Ƙaunawar Ƙaƙa: Porn Can Help A Relationship, Amma Ci gaba tare da Tsanaki
TERESA M. PELHAM
Matsalar farko da batsa ita ce ta haifar da tsammanin rashin gaskiya. To, da sauran abubuwa.
Baya lokacin da batsa ke nufin samun kwafin Playboy daga kantin saukakawa a kan titi, ba mu ji da yawa game da mutanen da ke yin lalata da batsa ko lalata lalata ba.
(A ɗan lokaci, yi tunanin abin da tarihin bincike kan kwamfutar tafi-da-gidanka zai yi kama da lokacin da zan gama rubuta wannan shafi. bar mai yawa da za a so.)
Amma a yau, adadin shirye-shiryen bidiyo marasa iyaka suna iya bayyana akan kwamfutarka ko wayoyin salula tare da danna maballin. Kuma yayin da sauƙin isa kai kaɗai na iya haifar da wasu daga cikin waɗannan matsalolin, masana sun ce al'amuran jima-i ne kan iya haifar da matsala a cikin ɗakin kwana.
Magunguna masu ilimin jima'i sunyi rahoton cewa lokacin da masu kallo suka ba su damar cin abinci na jiki, matan da suka fi so, za su iya zama kunya lokacin da suke hulɗa da wani mutum mara kyau.
"Akwai alaƙa tsakanin maza da ke kallon hotunan batsa da kuma gazawar su ta da hankali da mutane a rayuwa ta zahiri," in ji Amanda Pasciucco, wata ƙwararriyar masaniyar ilimin jima'i a West Hartford. “Sun zama marasa mutunci kuma abokin tarayya ba zai iya yin takara ba. Jikin da suka gani ba gaskiya bane. ”
Na fahimci cewa hotunan batsa abin birgewa ne kuma bai kamata ya zama kamar alaƙar ƙawance tsakanin mutum biyu masu matsakaicin shekaru tare da gashin baya da ɓangarorin da ke faɗuwa ba. Amma lokacin da duk abin da mutum ya gani, yana da sauƙi a yi tunanin masifa a gaba.
Pasciucco ya ba da shawara ga ma'aurata na dukan shekaru daban-daban, kuma ya ce hanyar komawa kyakkyawar dangantaka ta jima'i shine ƙirƙirar hanzari tare.
"Yi magana game da abin da za ku iya yi don kawo wasu abubuwan rudu da suka gani ga alaƙar su," in ji ta. “Kawo hankalinka game da mutumin da kake tare.”
Zuciyarka? Ina tsammanin muna magana game da ita, da wasu nau'ukan.
Amma bincike ya nuna cewa akwai bambanci sosai kan yadda kwakwalwar take daukar kallon hotan hoto da kallon bidiyo. Pasciucco ya ba da shawarar yin azumin kwanaki 90 don “sake fasalin abubuwan da suka dace na kwakwalwa.”
Saboda sauƙin samun damar batsa, sabon bincike yayi kiyasin matsakaicin shekarun da samari zasu fara kallon batsa zuwa shekaru 12. (Amma ba 'ya'yanku ba, kuma tabbas ba nawa bane.)
Pasciucco ya ce: "Lokacin da mutane ke amfani da batsa a matsayin ilimin ilimin jima'insu, hakan na iya haifar da matsala."
Wendy Haggerty, wani kwararren likitancin jima'i da ofisoshin Glastonbury, Guilford da West Hartford, sun ce akwai damuwa da gaske game da amfani da batsa ta matasa.
"Nuna fiye da kima ya haifar da keɓewar jama'a da kuma halaye na ɗabi'a waɗanda ka iya yin mummunan tasiri ga ikon mutum na ƙulla dangantaka mai daɗi," in ji ta. “Batutuwa game da hadewar soyayya da mannewa da jima'i da nishadi na iya shigowa. Hoton jiki da batutuwan da suka shafi aikin su ma sakamako ne mai yuwuwa. ”
Amma batsa ba ta da kyau game da aure da dangantaka, in ji Haggerty.
“Ina iya tunanin kyawawan misalai da yawa inda na ga yana amfanar mutane da dangantaka. Na kuma shaida wasu mutane suna da tilas da ya kamata a magance su, ”in ji Haggerty. “A daidaito, hotunan batsa na iya zama abin birgewa da motsa jiki. Amfani da lafiyayyen kayan abu na iya taimakawa cikin ayyukan son kai da… jima'i. ”
Saurayin da ni mun yanke shawarar gwada ka'idar ta, kuma mun kalli wasu hotuna masu taushi a Showtime. Baya ga nono mara yuwuwa da mara motsi, ba a nuna wa masu kallo wani abu na sirri ba kuma 'yan wasan ba sa yin jima'i da gaske. Mun shagala da waƙar baka-chicka-wow-wow kuma mun ƙare cikin tattaunawar ko mawakan da ke ƙirƙirar kiɗa don fina-finan batsa sun taɓa samun lamba ta farko.
Haggerty ya ba da misalai na musamman na yadda batsa zai iya taimakawa.
"Babban abokin sha'awar na iya gano cewa jin daɗin kai tare da taimakon motsawar gani yana gamsar da buƙatunsa kuma yana ɗaukar matsa lamba daga ƙananan sha'awar abokin tarayya don shiga," in ji Haggerty. "Bugu da kari, mai karamin karfi na iya zabar yin amfani da hotunan batsa a matsayin wata hanyar da za ta bijiro da jima'i kuma ta kasance a shirye don kusantar juna."
Don haka, banda yanayin misogynistic da yawancin batsa, da maganganun jaraba, da kuma mummunan abubuwa da zai iya yi ga dangantaka, da kuma hanyar da ta haifar da dukkanin mutanen da ke yin adadi mai yawa a kan jiki, da batsa. kasancewa mai kyau a cikin dangantaka (ba kawai ga masu saurin hankali da mugun aiki ba, da kuma waƙar mediocre).
Teresa M. Pelham marubuciya ce ta littattafan yara “Gidajen Har abada na Roxy.” Don ƙarin: www.roxysforeverhome.com.
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