Alter 16 - Kee méi sozial Angscht, méi Vertrauen, Kapp ass kloer

Hello all, Just as a fair warning, the next wall of text you are going to read is quite lengthy. I hope it’s worth it for you if you read it, and if you don’t I could care less. I’m just getting my thoughts down somewhere.

As a 16 year old Nofapper, I was fortunate to realize my problem comparatively very early then others. I gave up fapping for lent this year, and when I could only make it 10 days I resolved I would make it that 40 days one day. The idea that I could not give up a habit, what I loved the most for who I loved the most, God, startled and disgusted me. But apparently not enough for me to stop fapping full time. Feeling that disgust filled me with a want to change myself for the better.

I used to fap once a day, every day, and during summer months twice a day like clockwork. Wake up, fap. 12 at night and my parents are sleep? Fap. It woke me up, and it put me to sleep. I was fapping to the hottest girls I’ve ever seen, and 20-22 year old pornstars like Alexis Texas make immature teenage girls pale in comparison. But I was feeling pathetic for fapping, as my friends had girlfriends, hook ups, and all kinds of interactions with females and I had still yet to have my first kiss.

Come late march however, I vowed I would do a whole Nofap month to show I could make my vow one day. I got a buddy and googled NoFap April, and guess what I found? Camp_Olympia’s sign up for NoFap april. Next thing I know, I signed up and joined and made it 29 days out of 30. Yeah, I broke on the LAST day. Ever since I’ve been on this challenge and relapsed plenty but lasted long. My current record is 34 days, and I’m on my way to beating it and going as long as I can.

I’m doing fairly well. All summer however, I’ve been trapped in my basement while my parents work so I can’t leave except for special occasions and if I go hang out with friends (most of which are on vacation). However, I’ve left the house a fair amount for assorted reasons, and while I was out and about I noticed a few things.

I could go on about my living habits, but let me give you a summary of what has changed in my life since the day I began the challenge about 4 months ago:

  • I have cured my social anxiety. I’m good at public speaking, and have always had a knack for being social. However, I freeze around girls, especially one I’m attracted to. Since I’ve started, I’ve taken the initiative to talk to everyone I see, save a few exceptions. -I’m more conversational Tying into the previous, I go on walks every once in a while, and I find that when I see ANYONE, families, men with dogs, women with dogs, the elderly, obese people, I just say hello and inquire on their day or something about them. It’s definitely increased my conversational ability.
  • I’m more driven to change. I workout daily. Pushups are a godsend because you can do then ANYWHERE, anytime. It may not always be socially acceptable but if there’s a floor, you can do them. I’ve taken it upon my self to change my basement into a workout room. Enough equipment for the basics. I’ve also subscribed to / r / veriféieren , which has helped me to structure myself and my standards in women.
  • I’ve corrected my self confidence issues. Not to say I really was struggling too much with it before, but I’d have days where I wouldn’t feel like I was amazing and affirmations just didn’t work. I had been rejected a few times by girls for various things, and my view of myself didn’t seem to correspond to reality and I suffered. Since Nofap, I changed my opinion of myself. It didn’t do it for me, but it helped me to. Now I’m ridiculously confident, and cocky. But hey, I like it. I just go to the bathroom and look in the mirror and can’t help but smile because I like what I see now. I take my shirt off and I feel comfortable, proud even. It’s gotten better.
  • When I go out, girls stare. I’ve had braces for 2.5 years. Girls might check me out, but I used to throw it off as coincidence. Since I started Nofap, I noticed girls were checking me out. They always were all along, but I was finally noticing it. And acting on it. I talked to the girls that were looking at me, and made some good friends. My most memorable time with this is when I was going to get Mcdonalds and my mom was driving, and the lady who was giving the food literally made eye contact with me, and I smiled and I watched her literally Schmelz. She didn’t stop looking at me as she gave the food to my mom and said have a good day. Made me feel alpha as fuck.
  • My head is more clear. My thoughts are more organized, I’m more focused and dedicated to the task at hand. Unrelated slightly, but I’ve gotten ridiculously good at league these days. I like to attribute it to my ability to make better decisions and better judgement calls, caused by Nofap. Might sound like a stretch, but no joke.

But the best part is this confidence. My goodness it’s strong. All I can think about is going back to school for my junior year and having girls all over me. With contacts on, braces finally off, and self esteem out the ass, I’m ready to take this year by storm in more ways then one. I’ll get a better GPA then last year and continue my upward trend from a 3.6 to a 3.7, and hopefully a 3.8 this year. This year has the potential to be my best year ever, and it has the potential to be yours as well. In life, the people who are the most successful are the ones who make their own luck, take life into their own hands. I’m ready to do that. The question is, are you?

LINK - The thoughts of a man addicted and isolated.

by Ausen