Completely changed my attitude about girls, less need to fap

Printer-friendly version

flirtingTwo days ago I managed to hit the milestone of 3 months free from pornography. It has been an incredibly challenging experience, but I have no regrets what-so-ever.

Before I get into the specifics, I sort of figured I'd give you an idea about myself; I'm not a poster on Reddit, but I have used a lot of threads on here for guidance through my journey. The main reason I'm posting here is because the best way to learn is to help out others.

So, I started using pornography for sexual stimulation around the age of thirteen or fourteen; like a lot of people.

Before I started PornFree, I would fap around two or three times a day. I wouldn't say that I had a masturbation addiction, the main reason I would do so was because I was on my computer playing video-games, getting pretty bored, and I knew that I had all of the videos I could ever need a few clicks away.

I discovered the NoFap community around a year ago, and I'm not entirely sure how, but it resided in my mind for several months before giving it a go. The longest I lasted was four days, until I gave up and went back to PMO until September this year.

On September 16th, I stumbled across a YouTube video that was suggested to me, I believe it was called "Porn on the Brain". Watching this video suddenly made me think about what I was doing, so I decided to research further.

I decided to restart NoFap immediately, whilst watching documentaries about the reality of pornography and the damaging effects of it on not only your mind, but to the way you treat women, the unrealistic ideas of sex that you obtain from viewing it, and most of all; sexual objectification.

After watching these documentaries for about a week, I began to realise that pornography was nothing but a filthy industry designed to make money from exploiting girls, and enslaving guys into an addictive cycle of PMO. On the eighth day, I idiotically MO'ed, but no porn was involved, so I figured that I've gone 8 days without porn, I might as well carry on.

Despite the benefits that NoFap gave me, I figured that the main problem I needed to cut was pornography, simply due to how disgusting it is in reality. It was not easy at all during the first two to three weeks, I was constantly tempted in to viewing porn, but the one thing that kept me going was my streak.

I'm not going to say that I'm a saint, because I'm not. I did fap multiple times the first few weeks to images of pretty girls that I know in real life, which seemed pretty weird to me after I thought about it for a little bit. I figured what's the point in MO'ing to a picture if all I'm doing is fantasizing; it's not the fantasizing itself that was the problem, but simply the fact that it had been such a short time since I last viewed porn that all I was thinking about was pornographic-like sex with these girls that I knew.

I decided that I wasn't going to reset, because I wanted to cut out pornography, not looking at nice pictures of girls that I found attractive and actually had a chance with, but at the same time I said to myself that looking at these images isn't doing me any justice, so that's it. I'm done.

Ever since that day which was roughly two months ago, I have been MO'ing, but no visual stimuli has been included in the process.

Although a lot of people like to deny the benefits from abstaining from porn use, I have seen significant progressive steps that I'd like to share with you.

Less MO:

The first, and most massive thing that I've noticed through my time doing PornFree, is that I'm simply not fapping as much. As I've said previously, I used to PMO around two or three times a day, but now it has staggeringly dropped to around two or three times a week. I figured this is mainly due to the fact that I would usually watch porn whilst bored at home, but if you cut out the porn there is no real desire to fap.

Crazy Dreams:

Where can I honestly begin with this..

Before I started PornFree, I'd have the most bleak and bland dreams ever. I'd experience dreams, but they would be nowhere near as exciting and vivid as they are now. As I am in the process of learning to effectively Lucid Dream, having wild and adventurous dreams are great for me, as I'm able to truly pick out so much information and jot it in my notebook, or think about what those dreams represented while meditating.

However, there is a down-side to this, or an up-side if you consider it that way. I personally think that it's more negative than positive but it's down to the person at hand; vivid sexual dreams.

My first crazy sexual dream was around three weeks in to PornFree, I'm not sure why I had it, but it seemed so realistic that it was almost indistinguishable to real life. It didn't end up with a wet dream, but it was still a crazily bizarre experience that I hadn't had on that level for several years.

More time on my hands:

This is a pretty obvious bonus of PornFree, but it's true. Since i've cut out the porn, I've had so much more time spare in the day to do whatever the hell I want. Because of this I've taken up walking, and I tend to go out more with friends. A lot of people doing this challenge recommend going to the gym, however I thought that walking around mountains and things of that sort would be a lot more exciting and engaging, which is why I chose it.

PornFree led on to several other lifestyle changes:

Because I was reading up a lot about abstaining from pornography and masturbation, I came across masses of information regarding topics like Tantra, and life energy, which then led on to me reading about spirituality and philosophical thinking.

It might seem ridiculous, but the amount of crazy videos YouTube suggests is amazing, you start on NoFap, and next thing you know you're on a video about Buddha.

More focus:

This sort of ties in with having more time on my hands. Nowadays with less no porn induced fapping, and increased time to spare, I actually get on with work that I have to do, or go out when I have to go out rather than delaying things, and putting it all off to another day. I guess I sort of followed the motto: Just Do It.

My view of women:

I have left probably the most significant point until last.

