturbation this was news to me.

I always thought when you're with a girl you should be thinking about nothing because naturally you should want to have sex with her right? Not for me. All these failed attempts nothing was going on in my head and I mean nothing. How are you supposed to get stimulated if you’re thinking about nothing? Think about the girl in front of you and sex! No one seems to be making this point but it fixed me up as soon as I thought about it.

My advice: Find a girl and rewire, even if you're ashamed of ED

Over and over, I see posts from guys who've been rebooting for a long, long time, and they haven't been with a girl during that time. A common sentiment is that they're not ready for sex, and they don't feel comfortable being with a girl until they are. This betrays a misunderstanding of what sex is. It's so much more than penis in vagina. You can please a woman with kisses, cuddles, fingers, tongue, hands, words and noises.I believe rewiring is essential to a reboot. I've been trying for a year, and never made so much progress as during my current streak, when I've been with three girls. They've all been super supportive. I've told them about PIED. They didn't care. They liked sleeping with me regardless. With the final two, I was eventually able to have sex without orgasm. And last week, I orgasmed with the girl I'm seeing at the moment.   And I feel great. Have the hardest morning wood of my reboot, and my libido is strong. Assuming this holds up, I credit it to the weeks of rewiring I did prior to orgasming. It is never too soon to start going on dates and talking to women. Especially for those of you who are virgins. Having a girl won't magically make your PMO addiction go away, but it does make things easier.    Getting a girl is something you'll want to do eventually. And guess what? You'll probably suck at this, at first. Then you'll get better, and you'll wonder why you ever thought it was hard. But start now, so you can go through the 1-3 months of learning it will take to get decent at this. Then by the time you're ready, you'll be able to get women.  I was a virgin until 22, and had PIED. Didn't really have much luck with women until a few months ago. I'm age 27 now. And then, simply by trying, I went from being "bad with women" to doing pretty well and being able to attract women I liked and who are beautiful. You can do it too.  If you're totally new at this, I recommend reading a few seduction materials. Just remember, you only have to take the parts you like. So if you're not interested in dating multiple women, then ignore the advice that deals with that. Pay attention to the grooming advice instead, or self-confidence, or style. I've found Mark Manson (his book models) and Nick Notas to have good advice that's devoid of the creepier side of the seduction community.   

Don't orgasm with a girl until you're ready. I got to the point where it felt like I was blocking myself by avoiding orgasm. But sleeping with women for a couple months beforehand helped get my body to that point where I was ready.

Start now.

Long rebooters who haven't rewired need to-you're more recovered than you think

Find a partner. You may be more ready than you think. As a rebooter since [7 months ago] whose had successful sex at least 10 times since then, I say this because despite these successful attempts I still:
-Barely ever get morning wood
-Barely ever get spontaneous erections
-Find it difficult to self-stimulate and maintain an erection on my own

If I never tried rewiring with an actual girl I'd almost certainly be feeling pretty hopeless with all these symptoms still present, but they were all present (and still are) while I was rewiring and while I was sexually active.

Unless I'm talking to a girl, or drunk (or both), I find I really don't have much of a libido during the day. Can't say whether that's "normal" or not, but all I have to compare it to is a libido shaped by 15 year long habitual porn use. At the least it makes it easy to avoid PMO. I will say that the times of being so horny to the point of not being able to concentrate unless I masturbated certainly aren't missed, and I certainly don't believe that that was a sign of a healthy sex drive. A lot of PIED sufferers seem to worry about their sex drive too much, and ironically enough seem to set a standard of a "normal" libido by how their sex drive felt during their years of excessive porn use. Which to me doesn't make a whole lot of sense and is ultimately self-defeating. I truly believe that if you just stop worrying so much and stay away from PMO the body will take care of itself. This is coming from a guy with YEARS of chronic ED and libido issues. I've experienced a truly dead libido for extended periods of time, it's a scary thing and I sympathize with anyone who has to go through that, but I have a feeling a lot of the guys here are going through something much less dire and just need to open up to girls more.

Another guy: Age 28 - increased sexual sensitivity, more confidence, I feel my feelings (Note how opening up and relaxing with girlfriend triggered erections.)

