Ke aloha Fapstronauts, no kēia mea kēia mea e hele ana ma o HOCD. Makemake wau e hoʻomaopopo iā ʻoe hiki iā ʻoe ke kuʻi iā ia, no ka mea ua hana wau. Aia wau ma kēia wahi no hoʻokahi makahiki a ua kīnā wau i ka hopena. Lōʻihi kēia mea, akā ʻike wau e ʻimi ana kekahi i nā pane i ka manawa e heluhelu ia ... a laila e hoʻokuʻu. E hele koke wau i kēlā.
ʻO ka mea mua, he wahi kāʻei kua. ʻAʻole wau i ʻike inā ua hoʻokolohua ʻia wau i ka mea a, pehea paha, akā he pēpē kāne kāne hou kaʻu i loko o kuʻu waha i ka makahiki 4 a ʻo ka ʻaoʻao ʻē aʻe. Hoʻomaopopo wau i ka noʻonoʻo he maikaʻi ʻole ke waiho ʻana iā ia i loko o kuʻu waha a ʻaʻole wau i noʻonoʻo ʻelua mau mea e pili ana a hiki i ka wā e puni mau ana wau i ke kaiāulu gay. ʻO kaʻu ipo wahine he "bi-sexual" no laila ua kamaʻilio ʻo ia e pili ana i ka moekolohe a ʻo kāna kaikunāne ke kāne ponoʻī. Pōkole ka lōʻihi o ka moʻolelo ua huhū wau no ka mea ua manaʻo wau, "maikaʻi, i kēia manawa pono wau e pale aku iaʻu iho i nā ʻaoʻao ʻelua o ke au." ʻO ka hopena ua loaʻa wau i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo ua hoʻokolohua ʻo ia me nā wahine a laila i kekahi lā, ua hele ka lolo. Ua hoʻomaka wau e noʻonoʻo, "he aha inā he kāne aloha wau a ʻaʻole ʻike ʻia." E like me kaʻu i maopopo ai ka hapanui oʻoukou me HOCD. Ke hele mau nei wau i koʻu ola a pau a hoʻomaka wau i ka PMO i ka makahiki 12. Ua hele maoli wau i porn no 6 mau hola + ma mua a hiki i kahi i hele ʻole ai au. ʻO ka porn hope loa i noʻonoʻo ai iaʻu, "OMG I MAY BE GAY," ʻo ia kekahi wahine Wahine Domination porn kahi kahi kāne e kiʻi iā ia me kahi kaula. A laila ua manaʻo wau, maikaʻi inā he wahine kāne wau, e nānā paha wau i ka porn pelekane, i kūleʻa ʻole no ka mea ʻaʻole e ala ana. A laila ua hele au i ka porn shemale i ka mea i hana iaʻu me ka maikaʻi ... i kēlā manawa. (E hele ana wau i kēia) ua makaʻu wau. Ua manaʻo ʻia paha he fetish pololei akā ua hoʻolei i kaʻu HOCD i ka hana piha. Ua huikau wau tbh.
I kēia manawa pono wau e wehewehe i kekahi mea. E hele ana wau i loko o kēia kuhi, kaumaha, hopohopo, OCD, a me kahi pilina maikaʻi ʻole. I kēia manawa ua ʻike pinepine wau i ka ʻaoʻao pouli o ke kaiāulu gay. ʻAʻole wau e hele i kahi kikoʻī no ka mea ʻaʻole wau ʻike i ka mea nāna e nānā i kēia papa. E ʻōlelo wale, ua hoʻomaka wau e hana i homophobic me he mea lā, kahi mea aʻu ʻole. ʻAʻole wau i makemake e lilo i homophobic, ua lilo wau i hopena o ka mea i hōʻike ʻia iaʻu. No laila ua hele wau e ʻike i kahi psychologist wahine. Ua wehewehe wau iā ia i nā mea a ua ʻōlelo ʻo ia i ka pane maʻamau aʻu i manaʻo ai, "palekana ʻole ʻoe i kāu moekolohe." E ʻae ʻoe iaʻu e haʻi iā ʻoukou i kekahi mea, ʻaʻohe kanaka kūpono a kāne paha, pono e ʻike i nā hana moekolohe i mua o lākou a ʻoluʻolu loa me ia, ʻaʻole maikaʻi ia no kekahi poʻe. Manawa. Ua kū wau i ka ʻike ʻana iā ia a ua ʻike wau e pono ana wau e ʻike iā ia iho. ʻO Malaki kēia o kēia makahiki.
