Amalitere m ịghọta na enwere m nsogbu na ịkwa iko na ịpị onwe ya agụụ ihe dị ka afọ abụọ gara aga (afọ 19), mgbe m chọpụtara na enweghị m ike iso nwa agbọghọ ahụ mụ na ya na-akpa n'oge ahụ nwee mmekọahụ. Ọ bụ ezie na ọ mara mma, m ga-eche n'echiche banyere porn, mana ọbụlagodi nke ahụ abụghị nkwa. N'ime oge a, eji egwu egwu m na-eche na ị ga-enwe ọtụtụ ụdị egwu egwu, na-esi na 'mgbe niile' na-egwu porn na BDSM na n'ikpeazụ ka nwoke nwere mmasị nwoke / transsexual porn.
For the last two years I masturbated almost exclusively to extreme porn, and even occasionally gay porn. I masturbated compulsively, from a minimum of 2 times a day up to 5 or 6 times a day. Long story short, I had a really big problem. I found myself attracted to women mentally but physically my body did not respond to what I had found most arousing my entire life. This ended up being a source of extreme confusion and angst for me – was I actually gay? Why was I mentally attracted to women but unable to respond to anything but transsexual and gay porn?
Ike gwụrụ m mgbe niile, enweghịkwa m mmasị iso ndị enyi na-akpa ma ọ bụ iso ndị enyi na-akpa. Ọ na-esiri m ike ile ndị mmadụ anya na ndụ m niile kwa ụbọchị, enwere m oke ihere nke m na-enweghị ike ịkọwa. N'ime obi m maara na ihe agbanweela na afọ ole na ole gara aga nke ndụ m, mana amaghị m ihe (egosi: Ana m eme ugbu a). Ọ dị m ka ọ dị m ndụ n'ahụ m.
N'ihi ọchịchọ ịmata ihe, ekpebiri m ịnwale n'oge ezumike n'oge ọkọchị. Ekwenyesighi m na ọ ga-arụ ọrụ, mana echere m na ọ bụrụ na e nye ọtụtụ akụkọ akụkọ ziri ezi, ọ bara uru ịgba, na agaghị m atụfu ihe ma ọ bụrụ na ọ nweghị ihe ọ bụla. Nke mbụ m mere ụbọchị 3, mgbe ahụ 7, mgbe ahụ 14, mgbe ahụ 30, na n'ikpeazụ 60, na ka m gwa gị - ihe nnukwu ọdịiche ọ bụla mere na ndụ m. Ugbu a, n'oge a, m kwesịrị ịkọwapụta: Echeghị m na m gafere usoro ịmegharịrị, enwere m ike ịnọ ogologo ụzọ site na "zuru" reboot. Ma, enwere m ụfọdụ nnukwu mgbanwe ná ndụ m.
Enwere m obi ike na ọnọdụ mmekọrịta mmadụ. Adịkwaghị m enwe ihere a na-apụghị ịkọwa akọwa mgbe mụ na ndị mmadụ na-emekọrịta ihe. Anọgidere m na-ele anya ma na-ekwu okwu (ọtụtụ oge) na obi ike. M tụkwasịrị onwe m obi ma mara na m bụ onye nwere ọnụ ahịa na uru na ike, ndị ọzọ na-ahụkwa ya. Womenmụ nwanyị ndị ọzọ na-ele m anya n'ihu, ọnụ ọgụgụ a na-enwetụbeghị ụdị ya na-amụmụrụ m ọnụ ọchị mgbe m na-agafe.
M na-elekwasị anya karị, ebe nchekwa m dị mma, m na-enwekwa mmetụta dị ike karị. Otú ọ dị, ọ dị m ka ọ na-enwewanye nkwarụ na ọnọdụ m. Ihe na-adakarị mma ma mgbe ụfọdụ, m na-aga site na usoro ebe m na-eme ka ọ dị m, na-enwe nkụda mmụọ, ma na-agbapụta ruo ụbọchị ole na ole, emesịkwa m lọghachi na nkịtị. Ma m na-abịa mgbe niile site na mmetụta ndị a dị mma karịa ka m mere na mbụ.
N'agbanyeghị nke ahụ, ọ bụ ezie na m na-enwe ugbu a ụtụtụ ụtụtụ na oge ụfọdụ na-enweghị atụ, enweghị m ike ile anya nwanyị mara mma ma rute n'ogo agụụ. Ma m na-eru ebe ahụ. Ndị m gaara achọta naanị "mma" mara mma na-adọrọ mmasị ugbu a, ana m enwe ekele ma na-ahụ ihe dị iche iche na ụmụ nwanyị. Ọzọkwa, anaghịzi m ele ụmụ nwanyị anya dị ka otu anụ ma ọ bụ ihe mmekọ nwoke na nwanyị (ikekwe otu uru kasịnụ na akwụkwọ m).
I don’t think that all of these changes are directly caused by nofap. I have made many changes to my lifestyle during the last 60 days, such as waking up early every morning, exercising several times a week, eating a healthier diet, cold showers, and seeing a therapist. But nofap is really good at laying everything bare for you to see and react to.
When you can’t hide and numb yourself with PMO you begin to question a lot of norms and habits you have in place. Suddenly it doesn’t make so much sense to try to appeal so hard to women or avoid harm in social situations. It makes more sense to rely on the person who I am, who I have become, and who I am becoming. I am the most important person in my life and I have begun to give myself the respect (and healthy criticism) I deserve.
Do yourself a favor. Any significant change will require a certain amount of blind or nearly blind faith on your part, and that’s what sometimes makes improvement so difficult. Trust what you read here and what you read on other nofap friendly sites on the web and just give it an honest, good shot.
njikọ - Ụbọchị iri isii na-eme nnukwu mgbanwe.
by blehhhhhh_hh
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