ED: The sex is now amazing - much more creative, much more fun, much more honest
Hey guys, thanks for sharing your stories, they all helped my on my way. Now the time has come to give you mine.
Attempt 1: Failed after 12 days. Attempt 2: Failed after about 20 days. Attempt 3: Failed after 31 days. Attempt 4: Last 90 days. Feels good.
How did I get through 90 days? 1. The main point to realise here is, that YOU are doing the challenge, because it is YOUR decision. You made this decision from the reason, which is completely your personal thing. You´re not doing it for anyone else. No one will benefit from it as much as you. If you made this decision, you should stick with it and keep it in mind. 2. If you relapse, remember how you feel right after it. Because that is EXACTLY THE SAME feeling that you will get everytime you relapse. Remember, that you KNOW, that you don´t want to do that. You know that it will make you feel like shit. And you know that it will just flush the time you spend on staying without PMO down the toilet and you have to start over again. 3. What you will do is just a temporary satisfaction. Your excitement gets high, than you get an orgasm, and you´re back where you were before. You gain NOTHING! There is no value in doing that. And that temporary moment is not worth it. That is propably the most important phrase. IT´S NOT WORTH IT. - not the orgasm, but the challenge failure. After you´re finished, go for it and masturbate for a full hour - but do it because you want to. Not because you can´t control yourself. The feeling of temporary satisfaction is just not worth the feeling of failure and accepting the fact that your (fake) biological cravings are stronger than you are. 4. If you have some horny feelings and you are afraid that you might relapse, turn the computer on, and type in the google: "reddit nofap day XX" and instead of XX write your current day of your NoFap challenge. I did this at least 10 times and it always worked. I don´t know how brain works, it is propably something with right and left side,but here is the fact: "The part of your brain that is craving PMO does not think long-term." This is not a rocket science. Example: You have a girlfriend you love, and there is a hot chick flirting with you. You know, you don´t want to cheat on your GF with her, but after a certain point, you get horny and your brain start to think differently. After you get an orgasm, no matter how good, you know what you did and part of your brain, that thinks long-term starts to scream in your face how stupid you are. So remember, pleasure from PMO is temporary, you´re alone and you gained NOTHING. 5. Don´t forget to read other posts when you feel like PMO. I know I already said this but it is very important! 6. Willpower. During the challenge, you are improving your willpower, not only for stopping PMO, but for all the other areas in life as well. Together with the 90 days challenge, set yourself another goal, or two or three. Learn how to play guitar, how to play piano. Give yourself an objective to read 7 books - motivational literature is really great. There is loads of stuff to read. Start to learn a foreign language. Give yourself an objective to gain few kilograms by working out and eating properly. You will feel better AND you will look better! Start to attend dancing classes, painting classes, yoga, karate, football club, handball club. There is literally millions opportunities of how you can keep yourself occupied so that you don´t relapse just because of boredom. And I believe, that is the ultimate goal of 90 days challenge. To get more from life. And with the challenge, you get a stronger willpower. And willpower, perseverance and motivation is the key towards achieving anything. 7. Identify your "breaking point". If you relapse, it is usually, because you started to think about porn, or whatever crazy sexual shit that made you horny. You have to be able to identify when this happens, so that you can start working on whatever you have set as an objective to escape this feelings. Saying to yourself - "just for few minutes", or "I just think of fucking this pornstar in my mind for few seconds" are excuses, which, if not eliminated, will end up by PMO. The moment you know that you might relapse you have to cut it. Go jogging, read a book, get a cold shower, etc.
And now the chapter I was looking forward the most. When I started, I did not expect that it will change me profoundly, but I have to admit, it did. My reasons were 1/3 - erection, 2/3 - moral feeling, 3/3 - fun & "challenge accepted".
What I gained:
- Definitely better sex. In terms of both my performance, me enjoying it, the girl enjoying and the honesty of the whole thing. Oh, and the erection after 33 days of nofap is so hard, I can use my cock as a baseball stick.
- Amazing willpower and focus. This part is the most difficult to describe. It feels as if I had more energy in my body and mind. I am more capable of decision making, problem solving, thinking, working on whatever I decide to achieve.
- Listening skills - this one is closely connected to willpower. It was one of my weaknesses. I worked on it, read some book and I can see the difference. And it´s amazing!
- Better sense of self-worth. Look at the mirror anytime of the day. And look at the mirror before/after you masturbate. No need to explain more.
I had sex with my -now my girlfriend- and the longest I lasted without orgasm in my challenge was 33 days - twice. The sex was amazing everytime - much more creative, much more fun, much more honesty. And towards the end of the challenge it was a blast! And she enjoyed it better as well, which was important for me.
And the last thing. I did PMO on day 90. Because I wanted to try it, see what it feels like. Well, guess what. It was different and it felt stupid. Orgasm was boring and the porn looked artificial. The truth is, that this is EXACTLY, what it is in reality.
I would like to thank everyone for support, you are all amazing people and I wish a strong willpower, perseverance and motivation to everyone of you. It´s MORE than worth it. And you will know why when you will be writing a post like this one. Cheers!