I did 90 days, but I'm back to start again
OK I recently made the 90 days. I made this whole thing in hard mode ( no sex, nofap, ....). My focus at the end was really awesome I felt energized and only had cravings for porn very irregularly. I got so much more aroused by seeing beautiful women than before. But after the 90 days I wanted to try out fapping again, because I thought fapping in general, if it is done not more than one time a week would be no problem. I wanted to do it one time and without porn. Now I'm sitting here after fapping 3 times this day to hardcore porn... Yeah that escalated quickly. And I know that it will be fucking hard to fight the urges tomorrow. I don't think my progress is back at day one, because that's not the way our brain works. But I definitely can't go to fapping addiction again, I fought it the whole fucking year and I can't go back to zero in a few weeks. I feel my mojo, that was so high throughout the 90 day period, is totally gone. I feel exhausted now and beaten to the ground.
The lesson I take out of this is, that I probably will never have a healthy relationship to masturbation again. It was like, nothing changed as i fapped: Same shitty porn and not stopping after doing it once. It's like being an alcoholic: You are clean for a year, but then you drink one beer and become an alcoholic again. I reset my badge and start on day one again.
To all that guys that think about fapping after the 90 days again: Think twice, especially the guys that had hard masturbation problems in the past ( I fapped up to 8 times a day). Your brain might be so used to masturbation that it will take a really long time to rewire, or will never fully rewire. I'm not a brain expert, but I wanted to share my story and opinion. Wish you the best !
LINK - 90 days and back to start...