No 30 Joer PMO - Ech hunn eng Erhiewung beim Geschlechtsverhalen fir d'éischt Kéier a mengem Liewen behalen

82 Deeg ass eng komesch Zuel fir iwwer ze posten, awer ech hunn haut e grousse Meilesteen erreecht. Schnell Hannergrond. Ech sinn gescheed an hat meng éischt Frëndin bestuet (an éischte Sexualpartner). Dat huet iwwer e Jorzéngt gedauert an ech schummen mech zouzeginn datt PMO verursaacht huet datt ech bal kee Sexliewen hunn.

D'Scheedung war net eleng wéinst PMO awer ech kann Iech soen datt eng Bezéiung ouni Sexliewen eng schlecht Relatioun ass, Period.

No der Scheedung geléist Ech sinn duerch vill Ännerungen, dorënner vill Gewiicht verléieren, meng Aarbecht änneren, Auto, Haltung, alles. Awer ech hunn de PMO net geännert, och wann e Bestietnesberoder mir richteg gesot huet datt ech un Porno süchteg sinn (ech hu just de Grond net gesinn fir opzehalen - ech hat kee GF an et war sou tréischtend).

Schnell no vir e Joer no der Scheedung an ech treffen e schéint suergfälteg Meedchen an Dir kënnt d'Geschicht scho roden - ech konnt et net ophalen. A grad wéi a mengem Bestietnes hunn ech ugefaang ze denken hey, ech si just gebrach an dëst Meedchen muss mat der Tatsaach liewen datt ech e super Frënd sinn Ausser fir de Sex.

Si war ganz ënnerstëtzend a sot, mir géifen meng Themen "duerch" schaffen - an dat huet mech wierklech iwwerdenken wat mäi Problem war. A well ech eng Virschau kritt hunn wat de Problem viru bal engem Joer war, hunn ech ugefaang doriwwer ze liesen, hunn dëse Forum, YBOP, an aner Siten fonnt. An enges Daags wéi ech an der Vakanz war an amplaz dobausse ze goen, wollt ech Porno op mengem Laptop kucken a mech selwer freeën, et huet mech geschloen - dëst war de Problem. Ech hu misse stoppen.

Deen Dag war virun 82 Deeg an ech sinn houfreg ze soen datt ech perfekt war ouni Masturbatioun a keen Orgasmus. Ech sinn net esou houfreg ze soen datt ech all puer Deeg op Porn zréckzéien wéi et schéngt - normalerweis just e puer Minutten Bikini / mëllen Kär awer ech weess datt et ëmmer nach falsch ass. Dëst ass d'Schluecht déi ech nach kämpfen.

Wéi och ëmmer, op d'mannst fir mech, schéngt et datt nofap de Kär vun der Léisung ass, well de Problem deen ech hat war Desensibiliséierung wéinst Doudesgrip - ech hu näischt vu PIV oder BJ oder soss eppes wéi meng Hand gefillt. Andeems ech meng Hand komplett eliminéieren kann ech lues (ganz lues, awer sécher) erëm fillen.

Ongeféier 45 Deeg an ech konnt definitiv fillen datt de PIED fortgeet, awer et war ëmmer nach net perfekt. Ech sot mengem GF iwwer mäi Problem dann, déi aner Saach fir Debatt hei ass; op d'mannst a menger Situatioun war et ganz hëllefräich hir ze soen sou datt si d'Saachen versteet déi se maache muss fir mir ze hëllefen besser ze ginn.

A fir an d'Luucht um Enn vum Tunnel ze kommen - dat ass hoffentlech just dat ÉISCHT Luucht - de Moien konnt ech et während der PIV esou fir d'éischte Kéier a mengem Liewen halen (an ech sinn a menger spéiden 30er Joren) ) Ech hunn engem Meedchen en Orgasmus just dovunner ginn. Ech hunn och vill méi gefillt (natierlech well ech konnt erakommen a weidergoen) awer ech hunn nach ëmmer e Wee ze goen ier ech komplett nei gestart ginn.

Also jo, dëst ass e bësse vun engem Brag Post, awer ech hunn d'Brag Posts vun anere Leit gär gelies, well hiren Erfolleg huet mir Hoffnung op mäi Succès ginn. Ech hunn nach e Wee ze goen, awer wann ech d'Punkte vu menger Rees resuméiere kann:

  • Laang Zäit PMO Sucht datt e Bestietnes vu bannen duerch verrotten léisst
  • Endlech meng Sucht virun ongeféier dräi Méint konfrontéiert a war 100% gutt op nofap (kee Rand oder Masturbatioun) awer net sou super op Porno (ganz reduzéiert, awer net pornofräi)
  • Gedeelt all Detailer mat neier Frëndin. Also ech sinn op 'einfach' Modus rewiring zur selwechter Zäit wéi de Restart.
  • Vill reduzéiert PIED (ersat duerch e bësse Leeschtungsangst) ongeféier 45 Deeg an
  • Konnt PIV 82 Deeg fäerdeg maachen
  • War iwwer 90 Deeg ouni mäin eegenen Orgasmus, an ech wäert net explodéieren - also et ass net néideg fir all Kärelen

tl;dr PMO Sucht deen ni konnt PIV fäerdeg ze maachen konnt no 82 Deeg NOFAP maachen. Neistart ass definitiv net komplett awer ganz amgaang a wäert d'Affer gemaach ginn