Since I have been watching dozens of documentaries about the dark side of the porn industry, sexual objectification, and the way women are portrayed in the media, it has led on to me completely changing my attitude about girls.

Firstly, with all the overly-sexualised girls out of my head, I'm finally seeing clearly for the first time. I've started to find girls attractive that I'd usually never even think about getting with because of the way the act, and their personalities, regardless of their looks.

When talking about this to a friend a few weeks ago, he asked me what I meant by this, so I replied something along the lines of this;

If there were two girls standing next to each other, who would be considered by many as a ten and a seven, if the ten was frowning, and the seven was smiling, I'd be more inclined to talk and interact with the seven regardless of how attractive the ten was.

It's really quite crazy because I pay little attention to the actual figure of a girl, and more attention to their gestures and attitude.

It's also been a lot easier to talk to girls, I didn't have much of a problem before, but nowadays I can start a conversation with a chick about absolutely anything without worrying about what she thinks of me. All of the stigma about sex has just faded away, and I see girls as just another person to talk to about anything, rather than someone I need to impress.

Some would say that my confidence has risen, but I actually think it's my ego that has been broken down and reprogrammed, along with my interpretation of everything to do with girls; it's amazing.

So in conclusion:

Realistically, I've had more benefits from PornFree than I'd ever imagined, and as I said before, it was my long streak that made me refrain from going back to porn more than anything else.

Now that I have gone three months which I would never imagine I could ever of done, I am one hundred percent certain that I am NEVER going back to pornography. I've experience being a porn-slave, and now I've experienced being free; I much rather being free.

But what now?

My plans for the future are set in stone to be honest, because I no longer have a big urge to MO because of my porn abstinence, I've basically realised that I could probably give NoFap another shot.

I've decided that for New Year, I'm going to cut out fapping. I want to go into 2015 completely porn and fap free, along with other things like eating more healthy and exercising more.

I have discovered that despite everything I have read from the NoFap point of view does not really apply to me. However, it's not necessarily the same case for everyone, it could be incredibly great for you!

The main purpose I'm giving NoFap another shot is because, well, why not? I'm willing to jump on and give myself another challenge to go ahead and try to succeed in, and hopefully with three months of PornFree, I should be more than ready.

Advice to people beginning PornFree:

PornFree is not an overnight conversion, it will take a lot of effort. The first three weeks for me was very difficult, and that was the time that I wanted to PMO most. I think that as long as you steer away from viewing any sort of visual stimulation, such as pictures, or sexually suggestive videos, you should do great. Also be aware of erotic hypnosis and erotic literature, often times these are very damaging.

I would say that once you hit a month of PornFree, it gets a lot easier, or at least in my experience. Mainly because of the fact that you've gone so long that you don't want to ruin your streak.

I also suggest taking up meditation, and some kind of activity to take part in. Walking and meditation have genuinely guided me a lot in times of desperation, they're perfect for clearing your mind and thinking positively.

Anyway, that's about all I have to say. I know that this has been an incredibly long thread, but I had a lot to fit in. I hope that I have somehow managed to help at least one person with this thread, and if I have done that then I will consider posting this a great thing to have done.

I will most likely update this thread once I hit the six months milestone, unless of course it's considered grave-digging, and in that case I'll go ahead and post a new thread.

Wishing you a Merry Christmas, and a happy PornFree new year!

LINK - The Story So Far: 92 Days Free From Porn

by Klodion


 

UPDATE - Four Months - Update.

Alright guys.

So, I made a post for my three month milestone 27 days ago, it was my first post on /r/PornFree. I'll leave a link to that because to be honest it's probably quite interesting, and contains a lot of information.

http://www.reddit.com/r/pornfree/comments/2pmu0o/the_story_so_far_92_day...

Anyway, I just hit four months and everythings good. Feeling a bit down at the moment from quitting smoking, but on a good day I'm definetly feeling the benefits from PornFree. Interactions with women recently have been great, and if I'm honest I have absolutely NO desire to watch porn at all anymore. It's like I've been PornFree for years, yet I remember the last time I viewed it as if it was yesterday.

Anyway, to all you guys worrying about how difficult it's going to be, forget about it and just stop. Tell yourself that if you didn't want to watch porn, you wouldn't be relapsing.

Well yeah good luck, and here's a late happy New Year from me.


 

UPDATE - Nearing 6 Months Free From Porn, I Have Created Detailed List Of 7 Lessons Which I Have Learned From Quitting Porn That May Help You.

Hey guys, I've spent several hours constructing this PDF in order to share with you guys the main techniques that I have used to avoid using porn. I talk a lot about the psychology behind porn addiction, and simple methods to break associations to porn, or to minimize its influence on your thought process.

This is by no means a short read, (12 A4 pages consisting of over 5,6000 words) which is why I decided not to post it straight to Reddit, but I wanted to put in as much detail as possible, and hopefully some of you guys can make use of the tricks that I have found successful.

Good luck guys, join me in not PMO'ing today!

https://www.dropbox.com/s/wae39la7bqq7doy/Seven_Things_I_Learned_From_Quitting_Porn.pdf?dl=0