Ua kaumaha loa wau. Ua lilo wau i ka hoihoi i nā kaikamahine, ua hopohopo wau e pili ana i nā kāne. Ua manaʻo wau makemake wau i nā kāne, akā maopopo iaʻu ua hewa kekahi mea. E hoʻopau kolo koʻu lolo i nā manaʻo male kāne a puni nā kāne. He mea ʻole ia ʻo wai ia, ʻo ia paha ke keikikāne maikaʻi loa ma ka honua a ʻo kaʻu lolo ka mea e hana ai. Ua nalowale koʻu pilina me kahi kaikamahine uʻi pū wau me ka hopena no ka mea huhū mau wau a i ʻole hiki ʻole iaʻu ke kia nui i kekahi mea akā ʻo kaʻu OCD. Ua loaʻa ʻē kekahi ʻano OCD ʻē aʻe akā ʻo kēia ka mea ʻoi loa.
A laila i kekahi lā ua hoʻoholo wau, e hoʻowalewale iā ia. Makemake au i ka lāʻau, lilo wau i suicidal, ʻaʻohe oʻu hoihoi i kekahi mea, a manaʻo wau ʻaʻohe oʻu kaohi hou. No laila ua lawe wau iā Celexa 20mg. ʻAʻole kōkua ia ma nā mea āpau ... ma ka mua. A laila i kekahi lā ua ala au a hiki i ka manaʻo hope loa. Ua ʻike wau ʻaʻole wau i puni iki i nā kāne, a ʻo ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ua hele wau i loko o kekahi mea traumatizing i koʻu wā ʻōpio a ua ʻike wau i nā hanana i koʻu ola e pili ana i nā kāne maikaʻi ʻole. Ua kapa mai koʻu makuakāne iaʻu iaʻu he fagot no ka mea e noho wau ma luna o nā hale o koʻu mau hoaaloha e kau pū ai. Ua kapa ʻia wau he wahine kāne a huhū i loko o koʻu ola a no ka mea ua komo wau i ka jeans wīwī a hoʻolohe ʻole iā Korn a i ʻole kahi shit. Moʻolelo 'oiaʻiʻo. Ua manaʻo kekahi o nā kaikamahine aʻu i makemake ai he wahine kāne wau no ka mea ua ʻaʻahu maikaʻi wau. "ʻIke nō i kahi kāne e mālama iā ia iho he kāne kāne, herp derp." No laila ua hele wau i waho. Ke hoʻomaka ka lolo me aʻu i nā manawa āpau. Inā wau e hana me kaʻu ipo wahine, manaʻo wau, "E ke kāne, eia kahi manaʻo no kahi kāne, makemake e omo moa?, Mmm wela loa ʻo ia." ʻO nā mea āpau aʻu e ʻike nei he wahaheʻe. I ka ʻoiaʻiʻo he ʻano hoʻomākeʻaka ia.
