Às deidh 30 bliadhna de PMO - chùm mi togail aig àm caidreamh airson a ’chiad uair a-riamh nam bheatha

Is e àireamh neònach a th ’ann an 82 latha airson a phostadh, ach bhuail mi clach-mhìle mhòr an-diugh. Cùl-fhiosrachadh luath. Tha mi air sgaradh-pòsaidh agus bha mi air mo chiad leannan (agus a ’chiad chom-pàirtiche gnèitheasach) a phòsadh. Mhair sin còrr air deich bliadhna agus tha nàire orm aideachadh gun tug PMO orm cha mhòr nach robh beatha gnè agam.

Cha robh an sgaradh-pòsaidh dìreach mar thoradh air PMO ach is urrainn dhomh innse dhut gur e droch chàirdeas a th ’ann an dàimh gun bheatha gnè.

Às deidh an sgaradh-pòsaidh a shocrachadh chaidh mi tro tòrr atharrachaidhean, nam measg a bhith a ’call tòrr cuideam, ag atharrachadh mo dhreuchd, càr, beachd, a h-uile dad. Ach cha do dh’atharraich mi PMO, eadhon ged a dh ’innis comhairliche pòsaidh dhomh gu robh mi a’ faighinn grèim air porn (chan fhaca mi an adhbhar airson stad - cha robh GF agam agus bha e cho comhfhurtail).

Goirid air adhart bliadhna às deidh an sgaradh-pòsaidh agus bidh mi a ’coinneachadh ri nighean bhrèagha chùramach agus faodaidh tu an sgeulachd a chreidsinn mu thràth - cha b’ urrainn dhomh a thogail. Agus dìreach mar aig àm mo phòsaidh thòisich mi a ’smaoineachadh hey, tha mi dìreach briste agus feumaidh an nighean seo a bhith beò leis gu bheil mi nam leannan mòr A-MHÀIN airson an gnè.

Bha i glè thaiceil agus thuirt i gum biodh sinn ‘ag obair troimhe’ air na cùisean agam - agus thug sin orm smaoineachadh mu dheidhinn dè a ’chùis a bh’ agam. Agus bhon a fhuair mi ro-shealladh de na bha an duilgheadas faisg air bliadhna air ais, thòisich mi a ’leughadh mu dheidhinn, lorg mi am fòram seo, YBOP, agus làraich eile. Agus aon latha nuair a bha mi air saor-làithean agus an àite a bhith a ’dol a-muigh bha mi a’ dol a choimhead air porn air an laptop agam agus a ’toirt toileachas dhomh fhìn, bhuail e mi - b’ e seo an duilgheadas. Dh'fheumainn stad.

Bha an latha sin 82 latha air ais agus tha mi moiteil a ràdh gu bheil mi air a bhith foirfe gun masturbation no orgasm. Chan eil mi cho moiteil a ràdh gu bheil mi a ’dèanamh ath-chraoladh air porn a h-uile beagan làithean a tha e coltach - mar as trice dìreach beagan mhionaidean de bikini / cridhe bog ach tha fios agam gu bheil e fhathast ceàrr. Is e seo am blàr a tha mi fhathast a ’sabaid.

Ach, co-dhiù dhòmhsa, tha e coltach gur e nofap cridhe an fhuasglaidh, oir b ’e an duilgheadas a bh’ agam desensitization mar thoradh air deathgrip - cha robh mi a ’faireachdainn dad bho PIV no BJ no rud sam bith ach mo làmh. Le bhith a ’cur às do mo làmh gu tur is urrainn dhomh a bhith a’ faireachdainn a-rithist gu slaodach (gu slaodach, ach gu cinnteach).

Mu 45 latha a-steach bha mi gu cinnteach a ’faireachdainn am PIED a’ falbh, ach cha robh e fhathast foirfe. Dh'innis mi dha mo GF mun duilgheadas agam an uairsin, rud eile a tha ri dheasbad an seo; co-dhiù anns an t-suidheachadh agam bha e gu math cuideachail innse dhi gus am bi i a ’tuigsinn na tha aice ri dhèanamh gus mo chuideachadh a’ fàs nas fheàrr.

