Eye Gazing Parties

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eye gazing logoHere's a chance to master a powerful bonding behavior. Says the Eye Gazing Party website:

The eyes are the windows to the soul, so it’s a lot easier to have a mesmerizing conversation with someone after you’ve spent two minutes looking into his or her eyes. That is the simple idea behind Eye Gazing Parties. Banal chit-chat about employment status, the location of your apartment, or where you’re from is not a great way to spark a captivating connection with an alluring new person. Eye contact is.

What is it?

An even number of singles meet in an attractive space over drinks and world beats. After a fun mini-lesson in the art and psychology of eye contact, the group splits into pairs, and each pair spends up to two minutes looking into each other’s eyes, no talking, with inviting beats in the background. Pairs switch every one to two minutes, for a total of around half an hour. There is mingling, music and drinks afterwards. The eye gazing has an electrifying effect on the party. Two minutes of eye contact is the Cadillac of ice-breakers.

A forum member said:

The one I attended provided two minutes of gazing, round robin style, with roughly 20 people of the opposite sex. Everyone gazed with everyone in sequence while seated. Men moved. Women stayed put. One does not touch. One sits on chairs with several inches between partners’ knees. There was background music. I would have preferred silence and better lighting. There was a mixer before and after the gazing. To my surprise, some people just disappeared afterwards. I used the time to get feedback and feel out what people thought of the experience. The feedback was as valuable as the gazing itself and I got a better sense of who might come to this and why. There are not enough such events.

Eye contact is a more useful skill in some ways and one that several men and women here have said is hard to do without feeling too seen. The Richardsons in Tantric Love: Feeling Versus Emotion speak of difficulty with eye contact as a symptom of emotional blockage. Even if one isn’t blocked in any way, it is good to have practice with feeling while gazing and detecting emotional issues with the eyes. This was a nice non-verbal way to be seen. Women seemed to have more trouble and fidget more. Some mentioned this to me afterwards. Men seemed more serious about it and willing to fully engage according to some of the female comments. Don’t put yourselves down guys. We can hold our own with the women.

I felt one could readily make a solid friend through the gazing event. The gazing was fully egalitarian and about deep linking. Even the people that came with a friend in tow had to rough it one-on-one in gazing for about 40 minutes. The gazing triggered subtler emotions and stretched the senses. We are much more sensitive than we think. Interesting and somewhat amazing things happen with different pairs. . . mirroring, sending and receiving, energy exchange, blinking, smiling, laughing, heart rate changes, body movements, breathing, etc.