For the first time in a few years... I enjoy sex. I enjoy her.
I joined in late May/early June after I realized how much it takes to get me off and how much I was fapping to porn. I had a NoFap stint that lasted for 21 days, then another that lasted for 5 days, then I just totally "relapsed". I was looking at porn every day again and fapping every day... again. This struggle continued for a few months.
Then back in early October, I read a book about the "Sexual Reboot". It provided some good insight, but it told me that in order to start, I needed to not masturbate for a month. I also should totally quit porn. I decided to stick to it. That is, until, I met a woman. This woman and I got really into each other and started having all sorts of conversations. Some got a little naughty. Some got a LOT naughty. Even besides that, it was clear we were hitting it off.
Then, one night, after I finished talking to her, I realized something: Man, I am turned oooonnnn. I was rock-hard, horny, and well... I had to do something about it.
So I fapped.
Five days into my 30-day stint. And you know what? I had the most amazing orgasm I had in years. The best part? I did it without porn.
That's when I realized what I needed to do: I could continue masturbating in moderation, while avoiding porn at all costs. How has this worked? Well, I don't want to make long-term judgments... but let's say that me and that woman are still talking a month later... and we've been fooling around quite a bit. And for the first time in a few years... I enjoy it. I enjoy her.
Sometimes I do have a couple days where I masturbate a little too much. Like, in 2 days I'll fap 3 times. But I catch myself and don't fap for 3 or 4 days after. Sometimes 5 days. I've been doing this since October 13th, 2014 -- the last time I fapped to porn. And that's the thing: dropping porn has made this 500% easier.
I fapped myself dry before because I surrounded myself with porn every single day for years. Take the porn away and well... there's no reason to fap every day. In fact, it's better to fap occasionally only when you are turned on and use your imagination.
So all that being said, this is where I stand with nofap:
- I agree that porn is unhealthy and shouldn't be consumed. At least, not how we consume it nowadays.
- I disagree that completely forgoing masturbation is the answer. This sends an unspoken message that masturbation is shameful and wrong. When we make people feel ashamed for masturbating, then convince them that shame is one of their biggest triggers for masturbating... what do you think is gonna happen? Masturbation should be seen for what it is: normal, fun and healthy when done in moderation. Should you do it every day? No, but should you do it whenever your body is attracted to another body that isn't on a computer screen? I think so. It's all about having responsible, sustainable fun with your body... just like sex :)
Is my solution your solution? Well... I dunno. All I know is that NoFap isn't the silver bullet. I don't have the silver bullet. The silver bullet doesn't exist.
Porn addiction isn't something that can be killed with antibiotics -- it's a nuanced problem with a million possible solutions. Don't fool yourself into thinking there's just one... let alone this one.
And with that, I thank NoFap and bid you all farewell :)