LINK - 82 Deeg Post - et gëtt e Liicht um Enn vum Tunnel!

by nach eng aner 1

 

UPDATE - No bal véier Méint fänken ech normal ze ginn

Mäi véier Méint nofap Anniversaire ass virun e puer Deeg. Et ass genee ee Mount nodeems ech meng aktuell Frëndin kennegeléiert hunn, déi de Stréi war deen d'Kamelen zréck op mech gebrach huet endlech de PMO Zyklus ze briechen. Si war sou séiss a Versteesdemech an ech wollt hatt sou schlecht mee konnt net Leeschtung an fir d'éischte Kéier a mengem Liewen sot ech besser gin wëll, net nëmme fir hir, mä fir mech. An dunn hunn ech gelies, gelies, gelies an hunn decidéiert de Programm ze ënnerhuelen.

<--break->” src=”https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/spacer.gif” title=”<--break-->“>It has not been without its bumps. I’ve been completely free of fap — no edging, no masturbation — but not pornfree. I’ve learned that its not because I am not satisfied looking at my girl, but its because of the novelty of seeing something new.</p><p>My main symptom was terrible PIED; while I was married for over a decade (to my first girlfriend and only sexual partner ever) I can’t say I ever successfully had PIV sex. I just assumed I was ‘broken’ at sex and that the PMO cycle was not the problem.</p><p>During the divorce I saw a counselor who told me I was addicted to porn, but I was going through a LOT of things and chose to ignore it, thinking whats the problem with PMO when you don’t have anyone. Looking back it was so stupid, but in my own defence, I was able to lose a LOT of weight and change my attitude towards women even before I quit PMO.</p><p>At around the 30 day mark of the program I told my girlfriend what I was going through. She was supportive and I stuck with ‘easy’ mode in the sense I still had sexual activity, just didn’t O, and still had PIED issues. At around the 90 day mark I for the first time in my life had PIV sex where I gave her an orgasm, and a few days later, I actually had an O inside a woman for the first time EVER. It was such a different experience that I didn’t even know it was happening till it was done.</p><p>Suffice to say I felt pretty good (even though like any one who is having first time sex, it was sooo quick). Then I think I fell into a flatline, or something happened. For the next two weeks I couldn’t get it up at all, and I was despondent. I felt like I did in my first relationship, that I was broken. But unlike last time, I felt horrible because I wanted to be better, because I know myself and my girlfriend deserve a normal sex life.</p><p>If one thing I’ve learned as a side effect of giving up PMO is that your emotions pour out of you like no one’s business. And this weekend after some progress in the right direction a few things happened that led me down a deep, dark path of self doubt. I can say honestly I never thought about relapsing, but I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel.</p><p>I also read the forums and we all know that in addition to the success stories we have stories of struggle, and there was a post yesterday that was something like “I just want to cry”. And I’m a typical guy, was told never to cry, and then you add on PMO which masks our emotions, I never cried. But I just cried about where I am, and cried in front of my girlfriend, just because the emotions were pouring out and I wasn’t bottling it up anymore and I wasn’t resorting to fap either.</p><p>As someone who PMOed for 30+ years and didn’t cry for 30+ years I can say that both things are definitely wrong. I can only wish someone I trusted had told me this. I can’t say that crying on its own felt better, but confronting my emotions, my insecurities, my fears, with someone I trusted was a big step of the process.</p><p>So after being reassured that my girlfriend and I would work on it as a team, and us talking over some things that normal couples do (such as being more expressive during sex over what we like, etc) we tried again the next couple of days. The next day, I was able to have PIV sex and have an O (so yes, the second time in my life inside a woman). Since I was aware of the sensation I was able to actually delay the O for a few minutes, but still not enough for my GF to O. The day after, I can say that it was a normal (still brief) sexual encounter .. I brought my GF to O and then I O afterwards.</p><p>In any regular life this is not something to write home about, because the sex was just ‘normal’. But after all this time, being normal is all I want. I now have regular issues – having to time my and my GF O, different sexual libidos, etc. And I’m not completely out of the woods. I am still so insecure about this and know that doubt will come into my mind again.</p><p>But I only know one thing — PMO is no longer an option. I just can’t do it anymore. One last aside. A couple of days ago my GF and I watched the movie Thanks for Sharing. That movie is about sex addiction but there’s a LOT in common with our problems (as porn and masturbation addiction are often also problems of sex addicts). My GF told me after watching it she felt a lot more understanding of the journey I was going through. Since she was sitting next to me she also said I was sweating a lot through the movie. I believe that was because it was uncomfortably accurate. So we had some more serious and frank discussions about the addiction and the recovery process.</p><p>I told her that while I’ve been tempted to fap I didn’t do it because I didn’t want to fail you guys online, fail the fellow soldiers in the nofap war, fail her, or fail myself. I think about all of those folks I’d let down if I fap and then I don’t. I told her the truth that I’ve had much more difficulty with porn and that I want to give it up for good too. And then she asked me, very sweetly, to give that up for her too. And you know, I’m glad she asked me. Some guys might take it poorly (like the Don Jon character did in that movie) but I know she did it because she loves me and now every time I’m tempted to click a link I don’t want to let her down.</p><p>tl;dr After four months with some severe ups and downs, many of them emotional, am able to have normal sex with all the normal issues that normal people have. The reboot isn’t complete but the journey is the ONLY option I have.</p><hr><p> </p><p><strong>UPDATE2  <a class=- Dir kënnt erëm zréck kommen (gescheet wéinst Porno)

