First of all, I’d like to say that there are any number of reasons for doing NoFap. You could be fighting an addiction, trying to better yourself for a significant other (or future significant other), or simply trying to test your resolve. Regardless of why you’re doing this, you’re all strong people who should be proud of yourselves. I really just want to tell you guys to keep it up and that you can do it.
Now, I want to share about my experience, starting with why I chose to start.
I had found that my view of women was destructive. While I never fell into seeing them as nothing more than vaginas with some other attachments, I did find a certain degree of self-destruction. This manifested in having a constant sexual urge, which resulted in feeling compelled to always be checking girls out, which isn’t exactly what I wanted to be doing.
Additionally, I found myself expecting things from women in ways that weren’t realistic, and weren’t always sexual. For example, before I started I had started flirting with this girl, and even when I started to realize we didn’t get along very well, I kept pushing to be in a relationship with her. I didn’t actually want it, I saw it as something to accomplish because I had to. Basically, PMO had a huge role in me turning women into something other than regular people. Not always in really bad or demeaning way, but still in a way that I found self-destructive.
The next reason is that I had noticed it dominating my life more than I’d like. I won’t go into detail, because this is such a common motivation, but basically I was watching porn every day. As a result it was a constant craving, I was never satisfied, and I was tired and unmotivated.
Lastly, I am a Buddhist, so there was a certain desire to cut out “sexual misconduct” because it reinforces craving, which Buddhists see as the source of suffering. I am not trying to preach about Buddhism, but this did have a huge role to play.
I’d like to start my report of the effects by saying that it gets easier. I can remember day 6, and the incredible willpower I had to exert into not relapsing. But these days, it isn’t really on my radar. The urge kinda fades. Around day 20, when I saw a hot girl it stopped being “I want to fuck them” or “I need to jerk off” and became “I want to go talk to them.” These days, I still have healthy sexuality, but it doesn’t motivate me to expect any thing from women, and it doesn’t manifest itself as a craving so much as an appreciation of a moment. I am honestly more sexually satisfied now (when I haven’t fapped for 95 days) than I have ever been.
I did notice a gain in energy and testosterone, but the novelty of this wears off pretty quickly, and it becomes the new norm. But it is nice to be able to have a busy day and not come home completely exhausted.
I started dating a close friend of mine about a month ago. I can honestly say that the best effects of NoFap have been shown in this relationship. I don’t expect anything from her. I just enjoy her company. It is so nice to be able to honestly tell a girl about the entirety of your sexuality, that you only have eyes for her, and that you don’t need her to be anything (physically at least) other than what she is. Basically I feel like NoFap helped me be the best human I could be, and as a result I’m able to be a better boyfriend to an amazing girl.
When I passed day 90, I honestly didn’t think it was a big deal. It was nice to live up to a promise I made myself. I still have a lot of work to do, and I don’t think having given this up for 95 days means I’m done with that.
Seriously guys, this is so worth it. I know exactly how hard it is, but you can do it. You are being way more brave than the vast majority of men and women in the world today, and facing a part of yourself that you’d rather not acknowledge. Regardless of whether you’re doing this for yourself, or for somebody else, it is absolutely rewarding and worth your time, and the struggle.
Keep working on being the best fucking humans you can be; I know that I’ve found the first 90 days of doing so encouraging and rewarding.
LINK - Belated 90 day post
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