Greetings from the Orient: the problem is UNIVERSAL
Comments: This post contains an introduction and conclusion by a Chinese nofapper who translated a rebooting account. It also has links to Chinese forums where guys are giving up porn and experience benefits.
LINK - Greetings from the Orient
Hello, I wonder if anyone still remember me. I posted a while ago about the nofap community in China and got quite a bit of response. I promised that I would come up with some translations of the Chinese posts and probably update you on the situation here in China. So here I am.
Let me introduce you to two major Chinese nofap forums. They were created by a few people who were deeply hurt by porn addiction (masturbation, prostitution, and various forms of unhealthy sexual misconduct) and volunteered to set up a dedicated server for sites that intend to help those in trouble.
- One is http://www.jiese.org/bbs/, 90 thousand members and more than 55 thousand posts. It is aimed toward the general audience with no religious influence.
- The other is a Buddhist site dedicated to healing addicts through the Buddhist ethics of self-discipline, meditation and wisdom. Buddhist cannons records sexual misconduct including masturbation as bad karma that leads to suffering in the future. It is http://bbs.jiexieyin.org/forum.php/. It has more than 140 thousand members and more than 890 thousand posts.
The first site has sections like: newcomer's home special section for exemplary members(mostly their stories) traditional culture (ancient Chinese culture on self-discipline, benefiting others, fighting the modern culture that glorifies sexual misconduct.etc) girls' area starting from zero ( how to overcome the 7 day bottleneck) Health forums etc....
And here comes a post that I translated, written by a Chinese addict, who probably has little knowledge of English and who, amazingly, underwent exactly the same experience as his Western counterpart and have managed, with the help of himself and the community, conquered the monster of PMO: (words in the bracket are my illustrations)
Title: Keep hoping where all hope is lost, and you will stand tall once again
April, a beautiful season. And it's the ninth month since I last fapped. During the period, I have had many emotional ups and downs as well as physical illness. But I managed to pull through. During the nine months, I managed to pass the Bar exam (legal exam in China), and was admitted by the University of Peking (a prestigious university in China), and have felt an incredible sense of joy and success with my personal evolution. I really really want to share with everyone. I had hesitated to title my article as "my experience" or "my method". I went with the first one, coz all the methods I tried have already been written before.
My life before nofap I once submitted a post about my life, I'm 30. I will mainly talk about my history of pmo here.
- Length of time: 15 years. Some members might be even under 15...haha...Brother Mengziyao has conquered PMO at the age of 16 and have submitted awesome posts on fighting PMO, kudos to the young people.
- State of health: like many members, I have long been tormented by PMO. from 20 to 30, where the person's body undergoes an important phase in physical growth, I sadly "overdrafted" my precious health (Chinese medicine treats sexual energy as limited and very important to the maintaining of stamina and health), I have long felt physically weak, soreness in the waist ( the kidney area where a man's vital energy is stored), nightmares and acne problem. My genitals also have felt a bit swollen and a sensation of them "dragging down". It was a period of sub-healthiness.
- Psychological: loss of excitement, very stubborn character, easily angry, and tendency to be compulsive.
Real benefits that came after nofap it's almost nine months, I felt great change in my physical and mental health. first, my body has not yet fully recovered, but I am stronger ,I don't feel easily tired. With regular physical exercise, I feel like 20 again. My sleep also improved. Normally 6 hours a day of quality sleep. My prostate gland also felt a LOT better.
Secondly, the improvement in the state of mind is the best part. Success in the exams brought back my confidence (these two were very difficult exams! the author was relying on them to get vital credentials to find a good job). During the period I began to reflect on my own mistakes and treats those around me with more kindness, honesty and tolerance.
5 hurdles I went through:
- First hurdle: my road was never a smooth one (I would say blood and tears). I have 15 years of PMO history, quitting cold turkey almost killed me. In the beginning, I felt restless at night, can't fall alseep and felt pain in my lower abdomin. I also had a lot of wet dreams. It only improved half month into no fap. About early symptoms of quitting, I suggest you refer to another detailed post, the begginning is so important, new comers should persevere, never doubt, stand your ground! We've been in the dark too long that it's not comfortable seeing sunlight. But the pain will pass and we will embrace a better life.(people might laugh at those who struggle with porn addiction, but if they know that it is exactly the same as drug addiction, alcohol addiction, they will know the pain and helplessness one feels when fighting it)
- Second hurdle: viewing some nude art pics, almost relapsed. into the second month, my body began to recover. one day when I was viewing emails from friends, a nude pic (not a porno one) almost got me (according to Buddhist theory, mental affliction within YOU is the ROOT cause for making of bad karma, so normally beginners are strongly advised to stay safe from outside triggers, only great masters who have achieved spiritual attainment can withstand temptations. so my view is, if you know you are a bomb, kindly stay from fire as much as possible ok? Dont dance around it thinking you are awesome, you will cry when it explodes) A lot people ask: well can we at least look at nude "art"...(ommited, the author calls for regulation of nude art in China, possibly a rating system)
- Refraining from getting service from a prostitute I was glad I made the decision. I've already written about it.
- Using video games to ease anxiety, boredom etc. I was addicted to games as well. Sometimes a long day of video gaming would strengthen the feeling of loneliness and helplessness. Please do not substitute porno with video games, many veterans of nofap have warned against it. (my view that video gaming is also an act of instant, cheap self-gratification, the more you engage in it, the more you tend to forgive yourself, thus leading to relapse. also a sedentry life style is very very unhealthy, and how can you recover if you just sit there all day long)
- Watching movies with sex scenes and got horny I loved movies and used them as a way of improving English. When I was watching a famous movie, I got real hard. If it was before I would fapped instantly, but several months into nofap have strengthened my will and I killed the urge. Warning to my brothers, please stay away from triggers when you are still very volatile. NEVER EVER test yourself, thinking yeah Imma watch some porn and not jerk off to prove I'm awesome. That is very unwise.
Some general thoughts:
- Make a real fight out of it
- Meditate on the reason why you want to quit, develop strong will power, help from community===>success
- Three things you should do RIGHT now(and help with your nofap): treat your parents well, benefiting others, personal growth(learning and improving oneself)
- Make nofap known to people. Do not let the forum become a place where people just mourn their sadness and failure, make it a place where people stand up again and fight! Just repenting and no solid action is useless. 5. keep a healthy lifestyle and pay attention to your kidney (TMC theory) physical health helps with the process.
Recent plans: got admitted by graduate school, get a driver's license, improve my English, help people with legal aid. ...Omitted...
I will end here with a motto: when you think it's too late, it is actually the earliest (never too late, coz now is the only moment you have), people who found this place, you are lucky. Strengthen your will, never give up, we will have a great and enriching life ahead.
My translation is a hurried one and is probably not very good but I try to be as faithful to the original post as possible, so what you are reading is not some fancy story imagined by me, it is a real story. Please pay attention that this is from a Chinese dude who is in his 30s, who have struggled with PMO for 15 solid years, went through many failures, suffering and all and finally succeeded with his own will and help from the community.
I believe he has never been abroad, don't speak much English, and probably never known about reddit. So my message here is, the problem is UNIVERSAL, victims of the porn industry is all over the globe. And they are experiencing exactly the same pain you feel right now. And in fighting PMO, they also experienced exactly the same failures as you are undergoing now. And they have succeeded with varying lengths of time. If they can do it, so can you!!! Good luck my brothers in the Western. My prayers goes out to you all!