Agus airson faighinn chun t-solas aig deireadh an tunail - a tha an dòchas dìreach an solas A ’CHIAD - madainn an-diugh bha e comasach dhomh a chumail suas aig àm PIV mar sin airson a’ chiad uair a-riamh nam bheatha (agus tha mi aig deireadh mo 30n. ) Thug mi orgasm dha nighean dìreach bho sin. Bha mi cuideachd a ’faireachdainn tòrr a bharrachd (gu follaiseach bho bha e comasach dhomh faighinn a-steach agus cumail a’ dol) ach tha dòigh agam fhathast ri dhol mus bi mi làn ath-thòiseachadh.

Mar sin tha, tha seo rudeigin de phost brag, ach chòrd e rium a bhith a ’leughadh puist brag dhaoine eile oir thug an soirbheachas aca dòchas dhomh airson mo shoirbheachadh. Tha slighe agam fhathast ri dhol, ach mas urrainn dhomh geàrr-chunntas a dhèanamh air puingean mo thurais:

  • Addict PMO ùine mhòr a leig le pòsadh lobhadh bhon taobh a-staigh air sgàth
  • Mu dheireadh chuir mi an aghaidh mo chur-ris mu thrì mìosan air ais agus bha e 100% math air nofap (gun oir no masturbation) ach cha robh e cho math air porn (air a lughdachadh gu mòr, ach chan ann air pornfree)
  • Roinn a h-uile mion-fhiosrachadh le leannan ùr. Mar sin tha mi air modh ‘furasta’ ath-lìonadh aig an aon àm ri ath-bhualadh.
  • PIED mòran nas ìsle (air a chur na àite le beagan dragh coileanaidh) mu làithean 45 a-steach
  • Bha e comasach dha làithean PIV 82 a chrìochnachadh ann an
  • Air a bhith thairis air 90 latha às aonais an orgasm agam fhèin, agus chan eil mi a ’dol a spreadhadh - mar sin chan eil feum air a h-uile gille

tl; dr PMO addict nach b ’urrainn a-riamh PIV a choileanadh comasach air a dhèanamh às deidh làithean 82 NOFAP. Chan eil ath-thòiseachadh gu cinnteach coileanta ach gu mòr a ’dol air adhart agus is fhiach e na h-ìobairtean a chaidh a dhèanamh

LINK - Post 82 latha - tha solas aig deireadh an tunail!

by yetanotheranon1

 

ÙRACHADH - Às deidh faisg air ceithir mìosan, tha mi a ’tòiseachadh a’ fàs àbhaisteach

Tha mo cheann-bliadhna nofap ceithir mìosan bho chionn latha no dhà. Tha e dìreach mìos às deidh dhomh coinneachadh ri mo leannan gnàthach, a bha na connlach a bhris na càmhalan air ais orm mu dheireadh a ’briseadh a’ chearcall PMO. Bha i cho milis agus tuigse agus bha mi airson gum biodh i cho dona ach nach b ’urrainn dhomh coileanadh agus airson a’ chiad uair nam bheatha thuirt mi gu bheil mi airson a bhith nas fheàrr, chan ann a-mhàin dhi, ach dhomh fhìn. Agus an uairsin leugh mi, leugh mi, leugh mi agus cho-dhùin mi am prògram a ghabhail os làimh.