Being around potential partners really helps - comments from successful rebooters:

  • I don't think I ever had an erection without porn or heavy making out until I met my girlfriend. Just standing behind her while whispering things into each other's ears made me spring, without any heavy stimulation. A feeling I truly treasure.;
  • I noticed that my mood completely shifted as soon as I started talking to this girl I know from university. It's like talking to her just stomped on my depression, filled me with confidence and reminded me of the importance of this reboot. I noticed that I smile unintentionally much much more when talking to girls. And like I mentioned before, it's really fun :D
  • I think if you are single, you simply must figure out a way to get a cuddle buddy. It's a weird concept in our world, but really what's weird is living by yourself without regular skin to skin contact with others. You are missing a lot of nourishment that humans need, and if you have that, you are very likely to escape your addiction much more easily.
  • Find someone you can cuddle with non-sexually. That is the key to success with this. Without that it is really tough. With a platonic girlfriend who lets you cuddle, you have a great chance of success and won't be frustrated. Weirdly it seems not to be frustrating although you would think it would be -- to cuddle with a girl and not have sex with her. But actually it is very satisfying.
  • I have been perhaps one of the longest cases on this site which was troubling for me as I recovered, and hopefully can serve as some inspiration for those frustrated with lack of results. First off: getting a consistent partner was what did it for me. Before that frustration was all I saw. Starting at month 7 after reboot I had someone to flirt with, sleep with, cuddle with, and kiss gently before moving to sex. This slowly got me going again. At first I could only get hard for short periods of a time and had to "rush" for penetration, but after each time my erections got stronger. Also high levels of PE have subsided as time has worn on--practice makes perfect. I now get hard just by gently kissing my lover and have zero issues with erection quality. I have zero desire to masturbate and am sure libido will continue to improve, as well as my orgasms which were nothing of note at at start (but have slowly gotten better). I had sex three times in one night with zero difficulty so I cannot believe how far I have come since embarking on this journey. Get a real partner, take the time to get to connect with someone (not just sexually), and it is an experience too powerful to describe. With everything taking so long for me, I can only imagine the changes a year from now. 9 months later and I am a changed man. I certainly felt obliged to share this final update for all those struggling out there and hope no one ever has to go through what I did. Full rebooting account

Wiring to normal fantasy:

[This guy had cuddle buddies throughout his reboot. After 3 months of no fantasizing...] 

I started fantasizing again. Not about porn, but real girls, sex and the scenarios I'd like to have with them. It slowly awakened my penis after three months. It helped getting my sex drive back, together with real intimacy with real girls. And especially dirty talk and texting with them. Humans fantasize, it's normal. Porn is not normal.

Of course, it's possible he was just rebooted at three months.

Suggestion #2: Wiring to Normal Touch:

Tip: There's no point in attempting to wire to normal sexual touch until your reward circuitry is capable of responding to normal stimuli. You might want to wait until your reboot has been underway for a couple of months. Premature action is discouraging. You won't be able to feel subtle sensations yet, so you will be tempted to overstimulate yourself, edge...and perhaps relapse. Here's a a program by a porn addiction therapist: Learning the art of ‘mindful’ masturbation (UK Therapist Paula Hall)

This guy (26) began the rewiring process at around four months (but two months is probably fine, too):

I've been doing this reboot for more than 4 months without porn and masturbation. Finally, I can confirm that my erection is fully recovered. I have had morning wood almost every morning this week, some lasted for 10-15 min, but some even for an hour. I am just so happy and proud of myself now.

Here are the details. Like some other guys in this forum, I used to worry a lot about why it was taking so long for a complete recovery, even though I still believed that it would happen someday. During this period, I tried to test myself several times with no success. I watched videos on YouTube that had a little bit of sexual imagery, and masturbated without ejaculating. However, eventually I stopped testing myself and tried to think positive.

When I reached 4 months recently, I decided to do something different. Almost every time I take a shower, I give my penis a light massage. I massage my testicles and then do some light and slow strokes. I don't try to force an erection. After about 1 week of doing this, I feel like my boy is responding better and better to my massage and strokes. Finally I get hard-rock morning wood. This is just my experience, but I am not sure it will work for everyone.