No laila ua loaʻa wau iā YBOP a hoʻomaka wau e heluhelu no ka hopohopo, ua loaʻa iaʻu ʻo Neurotic Planet, a ua heluhelu wau i kēlā me kēia haʻawina psychological e pili ana i ka moekolohe a e ʻae ʻoe iaʻu e haʻi iā ʻoe i kekahi mea. AOLE KOKUA. NO DIRECT TRANSLATION. Hoʻomau wale ʻoe i kou hopohopo i kēlā ala. Aia he ʻokoʻa nui ma waena o ka hopohopo a me ka ʻumeʻume. Ua kaʻawale wau mai ka pāpāho Liberal (Hiki iā ʻoe ke huhū inā makemake ʻoe akā hoʻolohe wale nō) no ka mea ke heluhelu wau i nā mea e pili ana i ka moekolohe a me nā mea ʻē aʻe, ua ʻōlelo wale nā poʻe āpau, "ʻo wai ka mea mālama i ke kanaka, e hoʻāʻo wale a ʻike inā makemake ʻoe. ʻo ka moekolohe kahi laha. etc. etc. ” E ʻae ʻoe iaʻu e haʻi iā ʻoe i kekahi mea, ʻaʻole ia he ʻoiaʻiʻo. E wehewehe wau, e hele e haʻi i kekahi kāne kāne ʻoiaʻiʻo e hele i ka wahine me nā wahine. He aha kā lākou pane? No. No ke aha? No ka mea makemake lākou i ke kāne. E hele e haʻi i kekahi kanaka pololei e hele i ka moekolohe me kahi kāne. ʻAʻole kā lākou pane no ka mea makemake lākou i ka wahine. Pēlā nō me nā wahine. Eia nō naʻe he wahine moe kolohe. Makemake lākou e moekolohe me nā mea ʻelua. ʻAʻohe ona pilina me ke kaiāulu. ʻAʻole i koi aku ka ʻahahui i kekahi e hana i kahi ala, e lawe iaʻu i kaʻu helu aʻe. Ua haʻi mai kaʻu mea lapaʻau hou iaʻu i kēia. ʻAʻole hiki i kekahi ke hoʻoikaika iā ʻoe e manaʻoʻiʻo i kekahi mea. I kona komo ʻana i loko, ʻike wau, ʻaʻole wau he kāne kāne, no ka nui o ka poʻe e makemake e hoʻāʻo iaʻu e haʻi mai iaʻu, a i ʻole hōʻole, a i ʻole he manaʻo wau no laila no laila, ua pololei wau, ʻo wau ʻume mau i ke ʻano wahine, makemake au i ke ʻano o ka wahine, a make wau e makemake ana i kēia. Pēlā nō no ka mea he kāne kāne. Inā he mea, ʻōlelo mai ke kaiāulu iaʻu e hele a noho pū me ka mea āu e makemake ai, e ke kāne a i ʻole ke kaikamahine, a he aloha wale. E haʻi wau iā ʻoe i kekahi mea. MAI. Noho wau i kahi mokuʻāina liberal a hana nui i nā mea āpau āu e makemake ai kahi ala o ke ola, akā no ka mea i loaʻa ka HOCD e hele a noho pū me nā dudes ʻaʻole ia e kōkua, makemake paha ʻoe iā ia a ʻike ʻoe i kahi pilikia pilikia ʻike pilikino. ʻAʻole wau e wahaheʻe, kokoke i hele koʻu lolo ma laila, akā ʻike mau wau i loko hohonu loa ʻaʻole wau i ʻike pēlā. He daimonio ʻo OCD o ka noʻonoʻo, akā hiki ke naʻi. E hoʻopau wau i kēia ma ka papa inoa ʻana i nā ala e kōkua ai iā ʻoukou e pili ʻia e kēia.
- Inā ʻoe i nānā aku iā Shemale porn / gay porn / bi-sex porn ʻae iā ia. Paʻa paʻakikī kēia e like me ka hilinaʻi ʻana o ka puʻuwai iaʻu, akā ke hana ʻoe, ʻoi aku ka maʻalahi o ka ʻike ʻana inā makemake ʻoe iā ia a ʻaʻole paha. Loaʻa paha ʻoe i kahi hoihoi? A i ʻole hana ʻino ʻia e ka ʻaoʻao ʻē, a i ʻole he manaʻo hāmama wale kou a makemake e ʻimi, akā pono ʻoe e ʻae i kāu mea i hana ai, ʻoiai ke kūʻē iā ʻoe iho.
- ʻAʻole kekahi, ʻaʻole kauka maʻi, ʻaʻole he hoaaloha, ʻaʻole ia he pūnaewele, hiki iā ʻoe ke haʻi iā ʻoe ʻo ʻoe. He mea koʻikoʻi kēia e hoʻomaopopo pono ai. Hoʻokumu ʻia kou lolo i nā mea e hoʻoweliweli iā ʻoe, e hoʻāʻo a mālama iā ʻoe i nā hana ʻana i kou ola. ʻIke i kēia hopohopo a ʻaʻole manaʻo maoli
- MAI hoʻolohe i kahi mea e ʻōlelo ana e hele ʻoe e hoʻāʻo i nā mea leʻaleʻa. He mea hoʻopaʻapaʻa paha kēia akā ʻaʻole au mālama. Inā pololei ʻoe i kou ola holoʻokoʻa, pololei pololei ʻoe, ʻaʻohe pono e hele i loko o kahi pilikia ʻike. E keʻakeʻa wale nō ia iā ʻoe, a like me ka poʻe i aloha maoli, makemake e hoʻāʻo a pololei. E hoʻopau ʻoe i ka inaina i kāu mau hoa a ʻaʻole ia na kekahi mea pololei a wahine maoli paha.