<--break->” src=”https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/spacer.gif” title=”<--break-->“>It has not been without its bumps. I’ve been completely free of fap — no edging, no masturbation — but not pornfree. I’ve learned that its not because I am not satisfied looking at my girl, but its because of the novelty of seeing something new.</p><p>My main symptom was terrible PIED; while I was married for over a decade (to my first girlfriend and only sexual partner ever) I can’t say I ever successfully had PIV sex. I just assumed I was ‘broken’ at sex and that the PMO cycle was not the problem.</p><p>During the divorce I saw a counselor who told me I was addicted to porn, but I was going through a LOT of things and chose to ignore it, thinking whats the problem with PMO when you don’t have anyone. Looking back it was so stupid, but in my own defence, I was able to lose a LOT of weight and change my attitude towards women even before I quit PMO.</p><p>At around the 30 day mark of the program I told my girlfriend what I was going through. She was supportive and I stuck with ‘easy’ mode in the sense I still had sexual activity, just didn’t O, and still had PIED issues. At around the 90 day mark I for the first time in my life had PIV sex where I gave her an orgasm, and a few days later, I actually had an O inside a woman for the first time EVER. It was such a different experience that I didn’t even know it was happening till it was done.</p><p>Suffice to say I felt pretty good (even though like any one who is having first time sex, it was sooo quick). Then I think I fell into a flatline, or something happened. For the next two weeks I couldn’t get it up at all, and I was despondent. I felt like I did in my first relationship, that I was broken. But unlike last time, I felt horrible because I wanted to be better, because I know myself and my girlfriend deserve a normal sex life.</p><p>If one thing I’ve learned as a side effect of giving up PMO is that your emotions pour out of you like no one’s business. And this weekend after some progress in the right direction a few things happened that led me down a deep, dark path of self doubt. I can say honestly I never thought about relapsing, but I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel.</p><p>I also read the forums and we all know that in addition to the success stories we have stories of struggle, and there was a post yesterday that was something like “I just want to cry”. And I’m a typical guy, was told never to cry, and then you add on PMO which masks our emotions, I never cried. But I just cried about where I am, and cried in front of my girlfriend, just because the emotions were pouring out and I wasn’t bottling it up anymore and I wasn’t resorting to fap either.</p><p>As someone who PMOed for 30+ years and didn’t cry for 30+ years I can say that both things are definitely wrong. I can only wish someone I trusted had told me this. I can’t say that crying on its own felt better, but confronting my emotions, my insecurities, my fears, with someone I trusted was a big step of the process.</p><p>So after being reassured that my girlfriend and I would work on it as a team, and us talking over some things that normal couples do (such as being more expressive during sex over what we like, etc) we tried again the next couple of days. The next day, I was able to have PIV sex and have an O (so yes, the second time in my life inside a woman). Since I was aware of the sensation I was able to actually delay the O for a few minutes, but still not enough for my GF to O. The day after, I can say that it was a normal (still brief) sexual encounter .. I brought my GF to O and then I O afterwards.</p><p>In any regular life this is not something to write home about, because the sex was just ‘normal’. But after all this time, being normal is all I want. I now have regular issues – having to time my and my GF O, different sexual libidos, etc. And I’m not completely out of the woods. I am still so insecure about this and know that doubt will come into my mind again.</p><p>But I only know one thing — PMO is no longer an option. I just can’t do it anymore. One last aside. A couple of days ago my GF and I watched the movie Thanks for Sharing. That movie is about sex addiction but there’s a LOT in common with our problems (as porn and masturbation addiction are often also problems of sex addicts). My GF told me after watching it she felt a lot more understanding of the journey I was going through. Since she was sitting next to me she also said I was sweating a lot through the movie. I believe that was because it was uncomfortably accurate. So we had some more serious and frank discussions about the addiction and the recovery process.</p><p>I told her that while I’ve been tempted to fap I didn’t do it because I didn’t want to fail you guys online, fail the fellow soldiers in the nofap war, fail her, or fail myself. I think about all of those folks I’d let down if I fap and then I don’t. I told her the truth that I’ve had much more difficulty with porn and that I want to give it up for good too. And then she asked me, very sweetly, to give that up for her too. And you know, I’m glad she asked me. Some guys might take it poorly (like the Don Jon character did in that movie) but I know she did it because she loves me and now every time I’m tempted to click a link I don’t want to let her down.</p><p>tl;dr After four months with some severe ups and downs, many of them emotional, am able to have normal sex with all the normal issues that normal people have. The reboot isn’t complete but the journey is the ONLY option I have.</p><hr><p> </p><p><strong>UPDATE2  <a class=- Faodaidh tu tighinn air ais a-rithist (air sgaradh air sgàth porn)

Mar sin, tha duilgheadas mòr air a bhith agam le porn fad mo bheatha. Thug mo charaid as fheàrr a-steach mi air ais san àrd-sgoil agus bha mi nam leanabh geeky, nerdy agus mar sin tha cuimhne agam uairean a chaitheamh a ’feuchainn ri GIFs a luchdachadh sìos bhon mhodem 1200 baud agam agus ga fhalach bho m’ athair (nota taobh: tha mo phàrantan a ’tighinn faisg air dìreach ag innse dhomh tha e dona gun a bhith a ’mìneachadh carson nach obraich thu. Feumaidh tu cuideachd gabhail ris gu bheil do chlann nas buige na thu fhèin - ma tha iad airson rudeigin a dhèanamh nach eil thu ag aontachadh, nì iad e).

