I was so close to going back on meds. Then Nofap cured my depression.
I had depression and been on antidepressants from age 10-20. In and out of therapy, psych wards, etc. After I recovered from drug addiction 4 years ago, I went back on antidepressants on a (outrageous) dose.
I've always been a healthy guy so don't like taking pharmaceuticals. It took me a year, but I weaned myself off of Lexapro and have been free ever since. Recently, I had been having anxiety and panic attacks at work (I work very closely with people). I would have seasons where I was very awkward, and things just didn't feel right in my brain.
I went to the doc, got a first round of antidepressants, and filled the prescription. But I didn't take them yet. About a month after the doc visit, I started nofap. And I had forgotten about the antidepressants I had purchased until today.
Today I'm realizing that I am ALOT more balanced than I ever was. I have less panic attacks because I meditate. and pray morning and night. I have less stress and more dopamine because I go to the gym 3 times a week. And I supplement using natural herbs like ginseng and maca powder.
I believe that our bodies were meant to heal and take care of themselves. By rebooting and resetting my dopamine and stress response mechanisms, nofap has allowed my body to become it's own anti-anxiety, anti-depressant, etc.
I work as a greeter at my church. Today, I helped this one girl find a seat. Upon first glance, I noticed something deeper about her. Sure she was a blonde, but I didn't scan her up and down before I made a judgement all on her. With her, there was a twinkle in her eye, a warm smile on her face, and what I felt as a connection between us. I didn't need to "qualify" her on her looks to know that I liked her today. I genuinely felt a feeling of connection between us. And that was just through a simple eye-to-eye "Good Morning" with a smile!
60 days ago I was obsessed with objectifying women, puffing myself up in pride, and being the "bigger man" with a closet ED problem. I was able to keep all girls at a safe distance by objectifying them in my mind and Ming to them later. I was AFRAID of connection with women because I had issues with BEING MYSELF. It was much safer to hide and have sex with myself rather than open my heart to connection.
By the grace of God, today I could appreciate the subtlety of this woman's warm spirit, great energy and amazing heart. I glanced over at her a couple times throughout the service - she was singing and dancing freely, very passionate and beautiful.
One of our mutual friends is going to try and put in a good word for me, but if nothing else I am just so overwhelmed by my capacity to feel love again - just thinking about the hope of