Laj 33 - DE, enkyetid sosyal, pwòp tèt ou-rayi ale, renmen lavi yo

Mwen te konplete defi 90 jou a! Èske mwen te aprann sou tèt mwen ak vin yon pi bon gason nan eksperyans sa a? Wi, men se pa pou rezon mwen te panse. Kite m eksplike. Mwen gen 33, epi mwen te yon adikte PMO pou plis pase yon deseni.

Tankou anpil moun isit la, mwen te grandi ak entènèt la, epi mwen te "tip pirate" mwen te kaptive ak newsgroups, tablo bbs anba tè, 4Chan (anvan li te netwaye), TOR ak lòt sèvis ki pa endikap kote kontni ki pa reglemante te fasil. vini. Abitid gade mwen yo te vin pi fetichize, nan pwen ke yon fanm toutouni pa te eksite m 'ankò - li te pran yon valè ekstrèm chòk pou debarase m'. Apre yon sesyon PMO mwen ta retounen nan sans mwen epi mwen ta degoute ak tèt mwen. Mwen ta panse "Mwen pa ta janm vle fè kalite sèks sa a nan lavi reyèl, poukisa se sa a mwen DWE itilize yo soti? Èske mwen domaje?"

Pandan dejwe mwen, lavi m 'te yon koki yon moun. Mwen te viv poukont mwen pou plizyè ane, kidonk PMO te abitye chak swa anvan kabann. Li te kòm "natirèl" kòm pran yon kaka - koupab mwen te santi lè mwen te pi piti yo te ranplase pa yon sèten satisfaksyon ke mwen te yon nonm viril ki te kapab vin difisil sou lòd. Men, se te tout ego, e an reyalite mwen te mantalman domaje nan ane mwen nan gade imaj twoublan - yon bagay mwen pa t 'vle admèt tèt mwen oswa lòt moun - menm nan yon fowòm anonim sou entènèt tankou NoFap. Mwen te detache ak fanmi ak zanmi, mwen te santi mwen te nan mond sa a poukont mwen. Mwen t ap viv ak depresyon, ak Fapping te sèlman ranje dopamine mwen.

Mwen te santi m pa diy pou yon konpayon fi, mwen te pè an kachèt ke pa gen okenn fanm, kèlkeswa jan dous oswa bon, pa t kapab akonpli dezi devye m yo. Mwen pa t 'merite yon "bon ti fi" olye mwen te reziye tèt mwen pou toujou jwe Knight blan an ki "sove ti fi boulvèse a" - ak gen anpil kout tèm (echwe) relasyon yo montre pou efò mwen yo. Adikte nan doulè mantal yo gen tandans chèche tankou konpayi. Mwen paske sosyalman gòch ak enkyetid te blese kèk relasyon sosyal mwen te kenbe sou yo. Se lè sa a mwen te fè lide: sa a se PA moun mwen ye.

Mwen te bezwen jwenn yon lòt fason pou m viv lavi, e kòm yon itilizatè grangou nan Reddit mwen te okouran de NoFap, men mwen te panse li enbesil ke abstenn nan PMO ta mennen nan chanjman lavi reyèl. Sepandan, mwen idantifye panse negatif mwen sou tèt mwen ki soti nan itilizasyon PMO mwen an, se konsa deside eseye NoFap kòm yon pati nan pwosesis travay sou tèt mwen. Ti gason mwen te sezi...

Lè mwen deside reyèlman abstrenn premye jou yo te lanfè. Voye boul mwen yo literalman boule pandan yo te fè mal pou yo lage. Mwen te oblije dòmi sou do mwen paske menm yon ti manyen te douloure fizikman. Te gen yon anvi konstan e mwen te Moody pou premye semèn nan - yon bagay ki konvenk mwen menm plis ke sa a se rezilta nan dopamine yo te refize nan kò a. Mwen te fè li nan 32 jou ak premye tantativ mwen an. Nan peryòd sa a mwen te remake anpil nan "gwo pouvwa" lòt moun mansyone nan sub sa a. Mwen te fè yon repitasyon kèk fwa apre sa nan apeprè 1 semèn, men fwa sa a mwen fyè pou m prezante tèt mwen pou kòmansman seremoni 90 jou a. Apre premye semèn yo, li vin pi fasil pou abstrenn. Pwen ke: pa janm bay moute - sa a se pa yon defi fasil .... Men, li tèlman vo li!