Bha an dàimh a bh ’agam ri porn ro àm fìor chàirdeas a bh’ agam ri boireannaich. Cha tug e buaidh mhòr air mar a dhèilig mi ri boireannaich, ach dhèilig e ris mar a làimhsich mi SEX. Agus is e a ’bhun-loidhne an gnè as fheàrr leam gun bhreithneachadh sam bith agus air iarrtas seach àrdachadh is ìsleachadh gnè fìor.

Mar sin ged nach robh dad sam bith agam mu bhith a ’faighinn‘ feise ’mus do phòs mi tha cuimhne agam cho bochd sa bha e agus mar a chaidh mi air ais gu porn sa bhad. Cha robh gnè agam air oidhche na bainnse, agus an uairsin airson ceithir bliadhna deug chuirinn eagal air an oidhche feise seachdaineil agam le mo bhean (a-nis), a ’dèanamh leisgeulan airson a sheachnadh, agus an uairsin ag iarraidh a dhol don t-seòmar eile agus cuid a lorg porn gus jack dheth gu.

Ged nach b ’e seo an aon dhuilgheadas anns an dàimh a bh’ agam, le bhith a ’coimhead air ais bha cuibhreann mòr dheth - is dòcha 90%. Agus chan e eadhon an dìth gnè, gu dearbh b ’e dìth dlùth-cheangal a bh’ ann. Agus ged a bha mi air an làr nuair a dh ’iarr mo bhean (a-nis) sgaradh-pòsaidh, an-dràsta saoilidh mi carson a dh’ fhuirich an ifrinn cho fada, carson a leig mi sin?

Mar sin, rè na h-imeachdan sgaradh-pòsaidh chunnaic mi comhairliche pòsaidh a rinn sgrùdadh ceart air na cùisean agam le porn. Ach cha do mhothaich mi fhathast e, gu sònraichte bhon a bha mi ùr singilte airson a ’chiad uair ann am fichead bliadhna, agus b’ e porn an rud comhfhurtail a dh ’aithnich mi fad mo bheatha.

Agus an uairsin choinnich mi ri nighean foirfe, agus bha gnè againn. Agus bha e cho duilich. Chaidh e gu dona a-rithist. Ach an turas seo, cha robh mi gu bhith a ’gabhail ris‘ sin mar a tha e ’. Bha agam ri faighinn a-mach dè a bha ceàrr, oir bha mi air gabhail ris leis an t-seann bhean agam nach robh ‘gnè riatanach ma tha gaol agad’ no rudeigin bullshit mar sin. Bha fios agam a-nis gu robh beatha gnè sona, sàsachail na riatanas airson dàimh fad-ùine.

Sin nuair a thàinig mi tarsainn air na fòraman nofap agus pornfree agus leugh mi cuid de sgeulachdan mu dhaoine dìreach mar mise. Agus tha e air a bhith na rathad fada le ath-chraolaidhean eatarra, ach tha mi air a bhith a ’feuchainn ri porn agus fap a leigeil seachad airson faisg air bliadhna. Tha fios aig an leannan gnàthach mun duilgheadas agam agus tha i air a bhith taiceil.

Bho tha mi air a bhith a ’feuchainn ris an dà chuid a leigeil seachad, tha gnè fada nas fheàrr air a bhith agam (chan eil sin foirfe ann an dòigh sam bith) agus bha e comasach dhomh orgasm a dhèanamh leatha (cha do rinn mi a-riamh le mo iar-bhean). Agus is e an ùine fhada is goirid gu bheil mi an sàs a-rithist, leis an àm seo beatha feise fallain às aonais porn agus fap mar phàirt den phlana.

tl; dr Chaidh a ’chiad chàirdeas de faisg air fichead bliadhna a ghrodadh bhon taobh a-staigh air sgàth tràilleachd PMO agus lean e gu sgaradh-pòsaidh. Bha e comasach dha a thionndadh timcheall agus dàimh ùr a thogail (** Tha mi ENGAGED **) às deidh dhomh PMO a leigeil seachad.

Mar sin dhaibhsan a tha a ’faireachdainn mar gu bheil thu aig ìre ìosal, tha tòrr againn air a bhith ann. Faodaidh tu a thionndadh timcheall, ge bith càite a bheil thu.