- Kāohi i ka ʻimi ʻana i nā pane ma ka pūnaewele. He aha ka manaʻo o kēia? Mai hele i nā kolamu, mai nānā iā HOCD, mai nīnau i kekahi mea kāne a pololei paha e pili ana. Waiho wale. Hoʻonui wale ʻoe i ka ʻino ma ka ʻimi ʻana i nā pane. Hilinaʻi iaʻu, makaʻu wau e loli mau ana wau. Ua makaʻu wau i kēlā, "OMG IM GOING TO BECOME GAY." A laila i kekahi lā, ua kū wau i ka hāʻawi ʻana i kahi kuʻi. Ua kū wau i ka heluhelu ʻana, ua kū wau i ka noʻonoʻo e pili ana iā ia a koho he aha, ua hoʻi mai koʻu hoihoi no nā wahine i ka ikaika a hiki iaʻu i kēia ʻike. ʻO ia ka mea e lawe iaʻu i kaʻu helu hope loa.
- He holoholona ka pīhoihoi. Hiki ke hoʻohuli ʻia naʻe. E hōʻoiaʻiʻo iā ʻoe i nā mea ʻoiaʻiʻo ʻole, akā pono ʻoe e ʻike he mea hoʻoulu ʻia nā mea āpau e ʻoe. ʻO ʻoe nō ke kumu. Hiki i nā kūlana ke puka hou aʻe akā aia ʻoe i ka kaohi. E ʻae ʻoe iaʻu e waiho iā ʻoe e like me kēia, ua hala kaʻu homophobia, hoʻi i ke ala aʻu e noʻonoʻo ai, ʻae, aia nā mea hoʻokalakupua i kēlā me kēia hui o ka poʻe, ʻaʻole ia he ʻano kekeʻe kēlā me kēia. ʻAno ʻino wau i nā wahine a maʻa mau. I kēia manawa he aha ka mea i koe? ʻO kaʻu hana kolohe ponokala. ʻO kēlā ka mea hope loa i koe. ʻO kaʻu ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo i ka poʻe e hele ana i kēia, e hoʻōki i ka porn. Kōkua ia, mai manaʻoʻiʻo i ka ʻōlelo a kekahi loea e pili ana i ka moekolohe, hilinaʻi iā ʻoe iho. Hoʻopiʻi kēlā i ka mana e kū pinepine i ka WAY ma reddit. E noho mamao aku mai reddit pū kekahi. Hāʻawi iā ʻoe iho i kahi manawa e noʻonoʻo a hoʻōla ai. He hiki nō paha. ʻAʻole hiki i kekahi ke haʻi iaʻu he kāne male wau i kēia manawa no ka mea e ʻakaʻaka wau i kaʻu hoki. Inā he mea, ua hoʻoikaika kēia iaʻu ma mua o ka wā ma mua. Hoʻomaopopo he ʻoi aku ka kōkua o ka OCD a me nā maʻi e pili ana i ka hopohopo ma mua o nā mea āpau.
TL: DR - Ua lanakila wau ma HOCD, ua maopopo iaʻu ka nui e pili ana i nā maʻi e pili ana i ka hopohopo, ʻaʻole hiki i ka mea ke haʻi iā ʻoe ʻo wai ʻoe a ʻo wai ʻoe e lilo ai. Aia he ʻokoʻa nui ma waena o ka hopohopo a me ka ʻumeʻume. E wehe kēia mau mea āpau i kahi mea hohonu aʻe ma mua o ka porn ponoʻī akā ʻike ʻoe ʻaʻole hiki ke morph i kahi mea ʻaʻole ʻoe, ʻoiai inā ʻoe e hana, aia ʻoe i ka makaʻu no ka pilikia ʻike. He mea maʻalahi ia, inā he kāne ʻoe, he kāne male ʻoe, inā pololei ʻoe, pololei ʻoe. E hoʻopau loa wau i kēia moʻokāki akā e hiki ana wau ma ʻaneʻi i kekahi mau lā e pane i nā nīnau i loaʻa i kekahi. Makemake wau e kōkua i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, no ka mea ʻike wau i ke ʻano o kēia a pono i kēlā me kēia mea ke kōkua inā loaʻa kahi pilikia.
