This is a clear case of how enduring temporary pain leads to rich rewards.
Insomnia, headaches, a couple periods of flatlining, maddening temptation and the feeling of uncertainty when facing the problems of your life without a fap security blanket. I experienced all of these things in these 90 days. Why would anyone want to go through it?!
Well, this is a clear case of how enduring temporary pain leads to rich rewards. I'm only 90 days into this, but I can't believe how much I've learned about myself. I can't believe how many plans I've made and new projects I've started to address the areas of my life that I want to better. I can't believe at the sustained motivation I have for sticking to these projects, when before I would lose energy and revert to my lowered expectations. I can't believe how my priorities have changed and the time wasting activities I used to enjoy seem unfullfilling and pointless.
90 days is a good start, but the good fight continues. My next goal is 120. I can't wait to see what the next 30 days brings. Thank you guys on this forum for sharing. I am always learning.
LINK - 90 days!
I wish I had kept some notes about how I was feeling on each day. I know the physical stuff like insomnia and headaches were the worst in the first couple of weeks. There was also a letdown from not being able to enjoy the masturbation thing. Somebody described this letdown as being a mourning process, when you know that the relationship you used to have is gone. At this point, I've made peace with not having that relationship to masturbation. I still have to be very vigilant about giving in to temptation. I am becoming more aware of my triggers, which are the standard ones-- time alone, emotional lows, emotional highs, and seeing stimulating images (damn NFL cheerleaders!). So, even now it's still hard to stay strong.
80 DAY POST - 80 day report card
Before I jot down my thoughts, I want to thank you guys for the honest, useful and inspiring posts I read on this forum. I am constantly discovering new ideas and tips to keep my journey towards self-improvement humming along. Also, I'm amazed by the quality of the writing. I won't try to compete; I'll just try to get my points across as best I can.
My report card will come in the form of questions I'm asking myself and what my answers are today...
Is my reboot from porn/fapping addiction as clean and strict as it can be? I give myself a B. My nofap streak is alive and well, but I have had some weak moments looking at sexy (non-nude) video clips on youtube recently. It only happened a couple of times, but I notice some of my confidence going down the next day and I sensed some shame. I'm eliminating these weak moments. Avoiding the let down of having lower confidence is my motivation for staying strong.
Do I objectify women still or put the attractive ones on a pedestal? I'll give myself a C. I noticed the other day when I was at a coffee shop, I couldn't act as naturally as I wanted to when I interacted with the hot looking counter chick and I felt like I might be coming off creepy. My goal is to feel at ease and worthy of her company, not attached to any outcome like wanting her to like me, and just appreciate women for who they are, whether they look attractive or not. I have a serious girlfriend already, so I'm not looking, but I'm a guy and I can't help but notice. This is going to be a tough goal to reach. I'm also trying to avoid fantasizing/lusting about any other woman besides my girlfriend.
Am I making progress on my self-improvement projects? Letter grade A-. In this area I'm shining. My exercise program is going great. I'm cleaning up my diet. I'm working on my career goals. I'm looking for ways to strengthen my relationship with the girlfriend. My motivation has never been higher.
Am I working to reduce social anxiety? B+. Recently, I started reading a book on NeuroLinguistic programming recommended on this forum. The swish pattern for replacing negative images with positive ones is proving to be very valuable. I've been using this a lot in my daily interactions and I'm seeing some nice changes. I am planning on doing a lot of reading to get good at overcoming my subconscious habits that defeat me in this area.
Is my confidence soaring and do I have an attitude that says I don't fucking care what you think? C+. I am getting better, but I can go so much higher. I still think about what others think of me and let this affect my decision making. I still walk around with feelings of self-doubt, even when I'm doing things I'm pretty good at. One thing that is changing, though, is my belief that I can achieve this. I know it's possible now, which is huge!
Continued success to all of you!
INITIAL POST - day 40 has been a battle (first post)
I'm new on here. I've been reading a ton on yourbrainonporn and such. I'm on day 40 of no PMO. My goal is a complete reboot of my reward circuitry, which I expect to be 90 days minimum.
Fapping became a crutch for me that wrecked my ability to be social and made even working with other people very stressful due to my inability to feel comfortable around others. In particular, I lost the ability to look people in the eye and be confident in myself. Overall, people can tell I'm a good person, but I made people feel a bit uncomfortable and it was really getting me down. So, I'm making a stand and taking back my life. I'm so grateful that I understand the source of my issues. I had gone to see a therapist a couple years back and thought I was just hardwired to be anti-social. The therapist did not give me any insights and eventually I quit going. I know so many people are into porn and seem to lead normal lives that I just never related my issues to it. Now I know that porn has been messing my brain up. I stumbled onto the videos of yourbrainonporn and the light went off.
So the hard part is executing on my reboot plan. I've been doing quite well on my plan. I survived a stretch of insomnia, some headaches, low libido currently, and being irritable. I've been noticing many positive changes. My voice is much louder and clearer. This is quite remarkable to me. My ability to stand face to face with people and look them in the eye is becoming easier and easier. In general, my fear of social encounters is going down. I still think about avoiding situations, but slowly but surely, I feel way more capable of interacting with others.
Today, day 40 I had a lot of time to myself. I found myself browsing TV for movies with hot chicks. Then I started a google search for girls with nice abs. That's when I finally decided I needed to get out of the house. I went to play some pool at a local bar in their saturday tournament. I will survive today and keep on going with my nofap lifestlyle. I know the rewards in the future will make the sacrifices seem trivial.
good luck to all you guys.