Humor/Confessions: You just might be a PMO addict if:
All of the following are from my own personal experiences, in no particular order. Hopefully some of these will resonate with fellow NoFappers.
You just might be a PMO addict if:
- You have fapped at work, during business hours.
- You have stolen lotion off a coworkers desk while working late.
- You have ever watched porn in a public place, where you think nobody can see, but worried that the reflection in your glasses would give you away.
- You have fapped at a rest stop on the interstate.
- You have fapped while driving, but kept your eyes open during the orgasm so you wouldnt kill yourself or anybody else.
- You have fapped while camping, and hoped the smell doesn't attract wildlife
- You have fapped in an airport bathroom, and saw what looked like semen stains on the walls of the stall, and felt relief instead of disgust.
- You have fapped in an airplane bathroom and joined the mile-high fappers club.
- You have fapped in a porta potty.
- You have fapped in a nasty porta potty at a festival, high on something.
- When you try a new drug, you want to see what fapping on that drug is like
- You have fallen asleep fapping, because you were too drunk to be able to climax, but kept going until you passed out.
- You have ever fapped so many times in one day as to shoot blanks.
- You have ever needed to wait for skin to heal that was injured from overzelous fapping.
- You have taken a call while fapping, only to split your attention between the porn and the conversation.
- You have missed deadlines and blown off freelance work because of fapping.
- You have risked serious discipline consequences for your entire platoon by fapping in the stairwell of the fire exit while in Army basic training.
- You have had female roommates move out of your house because they found you fapping in the living room on your computer after you figured everybody was in bed.
- You have had to wash off your privates because of a failed lube experiment.
- 98% of the lotion you have ever owned has gone on your hand and penis.
- You can rank the oils in your kitchen by their lubricating effectiveness.
- You have ever had to slip out of a real sexual encounter to "go to the bathroom" to find some porn to help with an ED episode.
- You have ever lived with a significant other, and you fap considerably more than you have sex.
- You have purchased bootleg xxx dvd's off of street vendors in third world countries because the bandwidth sucked.
- You have ever done a porn soundcheck by stepping outside to see if anybody can hear it on your lowest speaker setting, because wearing headphones would make it hard to hear somebody walking in on you.
- You have installed porn filters and subsequently circumvented/hacked your way around them.
- You have used browsing proxies to get around somebody elses filters.
- You know exactly how to clear all trace of your browsing history and habits.
- You can't remember how many times you have deleted your entire collection with the intention of quitting.
- You have ever sifted through your trash can and undeleted porn because you knew you hadn't hit "empty trash" button yet.
- Whenever you have purchased a newer, bigger monitor and the first thing you want to see on it is how porn looks on it.
- You have downloaded porn to your smartphone for portable fapping on the go.
- You haven't been able to quit, even though you've wanted to for years
TL;DR: 33 examples of how far I've taken fapping.