ED - I was told masturbation was healthy. It cost me my dream.
How can I find the words to thank you all at no fap? I was groomed to be playing for a major cricket team, and even touted as the best in my field, twice representing my country in the under 18's. But disaster struck early. On trials I would freeze up. My coach slowly began losing confidence. I honestly did not know why. I thought of myself as "just being able to perform at certain times and not others."
Cricket is a social sport. And I always had social anxiety and strongly individually withdrawn. My first ten years of porn were just looking at clothed women in magazines, showing thighs and some wearing bras. Not many females in cricket. So wasn't much to set me off. My second ten years or so escalated to playboy stuff. I could still function with girl friends and eventually with my wife.
But it was only when I got my smartphone that I began to really lose my libido in the bedroom. I searched and discovered this sub. This last year and especially on my current streak I have come to discover that MASTURBATION and self induced ORGASM HAVE RUINED MY SUCCESSFUL CHANCES. I COULD HAVE BEEN AN INTERNATIONAL STAR, BUT EVEN THOUGH I was masturbating to clothed girls in glossy innocent mags, I must have lost so much energy that I had nothing left for my cricket practice.
I am weeping whilst writing this. I was a young man who was told masturbation was healthy. And it cost me my dream. I took jobs from one department store to another, selling cricket gear, trainers, football shirts, and living in the worst crime ridden places, which was miles apart from my grammar school education.
In the last couple of years I almost got my life back, due to a business venture, I bought a house and business was looking promising, but after a messy divorce that cost me all the savings I had I am at square one. But I have a new flat, new wife. but most of all - a NEW OUTLOOK. NOW THIS WAS ALL BECAUSE OF NO FaP. I am celebrating my brand new life.
Because this is the first time I have been porn and masturbation free for over 58 days (in cricket, numbers and records are all-important). I am ready and motivated to keep porn and masturbation free for the next two years. To save my energy. And make my business thrive again. Thank you everyone on this sub! Here's a toast to victory.
LINK - Tears in my eyes as I thank you all. For quarter of a century I had been addicted. I have broken my personal best of 58 days and never knew how much masturbation and porn have ruined 25 years of my life. My story - professional sport to shop assistant to international business.