Also, ech hu mäi ganzt Liewen e grousse Problem mat Porno. Mäi beschte Frënd huet mech an de Lycée virgestallt an ech war e geeky, nerdy Kand, also ech erënnere mech drun datt ech Stonnen GIFe vu mengem 1200 Baud Modem erofgelueden hunn a se vu mengem Papp verstoppt hunn (Niewebemierkung: meng Elteren Approche fir mir just ze soen et ass schlecht ouni jeemools ze erkläre firwat NET funktionnéiert. Dir musst och dovun ausgoen datt Är Kanner méi clever si wéi Dir - wa se eppes maache wëllen wat Dir net stëmmt, da maache se et).

Meng Bezéiung mat Porno huet all richteg Bezéiung virgestallt, déi ech mat Fraen hat. Et huet net wierklech beaflosst wéi ech Fraen behandelt hunn, awer et huet behandelt wéi ech SEX behandelt hunn. An de Schluss ass ech léiwer Sex ouni Uerteel an op Nofro anstatt den Ups and Downs vum richtege Sex.

Also wärend ech keng Reservatioun iwwer "Sex" virum Bestietnes hat erënnere mech erënnere wéi piss aarm et war a wéi ech bal direkt zréck op Porno gaang sinn. Hat net Sex op der Hochzäitsnuecht, an da fir véierzéng Joer géif ech meng wöchentlech Sexnuecht mat menger (elo ex) Fra fäerten, Excuse maachen fir dat ze vermeiden, an dann amplaz an deen anere Raum ze goen an e puer ze fannen Porno fir auszeschalten.

Och wann dëst net deen eenzege Problem a menger Bezéiung war, am Réckbléck war et en enormen Deel dovun - wahrscheinlech 90%. An et ass net mol de Mangel u Sex, et war wierklech de Manktem un Intimitéit. A wärend zu där Zäit wou ech Buedem war wéi meng (elo ex) Fra eng Scheedung gefrot huet, elo denken ech firwat d'Häll hatt sou laang gewaart huet, firwat hunn ech et erlaabt?

Also wärend der Scheedungsprozeduren hunn ech e Bestietnes gesinn dee meng Probleemer mat Porno richteg diagnostizéiert huet. Awer ech hunn et ëmmer ignoréiert, besonnesch well ech fir déi éischte Kéier an zwanzeg Joer nei Single war, a Porno war dat bequem wat ech mäi ganzt Liewen kannt hunn.

An dunn hunn ech e perfekt Meedche kennegeléiert, a mir hate Sex. An et war sou frustréierend. Et ass erëm schlecht gaang. Awer dës Kéier wäert ech net nëmmen dovun ausgoen "sou ass et". Ech hu misse feststellen wat falsch war, well ech mat menger Ex-Fra ugeholl hunn datt 'Sex net noutwendeg ass wann Dir Léift hutt' oder sou e Bullshit. Ech wousst elo datt e glécklecht, erfëllen Sexliewen eng Noutwendegkeet fir eng laangfristeg Bezéiung war.

Dat ass wéi ech op de Nofap a pornofree Foren gestouss sinn an e puer Geschichte iwwer Leit gelies hunn, wéi ech. An et war eng LANG Strooss mat Réckwee tëscht, awer ech hunn probéiert Porno a Fap fir bal ee Joer opzeginn. Déi aktuell Frëndin weess vu mengem Problem a war ënnerstëtzt.

Well ech probéiert hunn déi zwee opzeginn, hunn ech vill besser Sex (op kee Fall perfekt) a konnt mat hatt orgasmen (ech hat ni mat menger Ex-Fra). An déi laang a kuerz dovun ass datt ech erëm engagéiert sinn, mat dëser Zäit e gesonde Sexliewen ouni Porno a Fap als Deel vum Plang.

tl; dr Éischt Bezéiung vu bal zwanzeg Joer verrotzt vu bannen duerch PMO Sucht an huet zu Scheedung gefouert. Konnt et ëmdréinen an eng nei Bezéiung opbauen (** Ech ENGAGÉIERT **) nodeems ech PMO opginn hunn.

Also fir déi, déi wéi Dir Iech fillt mat engem nidderegen Punkt, sinn vill vun eis gewiescht. Dir kënnt et ëmkucken, egal wou Dir sidd.