LINK - HOCD, I kahiki ia ʻoe. ʻO kēia no nā mea e noi ana i ke kōkua. E papa inoa ma ka lalo no ke kōkua.
by trowaway456
KOMOHE O ORIGINAL POSTER:
Ua hoʻohana wau i ka google HOCD i kēlā me kēia lā, akā ua nui ka huikau e kū ai. Mai nānā i nā wehewehe o ka moekolohe a i ʻole hilinaʻi paha i nā mea āu e heluhelu ai e pili ana i ka moekolohe. Ua hana maoli wau i nā mea āpau āu e pono ʻole ai e hana. I ka manawa, hiki iā ʻoe ke heluhelu i nā moʻolelo e puka mai ana a hoʻomaopopo ʻo ia nō ʻaʻole ʻo ʻoe. ʻAʻole ʻoe ma laila. ʻO ʻoe ma hea wau i 6 mau mahina i hala aku nei. ʻAe, lōʻihi ka lōʻihi o ka hala ʻana o ka manawa, ʻaʻole wau e wahaheʻe iā ʻoe. E hoʻomanaʻo i hoʻokahi mea, ʻaʻole ia he hōʻole! ʻO ia ka mea paʻakikī iaʻu e hoʻomaopopo. Inā makemake ʻoe i nā kaikamahine, noho me nā kaikamahine, a noʻonoʻo wale e pili ana i nā kaikamahine. Pēlā mau nō ia. I kēia manawa no ke aha e TRICKY ʻo OCD. Aia ʻoe i ka lolo i kahi wahi ʻano ʻē a ʻaʻole e kinai pololei kāu mau hōʻailona. ʻAe ʻoe e ʻae he kāne kāne paha ʻoe. Pupule paha kēlā i ka pupule, ʻike wau, akā ʻaʻole. ʻO ka lōʻihi o kou kali ʻana e hana i kekahi mea e pili ana i ia mea ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi. E manaʻoʻiʻo iaʻu. E hāpai i kēlā puke a wehewehe i kāu mea hoʻoponopono i ka mea e hana nei. Inā haʻi lākou iā ʻoe he kāne kāne paha ʻoe, e nīnau iā ʻoe iho inā ʻo ia ka mea āu e makemake ai. Inā ʻaʻole, e ʻimi i kahi mea lapaʻau nāna e ʻike e pili ana iā OCD. Mai kiʻi pū i ka mea hoʻoponopono e hōʻoia mau iā ʻoe. ʻAʻole kōkua kēlā. Ma hea wau i kēia manawa, ʻaʻole nalowale 100% akā maikaʻi loa ka pili. Hiki iaʻu ke nānā pono i ke ola.
PĀHAI:
kākau maikaʻi - He kāne aloha wau (maikaʻi, 80/20 male / bi) a mahalo wau i kou mau manaʻo a me ka ʻoiaʻiʻo āu e kākau ai. E kānalua i ka mea a haʻi e haʻi aku ai iā ʻoe e pili ana iā ʻoe - e lawe no ka mea kūpono - ka manaʻo o haʻi - ʻaʻole ka ʻoiaʻiʻo.
Mahalo e ke kāne, mahalo wau i kēlā. He mea nui ia e hoʻomaopopo nei ʻoe. ʻO ka mea ʻaʻole loaʻa ka poʻe i pilikia ʻole e like me kēia. Makemake wau e kōkua i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe i ka pilikia like i kahi ʻano aʻu e koho nei. He mea maikaʻi e ʻoluʻolu i kou ʻili ponoʻī a manaʻo wau e like me aʻu iho. I kekahi lā ke pau ka mālama ʻana o ke kaiāulu i ka moekolohe, hiki iā mākou ke nānā pono i nā mea nui. He naʻaupō wau no ka nānā nui ʻana iā ia akā ʻo ia ke ʻano o ka holoholona. He naʻaupō maoli ʻo OCD.
;