"Pwisans" mwen te fè eksperyans pou tèt mwen:

  • Enkyetid sosyal ale - Anvan NoFap mwen te sou wout pou l jwenn Xanax oswa lòt medikaman pou ede m vin pi sosyal. Mwen ta "kache" nan kay la pandan wikenn nan sou PMO binges. Lè m ta soti, mwen te santi tankou tout moun te konnen sekrè mwen an e an kachèt jis te vle rete poukont mwen. Kounye a? Mwen tounen nan ansyen fason sosyal mwen yo - fè blag ak mete ansanm vwayaj nan plaj la / sinema / danse / elatriye ak zanmi - yon vire 180 soti nan kèk mwa de sa.
  • Plis konfyans - Anvan mwen ta evite bay opinyon mwen nan ka li ofanse yon moun pa aksidan. Mwen pa t ap di laverite nan entèraksyon mwen ak moun paske mwen ta toujou dakò ak yo pou fè yo renmen mwen. Kounye a? Mwen mache avèk konfyans kote, kontak zye ak tou de gason ak fanm, vwa pi fon ak yon fasilite nan aksyon chak jou mwen. Kounye a mwen santi mwen kòmsi opinyon mwen ak aksyon mwen enpòtan / enpòtan (oswa plis konsa) pase nenpòt lòt moun - konfyans mwen nan tèt mwen se kontrèman ak li te genyen nan ane sa yo.
  • Relasyon an sante - Mwen se yon bon nèg epi mwen fè bon lajan, men mwen ta toujou fini nan relasyon malsen kote mwen te tankou yon beta. Mwen menm te konsidere kòm bouzen jis pou jwenn satisfaksyon fizik mwen san tout dezòd nan yon relasyon (ki mwen te santi m pa diy pou yo genyen de tout fason). Kounye a? Apre apeprè 3 mwa nan NoFap (mwen reset kèk fwa nan premye mwa yo) mwen te rankontre yon ti fi nan yon apre-pati. Lè m 'te rankontre l' badj mwen an te nan jou 2 - men mwen deside ke li te vo efò mwen an kraze abitid sa a enfim. Tan an mwen ta nòmalman pase chèche pònografi Lè sa a, PMO mwen olye mwen te konn date fi sa a. Kounye a 90 jou apre li abite avè m epi n ap pale de maryaj/timoun.
  • Andirans seksyèl - Soti nan ane PMO mwen te enkonsyaman dezòd ankouraje natirèl seksyèl ki pèmèt lsiy nòmal pandan sèks. Mwen te kapab vin difisil men te gen DE (ejakulasyon reta) nan pwen kote mwen te wont fè sèks kòm mwen pa ta ka kom ak yon fanm. Kounye a? Se te yon tranzisyon difisil pou gen yon mennaj ki fiks, men li te renmen ak pasyans avè m - yon bagay ke mwen pa ak tèt mwen. DE mwen an pi bon anpil, ak teknik yo pou reta yo kounye a se itilize pou fè lsiyis li plizyè fwa. Dezi seksyèl mwen pent moute kounye a gen yon priz ki valab epi li santi l soooooo bon yo dwe bèt seksyèl ke mwen te fèt san santiman kilpabilite apre sa.
  • Panse ki an sante - Mwen ta rayi tèt mwen. Mwen ta minimize tèt mwen nan panse. Mwen konsidere swisid. Mwen ta swete mwen ka dòmi pou tout tan. Kounye a? Mwen renmen lavi. Se egzak menm lavi (menm travay, menm machin, menm pwoblèm) poutan moun ki nan lavi m ak nouvo sikonstans yo fè m eksite pou m reveye. Depresyon se yon bagay terib ak lide ou reyèlman kreye reyalite ou. Espri an sante = lavi an sante. Lide malsen = lavi malsen.

*TL/DR: NoFap chanje fason mwen wè tèt mwen. Li te ban mwen yon bagay mwen fyè de. Li te anseye m oto-disiplin. Li fè m 'pi bon pase mwen te anvan. *

Mèsi tout pou pòs ou yo nan sub-reddit sa a, li santi bon pou konnen ke mwen pa poukont mwen. Lavi reyèlman vin pi bon san PMO, epi yon jou ou pral konprann / kwè poukisa mwen di sa (menm si ou pa santi ou konsa ou menm kounye a). Mwen espere ke mwen ka enspire omwen yon moun kenbe defi a epi chanje lavi yo - menm jan mwen te enspire lè mwen te pare pou chanje.