I think the best time to use this experiment would be probably 4 months and up. It depends on each person's history. I had masturbated since I was 10, so for me to get the results,I needed longer than a person who just started masturbating 2, or 3 years earlier, I guess. I just stimulate myself about 50, 60% and stop. I never go all the way and ejaculate. I also think that one of the most important key here is we should never ejaculate during the reboot period. The reason is this is the time for your body and your lil boy to rejuvenate itself, so it needs a lot of nutrition and energy in order to do that. And we also should not test ourselves in the early stage. It would be very dangerous because our mind isn't stable yet. It's still in the borderline.

This is not an exercise in trying to produce an erection! This is an exercise in wiring your brain to sensual touch, with no performance pressure whatsoever. Do not use fantasy. Do not "test" your erection strength. Just focus on the physical feelings of sensual touch. If you do become erect, stay well back from The Edge of orgasm.

Keep the session to a minute (unless you start to overheat), but repeat it daily. Really give your body gentle, nurturing attention during the session.

I can attest that a little stimulation helps reawaken your libido. But at the same time, reawakening it has the high possibility of resulting in a binge relapse if you're not careful. In terms of when to initiate the reawakening process, prove to yourself you're able to handle the rebooting process by going at least 2 months without any PMO (porn, masturbation, orgasm). A real indicator that your tastes have shifted to normal is when you spontaneously begin thinking about real 3-D women in your everyday life, as opposed to the 2D counterparts from your porn memories. Let me say it again: You have to walk before you learn to run. A person struggling with PMO has got to do a successful reboot, and then progress to a little reawakening stimulation.

Another man described his massage practice with his partner:

Allow her to offer you a genital/penis massage at least 3 or 4 times a week during the next two weeks. Doing it every day is okay too, but you really should willingly do something non-sexual for her in exchange. It should be something of her choice that would please her.

A genital massage session should last at least 20 minutes but not more than 45 minutes. The point of this is to help acclimate you toward receiving direct genital touching without getting “heated up” or aroused or to the point that you want to encourage the urge to ejaculate. Permit the woman to keep her clothes on. Lie on your back, open your legs and relax. Have her apply some almond oil to her hand and let her gently and very, very slowly massage your scrotum, testicles, penis and perineum. Breathe slowly and deeply while she softly and tenderly pulls the skin of the scrotum and pubic hair. These light touches require that you remain still. Have her push slightly (with short fingernails if possible) into your groin at different places around your penis to release built up tension. Don’t encourage her to stroke the penis! She can do gentle, light squeezing and releasing along the shaft and head.

Due to the fact that the male genitals have experienced a constant build-up of tension through orgasm and ejaculation, this type of gentle massage from a female greatly relieves soreness and pain in that area. It is very soothing and relaxing.

If you are prone to getting heated up easily, then have a bowl of ice and a cold damp wash cloth next to the bed. As soon as you feel that familiar horny, full feeling, which means the semen is beginning to load in your prostate, have her stop the massage and place the cold rag on your testicles and the sensation will eventually subside. Then your partner can go back to the massage.

Remember, if abstaining from masturbating is causing you to get “blue balls,” apply the cold compress for a few minutes whenever the pain arises. It took only about a week for me to overcome the soreness when I finally quit masturbating. After that, my body adjusted and all the symptoms of “blue balls” went away once and for all.

Another guy:

After the reboot I truly believe that resensitization is a must Taking a few min every day to literally focus on nothing but the feeling on light and non goal oriented self touch is critical to the last leg of recovery. For a while there I was going nowhere, and I was one of those people who was past the 150 day mark. I felt like absolute hell because I thought i was doing everything right. Rebuilding those connections is important. Stay away from porn and focus on the sensation of it all.

Also, I did MO a handful of times in this  time period. It is not the end of the world. How could it possibly undo everything? It slows you down, sure, but not much.  just stay away from P and you'll get closer every day. If you have a lady friend I encourage you to ask them to "taunt" you  for a while. Have them slowly massage you in the below the belt area and just absorb everything in. Feel as much as you can. I promise this is the last leg of the recovery that so many are missing. Just ignoring your junk is not way to take care of it.

Another guy:

I have found performing the genital massages (testicles only,