ʻAʻole loa au i manaʻo e loaʻa iaʻu i kēia mamao; ua kaumaha loa nā mea a ua kaua aku ka kaua e pmo i ka makahiki he 2. I kēlā manawa ua loli nui wau.
ʻO kaʻu hoʻomaka he 4 mau makahiki i hala aku nei, ʻaʻohe hilinaʻi, ʻaʻohe ʻike me nā kaikamahine a ʻaʻohe ola maoli. Ua lou ʻia wau i ka porn mai ka 13, mesmerized loa ʻia e ka honua pono ʻole o ke kuko. Ua hele hohonu wau i loko o kēia bullshit, a laila hoʻopau wau i ka ʻimi ʻana i kēlā mea weliweli. Ua hoʻomeamea wau iaʻu iho me kekahi mau ʻano weliweli, ua kū wau i ka huikau o ka moekolohe a ʻaʻole i loaʻa hou kahi "maʻamau" e ala nei. No laila kahi hana maikaʻi ʻole.
Ua paʻi wau iā 18 a ua hiki i ka manawa ke hele i ke kulanui. Ua manaʻo wau ʻaʻole i hoʻopilikia ʻo PMO i kaʻu hana limahana akā ʻike wau ua hele wale nō au ma 50% hiki i ka hiki. Ua hāʻawi ʻo Ke Kulanui iaʻu i kahi nohona olakino a me kekahi mau hoaaloha, ua aʻo nui mai ia iaʻu akā lilo wau i hilinaʻi nui ʻana i ka ʻona e ʻae iaʻu e launa, a e loaʻa i ka trauma o PMO.
ʻO kēia ka manawa i ʻike ai wau he pono wau e loli, hoʻoikaika wau e like me ka pupule a hana i nā mea āpau e hana maʻamau iaʻu iho, akā aia mau nō kēlā ʻāpana e nalo ana. Ma hope o ʻekolu mau makahiki o ka hana ikaika ua hiki iaʻu ke haʻalele i ka porn, ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu ke hoʻokū iā ʻoe no ka mea ʻaʻohe aʻu hoʻokuʻu ʻē aʻe a hoʻopunipuni ʻia i loko o ka mea olakino holoʻokoʻa.
No laila ma hope o kekahi makahiki ʻē aʻe ua hāʻawi au iā ʻoe ma hope o kekahi relapses i kēia manawa aia ma nā lā 90. Loaʻa wau i kahi aloha o 90 lā i kēia manawa, hele, ke kiʻi nei, ke manaʻo nei wau i nā lace o nā kiʻi porn i hala i lalo nei a ke manaʻo nei wau ma mua o ka maʻamau. Ua loaʻa iaʻu kekahi mau lā hauʻoli loa o koʻu ola, e lanakila ana i kahi makana ma ke kulanui a loaʻa ke kaikamahine maikaʻi.
Inā makemake wale ʻoe e hoʻomaikaʻi iā nofap me he mea ʻole paha ʻoe e loaʻa ʻole kēia hana. Loaʻa iā ʻoe maikaʻi ʻo ʻoukou a ʻānō kā au i ka hōʻike ʻo 1 makahiki. Ua paʻi wau i intermittently me kaʻoluʻolu e heluhelu i kaʻu mau mea ma mua.
LINK - ʻO koʻu mau lā 90, akā he nui mau moʻolelo
by haumana
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