90 jou pou yon lavi miyò! Istwa mwen nan lit ak triyonf sou yon deseni PMO abi pwòp tèt ou 

by riz 90 jou

MIZAJOU 180 JOU

Bonjou parèy travayè yo, mwen te vle bay yon mizajou sou "nouvo nòmal" mwen an ansanm ak kèk mo ankourajman pou moun ki nan vwayaj sa a pou amelyore tèt yo. Jodi a se 180yèm jou mwen pou m evite PMO. Mwen gen 33 ane epi lè mwen gade dèyè abitid pònografi mwen sot pase a mwen wont pou konbyen tan mwen te pèdi.<--break->” src=”https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/spacer.gif” title=”<--break-->“></p><p>PMO was a habit for me, one where I would spend 2 to 4 hours a night searching for “just the right video” that was bizarre or degrading enough for my mind to feel satisfied. Like any habit the amount and intensity of the required material escalated to unhealthy levels. I was a slave to my mind. I rationalized away my self-destructive behavior, excusing myself again and again, all while feeling weak to my own urges. I viewed women as sexual beings only, and secretly hated myself and felt unworthy of love. If this is also your story fellow Fapstronaught… take heed: there is hope.</p><p>After finding out about NoFap (from 4chan of all places) I read up and watched the Your Brain On Porn videos. I then understood that part of my problem was willpower… the other part was addiction. When I understood my behavior as an addiction like any other (to cigarettes, drugs, etc) I resolved to take control of my life and wrestle my mind free from its addicted state.</p><p>It was not easy at first. I had physical pains and withdrawal symptoms in the fist week. There was a literal burning sensation in my groin that wanted release. I stuck with it. I relapsed a few times but now, after relapsing I understood that it was like a smoker wanting for “one more cigarette” – and I forgave myself. I saw my body as acting separate from my true desire and made peace with myself that although the flesh is week, my spirit was willing. I did not give up, and neither should you.</p><p>I started on “hard mode” (no gf) but after a few weeks I met this new and amazing girl who will become my wife in a few months (we are engaged!). It was difficult to transition into a relationship as years of self abuse using porn had desensitized me sexually with DE as well as mentally. There was a period of resetting to my “new normal” which is what I now live everyday. Here are some things I now enjoy that I did not before:</p><ul><li>Improved mental clarity – there is a mental fog that used to follow me around blurring and dulling my sight and other senses. I feel more alert and sensitive to the world now.</li><li>More productive time – I used to have a routine of coming home from work, eating food then spending the rest of the night torrenting porn or searching for the “right video” to get me off. Now, I have my fiancee with me in the evenings to talk to, to cook together, to play with the dog, to enjoy our time instead of waste it.</li><li>Self esteem – I used to avoid social situations and even going out with friends as my anxiety worsened. This social anxiety was rooted in feelings of unworthiness. I did not feel I had anything useful to contribute to conversations and my presence was a burden to others. Not anymore. I speak from my heart and am bold in my actions – I have re-discovered the man I was years ago.</li><li>More in control of emotions and life – Before I would feel like I had little control of my daily life and that my insular routine was keeping me “safe” – in fact my sheltered existence was wasting my life away in a daily grind that only served to fulfill my base animal desires (eat, sex, sleep). I have broken that cycle and you can too. Through meditation I now have more control over how I think and feel and use that control to choose positive things to dwell on. You are your own worst critic… learn to forgive yourself. Learn to love yourself… weaknesses and all.</li></ul><p>I hope others in this sub reddit stay on course and benefit themselves the way I did. I used NoFap as a starting point to bettering myself and my life. I have leaned that no one is a lost cause and we are all able to be better people. NoFap gives you a sense of self-pride which will carry over into other aspects of your daily life. Other people will notice a difference in your posture, attitude, mood and energy level.</p><p>My “success story” is just one of many. This 90 day challenge is a beneficial teaching tool – it teaches you about yourself. Learn your body. Learn your mind. When you do, you will figure out how to “hack your brain” and divert your negative energy into something more useful. Do it for yourself. Do it for others that are important in your life. You are worth it.</p><p>Peace.</p><p><strong>LINK – <a href=90 jou double = 180 jou ap viv yon nouvo lavi (pwòp tèt ou.NoFap)

by riz